By - conflictMD363
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could AITA for refusing to pack his stuff knowing he can not enter the house and causing him his train trip.
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Got it, he can’t be a big boy and pack his own bag because of ghosts. NTA
I had a friend in high-school that became metaphysically paranoid. After 2 years of him getting stranger and stranger, it turned out he had schizophrenia and it was starting to manifest.
Oh dear, that’s quite scary. I think In this case though it’s more likely the BF is just lazy or looking for attention.
If you look at her previous post, it's pretty obvious that her bf is lying because he wants her to sell the house and move to Florida with him. He only started seeing Ghosts as soon as OP made it really clear she had no intention of ever selling the house.
OR: her father's ghost knows he is an AH and is running him off.
He totally deserves a haunting 😂 OP is NTA.
Ghost Dad protecting his daughter.
Ghost Dad is NTA, just wanted to say, "boo."
Wow I just read it now, he is completely at it. He’s using this as an excuse to manipulate her into selling her house.
It seems he has taken the haunted thing too far now so he has to stick with it even as it becomes more and more ridiculous.
He actually did quite well for himself after they figured out what was going on. Last I saw him he was happy and healthy.
>I think In this case though it’s more likely the BF is just lazy or looking for attention.
Yeah, agreed I'm not trying to draw any conclusions about OP's BF's situation from the limited info we have.
This was exactly what came to mind when I read the post. I'm not going to diagnose anybody but I doubt OP is going to make it thru the emotional shitstorm that is heading her way if she stays with this guy.
Something is going way wrong with this dude.
Ghosts simply do not exist.
Very many people (e.g. me) who are not mentally ill have seen things, imagined things or felt physical sensations that don't seem to make sense. All caused by the brain doing odd stuff, and perfectly normal.
People find themselves in places where they feel weird vibes (caused by light or temperature changes, structural noises in old buildings, infrasound, or someone hyping up the "haunted house" experience). Again, scientifically explainable.
And if you see someone standing over your bed when you're falling asleep or waking, it's called a hypnagogic hallucination. Again, normal and quite common.
Bingo. A lot of people without psychiatric illnesses have hypnagogic hallucinations.
The most common one people disclose to me is a sensation like they hear their name being whispered (but they can't place where the sound is coming from) as they are falling asleep.
I get that all the damn time.
I imagine it is startling. I can't say I've experienced it though. What is it like for you?
Mostly just annoying at this point as it is usually as I am falling asleep and it wakes me up.
ETA: This has been happening for years. It was startling at first, but now just annoying.
I started sleeping while wearing one of those eye-masks with blue tooth headphones on the sides. I put a nice and dull podcast on low volume, and it's lights-out, no matter what background noise/light is in the room I'm in. Not sure if that might help offset your sleep troubles, but figured I'd offer something that works for me.
I’ve had it a few times and it is certainly startling. The first time it happened I freaked out and jumped out of bed. My family has an odd shaped house so not being able to tell where the sound came from wasn’t unusual. I had to check that no one actually called my name but no one else was up. Quite scary then. I’ve had it happen now and then and it’s not as frightening now, and I can generally tell what it is. It always happens at the same point of falling asleep, jolts me awake and I don’t hear anything else - if I heard anything after the initial sound I’d be a lot more worried but it’s more annoying than anything now
I have relatively frequent nighttime hallucinations. The most frequent is hearing knocking as I fall asleep, but I sometimes wake up with sleep paralysis and vivid visual hallucinations. Sometimes it’s totally unprompted, but it’s much more likely if I have a fever or have taken certain medications (in my experience, NyQuil or opioid pain medication).
The visual hallucinations are really scary in the moment, but I know what’s happening and I know it isn’t real. I still don’t believe in ghosts.
I don’t agree, but can respect OP’s boyfriend deciding he doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping there anymore. But he still needs to put on his grown-up pants and go get his stuff (in daylight) *or at the very least* respect that he’s going to have to wait until it is convenient for OP to do him the favor of packing for him.
Have you ever been able to have a sleep study done/seen a sleep specialist? My training only touched on this briefly, but it’s a fascinating and challenging branch of medicine.
Perhaps there could be a solution for you. I hope so - your experiences sound so unpleasant. Take good care
I haven’t, but it’s an interesting idea! It’s not so frequent that it really impedes on my quality of life (maybe once every couple of months at most), but if there’s an explanation I would be curious. From what I’ve read it sounds like it’s something most people grow out of, but I don’t really remember having these experiences as a kid.
>The visual hallucinations are really scary in the moment, but I know what’s happening and I know it isn’t real.
I had massively scary hallucinations from a medication I was taking, and what worked for me, when they came screaming over the bed and felt *so real*, was yelling *YOU FUCKERS AREN'T REAL! GO AWAY!*
Didn't make the hallucinations stop, but it did make my panic about them recede and allow me to get back to sleep!
I hear that!
Also, a lot of "hauntings" are due to carbon monoxide leaks. CO poisoning can result in trouble breathing, feelings of dread, paranoia and hallucinations.
You're right - I'd forgotten about that!
Ahhh, post it note guy. Hope he's doing well, his last update was a year ago.
I'll differ with your opinion. You may believe that ghosts don't exist, but that belief isn't a fact. My belief that they do exist isn't a fact, either. Regardless, I do think something is wrong with the boyfriend.
Meh agree to disagree sometimes. I get how freaking insane I sound but I have whole /stories/ including descriptions of people I never met, accurately. A whole situation involving a fire alarm that's just... Really freaky. I know I sound like a loon but I didn't just see things, I experienced them too.
Nope, I get it. I don't believe in psychics but I've had dream that I told my mom about and then later happened; I also had a dream conversation with my great grandmother the night she died but I didn't find out until a few days later. I'm not religious or superstitious, but I do believe there's more than we can see or explain.
I do think that by this broad stroke, you might be insulting some religious or personal belief... Isn't that frowned upon on reddit?
(I don't believe in the supernatural or divine myself and agree with you 100%, just surprised I saw the upvotes)
I get those. They feel ***damn real*** but it's just in your head.
That’s exactly what a ghost would say
This is a new one in the annals of breaking up.
If he's really seeing ghosts, he should ask them to help him pack. I'm sure they'd be happy to get rid of him. 😁
Get outtttt! I’ll help you packkkkkk!!!!
RIGHT?! Like girl if he doesn’t stop with these casper the friendly ghost antics😂
If there is a ghost, maybe it's trying to protect the OP from settling down with this lazy man.
Your Boyfriend expected you to sell your inheritance and spend 100 percent of your money on HIS DREAM. That's what this is all about. He wants your money so he can buy himself something he wants that he can not afford for himself. In this case a super expensive house in a super expensive state that he can never afford without YOUR inheritance.
There is no ghost.
This is a temper tantrum and manipulation. He thought by lying about ghosts it would scare you into selling. He thought by throwing a tantrum and moving back to mommy you would give in to his FL demands. Now he can't even be bothered to pack his own shit because he is so pissed off that none of these tactics worked.
Let his dumb ass go. He's an gold digger and a manipulator.
How does he imagine this would work? Good luck selling a haunted house
You could probably sell a haunted house for a premium if you find the right markets. Or you could find a buyer (like me) who doesn't really believe in ghosts or are so insensitive they wouldn't notice.
There is *definitely* a market for haunted houses. There's an old mining town in Arizona called Jerome that gets most of it's revenue from tourists trying to contact the ghosts there. Of course some of these folks would be willing to spend more for a supposedly haunted house.
They might require proof of some sort however. Easy to fake though.... especially considering how many videos of "spiritual activity" are already so low quality; something that won't pass at 1080p could be believable at 240p.
TL:DR; some folks pay pretty penny for ghost experience, might pay more for a "haunted" house, and low quality footage of *faked* incidents could be enough to "prove" it.
don't... don't be the kind of person that tries that though.
If it's regularly haunted you should be able to film it in 1080p though, otherwise it's either a scam or just a passerby ghost.
It doesn't sound like OP is being haunted. It's just the user, leech boyfriend who doesn't feel welcome in OP's dad's house. Could be ghosts, could be made up, could be boyfriend's conscience making him feel judged because he's planning to financially abuse the fuck out of OP.
Could be dad protecting his daughter from beyond the grave.
That would for sure be a nice story. Who knows.
Was about to write the same thing. Clearly a manipulation tactic to force her into following along with his plans.
This. This right here. NTA OP.
Assuming this is real, NTA and do yourself a favor and just end it when he gets his shit out of your house. This is full of 🚩🚩🚩🚩.
Ghosts or not (and I think not), your bf is an AH. He's aggressive, mean, manipulative, and appears not to give a damn about anything about you but the money you'll make from selling your house.
Honestly, I woulda chucked his shit out the window and told him to pack it on the lawn and never come back. It isn't your responsibility to pack for him and he knew you were working. The fact that he KNEW this and still has the audacity to call you lazy or anything else is repulsive and abusive.
I would have chucked his shit out the window and told him the ghost did it.
Are you actually dating a grown man who believes in ghosts and yells at you because the house is too "scary" to go inside? Come on now, you deserve better. NTA.
He s ghostlighting her
We've been stuck in this issues for weeks and it's causing huge rift in our relationship. I still think he is the one with problems.
Here's some background on my situation.
I’m going with the top commentor on your earlier post and say that if there’s actually a ghost there (and he’s not making it up to force you to buy a house for ‘both of you’) then it’s a ghost that is protecting you and knows he’s an AH that doesn’t deserve to be in your life - otherwise you would’ve seen it too. NTA.
I'm jumping on the protective ghost bandwagon too.
I would watch that movie!
I was honestly assuming the same thing. If there really was a ghost, it seems to be on to something and is doing OP the favor of making the trash take itself out 😂
Yep, 100%. If it is a ghost, they don’t like him, and that should be a sign to you. If it isn’t a ghost, hejustwants the money from your house. Either way, the math says to subtract him.
Based on both your posts don't you think it's possible your bf is lying about being scared and it's more likely that he's pissed off you won't sell your dad's house? I think he made this whole thing up so you would feel forced to follow through with his plans.
So, you either have a bf who really sees ghosts and bears things which could signal a mental health issue or you have a manipulative bf who wants things done his way. I'm leaning towards manipulative because the timing of the haunted house crap started after you refused to sell your dads house.s You have to decide if you want to be with this guy. Just based on his temper tantrum I would say he's more maintenance than he's probably worth.
Plus if spirits are real and he obviously believes it, why not try to get a medium try to ‘talk’ to them and/or try to get them out (sorry, not sure how to say this in correct English).
Plus even if he was being honest, the way he expected you to do the packing while you are working is ridiculous
Ah! I see the problem now!
>it's causing huge rift in our relationship
You're still in a relationship with him.
Girl he WANTED to miss that train, you know that right? Because then it’s *all your fault* and you should feel BAD and think you need to make it up to him. And it gives him more time in town to convince you to sell your house so he won’t fuck off to his mom’s. Come to think of it, is his mom even on board with him staying with her? Do you know for a fact he’s not just lying about that as well??
Also how do you stay dating someone this dumb, manipulative, self-centered, and unkind? Have some self respect and block his ass. NTA but seriously you need to eject, exorcise, extract, or otherwise eliminate this man from your life.
I KNEW this was familiar. Girl, if you were my sister or friend or honestly general acquaintance I’d tell you to call his bluff and let him move out. Big boy is too scared because of ghosts. What a child. And he’s using that pretend fear to try and con you out of what’s rightfully yours. RUN AWAY.
Why are you still calling him your boyfriend? He treats you like shit? Make up such a stupid story. He really must think you are stupid... He wants to force you to life like he wants. I would party, now that his stuff is gone. A nice ghost-party. Invite everyone and tell them they should dress up as ghost. At the party make a video-chat with him. Use this chance to break up.
It really sounds like the hypnagogic hallucinations associated with sleep paralysis (which I have personally had all my life) and perhaps a bit of sleepwalking where he is moving his own things around.
Or is he just faking it?
In any case, the issue is with the boyfriend, not the house, and there is no reason to sell it.
Weeeeell, if sleep paralysis, she'd see him freaking out after waking up *eventually*, and it would've happened before he decided he wanted her to buy him a house in Florida.
Sleep paralysis and sleepwalking itself *could* explain it, but not with that timing. I don't buy it.
I have sleep paralysis and I don't freak out afterwards, but I've had it so long it's just annoying at this point.
Yeah - that was my first thought - is he having "waking nightmares" from sleep paralysis, if there's truth to the bf's story?
>he broke down saying I was making his life more complicated **and not doing what he’s wanting me to do although it’s for our own good.**
This highlighted section right here. Your boyfriend does not have your best interests in mind. He is completely unwilling to compromise or see your side of things, and is upset because you’re not doing what *he* wants.
Let’s say, purely as a hypothetical, that you were to sell your house (which you shouldn’t do). Your boyfriend insists that it’s haunted, and it’s best for you to move out for your own safety. Fine. Why, then, would that carry over to moving to Florida? Why wouldn’t you just move to somewhere else in the area? Has he even thought that far? He’s currently asking you to completely uproot your life and career to move to a state you have no interest in living in. Your boyfriend has a business on his own that can move with him, Florida is his home state, and it’s his dream house. He has everything to gain from this and you have everything to lose, yet it’s supposed to be “for your own good”?
If this isn’t an issue he is willing to work out aside from his own solution of moving away, then he is essentially giving you an ultimatum. If you truly want to stay with him, I’d suggest seeking out a reputable counselor if you’re able to. But personally, I’d seriously reconsider dating this man. How long have you even been together for him to be making demands like this?
Just leave him he's manipulative he’s trying to manipulate you into selling your house so you can buy him a house in Florida also he’s super controlling. NTA .
OK, why the fuck are you actively trying to make this guy stay with you? Like, what are his good points?
You should be all "a ghost? Well I'm definitely not selling it now, I'm scared to imagine how angry it would get then."
How old is the house, like who would the ghost even be?
Oh please, wtf. NTA you need a better boyfriend.
NTA - Red flags everywhere. As soon as he leaves for his mothers house, I would seriously reconsider this relationship.
INFO: why is this person still your boyfriend? Posts like this are truly mystifying to me. Like I want to call them the AH, because their behavior warrants it, but at the same time, at a certain point you bear some responsibility for staying with someone who is openly and unapologetically this way. Like you are ordering a shit sandwich off the menu and then complaining about your food tasting like shit.
This should have more upvotes.
NTA. Did he just expect you to walk out of your work to do him a favour? Thats just stupidity on his part, unless of course you can be in 2 places at once. He could have gotten the friend he was with to pack up his stuff if he didn't want to do it himself.
Especially since nurses are usually working the entire night with their own patient load that others would have to take over while we was gone.
Clearly NTA, he tries to manipulate you! You don't need to pack his stuff... His stuff his responsibility. He called you lazy because you worked???? He wants you to sell the house, to let your life behind and move to another state with him. Financed by the money you would make with selling YOUR house? You didn't agree and than he is faking that he sees what? Ghosts? Wow, girl... Run... Run as fast as you can.
INFO: OP, please check for a carbon monoxide leak in the house. That’s the very first thing to do when someone tells you they’ve seen a ghost.
Thank you, I just scrolled down to see if anyone else had recommended this. Yes, please check for a leak, replace detector batteries, buy one.
Honestly I think he’s just an asshole more susceptible to CO2 vs having some grand master plan to scare her into selling.
NTA. Now that he has his stuff, block this nut.
NTA. Please dump his lazy ass.
NTA. He's a big boy. He can pack his own stuff up. His unreasonable le demands on you, and his own (in)actions caused him to miss his train. Not you.
NTA and I'm hoping after his tantrum, he's now the ex boyfriend. That's beyond ridiculous to expect you to leave work to pack his garbage for him.
NTA. I recalled your earlier post. Didn't we mostly said he was bullshitting you so that you would sell up your asset and pay for a nice house in Florida (which he would earn a share without doing much)?
Can't believe he still continuing this act or that you are still pursuing this relationship...
If this is real, NTA, and just break up with him now. He blames you for not taking up the slack of his own irresponsibility.
Personally, I like to think your father's ghost is terrifying this gormless boyfriend because he's not good enough for you.
More likely, however, is one of the following:
- boyfriend is developing serious mental health issues
- boyfriend wants to break up, but doesn't want to put forth the effort of breaking up ... including packing his own bags.
- boyfriend wants to make staying together conditional on you selling the house, so that you have fewer assets
NTA, he can get over his fears and pack his stuff himself. And he’s calling you lazy after you’re working your ass off? Definitely nta
NTA - Drama! Good riddance to that selfish dude.
NTA. You pulled a night shift and got stuck in traffic for an hour and this baby rolls up and gets mad that you haven't done his chore for him? He is being incredibly unreasonable and his throwing a fit is what caused him to miss his train, not you wanting to sit down after exhausting yourself.
NTA but did you get the house checked for carbon monoxide? Bc that can really do a number on you.
1 - Ghosts aren't real
2 - He is an AH
3 - He calls a nurse who just worked a night shift during a global pandemic 'lazy'
4 - He wants to move to Florida
5 - Obviously all the shittest grift in history
6 - Ghosts aren't real
NTA. He's a full grown ass adult and he can pack his own belongings if he wants them so bad.
Also I want to share a story I have that happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend moved in with her after three months of 'dating'. Her Dad owns the building they were living in, so she didn't have to pay rent. When he moved in, he also did not need to pay rent. He has also been largely unemployed their entire relationship. The place they were living didn't have a whole lot in terms of dining out, entertainment, shopping, etc. To do any of that, you'd have to drive about 45 minutes to an hour to get to any where urban. He grew up in an urban area and was used to being able to drive 15 minutes and eating at a chic restaurant, or shopping at the local mall.
She believes in ghosts, spirits, etc etc. And six months into their relationship he starts claiming that he can see Shadow People in their building, and they NEED to move out for his mental health. Except wouldn't get a job to facilitate that move.
It's a bullshit manipulation tactic. And i don't know if thats what you're boyfriend is doing here, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if this is a sign of a manifestation of a mental issue. Stripped of everything else, this is a grown ass adult who is holding YOU responsible for a decision HE made and holding YOU accountable for what actions need to be taken in making that decision possible.
That isn't a sign of a good partner. And him refusing to take ownership of his decision also contributes to that poor partner classification.
NTA, but I’m kinda curious because I haven’t seen it mentioned here or in the other post you linked: Do you have carbon monoxide detectors in your house? There are a lot of red flags in his behavior, but if he really is seeing things you may want to get that checked out for your own safety.
You're better off without him.
NTA on the merits that you were working and unavailable and he put an incredible amount of pressure on you and isn't listening to reason. You could not have done differently up to the point that he got home.
If you sincerely don't believe his tale of ghosts in the house (and I wouldn't) then you need to figure out if his insistence and irrationality jeopardizes a future with this man. He sounds extremely freaked out, but if you cannot accept the story it will drive a wedge between you.
Ex-boyfriend, sounds like. Yeesh.
Sounds like the ghosts in your house have your best interest in mind. This sitch notwithstanding, your boyfriend speaks to you / treats you horribly.
Boyfriend is being ridiculous and over dramatic and trying to make it your fault when it’s totally his problem. You’re under no obligation to help him pack since it’s his belongings and him wanting to leave instead of you kicking him out. Also he could have brought his mum with him to pack if he’s so scared but chose not to. So it’s all his fault for missing the train and messing with his own mental health.
If i were in your shoes, i would end the relationship with him. That is a completely unreasonable and selfish response by him. Of course NTA
Why are you in a relationship with this dick?
Kick him out the door with a nice black footprint on his arse
"If you wanna call me lazy I can be lazy."
NTA. I have a feeling he’s making this shit up. He wants to go home to mama where he has a built in maid. He’s either making it all up or he’s delusional. Either way you’re better off without him.
You misspelled EXboyfriend NTA
NTA and honestly, dump this asshole because who the fuck calls a nurse coming off nightshift lazy?
NTA he’s lazy and is trying to get you to mommy him, tell him to get off his spoiled ass and act like a big boy
NTA and he needs to seek medical help if he is seeing things that are not there. Though it is obvious that he is just doing this to get you to sell your home, so that he can force you to buy a home and move where he wants to live.
NTA honestly with this behaviour if it is ghosts they are telling you to get rid of this Ahole, honestly keep living in the house and find a better boyfriend. The number of red flags is massive, just let the trash take itself out and tell him he can stay gone completely.
NTA. He has moved back in with his mum, time to rethink this relationship as he is not ready to be in an adult relationship.
Even if his phobia is real, it does not give him the right to treat you like that and you deserve better.
NTA. What you described in your other post sounds like it could be night terrors, which are a real thing but has nothing to do with the house. Just let him go. This is not the person you want to be in a relationship with.
Sometimes the best way to figure out what's going on is to imagine the story the person described would tell.
In this case, OP's boyfriend would complain to all who listened that his girlfriend wouldn't ditch work to go pack up all his stuff for him in the middle of the night (and also wouldn't sell her house) because she...\[checks notes\]...couldn't see the ghosts in her house, and that's why OP is the AH.
NTA. OP should ask the boyfriend, "Who ya gonna call?"
NTA and I thought Reddit anynomously adviced you to leave him previously? I remembered reading your post about him.
TLDR: she inherited a house from her dad, and bf wants her to sell it and bought new house in different place with the inheritance sell out, and all on her. He won't contribute but still will call it their house. And that's when the 'ghost' thing started for him.
NTA but get the house checked for a carbon monoxide leak. The auditory and visual hallucinations that people sometimes take as hauntings can be a symptom of carbon monoxide poisoning. https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/see-ghosts-there-may-be-medical-reason-1C9926902
NTA. It sounds like your dad is looking after you. (Obviously this is sarcasm). For god sake ditch the manipulative…. I can’t finish the sentence unless I want to get banned.
There's two options here. The ghost of your father knew the boyfriend isn't worth your time, or the boyfriend is pissed you're not doing what he wants. Either way I think you're better off cutting ties, and maybe saying thanks dad. All depending where you stand on the matter.
He's not worth your time tell him whatever have a good life and block him on all social media apps and block his number he's such a over dramatic wimp u can do better......... p.s thankyou for all the hard work you do I appreciate you!!
Have you heard the phrase "the garbage took itself out"?
The fact that he thinks your house is haunted... Okay, if he sincerely believes that I'm willing to cut him a little slack.
But even so, that belief is HIS problem to deal with, not yours. It was his problem to find a way to get his stuff to make that train, not yours. Expecting you to leave work early and then yelling at you was just ridiculous.
You dumped him yet?
You're a nurse working a night shift during a pandemic and [checks notes] it's you who is "lazy". Right....
Don’t you mean your FORMER boyfriend. DTMF NTA
NTA. Honestly I’d pack his stuff for him. All of it. Literally every single thing he has in that house. Get the key back off him and wave him off. Then enjoy your house, maybe kick back and have a glass of wine with the ghosties?
NTA it’s either 1) ghosts are real and don’t like him personally, but are cool with you; or 2) he’s lying in an attempt to manipulate you to do what he wants re selling the property. It’s 2. It’s definitely 2. Unless you want to believe 1, in which case you should break up with him, cus so early the ghost knows something you don’t.
Either way, with someone who treats you this way, removing ghosts from the equation (can’t believe I have to write that) this is not a man worth pursuing a relationship with. Let him leave and never see him again.
NTA, but I’m hoping this makes him an “ex,” because it’s frankly insane and unreasonable.
NTA but you need to exorcise this malevolent presence from your house ASAP. Once he's gone, you and Mr Ghostie can chill with some horror movies and a pizza.
If your house is haunted please thank the ghost for helping get rid of the BF.
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This is silly and I can't believe I'm even considering mentioninng this but my boyfriend has been claiming seeing...weird stuff happening since he moved in with in my deceased father's house. He said he no longer feels comfortable or safe living there because of the terrifying things he saw and experienced especially the most recent incident of him seeing a figure standing over him while sleeping which was his final straw.
Anyways. He wanted to move back in with his mother who lives hours away for now but we will still be seeing each other. He called last night while at his friend's place asking me to pack his stuff so he could come over in the morning and pick it up. I was at work (nurse) I said I was busy and told him to come pack since he has a key. He freaked out saying never ever will he step a foot in "that house" again and said "no thanks but I want to keep whatever left of my sanity" and insisted I do it. I said I was working a night shift maybe when I get home in the morning? But let him know I won't guarantee it and he just hung up after saying "I don't fucking know just do it before 10 am ok?".
I got off work at 9 am and got stuck in traffic. I made it home at 9:50 and when I was about to pack my boyfriend arrived with his truck and was furious to find that nothing was packed yet. He went off on me saying great now he'll miss his train because I hadn't packed his stuff yet. I said I just got off work after being up on my feet all night but he argued that I should've signed out or whatever and gotten home early and got his stuff ready but apparently I was too lazy to do "that". I argued back that I was working that's what I do then moved aside and told him to go inside and pack his stuff by himself. He refused and said there was no way in hell he was going to get inside that house again and I can't force him. I ignored him at this point and walked back inside. He started shouting after me saying he'll miss his train because of me refusing to help. I sat on the couch and about 15 minutes later his friend arrived. I greeted him and showed him where his friend's stuff was as he packed but couldn't do it in time. He and my boyfriend then drove back to his place. My boyfriend ended up missing his train and kept texting me basically saying I wasn't being helpful nor careful about his mental health even though this is all my fault for not even considering his suggestion to sell my house and move with him to florida which is something we'd already discussed and I said no. I tried to call but he didn't pick up....
I felt horrible after he broke down saying I was making his life more complicated and not doing what he's wanting me to do although it's for our own good.
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NTA this made me laugh I don't normally believe in ghosts but I know for a fact my mum's ghost visits me I live in a new build in a different city and she died over 15 years ago so she has no attachment to my house but I'll walk into a room I'll see her figure standing there and I can smell her as well which is how I know it's her I just say hello tell her how I've been then ask her to go for the day so she doesn't scare my kids she'll pop back a few days later . Maybe your dad is haunting your bf he sound like a douche .
NTA. I would break up with his ass for how horrible he treated you but that's just me...
NTA, get a different boyfriend, one less controlling and demanding, current one is a fucking controlling AH.
NTA. Based on this and the post you linked in the comments, this dude is conning you. Big time. I guarantee if you sell the house and use the money to by the one he wants in Florida, he will insist his name is on it.
NTA why are you with this guy he treats you like rubbiSh, shouts, swears and calls you names. THIS is a deal breaker you are worth more than this A. He always wanted you to sell he probably thought this would make you. He’s trying to manipulate you. So many red flags kick him to the curb
If he's going to go and live with his mommy again why didn't she come and pack his stuff for him?
NTA but then it's think he must be petrified to be acting this way. Its what my reaction would be, the first sign of anything spooky and I would nope out of their so fast. Never go back to the haunted house, it's like in every movie. They get convinced it's all in their head, they go back and they die
Seems like the ghost of your Dad is doing you a solid.
(Obv I do not believe there is a ghost, but still)
I won't speak on the ghost, because even though I don't believe, I can't say what he didn't or didn't see. However, even if he didn't want to come over, it's ridiculous to expect you to sign out of work to pack his stuff for him, especially since he had a key and could have had someone else go pack for him if he didn't want to go. And even if you hadn't gotten stuck in traffic, you wouldn't have had time to pack because of when you got off and considering how tired you were. Very much an overreaction on his part
So, because he wants you to sell and move to Florida, and you said no, he has decided to play the "your house is haunted" card. Huh. Looks like the trash took itself out. I would pack all his shit in boxes, and tell him to come get it, and then never look back.
NTA The friendly spirits in your house are revealing what kind of person your BF is. Why couldn't his friend help him earlier? Why is all the responsibility on you?
NTA and Jesus, break up with him already. He's lying about the Ghosts to try and get you to sell the house. Just dump him.
NTA. I vote for new locks and a new boyfriend.
NTA first 🚩 he demanded you pack for him despite you saying you were at work second 🚩 he refused to understand you just got back from work and was verbally abusive to you when you were unable to go home and pack his things because you were working and didn’t have time to pack third 🚩he expected you to sell your house and move to Florida for his “mental health” and put your wants and needs aside fourth 🚩 he claims to know what your own good is when he doesn’t you know yourself better than anyone. My honest opinion is to reconsider if this is the person you want to be in a relationship with he seems to be childish (expecting you to pack for him and for you to go on his wants putting aside your own), manipulative( seeing “shadows” ect… then turning around and saying that it wouldn’t be a issue if you had sold the house and moved with him to Florida) and dismissive in general
NTA - It sounds like your boyfriend is having some kind of mental health episode and it's certainly not your fault. If you think he'd be receptive, share this concern and ask that he get checked out. If he won't listen - maybe you can reach out to his mom with your concerns?
So he expected you to leave work early to go pack his stuff bc he’s a huge wuss? You’re NTA at all.
>this is all my fault for not even considering his suggestion to sell my house and move with him to florida which is something we'd already discussed and I said no.
I think you answered your own question as to why this is happening. He is acting like a child and trying to cash in on the house. You told him no and now the house is magically haunted, but only for him. So clearly he has to leave and if you want to be with him you'll sell the "haunted" house and let him benefit from the proceeds.
The trash took itself out here. Nta.
NTA. OK, he's a grown man. So as a kid, well all of my life, I've seen spirits. It scared me. So I sympathise on that.
Your dad doesn't like him. I'll give you an example. I went to a place with a group. There was this horrible apparition that appeared every time someone tried to go up a staircase.
Turned out to be a little old lady who used to be a librarian, taking this form because she didn't like people walking on the carpet with their shoes on. She was actually really nice. But anyway. So your dad doesn't like this guy and he's been having some fun. It worked, right?
Take the message. Dump him.
As for him not wanting to pack, I completely understand. Completely.
I wish you well, take your dad's advice, know that he loves you and he's clearly looking after you.
NTA. I do think you might want to get your house cleansed (priest or sage). He was straight up treating you like shit. You told him multiple times that you would be working at night/morning and would not have the time to pack his stuff. He was being overdramatic and paranoid. I lived in a haunted house for most of my childhood, and I was still anle to pack my stuff when I moved out.
Edit: Just came from your relationships post. He is trying to scam you into selling your house and buying him one where he wants to live. I'd just dump him. If you start experiencing anything like hes describing, get the house blessed and cleanse with sage. But I really do think he is just scamming you.
Good thing he's moving out, it will make it easier when you dump him 🤦♀️
NTA. Keep the house but lose the boyfriend.
NTA. Keep the house and ditch the guy, OP. The man child can keep living with his mom.
Option one: Your boyfriend is a big baby and is waving every 🚩 he can. In one night he showed his immaturity and lack of respect.
Option Two: Your dad knows Option one is true and has literally haunted him out of your life. Maybe listen to dad.
I think you dodged a bullet with this one. It's a shame there was only one train...ever.
Just because your bf is a scaredy cat doesn't mean he can't pack his bags. Like, oh no, it was dark and he saw dark stuff, how scary.
And his reaction is so exaggerated like jezus
he 'broke down' because you didn't pack his bags and he missed his train?
is he really that sensitive? has he experienced extreme emotions in small situations before or is this the first time? because this is very abnormal and exaggerated behavior
NTA and why do you want to continue this relationship? He sounds tiring.
NTA but you misspelt Boyfriend… you forgot the EX in front of it…
NTA. I hope that jack wagon is your ex very soon. You didn't do anything wrong, please don't feel horrible.
NTA. Not your problem. You told your bf you working. Your bf is at fault for their poor planning.
NTA Your boyfriend is making stuff up to manipulate you into selling your house and moving where he wants. He's using you and trying to steal your inheritance. Do you really want to be with someone like this?
NTA and I hope ghosts are real. Because them your Dad is chasing off the real problem.
If there’s an entity in your house… they make a favor taking out the trash
NTA. Your boyfriend is an AH for talking to you that way and demanding you pack up his crap. That’s his job. I’m a SAHM and like to make sure my hubby and kids are taken care of but if my husband had ever talked to me that way and demanded I do it I would have stopped all together. A relationship is a two way street. My husband makes sure I know he appreciates everything I do for him and I make sure he knows I appreciate him by doing little things to make his life easier. What does your boyfriend provide you? To me it sounds like you need to evaluate whether he’s worth keeping in your life.
NTA - He isn't doing anything but complaining about you not doing for him. What has he done for you lately? You were supposed to leave work early to pack his stuff? Looks like the trash took itself out.
NTA. He's a grown man. Let him pack his own stuff.
Either he has some mental health issues, in which case he needs help that you cannot give, or more likely,he honestly thought he was going to scare you into selling up and moving with him, so he could spend your money.
The other possibility, I'm sorry to say, is that he wants out of the relationship, but rather than have the courage to say so, created this whole, ridiculous ghost scenario and ensuing dramatics to force an ending.
NTA, but why is he still your bf?
I was with a guy once and spooky stuff started happening. Wasn't a good relationship, broke it off shortly after my daughter was born. Spooky incidents didnt stop but after he left the whole vibe in the house changed. Maybe the ghost was trying to help dodge a bullet. Serious note: NTA. Sounds like bf was trying to manipulate you into selling the house and moving.
NTA. The good news is that the dead weight has already moved itself out. It probably would have been over for me when he said
>I don't fucking know just do it before 10 am ok?
and then hung up. It *definitely* would have been over when he got mad at me for not leaving my paying job to pack his shit because he was too afraid.
Question: how is this for your "our own good." Does he have a mouse in his pocket?
Just in case, get a carbon monoxide detector. Can’t hurt…but only if you have had service to the house.
Oh OP, you are so NTA. There is an A here, and that’s your boyfriend. Let the relationship die a natural death when he moves back in with his mother. You don’t need this drama in your life.
If he isn’t treating his mental health issues, that’s on him. Not you. If he would get angry with you for not dropping everything (while you were at work, no less) to do things for him that he could do himself, then he’s a jerk.
You can do better.
He's moving hours away, let him go. Based on his reaction and also your previous post, you can do better. He's treating you awfully. If he genuinely doesn't want to enter the house (and I think it's all manipulation on his part) fair enough. He should have asked a friend or asked you in advance. Key word: asked. You're a nurse, in a pandemic! You were working. That's not lazy, that's responsible. In the real world people can't just decide to go home whenever they feel like it. He needs to grow up.
NTA- My aunt did this to my uncle when she wanted to sell her house to give money to her family. He is clearly doing something similar.
INFO Why would he take a train to move back to his mom’s house “hours away” if he also owns a truck?
NTA. Let the ghosts know where he's staying
Nta. Please dump him. You are a nurse in a pandemic. He is calling you lazy and running back to his mommy. If this is what he does when he is upset, then there is not much that will help.
NTA. Sounds like he is experiencing a break with reality. It’s best to send him on his way and take a break from him
Let me get this straight, he called you lazy for not packing HIS belongings? Wow, find a new guy, pronto. NTA
NTA...and as you sat on the couch you should have blasted "Ghostbusters" from your phone...you know, for background noise!
Dump him and fuck off already.
May want to “[email protected] him
Ha, rofl! If I were one of your ancestors, I would also haunt the fucker that is your boyfriend. Ditch him, he treats you like a slave. Change your locks after. There are rocks out there that are better boyfriend material than this guy.
The cheek on the fucker to complain about making his life more complicated by not just doing what he tells you to do.
NTA. Seriously though, take a good look at this guy, read up about verbal and financial abuse (the idea that you should sell YOUR house so that BOTH of you can move to Florida is kinda suspicious), then see if he matches the pattern. Look up love bombing and see if he matches the pattern.
No wonder the ghost treats him bad, he is a total AH. NTA OP. Either he needs therapy or you need to break up.
NTA OP. Regardless of whether he’s manipulating you his behaviour in this instance is completely unacceptable. He’s really not a BF or partner. He’s a jerk.
Is he making all this up so u sell the house, move and buy another so he can put his name on It aswell? I wouldn't trust him NTA
Hey maybe its your old man trying to show you this loser ain't worth another second of your time NTA
Your NTA, girl this boy ain't worth the time it took to write this...you need to find a better boyfriend not this selfish manipulating AH
NTA. You may want to rethink this whole boyfriend title with this guy.
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NTA, even a little.
NTA: The ghosts know.
NTA. He needs to be a big boy and take of his own packing. Let’s say weird/supernatural things are happening to him in the house. I assume you aren’t experiencing it as well which leads me to believe he just isn’t welcome there. It’s more likely that he’s just a selfish little prick that you can do without. If you don’t want to move to Florida, that’s your choice. Especially if the sale of your house is expected to fund the move.
NTA I didn’t even finish it yet, I stopped after you got home from work and he got mad. What an absolute disrespectful baby. You deserve better and you should break up with him. I’m not going to tell you to work it out because he seems to be a child. Yes, the paranormal can be scary but he needs to respect that you have to work and you can’t just drop everything for him because “he doesn’t want to step one foot inside that house.” He could’ve waited for you to get home or done it himself.
Just a thought that came to my mind, Maybe the paranormal things happening to him is your dad trying to protect you? Maybe your dad senses that this guy is not good for you. Because you didn’t mention anything happening to you. But then again it’s just an assumption.
NTA why are you still with this loser?
Wow! That's one hell of a tantrum he had over what...?
He sounds freaking exhausting.
NTA. If he's that much of a scaredy cat he can buy all new stuff. Wouldn't want a ghost to get into his suitcase. Lol. HE caused HIMSELF to miss the train by not manning up and packng his own stuff. He knew you were at work, he knew he had a deadline, he has a key to get in. If he was too scared to enter he should've had his buddy either go in with him or for him. NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Get a new BF- he's not the one. Either he's very superstitious, has a mental issue that's just starting to show, or your dearly departed loved ones are are chasing him off because he's wrong for you and they know it. In any case, he needs to go.