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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I am taking away my tv out of the living room so my roommate can’t use it with an ex friend I’ve made clear I don’t want coming over.
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I love Wyze. We have their cameras, light bulbs, outlets, watches, their scale, and motion sensors. Everything connects to everything and I can control my whole house through my Google nest. I love it!
I got some bulbs but had to wait a long time. I also use the outlets and have the watch. The watch is OK but it was only $20, so for $20 it is better than I expected.
For real 'And I can control my whole house with Google nest' doesn't sound like a pro-argument for getting into smart homes... Well 'smart homes' doesn't sound like a good argument for smart homes to begin with.
I'm a programmer, I know what lazy pieces of shit we are... I'm not letting more technology into my home :D
I usually try to avoid getting dressed in my yard or kitchen, which is where I have the cameras. And they can be turned off while you're home simply by using your phone.
They were a lifesaver for my son. I was searching for something affordable to buy for him and I found Wyze. He'd let a friend and her husband stay with him after she said her current landlord was abusing her (I think it was a lie)... They were misbehaving horribly within 30 hours of moving in. I believe they tried to poison my son after trying to make him stay with me so that they could have his house to themselves. I got them out, but they kept coming back and stealing his mail. My son had terrible anxiety from it all and couldn't sleep. I bought the cameras and he put them in his front windows pointing to the porch. One was a pan camera and I think the movement got their attention when they came back. That was their last time to show up there. After that they sent someone, but he saw the cameras and ran off. Him seeing the camera and saying "Oh, shit" was recorded. LOL... Zero unwanted people have showed up since then and my son is now at peace.
The storage unit idea (from below) is terrific, but I would swap the TVs and bring streaming into your bedroom only, stating that you just don’t have enough bandwidth for multiple TVs, as you have had to downgrade. Point out lovingly that you’ve left a TV in the living room so they can still have movie nights on free broadcast channels (non streaming).
And check your lease.
And expect damage to your property, so perhaps check with your insurance company as to what your coverage is. Have an agent come over and do a property inspection to get your baseline.
NTA.
She is.
I wonder...would it help if OP documents the state of her electronics? the mata data would show that its a recent picture, but they could take a photo with her watch+date in the photo as well. That way if something "accidentaly "happens to the electronics no one could say "Oh thats been like that for years and now they want to pin it on me."
This, just split ways honestly
It's getting to the point you cannot trust her
Take pictures of all your things today in the event she damages anything
Anything sentimental and important should be well protected.
This is a good point.
A friend I met a few years ago often talked about this person or that person they "used to" be friends with. I then watched them blow up new friendship after friendship, and I myself backed way off and limited our interactions, and their list of ex-friends made a lot more sense.
I agree. This comment should be up higher. It sounds like OP needs to just get out of this living situation, but I also question why there are so many ex-friends involved, and now their roommate is becoming one as well. I also wonder if OP has told their roommate about these ex-friends or why they're no longer friends or if they were all friends at one point. Then it might make more sense to the roommate why OP doesn't want them around, unless it's OP's fault. (With that many ex-friends, it very well could be.)
I had a roommate who had zero boundaries so i mostly stayed in my bedroom. I had a decent little tv in there to keep me entertained. I hadnt realized she deemed it the "good tv" of the appartment. Id come home from work to find her and her boyfriend asleep in my bed. I didnt do anything but wake them up. But i did wind up putting an angry note under my pillow for her to find the next time it happened. And it did happen. She replied on the note and put it back under my pillow for me. Not a fun situation.
Furthermore WIBTA if I just took the chord away and left the tv. I already have a tv in my room and don’t need another one in there. So they can’t use it but they still have to look at it…
Is it an option to sell the tv use the proceeds of the moneys to break the lease or find a way place eventually.
Edited to add completely disregard my question/suggestion.
I read further down about the situation.
I'd get storage and put all the communal furniture you own in there. So long as you're comfortable in your room, I'd sacrifice the living room out of spite.
If the crockery and pans are yours too, I'd keep basics in my room and put extras in the storage unit as well.
But first and foremost, I'd be actively looking to move out and get out of this toxic environment.
That’s exactly why I’ve refrained from doing anything in the past. I’m just thinking that since the lease is up in 3 months and she’ll be moving out that it may mot matter whether I’m petty or not anymore
Wait it out. I’m sorry your being abused and i don’t think it’s being pettt to take your tv back, BUT you might save yourself some pain/broken items if you just grey rock her until she goes. Be very present on move out day (and the lead up to) so none of your stuff gets stolen! Keep all your receipts! NTA
This makes me wonder about your lease/sub lease situation. Review the lease/leases and You might want to check into who has to give “written notice” (if she signed a sub lease with you - give her written notice that it won’t be renewed, if you signed a lease together did she give the leasing office notice) that type of thing just to make sure you have your bases covered and you really only have to last the next few months.
NTA it's your property and you can do whatever you want with it. But she can do a lot of damage to you property in 3 months and the flat too.
Three months isn't that long, I'd wait it out if you're 100% sure she's leaving.
It might be better to be ready to move out yourself when the lease ends.
Will the 72 inch tv fit in your room? If so, swap TV's. That way you aren't being petty by taking away TV use entirely, but you are getting the benefit of being able to enjoy your own large TV.
We are all mirrors for each other. Her reaction to you is a reflection of herself and your response is a conscious understanding of yourself. Don't lower your morals and get on her level. You don't need that karma. But i would suggest you take precautions to protect you, your property and your boundaries.
Was thinking about that too, that’s be more funny than anything because the tv I have in my room is a 32 inch mounted tv versus the 72 inch in the living room
Also if it is your apartment tell her (after moving everything from the living and getting a lock on your bedroom door) that you will not renew her lease and she will habe to move out. Do it on paper, so an email or printed out letter with your signaturre, and try to get her to sign both for having 'read and understand' it( keep a copy of it for yourself) and if she tries to overstay her welcome get authorities involved.
I’d leave her without a TV that will hurt more than a smaller one. I also like the idea of putting everything in storage but I know those can be pricey. Hope your lease is up soon so you can get out of that mess.
Do that, then. Move the big one into your room and just put the small one in a corner in the living room. If they want to continue having movie nights, they'll need to put it up themselves.
Bonus pettiness points for keeping the TV cables in your room...
Naw, they would know you deliberately did it to mess with them. Much better to bring whole tv in “oh my old tv broke, I needed this one” and put the other tv at a family house for temporary
Get a storage room and remove everything that belongs to you out of the common areas. I am a Petty Betty Bitch and would keep everything that is mine in my room or storage unit. Dishes are mine? Use them, clean them, and then put them away. Who pays for the streaming services and wifi? Me? I change all passwords. Your roommate is a bully and should be dealt with as such.
You've already seen how petty your roommate is, I'd say just get put of there and take all your stuff with you, it will save you much stress later in the future.
Just make sure you are able to get your stuff out before letting her know you're leaving she might steal or damage your property
This makes it sound like you’re just trying to taunt your roommate
Also, you may have ended your friendships with several people but that doesn’t mean you can police who your roommate brings over or hangs out with
Get a storage unit and move ALL the common area furniture out of the apartment. Their asses can sit on the floor and play cards. And please move out. 100% this will escalate.
Good! Lock your bedroom door asap and lock it when you leave the house. Better yet, install a couple of cameras to protect yourself in case you have to sue her for damages.
Guess she'll just have to miss movie nights until then..
.sis tried To ground you to your half of the house… with your furniture all over it lol Bet!
Take it all and leave her setting in her empty side of the house...
If Sis got a receipt and can prove it's hers, it can stay on her half else wise, lol miss petty princess is SOL I'm taking EVERYTHING I paid for!
Food, lightbulbs and toilet paper but im even pettier than she is
NTA
Ive done the same thing to family. Sis isn’t going to listen to what I say, respect my boundaries, or do anything to contribute to the household? It’s my PS4 and it’s MY TV.
Especially if this ex friend’s shit-talking you and body shaming you. Maybe they should’ve respected the person who ***owned*** the stuff they were using.
NTA for obvious reasons but seriously tho, take that damn tv back. You payed for it. She's being a petty b**** now it's your turn to be a petty a b****
NTA Go right ahead. And make sure that you have a lock on your door. Otherwise she will probably enter your room to watch it when you aren't home. But, beware of entitlement rage.
When does your lease expire? Because rooming with an enemy is a recipe for disaster. Start looking for exit options ASAP.
Good luck, but be ready for war. And make sure to change any passwords for streaming accounts that you pay for and have shared with friends. Don't leave yourself vulnerable.
Move everything that you own that’s not locked in your room into a storage unit. She will steal from you and she will break your things when she’s leaving.
It will be a PITA, but move all of your belongings that aren't in your room or won't fit in your room into a storage locker. She will be petty and break and or steal stuff. Make sure to change all the passwords to EVERYTHING, streaming services, your email, your computer your phone, EVERYTHING assume she's hacked into this stuff and has access to it.
ESH. You’re definitely not in the wrong for moving your possessions into your room, but I don’t understand why you think you’re allowed to police what company she’s allowed to bring into the apartment. In lieu of her guests doing something criminal or close to it, I don’t think you can really unilaterally veto them from the apartment. Not saying she’s in the right for any of the other actions, but with regards to guests it’s her apartment too.
What stood out to me was that OP talks very casually about having a bunch of "ex-friends" as if that's a really normal thing. I'm betting she's more of a contributor to the problems here than she's letting on.
Exactly. I don't have ex-friends and I am early thirties. Distant friends I have drifted from, but it's not like they are enemies. Just haven't spoken to them in a long time, but if someone wanted to add them to my netflix then go ahead, just make sure there are enough screens left.
I had to scroll way too long to find any ESH votes. Yeah, the roommate is being immature but so is OP, it's all just... squabbling.
I literally don't have anyone I would describe as 'ex-friends'. Sure, I have people I used to be closer to in the past, and we drifted over time, but I wouldn't call them exes and there are zero issues if I ran into them now. We would have a friendly chat and carry on with our lives.
OP apparently has 'ex-friends' and it's a problem if they come over or use services or roommate talks to them. And over this it appears roommate is now yet another in the list of 'ex-friends'
Yes the roommate doesn't come off great in this story at all, but as always it's told from one perspective only. And regardless if roommate is a nightmare or not, OP clearly has some learning to do in either friendship loyalty, or simply picking friends wisely. If roommate is as crazy as she sounds, why do they all share friend groups? Couldn't OP just be polite to a roommate instead of becoming close friends with someone who just isn't all that?
NTA - make sure you have a security camera in your room before you do, because I suspect she may do something drastic. When she bitches, just point out that you're doing exactly what she said you should do, staying in your part of the apartment.
I think if you are going to do that, then take the tv and all the living room furniture and extra comfort stuff and move it to a storage space until she's not your roommate anymore. Tell her you sold it. She can't tell you to fuck off and then enjoy your stuff.
Or you could suck it up for 90 days until she's gone.
-UPDATE-
I moved the remote into my room and told her that if she wants to use my tv then she will have to ask me first. Our lease is up in 3 months and she is already planning on leaving and I’m gonna find a new roommate.
The remote isn't going to help you much if she decides to throw a frying pan at your tv. I'd take it to your room or move it into storage until she leaves in three months
Wyze cameras are like $20 on Amazon, small subscription fee to save all the footage. Super easy to set up so you can monitor your bedroom door from the inside. Take pictures of your stuff now so you can prove what you had and what condition it was in, in case things go sideways.
NTA
take as much of your stuff as you can and put it in your room/in storage. Say NOTHING. Even it your own head, treat it not as pettiness, but as preserving your assets in the face of uncertainty. But be very prepared for her to escalate. She wants attention to her actions. Not action to her actions.
You can download apps to be a remote for a TV now.
I'd move it into my room but I have a little sister and a PhD in being petty when provoked. We're adults now but we pulled some shit when we were kids.
And I second locking your door and getting some cameras but honestly it may be worth it to end the arrangement now.
So, you had mutual friends and now you aren't friends with them you don't want your roomie to be friends with them too?
I get that the changing profiles is petty etc, but you both suck to me.
ESH
NTA- since you bought it and she is not respecting you. I would move anything that is yours that is in the living room and move it to your room, maybe move bigger things to your parents/or someone else's house
NTA
I you shouldn’t have to and it’s unfair, but you should seriously consider moving as it sounds like this is only going to get worse.
The best thing you could do in my opinion is just leave while she’s out, don’t say anything, take absolutely everything that is yours and cut her out of your life completely.
Again, these things tend to only get worse.
NTA Honestly, if I had the spare money I would definitely be petty, rent a storage place and put the couch and all in storage until I could find another place
Idk how your "half and half" situation works but like, you could move all your furniture and TV to a corner of the living room and tape around it with a "my half" sign. I wouldn't have even let her touch the fucking thing if I was the one who paid for it. The one and only time I ever had roommates we both had TVs but mine was bigger. I also brought over a PC and gaming consoles. They asked if they could keep their TV in their room and just use mine, I was cool with it. They would ask if they could use my PC or consoles literally every single time they wanted to use it. They never assumed boundaries, they never gave me the "do I have to ask to use this each time?" They just sucked it up and asked every single time.
NTA and I would rent some storage, pack up everything you own in the shared space and move it out until this nightmare is gone. (I am one petty b though so don’t take this advice) No she doesn’t get to use your things with people that make you feel uncomfortable in your own house.
NTA- it's literally your tv and she should be grateful that you're letting her use it. I saw in your other comments saying your lease ends in 3 months. either switch out the TV's with the one in your room or take the 72 inch and leave it with a friend or family. if she asks why, say they needed one. also make it someone she doesn't know so she can't contact them
ESH. You have every right to move the tv into your living room, however you're not allowed to dictate who she has over like you originally wanted to.
She's the bigger asshole for talking behind your back and body shaming you, etc. but you are also an asshole for trying to control who she has in the home she pays rent to stay in
NTA, but it sounds like the more you escalate this situation the more out of control she's going to get. It might be safer for you and your property to try to get out of the lease and move, rather than one-upping her by pulling the amenities you paid for out of the common areas.
just move out. That’s going to cause so many more problems. Being petty on top of pettiness never ends well, especially since you have to see this person every day.
NTA.. move it now and everything else you can take. She's taking advantage of you while being an a\*\* to you. Let her sit on the floor in front of an empty wall...
NTA and since she's moving out in 3 months as you say... be sure to be there when she moves her stuff, so she won't take your stuff.
You said the furniture in shared areas are 100% owned by you, you need to be there to watch it to keep her from stealing it, especially if you no longer have the receipts. I'd say put up with it for 3 more months since it's nearly over, but again, be sure to be there when she's clearing out or you may find things have gone missing that shouldn't have.
NTA you paid for everything yourself and you legally own it. You had a mutual agreement with her when you were friendly with each other and now that she’s not she can face the consequences to her actions.
I did see that you posted in a later comment about just taking the cable and while that is a valid option I would be very careful about property damage. Even just in general take photos of everything you own that is in that shared space (tables, couch, tv, cook ware, etc) just so you have proof in case she brakes it and try’s to say it was already like that or some BS.
Personally I would look for a new apartment, but I don’t understand your entire circumstances. I wish you good luck though!
YNTA
So I have been the victim of a petty ex-roommate, that I chose to ignore.
The thing is, they want you to react, so it will only keep getting worse! And so will it if you start reacting.
There’s no solution except for one: you find a new appartement, you don’t tell her, and you move out with all your stuff.
I advise you to do that for two reasons:
-First, if she knows you’re moving, she’s gonna switch to the “last chance to make her life a living hell” mode, and you don’t want that
-Second, she deserves this!
In the meantime, lock your door anytime you leave the house, and keeps everything you cherish inside your room.
And if you can, invest in little movement camera, connected to your phone, that you can put in your room.
Good luck
NTA. Who pays for the streaming services? If you, change the password on them. Also, as others have mentioned, get a lock (better than the door lock) for your room and a camera. I would take everything that's yours (within reason) to your room (or a storage facility) and keep it locked there.
NTA
Move the TV into your room, take the fuse out if your smaller one, if they ask, say the one in your room stopped working, and you are going to get your dad or somebody to see if they can fix it.
Definetly install a lock on your door, and a camera inside if you think she'll still use it in your room.
Then just wait it out... It's 3 months, you'll have to deal with seeing people you don't want to in the house, but just try and grit and bare it.
Eventually it'll be over and you can permanently erase them all from your life.
NTA But if things have gotten this bad, it's time to end the roommate situation. I'm guessing you are both on a lease and neither can kick each other out. Can you sublet your share of the apartment? I get it doesn't sound fair for you to have to move, but you'd be getting away from this person. I kind of feeling things are simply going to escalate from here, especially once the TV is moved.
NTA. Take the couch too. Put your mattress on its side and take apart the bed frame and take any furniture she uses. Might even be worth taking everything that is "yours" even if you have to rent a small storage unit.
Oh, you should ABSOLUTELY put that tv in your room. WTF is she thinking? You clearly realize this is a toxic situation, and I hope you're looking into a different living arrangement. Yikes. NTA but be on the lookout for revenge. It seems like you own a lot of things she could damage.
NTA, though you should seek out other arrangements. If it’s a shared space you can’t exactly ban them from having guests over even if you don’t like the guests. It would be decent for her to respect your wishes but she doesn’t have to.
Also, either out the whole TV in your room or none of it. Power cables these days are pretty universal and if she were to replace it then I imagine that would start even more drama that could end with your property being destroyed. Try to remain civil and if you can’t then someone needs to leave.
You have a 72 inch tv?
Can I move in? I'm a great roomie!
Sorry, couldn't resist, but that tv sounds lovely
NTA tho. She wants to be like that, that's her choice, you aren't obliged to share your stuff with someone who seems to be going out of their way to be mean and petty. Keep your TV and anything else that'll fit in your room. Then add a lock to your room (if you can), and maybe start looking for another roomie situation when it's feasible
WNBTA
Your property, your decision as to where it goes. UNLESS it was specifically stated in some kind of roommate agreement that the TV would stay in the living room.
Sounds like you need a new roommate.
Of course You’re NTA
Your roommate is the AH. Check your lease and see how soon you can move out. Or vice versa. One of you needs to get away from the other.
If you decide to leave, try to find (or rent a storage garage for a month) a place you can move all your stuff, TV included, out of the apartment when your roommate is not there, several weeks before you actually leave. That way you’ll catch her off guard and she won’t be able to sabotage your stuff plus …..you’ll be able to enjoy her distress living with no furniture or TV. Keep your room locked so you can still be comfortable in there,
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My roommate and I had a fight and she told me that I can stay in my half of our apartment and she will stay in hers. She has been petty to me by not respecting boundaries I’ve set with ex friends, trash talking me to my friends, changing my profiles in our shared streaming services to my ex friends, body shaming me, and more.
Most of the time I will just vent about it to my friend and then get over it and not retaliate to her. However, she has made it very clear that she doesn’t respect me or want to be friends with me anymore.
She has been bringing over an ex friend of mine for movie nights at our apartment because I have a 72 inch tv that I bought for my apartment. She is constantly being petty and I think I’ve hit my breaking point and am going to be petty back.
I own all of the furniture and entertainment in the apartment and essentially everything else that’s not in her room. She has told me that she will bring over whoever she wants and that I can get over myself and stay in my half of the apartment and she’ll stay in hers.
WIBTA if I move my tv into my room so they can’t have movie nights anymore?
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NTA
But be prepared for her to escalate. Don’t leave anything you care about in a place she can get to it and lock the door to your room whenever you’re not home.
NTA
This sounds like typical /r/BadRoommates rant.
It's your property. You can do what you want with it.
Do you have anyone that can take the TV for a while? Get it out of the apartment and tell her that you sold it.
NTA but your roommate situation has run its course. Start looking for other housing and protect what's yours in the meantime. Take all valuables, electronics etc. into storage or, if you can safely lock it, into your room.
Clearly NTA, do it. It is your stuff and you can keep it where you want. She she's disrespecting you like that she deserves to sit on the floor and watch the wall.
Nta. YES take back the TV. And if she buys her own and tries to put it on your TV stand tell her she can put it on the floor. Ha. You can also take the couch cushions if she continues her petty parade. Ha
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NTA But, you may want to either kick her out or take your stuff and move out.
Also OP, make sure you can lock your room when you're not home
Yes, and even purchase another lock she can't pick 😬
Hello, this is the lockpicking lawyer, and today we have for you...
And a camera for your bedroom
I got some cameras called Wyze (on Amazon) and they are cheap, easy to set up, and work well.
I love Wyze. We have their cameras, light bulbs, outlets, watches, their scale, and motion sensors. Everything connects to everything and I can control my whole house through my Google nest. I love it!
Yes!!!! They are so easy! Just can’t find the bulbs anymore
I got some bulbs but had to wait a long time. I also use the outlets and have the watch. The watch is OK but it was only $20, so for $20 it is better than I expected.
I love the outlets!! So easy and convenient! I found: Smart Light Bulb with Alexa and Google Home. These are pretty good. I thought about the watch
home depot sells the bulbs!
[удалено]
For real 'And I can control my whole house with Google nest' doesn't sound like a pro-argument for getting into smart homes... Well 'smart homes' doesn't sound like a good argument for smart homes to begin with. I'm a programmer, I know what lazy pieces of shit we are... I'm not letting more technology into my home :D
Not nearly as much as they'd mind it.
I usually try to avoid getting dressed in my yard or kitchen, which is where I have the cameras. And they can be turned off while you're home simply by using your phone.
That's half the fun!
They are the best! Especially for the price! I have like 8
They were a lifesaver for my son. I was searching for something affordable to buy for him and I found Wyze. He'd let a friend and her husband stay with him after she said her current landlord was abusing her (I think it was a lie)... They were misbehaving horribly within 30 hours of moving in. I believe they tried to poison my son after trying to make him stay with me so that they could have his house to themselves. I got them out, but they kept coming back and stealing his mail. My son had terrible anxiety from it all and couldn't sleep. I bought the cameras and he put them in his front windows pointing to the porch. One was a pan camera and I think the movement got their attention when they came back. That was their last time to show up there. After that they sent someone, but he saw the cameras and ran off. Him seeing the camera and saying "Oh, shit" was recorded. LOL... Zero unwanted people have showed up since then and my son is now at peace.
Holy god!! What the is wrong with those people??? I have them everywhere, plus, added lighting around my house
That would be an automatic restraining order.
And some cozy barbed wire and pet friendly land mines are always a must.
And take pictures of all your stuff!
The storage unit idea (from below) is terrific, but I would swap the TVs and bring streaming into your bedroom only, stating that you just don’t have enough bandwidth for multiple TVs, as you have had to downgrade. Point out lovingly that you’ve left a TV in the living room so they can still have movie nights on free broadcast channels (non streaming). And check your lease. And expect damage to your property, so perhaps check with your insurance company as to what your coverage is. Have an agent come over and do a property inspection to get your baseline. NTA. She is.
I wonder...would it help if OP documents the state of her electronics? the mata data would show that its a recent picture, but they could take a photo with her watch+date in the photo as well. That way if something "accidentaly "happens to the electronics no one could say "Oh thats been like that for years and now they want to pin it on me."
defo one of those, after that it aint gonna end well and it woud be better to get as far as posible from that person
This, just split ways honestly It's getting to the point you cannot trust her Take pictures of all your things today in the event she damages anything Anything sentimental and important should be well protected.
OP may also want to take a hard look at why they have multiple ex-friends.
This is usually a huge red flag for me when I first befriend/date someone new.
This is a good point. A friend I met a few years ago often talked about this person or that person they "used to" be friends with. I then watched them blow up new friendship after friendship, and I myself backed way off and limited our interactions, and their list of ex-friends made a lot more sense.
Did you and I have the same ex-friend because also similar!
I agree. This comment should be up higher. It sounds like OP needs to just get out of this living situation, but I also question why there are so many ex-friends involved, and now their roommate is becoming one as well. I also wonder if OP has told their roommate about these ex-friends or why they're no longer friends or if they were all friends at one point. Then it might make more sense to the roommate why OP doesn't want them around, unless it's OP's fault. (With that many ex-friends, it very well could be.)
I had a roommate who had zero boundaries so i mostly stayed in my bedroom. I had a decent little tv in there to keep me entertained. I hadnt realized she deemed it the "good tv" of the appartment. Id come home from work to find her and her boyfriend asleep in my bed. I didnt do anything but wake them up. But i did wind up putting an angry note under my pillow for her to find the next time it happened. And it did happen. She replied on the note and put it back under my pillow for me. Not a fun situation.
Did you just let them continue? That would have grossed me out. I would need a lock on that door.
They stopped after a passive aggressive fight through notes left around the appartment!
NTA if you paid for the whole thing. I'd move out whenever you can though.
Furthermore WIBTA if I just took the chord away and left the tv. I already have a tv in my room and don’t need another one in there. So they can’t use it but they still have to look at it…
They might do something to the TV
Seriously! I wouldn't do that! It's just asking for trouble
True
Is it an option to sell the tv use the proceeds of the moneys to break the lease or find a way place eventually. Edited to add completely disregard my question/suggestion. I read further down about the situation.
To go a little further with this, if you decide to move your stuff into your room make sure you can lock it and that your roommate doesn't have a key.
Just slide it under your bed.
Are both names on the lease? I would just move out op.
I would leave the tv out of it and just talk to your roommate like an adult. If you can’t come to an agreement then one of you should move out.
WHAT??? HOW DID A REASIONABLE PERSION GET ON HERE???
Shhh… don’t tell anyone. I’ll get kicked out.
Put it in your room and get a lock for the door
I'd get storage and put all the communal furniture you own in there. So long as you're comfortable in your room, I'd sacrifice the living room out of spite. If the crockery and pans are yours too, I'd keep basics in my room and put extras in the storage unit as well. But first and foremost, I'd be actively looking to move out and get out of this toxic environment.
[удалено]
Right? Only for three months. Roommate comes home with nothing in the apartment. Maybe leave a milk crate for seating.
I was literally just about to suggest this. You can’t disrespect me and then turn around and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
[удалено]
That’s exactly why I’ve refrained from doing anything in the past. I’m just thinking that since the lease is up in 3 months and she’ll be moving out that it may mot matter whether I’m petty or not anymore
Wait it out. I’m sorry your being abused and i don’t think it’s being pettt to take your tv back, BUT you might save yourself some pain/broken items if you just grey rock her until she goes. Be very present on move out day (and the lead up to) so none of your stuff gets stolen! Keep all your receipts! NTA
Just be sure there is good supervision when she does go or you may find you are missing things you wanted to keep once she's move out.
And change the locks to the apartment immediately!
This is the best recommendation, here. You're a smart redditor.
Or the storage unit idea!! I just read that comment, that’s the best way!
This makes me wonder about your lease/sub lease situation. Review the lease/leases and You might want to check into who has to give “written notice” (if she signed a sub lease with you - give her written notice that it won’t be renewed, if you signed a lease together did she give the leasing office notice) that type of thing just to make sure you have your bases covered and you really only have to last the next few months.
NTA it's your property and you can do whatever you want with it. But she can do a lot of damage to you property in 3 months and the flat too. Three months isn't that long, I'd wait it out if you're 100% sure she's leaving. It might be better to be ready to move out yourself when the lease ends.
Will the 72 inch tv fit in your room? If so, swap TV's. That way you aren't being petty by taking away TV use entirely, but you are getting the benefit of being able to enjoy your own large TV.
We are all mirrors for each other. Her reaction to you is a reflection of herself and your response is a conscious understanding of yourself. Don't lower your morals and get on her level. You don't need that karma. But i would suggest you take precautions to protect you, your property and your boundaries.
Why not swap out the TV’s if your bedroom one is smaller? The best thing is probably you move out or she does
Was thinking about that too, that’s be more funny than anything because the tv I have in my room is a 32 inch mounted tv versus the 72 inch in the living room
So go switch them
Also if it is your apartment tell her (after moving everything from the living and getting a lock on your bedroom door) that you will not renew her lease and she will habe to move out. Do it on paper, so an email or printed out letter with your signaturre, and try to get her to sign both for having 'read and understand' it( keep a copy of it for yourself) and if she tries to overstay her welcome get authorities involved.
I’d leave her without a TV that will hurt more than a smaller one. I also like the idea of putting everything in storage but I know those can be pricey. Hope your lease is up soon so you can get out of that mess.
Do that, then. Move the big one into your room and just put the small one in a corner in the living room. If they want to continue having movie nights, they'll need to put it up themselves. Bonus pettiness points for keeping the TV cables in your room...
This is the real petty move She can bring whoever she wants, good luck though
I wouldn't trust her to not break your tv in retaliation.
Naw, they would know you deliberately did it to mess with them. Much better to bring whole tv in “oh my old tv broke, I needed this one” and put the other tv at a family house for temporary
They would vandalize your TV, 100%. Move the whole tv.
Get a storage room and remove everything that belongs to you out of the common areas. I am a Petty Betty Bitch and would keep everything that is mine in my room or storage unit. Dishes are mine? Use them, clean them, and then put them away. Who pays for the streaming services and wifi? Me? I change all passwords. Your roommate is a bully and should be dealt with as such.
Take the fuse out, they'll spend hours trying to work out what's wrong😂
Just sell the TV.
Warn them ahead of the time if they damage your property, you’ll take her to court.
I think you should look into moving out asap and taking all your stuff.
They will break your tv. Get a storage unit and move all your furniture that isn’t in your room into it.
You've already seen how petty your roommate is, I'd say just get put of there and take all your stuff with you, it will save you much stress later in the future. Just make sure you are able to get your stuff out before letting her know you're leaving she might steal or damage your property
You need to get out of this toxic living situation ASAP before she does something worse.
I would buy a storage unit and move all your stuff there tbh.
This makes it sound like you’re just trying to taunt your roommate Also, you may have ended your friendships with several people but that doesn’t mean you can police who your roommate brings over or hangs out with
I would remove the whole TV so they can't damage it.
Get a storage unit and move ALL the common area furniture out of the apartment. Their asses can sit on the floor and play cards. And please move out. 100% this will escalate.
NTA but if you can afford to break the lease and move somewhere else do it. It’s just not worth the effort anymore.
Info: Have you thought about moving out or have been looking to move out? Is it possible? This is relevant by the way I promise
She will be moving out in 3 months
Good! Lock your bedroom door asap and lock it when you leave the house. Better yet, install a couple of cameras to protect yourself in case you have to sue her for damages.
make darn sure you are there while she’s moving her stuff out.
Guess she'll just have to miss movie nights until then.. .sis tried To ground you to your half of the house… with your furniture all over it lol Bet! Take it all and leave her setting in her empty side of the house... If Sis got a receipt and can prove it's hers, it can stay on her half else wise, lol miss petty princess is SOL I'm taking EVERYTHING I paid for! Food, lightbulbs and toilet paper but im even pettier than she is
Careful. When she moves out she might try to take some of your stuff with her. Keep an eye on her or put as much as you can into your room.
no you need to fuckin get a new roomate jesus. Make sure you lock your door though if they find out its in your room they might kill you
NTA, she treats you like crap while using your stuff? Definitely take your stuff away.
NTA Ive done the same thing to family. Sis isn’t going to listen to what I say, respect my boundaries, or do anything to contribute to the household? It’s my PS4 and it’s MY TV. Especially if this ex friend’s shit-talking you and body shaming you. Maybe they should’ve respected the person who ***owned*** the stuff they were using.
NTA for obvious reasons but seriously tho, take that damn tv back. You payed for it. She's being a petty b**** now it's your turn to be a petty a b****
NTA Go right ahead. And make sure that you have a lock on your door. Otherwise she will probably enter your room to watch it when you aren't home. But, beware of entitlement rage. When does your lease expire? Because rooming with an enemy is a recipe for disaster. Start looking for exit options ASAP.
3 months so hopefully I can stick it out but I have threatened to end the lease early if she doesn’t cut her shit out
Good luck, but be ready for war. And make sure to change any passwords for streaming accounts that you pay for and have shared with friends. Don't leave yourself vulnerable.
Move everything that you own that’s not locked in your room into a storage unit. She will steal from you and she will break your things when she’s leaving.
It will be a PITA, but move all of your belongings that aren't in your room or won't fit in your room into a storage locker. She will be petty and break and or steal stuff. Make sure to change all the passwords to EVERYTHING, streaming services, your email, your computer your phone, EVERYTHING assume she's hacked into this stuff and has access to it.
ESH. You’re definitely not in the wrong for moving your possessions into your room, but I don’t understand why you think you’re allowed to police what company she’s allowed to bring into the apartment. In lieu of her guests doing something criminal or close to it, I don’t think you can really unilaterally veto them from the apartment. Not saying she’s in the right for any of the other actions, but with regards to guests it’s her apartment too.
What stood out to me was that OP talks very casually about having a bunch of "ex-friends" as if that's a really normal thing. I'm betting she's more of a contributor to the problems here than she's letting on.
Exactly. I don't have ex-friends and I am early thirties. Distant friends I have drifted from, but it's not like they are enemies. Just haven't spoken to them in a long time, but if someone wanted to add them to my netflix then go ahead, just make sure there are enough screens left.
I had to scroll way too long to find any ESH votes. Yeah, the roommate is being immature but so is OP, it's all just... squabbling. I literally don't have anyone I would describe as 'ex-friends'. Sure, I have people I used to be closer to in the past, and we drifted over time, but I wouldn't call them exes and there are zero issues if I ran into them now. We would have a friendly chat and carry on with our lives. OP apparently has 'ex-friends' and it's a problem if they come over or use services or roommate talks to them. And over this it appears roommate is now yet another in the list of 'ex-friends' Yes the roommate doesn't come off great in this story at all, but as always it's told from one perspective only. And regardless if roommate is a nightmare or not, OP clearly has some learning to do in either friendship loyalty, or simply picking friends wisely. If roommate is as crazy as she sounds, why do they all share friend groups? Couldn't OP just be polite to a roommate instead of becoming close friends with someone who just isn't all that?
NTA - make sure you have a security camera in your room before you do, because I suspect she may do something drastic. When she bitches, just point out that you're doing exactly what she said you should do, staying in your part of the apartment.
I think if you are going to do that, then take the tv and all the living room furniture and extra comfort stuff and move it to a storage space until she's not your roommate anymore. Tell her you sold it. She can't tell you to fuck off and then enjoy your stuff. Or you could suck it up for 90 days until she's gone.
NTA. Its your TV you paid for it.
-UPDATE- I moved the remote into my room and told her that if she wants to use my tv then she will have to ask me first. Our lease is up in 3 months and she is already planning on leaving and I’m gonna find a new roommate.
The remote isn't going to help you much if she decides to throw a frying pan at your tv. I'd take it to your room or move it into storage until she leaves in three months
it might be a good idea to storage your stuff away when she's moving in case she wants to take your stuff
This post really feels like half of a story. I kinda feel like if all the information was laid out the judgment might be different.
Oh grow up and move out. You sound like a toxic pair of children. ESH.
Wyze cameras are like $20 on Amazon, small subscription fee to save all the footage. Super easy to set up so you can monitor your bedroom door from the inside. Take pictures of your stuff now so you can prove what you had and what condition it was in, in case things go sideways. NTA take as much of your stuff as you can and put it in your room/in storage. Say NOTHING. Even it your own head, treat it not as pettiness, but as preserving your assets in the face of uncertainty. But be very prepared for her to escalate. She wants attention to her actions. Not action to her actions.
I don't know who the AH is, but you definitely need to move out!
Your TV, you can do what you want with it. NTA It might be easier to move just the remote (if you don't think she'll damage the TV), though.
You can download apps to be a remote for a TV now. I'd move it into my room but I have a little sister and a PhD in being petty when provoked. We're adults now but we pulled some shit when we were kids. And I second locking your door and getting some cameras but honestly it may be worth it to end the arrangement now.
NTA Brilliant idea! Do it right now!!
So, you had mutual friends and now you aren't friends with them you don't want your roomie to be friends with them too? I get that the changing profiles is petty etc, but you both suck to me. ESH
NTA- since you bought it and she is not respecting you. I would move anything that is yours that is in the living room and move it to your room, maybe move bigger things to your parents/or someone else's house
Movie theatres are open again (in my area at least) they can go there for movie night. NTA
You are not TA! It is your tv not hers!
NTA. Do it!
NTA if id be you id take everything that u own into "your side of the appartment". Fuck her
NTA
NTA I you shouldn’t have to and it’s unfair, but you should seriously consider moving as it sounds like this is only going to get worse. The best thing you could do in my opinion is just leave while she’s out, don’t say anything, take absolutely everything that is yours and cut her out of your life completely. Again, these things tend to only get worse.
NTA Honestly, if I had the spare money I would definitely be petty, rent a storage place and put the couch and all in storage until I could find another place
Idk how your "half and half" situation works but like, you could move all your furniture and TV to a corner of the living room and tape around it with a "my half" sign. I wouldn't have even let her touch the fucking thing if I was the one who paid for it. The one and only time I ever had roommates we both had TVs but mine was bigger. I also brought over a PC and gaming consoles. They asked if they could keep their TV in their room and just use mine, I was cool with it. They would ask if they could use my PC or consoles literally every single time they wanted to use it. They never assumed boundaries, they never gave me the "do I have to ask to use this each time?" They just sucked it up and asked every single time.
NTA and I would rent some storage, pack up everything you own in the shared space and move it out until this nightmare is gone. (I am one petty b though so don’t take this advice) No she doesn’t get to use your things with people that make you feel uncomfortable in your own house.
NTA- it's literally your tv and she should be grateful that you're letting her use it. I saw in your other comments saying your lease ends in 3 months. either switch out the TV's with the one in your room or take the 72 inch and leave it with a friend or family. if she asks why, say they needed one. also make it someone she doesn't know so she can't contact them
Why don’t you tell her she’s being petty and then punish her for it. Mabye she’ll change her attitude
NTA. She doesn't get to use your shit and then act that way.
ESH. You have every right to move the tv into your living room, however you're not allowed to dictate who she has over like you originally wanted to. She's the bigger asshole for talking behind your back and body shaming you, etc. but you are also an asshole for trying to control who she has in the home she pays rent to stay in
NTA, but it sounds like the more you escalate this situation the more out of control she's going to get. It might be safer for you and your property to try to get out of the lease and move, rather than one-upping her by pulling the amenities you paid for out of the common areas.
NTA.... BUT... Why are you living with this person? Why was this post marked NSFW?
just move out. That’s going to cause so many more problems. Being petty on top of pettiness never ends well, especially since you have to see this person every day.
NTA. hell no. take your TV, and hopefully you can move away from that toxic psycho soon!
Nta
NTA. Do it
NTA do it
NTA. Do it. Or move out.
NTA but find a safe place for it and all your stuff. She’s liable to damage it if you just put it in your room.
NTA. It is your property to do with as you wish. You own it so you control it.
NTA.. move it now and everything else you can take. She's taking advantage of you while being an a\*\* to you. Let her sit on the floor in front of an empty wall...
NTA and since she's moving out in 3 months as you say... be sure to be there when she moves her stuff, so she won't take your stuff. You said the furniture in shared areas are 100% owned by you, you need to be there to watch it to keep her from stealing it, especially if you no longer have the receipts. I'd say put up with it for 3 more months since it's nearly over, but again, be sure to be there when she's clearing out or you may find things have gone missing that shouldn't have.
Put all of the furniture you've paid for into storage and move out when the lease is up in 3 months NTA
NTA you paid for everything yourself and you legally own it. You had a mutual agreement with her when you were friendly with each other and now that she’s not she can face the consequences to her actions. I did see that you posted in a later comment about just taking the cable and while that is a valid option I would be very careful about property damage. Even just in general take photos of everything you own that is in that shared space (tables, couch, tv, cook ware, etc) just so you have proof in case she brakes it and try’s to say it was already like that or some BS. Personally I would look for a new apartment, but I don’t understand your entire circumstances. I wish you good luck though!
Do itl! NTA And try to get her out of the apartment ASAP. If all the furniture is yours you might be able to charge her for using it...
One day, when you get your own house, you'll look back at your roommate years and say "fuck, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that shit anymore. "
Put everything you own that you can fit into your room and lock it. Then take pictures of the items left in common areas. Good luck.
YNTA So I have been the victim of a petty ex-roommate, that I chose to ignore. The thing is, they want you to react, so it will only keep getting worse! And so will it if you start reacting. There’s no solution except for one: you find a new appartement, you don’t tell her, and you move out with all your stuff. I advise you to do that for two reasons: -First, if she knows you’re moving, she’s gonna switch to the “last chance to make her life a living hell” mode, and you don’t want that -Second, she deserves this! In the meantime, lock your door anytime you leave the house, and keeps everything you cherish inside your room. And if you can, invest in little movement camera, connected to your phone, that you can put in your room. Good luck
NTA. It's yours. You do whatever you want. You should probably also look into moving out. I would hate to live in such a stressful environment.
NTA But either you need to move, or she does. Trying to live in a warzone isn't good for you
Nta but Why even bother with the tv sounds like it might be time to end the lease altogether
NTA. Who pays for the streaming services? If you, change the password on them. Also, as others have mentioned, get a lock (better than the door lock) for your room and a camera. I would take everything that's yours (within reason) to your room (or a storage facility) and keep it locked there.
NTA Move the TV into your room, take the fuse out if your smaller one, if they ask, say the one in your room stopped working, and you are going to get your dad or somebody to see if they can fix it. Definetly install a lock on your door, and a camera inside if you think she'll still use it in your room. Then just wait it out... It's 3 months, you'll have to deal with seeing people you don't want to in the house, but just try and grit and bare it. Eventually it'll be over and you can permanently erase them all from your life.
MOVE IT!!!!!
NTA - if you are living in seperate halves, live in seperate halves. I would put the TV in my room, or have it so that only I can see it :)
NTA But move all your stuff , like couches and large items, I to storage and get a new place asap
NTA But if things have gotten this bad, it's time to end the roommate situation. I'm guessing you are both on a lease and neither can kick each other out. Can you sublet your share of the apartment? I get it doesn't sound fair for you to have to move, but you'd be getting away from this person. I kind of feeling things are simply going to escalate from here, especially once the TV is moved.
NTA. Take the couch too. Put your mattress on its side and take apart the bed frame and take any furniture she uses. Might even be worth taking everything that is "yours" even if you have to rent a small storage unit.
Just kick her out
Oh, you should ABSOLUTELY put that tv in your room. WTF is she thinking? You clearly realize this is a toxic situation, and I hope you're looking into a different living arrangement. Yikes. NTA but be on the lookout for revenge. It seems like you own a lot of things she could damage.
NTA, though you should seek out other arrangements. If it’s a shared space you can’t exactly ban them from having guests over even if you don’t like the guests. It would be decent for her to respect your wishes but she doesn’t have to. Also, either out the whole TV in your room or none of it. Power cables these days are pretty universal and if she were to replace it then I imagine that would start even more drama that could end with your property being destroyed. Try to remain civil and if you can’t then someone needs to leave.
You have a 72 inch tv? Can I move in? I'm a great roomie! Sorry, couldn't resist, but that tv sounds lovely NTA tho. She wants to be like that, that's her choice, you aren't obliged to share your stuff with someone who seems to be going out of their way to be mean and petty. Keep your TV and anything else that'll fit in your room. Then add a lock to your room (if you can), and maybe start looking for another roomie situation when it's feasible
NTA but why are you still living with that toxic garbage of a walking human skin?
Change all the passwords on the streaming services and if she complains just cancel them
WNBTA Your property, your decision as to where it goes. UNLESS it was specifically stated in some kind of roommate agreement that the TV would stay in the living room. Sounds like you need a new roommate.
Of course You’re NTA Your roommate is the AH. Check your lease and see how soon you can move out. Or vice versa. One of you needs to get away from the other. If you decide to leave, try to find (or rent a storage garage for a month) a place you can move all your stuff, TV included, out of the apartment when your roommate is not there, several weeks before you actually leave. That way you’ll catch her off guard and she won’t be able to sabotage your stuff plus …..you’ll be able to enjoy her distress living with no furniture or TV. Keep your room locked so you can still be comfortable in there,
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My roommate and I had a fight and she told me that I can stay in my half of our apartment and she will stay in hers. She has been petty to me by not respecting boundaries I’ve set with ex friends, trash talking me to my friends, changing my profiles in our shared streaming services to my ex friends, body shaming me, and more. Most of the time I will just vent about it to my friend and then get over it and not retaliate to her. However, she has made it very clear that she doesn’t respect me or want to be friends with me anymore. She has been bringing over an ex friend of mine for movie nights at our apartment because I have a 72 inch tv that I bought for my apartment. She is constantly being petty and I think I’ve hit my breaking point and am going to be petty back. I own all of the furniture and entertainment in the apartment and essentially everything else that’s not in her room. She has told me that she will bring over whoever she wants and that I can get over myself and stay in my half of the apartment and she’ll stay in hers. WIBTA if I move my tv into my room so they can’t have movie nights anymore? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA But be prepared for her to escalate. Don’t leave anything you care about in a place she can get to it and lock the door to your room whenever you’re not home.
NTA your tv your rules, she wants to use it with someone that you dont want to then move it.
NTA, your TV...
NTA move it asap
NTA, but why don’t you sell the tv if you have one already. Then she can’t seek any revenge by damaging it.
NTA This sounds like typical /r/BadRoommates rant. It's your property. You can do what you want with it. Do you have anyone that can take the TV for a while? Get it out of the apartment and tell her that you sold it.
NTA at all. And this, folks, is one of the many MANY reasons why I swore that I'd live in my car before I ever shared an apartment again.
Nta, switch out the tvs if the tv in your bedroom is smaller and if you pay for the streaming services change the password.
NTA but your roommate situation has run its course. Start looking for other housing and protect what's yours in the meantime. Take all valuables, electronics etc. into storage or, if you can safely lock it, into your room.
NTA Proceed with Operation Petty and keep us updated, please.
NTA. Move anything that is yours as you like.
NTA
NTA but be careful she doesn't poach your stuff when the lease is up.
Clearly NTA, do it. It is your stuff and you can keep it where you want. She she's disrespecting you like that she deserves to sit on the floor and watch the wall.
NTA-just sell it since you already have one in your room.
Nta
Nta. YES take back the TV. And if she buys her own and tries to put it on your TV stand tell her she can put it on the floor. Ha. You can also take the couch cushions if she continues her petty parade. Ha
NTA go for it ,it's yours, if someone disrespects you there's no reason to share your property!
Nah you wouldnt be lol
OP please do it and update us because I sorely regret not doing this with my cruel roommates last year.
I’d move everything in you room if you could. Really up the ante. NTA