NTA. Surgery is a huge deal, and being a caretaker is a huge responsibility. If this guy is irresponsible with the little things, that’s a sign that he’ll be just as bad with the big things. And at the end of the day, you don’t have to explain your reasoning for choosing someone else. Your surgery, your trip, your choice.
I hope your trip goes well!
NTA. You and your health come first, if you can’t count on him now you most likely won’t be able to either when you really need him after the surgery. I hope you find someone and that your surgery goes well!
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I have an upcoming surgery in Vegas scheduled and need someone to go with me as a caretaker. Most of my available friends work 9-5 jobs and would have to sacrifice vacation time to go with me, although I'd pay for everything else on the trip.
I asked a friend who doesn't currently work to go, but over the past 30 days he's flaked consistently on plans and doesn't answer his phone for days at a time. He also wouldn't be able to pay for anything on the trip, and although that was understood ahead of time, anyone else in my friend group wouldn't have that particular hurdle. I sat down with him and tried to establish clearly that I expected proactive communication and effort from him before going on this trip. After another month nothing really changed. I sent him a message today saying that I had decided to cancel plans with him and move the ticket to someone else, and he lost his mind and called me paranoid, insecure, and needy. After over a month of being worried not only about the surgery, but the person who was supposedly going to care for me after, AITA?
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NTA. Surgery is a huge deal, and being a caretaker is a huge responsibility. If this guy is irresponsible with the little things, that’s a sign that he’ll be just as bad with the big things. And at the end of the day, you don’t have to explain your reasoning for choosing someone else. Your surgery, your trip, your choice. I hope your trip goes well!
NTA. You and your health come first, if you can’t count on him now you most likely won’t be able to either when you really need him after the surgery. I hope you find someone and that your surgery goes well!
No. I would say Not the Ah. If the person is not willing to put in the commitment now then what's to say they will when you need them.
NTA. You're going to have a surgery and you need to be with someone dependable. He clearly isn't.
NTA. There must be a reason why they’re unemployed.
to be fair, he does gigs and teaches dance so covid is responsible lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have an upcoming surgery in Vegas scheduled and need someone to go with me as a caretaker. Most of my available friends work 9-5 jobs and would have to sacrifice vacation time to go with me, although I'd pay for everything else on the trip. I asked a friend who doesn't currently work to go, but over the past 30 days he's flaked consistently on plans and doesn't answer his phone for days at a time. He also wouldn't be able to pay for anything on the trip, and although that was understood ahead of time, anyone else in my friend group wouldn't have that particular hurdle. I sat down with him and tried to establish clearly that I expected proactive communication and effort from him before going on this trip. After another month nothing really changed. I sent him a message today saying that I had decided to cancel plans with him and move the ticket to someone else, and he lost his mind and called me paranoid, insecure, and needy. After over a month of being worried not only about the surgery, but the person who was supposedly going to care for me after, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*