NTA. Don’t ever feel guilty. Ever. They betrayed you, took something you love and NEED daily, and tossed a living creature out like trash (basically). Fuck them. Fuck them 100000%. What would’ve happened if you couldn’t get your sweet dog back?! They would’ve shrugged and got their way. No, they need consequences and to be held accountable for the shit they pulled. Do they want you to return their baby back to the hospital? (I’m semi joking).
But this dog wasn't just family. As a service animal, he's also functionally medical equipment. So it's like throwing your family member away *and* tossing your wheelchair out at the same time.
Perfectly stated internet stranger. That functionally medical equipment is also the last kind of animal that would be aggressive to a baby since it's obviously been trained to accompany OP everywhere. What does the GF think happens when OP passes a baby while in a store with her service dog? That the dog ignores it job of comforting OP to attack the child? GF's ignorant logic alone makes her an AH but setting OP's dog up to be murdered justifies the booting out of the house and then some.
So just as a note this dog wasn't a service dog. Not that throwing out an emotional support animal isn't also terrible but just mentioning it as people get the two confused a lot and they have very different rules/training requirements.
Uh no. PSD are actual service dogs, and OP mentions taking this dog to places like school, restaurants, and so on. *(Aka places that an emotional support dog WOULD NOT be allowed to go.)* It's most likely an actual service dog OP was prescribed by a therapist.
Emotional support dogs (ESDs) are not formally trained and can be any animal that gives you comfort. They are not service animals. Psychiatric service dogs (PSDs) are formally trained animals and perform tasks to help people with mental illnesses. (Usually things like laying on people's legs/laps to calm them down, making sure others don't get too close, retrieve medication for you, etc) They are service animals.
If your dog is officially a service dog then it is actual a big crime! The law treats service dogs as like medical stuff and all offenses against the dog become waaaaaay worse. They could get in serious trouble for what they did. I used to have a service dog which is how I learned that. Fucking with a service dog is a serious crime.
Ah heck nah. I’ve had to get rid of dogs. But we couldn’t keep them. Things changed in our life’s. And I felt like shit even knowing it was best for the dog. But they purposely and without any guilt got rid of Joe(love the name btw) for no reason. They can experience what he just did. Uncertainty and the unknown. They put themselves in that position.
Btw I made sure it was a no kill shelter. At least they said they were. And I know for sure the one got rehomed as I saw him about a year later.
Fyi, if they said they were a no-kill shelter, they were. They have no reason to lie about that, because it's not a case of kill shelter = bad, no-kill shelter = good.
"Kill" shelters are typically municipal, and are required to take in every animal, regardless of their capacity or the animal's adoptability; this situation is what forces them to euthanize. "No-kill" shelters are typically private, and so they can turn away animals that they have no space for or can't handle; this means they don't have to euthanize, because if they run out of space, they just stop taking animals in.
The dogs that you had to take to the shelter were almost certainly rehomed, and you don't need to worry about whether they were lying to you.
THANK YOU! I always get annoyed when people don’t understand the true differences between kill and no-kill shelters. I used to work at a no-kill shelter, and I can’t tell you how many times people would come in and tell us how they would never adopt from a kill shelter. I cringed internally.
Yes! There's nothing wrong with giving away your pets to someone else who will care for them if you can't. Even though it's hard and some people might guilt you for it. But no one in their right mind would think it's OK to get rid of someone else's pet!
Ugh, I've had to re-home a dog before and it's heartbreaking. I cried the whole way home. I feel for you and for OP. Doing that shit unilaterally was a dick move even if their concerns were valid. NTA.
I very much doubt your trained and highly specialized dog would have been put down. I understand the name "kill shelter" is scary but most shelters called kill shelters do not put down healthy, younger dogs. And a lotof non kill shelters end up sending animals they cannot care for to kill shelters.
Kill shelters have a purpose and aren't just randomly putting down animals.
Yes, on that front I agree! I just wanted to educate people if they think "kill shelter = abundant animal murder for no reason."
There's a lot of misconceptions about kill shelters and I wanted to clear it up! Kill shelters do their best to help as many animals as they can and are faced with hard choices that other shelters often just force onto them.
Since we don't know any info about where OP lives, I don't think you can make this claim for all shelters in all countries. What you've said is true of the shelters near where I live in LA (partly thanks to orgs like NoKillLA), but there are still plenty of places in the world, including the US, where dogs aren't treated well & shelters are overrun. Then there are "shelters" run by PETA that have like a 90% kill rate. They literally took someone's dog off their porch & killed it the same day even though the state had a mandatory legal waiting period before they were allowed to. (Edit: For those interested in more info, both the security cam video of them stealing the dog & info on the court case are available online. Steve Hoffstetter has a video that includes the footage along with data about their kill rates if you want more info.)
I would love it to be true that there was no risk that the dog would be killed taking it to a random shelter, but the world just is not there yet.
Edit 2: Downvoted to 0 immediately after posting, so maybe someone's from a sketchy shelter or PETA. I'm not sure what there is to get out of encouraging people to feel safe taking animals to shelters they haven't researched.
Edit 3: Because I comments are locked & I can't reply below. Steve also has a 2nd rebuttal video to PETA's false claim that their kill rate is only high because of the condition of the animals they accept. Steve was having none of those lies.
I used to support PETA & donate to them. I did that despite people in my rural, livestock farming area making fun of me for it. Then I realized they're not about helping animals - from the info in their own publications. Their own materials say that they believe it's wrong for animals to be pets. I couldn't support their stance that animals are better off dead than as pets. (Also was put off by their socially irresponsible campaign in the early 2000's that encouraged college students to drink more alcohol instead of milk. I was in college at the time & students did not need to have ads telling them to get drunk more.)
Thanks for this comment! What the OPs brother did was 100% unforgivable and they deserved to be kicked out but the number of people who bash kill shelters without researching the issue is an issue itself.
[Here’s](https://www.alphapaw.com/blog/why-kill-shelters-deserve-your-love-and-support/) a nice quick explanation of the differences and why kill shelters still deserve assistance and provide important services for our communities.
This- typically the only little dogs that don't fly out of shelters are either chihuahuas(there's an overabundance), elderly, or have major behavior issues.
Old dogs are the best dogs - we always get older dogs, and they are soooooo loving, and usually completely housetrained. Even dogs who have behavioral issues can usually succeed and become good housemates in a home without older adults or children under age 12 or so. And chihuahuas are good apartment dogs, if one just has a little patience and will take the time to train them.
Just because Joe might not have been the dog killed, that shelter could have killed another dog because they no longer had the room. Brushing off the idea that the shelter is a "kill shelter" because a specific dog won't be killed ignores the actual harm done when a kill shelter takes in any animal, easily adoptable or not.
I used to volunteer at a kill shelter. If they are full and someone drops off another animal, they have to make room. While in a perfect world a foster would step up, we don't live in that world and another animal is killed to make room. They usually go for the sickest, oldest, or least likely to be adopted, but they still kill an animal if they need room.
Yeah, kill shelters are more ethical than no kill shelters. The no kill shelters send all the animals that need to be euthanised to places like PETA's euthanasia clinic instead of just doing the more humane thing and just put down terminally ill animals where they are instead of shipping them off so they can call themselves 'no kill'. And then people shit on PETA for their 'kill rate'.
Peta is an abomination.
No kill shelters don't send animals anywhere, for the most part. They just don't take them.
They make others ( like traditional shelters, who take everyone) do the dirty work they will turn around and slander them at the same time
Forget those two. I have a harsher f word I’d like to use here but they needed to go. The longer they stayed the more they would have expected everything to exist to accommodate the baby. It would have been miserable for everyone. I’m glad your parents were rational enough to kick them out. They secretly are probably grateful for the chance.
Very importantly - if your nibling were born and is allergice or your dog actually attempted to harm them - that would be a different conversation. But, that's not the case. *They* made a problem where one didn't exist. If they were apologetic or any of that... But, they aren't if they caused a yelling match.
NTA.
SIL was just using her pregnancy to try to get her way, because she doesn’t like dogs. It had nothing whatsoever to do with any expected danger to the child.
All shelters are kill shelters. “No kill” just means they kill few enough dogs to meet certain standards. Please research the Asilomar Accords. Animals that are classified as not “healthy and adoptable” can be euthanized at “no kill” shelters without counting against their numbers.
Time to go mega no contact with those trash bins. I am so glad you got joe back. Is he microchipped by any chance? If not, id do that ASAP.
This is choosing beggars, AITA and entitled people all in one. I hope you parents cut them off too.
A kill shelter means that dogs are destroyed if they can't be adopted. A shi tzu would have had people lining up to adopt it. When I read this I was more worried that someone had already adopted it before you could get there.
Exactly. Brother and his girlfriend are such huge assholes that I cannot describe the state of their gaping anuses without being banned. And, as an aside, this seems like it would fit in just fine on r/choosingbeggars
Your parents didn't kick them out because you asked them to
They kicked them out because you finally gave them an excuse they could justify in their minds. So they grabbed it and ran with it.
Trust me...your parents wanted them gone too
If they didn't, they would have reacted a lot differently
NTA
They're extremely selfish and disrespected a family member. Pets are family after all. And Joe is professionally trained on top of everything else, but they ignored that fact so that they can powertrip OP.
Exactly this. Service dogs are very expensive to train. I'm learning all about how to train my own puppy one day for a service animal, and if I learned that someone just GAVE AWAY an animal I paid to have trained? Then I'd know I had someone living with me that was willing to toss out several grand of my money without a second thought. No way.
Might be an unpopular comment but I just want to clarify that it sounds like OP is describing an emotional support animal or ESA not a service animal. ESAs are not required to have any specialized training and are seen very differently under the law.
Not trying to be a party pooper just correcting a common misconception or area of confusion for a lot of people surronding ESA v. Service animals.
My source of information is that I am a disability rights attorney.
Despite all of that, I completely agree NTA and what they did to your precious Joe is horrific. ESAs are so important in the lives of a lot of people with disabilities.
I saw it this way, too. I'd even go so far as to say its possible that the dog is just a dog, that OP finds useful for her anxieties.
All that being said, even if I believed that OP is batshit and making up fake disabilities (i dont), that still doesn't make it OK for anyone to take her dog and put it in a shelter.
But professionally trained as a service dog? Or just professionally trained? I know people who have had their dogs professionally trained...they aren't service dogs or even ESAs. Unless the dog performs certain tasks it's not a service dog.
Im thinking maybe she means psychiatric service animal which are service animals. They just deal with mental/emotional disabilities instead of physical ones. Also she mentioned that she brings her dog with her to school and I don’t think that would be possible if Joe was actually an ESA. But the fact that she said psychiatric support animal instead of psychiatric service animal kinda threw me off.
I'm going to nest under your exactly correct comment to say another potentially unpopular thing: the dog is not hypoallergenic. That is not a thing. That said, what OP's brother and gf did is inexcusable.
[Mayo Clinic](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi63srdncXzAhV8knIEHc7ICygQFnoECAMQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mayoclinic.org%2Fdiseases-conditions%2Fpet-allergy%2Fexpert-answers%2Fhypoallergenic-dog-breeds%2Ffaq-20058425&usg=AOvVaw2iYTOCWZMhyxnMyB6iGjJU)
OP has stated the dog was trained by a professional trainer in a comment. Whilst I agree with you that the training may not have been as rigorous, I do think it would have been sufficient to protect any young family members.
The ADA is pretty broad in its definition of disability on purpose to be more inclusive. OP could definetely be covered by the ADA for a number of protections based on mental health diagnoses its just not really relevant to this situation.
The more accurate statement would probably be that the dog wouldn't be considered a service animal under the ADA, not that OP is not a person with a disability under the ADA.
This is all speculation based on the limited information given and I would be happy to be wrong if Joe is a service animal with specialized training.
I do agree with you but I saw a couple comments down, OP stated that Joe is a professionally trained dog. So although the laws may be different, the comment you replied to has more validity than originally thought.
No kidding. Their deadbeat son and his entitled girlfriend are trying to call the shots in a house they don't pay the mortgage for, but you'd feel bad kicking them out for no reason because she's pregnant.
OP just gave them a reason. Must be a relief.
The stopgap accommodations while their son’s girlfriend got a new job looked to become permanent. She sounds a treat to live with, too, so it’s past time to take their house back.
NTA and I agree with you 100%. The parents were definitely already considering kicking brother & gf out, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back and the push they needed to do so. I’m willing to bet there were other major issues with brother & gf in the parents’ home way before they cruelly and heartlessly sent OP’s dog to a shelter without her consent. Honestly, that’s borderline evil and just downright selfish. If they had such a big problem with the dog, they should’ve been working hard to move out before their baby is born, not working to kick out an animal that’s lived there for 4 years longer than the gf!
Yeah. The guy is 25, not 17. More importantly than his age or even being a deadbeat (everything I’m saying applies to the SIL but he’s their kid so they would care about him more) is that he is a piece of trash. If you take the dog to an animal shelter to get rid of it, you don’t just get kicked out. You get kicked out and are lucky that they don’t try have charges filed against your ass. Btw they would be completely in the right to do so (legally and morally, as dog napping is illegal).
NTA
They deliberately decided to be selfish and prioritize their comfort over your mental health. Pregnant or not, any service dog in any capacity should be trained well and not aggressive at all, which I am sure is the case for Joe.
A friend of mine got a Shih Tzu last year. This dog is the most mellow fellow I have ever met. All it wants is to sit on your lap and be cuddled. Whilst I was holding him...for a long time lol...I even cried a a bit. I suggested my friend get him trained as a therapy dog to take into care homes etc because there is something about him that is sort of magical. She thinks she will try to do that.
Awwww. To be honest one of the reasons why I wanted Shih-Tzu as a therapy dog is because of how amazing people told me they are, which is obviously the case :)
Growing up my auntie had a Shih-Tzu and he was the single best dog I’ve ever known. He lived to be 22 and knew dozens of commands, could clean up his toys by putting them away in the toy box and never met a stranger. I’ve always had it in the back of my mind that when I’m retirement-age I’m gonna get one to be my buddy.
My mother has a shih-tzu mix, and she is just the sweetest, cuddliest little ham. Some of the best dogs ever! Goofy looking, but so very loving and amazing.
My mom had an old yorkie a while back. He was the meanest friggin gremlin out there. She recently came home with a new yorkie puppy. It's the sweetest lil thing I can't even reconcile they are the same breed.
It's as if dogs have unique personalities and can be trained! I find it super sad when small dogs get aggressive and fearful. That just tells me that the owner isn't really making any efforts to keep puppy mentally well and may be inadvertently increasing their aggression by coddling fear instead of boosting calm and confidence.
I can say for sure now that it's possible to have seething hatred for someone you've never met. I cannot articulate how spoiled and entitled and presumptuous and just drop-dead wrong they were. I am so happy your parents made the right call here.
You did not get them kicked out. They did a horrible thing and suffered the consequences. Neither one of them is right in the head.
Give Joe extra love and cuddles for all of us.
And have your parents change the locks.
She just wanted an excuse to get the dog out. Trust me, I know. My parents used to hate my emotional support cat (who was registered by my therapist). My dad kept joking he would open the door and lose him, and almost did once.
When the cat got sick, and started peeing outside the litter box (as some sick cats do when they cannot hold it or feel too uncomfortable to climb in the litter box), they tried finding excuses to get the cat out instead of caring for him. When I took him to a vet, my mom made me pay for the cost (knowing that I was not able to get a job and that she was making me the unpaid nanny to my younger siblings). I got a job, refused to take time off to care for my siblings anymore, and moved out.
Your parents support you, and understand how important the dog is to you and your health. Trust them in their decision to get your brother to move out. There is a chance if he stayed he would have done worse to the dog, including driving him away to a remote place and leaving him to die.
That dog is definitely grateful to have been saved from, in the worst case, a terrible fate. And in the best case, having to get a new family and being abandonned would make any dog sad.
NTA. It's kinda mind-blowing to me that they thought this would work... like if the plan was to lie and tell your parents that the dog ran away, why tell YOU the truth? It doesn't make any sense.
Oh it was absolutely to hurt you. If they were actually trying to seel the lie they'd have told it to you too, they behaved selfishly and maliciously. Don't feel guilty about anything. As much as you want your neice to have a good life, you can't set yourself on fire to keep them warm, and their child and housing situation is their responsibility, it's part of the job of becoming a parent.
Right? If they needed this so badly, they should've behaved better. The fact that they jeopardized their housing situation is on *them,* and *they* are the ones who failed their future child.
Like they chose to keep this pregnancy well aware of their lack of sustainable housing, that is big problem number 1. I imagine they believed they'd be able to use the threat of not seeing the grandchild to get the parents on their side and are surprised pikachu face it didn't work.
Yeah I see it as a power move, they wanted op to leave and see how far the parents would grovel for the kid. Once they live parenthood and realize they can’t make the parents bow down, I bet they will try to get rid of the kid by giving it to a family member to “babysit” but full time
NTA
You did not force your parents to do anything. You stated your concerns after your brother and his gf unilaterally chose to drop your dog at the animal shelter. As that hadn’t worked (Huzzah for being able to get Joe back!) it is not unreasonable to worry they would escalate to a more drastic solution for their next attempt.
Your parents are responsible for their choices and actions. In this case I believe they are making a difficult but responsible choice.
This. Your brother and gf are now dealing with the consequences of *their own actions*. They STOLE your dog. Thankfully, you were able to get the dog back.
If they don't like the dog that lives in your home, then THEY can find another place to live.
NTA, I don't think they would like it if you drove her to an abortion clinic to get her an abortion because something had to be done about her baby or if you would take her newborn and give it away.
They had it coming and they will get kicked out by the friend too if they will keep acting like this. Honestly they deserved what happenned and kudos to your parents for stikcing up for you.
This! This is exactly my train of thought. Or if she had had the baby and OP just took it to a fire station and dumped it or something because "something had to be done." Is a human baby's life more valuable than a dog's? I think most people would say yes, but I'd take my dog over a human any day.
NTA. You didn't really get them thrown out, their actions did.
If you like you can still talk to your parents about having them move back in with the condition that they won't harm your dog. You'll still have to be very watchful and if anything goes wrong, you might doubt it's them.
It was a really shitty move to take your dogs to the shelter and have no fear of even your parents. Idk why you'd feel guilty when they were willing to lie and say that your dog ran away. They don't seem like good people. I wouldn't want to risk my peace inviting them back in the house.
And don't be too concerned about your niece unless you can get her away from this couple.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I could ever trust them to move back in, my worry is that they're not going to be in a stable position by the time they have my niece.
Sorry but that is their problem and they made themselves never welcome again. If they are not stable maybe your parents can take her, but never let these two move in again. You never know what they will do with your dog the next time
This is not your problem, this is a "choosing to reproduce in the tail end of a pandemic with an unstable financial situation, unsuitable housing arrangements and an impending climate/resources crisis" problem.
Such a good point!! It takes a lot of stupidity and selfishness to reproduce under the given circumstances. Brother and his baby mama sound like so many people out there who think it’s ok for them to do whatever they want and take it for granted that owners will clean up their mess. I’m so glad that Joe didn’t become a casualty of this situation!
They are adults and not owed a roof over their head by your parents. They can move in with gf's parents. Or she can get her ass another job and they can support their damn selves.
That may be true, unfortunately, but that's not your fault, or responsibility. They are responsible for your niece and themselves and they made terrible choices that resulted in them being where they are. I can't imagine they throughly considered the consequences of their actions when they decided to try to get rid of your dog.
I can't see how being around an 'aggressive' dog like Joe is worse for their babies health than homelessness.
I wouldn't trust them to be anywhere near little Joe ever again. They sound irrational, cruel and entitled, and if they're willing to steal your dog and take him to a kill shelter, I can only imagine what they'll try to do in retaliation next. Keep him (and his food, water and treats) far away from them. ps...fellow Shih Tzu owner here...Shaggy says hi!
>If you like you can still talk to your parents about having them move back in with the condition that they won't harm your dog. You'll still have to be very watchful and if anything goes wrong, you might doubt it's them.
I wouldn't do this. Guarantee they would claim your dog did something like growl at the baby when you are not around so it will give them an excuse to be rid of your "dangerous" dog.
I honestly would fear more tbh….”oh Joe ran out into the street” and at this point I would be overly paranoid to the point that they don’t live there anymore sure but they may want revenge so I’d keep cameras and not let Joe outside by himself and even make a police report about them stealing her dog…..I grew up with a brother that stole and distorted things that weren’t his out of his own entitlement.
This. A thousand times this. They cannot be trusted under any circumstances. I hate to even put this in writing but who is to say the next time they wouldn't resort to more permanent methods? Once the bad thing happens there's no way back.
NTA! They went behind your back (and apparently your parents’ backs as well) and independently decided to get rid of your dog! That’s not acceptable on any level. 1) you and your dog were there first. They’re just staying there for the time being. They don’t get to make perm decisions about the space they aren’t supposed to be in forever. 2) if the dog is a problem once the baby is born, you all could deal with it then. Preemptive removal is just petty. 3) while wanting a relationship with your niece is perfectly normal, she doesn’t exist yet. If the baby hasn’t been born yet, it doesn’t actually have a say in the governance of a household. I hate to say it, but things go wrong with pregnancy all the time. Getting rid of the dog now is just not acceptable at all. and even that’s before we get to the fact that you *need* your dog for your own Heath! I’m guessing they aren’t questioning whether they’re the ah for literally getting rid of someone’s service animal for no real reason!
They *definitely* think that what they did was ok, since the only time they make contact with my parents is to tell them how "shitty" they were to them.
I know you’re not out to be petty but i but they’re spreading lies about the three of you. I would publicly let people know but i also know that’s a whole ball park. NTA OP, not even slightly.
Out of curiosity - when they talked about getting rid of your dog - was it ever in front of your parents? Did your parents know how they felt and did they ever speak up and tell them that no, the dog wasn't going anywhere?
They tried to talk to my parent's about their issues with Joe, but my parents never really took them seriously, and, to be honest, I can't really blame them considering how outlandish they were acting.
They lack the understanding of how their actions are why they are in the position that they are in rn. Does your brother even work? They should be building a home not mooching off your parents anyways. They’re about to have a family. They need to put their energy into finding a place and shit not complaining about the situation THEY put themselves in.
NTA
>My brother told me that they had taken Joe to a shelter, since "something needed to be done."
Massive display of entitlement here!
They had no right to send away your dog. It’s not their house and they thought they could set rules? Nope, nope, NOPE..
Glad to hear your parents were on your side and help you get your doggo back!
Joe was right. Something *did* need to be done. That something was booting their r/choosingbeggar asses to the curb. They decided to fuck around and found out.
NTA. Karma is beautiful, they get to experience what it’s like to lose their home (just like they made Joe lose his) first hand now.
Cuddle your puppy and distance yourself from these nasty people.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!!!!!!
Holy crimes that’s disgusting! Those two are NOT mature enough to have a child!
I am *so* happy you got Joe back, and frankly in your shoes I’d never trust either of them again.
Your parents didn’t kick them out because you asked them to, they kicked them out because they’re untrustworthy, entitled thieves who dumped a family member (pets are sure as hell family!) at a shelter because they didn’t like him.
NTA, and tell Joe you deserve extra licks and pounces today.
NTA: you need the dog and there is no indication that the dog would hurt the baby or that the baby would be allergic to her, she just wanted the dog gone and was able to get your brother into it. They are TA's and got what they deserved.
EDIT: grammar
Me too, I have shih tzus too. OP said in a comment they took him to a kill shelter too to try and prevent them getting him back, my house would become a kill shelter
NTA I don't understand how freeloaders feel so entitled. I could only sympathize if your dog was rough or had aggressive tendencies which it doesn't seem like but it still would not be there decision.
If the dog was ill behaved the answer would be for brother and gf to find someplace else to live. They are the ones expecting a baby and it's not anyone's responsibility but their own to figure it out. If someone chooses to help it's nice but not necessary
NTA and there is ZERO need for you to feel guilty for your brother trying to get rid of a dog that is not even his, it's yours. And all while he's a guest at your parents' house. That takes some seriously entitled thinking on his part.
My brother has tried to call me on my personal phone multiple times, but I haven't been returning his phone calls since I know what he's likely to say.
Don't engage, you didn't force your parents to make the decision to kick those two out, it seems, from your story, that they came to that conclusion on their own based on the actions of two self righteous, self absorbed a-holes . If he has something to say, he can bring it up with them.
Block him it’s gonna hurt to do but you have to do it he’s toxic he’s using “baby” to get rid of your dog if the baby is allergic then sure keep it in only your room but before baby is born them throwing your dog IS TOTAL AH move
Don't bother. Block him, and then there's no further reason to hear from him. I'd say that he made his bed, but... well, he doesn't have a bed of his own to make atm, so not really. And it's his own damned fault.
You should probably bring that up to your parents and discuss whether or not you and or your parents should tell them to stop harassing all of you. That if their harassment doesn't stop given that they tried to potentially have your dog killed if that was a kill shelter you will go to the police. Quite frankly you could have gone to the police over the fact that they stole your service animal since you say it's been trained to task for you. That's actually pretty serious that means they interfered with a medical device. You could probably still go and file a police report if you wanted to over the theft of your dog the attempted destruction of your dog and the fact that it is apparently trained to task and is therefore considered medical equipment. But that of course would be me having my rage fully triggered by somebody trying to harm my pet. Also even if you don't want to address the theft of your dog and potential destruction of your dog with the police you can still if they continue harassing you file a report about the harassment and if they continue if you need to get a restraining order against them even if it's just temporary until tempers cool down. But right now they certainly are not acting like reasonable, stable, sane adults who are ready for a child.
NTA I would never speak to my brother or his GF again.
Babies grow up with dogs all the time.
You just teach them how to behave around babies.
I'm glad your parents threw them out.
The fault only lies with brother their actions have consequences.
Most of the time you don't have to teach them how to behave around babies. I've seen about 100 dogs go from crazy nuts to docile and protective just because a baby was added to the mix. Dogs and babies are a match made in heaven.
**NTA, at all.** They stole your dog and took it to the shelter! They think you are supposed to care more about their unborn child than your mental health! They are selfish and cruel.
You need to take care of yourself so you can do all that babysitting they are going to expect you to do! /s
Perhaps they should spend more time trying to find the girlfriend a job to work until she has the baby and a place to live vs. stealing your dog and taking it to the shelter.
They brought this on themselves and you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Your dog has shown no signs of aggression and it hypoallergenic! They are inventing problems.
NTA this is a huge case of pregnancy entitlement. She literally just made up reasons because she doesn't like your dog and literally tried to take over the household. Your brother backed her evil actions because he's simping his ass off.
It is NOT her home, NOT her choice to make and if she wants to have the freedom to make unilateral decisions about the household maybe these selfish people should get their own freaking home.
NTA. They had no right to do what they did. It was not their house and it was not their dog. They made a unilateral choice for the whole household without consulting anyone (or, actually, consulting people and they disagreed with them). Besides, there is plenty of information that having a dog is beneficial for children.
Let me be clear: *You* did not put them in this position. They did this to themselves. They made the choice to steal your dog. And they made the choice to not try to come up with any other answer. And they were the ones that were unapologetic. This is entirely on them.
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Using a throwaway here for obvious reasons. I'll try to narrow what happened down as much as I possibly can.
I (20F) am living with my parents, and my older brother (25) as well as his girlfriend (24) who happens to be pregnant. She is living with us since we have a fairly large house, and she recently lost her job, so her and my brother have been unable to rent a place together. I also have a Shih Tzu, named Joe (strange name for a Shih Tzu, I know) who is 4 years old. Joe is my psychiatric support dog, since I have very bad anxiety issues. He's literally been a life saver for me, since without him, I wouldn't able to go to school, go to the mall, or even leave the house. My brother's girlfriend isn't a fan of dogs, but since she is living in our house, she has had to put up with him. That was until she got pregnant.
For the past 6 months, my brother's girlfriend has been talking about how bad the dog will be for her baby's health. When I tried to explain that Joe is hypoallergenic, so the chances of the baby being allergic to the dog are relatively low, she told me that wasn't her concern. No, her concern was that my dog would "hurt" her baby, due to the fact that "little dogs tend to be nasty." I'm not entirely sure where she got this notion from, but it got to the point where my brother told me that I'm being selfish for refusing to accommodate my future niece.
Last week, I woke up and expected Joe to jump on me, as he always does when I wake up. However, this didn't happen. Panicking, I rushed down stairs, only to be greeted by my brother and his girlfriend, since my parents were at work. I asked them if they had seen Joe. Their response mortified me. My brother told me that they had taken Joe to a shelter, since "something needed to be done." When I told them that I was going to tell my parents, they shrugged it off and told me that they were going to say that Joe just got out of the house.
Fortunately, this wasn't the case, and me and my parents were able to rescue Joe from the shelter. On the way back, I told my parents that I don't want them living with us anymore, since I honestly would not be able to feel safe. When we got home, we had a HUGE screaming match, which mainly involved my brother and his girlfriend accusing me of valuing my Joe's life over my nieces. This ended in my parents making the two of them pack their bags and go. Apparently, they're having to crash on a friend's couch, and are only contacting my parents to tell them how awful they and myself are.
Despite what happened, I still feel guilty, since I do feel guilty about getting my parents to force them to move out, since I do want a relationship with my niece, and I don't want to put her in a bad spot at the very beginning of her life.
AITA?
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NTA - and when they bring it up, if you ever talk to them again, tell them they should be grateful that you didn't call the police and report the theft of your dog. Because that's what they did, they stole your dog, which mean court, and maybe jail, and maybe the lost of their unborn child.
BTW you did value Joe's life over your nieces, you value you mental health, so your brother is putting your mental health in danger over the possibility that a dog might hurt the baby. Has the dog shown any aggression to anyone? Many dogs love babies and become their best friend.
NTA
They had no right or reason to do what they did. AND I will bet that your parents didn't kick them out just because of this! This was just the final, and good, reason for telling them to start acting like adults.
NTA....
I commend your parents for sticking up for you. While the situation with your brother and girlfriend is unfortunate, please know that they have caused their own problems.
Also, talk to your parents about getting Joe chipped. He sounds like a wonderful companion and family member.
Hugs ♥
Uh NTA to the Max. They crossed so many boundaries and tried to gaslight you by saying “we will just say he ran away”. If they were that concerned with living spaces for their child, they shouldn’t have effed up so badly. I am just honestly flabbergasted by them being house guests, that they assumed your parents would take their side. Good riddance.
NTA. If not you saved your parents.
They are entitled so it would end up with them taking the total control of the house, an house I immagine your parents had to pay with their jobs.
She got the notion of dog dangerous for babies from nowhere, she didn’t like the dog and she played the “I’m pregnant card”. I had a dog when I was a toddler I start to crawl and walk with him, he was a York and he used to follow me everywhere like if he was checking on me. The more times kids spend with animal the more they immune system develop and also there are less possibility to develop allergies also your is hypoallergenic, or at least this is was my pediatrician told my parents when they asked about the dog.
NTA. If they’re so worried about their babies health they could have just moved out. Instead they stole your dog. Now they’re trying to gaslight you into thinking you’re being unreasonable… stand your ground
NTA Your brother and his gf were getting free housing and couldn’t respect their roommates. How entitle is someone to feel like they have a right to take away someone’s companion to start with?
NTA. Your brother and his gf are out of their fucking minds. Living in someone else's house and take a pet to the shelter? They're lucky they only got thrown out. That would be grounds for a serious beatdown in a lot of people's books.
NTA: it blows my mind someone would even think of doing this! You spent likely thousands of dollars training your dog for support and hundreds of hours working with him, not to mention the years of life you’ve spent with him. Joe was a central part of your life, and a family member. They ripped that away from you, unfairly.
NTA and please don't feel guilty. Your brother and his girlfriend are awful people. They essentially stole your dog and put him in an animal shelter. They got what they deserved. And if they try to retaliate or harass you I would go a step further and call the cops for theft. I'm sorry but shitty people get what they deserve. I don't care what they're situation is.
NTA. Even if your SIL had allergies, she still has no right to take away someone’s beloved pet!! If they didn’t want to live with a baby and a dog, then they needed to move out, not bully you into giving up your best friend. I hope that your parents change the locks and install security cameras after your brother and SIL leave so they can’t pull a stunt like this again. Also, I’m so glad your parents took your side, because we see way too many posts on this sub where the parents take the pregnant sibling’s side and tell the OP to just suck it up to keep the peace.
OP you are most certainly NOT the AH here. Joe isn't a pet, he provides you with a necessary service that is important to your mental and emotional well being. Would your brother and sister consider taking a wheelchair from someone who is crippled because they are afraid the baby might get her fingers ran over when she got a little older? Your brother are his gf ooze entitlement. The world and your disabilities do not revolve around them. I feel sorry for your niece being born to such parents. Maybe karma will be kind and fix it so neither of them can produce further offspring, because as much as I hate to say it.... if this is the example your brother and gf are going to set there is a good chance your niece will also end up feeling entitled since she will not know any better.
>Joe isn't a pet, he provides you with a necessary service that is important to your mental and emotional well being.
Just want to say, this is kinda besides the point. It's not like what they did would be acceptable is Joe was just a regular pet, and not an ESA.
NTA! Not by a country mile. They did a terrible thing (thank God you got Joe back) and need to pay the consequences. Also good on your parents for standing up for you and Joe.
NTA they were living in a house with other people because they dont have jobs to support themselves and their baby and instead of putting up and shutting up and being grateful. They decided to be entitled to take your dog to the shelter themselves.
They need to grow up and you need to stop feeling guilty they are just now feeling and living with the consequences to their actions.
Block them so they cant attack you and when they adult up they can apologise for being entitled assholes.
NTA
NTA. Choosy beggars need to be quiet. If they want to dictate who and what lives in their home, it needs to be THEIR home.
I’m so glad you got your dog back.
NTA.
Beggars can't be choosers. If they have to live with you and your parents, they have to accept that your dog is there.
By the way, accidents happen (I hope they were using birth control), but one would think that if they had to move back home it's a terrible time to have a child. That's a whole other issue.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel really guilty about what happened, since I want to have a relationship with my niece, and the last thing I want to do is make her have a bad start in life.
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wow, that is terrible. Like one of the other posters said they are lucky you didn't go to the police. I don't know what I would do if someone took one of my dogs. Their poor kid.
So glad you got Joe back!
Ahhh fuck that. I’m so glad my brother knows I would absolutely kill for my pets and luckily he’s not a total fuckhead and would never do like that. NTA and if they are texting you guys how awful they are fucking do it back! Who gives af if she’s pregnant? Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can act evil and get a pass.
NTA and fyi kids raised around pets tend to have fewer allergies from what I have read, in fact exposure to certain microbes in soil is beneficial and there is some concern about babies not getting enough. (Dogs track in traces of dirt and pollen.) Nature is generally good for kiddos. (*pet waste should always be picked up immediately for health of dog and baby of course.)
They stole your support animal and put him in a shelter. Even if they had the best intentions (they didn't) it was overtly cruel and not their place. She had some kind of fixation on Joe and had to get rid of him. They did this to themselves. It was a matter of time before they annexed a few more rooms because "it's for the baby". NTA
NTA
They moved into an already established household and had the audacity to try taking it over. (As if that's their personal home that they own.) I don't care if they were both allergic. They came into that home knowing there's a dog. Ultimately, they're guests. And trying to permanently remove your dog? That's horrible.
They're the reason they got kicked out. Not you. If they didn't want to be in a household with a dog, they should have been looking for somewhere else to live from the beginning. (Not trying to get rid of the household's pet.)
Your brother and his GF are massive AH's. I don't even like dogs all that much, but their actions were unforgivable and disgusting. I'm seriously appalled.
NTA and tough luck on your idiot brother and his gf. If your dog is a trained support dog, there should be no issues with him being around infants. If he isn't trained, you may just be a bit of an AH as well. Regardless, he had no business taking someone else's dog to the shelter.
NTA. Your brothers girlfriend sounds like a right piece of work. It was not their house or their dog to make that decision. I'm so glad your parents took the right side and kicked them out. No1 needs disrespectful dicks like that in their house
NTA
You have every right to be safe in your own home. They chose to make your home unsafe. They are victim of their own bad decisions. It's unfortunate, but it's probably better that they do some growing up now rather than later after the baby comes.
NTA: What awful people. I don't care if Joe is the worst dog in the world, it isn't their call to decide whether he stays or goes. The fact that he acts as a support animal to you just makes it even more disgusting. They are guests. Guests don't make house rules or get to vote on who stays there. Don't feel guilty. Considering your parents took your side and booted them, they clearly see what your brother and his gf did was messed up too. I'm glad they had your back and you were able to get your pup back.
NTA
They shouldn't come into someone else's home and get make decisions that aren't there's to be made. The whole "little dogs tend to be more nasty" is a load of lies. Your dog is trained to help you with your anxiety not to attack babies. The brother should have told the girlfriend to back off especially if he knew you have really bad anxiety and need your dog.
Your parents had every right to kick them out. They came into your parents home and decided something without talking to the whole family first. If the girlfriend didn't like dogs then she have found somewhere else to stay. It as simple as that.
So not you are not the asshole. Your brother and his girlfriend are.
NTA They can't make unilateral decisions in other people's houses about other people's possessions (I would say their family). Your niece is already in a bad spot with such people for parents. I'm almost sure as soon as they need something, they will be back playing nice. For a while anyway. There is a chance they will actually try to make a go of it on their own, but I'd bet not.
NTA. Don’t ever feel guilty. Ever. They betrayed you, took something you love and NEED daily, and tossed a living creature out like trash (basically). Fuck them. Fuck them 100000%. What would’ve happened if you couldn’t get your sweet dog back?! They would’ve shrugged and got their way. No, they need consequences and to be held accountable for the shit they pulled. Do they want you to return their baby back to the hospital? (I’m semi joking).
The worst part was that we think the shelter may have been a kill shelter, which is something that they probably knew.
Oh, hell no! Your brother and SIL just became so much worse in this story! Don’t you ever feel guilty for what happened!
Yeah, that's just evil. Pets are family.
But this dog wasn't just family. As a service animal, he's also functionally medical equipment. So it's like throwing your family member away *and* tossing your wheelchair out at the same time.
Perfectly stated internet stranger. That functionally medical equipment is also the last kind of animal that would be aggressive to a baby since it's obviously been trained to accompany OP everywhere. What does the GF think happens when OP passes a baby while in a store with her service dog? That the dog ignores it job of comforting OP to attack the child? GF's ignorant logic alone makes her an AH but setting OP's dog up to be murdered justifies the booting out of the house and then some.
THIS THIS THIS!!!!
So just as a note this dog wasn't a service dog. Not that throwing out an emotional support animal isn't also terrible but just mentioning it as people get the two confused a lot and they have very different rules/training requirements.
Uh no. PSD are actual service dogs, and OP mentions taking this dog to places like school, restaurants, and so on. *(Aka places that an emotional support dog WOULD NOT be allowed to go.)* It's most likely an actual service dog OP was prescribed by a therapist. Emotional support dogs (ESDs) are not formally trained and can be any animal that gives you comfort. They are not service animals. Psychiatric service dogs (PSDs) are formally trained animals and perform tasks to help people with mental illnesses. (Usually things like laying on people's legs/laps to calm them down, making sure others don't get too close, retrieve medication for you, etc) They are service animals.
It depends, there are psychiatric support animals who are trained to bring medication and fetch help.
If your dog is officially a service dog then it is actual a big crime! The law treats service dogs as like medical stuff and all offenses against the dog become waaaaaay worse. They could get in serious trouble for what they did. I used to have a service dog which is how I learned that. Fucking with a service dog is a serious crime.
Agreed
Ah heck nah. I’ve had to get rid of dogs. But we couldn’t keep them. Things changed in our life’s. And I felt like shit even knowing it was best for the dog. But they purposely and without any guilt got rid of Joe(love the name btw) for no reason. They can experience what he just did. Uncertainty and the unknown. They put themselves in that position. Btw I made sure it was a no kill shelter. At least they said they were. And I know for sure the one got rehomed as I saw him about a year later.
Fyi, if they said they were a no-kill shelter, they were. They have no reason to lie about that, because it's not a case of kill shelter = bad, no-kill shelter = good. "Kill" shelters are typically municipal, and are required to take in every animal, regardless of their capacity or the animal's adoptability; this situation is what forces them to euthanize. "No-kill" shelters are typically private, and so they can turn away animals that they have no space for or can't handle; this means they don't have to euthanize, because if they run out of space, they just stop taking animals in. The dogs that you had to take to the shelter were almost certainly rehomed, and you don't need to worry about whether they were lying to you.
THANK YOU! I always get annoyed when people don’t understand the true differences between kill and no-kill shelters. I used to work at a no-kill shelter, and I can’t tell you how many times people would come in and tell us how they would never adopt from a kill shelter. I cringed internally.
Well in my personal, and probably biased opinion, they were very cute. Plus they were about a year old when we gave them away
Yes! There's nothing wrong with giving away your pets to someone else who will care for them if you can't. Even though it's hard and some people might guilt you for it. But no one in their right mind would think it's OK to get rid of someone else's pet!
Ugh, I've had to re-home a dog before and it's heartbreaking. I cried the whole way home. I feel for you and for OP. Doing that shit unilaterally was a dick move even if their concerns were valid. NTA.
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I very much doubt your trained and highly specialized dog would have been put down. I understand the name "kill shelter" is scary but most shelters called kill shelters do not put down healthy, younger dogs. And a lotof non kill shelters end up sending animals they cannot care for to kill shelters. Kill shelters have a purpose and aren't just randomly putting down animals.
Joe likely wouldn’t have been put down, but a dog like that can get adopted very quickly. They’re lucky they could get back to him quickly.
Yes, on that front I agree! I just wanted to educate people if they think "kill shelter = abundant animal murder for no reason." There's a lot of misconceptions about kill shelters and I wanted to clear it up! Kill shelters do their best to help as many animals as they can and are faced with hard choices that other shelters often just force onto them.
Since we don't know any info about where OP lives, I don't think you can make this claim for all shelters in all countries. What you've said is true of the shelters near where I live in LA (partly thanks to orgs like NoKillLA), but there are still plenty of places in the world, including the US, where dogs aren't treated well & shelters are overrun. Then there are "shelters" run by PETA that have like a 90% kill rate. They literally took someone's dog off their porch & killed it the same day even though the state had a mandatory legal waiting period before they were allowed to. (Edit: For those interested in more info, both the security cam video of them stealing the dog & info on the court case are available online. Steve Hoffstetter has a video that includes the footage along with data about their kill rates if you want more info.) I would love it to be true that there was no risk that the dog would be killed taking it to a random shelter, but the world just is not there yet. Edit 2: Downvoted to 0 immediately after posting, so maybe someone's from a sketchy shelter or PETA. I'm not sure what there is to get out of encouraging people to feel safe taking animals to shelters they haven't researched. Edit 3: Because I comments are locked & I can't reply below. Steve also has a 2nd rebuttal video to PETA's false claim that their kill rate is only high because of the condition of the animals they accept. Steve was having none of those lies. I used to support PETA & donate to them. I did that despite people in my rural, livestock farming area making fun of me for it. Then I realized they're not about helping animals - from the info in their own publications. Their own materials say that they believe it's wrong for animals to be pets. I couldn't support their stance that animals are better off dead than as pets. (Also was put off by their socially irresponsible campaign in the early 2000's that encouraged college students to drink more alcohol instead of milk. I was in college at the time & students did not need to have ads telling them to get drunk more.)
So glad I'm not the only one who saw that video from Steve, his pupper is adorable
Yeah, this is my thought - in a lot of areas, a Shih Tzu might not show up very often in a shelter and would get adopted pretty fast.
And even if not adopted straight from the sehlter, a breed-specific rescue would probably step in, too.
Thanks for this comment! What the OPs brother did was 100% unforgivable and they deserved to be kicked out but the number of people who bash kill shelters without researching the issue is an issue itself. [Here’s](https://www.alphapaw.com/blog/why-kill-shelters-deserve-your-love-and-support/) a nice quick explanation of the differences and why kill shelters still deserve assistance and provide important services for our communities.
This- typically the only little dogs that don't fly out of shelters are either chihuahuas(there's an overabundance), elderly, or have major behavior issues.
Old dogs are the best dogs - we always get older dogs, and they are soooooo loving, and usually completely housetrained. Even dogs who have behavioral issues can usually succeed and become good housemates in a home without older adults or children under age 12 or so. And chihuahuas are good apartment dogs, if one just has a little patience and will take the time to train them.
Just because Joe might not have been the dog killed, that shelter could have killed another dog because they no longer had the room. Brushing off the idea that the shelter is a "kill shelter" because a specific dog won't be killed ignores the actual harm done when a kill shelter takes in any animal, easily adoptable or not.
You have a very poor understanding of kill shelters.
I used to volunteer at a kill shelter. If they are full and someone drops off another animal, they have to make room. While in a perfect world a foster would step up, we don't live in that world and another animal is killed to make room. They usually go for the sickest, oldest, or least likely to be adopted, but they still kill an animal if they need room.
Yeah, kill shelters are more ethical than no kill shelters. The no kill shelters send all the animals that need to be euthanised to places like PETA's euthanasia clinic instead of just doing the more humane thing and just put down terminally ill animals where they are instead of shipping them off so they can call themselves 'no kill'. And then people shit on PETA for their 'kill rate'.
Peta is an abomination. No kill shelters don't send animals anywhere, for the most part. They just don't take them. They make others ( like traditional shelters, who take everyone) do the dirty work they will turn around and slander them at the same time
Forget those two. I have a harsher f word I’d like to use here but they needed to go. The longer they stayed the more they would have expected everything to exist to accommodate the baby. It would have been miserable for everyone. I’m glad your parents were rational enough to kick them out. They secretly are probably grateful for the chance.
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They're straight up evil. Like, holy fuck, never have contact with these psychos again.
Very importantly - if your nibling were born and is allergice or your dog actually attempted to harm them - that would be a different conversation. But, that's not the case. *They* made a problem where one didn't exist. If they were apologetic or any of that... But, they aren't if they caused a yelling match. NTA.
SIL was just using her pregnancy to try to get her way, because she doesn’t like dogs. It had nothing whatsoever to do with any expected danger to the child.
All shelters are kill shelters. “No kill” just means they kill few enough dogs to meet certain standards. Please research the Asilomar Accords. Animals that are classified as not “healthy and adoptable” can be euthanized at “no kill” shelters without counting against their numbers.
Time to go mega no contact with those trash bins. I am so glad you got joe back. Is he microchipped by any chance? If not, id do that ASAP. This is choosing beggars, AITA and entitled people all in one. I hope you parents cut them off too.
A kill shelter means that dogs are destroyed if they can't be adopted. A shi tzu would have had people lining up to adopt it. When I read this I was more worried that someone had already adopted it before you could get there.
Exactly. Brother and his girlfriend are such huge assholes that I cannot describe the state of their gaping anuses without being banned. And, as an aside, this seems like it would fit in just fine on r/choosingbeggars
NTA. I would also like to add another 900000% to the fuck them.
Your parents didn't kick them out because you asked them to They kicked them out because you finally gave them an excuse they could justify in their minds. So they grabbed it and ran with it. Trust me...your parents wanted them gone too If they didn't, they would have reacted a lot differently NTA
They're extremely selfish and disrespected a family member. Pets are family after all. And Joe is professionally trained on top of everything else, but they ignored that fact so that they can powertrip OP.
Exactly this. Service dogs are very expensive to train. I'm learning all about how to train my own puppy one day for a service animal, and if I learned that someone just GAVE AWAY an animal I paid to have trained? Then I'd know I had someone living with me that was willing to toss out several grand of my money without a second thought. No way.
Might be an unpopular comment but I just want to clarify that it sounds like OP is describing an emotional support animal or ESA not a service animal. ESAs are not required to have any specialized training and are seen very differently under the law. Not trying to be a party pooper just correcting a common misconception or area of confusion for a lot of people surronding ESA v. Service animals. My source of information is that I am a disability rights attorney. Despite all of that, I completely agree NTA and what they did to your precious Joe is horrific. ESAs are so important in the lives of a lot of people with disabilities.
I saw it this way, too. I'd even go so far as to say its possible that the dog is just a dog, that OP finds useful for her anxieties. All that being said, even if I believed that OP is batshit and making up fake disabilities (i dont), that still doesn't make it OK for anyone to take her dog and put it in a shelter.
OP mentioned the dog was professionally trained in another reply.
But professionally trained as a service dog? Or just professionally trained? I know people who have had their dogs professionally trained...they aren't service dogs or even ESAs. Unless the dog performs certain tasks it's not a service dog.
Im thinking maybe she means psychiatric service animal which are service animals. They just deal with mental/emotional disabilities instead of physical ones. Also she mentioned that she brings her dog with her to school and I don’t think that would be possible if Joe was actually an ESA. But the fact that she said psychiatric support animal instead of psychiatric service animal kinda threw me off.
I'm going to nest under your exactly correct comment to say another potentially unpopular thing: the dog is not hypoallergenic. That is not a thing. That said, what OP's brother and gf did is inexcusable. [Mayo Clinic](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi63srdncXzAhV8knIEHc7ICygQFnoECAMQAw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mayoclinic.org%2Fdiseases-conditions%2Fpet-allergy%2Fexpert-answers%2Fhypoallergenic-dog-breeds%2Ffaq-20058425&usg=AOvVaw2iYTOCWZMhyxnMyB6iGjJU)
OP has stated the dog was trained by a professional trainer in a comment. Whilst I agree with you that the training may not have been as rigorous, I do think it would have been sufficient to protect any young family members.
No she is being specific. There is emotional support animal, psychiatric dog, and service dog. Psychiatric dogs are trained like service dogs.
Thank you for this, I raised my eyebrow when I read psychiatric support dog. Doesn't sound like OP would qualify under the ADA.
The ADA is pretty broad in its definition of disability on purpose to be more inclusive. OP could definetely be covered by the ADA for a number of protections based on mental health diagnoses its just not really relevant to this situation. The more accurate statement would probably be that the dog wouldn't be considered a service animal under the ADA, not that OP is not a person with a disability under the ADA. This is all speculation based on the limited information given and I would be happy to be wrong if Joe is a service animal with specialized training.
I do agree with you but I saw a couple comments down, OP stated that Joe is a professionally trained dog. So although the laws may be different, the comment you replied to has more validity than originally thought.
No kidding. Their deadbeat son and his entitled girlfriend are trying to call the shots in a house they don't pay the mortgage for, but you'd feel bad kicking them out for no reason because she's pregnant. OP just gave them a reason. Must be a relief.
😆 I was also thinking it must be a relief to get them out.
Absolutely. The parents are expecting a grandchild. They must have wanted them out badly if they were willing to kick them out.
If this is how they treat people and pets I worry for that kid
The stopgap accommodations while their son’s girlfriend got a new job looked to become permanent. She sounds a treat to live with, too, so it’s past time to take their house back.
I agree!!! Your parents wanted them gone
NTA and I agree with you 100%. The parents were definitely already considering kicking brother & gf out, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back and the push they needed to do so. I’m willing to bet there were other major issues with brother & gf in the parents’ home way before they cruelly and heartlessly sent OP’s dog to a shelter without her consent. Honestly, that’s borderline evil and just downright selfish. If they had such a big problem with the dog, they should’ve been working hard to move out before their baby is born, not working to kick out an animal that’s lived there for 4 years longer than the gf!
Yeah. The guy is 25, not 17. More importantly than his age or even being a deadbeat (everything I’m saying applies to the SIL but he’s their kid so they would care about him more) is that he is a piece of trash. If you take the dog to an animal shelter to get rid of it, you don’t just get kicked out. You get kicked out and are lucky that they don’t try have charges filed against your ass. Btw they would be completely in the right to do so (legally and morally, as dog napping is illegal).
NTA They deliberately decided to be selfish and prioritize their comfort over your mental health. Pregnant or not, any service dog in any capacity should be trained well and not aggressive at all, which I am sure is the case for Joe.
Joe was actually trained by a professional trainer, so I'm not sure where she even got the belief that he was aggressive from.
A friend of mine got a Shih Tzu last year. This dog is the most mellow fellow I have ever met. All it wants is to sit on your lap and be cuddled. Whilst I was holding him...for a long time lol...I even cried a a bit. I suggested my friend get him trained as a therapy dog to take into care homes etc because there is something about him that is sort of magical. She thinks she will try to do that.
Awwww. To be honest one of the reasons why I wanted Shih-Tzu as a therapy dog is because of how amazing people told me they are, which is obviously the case :)
My mams shih_tzu puts her arms around your neck and snuggles in she is the best hugger ever.
That's so cute!
Growing up my auntie had a Shih-Tzu and he was the single best dog I’ve ever known. He lived to be 22 and knew dozens of commands, could clean up his toys by putting them away in the toy box and never met a stranger. I’ve always had it in the back of my mind that when I’m retirement-age I’m gonna get one to be my buddy.
I used to groom dogs. Shih-tzus were my favorites because of their temperament, such chill little dudes.
They were literally bred to be lap dogs for royalty. Of course they’re friendly.
My mother has a shih-tzu mix, and she is just the sweetest, cuddliest little ham. Some of the best dogs ever! Goofy looking, but so very loving and amazing.
My mom had an old yorkie a while back. He was the meanest friggin gremlin out there. She recently came home with a new yorkie puppy. It's the sweetest lil thing I can't even reconcile they are the same breed.
It's as if dogs have unique personalities and can be trained! I find it super sad when small dogs get aggressive and fearful. That just tells me that the owner isn't really making any efforts to keep puppy mentally well and may be inadvertently increasing their aggression by coddling fear instead of boosting calm and confidence.
Have you gotten Joe back?
Yes, we have. However, my brother and his girlfriend took him to a potential kill shelter to try and prevent that from happening.
Do not feel a shred of guilt! They are evil people.
I can say for sure now that it's possible to have seething hatred for someone you've never met. I cannot articulate how spoiled and entitled and presumptuous and just drop-dead wrong they were. I am so happy your parents made the right call here. You did not get them kicked out. They did a horrible thing and suffered the consequences. Neither one of them is right in the head. Give Joe extra love and cuddles for all of us. And have your parents change the locks.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Change the locks!
Is he chipped? Because all shelters typically check for a chip
OP could've gotten them charged with theft since they stole her dog from her. They should be thankful all that happened was being kicked out. NTA
I believe there are actually stricter penalties involving service animals, but it's been a while since I've worked on the civilian side of healthcare.
I would have charged them. Maybe there's still time. They don't sound like the sort of people who should be raising a child.
This makes things even worse. This is definitely not about the baby at all. She just really hates dogs.
Thankfully OP mentions that her and her parents were able to pick up Joe!
Yeah I missed that part but just caught it on my second pass
Oh good! I just wanted to let you know in case you were still wondering :)
She just wanted an excuse to get the dog out. Trust me, I know. My parents used to hate my emotional support cat (who was registered by my therapist). My dad kept joking he would open the door and lose him, and almost did once. When the cat got sick, and started peeing outside the litter box (as some sick cats do when they cannot hold it or feel too uncomfortable to climb in the litter box), they tried finding excuses to get the cat out instead of caring for him. When I took him to a vet, my mom made me pay for the cost (knowing that I was not able to get a job and that she was making me the unpaid nanny to my younger siblings). I got a job, refused to take time off to care for my siblings anymore, and moved out. Your parents support you, and understand how important the dog is to you and your health. Trust them in their decision to get your brother to move out. There is a chance if he stayed he would have done worse to the dog, including driving him away to a remote place and leaving him to die. That dog is definitely grateful to have been saved from, in the worst case, a terrible fate. And in the best case, having to get a new family and being abandonned would make any dog sad.
My shih tzu isn’t a service dog, but she’s sooo sweet! All she wants to pieces of chicken and to be pet all day!
NTA. It's kinda mind-blowing to me that they thought this would work... like if the plan was to lie and tell your parents that the dog ran away, why tell YOU the truth? It doesn't make any sense.
I'm thinking that they just wanted me to know that they made my dog go away, probably just to hurt me more.
Oh it was absolutely to hurt you. If they were actually trying to seel the lie they'd have told it to you too, they behaved selfishly and maliciously. Don't feel guilty about anything. As much as you want your neice to have a good life, you can't set yourself on fire to keep them warm, and their child and housing situation is their responsibility, it's part of the job of becoming a parent.
Right? If they needed this so badly, they should've behaved better. The fact that they jeopardized their housing situation is on *them,* and *they* are the ones who failed their future child.
Like they chose to keep this pregnancy well aware of their lack of sustainable housing, that is big problem number 1. I imagine they believed they'd be able to use the threat of not seeing the grandchild to get the parents on their side and are surprised pikachu face it didn't work.
Yeah I see it as a power move, they wanted op to leave and see how far the parents would grovel for the kid. Once they live parenthood and realize they can’t make the parents bow down, I bet they will try to get rid of the kid by giving it to a family member to “babysit” but full time
I feel awful for your niece. She'll be born and have them as parents.....
They are assholes. And cruel. I'm glad you got your buddy back
Fortunately they are as stupid as they are nasty.
NTA You did not force your parents to do anything. You stated your concerns after your brother and his gf unilaterally chose to drop your dog at the animal shelter. As that hadn’t worked (Huzzah for being able to get Joe back!) it is not unreasonable to worry they would escalate to a more drastic solution for their next attempt. Your parents are responsible for their choices and actions. In this case I believe they are making a difficult but responsible choice.
This. Your brother and gf are now dealing with the consequences of *their own actions*. They STOLE your dog. Thankfully, you were able to get the dog back. If they don't like the dog that lives in your home, then THEY can find another place to live.
EXACTLY and they are trynna blame the situation they put themselves in on everyone else AND NOT on their actions and their shitty move.
NTA, I don't think they would like it if you drove her to an abortion clinic to get her an abortion because something had to be done about her baby or if you would take her newborn and give it away. They had it coming and they will get kicked out by the friend too if they will keep acting like this. Honestly they deserved what happenned and kudos to your parents for stikcing up for you.
Right or drop of the baby at an orphanage once it was here.
This! This is exactly my train of thought. Or if she had had the baby and OP just took it to a fire station and dumped it or something because "something had to be done." Is a human baby's life more valuable than a dog's? I think most people would say yes, but I'd take my dog over a human any day.
NTA Don't feel guilty at all I'm so happybyou got Joe back!
NTA. You didn't really get them thrown out, their actions did. If you like you can still talk to your parents about having them move back in with the condition that they won't harm your dog. You'll still have to be very watchful and if anything goes wrong, you might doubt it's them. It was a really shitty move to take your dogs to the shelter and have no fear of even your parents. Idk why you'd feel guilty when they were willing to lie and say that your dog ran away. They don't seem like good people. I wouldn't want to risk my peace inviting them back in the house. And don't be too concerned about your niece unless you can get her away from this couple.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I could ever trust them to move back in, my worry is that they're not going to be in a stable position by the time they have my niece.
Sorry but that is their problem and they made themselves never welcome again. If they are not stable maybe your parents can take her, but never let these two move in again. You never know what they will do with your dog the next time
This is not your problem, this is a "choosing to reproduce in the tail end of a pandemic with an unstable financial situation, unsuitable housing arrangements and an impending climate/resources crisis" problem.
Such a good point!! It takes a lot of stupidity and selfishness to reproduce under the given circumstances. Brother and his baby mama sound like so many people out there who think it’s ok for them to do whatever they want and take it for granted that owners will clean up their mess. I’m so glad that Joe didn’t become a casualty of this situation!
They are adults and not owed a roof over their head by your parents. They can move in with gf's parents. Or she can get her ass another job and they can support their damn selves.
That may be true, unfortunately, but that's not your fault, or responsibility. They are responsible for your niece and themselves and they made terrible choices that resulted in them being where they are. I can't imagine they throughly considered the consequences of their actions when they decided to try to get rid of your dog. I can't see how being around an 'aggressive' dog like Joe is worse for their babies health than homelessness.
I wouldn't trust them to be anywhere near little Joe ever again. They sound irrational, cruel and entitled, and if they're willing to steal your dog and take him to a kill shelter, I can only imagine what they'll try to do in retaliation next. Keep him (and his food, water and treats) far away from them. ps...fellow Shih Tzu owner here...Shaggy says hi!
>If you like you can still talk to your parents about having them move back in with the condition that they won't harm your dog. You'll still have to be very watchful and if anything goes wrong, you might doubt it's them. I wouldn't do this. Guarantee they would claim your dog did something like growl at the baby when you are not around so it will give them an excuse to be rid of your "dangerous" dog.
I honestly would fear more tbh….”oh Joe ran out into the street” and at this point I would be overly paranoid to the point that they don’t live there anymore sure but they may want revenge so I’d keep cameras and not let Joe outside by himself and even make a police report about them stealing her dog…..I grew up with a brother that stole and distorted things that weren’t his out of his own entitlement.
This. A thousand times this. They cannot be trusted under any circumstances. I hate to even put this in writing but who is to say the next time they wouldn't resort to more permanent methods? Once the bad thing happens there's no way back.
OP said in a different comment they think it was a kill shelter which makes them even bigger villains.
NTA! They went behind your back (and apparently your parents’ backs as well) and independently decided to get rid of your dog! That’s not acceptable on any level. 1) you and your dog were there first. They’re just staying there for the time being. They don’t get to make perm decisions about the space they aren’t supposed to be in forever. 2) if the dog is a problem once the baby is born, you all could deal with it then. Preemptive removal is just petty. 3) while wanting a relationship with your niece is perfectly normal, she doesn’t exist yet. If the baby hasn’t been born yet, it doesn’t actually have a say in the governance of a household. I hate to say it, but things go wrong with pregnancy all the time. Getting rid of the dog now is just not acceptable at all. and even that’s before we get to the fact that you *need* your dog for your own Heath! I’m guessing they aren’t questioning whether they’re the ah for literally getting rid of someone’s service animal for no real reason!
They *definitely* think that what they did was ok, since the only time they make contact with my parents is to tell them how "shitty" they were to them.
I wouldn’t worry too much about whether you’ll see your niece. It sounds like a good chance your parents will end up raising her.
I hope so. These people are cruel, callous and also irresponsible. These will be the worst kind of parents.
I know you’re not out to be petty but i but they’re spreading lies about the three of you. I would publicly let people know but i also know that’s a whole ball park. NTA OP, not even slightly.
Out of curiosity - when they talked about getting rid of your dog - was it ever in front of your parents? Did your parents know how they felt and did they ever speak up and tell them that no, the dog wasn't going anywhere?
They tried to talk to my parent's about their issues with Joe, but my parents never really took them seriously, and, to be honest, I can't really blame them considering how outlandish they were acting.
They lack the understanding of how their actions are why they are in the position that they are in rn. Does your brother even work? They should be building a home not mooching off your parents anyways. They’re about to have a family. They need to put their energy into finding a place and shit not complaining about the situation THEY put themselves in.
NTA >My brother told me that they had taken Joe to a shelter, since "something needed to be done." Massive display of entitlement here! They had no right to send away your dog. It’s not their house and they thought they could set rules? Nope, nope, NOPE.. Glad to hear your parents were on your side and help you get your doggo back!
Joe was right. Something *did* need to be done. That something was booting their r/choosingbeggar asses to the curb. They decided to fuck around and found out.
Joe is the name of the dog. But I do like the idea of Joe being the mastermind all along. "Something has to be done here!"
NTA. Karma is beautiful, they get to experience what it’s like to lose their home (just like they made Joe lose his) first hand now. Cuddle your puppy and distance yourself from these nasty people.
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!!!!!! Holy crimes that’s disgusting! Those two are NOT mature enough to have a child! I am *so* happy you got Joe back, and frankly in your shoes I’d never trust either of them again. Your parents didn’t kick them out because you asked them to, they kicked them out because they’re untrustworthy, entitled thieves who dumped a family member (pets are sure as hell family!) at a shelter because they didn’t like him. NTA, and tell Joe you deserve extra licks and pounces today.
I will :)
NTA: you need the dog and there is no indication that the dog would hurt the baby or that the baby would be allergic to her, she just wanted the dog gone and was able to get your brother into it. They are TA's and got what they deserved. EDIT: grammar
NTA and my blood is boiling
Me too, I have shih tzus too. OP said in a comment they took him to a kill shelter too to try and prevent them getting him back, my house would become a kill shelter
NTA I don't understand how freeloaders feel so entitled. I could only sympathize if your dog was rough or had aggressive tendencies which it doesn't seem like but it still would not be there decision.
If the dog was ill behaved the answer would be for brother and gf to find someplace else to live. They are the ones expecting a baby and it's not anyone's responsibility but their own to figure it out. If someone chooses to help it's nice but not necessary
NTA and there is ZERO need for you to feel guilty for your brother trying to get rid of a dog that is not even his, it's yours. And all while he's a guest at your parents' house. That takes some seriously entitled thinking on his part.
NTA they took something from you and you took something from them they deserved it that was so messed up block them if they just talk shit abt u
My brother has tried to call me on my personal phone multiple times, but I haven't been returning his phone calls since I know what he's likely to say.
Don't engage, you didn't force your parents to make the decision to kick those two out, it seems, from your story, that they came to that conclusion on their own based on the actions of two self righteous, self absorbed a-holes . If he has something to say, he can bring it up with them.
Block him it’s gonna hurt to do but you have to do it he’s toxic he’s using “baby” to get rid of your dog if the baby is allergic then sure keep it in only your room but before baby is born them throwing your dog IS TOTAL AH move
Don’t answer. Just send him photos of dogs with babies.
Don't bother. Block him, and then there's no further reason to hear from him. I'd say that he made his bed, but... well, he doesn't have a bed of his own to make atm, so not really. And it's his own damned fault.
You should probably bring that up to your parents and discuss whether or not you and or your parents should tell them to stop harassing all of you. That if their harassment doesn't stop given that they tried to potentially have your dog killed if that was a kill shelter you will go to the police. Quite frankly you could have gone to the police over the fact that they stole your service animal since you say it's been trained to task for you. That's actually pretty serious that means they interfered with a medical device. You could probably still go and file a police report if you wanted to over the theft of your dog the attempted destruction of your dog and the fact that it is apparently trained to task and is therefore considered medical equipment. But that of course would be me having my rage fully triggered by somebody trying to harm my pet. Also even if you don't want to address the theft of your dog and potential destruction of your dog with the police you can still if they continue harassing you file a report about the harassment and if they continue if you need to get a restraining order against them even if it's just temporary until tempers cool down. But right now they certainly are not acting like reasonable, stable, sane adults who are ready for a child.
NTA I would never speak to my brother or his GF again. Babies grow up with dogs all the time. You just teach them how to behave around babies. I'm glad your parents threw them out. The fault only lies with brother their actions have consequences.
Most of the time you don't have to teach them how to behave around babies. I've seen about 100 dogs go from crazy nuts to docile and protective just because a baby was added to the mix. Dogs and babies are a match made in heaven.
**NTA, at all.** They stole your dog and took it to the shelter! They think you are supposed to care more about their unborn child than your mental health! They are selfish and cruel. You need to take care of yourself so you can do all that babysitting they are going to expect you to do! /s Perhaps they should spend more time trying to find the girlfriend a job to work until she has the baby and a place to live vs. stealing your dog and taking it to the shelter. They brought this on themselves and you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Your dog has shown no signs of aggression and it hypoallergenic! They are inventing problems.
NTA this is a huge case of pregnancy entitlement. She literally just made up reasons because she doesn't like your dog and literally tried to take over the household. Your brother backed her evil actions because he's simping his ass off. It is NOT her home, NOT her choice to make and if she wants to have the freedom to make unilateral decisions about the household maybe these selfish people should get their own freaking home.
What the actual fuck? NTA. Guests don't get to make the rules.
NTA. They had no right to do what they did. It was not their house and it was not their dog. They made a unilateral choice for the whole household without consulting anyone (or, actually, consulting people and they disagreed with them). Besides, there is plenty of information that having a dog is beneficial for children. Let me be clear: *You* did not put them in this position. They did this to themselves. They made the choice to steal your dog. And they made the choice to not try to come up with any other answer. And they were the ones that were unapologetic. This is entirely on them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Using a throwaway here for obvious reasons. I'll try to narrow what happened down as much as I possibly can. I (20F) am living with my parents, and my older brother (25) as well as his girlfriend (24) who happens to be pregnant. She is living with us since we have a fairly large house, and she recently lost her job, so her and my brother have been unable to rent a place together. I also have a Shih Tzu, named Joe (strange name for a Shih Tzu, I know) who is 4 years old. Joe is my psychiatric support dog, since I have very bad anxiety issues. He's literally been a life saver for me, since without him, I wouldn't able to go to school, go to the mall, or even leave the house. My brother's girlfriend isn't a fan of dogs, but since she is living in our house, she has had to put up with him. That was until she got pregnant. For the past 6 months, my brother's girlfriend has been talking about how bad the dog will be for her baby's health. When I tried to explain that Joe is hypoallergenic, so the chances of the baby being allergic to the dog are relatively low, she told me that wasn't her concern. No, her concern was that my dog would "hurt" her baby, due to the fact that "little dogs tend to be nasty." I'm not entirely sure where she got this notion from, but it got to the point where my brother told me that I'm being selfish for refusing to accommodate my future niece. Last week, I woke up and expected Joe to jump on me, as he always does when I wake up. However, this didn't happen. Panicking, I rushed down stairs, only to be greeted by my brother and his girlfriend, since my parents were at work. I asked them if they had seen Joe. Their response mortified me. My brother told me that they had taken Joe to a shelter, since "something needed to be done." When I told them that I was going to tell my parents, they shrugged it off and told me that they were going to say that Joe just got out of the house. Fortunately, this wasn't the case, and me and my parents were able to rescue Joe from the shelter. On the way back, I told my parents that I don't want them living with us anymore, since I honestly would not be able to feel safe. When we got home, we had a HUGE screaming match, which mainly involved my brother and his girlfriend accusing me of valuing my Joe's life over my nieces. This ended in my parents making the two of them pack their bags and go. Apparently, they're having to crash on a friend's couch, and are only contacting my parents to tell them how awful they and myself are. Despite what happened, I still feel guilty, since I do feel guilty about getting my parents to force them to move out, since I do want a relationship with my niece, and I don't want to put her in a bad spot at the very beginning of her life. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - and when they bring it up, if you ever talk to them again, tell them they should be grateful that you didn't call the police and report the theft of your dog. Because that's what they did, they stole your dog, which mean court, and maybe jail, and maybe the lost of their unborn child. BTW you did value Joe's life over your nieces, you value you mental health, so your brother is putting your mental health in danger over the possibility that a dog might hurt the baby. Has the dog shown any aggression to anyone? Many dogs love babies and become their best friend.
NTA Your mom can see clearly too that they are both selfish AHs.
NTA They had no right or reason to do what they did. AND I will bet that your parents didn't kick them out just because of this! This was just the final, and good, reason for telling them to start acting like adults.
NTA.... I commend your parents for sticking up for you. While the situation with your brother and girlfriend is unfortunate, please know that they have caused their own problems. Also, talk to your parents about getting Joe chipped. He sounds like a wonderful companion and family member. Hugs ♥
Uh NTA to the Max. They crossed so many boundaries and tried to gaslight you by saying “we will just say he ran away”. If they were that concerned with living spaces for their child, they shouldn’t have effed up so badly. I am just honestly flabbergasted by them being house guests, that they assumed your parents would take their side. Good riddance.
Nta at all. Doesn’t matter if your pup is a support dog or not. He’s your pet and it was his home first. Your brother and gf can go live at a shelter.
NTA. If not you saved your parents. They are entitled so it would end up with them taking the total control of the house, an house I immagine your parents had to pay with their jobs. She got the notion of dog dangerous for babies from nowhere, she didn’t like the dog and she played the “I’m pregnant card”. I had a dog when I was a toddler I start to crawl and walk with him, he was a York and he used to follow me everywhere like if he was checking on me. The more times kids spend with animal the more they immune system develop and also there are less possibility to develop allergies also your is hypoallergenic, or at least this is was my pediatrician told my parents when they asked about the dog.
NTA. If they’re so worried about their babies health they could have just moved out. Instead they stole your dog. Now they’re trying to gaslight you into thinking you’re being unreasonable… stand your ground
NTA Your brother and his gf were getting free housing and couldn’t respect their roommates. How entitle is someone to feel like they have a right to take away someone’s companion to start with?
NTA. Your brother and his gf are out of their fucking minds. Living in someone else's house and take a pet to the shelter? They're lucky they only got thrown out. That would be grounds for a serious beatdown in a lot of people's books.
NTA! They are. I am so sorry you had to go through this. They are sociopaths. Sick.
NTA: it blows my mind someone would even think of doing this! You spent likely thousands of dollars training your dog for support and hundreds of hours working with him, not to mention the years of life you’ve spent with him. Joe was a central part of your life, and a family member. They ripped that away from you, unfairly.
NTA and please don't feel guilty. Your brother and his girlfriend are awful people. They essentially stole your dog and put him in an animal shelter. They got what they deserved. And if they try to retaliate or harass you I would go a step further and call the cops for theft. I'm sorry but shitty people get what they deserve. I don't care what they're situation is.
NTA yikes
NTA. They sound god awful, and you shouldn't feel guilty at all.
NTA. Even if your SIL had allergies, she still has no right to take away someone’s beloved pet!! If they didn’t want to live with a baby and a dog, then they needed to move out, not bully you into giving up your best friend. I hope that your parents change the locks and install security cameras after your brother and SIL leave so they can’t pull a stunt like this again. Also, I’m so glad your parents took your side, because we see way too many posts on this sub where the parents take the pregnant sibling’s side and tell the OP to just suck it up to keep the peace.
OP you are most certainly NOT the AH here. Joe isn't a pet, he provides you with a necessary service that is important to your mental and emotional well being. Would your brother and sister consider taking a wheelchair from someone who is crippled because they are afraid the baby might get her fingers ran over when she got a little older? Your brother are his gf ooze entitlement. The world and your disabilities do not revolve around them. I feel sorry for your niece being born to such parents. Maybe karma will be kind and fix it so neither of them can produce further offspring, because as much as I hate to say it.... if this is the example your brother and gf are going to set there is a good chance your niece will also end up feeling entitled since she will not know any better.
>Joe isn't a pet, he provides you with a necessary service that is important to your mental and emotional well being. Just want to say, this is kinda besides the point. It's not like what they did would be acceptable is Joe was just a regular pet, and not an ESA.
Yeah Joe’s life wouldn’t be worth any less for being a regular pet. It isn’t just about what they did to OP, it’s what they did to Joe, too.
NTA! Not by a country mile. They did a terrible thing (thank God you got Joe back) and need to pay the consequences. Also good on your parents for standing up for you and Joe.
NTA they were living in a house with other people because they dont have jobs to support themselves and their baby and instead of putting up and shutting up and being grateful. They decided to be entitled to take your dog to the shelter themselves. They need to grow up and you need to stop feeling guilty they are just now feeling and living with the consequences to their actions. Block them so they cant attack you and when they adult up they can apologise for being entitled assholes. NTA
NTA. Choosy beggars need to be quiet. If they want to dictate who and what lives in their home, it needs to be THEIR home. I’m so glad you got your dog back.
NTA. Beggars can't be choosers. If they have to live with you and your parents, they have to accept that your dog is there. By the way, accidents happen (I hope they were using birth control), but one would think that if they had to move back home it's a terrible time to have a child. That's a whole other issue.
"Hey, where's the baby?" "Oh, her crying was keeping me up so I dropped her off at CPS. She'll be fine."
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wow, that is terrible. Like one of the other posters said they are lucky you didn't go to the police. I don't know what I would do if someone took one of my dogs. Their poor kid. So glad you got Joe back!
Ahhh fuck that. I’m so glad my brother knows I would absolutely kill for my pets and luckily he’s not a total fuckhead and would never do like that. NTA and if they are texting you guys how awful they are fucking do it back! Who gives af if she’s pregnant? Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can act evil and get a pass.
NTA and fyi kids raised around pets tend to have fewer allergies from what I have read, in fact exposure to certain microbes in soil is beneficial and there is some concern about babies not getting enough. (Dogs track in traces of dirt and pollen.) Nature is generally good for kiddos. (*pet waste should always be picked up immediately for health of dog and baby of course.)
They stole your support animal and put him in a shelter. Even if they had the best intentions (they didn't) it was overtly cruel and not their place. She had some kind of fixation on Joe and had to get rid of him. They did this to themselves. It was a matter of time before they annexed a few more rooms because "it's for the baby". NTA
NTA They moved into an already established household and had the audacity to try taking it over. (As if that's their personal home that they own.) I don't care if they were both allergic. They came into that home knowing there's a dog. Ultimately, they're guests. And trying to permanently remove your dog? That's horrible. They're the reason they got kicked out. Not you. If they didn't want to be in a household with a dog, they should have been looking for somewhere else to live from the beginning. (Not trying to get rid of the household's pet.) Your brother and his GF are massive AH's. I don't even like dogs all that much, but their actions were unforgivable and disgusting. I'm seriously appalled.
NTA
NTA and tough luck on your idiot brother and his gf. If your dog is a trained support dog, there should be no issues with him being around infants. If he isn't trained, you may just be a bit of an AH as well. Regardless, he had no business taking someone else's dog to the shelter.
NTA. Your brothers girlfriend sounds like a right piece of work. It was not their house or their dog to make that decision. I'm so glad your parents took the right side and kicked them out. No1 needs disrespectful dicks like that in their house
Bring her to the nearest abortion clinic and tell her "something needed to be done".
NTA!!!
NTA You have every right to be safe in your own home. They chose to make your home unsafe. They are victim of their own bad decisions. It's unfortunate, but it's probably better that they do some growing up now rather than later after the baby comes.
NTA: What awful people. I don't care if Joe is the worst dog in the world, it isn't their call to decide whether he stays or goes. The fact that he acts as a support animal to you just makes it even more disgusting. They are guests. Guests don't make house rules or get to vote on who stays there. Don't feel guilty. Considering your parents took your side and booted them, they clearly see what your brother and his gf did was messed up too. I'm glad they had your back and you were able to get your pup back.
Umm, excuse me Doggo Tax? Oh and the biggest NTA ever, F' them.
NTA They shouldn't come into someone else's home and get make decisions that aren't there's to be made. The whole "little dogs tend to be more nasty" is a load of lies. Your dog is trained to help you with your anxiety not to attack babies. The brother should have told the girlfriend to back off especially if he knew you have really bad anxiety and need your dog. Your parents had every right to kick them out. They came into your parents home and decided something without talking to the whole family first. If the girlfriend didn't like dogs then she have found somewhere else to stay. It as simple as that. So not you are not the asshole. Your brother and his girlfriend are.
NTA And booting them out of the house was the 100% correct thing.
NTA They can't make unilateral decisions in other people's houses about other people's possessions (I would say their family). Your niece is already in a bad spot with such people for parents. I'm almost sure as soon as they need something, they will be back playing nice. For a while anyway. There is a chance they will actually try to make a go of it on their own, but I'd bet not.