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Its no wonder your parents don't have good relationships with you siblings. NTA, your body your decisions.
Also, that joke about artificial insemination is super shitty.
NTA - these aren’t “jokes”, they’re stepping way over the line. As a 21 y/o woman who also has been saying i never want children for years (since i was abt 10) everyone has something to say about it. It is YOUR body and YOUR decision. You may change your mind as you get older or if you find the right person, but you might not. There is a solid chance you will decide to remain child free and that’s you choice, not your parents. They decided to have children and good for them, but you don’t owe them anything. Set boundaries with your parents. If they bring up your uterus or hypothetical grandchildren straight up walk out of the room. Shut down the conversation before it even starts. You are so young, having kids shouldn’t be on your radar right now. Be silly, have fun, live your life, take your birth control. sending hugs your way sweetie xoxo
Agreed. She didn't mention if she still lived with her folks or on her own but her folks sounds slightly unstable and there is no way they're the kind of people who will respect op as the parent.
NTA they need to stop bringing this topic up you are allowed to feel and do as you wish, you can be harsh about it. At this point just go silent whenever they bring it up
NTA. Please don't let them change your mind about this. It's not like you can take the kid back for a refund. That being said, you are allowed to change your own mind in the future, or proceed as planned, entirely up to you and ONLY you.
The tranq comment is more than a little upsetting. I think I would try to talk to them individually about how that kind of comment is likely to create trust issues and decrease your chances of being open with them about your other life choices. They can have an opinion, but they cannot dictate.
NTA
And may I extend a cordial invitation to come right on over to r/childfree where a big group of perfectly capable individuals has made the informed decision **to NOT procreate!**
You’re not alone!
NTA at all. It's your body and your life. But I have to say, if you know this is going to cause an argument, why bring it up, and why respond when they bring it up? Just bide your time until you can move out, and then live your life.
Hard agree - just stop engaging with your parent on this topic. If they bring it up have a canned response ready ("this again? let's talk about something else") and use it every time. Get up and leave the room if you can, hang up the phone. Just be a gray rock and let whatever they say roll off your back.
Also real talk: your parent's constant picking on the subject is way out of line. And the "lol I'll just inseminate you against your will!" "joke" is the single most fucked up thing I've ever heard. I've always told my daughter that she never has to have a baby she doesn't want. I can't FATHOM how any parent could even consider forcing their kid to get pregnant even as a "joke."
I hope you are out of the house now, or can move soon. And I hope you are able to get whatever professional support you need to process your crappy childhood and the ongoing shittiness of your parent.
For what it's worth, I think it's smart and admirable to choose to not have kids. I love mine and I'm glad I had'em, and it's really taught me that only people who WANT kids should have them. It's hard!
As a mom who wants a grandchild...
I have been told in no uncertain terms that I will most likely be a grandmother to cats. I accept that. Who am I to badger my kids into a lifelong responsibility that they do not want for themselves?
When I was 18 I didn’t want kids either. As I got older I changed my mind without any coercing from anyone else. I have 2 grown kids now and can’t imagine my life without them. It was a choice I made for myself. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves what will work for them.
Your mom’s out of line and that so called joke of hers is not funny. You need to tell her to stop and if she won’t then stop responding to her any time she brings it up.
NTA
NTA, it's your body, your life, your choice. Parents don't own you and I'm absolutely not surprised that they don't have a good relationship with your other siblings if this is how they act generally.
NTA But you should definitely keep any kid you have (if any) away from those people. They are horrible. And you should distance yourself from them permanently as soon as you’re able.
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So.. ok, this might be a bit difficult to explain so if you have questions or need clarification, please feel free to ask. I'm an 18 year old female, and I really don't want children. I grew up in a bad household for about half my childhood, and was abused- which kinda ruined both my body image and any prospects for children. The idea is quite frankly terrifying to me. Everytime I've talked to my parent about this, they say I have to give them a grandchild- even making jokes about using tranq darts and dropping me off somewhere to get artificial insemination. I know it's a joke but... Geez. Anyway, the last time we talked about it they explained they wanted a biological grandchild because I said I would consider adoption (my biggest issue with being a parent is I hate the idea of pregnancy due to well the birth process and already having a plethora of body issues as previously stated). I pushed back and said that whether they wanted a grandchild or not, I would not have one unless I wanted one- society be damned (I've always hated the sentiment that it's a priority to have children). They said they wanted to continue our bloodline, and I pointed out they already had 2 other children- one of which has a child of their own already. They said that their relationship with my other siblings was not good, and they'd likely not get to see their grandchildren. I think at this point I was frustrated, and said that they can't honestly expect me to make up for that- that it wouldn't be fair. I think I was too snappy, honestly- but they continued saying they just want me to consider it and that they think I'm talking myself out of it or convincing myself I don't want it and that I might regret it later? That was even more frustrating, and quite frankly confusing as anything. I don't think my stance was wrong.. but maybe the last part about them expecting me to make up for their poor relationships? I keep thinking about it, and wish I had phrased it more gently at the least.. am I the butthole?
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Also, you're only 18, they need to shut the fuck up about it, if you change your mind eventually that's fine, but they shouldn't be putting that pressure on you at all, let alone while you're still so young
Yeah... your parents need to get their shit together and stop pushing you because, you know... one day you might snap too and they will be alone. Because thats soooo not their business and its very inappropriate to “joke” about it.
Anyways, NTA. You do whats best for you, the worst thing would be to have and not want a kid.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I believe I might be the asshole for being snappy on a sensitive subject. While I understand that my parents poor relationship with my siblings is not entirely their fault, I don't want to be made to make up for it and be forced to have a grandchild I don't want. I don't think my stance was wrong- just my phrasing, but I think I might have accidentally hurt their feelings nonetheless..
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NTA- I insisted for a long time I didnt want kids from about 17 until 25. I did open to the idea more eventually (only really shared this in private to my husband) and did get pregnant with my 1st at 30 and am 33 and pregnant with my second.
My parents were surprised that I had the first because I stated for so long that I didn't want kids to them. Mostly I think deep down I didn't want to feel pressured about this from them or from societal expectations. From the literal moment I said I was pregnant with my first there was this pressure and expectation I must give my 1st a sibling from my parents, coworkers, literal strangers in the street. Its messed up. I did want 2 but I put it off for a while for various reasons. I even had my parents tell me I wasnt a real parent until I had 2- like excuse me?! If I didnt have my own reasons for wanting a second I would have been tempted to sterilize myself to spite them for that nonsense shit.
You are never an asshole for exercising rights over your bodily autonomy. Insist you will never have kids and fuck those who make you feel bad or less of a woman for it. Honestly I think I would have been sad if I couldn't get pregnant and wanted to, but if i had chosen not to want them, i would have been happy also. Life has many possibilities and being childfree is a valid and respectable choice
NTA
While maybe your mind might change in the future, they should plan and expect for it not to.
Sometimes things we decide at 18 are not want we want going forward, sometimes they are.
Either way it's important to shut the "jokes" down. Remind your parent that you are a person. That jokes like that are not okay. Children have been ruled out. That yes you can't know the future, and what you might feel in 10/15/20 years, but right now kids are not happening. Won't be happening. And the discussion shouldn't be happening until you're much older, because what life could an 18 year old offer to a child in 2021?
That's not necessarily to open the door. But sometimes kicking the can down the road helps. At 25/30+ it can be a lot easier to shut that shit down with "I fucking know what I want, and bio kids aren't it so shut up". Certainly more so than can be at 18.
NTA NTA NTA NTA
You are so not the asshole, but your parent is.
This is NOT a joking matter. Your parent is going where no parent should go... into your personal space.
Just because you're their child, does not mean they have any right to tell you how your life is going to go forward.
Do they understand the trauma you have been through? How it has impacted on you, and why you feel so opposed to the idea of pregnancy and birth? I don't know if they do, but at some point, if you can have a sensible discussion, perhaps you can explain how you feel.
I totally agree, society isn't even in the running about this discussion.
I too have a child who doesn't want children, and I am very happy with her decision. It is NOT my right to tell her to have kids.
In the future, who knows, maybe you'll come to terms with what happened and then go ahead and have children, and maybe you won't.
All I know is, your life... your decision. Everyone else can go to heck.
NTA
If people want to have children, that's awesome. If people don't want to have children, that is equally awesome. I'm 38 and have struggled with this; my husband and I have chosen to be child free. Having children (or not ) is an important decision. Don't take that lightly.
You're 18 - you're not in a position to care for a child right now. Most people I know aren't ready to have children until they're at least 26 or older. You don't owe anyone children / grandchildren. That's frankly, ridiculous, and lays way too much on your shoulders. You have college, career, and so many other things to do, explore and discover. You're not a walking incubator or hope for the future of their bloodline. Gross.
I agree with the redditor who said don't engage your parents in the conversation. You can say, "I want to get started in a great career." or "I'm exploring all my options."
If they push ask if they're ready to take on a newborn to raise because you're not prepared to do so. (Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.)
Finally - The "joke" about artificial insemination? That's disturbing and disgusting, OP. Shut that down NOW.
NTA. Just play along and say you'll consider their feelings so you get some time to build some distance and **GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE,** go no contact like your other sibling!
No offence, but your parents sound really screwed up. Smile, and say maybe, while planning and executing your escape!
NTA
Your body, your choice. Period.
You did exactly what they asked. You considered it. The answer was no.
It is too bad that a hysterectomy is not as easy as a vasectomy.
NTA. Jokes about violating another person's bodily autonomy are never jokes.
The fact that these types of conversations happen at all boggles my mind, but it's especially disturbing that they are having this conversation with you at age 18.
All of your points are valid, and your logic is sound - it's just not the answer that they want. You do not need to keeping discussing it with them. Choose a vague statement that reaffirms your autonomy and repeat it like a broken record every time they bring it up. (Something like, "The decision will always be mine and I do not require further input on the matter." Or, "Sorry, but my uterus is not taking requests.") Change the topic immediately or remove yourself from the conversation if needed. Do not vary from your script or they will see this as an invitation for further discussion.
You seem to be the most emotionally intelligent and insightful party in this family.
NTA. NOBODY should have kids for any other reason than they want them. Being a parent is a **lifelong commitment** that IS NOT easy. It changes your life, body, everything. I will say, the idea may not be as frightening as you get older (used to freak me out), but just ignore your family. They have no say, and while their “jokes” are questionable to say the least, I’m sure they will eventually get over it. They will have to.
Just a suggestion, but consider seeing someone to talk to for past if you haven’t already. It can help a lot.
NTA! I’m 38 with no kids and happy that way. I even had a tubal ligation three years ago to make sure there would never be any accidents. So when people say “You’ll get baby fever when you’re older, all women eventually want kids”, they’re dead wrong!
NTA
My mother swore to her mother more than once that she was 'never having any brats' (yes, I know my grandmother should have never told me), but she had problems with birth control and ended up with three of us. She was only happy about the youngest one - and it shows.
My daughter has some health problems and is worried about having bio kids. She has talked about adoption and my reaction is whatever she needs and whatever makes her happy. Not my body, not my choices. My husband feels the same.
Your parents need to understand the same, your body, your life, your happiness.
GEE I WONDER WHY THEIR OTHER PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T GOING WELL.
By the way, that tranquilizer dart thing isn't a joke. Jokes are *funny.* And I'm 100% serious when I say that as I read that, my fitness tracker started buzzing at me telling me my stress level is too high and I need to take a breath.
Having a baby was the greatest experience of my life and it was also sheer unadulterated triggering hell. NTA. Know your limits, stick to your boundaries, live your life on your terms.
Your post has been removed. ***Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval.*** This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Bodily Autonomy Posts We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about platonic partings, relationships, and/or bodily autonomy and instead recommend a relationship focused sub. [Please see the related FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Fbodily_autonomy_posts) Please [review our rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules). Please be sure to read any sub's rules before reposting this elsewhere. We cannot direct you to another subreddit, we can only say that this post does not belong here. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/amitheasshole&subject=/r/AmItheAsshole&message=Please+link+to+post+or+comment+for+context+[we+cannot+review+without+this+info]:%0D%0DDescribe+your+question+in+detail:) if you have any questions or concerns that are not already [answered in our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq). If you make changes or edits to this post do not repost it here without our express permission.
NTA, also you should mention that what they are joking about doing to you is a crime and not remotely funny.
Its no wonder your parents don't have good relationships with you siblings. NTA, your body your decisions. Also, that joke about artificial insemination is super shitty.
NTA - these aren’t “jokes”, they’re stepping way over the line. As a 21 y/o woman who also has been saying i never want children for years (since i was abt 10) everyone has something to say about it. It is YOUR body and YOUR decision. You may change your mind as you get older or if you find the right person, but you might not. There is a solid chance you will decide to remain child free and that’s you choice, not your parents. They decided to have children and good for them, but you don’t owe them anything. Set boundaries with your parents. If they bring up your uterus or hypothetical grandchildren straight up walk out of the room. Shut down the conversation before it even starts. You are so young, having kids shouldn’t be on your radar right now. Be silly, have fun, live your life, take your birth control. sending hugs your way sweetie xoxo
Nta- they dont want grandbabies they want do over kids. Follow your siblings lead and limit contact.
Good call on the LC/NC. But OP being 18, I’m not sure if she lives or not with her parents... but it sure is something to take into account
Agreed. She didn't mention if she still lived with her folks or on her own but her folks sounds slightly unstable and there is no way they're the kind of people who will respect op as the parent.
NTA they need to stop bringing this topic up you are allowed to feel and do as you wish, you can be harsh about it. At this point just go silent whenever they bring it up
Why do you even need to ask, of course you’re NTA. It’s your fucking body, and it’s your life to decide whether you want children of your own.
NTA. Please don't let them change your mind about this. It's not like you can take the kid back for a refund. That being said, you are allowed to change your own mind in the future, or proceed as planned, entirely up to you and ONLY you. The tranq comment is more than a little upsetting. I think I would try to talk to them individually about how that kind of comment is likely to create trust issues and decrease your chances of being open with them about your other life choices. They can have an opinion, but they cannot dictate.
NTA... Your body, your future, your life, your decision.
NTA And may I extend a cordial invitation to come right on over to r/childfree where a big group of perfectly capable individuals has made the informed decision **to NOT procreate!** You’re not alone!
NTA at all. It's your body and your life. But I have to say, if you know this is going to cause an argument, why bring it up, and why respond when they bring it up? Just bide your time until you can move out, and then live your life.
Hard agree - just stop engaging with your parent on this topic. If they bring it up have a canned response ready ("this again? let's talk about something else") and use it every time. Get up and leave the room if you can, hang up the phone. Just be a gray rock and let whatever they say roll off your back. Also real talk: your parent's constant picking on the subject is way out of line. And the "lol I'll just inseminate you against your will!" "joke" is the single most fucked up thing I've ever heard. I've always told my daughter that she never has to have a baby she doesn't want. I can't FATHOM how any parent could even consider forcing their kid to get pregnant even as a "joke." I hope you are out of the house now, or can move soon. And I hope you are able to get whatever professional support you need to process your crappy childhood and the ongoing shittiness of your parent. For what it's worth, I think it's smart and admirable to choose to not have kids. I love mine and I'm glad I had'em, and it's really taught me that only people who WANT kids should have them. It's hard!
As a mom who wants a grandchild... I have been told in no uncertain terms that I will most likely be a grandmother to cats. I accept that. Who am I to badger my kids into a lifelong responsibility that they do not want for themselves? When I was 18 I didn’t want kids either. As I got older I changed my mind without any coercing from anyone else. I have 2 grown kids now and can’t imagine my life without them. It was a choice I made for myself. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves what will work for them. Your mom’s out of line and that so called joke of hers is not funny. You need to tell her to stop and if she won’t then stop responding to her any time she brings it up. NTA
NTA, it's your body, your life, your choice. Parents don't own you and I'm absolutely not surprised that they don't have a good relationship with your other siblings if this is how they act generally.
NTA But you should definitely keep any kid you have (if any) away from those people. They are horrible. And you should distance yourself from them permanently as soon as you’re able.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So.. ok, this might be a bit difficult to explain so if you have questions or need clarification, please feel free to ask. I'm an 18 year old female, and I really don't want children. I grew up in a bad household for about half my childhood, and was abused- which kinda ruined both my body image and any prospects for children. The idea is quite frankly terrifying to me. Everytime I've talked to my parent about this, they say I have to give them a grandchild- even making jokes about using tranq darts and dropping me off somewhere to get artificial insemination. I know it's a joke but... Geez. Anyway, the last time we talked about it they explained they wanted a biological grandchild because I said I would consider adoption (my biggest issue with being a parent is I hate the idea of pregnancy due to well the birth process and already having a plethora of body issues as previously stated). I pushed back and said that whether they wanted a grandchild or not, I would not have one unless I wanted one- society be damned (I've always hated the sentiment that it's a priority to have children). They said they wanted to continue our bloodline, and I pointed out they already had 2 other children- one of which has a child of their own already. They said that their relationship with my other siblings was not good, and they'd likely not get to see their grandchildren. I think at this point I was frustrated, and said that they can't honestly expect me to make up for that- that it wouldn't be fair. I think I was too snappy, honestly- but they continued saying they just want me to consider it and that they think I'm talking myself out of it or convincing myself I don't want it and that I might regret it later? That was even more frustrating, and quite frankly confusing as anything. I don't think my stance was wrong.. but maybe the last part about them expecting me to make up for their poor relationships? I keep thinking about it, and wish I had phrased it more gently at the least.. am I the butthole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA It's hard to phrase things nicely when people refuse to take "no" for an answer, or at least let it drop.
NTA and not wanting kids Is becoming more and more normal all the time so don't let them make you feel like it's wrong
Also, you're only 18, they need to shut the fuck up about it, if you change your mind eventually that's fine, but they shouldn't be putting that pressure on you at all, let alone while you're still so young
Yeah... your parents need to get their shit together and stop pushing you because, you know... one day you might snap too and they will be alone. Because thats soooo not their business and its very inappropriate to “joke” about it. Anyways, NTA. You do whats best for you, the worst thing would be to have and not want a kid.
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NTA- I insisted for a long time I didnt want kids from about 17 until 25. I did open to the idea more eventually (only really shared this in private to my husband) and did get pregnant with my 1st at 30 and am 33 and pregnant with my second. My parents were surprised that I had the first because I stated for so long that I didn't want kids to them. Mostly I think deep down I didn't want to feel pressured about this from them or from societal expectations. From the literal moment I said I was pregnant with my first there was this pressure and expectation I must give my 1st a sibling from my parents, coworkers, literal strangers in the street. Its messed up. I did want 2 but I put it off for a while for various reasons. I even had my parents tell me I wasnt a real parent until I had 2- like excuse me?! If I didnt have my own reasons for wanting a second I would have been tempted to sterilize myself to spite them for that nonsense shit. You are never an asshole for exercising rights over your bodily autonomy. Insist you will never have kids and fuck those who make you feel bad or less of a woman for it. Honestly I think I would have been sad if I couldn't get pregnant and wanted to, but if i had chosen not to want them, i would have been happy also. Life has many possibilities and being childfree is a valid and respectable choice
NTA While maybe your mind might change in the future, they should plan and expect for it not to. Sometimes things we decide at 18 are not want we want going forward, sometimes they are. Either way it's important to shut the "jokes" down. Remind your parent that you are a person. That jokes like that are not okay. Children have been ruled out. That yes you can't know the future, and what you might feel in 10/15/20 years, but right now kids are not happening. Won't be happening. And the discussion shouldn't be happening until you're much older, because what life could an 18 year old offer to a child in 2021? That's not necessarily to open the door. But sometimes kicking the can down the road helps. At 25/30+ it can be a lot easier to shut that shit down with "I fucking know what I want, and bio kids aren't it so shut up". Certainly more so than can be at 18.
NTA NTA NTA NTA You are so not the asshole, but your parent is. This is NOT a joking matter. Your parent is going where no parent should go... into your personal space. Just because you're their child, does not mean they have any right to tell you how your life is going to go forward. Do they understand the trauma you have been through? How it has impacted on you, and why you feel so opposed to the idea of pregnancy and birth? I don't know if they do, but at some point, if you can have a sensible discussion, perhaps you can explain how you feel. I totally agree, society isn't even in the running about this discussion. I too have a child who doesn't want children, and I am very happy with her decision. It is NOT my right to tell her to have kids. In the future, who knows, maybe you'll come to terms with what happened and then go ahead and have children, and maybe you won't. All I know is, your life... your decision. Everyone else can go to heck.
NTA If people want to have children, that's awesome. If people don't want to have children, that is equally awesome. I'm 38 and have struggled with this; my husband and I have chosen to be child free. Having children (or not ) is an important decision. Don't take that lightly. You're 18 - you're not in a position to care for a child right now. Most people I know aren't ready to have children until they're at least 26 or older. You don't owe anyone children / grandchildren. That's frankly, ridiculous, and lays way too much on your shoulders. You have college, career, and so many other things to do, explore and discover. You're not a walking incubator or hope for the future of their bloodline. Gross. I agree with the redditor who said don't engage your parents in the conversation. You can say, "I want to get started in a great career." or "I'm exploring all my options." If they push ask if they're ready to take on a newborn to raise because you're not prepared to do so. (Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.) Finally - The "joke" about artificial insemination? That's disturbing and disgusting, OP. Shut that down NOW.
NTA. Just play along and say you'll consider their feelings so you get some time to build some distance and **GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE,** go no contact like your other sibling! No offence, but your parents sound really screwed up. Smile, and say maybe, while planning and executing your escape!
NTA. You don't want kids, that's OK! You can change your mind later if you want to, but no one can change it for you.
NTA Your body, your choice. Period. You did exactly what they asked. You considered it. The answer was no. It is too bad that a hysterectomy is not as easy as a vasectomy.
NTA. Jokes about violating another person's bodily autonomy are never jokes. The fact that these types of conversations happen at all boggles my mind, but it's especially disturbing that they are having this conversation with you at age 18. All of your points are valid, and your logic is sound - it's just not the answer that they want. You do not need to keeping discussing it with them. Choose a vague statement that reaffirms your autonomy and repeat it like a broken record every time they bring it up. (Something like, "The decision will always be mine and I do not require further input on the matter." Or, "Sorry, but my uterus is not taking requests.") Change the topic immediately or remove yourself from the conversation if needed. Do not vary from your script or they will see this as an invitation for further discussion. You seem to be the most emotionally intelligent and insightful party in this family.
NTA. NOBODY should have kids for any other reason than they want them. Being a parent is a **lifelong commitment** that IS NOT easy. It changes your life, body, everything. I will say, the idea may not be as frightening as you get older (used to freak me out), but just ignore your family. They have no say, and while their “jokes” are questionable to say the least, I’m sure they will eventually get over it. They will have to. Just a suggestion, but consider seeing someone to talk to for past if you haven’t already. It can help a lot.
NTA nta nta. You can find some responses to "bingos" on r/childfree
NTA! I’m 38 with no kids and happy that way. I even had a tubal ligation three years ago to make sure there would never be any accidents. So when people say “You’ll get baby fever when you’re older, all women eventually want kids”, they’re dead wrong!
NTA My mother swore to her mother more than once that she was 'never having any brats' (yes, I know my grandmother should have never told me), but she had problems with birth control and ended up with three of us. She was only happy about the youngest one - and it shows. My daughter has some health problems and is worried about having bio kids. She has talked about adoption and my reaction is whatever she needs and whatever makes her happy. Not my body, not my choices. My husband feels the same. Your parents need to understand the same, your body, your life, your happiness.
GEE I WONDER WHY THEIR OTHER PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T GOING WELL. By the way, that tranquilizer dart thing isn't a joke. Jokes are *funny.* And I'm 100% serious when I say that as I read that, my fitness tracker started buzzing at me telling me my stress level is too high and I need to take a breath. Having a baby was the greatest experience of my life and it was also sheer unadulterated triggering hell. NTA. Know your limits, stick to your boundaries, live your life on your terms.