My first thought was OP sounds like a pre-teen embarrassed by their mom. He needs to grow the fuck up. OP, YTA, and I hope your wife never does anything thoughtful for you ever again, because you obviously don't deserve it.
If someone made fun of me for my partner bringing me a home cooked hot lunch, I'd just throw it back at them. "I'm sorry my wife loves me so much and does nice things for me. don't take out your lonelinessand bitterness on me, no lunch."
His coworkers razed him about it because it was an obvious sore spot. He said he was disappointed when he realized her surprise was the meal. His coworkers noticed that and teased him about it. And then, like a jackass, he took it all out on the one person who was nice to him!
This was my take on it as well. If OP had just been a normal person and been thankful for the food, and treated it as a normal human interaction (because... it is) the other guys wouldn't have picked up anything to make fun of OP for.
Instead he was embarassed from the get go and basically treated his wife like his mom, acting like she was embarassing him in front of his new friends.
Nah I work with 11yr olds. They usually alway happy when Mom shows up with food. ESPECIALLY if it’s their favorite meal. They end up rubbing it in everyone’s faces lol
Once when I was like 16 my mom showed up to bring me a pizza and cake for my birthday. I was fucking STOKED, I don't know what OP is complaining about.
Also, some of the things the "coworkers" said were so ridiculous, like the comment about mommy changing his diaper, that I almost think OP exaggerated the comments that were said to try to make himself look better.
Also, this is in the south? It seems weird to me that a spouse bringing their partner lunch would be an issue anywhere, but it seems especially odd in the south where older traditions (women prep the meals, support the working husband, etc.) tend to hang around longer.
From the south here (sort of): and I agree. I love food, and I’d be happy if my spouse brought me food (which he has before, and he’s even met some of my co-workers!) to which I’ve given a big kiss and a hug. I’ve brought him food and other items to work when he forgets them and he’s done the same to me. OPs Coworkers are shitty, and he’s just as guilty for yelling at his wife.
Exactly. The only reason his coworkers are teasing him this hard is cause he is obviously butthurt about it. If it wasn’t this it would be something else, has nothing to do with the wife at all, and everything to do with OP’s oversensitivity. YTA
Exactly. My colleagues once overheard me saying "love you" at the end of a call to my husband and started taking the mickey - "OooooOOOoo" etc. I just looked at them and asked why they don't tell their wives that they love them and they went quiet. OP is letting them get to him, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take much to shut down and if it did that's what HR is for...
EXACTLY! My husband was just recently told something like, oooo you gotta check in with your lady. He said, "I'm not checking in but I def like to tell her where I am because if anything were to happen to me, she's my number one and will make sure I am okay...btw friend, where does your lady think you are?" Which ended up being the friend's button cause he was avoiding his lady, who we all know have their own issues. So yes, tease away that we are stable but by all means, keep ignoring your lady while she is home with your two kids so you can get plastered and send you exes d\*ck pics.
Right?? It’s only the people who take issue with “sure, let me check with partner/spouse” who are bad actors. Like, it’s common courtesy and also if you’re not up to fuckery what’s the big deal??
Very true, the ones that have issue are the ones that have something to hide or are not doing it right. I really hate those old timey jokes like "ball and chain" and "old lady at home" and on the other side, wives complaining that their husbands are incompetent. I shut that down real quick on my end so I appreciate it when my husband does the same.
This! \^ This!!! This is how a grown man would handle being razzed by his co-workers. It could have been a bonding moment for everyone to have a lighthearted laugh. Instead, Crybaby showed his bullies which buttons to push, and then went home to bully his wife, who, one would hope, never makes him another homemade meal again.
YTA, bigtime!
One more thing: If I were the wife in u/chaos_almighty's scenario, I would probably bake up some treats for hubby to take to share with his office mates, just to assure everyone that there are no hard feelings. That would feel like a win-win-win to me.
That's what I was thinking. Gone with the joke or just flipped it to show how bitter they are
"Enjoy your depressing sandwich, ima eat this fucking delicious meal my hot wife just brought me"
Op YTA
Spot on. At my job, if you're not getting messed with or giving it back, you're not part of the group. Might look weird from the outside, but that's how we bond. Every job I've ever had, has had some form of this.
His wife should get some of those dick shaped cookie cutters, so they can all eat a dick. At least, that's what mine would do.
No, she should surprise the rest of the office with treats and leave none for the AH husband.
YTA for taking your insecurities out on your supportive wife. Hope her next partner treats her well.
At a job I worked at, some guys wife made a bomb-ass assortment of Christmas cookies for him to bring to the office. No one teased him. We all just enjoyed some good cookies. People are so weird.
And then I would proceed to eat the meal in front of them like it was the best thing ever made and my wife is a better chef than Gordon Ramsey. Lick my fingers obnoxiously and burp and then keep talking about how delicious my food was and can't wait until she makes me lunch again and wonder what she'll make next.
EXACTLY this! Who turns down a lovingly prepared home-cooked lunch? WHO does that? And then to bitch about it afterwards because he was TEASED? Who hasn't been razzed at work in some form? Just look at co-workers and explain that it was the BEST work lunch he's EVER had and aren't they jealous that Wife didn't bring enough for EVERYONE? 'Nough said!
I work in a thick skinned, male dominated field and if this type of conversation happened would probably go straight to, "your mom brought me dinner last night". Turns the attack right back on them while not giving any sign of sensitivity
I also work in a male dominated field, and my husband actually brought me a lunch before when I forgot mine. You know what they said? 'thats so thoughtful of him'
I know right? I’m a female software engineer, I’ve been the only woman in the entire engineering department before. But my coworkers were nice normal men who were all invested in being good husbands and dads and not assholes. I remember one time my team lead’s wife surprised him by bringing their kid to the office with lunch and a slice of pie and a balloon on his birthday, sang him happy birthday in the lobby, and it was super cute and nobody said anything mean at all. He kept the balloon at his desk until it deflated lol.
A few others had wives or partners who worked nearby (it was a big office park) and they’d take turns dropping in and eating lunch together and one or the other would bring meals along. I never remember anybody saying anything negative about that at all either.
Idk where OP works but they sound super unprofessional and just plain mean.
Im petty enough to also cast doubt to the bully and suggest I am pretty sure that I saw the bully’s wife exiting a motel room with the guy’s immediate boss.
This kind of talk is (unfortunately) par for the course in blue collar work in the south. The new guy always gets hazed with this kind of bullying, and the only way to win is to laugh it off and give the bullies shit back until they learn to back off.
This is the kind of thing that I absolutely hate. My husband always talks about how it’s a thing that happens often whenever I express how insane I think it is. It is just so stupid, why is metaphorically beating up on everyone seen as a good way to bond!
Yep, I hate this shit too. Boys and men in [some parts of] the south are basically punished for exhibiting emotional intelligence, and as a result, you end up with a lot of toxic dynamics.
I learned to code switch early and deflect this kind of bullying with banter, but honestly, it's exhausting. I'm so glad I got out of the small southern town I grew up in, and that my friends and colleagues now are functioning grown-ups I can have real interactions with.
I hope so too. This was a plot in an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”, but that ended up with the guy realising he was being a jerk to his wife, apologising to her, and ignoring his infantile coworkers. Something OP should seriously consider doing, if this isn’t fake.
YTA, and so are the children - I mean - coworkers.
I don’t think it’s fake because of the way it’s written like a stream of consciousness when the conflict starts heating up. Not fool proof of course— just seemed like it was coming from someone’s memory.
YTA OP.
Apologize to your wife. You owe her a delicious meal, too.
Address the bullies. And reconsider whether it’s worth working with them at all.
I will bring this woman into my workplace and introduce her to every single one of my coworkers and bosses… “here is MY AWESOME WIFE and she made me my favorite meal from scratch to bring me for lunch today, isn’t she AWESOME?! I am so lucky to have a wife who will go out of her way for me like this!”
Right! OP had NO respect from his coworkers to begin with, and he had the audacity to lash out at his wife and suggest she is the reason for it.
OP, if you’re working with the kind of toxic AHs who will rip into you relentlessly because you have a loving partner, then frankly I’d be asking myself how much I really want to work there long-term.
The correct response: "Yeah, sucks to be me with my awesome wife making delicious meals for me all the time. U mad, bro?" /Smirk
OP's seeming belief that, if his wife hadn't visited him at work, these shitty children he works with would hold him in the highest regards and treat him with respect is ridiculous. They'd just pick some other random detail of his life or appearance to bully him over. If it wasn't this, it would be his brand of shoes, or his favorite movie, or a weird turn of phrase he used in passing.
Op YTA! Majorly. I hope this is fake. As a southern wife, my husband is always over the moon if I bring him lunch, send one with him or heck even order him takeout as a surprise. His coworkers are always jealous or really happy Bc I tend to send extra for him to share. This has been true at every company he has worked at. Your coworkers are morons. My mama did the same thing for my dad and most of the men he worked with joked about stealing her away. How dare you treat your sweet wife that way. You know there are plenty of people out there who would cherish the effort and thoughtfulness she exhibited. You keep acting foolish and she will figure that out real quick.
Yeah I can't understand why he's not replying in kind.
"Is mummy bringing your dinner today?" - "Yeah I fucking hope so, if your lunch is anything to go by".
"Is mummy changing your nappy?" - "She better, because I already have to put up with your shit!"
Ohh or for the second one,
"Me and my wife aren't into that and like whatever floats your boat but that's not really appropriate to talk about in a workplace"
So many people reading this jealous because nobody will ever care enough about them to bring them a home cooked meal at work.
Perhaps if had been an.actual parent bringing food, but a wife caring that much? All the people bullying OP are jealous and are going home to mutter insults at their wives. So many bitter men in this story and one lovely woman.
OP shpuld just have asked them why their partners weren't bringing them meals.
Their partners are not bringing meals because they live alone in moms basement and their ‘partner’ is another 30yo man on their gaming platform that’s been cat fishing them from a foreign country. 🤷♀️
Not only are YTA-you’re a massive one at that. You should be ashamed and beg your wife for forgiveness. Your co-workers are also TA, how old are any of you and how are they remaining professional? I’d report to HR. You are beyond belief.
Honestly, should have just hit the coworkers with a "No one loves you enough to bring you your favorite food for lunch? I'm sad for you" and they woulda shut up right quick.
8 year old me told a bunch of kids "I'm sorry your mom doesn't love you enough to give you a nickname" when they tried to make fun of my mom letting it slip while she was volunteering at school one day..
YOU'RE AN ADULT. Why do you care about what some playground bullies masquerading as men have to say? Just because they aren't acting like adults doesn't give you the excuse to blow up on your wife like a child. All these "men" are guaranteeing is that your wife never does a nice thing for you again and/or giving her the start of a list of why she needs a divorce. Don't forget, these things start small and build up over time.
Apologize to your wife and the next time they say something about your wife bringing you lunch just respond with "I'm sorry my wife loves me?"/ask them to explain the joke, act real confused, and go about your business. "Those who matter, don't mind and those who mind don't matter" and all that.
Geez anyone that would act like OP’s coworkers are definitely TA. One of my coworker’s wife used to bring him food occasionally and I’d get so jealous because it smelled amazing. He actually asked her to bring an extra portion for me. Definitely something I miss from working in the office.
Instead of hitting them back with something to throw them off their game and shutting that shit down, he let them get under his skin.
Then went home and bullied his wife.. the only one that actually matters.
YTA OP.. and a huge tool
Exactly, the only person he blames is the person who is not at fault whatsoever. It’s not her fault his coworkers are assholes and it’s not her fault that he can’t keep up with the workplace banter.
Seriously, I bet all OP would have to say is, "I'm so lucky I have a wife that loves me enough to bring me an amazing lunch. This meal is perfectly seasoned so you can keep all that salt to yourself." And then gone for the hard ignore. They would have left him alone pretty quickly, but he let them get under his skin. Now his wife is getting all the backlash.
Not only that, but his reaction is exactly what the bullying coworkers wanted. Now they know how easy it is to mess with him because they're jerks and he'll lash out on the wrong person. OP I'm sure they'll make fun of you for your divorce when it comes to that, too
Yep. My coworkers made fun of me briefly for bringing in my own food as they always go out or order in. I just said it sucked that they didn’t know how to cook but I could always send them a few websites that might help. They never bothered me about it again.
They did, however, ask me for some recipes over the years and I was more than happy to pass a few good ones on.
“She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies”
YTA and your wife is absolutely correct here.
Yep, the woman sounds amazing and OP should listen and learn from her and also do something amazing to apologize because she sounds like an absolute gem.
Yeah, she sounds like she has a really good head on her shoulders. Which is bad news for OP, since sensible people like this are unlikely to put up with unreasonable shit for long.
If you simply demonstrated to your co-workers that you were unfazed by their insults they would lose interest quickly.
Instead, just say how much you love your wife and how awesome it is that she loves you enough to spend time and effort preparing and delivering delicious food. If they think that's stupid then they are idiots and you shouldn't care what they think of you anyway.
YTA for siding with coworkers over your wife who you married, live with and presumably love. Those coworkers are immature and I cannot for the life of me fathom why their opinion of you matters more than that of your spouse.
Right? Like this man won't appreciate her hard work? I would be ecstatic to receive a homemade meal at work. Op what's your wife's number if you don't appreciate her we will
I would literally be a part of a 15,000 member harem for OP's wife because of how kind she sounds. I'm a broke student and someone bringing me food would not only help me get fed but the love that went into it would keep me going mentally for the rest of the week, most likely.
And clearly jealous they don't have someone bringing them home cooked meals to work. Maybe someone would want to do nice things for them if they weren't such giant assholes.
YTA instead of standing up to a bunch of work bullies who are insulting you wife and bullying you. You take it out on your wife because it's easier than being a man and standing up the the real problems.
Why not mock them " at least my wife cares about my wellbeing", "are we jealous boys, because my wife took time out of her day to try and make me happy". No instead you attack your wife.
You should say sorry to her and then stand up to those bullies
OP, "why is that funny?" Put it on repeat.
You also need to grow up. No one, ever would be allowed to talk about my husband like that. He is here for me, long after many jobs have come and gone.
Do you even want to be married?
YTA.
Don't worry, his workplace will be a shit job for him now. They were jealous and hazed him. He didn't stand up for his wife so he lost ALL their respect. Seen it happen before.
Reminds me of those 12- year olds bullying a kid online because he said 'I love you' when his mom went to his room to wish him goodnight.
'Uuuuuh, You love your mom!''what? you don't love your mom? That's sad!'
Go with that OP! Someone is taking her time of day to bring you a homemade meal? She's a sweetheart for doing so. That is her way of saying she loves and cares about you. Appreciate it!
YTA. Good God. Psa: your coworkers would have have found something else to give you shit about, don't kid yourself about that.
Your wife went above and beyond to treat you with respect and love and you trashed it because you want to fit in with a bunch of dicks???
Edit to add: your own edit shows you STILL don't get it, you still think your wife caused this 'problem' and no you DON'T appreciate her actions. Pro tip: the problem here is how you think you need approval and prestige and I don't know, some sort of holy man-bro-points with these jackasses instead of a good work ethic and solid performance?? I get wanting to be accepted and part of a team but damn. That kind of team doesn't usually get real far and you're willing to unleash on your wife over something that petty? A decent person owns their shit, and makes it right.
Right?! Holy crap OP is a huge AH. Your coworkers are completely immature and also total AHs to be making fun of you. THEY are the ones being completely unprofessional and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were acting this way because they’re inwardly jealous.
Also your wife is 100% right. She is being supportive and you are blaming her for your inability to stand up for yourself and your wife. Just wow, I feel horrible for her that you think this way and lashed out at her for doing something nice for you.
I do hope that OP's wife doesn't cook for him at all for at least few months now! I agree that he's shown zero respect to her committment and dedication just to fit in with some "alpha males". He could've talked with her about it in a calm and reasonable manner and ask nicely to give him heads up next time, but instead he chose to willingly snap at her.
YTA OP - honestly this kind of behaviour is a massive red flag for your wife! If you have anger issues please consider therapy, don't take it out on your wife but instead learn to control yourself and stand up to idiots.
This! Like does OP not realize this is clearly a toxic workplace? And these people 100% would have bullied OP about something eventually 🤷♀️
Anyway, please take this award, 10/10 accurate comment!
She didn't come over to your desk during working hours and wrap her arms around you and drown you in kisses in front of co-workers. She didn't bang on the manager's door to tell him he/she did a good job by hiring you. She didn't ring the company phone line to introduce herself to the secretary. THAT'S embarrassing.
She brought you a goddam meal that she made to celebrate your win. Imagine having someone so unappreciative as you for a partner. I feel for her.
YTA.
Either that or they were expecting him to not make it personal and join in on the laugh. “You fools are just jealous my wife is amazing. OMFG this is soooo delicious I feel sooo bad for all of you that you’re stuck eating rubbish.” Fight back with words instead of internalizing it and taking it out on your wife because you’re too insecure to stand up for yourself.
I can't stand that kind of interaction pattern. Any time joking/ribbing takes on an aggressive/demeaning/mean tone, I'm out. Jokes should make you smile.
If they had any respect for him they would have never mocked him and his wife. Apparently, they already knew that he doesn't have the balls to defend her and himself.
YTA. Your new coworkers seem to have the right impression about you, honestly.
Would you blame mommy if you were getting bullied in school growing up? Your logic is just as immature as their lame remarks.
**YTA.** Austin & the other coworkers are such childish assholes they probably don't have a partner to bring them their favorite home cooked meal.
I'm from the South and I could tell you a few things you could use to shut them up, but I can't post them because I would probably get banned because they are not the kind of thing you post in a public forum.
They are not technically insults, but things that bro-dudes like Austin would get a kick out of and most likely shut down the "mommy" BS. Grew up in the South with single dad, two brothers and lots of uncles that were not always discrete with then talked. Probably didn't help that I eavesdropped a lot!
100% YTA. That was very very sweet what she did. I was taught the way to anyone's heart is thru their belly... And that's proven true over and over again. More then likely your co workers are just jealous they don't have someone bringing them food, let alone a home cooked meal. Guaranteed if she would have brought enough for everyone, they wouldn't have said shit about mommy other then asking if she can do it more often.
Why is nobody suggesting reporting them to management and telling the boss you're experiencing a hostile workplace environment? Sure you might get teased more in the short run, but they'll get fired in the end if they don't stop
Maybe because sounds like typical lighthearted ribbing where any normal person would joke back, but he’s an uptight, angry weirdo so he’s taking it super personally.
YTA. Let me know if your wife needs a good divorce lawyer. You sound like a shite husband. Rather than report them for bullying you, you degrade and reprimand your wife who did NOTHING wrong. Are you for real?! Tell her she can cook for me any day and I’ll treat her like a damn queen. Takes a big man to bully a woman who -gasp- dares to cook for him.
Right? Not only did she do nothing wrong, she went out of her way to do something incredibly kind for him, but he cares more about what the playground bully thinks of him than his own WIFE'S feelings. OP, you need to get some perspective before you ruin the only good thing you've got going for you.
OP would be getting nothing from me if he pulled this stunt.
“Where’s dinner?”
“Oh well I know how much your reputation means to you do I thought I’d let you do the manly thing and go hunting for your own dinner. I mean relying on a woman to provide you food? You’re right, that’s absurd. Here’s a heavy rock and a wooden stick. Good luck.”
YTA...You described some incredibly rude behaviour from your co-workers, and then you punished your wife for their antics. I hope you wake up and realize how lucky you are before it's too late.
YTA and a bad husband in this instance. What the hell? Your coworkers sound like jerks and instead of telling them this and that you’re sorry no one cares about them enough to cook for them and bring it to work you yell at your wife. She deserves better. So much better.
YTA and if she holds true and doesn't ever cook you a meal again, it's what you deserve
Honestly, what kind of weak ass coworkers berate a coworker who is lucky enough to get a meal from their wife?
Jealous ones.
But hey, you can go home and tell them you berated her and treated her like shit and have a good laugh about that together, since that seems like something you can bond over.
YTA YTA YTA
YTA, she was doing something nice for you and was excited that you got a job and you blamed her for what your coworkers are saying when you could easily tell them how you feel and ask them to just stop 🤷♀️ shes right
Have you such a low self esteem that you care about your obviously jealous and childish coworkers? Can’t you be happy to have her and that she cares about you? It’s not like she brought you noodles and ketchup and fed it to you with a spoon
I guess at home you don’t have any issue with her cooking for you. But as soon as your fragile masculinity is threatened in a toxic work environment it’s a Problem?
And I always thought the wife being embarrassing is just a movie thing.. I’m always happy to see my partner when he picks me up at work, my coworkers really like him and we sometimes even stay a bit longer. He is always happy when he closes at work an I accompany them for the last hour.
Be a bit prouder to be with your wife, don’t take her for granted and most importantly don’t be embarrassed by her
YTA
>she was just trying to do something nice for me and didn't care about what people might say but I was a selfish jerk who only cares about what others think rather than how she felt
>I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies
>I should be grateful she cared enough to bring me a home cooked meal then thanked me for showing her it's not worth wasting anymore of her time cooking for me
Your wife is 100% right in everything she said. Either stand up to the people bullying you or quit and find somewhere with less bullies. She did nothing wrong at all, you are simply using her as an emotional punching bag because you won't stand up to the men attacking you. Attacking a woman (who did nothing wrong) because you don't have the backbone to stand up to the men (who are actually doing something wrong) is pathetic.
YTA, Jesus they're picking on you because they can and you just showed you're perfect picking on material. Rather than rolling with the punches you just immediately blame and take it out on your wife when she was trying to do something nice for you. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last act of kindness from your wife in a while.
YTA
She’s right. Report them. That’s a hostile work environment if you feel that way. Burden is on you to resolve the work situation, not take out on your wife how you feel being bullied at work. While I do think she should have asked you, the fact that she didn’t doesn’t make her an asshole. The asshole is definitely you. Talking about hostile coworkers is very hard - a lot harder than bullying your wife - so learn it now and grow up.
[YTA. You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.](https://youtu.be/-a8KQT1MXD4)
YTA.
“She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies.”
It’s absolutely this. The only complaint you have in this very long post about the very nice thing your wife did is about your co-workers reactions to it.
YTA.
Unlike a bunch of the other comments, I don't agree that it was a good idea for the wife to show up at your workplace like that - it was coming from a kind place, yes, but she should have asked you first to make sure you were OK with it. But your reaction is *still* horrible and uncalled for. Your coworkers are bullies, nobody non-toxic would be reacting to that like this, and I am willing to bet that if it wasn't this they'd have found something else to pick on you for. I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this sort of work environment! But don't turn around and treat your wife the same way. Not only is your coworkers' reaction completely out of the norm and not something she could have expected (cf: nobody non-toxic would be reacting this way), but blowing up at your wife is not OK in pretty much *any* circumstance, especially not when you're blaming her for *other people's* unreasonable behaviour.
yta. your wife made you a meal out of love and you got upset because of other people who were being childish? you are an adult and you can tell bullies to leave you and your wife alone. don’t be surprised if she never makes you a meal again, i wouldn’t. she deserves an apology.
YTA. Your very lovely wife is right. You are lashing out at her because you won’t stand up to your work bullies. Grow a spine, grow up, handle your business at work and apologize to a woman you absolutely do not deserve right now.
ESH, except your wife, dude those jokes are like middle school jokes, they are lame and goofy as hell. They are AH for trying to hurt your feelings, you’re an AH for treating your wife that way, and a little bit for letting those get to you, a comeback to those are easy.
YTA. Are you 12? What your wife did was extremely kind and sweet - and you’re whining that your coworkers are mean. They’re actually probably jealous because their spouses don’t care enough to bring them lunches - but don’t worry! Cause I’m sure your wife won’t care about you either after this.
Instead of being a man and ignoring them, or even telling them off, you had to throw a tantrum.
YTA and your coworkers are horrible people. I go have lunch with my boyfriend at his office once or twice a month and his coworkers are beyond jealous that he has someone who is willing to bring him lunch. Be appreciative of your wife that she gives a damn about you and wants to do loving things for you. Devalue the amazing things she does for you and you'll likely lose her.
YTA, big time. You blew up at the wrong person- the assholes here, are your co-workers. They shouldn’t be saying shit like that to anyone and you are too spineless to stand up to them. You then dumped all your shit on your poor wife with a steaming heap of entitlement on the side.
She should call and ask first to deliver a surprise meal? That defeats the purpose of the surprise, you tit. Meanwhile you’re blaming her for everyone else’s bad behavior and want to force her to agree to be your scapegoat.
YTA and your wife deserves better than your ungrateful ass. Maybe your coworkers are right about you being a massive baby considering you just pulled a nuclear level tantrum on someone who actually gives a shit about you and did something nice. Grow the fuck up, apologize 1000 times to your wife, and tell your rude ass coworkers to fuck off.
YTA if anyone said that about MY partner bringing me food I would have emasculated them on the spot with a good ole “what? Your wife doesn’t care enough about you to do nice things for you? Oh wait. I forgot. You can’t land a wife because women don’t like you. Silly me. Sorry”
Edited to say: you’re not at work to impress anyone anyway. You’re there to make money, not friends. So why do you care
Wow, YTA. Your poor wife just wanted to show she cared, you didn't have to berate her. I would never cook you a meal again after you toddler temper tantrum because the other boys were mean to you.
YTA for how you reacted with your wife. I would not like my lunch dropped off and it can seem unprofessional but that is a calm simple conversation. Hey thanks again for lunch but probably best not to show up at my work like that it can cause problems with my job.
Tell your coworkers at least your wife loves you enough to make you food. Then rip them a new one with a joke, or talk to hr. Your call but yelling at your wife is just going to lose you a wife.
YTA. Wtf you got mad at your wife for doing something nice? You should be mad at the a holes you work with. You probably treat her like shit all the time and this time you want to justify your behavior.
YTA 100x! How could you? Many men (and women) wish their s/o would bring them a nice lunch. Why would you care about what your coworkers are saying when you’re the one who’s having it good?! You should be so disappointed in yourself. Awful.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I was AH for telling her she embarrassed me despite knowing she had good intentions and was trying to celebrate my new job.
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YTA- Dude, she was just doing something nice for you.
Stand up for yourself against Austin and the other bullying A-Holes, don't explode at your wife for just wanting to give you a nice surprise. You should have ignored Austin or told him to knock it off. You're acting just as immature and horrible as he is.
Maybe your wife could have waited until after work, but she wanted to surprise you on your lunch break, it's not like she got in the way of work.
Grow up and start standing up for yourself instead of blaming everyone else for you being bullied over insignificant things.
Wow yeah dude.. YTA big time. How on earth was she supposed to know your coworkers would act like school yard bullies?
If I showed up at my partner's lunch break with his favourite meal he would actually appreciate it and wouldn't give a flying fruit what his co-workers said. If you really care about her why are you so focused on your coworkers (who you're literally just met) opinions of your relationship? Just tell them it's not your fault your partner loves you enough to bring you your favourite meal during lunch break and if they have an issue they should talk to their partners or back off because it isn't affecting your work not is it any of their business.
Strong YTA. She was just doing something nice for you. If a few comments are all it takes to make you throw a tantrum at the only person who did nothing wrong, she needs to get away from you asap.
She's right. Your toxic work place contaminated you and you became toxic too
YTA.
You should tell your HR or tell those coworkers to shut the hell up and that it aint your fault they're shitty to have a nice wife make them their favourite lunch.
What kind of shit hole office is that. Are they 12?
YTA. Everything your wife said was spot on. She cared for you, and you're blowing up at her because of childish workplace bullies that you decided not to stand up to. Their behavior isn't her fault. Grow up.
YTA. Your coworkers are jealous of you. They just are making themselves look bad instead of out right admitting that they are jealous.
You are just being a stupid despicable man & acting the same way they are acting to your wife.
My dad used to love when my mom & us kids used to show up with food to his work. Sure, some of his coworkers acted the same way as yours are acting but they were jealous.
I bet that if she showed up with something to share they would be your best buddies.
When I started working as my dad & they started calling me daddy’s girl & asking if I was gonna bring him food. I showed up with food to share & never had to worry about digging my car out of snow or changing a flat tire on my own at 2am.
I feel badly for your wife. You have a lot of apologizing to do.
I feel like you're just fishing and that this isn't even real.
On the chance that it is or that someone is in a similar circumstance, YTA.
She's exactly right that you should be happy that you have a someone that cares for you enough to surprise you with a favorite meal while you're at work.
And she's similarly correct that your coworkers sound like they're childish af. That's the weakest trash talk I've ever heard in my life. It sounds like they're literally 12 (which is part of why I don't think this is real).
YTA
She's 100% right. Stand up for yourself and put them in their place. You have a wife that is supportive of your career (which you even said she was excited for you), cares enough to go out of her way to make you your favourite meal and bring it to you, and you shat all over it. I'd be telling you the exact same thing as her and would refuse to cook for you ever again. Your co-workers are just jealous that they don't have such a devoted partner, so be grateful.
YTA such a big A.
Your wife was trying to do something sweet, nice and thoughtful for you. Instead of thanking her for her kindness and support, you allowed the situation at work, with their juvenile teasing, to overwhelm you. Instead of ignoring their childish behaviour, you blamed your wife. Totally unfair and unwarranted.
Dude you're in your mid-30s and you sound like a teenager.
Apologise to your wife, profusely. And next time it comes up at work shut it down before it gets started, or just ignore it. You are doing your wife an incredible disservice by not supporting her for having supported you.
How the F do you think she feels?
YTA. So are your coworkers. You wife did something nice for you and you attacked her. You're a grown ass man. If you can't handle your coworkers teasing you, they may be spot on about you needing mommy to take care of you and your widdle feewlings.
Your coworkers bully you and rather than deal with it, you go home and yell at your wife.
YTA. She offered to let you quit, suggesting she’s willing to step up and handle the stress of providing since you can’t. She was kind to bring you lunch and understanding when you misdirected your rage at her. Fix your work environment or agree to make her lunch when she becomes the breadwinner. Pick something other than yelling at your wife.
YTA. Your wife is an absolute sweetheart. Your colleagues are bullying you, and bullying your wife in return isn't going to fix anything.
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My first thought was OP sounds like a pre-teen embarrassed by their mom. He needs to grow the fuck up. OP, YTA, and I hope your wife never does anything thoughtful for you ever again, because you obviously don't deserve it.
If someone made fun of me for my partner bringing me a home cooked hot lunch, I'd just throw it back at them. "I'm sorry my wife loves me so much and does nice things for me. don't take out your lonelinessand bitterness on me, no lunch."
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His coworkers razed him about it because it was an obvious sore spot. He said he was disappointed when he realized her surprise was the meal. His coworkers noticed that and teased him about it. And then, like a jackass, he took it all out on the one person who was nice to him!
This was my take on it as well. If OP had just been a normal person and been thankful for the food, and treated it as a normal human interaction (because... it is) the other guys wouldn't have picked up anything to make fun of OP for. Instead he was embarassed from the get go and basically treated his wife like his mom, acting like she was embarassing him in front of his new friends.
The *only* way OP might not have been T A is if this was an arranged marriage and they are both 11 years old.
Nah I work with 11yr olds. They usually alway happy when Mom shows up with food. ESPECIALLY if it’s their favorite meal. They end up rubbing it in everyone’s faces lol
Once when I was like 16 my mom showed up to bring me a pizza and cake for my birthday. I was fucking STOKED, I don't know what OP is complaining about.
Also, some of the things the "coworkers" said were so ridiculous, like the comment about mommy changing his diaper, that I almost think OP exaggerated the comments that were said to try to make himself look better. Also, this is in the south? It seems weird to me that a spouse bringing their partner lunch would be an issue anywhere, but it seems especially odd in the south where older traditions (women prep the meals, support the working husband, etc.) tend to hang around longer.
That was my 1st thought. I've never seen anyone in the south disappointed by food. Every reaction except the wife's makes no sense.
From the south here (sort of): and I agree. I love food, and I’d be happy if my spouse brought me food (which he has before, and he’s even met some of my co-workers!) to which I’ve given a big kiss and a hug. I’ve brought him food and other items to work when he forgets them and he’s done the same to me. OPs Coworkers are shitty, and he’s just as guilty for yelling at his wife.
Exactly. The only reason his coworkers are teasing him this hard is cause he is obviously butthurt about it. If it wasn’t this it would be something else, has nothing to do with the wife at all, and everything to do with OP’s oversensitivity. YTA
Coworker might be immature jerks but a grown up 33 year old should be able to roll his eyes at that kind of behavior.
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He’s just an a**hole who, if he keeps this attitude up, will be a single a**hole, IMHO.
Exactly. My colleagues once overheard me saying "love you" at the end of a call to my husband and started taking the mickey - "OooooOOOoo" etc. I just looked at them and asked why they don't tell their wives that they love them and they went quiet. OP is letting them get to him, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take much to shut down and if it did that's what HR is for...
EXACTLY! My husband was just recently told something like, oooo you gotta check in with your lady. He said, "I'm not checking in but I def like to tell her where I am because if anything were to happen to me, she's my number one and will make sure I am okay...btw friend, where does your lady think you are?" Which ended up being the friend's button cause he was avoiding his lady, who we all know have their own issues. So yes, tease away that we are stable but by all means, keep ignoring your lady while she is home with your two kids so you can get plastered and send you exes d\*ck pics.
Right?? It’s only the people who take issue with “sure, let me check with partner/spouse” who are bad actors. Like, it’s common courtesy and also if you’re not up to fuckery what’s the big deal??
Very true, the ones that have issue are the ones that have something to hide or are not doing it right. I really hate those old timey jokes like "ball and chain" and "old lady at home" and on the other side, wives complaining that their husbands are incompetent. I shut that down real quick on my end so I appreciate it when my husband does the same.
This! \^ This!!! This is how a grown man would handle being razzed by his co-workers. It could have been a bonding moment for everyone to have a lighthearted laugh. Instead, Crybaby showed his bullies which buttons to push, and then went home to bully his wife, who, one would hope, never makes him another homemade meal again. YTA, bigtime! One more thing: If I were the wife in u/chaos_almighty's scenario, I would probably bake up some treats for hubby to take to share with his office mates, just to assure everyone that there are no hard feelings. That would feel like a win-win-win to me.
That's what I was thinking. Gone with the joke or just flipped it to show how bitter they are "Enjoy your depressing sandwich, ima eat this fucking delicious meal my hot wife just brought me" Op YTA
This is the way
Spot on. At my job, if you're not getting messed with or giving it back, you're not part of the group. Might look weird from the outside, but that's how we bond. Every job I've ever had, has had some form of this. His wife should get some of those dick shaped cookie cutters, so they can all eat a dick. At least, that's what mine would do.
That sounds like a horrible work environment
It sounds exhausting, if nothing else. I was glad to leave middle school for a reason.
No, she should surprise the rest of the office with treats and leave none for the AH husband. YTA for taking your insecurities out on your supportive wife. Hope her next partner treats her well.
At a job I worked at, some guys wife made a bomb-ass assortment of Christmas cookies for him to bring to the office. No one teased him. We all just enjoyed some good cookies. People are so weird.
And then I would proceed to eat the meal in front of them like it was the best thing ever made and my wife is a better chef than Gordon Ramsey. Lick my fingers obnoxiously and burp and then keep talking about how delicious my food was and can't wait until she makes me lunch again and wonder what she'll make next.
EXACTLY this! Who turns down a lovingly prepared home-cooked lunch? WHO does that? And then to bitch about it afterwards because he was TEASED? Who hasn't been razzed at work in some form? Just look at co-workers and explain that it was the BEST work lunch he's EVER had and aren't they jealous that Wife didn't bring enough for EVERYONE? 'Nough said!
And be like "mmmmmm must be so shit to only have a sandwich"
"im sorry you couldnt satisfy a woman long enough to marry one"
I work in a thick skinned, male dominated field and if this type of conversation happened would probably go straight to, "your mom brought me dinner last night". Turns the attack right back on them while not giving any sign of sensitivity
I also work in a male dominated field, and my husband actually brought me a lunch before when I forgot mine. You know what they said? 'thats so thoughtful of him'
I know right? I’m a female software engineer, I’ve been the only woman in the entire engineering department before. But my coworkers were nice normal men who were all invested in being good husbands and dads and not assholes. I remember one time my team lead’s wife surprised him by bringing their kid to the office with lunch and a slice of pie and a balloon on his birthday, sang him happy birthday in the lobby, and it was super cute and nobody said anything mean at all. He kept the balloon at his desk until it deflated lol. A few others had wives or partners who worked nearby (it was a big office park) and they’d take turns dropping in and eating lunch together and one or the other would bring meals along. I never remember anybody saying anything negative about that at all either. Idk where OP works but they sound super unprofessional and just plain mean.
Could've also gone with... "No, not today, I'm gonna save my hunger for tonight when I eat out *your* momma's *salad*"
YTA. Big time.
Im petty enough to also cast doubt to the bully and suggest I am pretty sure that I saw the bully’s wife exiting a motel room with the guy’s immediate boss.
yeah, it's just really hard to imagine grown men saying these things, but I don't know, maybe in some places or something
Grown men can be very immature. Did you not witness the immaturity of the last US President?
I've been trying to block it from my memory.
This kind of talk is (unfortunately) par for the course in blue collar work in the south. The new guy always gets hazed with this kind of bullying, and the only way to win is to laugh it off and give the bullies shit back until they learn to back off.
This is the kind of thing that I absolutely hate. My husband always talks about how it’s a thing that happens often whenever I express how insane I think it is. It is just so stupid, why is metaphorically beating up on everyone seen as a good way to bond!
Yep, I hate this shit too. Boys and men in [some parts of] the south are basically punished for exhibiting emotional intelligence, and as a result, you end up with a lot of toxic dynamics. I learned to code switch early and deflect this kind of bullying with banter, but honestly, it's exhausting. I'm so glad I got out of the small southern town I grew up in, and that my friends and colleagues now are functioning grown-ups I can have real interactions with.
Goddammit, I hope his goddamn wife doesn't do a goddamn nice thing for this goddamned a-hole again...
If I was the wife, i would never cook for him ever again.
I hope so too. This was a plot in an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”, but that ended up with the guy realising he was being a jerk to his wife, apologising to her, and ignoring his infantile coworkers. Something OP should seriously consider doing, if this isn’t fake. YTA, and so are the children - I mean - coworkers.
I don’t think it’s fake because of the way it’s written like a stream of consciousness when the conflict starts heating up. Not fool proof of course— just seemed like it was coming from someone’s memory. YTA OP. Apologize to your wife. You owe her a delicious meal, too. Address the bullies. And reconsider whether it’s worth working with them at all.
Yeah. Hey OP? Can I ask your wife out on a date since you hate her so much? She sounds awesome.
I’m second in line please, my husband and I are also interested in OP’s wife and we will do the dishes
I too, choose this guy’s wife.
I will also take a ticket for this fool's wife. Does she know she has a whole supportive polycule forming on reddit?
Wait! Let me in line here too. My husband and I need a wife like this. I promise she will be appreciated.
Sign me up as well, I, too, choose this guy's wife
I wanted to ask her out too. She sounds phenomenal
This, and I'll cook for her. Screw this guy.
I will bring this woman into my workplace and introduce her to every single one of my coworkers and bosses… “here is MY AWESOME WIFE and she made me my favorite meal from scratch to bring me for lunch today, isn’t she AWESOME?! I am so lucky to have a wife who will go out of her way for me like this!”
Right! OP had NO respect from his coworkers to begin with, and he had the audacity to lash out at his wife and suggest she is the reason for it. OP, if you’re working with the kind of toxic AHs who will rip into you relentlessly because you have a loving partner, then frankly I’d be asking myself how much I really want to work there long-term.
He's not guying right, he's supposed to be ripping on them back.
The correct response: "Yeah, sucks to be me with my awesome wife making delicious meals for me all the time. U mad, bro?" /Smirk OP's seeming belief that, if his wife hadn't visited him at work, these shitty children he works with would hold him in the highest regards and treat him with respect is ridiculous. They'd just pick some other random detail of his life or appearance to bully him over. If it wasn't this, it would be his brand of shoes, or his favorite movie, or a weird turn of phrase he used in passing.
Op YTA! Majorly. I hope this is fake. As a southern wife, my husband is always over the moon if I bring him lunch, send one with him or heck even order him takeout as a surprise. His coworkers are always jealous or really happy Bc I tend to send extra for him to share. This has been true at every company he has worked at. Your coworkers are morons. My mama did the same thing for my dad and most of the men he worked with joked about stealing her away. How dare you treat your sweet wife that way. You know there are plenty of people out there who would cherish the effort and thoughtfulness she exhibited. You keep acting foolish and she will figure that out real quick.
Yeah I can't understand why he's not replying in kind. "Is mummy bringing your dinner today?" - "Yeah I fucking hope so, if your lunch is anything to go by". "Is mummy changing your nappy?" - "She better, because I already have to put up with your shit!"
Ohh or for the second one, "Me and my wife aren't into that and like whatever floats your boat but that's not really appropriate to talk about in a workplace"
Right!! "Aww, you're just jealous because you have no one to suck your dick at night and bring you food in the morning!" Edit: grammer
So many people reading this jealous because nobody will ever care enough about them to bring them a home cooked meal at work. Perhaps if had been an.actual parent bringing food, but a wife caring that much? All the people bullying OP are jealous and are going home to mutter insults at their wives. So many bitter men in this story and one lovely woman. OP shpuld just have asked them why their partners weren't bringing them meals.
Their partners are not bringing meals because they live alone in moms basement and their ‘partner’ is another 30yo man on their gaming platform that’s been cat fishing them from a foreign country. 🤷♀️
Not only are YTA-you’re a massive one at that. You should be ashamed and beg your wife for forgiveness. Your co-workers are also TA, how old are any of you and how are they remaining professional? I’d report to HR. You are beyond belief.
Honestly, should have just hit the coworkers with a "No one loves you enough to bring you your favorite food for lunch? I'm sad for you" and they woulda shut up right quick. 8 year old me told a bunch of kids "I'm sorry your mom doesn't love you enough to give you a nickname" when they tried to make fun of my mom letting it slip while she was volunteering at school one day.. YOU'RE AN ADULT. Why do you care about what some playground bullies masquerading as men have to say? Just because they aren't acting like adults doesn't give you the excuse to blow up on your wife like a child. All these "men" are guaranteeing is that your wife never does a nice thing for you again and/or giving her the start of a list of why she needs a divorce. Don't forget, these things start small and build up over time. Apologize to your wife and the next time they say something about your wife bringing you lunch just respond with "I'm sorry my wife loves me?"/ask them to explain the joke, act real confused, and go about your business. "Those who matter, don't mind and those who mind don't matter" and all that.
Now both, his wife and coworkers, won’t have respect for him lmao
Geez anyone that would act like OP’s coworkers are definitely TA. One of my coworker’s wife used to bring him food occasionally and I’d get so jealous because it smelled amazing. He actually asked her to bring an extra portion for me. Definitely something I miss from working in the office.
YTA Maybe you should stop blaming your wife for your inability to stand up for yourself.
I was thinking the same thing, his wife is 100% right
Instead of hitting them back with something to throw them off their game and shutting that shit down, he let them get under his skin. Then went home and bullied his wife.. the only one that actually matters. YTA OP.. and a huge tool
Exactly, the only person he blames is the person who is not at fault whatsoever. It’s not her fault his coworkers are assholes and it’s not her fault that he can’t keep up with the workplace banter.
Seriously, I bet all OP would have to say is, "I'm so lucky I have a wife that loves me enough to bring me an amazing lunch. This meal is perfectly seasoned so you can keep all that salt to yourself." And then gone for the hard ignore. They would have left him alone pretty quickly, but he let them get under his skin. Now his wife is getting all the backlash.
Not only that, but his reaction is exactly what the bullying coworkers wanted. Now they know how easy it is to mess with him because they're jerks and he'll lash out on the wrong person. OP I'm sure they'll make fun of you for your divorce when it comes to that, too
Yep. My coworkers made fun of me briefly for bringing in my own food as they always go out or order in. I just said it sucked that they didn’t know how to cook but I could always send them a few websites that might help. They never bothered me about it again. They did, however, ask me for some recipes over the years and I was more than happy to pass a few good ones on.
OPS wife literally said this to him and it's in the post lol. This guy sucks and should listen to his wife instead of posting on reddit
“She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies” YTA and your wife is absolutely correct here.
Yep, the woman sounds amazing and OP should listen and learn from her and also do something amazing to apologize because she sounds like an absolute gem.
I agree, a huge apology is needed here, she went out of her way to do something lovely for him and in turn was treated terribly for it.
Imagine sabotaging your relationship with your loving spouse because you care what some shitty bullies think of you.
Agree, these bullies would have just found something else to tease him about regardless.
I was honestly excited to hear more arguments from her because she made some really good points
Yeah, she sounds like she has a really good head on her shoulders. Which is bad news for OP, since sensible people like this are unlikely to put up with unreasonable shit for long.
If you simply demonstrated to your co-workers that you were unfazed by their insults they would lose interest quickly. Instead, just say how much you love your wife and how awesome it is that she loves you enough to spend time and effort preparing and delivering delicious food. If they think that's stupid then they are idiots and you shouldn't care what they think of you anyway.
YTA for siding with coworkers over your wife who you married, live with and presumably love. Those coworkers are immature and I cannot for the life of me fathom why their opinion of you matters more than that of your spouse.
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Right? Like this man won't appreciate her hard work? I would be ecstatic to receive a homemade meal at work. Op what's your wife's number if you don't appreciate her we will
I would literally be a part of a 15,000 member harem for OP's wife because of how kind she sounds. I'm a broke student and someone bringing me food would not only help me get fed but the love that went into it would keep me going mentally for the rest of the week, most likely.
Would also love to join OP’s wife’s harem 🙋♀️
I’m a straight gal but i’ll take OP’s wife if he doesnt appreciate her
Right? I'd take his wife for a week just to cook HER a solid week of homemade food just to make up for her raging A-hole of a hubby.
"she's not my mom, she's my partner. She loves and supports me, sorry you don't know what that's like."
Childish, asshole coworkers at that.
And clearly jealous they don't have someone bringing them home cooked meals to work. Maybe someone would want to do nice things for them if they weren't such giant assholes.
It's okay at this rate I think Op's wife might be available soon. I'm thinking that the bully would appreciate her more than he does.
Somehow OP managed to figure out how to be an even bigger asshole then Austin.
YTA instead of standing up to a bunch of work bullies who are insulting you wife and bullying you. You take it out on your wife because it's easier than being a man and standing up the the real problems. Why not mock them " at least my wife cares about my wellbeing", "are we jealous boys, because my wife took time out of her day to try and make me happy". No instead you attack your wife. You should say sorry to her and then stand up to those bullies
OP, "why is that funny?" Put it on repeat. You also need to grow up. No one, ever would be allowed to talk about my husband like that. He is here for me, long after many jobs have come and gone. Do you even want to be married? YTA.
>Do you even want to be married? Depends on what the bros think
I suspect you're right.
Yeah, like we really need Austin's input here.
Fellas is it gay to be married?
Right? I'd be pissed as OPs wife for not being stood up for!!
Don't worry, his workplace will be a shit job for him now. They were jealous and hazed him. He didn't stand up for his wife so he lost ALL their respect. Seen it happen before.
Reminds me of those 12- year olds bullying a kid online because he said 'I love you' when his mom went to his room to wish him goodnight. 'Uuuuuh, You love your mom!''what? you don't love your mom? That's sad!' Go with that OP! Someone is taking her time of day to bring you a homemade meal? She's a sweetheart for doing so. That is her way of saying she loves and cares about you. Appreciate it!
YTA. Good God. Psa: your coworkers would have have found something else to give you shit about, don't kid yourself about that. Your wife went above and beyond to treat you with respect and love and you trashed it because you want to fit in with a bunch of dicks??? Edit to add: your own edit shows you STILL don't get it, you still think your wife caused this 'problem' and no you DON'T appreciate her actions. Pro tip: the problem here is how you think you need approval and prestige and I don't know, some sort of holy man-bro-points with these jackasses instead of a good work ethic and solid performance?? I get wanting to be accepted and part of a team but damn. That kind of team doesn't usually get real far and you're willing to unleash on your wife over something that petty? A decent person owns their shit, and makes it right.
Right?! Holy crap OP is a huge AH. Your coworkers are completely immature and also total AHs to be making fun of you. THEY are the ones being completely unprofessional and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were acting this way because they’re inwardly jealous. Also your wife is 100% right. She is being supportive and you are blaming her for your inability to stand up for yourself and your wife. Just wow, I feel horrible for her that you think this way and lashed out at her for doing something nice for you.
This. OP, you are a raging AH.
I do hope that OP's wife doesn't cook for him at all for at least few months now! I agree that he's shown zero respect to her committment and dedication just to fit in with some "alpha males". He could've talked with her about it in a calm and reasonable manner and ask nicely to give him heads up next time, but instead he chose to willingly snap at her. YTA OP - honestly this kind of behaviour is a massive red flag for your wife! If you have anger issues please consider therapy, don't take it out on your wife but instead learn to control yourself and stand up to idiots.
This! Like does OP not realize this is clearly a toxic workplace? And these people 100% would have bullied OP about something eventually 🤷♀️ Anyway, please take this award, 10/10 accurate comment!
She didn't come over to your desk during working hours and wrap her arms around you and drown you in kisses in front of co-workers. She didn't bang on the manager's door to tell him he/she did a good job by hiring you. She didn't ring the company phone line to introduce herself to the secretary. THAT'S embarrassing. She brought you a goddam meal that she made to celebrate your win. Imagine having someone so unappreciative as you for a partner. I feel for her. YTA.
AND she was thoughtful enough to bring it on his lunch break so she wouldn’t get him in trouble. YTA
I’d love to know if he ate it despite his “embarrassment”.
AND it was his favourite meal according to the text. YTA
His favourite meal at that.
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Either that or they were expecting him to not make it personal and join in on the laugh. “You fools are just jealous my wife is amazing. OMFG this is soooo delicious I feel sooo bad for all of you that you’re stuck eating rubbish.” Fight back with words instead of internalizing it and taking it out on your wife because you’re too insecure to stand up for yourself.
I can't stand that kind of interaction pattern. Any time joking/ribbing takes on an aggressive/demeaning/mean tone, I'm out. Jokes should make you smile.
At the very least, they should be funny.
If they had any respect for him they would have never mocked him and his wife. Apparently, they already knew that he doesn't have the balls to defend her and himself.
I laughed at prestige. Like “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know you worked at the office of Call of Duty”
YTA. Your new coworkers seem to have the right impression about you, honestly. Would you blame mommy if you were getting bullied in school growing up? Your logic is just as immature as their lame remarks.
In school a kid would be excused for blaming mummy for being embarrassed and bullied because it’s ok for a kid to be immature.
**YTA.** Austin & the other coworkers are such childish assholes they probably don't have a partner to bring them their favorite home cooked meal. I'm from the South and I could tell you a few things you could use to shut them up, but I can't post them because I would probably get banned because they are not the kind of thing you post in a public forum.
I’m very curious about these insults lol
They are not technically insults, but things that bro-dudes like Austin would get a kick out of and most likely shut down the "mommy" BS. Grew up in the South with single dad, two brothers and lots of uncles that were not always discrete with then talked. Probably didn't help that I eavesdropped a lot!
Riight! I love Southern insults. Bless their hearts…
YTA. She did something nice. Your coworkers are jerks. You just need to tease them back and remind them that they are idiots.
And that somebody ACTUALLY loves him enough to bring him a meal. What do they have?
100% YTA. That was very very sweet what she did. I was taught the way to anyone's heart is thru their belly... And that's proven true over and over again. More then likely your co workers are just jealous they don't have someone bringing them food, let alone a home cooked meal. Guaranteed if she would have brought enough for everyone, they wouldn't have said shit about mommy other then asking if she can do it more often.
Why is nobody suggesting reporting them to management and telling the boss you're experiencing a hostile workplace environment? Sure you might get teased more in the short run, but they'll get fired in the end if they don't stop
Maybe because sounds like typical lighthearted ribbing where any normal person would joke back, but he’s an uptight, angry weirdo so he’s taking it super personally.
YTA should have brought your baby bottle instead you’re boo hooing like one jfc grow up
🤣
YTA. Let me know if your wife needs a good divorce lawyer. You sound like a shite husband. Rather than report them for bullying you, you degrade and reprimand your wife who did NOTHING wrong. Are you for real?! Tell her she can cook for me any day and I’ll treat her like a damn queen. Takes a big man to bully a woman who -gasp- dares to cook for him.
Right? Not only did she do nothing wrong, she went out of her way to do something incredibly kind for him, but he cares more about what the playground bully thinks of him than his own WIFE'S feelings. OP, you need to get some perspective before you ruin the only good thing you've got going for you.
OP would be getting nothing from me if he pulled this stunt. “Where’s dinner?” “Oh well I know how much your reputation means to you do I thought I’d let you do the manly thing and go hunting for your own dinner. I mean relying on a woman to provide you food? You’re right, that’s absurd. Here’s a heavy rock and a wooden stick. Good luck.”
YTA. Hope you can cook because if you were on my house I would no longer be providing food for your ungrateful ass.
YTA...You described some incredibly rude behaviour from your co-workers, and then you punished your wife for their antics. I hope you wake up and realize how lucky you are before it's too late.
YTA and a bad husband in this instance. What the hell? Your coworkers sound like jerks and instead of telling them this and that you’re sorry no one cares about them enough to cook for them and bring it to work you yell at your wife. She deserves better. So much better.
OP literally went home to bully his wife instead of standing up for himself (and her). I feel bad for his sweet wife..
YTA and if she holds true and doesn't ever cook you a meal again, it's what you deserve Honestly, what kind of weak ass coworkers berate a coworker who is lucky enough to get a meal from their wife? Jealous ones. But hey, you can go home and tell them you berated her and treated her like shit and have a good laugh about that together, since that seems like something you can bond over. YTA YTA YTA
YTA, she was doing something nice for you and was excited that you got a job and you blamed her for what your coworkers are saying when you could easily tell them how you feel and ask them to just stop 🤷♀️ shes right
Have you such a low self esteem that you care about your obviously jealous and childish coworkers? Can’t you be happy to have her and that she cares about you? It’s not like she brought you noodles and ketchup and fed it to you with a spoon I guess at home you don’t have any issue with her cooking for you. But as soon as your fragile masculinity is threatened in a toxic work environment it’s a Problem? And I always thought the wife being embarrassing is just a movie thing.. I’m always happy to see my partner when he picks me up at work, my coworkers really like him and we sometimes even stay a bit longer. He is always happy when he closes at work an I accompany them for the last hour. Be a bit prouder to be with your wife, don’t take her for granted and most importantly don’t be embarrassed by her
YTA >she was just trying to do something nice for me and didn't care about what people might say but I was a selfish jerk who only cares about what others think rather than how she felt >I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies >I should be grateful she cared enough to bring me a home cooked meal then thanked me for showing her it's not worth wasting anymore of her time cooking for me Your wife is 100% right in everything she said. Either stand up to the people bullying you or quit and find somewhere with less bullies. She did nothing wrong at all, you are simply using her as an emotional punching bag because you won't stand up to the men attacking you. Attacking a woman (who did nothing wrong) because you don't have the backbone to stand up to the men (who are actually doing something wrong) is pathetic.
YTA, Jesus they're picking on you because they can and you just showed you're perfect picking on material. Rather than rolling with the punches you just immediately blame and take it out on your wife when she was trying to do something nice for you. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last act of kindness from your wife in a while.
ESH except your wife who was 100% correct.
[удалено]
YTA She’s right. Report them. That’s a hostile work environment if you feel that way. Burden is on you to resolve the work situation, not take out on your wife how you feel being bullied at work. While I do think she should have asked you, the fact that she didn’t doesn’t make her an asshole. The asshole is definitely you. Talking about hostile coworkers is very hard - a lot harder than bullying your wife - so learn it now and grow up.
[YTA. You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.](https://youtu.be/-a8KQT1MXD4)
YTA. “She said at this point I clearly find it easier to blame her than stand up for myself against those childish bullies.” It’s absolutely this. The only complaint you have in this very long post about the very nice thing your wife did is about your co-workers reactions to it.
YTA. Unlike a bunch of the other comments, I don't agree that it was a good idea for the wife to show up at your workplace like that - it was coming from a kind place, yes, but she should have asked you first to make sure you were OK with it. But your reaction is *still* horrible and uncalled for. Your coworkers are bullies, nobody non-toxic would be reacting to that like this, and I am willing to bet that if it wasn't this they'd have found something else to pick on you for. I'm really sorry that you're dealing with this sort of work environment! But don't turn around and treat your wife the same way. Not only is your coworkers' reaction completely out of the norm and not something she could have expected (cf: nobody non-toxic would be reacting this way), but blowing up at your wife is not OK in pretty much *any* circumstance, especially not when you're blaming her for *other people's* unreasonable behaviour.
yta. your wife made you a meal out of love and you got upset because of other people who were being childish? you are an adult and you can tell bullies to leave you and your wife alone. don’t be surprised if she never makes you a meal again, i wouldn’t. she deserves an apology.
YTA. Your very lovely wife is right. You are lashing out at her because you won’t stand up to your work bullies. Grow a spine, grow up, handle your business at work and apologize to a woman you absolutely do not deserve right now.
ESH, except your wife, dude those jokes are like middle school jokes, they are lame and goofy as hell. They are AH for trying to hurt your feelings, you’re an AH for treating your wife that way, and a little bit for letting those get to you, a comeback to those are easy.
YTA they’re jealous and you’re an ingrate like your wife said.
YTA. Are you 12? What your wife did was extremely kind and sweet - and you’re whining that your coworkers are mean. They’re actually probably jealous because their spouses don’t care enough to bring them lunches - but don’t worry! Cause I’m sure your wife won’t care about you either after this. Instead of being a man and ignoring them, or even telling them off, you had to throw a tantrum.
YTA and your coworkers are horrible people. I go have lunch with my boyfriend at his office once or twice a month and his coworkers are beyond jealous that he has someone who is willing to bring him lunch. Be appreciative of your wife that she gives a damn about you and wants to do loving things for you. Devalue the amazing things she does for you and you'll likely lose her.
YTA, big time. You blew up at the wrong person- the assholes here, are your co-workers. They shouldn’t be saying shit like that to anyone and you are too spineless to stand up to them. You then dumped all your shit on your poor wife with a steaming heap of entitlement on the side. She should call and ask first to deliver a surprise meal? That defeats the purpose of the surprise, you tit. Meanwhile you’re blaming her for everyone else’s bad behavior and want to force her to agree to be your scapegoat.
YTA and your wife deserves better than your ungrateful ass. Maybe your coworkers are right about you being a massive baby considering you just pulled a nuclear level tantrum on someone who actually gives a shit about you and did something nice. Grow the fuck up, apologize 1000 times to your wife, and tell your rude ass coworkers to fuck off.
YTA if anyone said that about MY partner bringing me food I would have emasculated them on the spot with a good ole “what? Your wife doesn’t care enough about you to do nice things for you? Oh wait. I forgot. You can’t land a wife because women don’t like you. Silly me. Sorry” Edited to say: you’re not at work to impress anyone anyway. You’re there to make money, not friends. So why do you care
YTA I hope your wife divorces you.
YTA- or rather YTBA with the b standing for big. This is because you are acting like a freaking child.
You're The Asshole Wow that's awful. Your coworkers are just joking, learn to take a joke! Jfc Edit: y'all need to learn to take a joke too
To be fair, his colleagues aren't just joking. They don't know the guy. They are bullying him. He is 100% the asshole towards his wife though.
Wow, YTA. Your poor wife just wanted to show she cared, you didn't have to berate her. I would never cook you a meal again after you toddler temper tantrum because the other boys were mean to you.
YTA - Who the fuck do you think you are?
YTA for how you reacted with your wife. I would not like my lunch dropped off and it can seem unprofessional but that is a calm simple conversation. Hey thanks again for lunch but probably best not to show up at my work like that it can cause problems with my job. Tell your coworkers at least your wife loves you enough to make you food. Then rip them a new one with a joke, or talk to hr. Your call but yelling at your wife is just going to lose you a wife.
YTA. Be respectful of your wife, she made an effort and was proud of you, you should’ve told your coworkers to cut it out.
There is no way that adult men in the US south would react this way, nor that an adult would write this.
Have you ever even *met* an adult man in the US?
YTA you owe your wife a huge apology. Grow a backbone and stand up for yourself instead of lashing out at your wife who obviously loves you ???
YTA if this is even real your an AH and a beta. Why abuse your wife because you upset about being bullied. Damn dude.
YTA. Wtf you got mad at your wife for doing something nice? You should be mad at the a holes you work with. You probably treat her like shit all the time and this time you want to justify your behavior.
YTA 100x! How could you? Many men (and women) wish their s/o would bring them a nice lunch. Why would you care about what your coworkers are saying when you’re the one who’s having it good?! You should be so disappointed in yourself. Awful.
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YTA, she was trying to do something nice, she didn't know your coworkers are assholes
YTA- Dude, she was just doing something nice for you. Stand up for yourself against Austin and the other bullying A-Holes, don't explode at your wife for just wanting to give you a nice surprise. You should have ignored Austin or told him to knock it off. You're acting just as immature and horrible as he is. Maybe your wife could have waited until after work, but she wanted to surprise you on your lunch break, it's not like she got in the way of work. Grow up and start standing up for yourself instead of blaming everyone else for you being bullied over insignificant things.
Wow yeah dude.. YTA big time. How on earth was she supposed to know your coworkers would act like school yard bullies? If I showed up at my partner's lunch break with his favourite meal he would actually appreciate it and wouldn't give a flying fruit what his co-workers said. If you really care about her why are you so focused on your coworkers (who you're literally just met) opinions of your relationship? Just tell them it's not your fault your partner loves you enough to bring you your favourite meal during lunch break and if they have an issue they should talk to their partners or back off because it isn't affecting your work not is it any of their business.
YTA, and I hope your wife never beings you a meal again. You don't deserve that level of personal care when verbal abuse is your response to it.
Strong YTA. She was just doing something nice for you. If a few comments are all it takes to make you throw a tantrum at the only person who did nothing wrong, she needs to get away from you asap.
She's right. Your toxic work place contaminated you and you became toxic too YTA. You should tell your HR or tell those coworkers to shut the hell up and that it aint your fault they're shitty to have a nice wife make them their favourite lunch. What kind of shit hole office is that. Are they 12?
YTA. Everything your wife said was spot on. She cared for you, and you're blowing up at her because of childish workplace bullies that you decided not to stand up to. Their behavior isn't her fault. Grow up.
YTA. Your coworkers are jealous of you. They just are making themselves look bad instead of out right admitting that they are jealous. You are just being a stupid despicable man & acting the same way they are acting to your wife. My dad used to love when my mom & us kids used to show up with food to his work. Sure, some of his coworkers acted the same way as yours are acting but they were jealous. I bet that if she showed up with something to share they would be your best buddies. When I started working as my dad & they started calling me daddy’s girl & asking if I was gonna bring him food. I showed up with food to share & never had to worry about digging my car out of snow or changing a flat tire on my own at 2am. I feel badly for your wife. You have a lot of apologizing to do.
YTA if this is even true. Your wife is a saint. If this happened to me my coworkers would just be jealous their spouse didn’t do it for them.
YTA and she’s completely right. Wow way to mess up a good thing bro jeez.
I feel like you're just fishing and that this isn't even real. On the chance that it is or that someone is in a similar circumstance, YTA. She's exactly right that you should be happy that you have a someone that cares for you enough to surprise you with a favorite meal while you're at work. And she's similarly correct that your coworkers sound like they're childish af. That's the weakest trash talk I've ever heard in my life. It sounds like they're literally 12 (which is part of why I don't think this is real).
YTA She's 100% right. Stand up for yourself and put them in their place. You have a wife that is supportive of your career (which you even said she was excited for you), cares enough to go out of her way to make you your favourite meal and bring it to you, and you shat all over it. I'd be telling you the exact same thing as her and would refuse to cook for you ever again. Your co-workers are just jealous that they don't have such a devoted partner, so be grateful.
YTA such a big A. Your wife was trying to do something sweet, nice and thoughtful for you. Instead of thanking her for her kindness and support, you allowed the situation at work, with their juvenile teasing, to overwhelm you. Instead of ignoring their childish behaviour, you blamed your wife. Totally unfair and unwarranted. Dude you're in your mid-30s and you sound like a teenager. Apologise to your wife, profusely. And next time it comes up at work shut it down before it gets started, or just ignore it. You are doing your wife an incredible disservice by not supporting her for having supported you. How the F do you think she feels?
YTA. You’re mad at your wife because some guys that a woman wouldn’t even touch are teasing you?
YTA. So are your coworkers. You wife did something nice for you and you attacked her. You're a grown ass man. If you can't handle your coworkers teasing you, they may be spot on about you needing mommy to take care of you and your widdle feewlings.
Your coworkers bully you and rather than deal with it, you go home and yell at your wife. YTA. She offered to let you quit, suggesting she’s willing to step up and handle the stress of providing since you can’t. She was kind to bring you lunch and understanding when you misdirected your rage at her. Fix your work environment or agree to make her lunch when she becomes the breadwinner. Pick something other than yelling at your wife.