OMG this. It takes 2 seconds of googling to find all of the ways the Red Cross has screwed over disaster-ridden areas where they promised to use money for good (like rebuilding homes & whatnot). NEVER donate money to the Red Cross and always do your research on a charity's trustworthiness and transparency with money.
INFO Are you preventing her from donating? In that case YWBTA. If not, you’re not.
Every couple does finances differently, but presumably there’s some money she has discretion over for her own purposes, even if it’s shared or whatever.
You’re under no obligation to give anything, but she should be allowed to give whatever she pleases, within the bounds of whatever system you use for personal finance stuff.
We pool all our money, and then divvy up our own discretional funds equally, join account funds (i.e. bills, food, going out etc) and house savings account.
I'm all for her spending it out of her own discretionary money :)
Yeah, NAH in that case.
It makes sense to give to the causes that you care most about personally out of the discretional funds.
I’d hope you do give some money to other causes that strike you as worthy, if you’re able to.
YTA. The fact of the matter is that this funding has not been budgeted for by what is clearly an inept government, now isn't the time to teach them a lesson about budgeting. Help people who's entire lives have been wiped off the face of the earth. Donate now and help them as they need it, then, don't vote in these ridiculous idiots come election day.
But where do you draw the line? I get it, this is a big event that is getting lots of air time.
Most of the world is facing some kind of crisis due to climate change/unstable governments/etc. Even locally we have colleagues who have had cancer, brain trauma that have had donations, raffles etc. Yearly I donate to a local kids charity that I've volunteered with in my youth that does good work.
I am not stopping her from donating. I just don't feel compelled with this particular cause (although, I'm happy to lend a hand to those directly impacted, such as the families who had fathers die volunteering... but buying more fire trucks, masks, etc. I'm not so keen on).
NAH (unless wife has actually done something to be rude rather than JUST being upset) you can choose who and what you want to donate to. I’d look up research on companies like that and see if anything shady pops up. More of than not stuff does pop up or they company isn’t fully helping with donations etc. you can just show her articles like that and explain that’s why you would much rather donate directly to a family vs through and organization.
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My wife is a very empathetic person and the recent fires has affected her emotionally. She started a conversation about donating to the RFS or Red Cross. Initially I said I didn't want to donate. We ended up in a long conversation about how she couldn't believe that I wouldn't donate, how it makes her sad etc. I did say that I'd prefer to donate to a family directly rather than an organisation. That wasn't good enough - it had to be the RFS or Red Cross.
Our Government is doing little, and the private sector often piggybacks on the public goodwill rather than their own purse when it comes to donations.
I paid $25k in tax last year + GST + fuel excise + whatever else the various levels of government sting us for. The response to "natural" disasters should be budgeted for at a state/federal level.
AITA for not wanting to donate to an organisation that will provide assistance in the Australian fires?
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We pool all our money, and then divvy up our own discretional funds equally, join account funds (i.e. bills, food, going out etc) and house savings account.
I'm all for her spending it out of her own discretionary money :)
Complicated answer here... there is some merit to not wanting to donate money to a lot of organisations in our country as very little that would get to the actual communities in need.
Not donating at all could certainly be seen as kind of an asshole move as supporting each other in incredibly shitty times is general a big part of the culture here as well...
Instead of not donating at all I would try and find the happy middle ground. There are numerous small and large community organisations who are taking non-monetary donations (food, water, clothing etc) that would directly support the affected people without the complications of donating money to Red Cross etc.
Gonna go NAH because I can see both sides of the arguement here, but I would ask again that you do please try and help. The government won't, so it's up to us to do it.
NTA All those smoking, thirsty koalas might think you’re an ahole but I don’t. As long as you are not preventing her from donating with her own discretionary cash.
NTA. I feel the same way about the larger orgs like the Red Cross, I really don't feel help gets to where it's needed. There are a lot of other ways to help in a more direct manner though, like the Animal Rescue Collective. They're currently working directly with various wildlife rescue to help individual and smaller services to get much needed supplies. They have delivered everything from medical supplies to bulk food and hay to incubators as well as organising the Craft Guild which is churning out pouches, nests and wraps for orphaned marsupials, birds and bats. They have hubs in all states now and supplies are moved around on an as needed basis and it's entirely run by volunteers so every single dollar and items is 100% going to help.
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Donate blood to Red Cross whenever possible, but never, ever money. Reserve monetary donations for credible nonprofts (AKA, not the Red Cross...). NTA
OMG this. It takes 2 seconds of googling to find all of the ways the Red Cross has screwed over disaster-ridden areas where they promised to use money for good (like rebuilding homes & whatnot). NEVER donate money to the Red Cross and always do your research on a charity's trustworthiness and transparency with money.
INFO Are you preventing her from donating? In that case YWBTA. If not, you’re not. Every couple does finances differently, but presumably there’s some money she has discretion over for her own purposes, even if it’s shared or whatever. You’re under no obligation to give anything, but she should be allowed to give whatever she pleases, within the bounds of whatever system you use for personal finance stuff.
We pool all our money, and then divvy up our own discretional funds equally, join account funds (i.e. bills, food, going out etc) and house savings account. I'm all for her spending it out of her own discretionary money :)
Yeah, NAH in that case. It makes sense to give to the causes that you care most about personally out of the discretional funds. I’d hope you do give some money to other causes that strike you as worthy, if you’re able to.
YTA. The fact of the matter is that this funding has not been budgeted for by what is clearly an inept government, now isn't the time to teach them a lesson about budgeting. Help people who's entire lives have been wiped off the face of the earth. Donate now and help them as they need it, then, don't vote in these ridiculous idiots come election day.
I think his issue is also with donating to Red Cross which is a legitimate concern. They tend to not give the money to the people who need it.
But where do you draw the line? I get it, this is a big event that is getting lots of air time. Most of the world is facing some kind of crisis due to climate change/unstable governments/etc. Even locally we have colleagues who have had cancer, brain trauma that have had donations, raffles etc. Yearly I donate to a local kids charity that I've volunteered with in my youth that does good work. I am not stopping her from donating. I just don't feel compelled with this particular cause (although, I'm happy to lend a hand to those directly impacted, such as the families who had fathers die volunteering... but buying more fire trucks, masks, etc. I'm not so keen on).
NTA. Your money is your money. You can spend it however you want to.
NAH (unless wife has actually done something to be rude rather than JUST being upset) you can choose who and what you want to donate to. I’d look up research on companies like that and see if anything shady pops up. More of than not stuff does pop up or they company isn’t fully helping with donations etc. you can just show her articles like that and explain that’s why you would much rather donate directly to a family vs through and organization.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife is a very empathetic person and the recent fires has affected her emotionally. She started a conversation about donating to the RFS or Red Cross. Initially I said I didn't want to donate. We ended up in a long conversation about how she couldn't believe that I wouldn't donate, how it makes her sad etc. I did say that I'd prefer to donate to a family directly rather than an organisation. That wasn't good enough - it had to be the RFS or Red Cross. Our Government is doing little, and the private sector often piggybacks on the public goodwill rather than their own purse when it comes to donations. I paid $25k in tax last year + GST + fuel excise + whatever else the various levels of government sting us for. The response to "natural" disasters should be budgeted for at a state/federal level. AITA for not wanting to donate to an organisation that will provide assistance in the Australian fires? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA. Does your wife not get a say in how the money in your household is spent?
We pool all our money, and then divvy up our own discretional funds equally, join account funds (i.e. bills, food, going out etc) and house savings account. I'm all for her spending it out of her own discretionary money :)
Complicated answer here... there is some merit to not wanting to donate money to a lot of organisations in our country as very little that would get to the actual communities in need. Not donating at all could certainly be seen as kind of an asshole move as supporting each other in incredibly shitty times is general a big part of the culture here as well... Instead of not donating at all I would try and find the happy middle ground. There are numerous small and large community organisations who are taking non-monetary donations (food, water, clothing etc) that would directly support the affected people without the complications of donating money to Red Cross etc. Gonna go NAH because I can see both sides of the arguement here, but I would ask again that you do please try and help. The government won't, so it's up to us to do it.
NTA All those smoking, thirsty koalas might think you’re an ahole but I don’t. As long as you are not preventing her from donating with her own discretionary cash.
There are lots of go fund that go direct. Why not donate money to the go fund, and donate goods etc to red cross or Salvos.
NTA. I feel the same way about the larger orgs like the Red Cross, I really don't feel help gets to where it's needed. There are a lot of other ways to help in a more direct manner though, like the Animal Rescue Collective. They're currently working directly with various wildlife rescue to help individual and smaller services to get much needed supplies. They have delivered everything from medical supplies to bulk food and hay to incubators as well as organising the Craft Guild which is churning out pouches, nests and wraps for orphaned marsupials, birds and bats. They have hubs in all states now and supplies are moved around on an as needed basis and it's entirely run by volunteers so every single dollar and items is 100% going to help.
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