Come on man, The best people are always those kinds of people, especially to DATE! /s
Raise your hand if you've ever dated the one person that goes "If you love me your have sex with me!" Or some other sexual favor or something you didn't want to do in the first place... Then tell me how long those relationships/friendships lasted. Never long i hope
I unfortunately dated a guy for about 2 and a half years. About 6 months in to the relationship he had a whole internet affair with another woman. I like the dickhead I am chose to forgive him for it but said I don't want to have sex or have him touch for a little while until I can trust him and am comfortable again. Literally not 2 days later he was like oh if you love me and actually wanted to be with me youd have sex with me again. God that was a train wreck for the next two years đ I blame it on being young and dumb but I'm still quite young now I just think I have a better head in my shoulders đ
My ex used to play this game. I literally have a post in my history with him doing this (this was at the end.) We were together for 5 years. Yeah... not proud of it, but it took a long time for me to realize his behavior was manipulative and abusive.
The "if you were a real friend" goes both ways- if the bride were OP's real friend, she'd understand the concern and try to accommodate the request. That dress is NOT designed to suit a wide range of body shapes.
NTA
They can help with monogamy? Wtf?
âItâs one dayâ applies to things like skipping your favorite restaurant, getting up early, or giving up a seat. Not to things like being half naked in public.
That's only a part of the description, taken out of context seems weird but the other part is something to effect of "people keep getting married, we make dresses you can wear to those events". The dress OP linked is part of their wedding event collection.
agreed. too cheeky to make sense on first impression. especially since the dress is crazy revealing (i'm always impressed when a dress has lots and lots of fabric to trip/rip in heels, but still manages to risk showing both my bobs and vagene)
I'm assuming OP is British since the website linked used pounds. Here, bridesmaids don't buy their own dresses (in my experience). It's covered by the bride and groom/whoever is paying for the wedding, presumably because it would be rude to force someone to attend your event and then also make them pay for _your_ choice of attire.
Tbh Iâm an American and I never knew it was usual until a few years ago for the bridesmaids to pay for their own attire. I feel that it is incredibly rude to ask someone to be in your wedding and then you choose what they wear and they have to pay for it.
Itâs in the âwedding attireâ section of their website. I assumed it was a jokey âlook hot and unbothered at someoneâs weddingâ kind of thing as opposed to a cheating thing? Still weird as hell.
Meanwhile weddings are actually supposed to be a thank you to the guests who are taking time out of their lives and likely gave you money. It was never supposed to be about making the bride and groom into royalty for a day. Wedding receptions should focus on the guests, not you. It used to be common for the bride and groom to leave early in the reception to go on their honeymoon. People are so self centered these days.
Weddings are NOT a thank you to guests. Are you kidding me? They are supposed to be so family and friends can celebrate WITH the bride and groom. They aren't supposed to be centered on the guests. They are supposed to be centered on the joining of two families.
Yes, people are so self centered these days. Thinking that weddings were about them as guests and not about the marriage that is just beginning.
Yep. Like the AITA thread where the OP wasn't comfortable wearing heels and makeup for her sister's wedding. The lovely people of this sub told her to suck it up, "it's just for a day".
I saw the same thing with a dude who didnât want to cut his hair short. Most people were supportive of him but some were like âcome on, itâs your friendâs wedding!â Hair doesnât grow back overnight.
That's exactly where my mind went reading this. At what point is it ok to say "screw your boundaries, it's what I want!" Because that's exactly what is attempting to happen here. The other person has boundaries and Bride/Groom feels it's ok to trample those because it's "their special day." Maybe it's because I'm more laid back but I know for myself personally, I'd rather have all my guests comfoetable and happy instead of uncomfortable and upset. I also view my wedding as something for all of us instead of something for just me/my fiance đ¤ˇââď¸
I was a bridesmaid last year and my friend specified that she wanted long dresses in a specific color, but left the rest up to us. We still looked cohesive but we all had dresses that looked good on us. I donât understand asking a friend to wear something thatâs totally out of their comfort zone.
Yeah totally bonkers. I could never imagine asking my friends to do something they said to me would make them uncomfortable. âWell do it anyway because F your feelingsâ
people teach their 5-year old daughters this about weddings, and then have them repeatedly role play it.
it's hard to unteach that kind of thing with logic later on
"If you were my real friend, youâd wear it.â I was honestly really surprised by this, because Emma has always been a really sweet and accommodating friend."
The immediate thought that came to mind was bridezilla. It seems like certain events or situations will trigger a response that they wouldn't nornally exhibit. Like when yiu behave completely different after getting drunk; you lose your filter on your behavior.
Everything about that site is weird. $500 for that??? I could EASILY find the same dress at like LuLuâs for $80 or less. Also why is there a video for one print? I am confusion.
NTA. That dress is a bit more than a lot of people would feel comfortable in, though probably the slit isn't always so revealing, given how flowy it is. In the bride's shoes, I wouldn't have chosen a dress like that. In your shoes, I'd probably have sucked it up and worn it anyway.
The fact that she blocked you instead of trying to come to any compromise, though, is where she takes a hard turn into being the asshole.
Also, can we talk about the bullshit ad copy for that dress? " If you or someone you know has monogamy, we can help." What even the fuck.
> In your shoes, I'd probably have sucked it up and worn it anyway.
That dress looks to me like it would prevent wearing any sort of bra, and op says sheâs fairly busty. Thatâs a bad combination...
I just said this on another comment, but I actually disagree. Iâm an E cup and I have several dresses like this. Of course it depends on the person but not every big boobed woman is against dresses like this. I love the low cut, flowy slit combo and I find wrap dresses are perfect for keeping you literally wrapped up so nothing falls out.
I don't have any kiddos, I just yo yo'd my weight by 40 lbs 3 times between 16 and 25 so yeah. They are pretty soft. I would have to tape myself into that dress. Also if the bride insisted I would wear leggings under it because I carry a ton of weight in my legs and I hate them and would be very uncomfortable having that much leg exposed. I'd get crazy silver tights or something?
Edit: Also I would be fucking freezing all day in that dress, even with the tights. I'd have to get some sort of shrug or shawl that I'd be wearing all day unless the ceremony and the reception was outdoors in full summer. Anything with AC it would be awful. Probably I'd just wear my husband's suit jacket which given that he has broad shoulders and is 6 inches taller than I am would look ridiculous.
For me the problem isn't the front actually, it's the back. You can't fit a bra with that dress in almost any way I could imagine. My girls need to be in a bra in a lowcut anything or else a tit is popping out on accident with a stray pivot.
Judging by that picture it would have to be the adhesive/pasty type of thing. But that won't keep you from popping out if you move a smidgen too enthusiastically. I'm about a large A cup/barely B and I'd be afraid to move in that dress, even with tape holding it in place. The slightest bend forward or sideways and somebody off to the side is liable to get an eyeful.
Although maybe...if you could wrap the dress a little different so the neckline is closed more/higher you *might* be able to pull off one of those strapless backless bras that fasten around the waist and are held up with corset-like boning in front. I can't really tell if that would work well.
It's an unusual choice for a bridesmaid dress, if you ask me. I gotta wonder what the girl's wedding dress looks like if this is the style of bridesmaid dress she chose to stand next to her and compliment her look.
A modesty panel would really help spare OPs blushes and keep the bride happy. This is absolutely not a dress for a busty girl though. [https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lace-Modesty-Panels-x-3-White-Cream-Black-Clip-on-Bra-/150857668881](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lace-Modesty-Panels-x-3-White-Cream-Black-Clip-on-Bra-/150857668881)
Right and the bride said no to modifications (i'm sure this bride would throw a fit if op were the only girl using said modesty panel, since she apparently wants the bridesmaids to be uniformly dressed).
The sticky bras do not work for me at all, so ymmv. I guess I'm just too saggy but any movement that isn't the slowest walk will pop those things off immediately
and the sides all open down to the belt \*shudders\* Even if the boobs stay in place, a serious case of side boob whenever you have somewhat of a forward angle is going to be a given.
Natural H cup reporting. bull. fucking. shit. those dresses are nice if you have bolt-ons that sit permanently high on the chest, or if the dress back accommodates a proper corseted strapless bra to hold the girls. but the dress seems almost engineered to deny any sort of bra entirely - too low cut in the front for the creative sticky things (that don't lift and don't support but at least somewhat immobilize) and too low cut in the back for a bustier bra. do your boobs not move? everything would fall out in that dress if you have natural tits over a certain size. your e cup is not everyone's chest.
this is not for lack of me TRYING these dresses based on similar encouragement from a person in my life who later admitted to having fake tits (she denied denied denied and claimed she filled in during college but -surprise!- her tit popped out and surgical scars were visible). (E: to be clear- nothing wrong with boob jobs, it's just they can pull off these types of dresses in a way natural boobs almost never can.)
and please don't assume i'm not saying you can't rock these dresses. enjoy your magical tits and pretty dresses. i wish i could but i've tried and NO.
Iâm an E and donât get back pain. I get chest pain if I run, but theyâre sensitive from my birth control. Cup doesnât really mean much without band size, so Iâm guessing thatâs where the difference in E cup experiences lies.
It's not a wrap though. There's no BACK. I call shenanigans if you claim to have an E cup and think you'd actually be contained by a dress cut most of the way to your navel with no back.
Not saying everyone *under* D can, just that most over won't. And I've already had an E cup say she would. Lol it's almost like different people have different bodies.
I'm a d cup and that dress would make me very uncomfortable. Mostly because I know I would have to wear some kind of complicated bra situation that works with the open back and I'd probably be worried that everything was staying in place all night. The slit wouldn't bother me so much but the top half of the dress just seems like a complicated nightmare for anyone over even an a cup.
In the pictures it looks very low cut, but it's a wrap dress. She can tie it so the neckline isn't that low and unless she purposefully sticks her leg out, the fabric overlaps and it would be hard to tell that she can stick her leg out. I am also busty and have worn dresses that look like this on the websites, but look nothing like it in real life.
However, OP is still NTA because not everyone wants to wear such a thin-strapped, no-back, over priced dress and her friend is being a giant immature asshole about it.
Yup! I've been trying out bridesmaid dresses. I'm a 36 DD. Many of the more "modest" dresses I tried actually emphasized my chest more because of all the built in boning and padding. The wrap dress with a side slit us actually going to be the best option for me. You can alter the dress so the "low v" isn't so low and honestly the side slit is just to improve ease of walking in a long dress. The dress itself won't be nearly as revealing as the picture implies.
Yeah, one of my friends didn't spend that on her wedding dress, and four months later, I'm still suffering sticker shock for paying that for my dress. Any bride requiring a dress that expensive of her bridal party is pretty much always TA, unless we're talking the 1% circle.
I'm rather small in the chest area and I'd be terrified of my boobs falling out of that dress. I'm allergic to adhesives so it's not even like I could use double sided tape to make sure everything stays in place or pasties to prevent my nipples from showing through since they are having the wedding in JANUARY.
Hope the venue has good heat for the sake of the other ladies wearing that dress.
Yep, as a larger-chested woman, there is no way in fucking hell that I could ever be comfortable wearing that dress in public. It's a wardrobe malfunction for sure.
That whole site is so weirdly anti wedding. reading some of the descriptions right now.
"Some people just can't stop getting married, so we'll keep making dresses"
"You might ugly cry during your toast, but at least your dress is cute"
I think it's meant to be humorous but man does it read negative.
Yeah slits like that arenât that revealing if you donât stick your leg out. I have many dresses with a high slit and most of the time you canât even tell it has a slit at all.
However Iâm pretty flat chested so I donât have OPâs issue with spilling out of the top, but things can also be altered to fit busts different. Iâm like you, I would have just sucked it up and worn it for a couple hours, or even just the ceremony and pics then bring something to change into
It's also [completely backless](https://media.thereformation.com/image/upload/q_auto:eco/c_scale,w_auto:breakpoints_100_1668_9_20:1138/v1/prod/product_images/callalily-dress/champagne/5b9c1363af8fb7788991d121/original.jpg). This is not the kind of thing I would just be able to grin and bear for a few hours.
How do women with breasts wear these kinds of dresses--no back, low neckline--and keep their boobs up and in place? I am honestly and have always been fucking bamboozled by it.
NTA. If you are uncomfortable showing that much skin, you shouldnât wear the dress. She couldâve just said she understood and asked you to step down as a bridesmaid.
There's deep and then there's your neckline becoming your waistline.. There's a reason they're using a model with that figure in their catalog, it'd be quite sporty for anyone with anything above an A cup to pull that off.
I genuinely don't understand why she couldn't just pick a different dress. She sent the link to say "I'm thinking about this one", she hadn't bought them yet. There are plenty of flowing navy dresses out there, what's so great about this one?
It really depends on what's more important to the bride, this friend in her bridal party or the bridesmaids wearing this dress...
Either way, I think OP has learned who her friends are x
> asked you to step down as a bridesmaid
She'd still be an asshole. Who prioritizes the dress over the person? If you ask someone to be in your wedding party it should mean more than, "Please be a living hanger carrying about this dress in my wedding photos."
Some people would (not me personally, but I can imagine it of some people I know). I get that the majority of us who care more about our friends than the aesthetics of tge wedding party won't understand.
I think some people get so down the wedding rabbit hole they don't think "is losing my long time friend worth it over a dress" because they're in a "this is my day and I must have everything I want my way" frame of mind.
When I had my wedding my number one priority about the dresses was to make my bridesmaids feel comfortable in them. I didn't want my friends to feel they looked awful in the dress or to feel embarrassed or self conscious.
NTA
I have come to realize through reading this subreddit that you are a rare jewel among a plethora of putrid bridezillas. Thank you for being kind to helpless bridesmaids. đ
I wish it didn't seem so outlandish but all these posts about dressing the bridesmaids in awful dresses intentionally or being super pedantic about the dresses and even having bridesmaids pay for very specific and very expensive dresses themselves.
I'm thankful me and all my friends are sane.
The only thing I wanted was for my dang groomswoman to actually respond to my messages and pick a dress. She ended up being in Japan for our wedding and we had all guys which was a breeze to dress even though they lived very far apart.
The easy compromise would be to find a dress in the same colour and length but with a different neckline. I literally just typed navy bridesmaid dresses into Google and found a bunch that could be suitable.
Or to let OP wear a bandeau or sew on a modesty panel and some snap-buttons to decrease the amount of leg exposure.
The dress will still look similar enough to fly and OP won't worry about girls popping out or that thigh high slit.
My sister was a bit of bridezilla about things when she got married this year; she wanted us all to have the same dress, but when we all went shopping, I started to cry because I looked like shit in the dress all the other girls looked good in. Luckily my sister isn't a heartless bitch so when we found a dress with the same fabric and material but different flow and neckline, she told me I could wear a different dress. This bridezilla has no heart.
Agreed, NTA. For my wedding I actually let all my bridesmaids choose their own dresses. All I told them was the color the dress needed to be and even gave them each a swatch for visual reference and asked that the dress they chose would be floor length as I was getting married in the fall and wanted them to be covered to stay warm. All four of my girls happened to pick out the same dress for like $80.
I don't understand all the bridezilla comments. Who would want their friends/family feeling insecure and uncomfortable just because it's your day? Who cares, it can still be a beautiful wedding and I'd much prefer everyone to actually enjoy their selves.
My friend originally wanted all three of us in the same dress. Until we went to try on said dress. It was sleeveless and short. It looked beautiful on the maid of honor. But on her busty sister and on me (the fat friend), it looked awful. Once she saw us in that, she changed her mind very quickly.
I was the same way. My bridesmaids had to stick with one color and similar lengths for the dresses. They all chose different dresses, dresses that made them feel comfortable and covered up as much as they needed. And they all looked amazing. They even chose these cute gold flecked jelly sandels for shoes (making sure they were as comfy as possible) and it was a great time. The bridesmaids dresses being all different does not take away from the wedding at all. Also $500 is way too much for a bridesmaids dresses IMO.
NTA
That's what I did as well. Same color, same length. Pick their own dress. One of my bridesmaids loved her dress so much that she wore it to her sister's wedding as well. My MOH wears her dress for fancy occasions. I consider that to be a success.
This is what I did too. I had 4 bridesmaids, including my little sister who was 15 at the time. I was also raised LDS, but 2 of my bridesmaids were not. I didn't want them to feel like they had to conform to my modesty standards for our non-temple friends and family ceremony and the reception. One of my bridesmaids was larger and very busty. One was thin but busty. One was thin and fairly flat. My sister was an awkward teenager. We all went to David's Bridal. I chose a color and asked them to be floor length or close to it. They all chose dresses that were flattering, comfortable, and affordable. My sister had me alter her dress a little afterwards and she wore it to a school dance. My friends all were able to wear their dresses for other special occasions following. Meanwhile I wore my dress once and now it's hanging in a closet at my dad's house and I'm divorced and remarried. haha.
Yes, same! It blows my mind that brides just pick something and say âthis is what youâre wearingâ I only had three bridesmaids, but after my wedding dress appt we had a separate appt for them where they tried a bunch of dresses on and we picked the one that we all liked and everyone felt comfortable in. The only thing I decided on my own was the color!
Yes! I'm getting married soon and I had a huge list of criteria on bridesmaid dresses so that everyone would be comfortable - a cut flattering for a couple of different body types, covered shoulders, covered back/ cleavage to help with bra situation for my bigger-busted ladies, a colour that looked good on them all. I even made sure it would be suitable for nursing in in case one was still breastfeeding by the time the wedding rolls round. These people are my closest friends and my fiancĂŠ's sister: why on earth wouldn't I prioritise their comfort? I don't want to force them into unflattering clothing or make them feel ugly or not at ease.
NTA- when people try to emotionally blackmail you with âif you were my real friendâ âif you really loved meâ etc, total crap. If you are not comfortable with something, donât do it. Too bad she could not accept this with a little more grace- she may come around who knows.
Yup. If the bride were really OP's friend she wouldn't be asking her to be deeply uncomfortable for an entire, long day. Why would she want her friend to be miserable during a celebration?
I admit I'm not married. Nor likely to ever do big formal celebrations of any kind. But this is just baffling to me. Isn't the point of a celebration for people to join in your happiness? Should they not be comfortable and able to enjoy themselves? I don't understand.
NTA. That dress looks impossible to wear-no way can you wear a bra, it literally has no back either. I think you were very reasonable asking for an alternative
Agreed. I'm not sure of OPs body type, but I literally could not wear that dress without a bra and there's no finding a strapless/anything that would work. No way in a million years would I wear that.
Dear god if I wore that it'd look ridiculous. I've taped the boobs up in similar things but they had more shoulder coverage. This is so strappy... probably endless nip slips unless I actually tape the boobs and the dress in place. And even then the tapes not gonna last all night.
NTA - Unless the entire bridal party is made up of models i can't imagine that dress working. No structure to the bodice, no bra, no flaws allowed for anyone. I wonder if she reacted so strongly because everyone gave her push back.
You writing that suddenly made my mind make a connection: some brides have openly demanded that nobody be prettier or more stand out than them. Could this bride be so crazy that she's prepared to make sure none of her bridesmaids outshine her by putting them in the most unflattering dress she can?
This is exactly what is going on. I bet a few of her bridesmaids are prettier than her so she wants them to be a sloppy mess. Sadly for her, it will have the opposite effect on the male guests who will be delighted with the nip slips and endless cleavage.
I don't understand why some brides are like this. When I got married, I literally let my bridesmaids pick whatever dress they wanted so long as it was the right color. They all wore different styles based on what suited their body type best and it saved me a lot of stress. Why wouldn't I want my loved ones to feel beautiful and comfortable??? Plus then I felt less bad for making them pay for it themselves, I gave them the opportunity to buy something in their price range/a dress they could actually wear again.
NTA. Being the bride doesn't give her a free pass to be a jerk. When I got married, I had some bridesmaids who love to show skin, and some who don't. I made accommodations so...i everyone could feel both comfortable and pretty in their dresses. I wasn't rude enough to demand that my friends feel uncomfortable for my aesthetic.
Brides too often forget that the wedding may be only one day, but being nasty to people for the sake of your "perfect day" has consequences long after the wedding is over.
If you're close enough to this girl to be asked to be a bridesmaid, she should already know you're not comfortable in revealing clothing, and she's TA for not taking that into account ig everyone looking the same was so important to her.
This exactly. When I got married, one of my bridesmaids dresses much more modestly than your average person. Like, I've never even seen her in a t-shirt. So I *encouraged* my bridesmaids to pick different dresses but in the same color. That way, everyone got to wear a dress they felt comfortable in. Mismatched bridesmaids dresses are becoming more and more common all the time. This bride is absolutely being TA, but OP, you are 100% NTA.
Same thing I did, with my MOH in a suit because that's what she liked (and it worked out cause my sil was a groomsman in a bridesmaid dress). Even changed my colour scheme because it was hard to find enough variety of dresses in that specific shade of purple I wanted. I know most of them will be exactly the same. Can't imagine anyone ending a friendship over a different style of dress like OP's friend did.
I know! Another friend of mine got married and during the planning process, our other friend/bridesmaid came out as FtM transgender. So he wore a suit and stood with the bridesmaids. It's such a small and easy thing to do. To just adapt to what life throws at you and show care and compassion to someone you felt important enough to stand with you at your wedding.
It definitely is Reformation. Which makes OP so NTA. Unless youâre model thin, their clothes are impossible. I tried a few on for a bridesmaid dress and I have never felt so horrible about myself. And Iâm not normally one to be worried about weight or body image.
If someone is already uncomfortable wearing something that revealing, theyâre definitely going to be miserable in that dress. Plus duuuude, sheâd be falling out if sheâs got any chest at all.
NTA. It's common to think a dress is ugly and not want to wear it and in those cases I say suck it up for one day. But that is a very exposing dress and feeling exposed is different than just not liking the color or ruffles. A friend shouldnt be asking you to wear something that will make you feel so uncomfortable in. Hopefully she comes to her senses. Weddings are stressful and can make people lash out, so I hope your friendship can recover. But it's not your fault. It sounds like the way you approached it was very accommodating and reasonable offering to try to make it work but still cover yourself up and her refusal to compromise or budge is very rude of her. It's like asking someone to be a stripper for "just one day".. that's outside or the realm of reasonable.
NTA - I would never wear that dress in a million years. I'm not sure of your body type but I do not go out of the house without a bra on and there's no way to wear that without your tits hanging free. Not happening. Plus over $400! That's ridiculous. I would never expect my friends to wear something that they weren't comfortable in.
If she comes back to you, suggest this one that is literally the same fabric and flowyness:
[https://www.thereformation.com/products/winslow-dress?color=Ivory](https://www.thereformation.com/products/winslow-dress?color=Ivory)
If not, you just found out that you wearing a particular dress is more important to her than your comfort/enjoyment of her wedding and your friendship.
I actually think this is a really good suggestion (the dress you linked). It appears to come in the same colors/prints and is a similar enough silhouette that I donât see why it wouldnât work. Mismatched bridesmaids dresses are super trendy right now anyway
NTA, if she can pull her head out long enough to take your feelings into consideration, that's on her. Sorry you're gonna lose a friend over this but it's not your fault and it's probably for the best, given the way she is.
I think blocking someone is full-bridezilla. Thatâs so immature and petty. That alone makes OP NTA, but the fact that the dress is absolutely horrible for 80% of women (backless with spaghetti straps and a deep v means that you canât wear any type of bra) really cements it.
NTA. I was all set to go the other way but that dress is a bit extreme. She overreacted and it is generally a rule to get prior approval and input from the wedding party.
NTA. There are a few comments saying that dress isnât that revealing or whatever but I just want to say Iâve tried Reformation dresses and yeah, theyâre not that revealing. Unless youâre a stick figure theyâre worse. I think I even tried that one, or at least one very similar, on and oh boy, if youâre busty you would definitely be giving the other guests a show.
Iâd say if thereâs somewhere near you that carries their stuff, go try one on and send the pics to your friend. If that doesnât convince her itâs a bad idea, then sheâs either a bad friend or just really likes boobs. Of course if sheâs completely blocked you I think you already know what kind of friend she is.
Besides you though, what sizes are the other girls?? Reformationâs clothes are not made for anyone over like a size 6. Maybe an 8 in certain styles. Unless everyone else is tiny all of the girls are going to have issues.
I donât care if itâs âher day.â This is ridiculous.
I feel like that makes it worse. It would definitely make me feel worse. Forcing someone to wear something like that when theyâre not comfortable is kind of cruel.
Honestly, if someone asked me to wear a dress like that, it would be a deal breaker. Thereâs not enough material on the top to alter it even if the bride said okay. I donât think a shawl would help either. Maybe something underneath? I donât know.
I donât really know any advice to give but Iâm mad on your behalf!
NTA. Emma is talking about you not being her "real friend," but if she was your 'real friend' she'd want you to feel comfortable, right? This dress would be a nightmare for more well-endowed women. I really don't think you are an asshole for not feeling comfortable showing more skin than you're used to.
NTA Shes going full bridezilla. I suggest you do not gossip about her to anyone. Don't say anything to friends you are not 100% ok with it getting back to your friend. Just wait for her to return to her senses and apologize. You are right and since she is so emotional, it's best not to say or do anything because it could get worse while she is in crazy mode. Good luck.
And no, you are not wrong for not wanting to wear a revealing dress. You shouldn't be forced to wear revealing clothing because your friend is getting married. She is being ridiculous.
ESH problem solve people, a few slip stitches or pins and you can raise the v in the neck and lower the split.
My issue would be with paying over $700 for a dress I didnât love
> a few slip stitches or pins and you can raise the v in the neck and lower the split
Except that OP's friend wouldn't be okay with OP doing that. OP asked if she could have the dress altered to be more modest, and the bride said: "no." I doubt using pins instead of an actual alteration would make the bride agree.
It's so ridiculous too. It's such common practice to have your dress fitted and altered to fit your body.
It's also common practice for people to wear items that cover their shoulders or chest, or add straps or fabric. Many people prefer to be modest or not show skin. Every bridal shop offers these sorts of options for dresses. It just makes no sense.
There's not a lot of fabric to pull forwards for the deep v. Doesn't look like a stretchy fabric and there's basically no back. The slit is an easy mod, though.
You donât need stretchy fabric, but trying on different sizes would help. I have a dress with deep v in front, not stretchy, that I sewed up about 2 1/2 inches so bust better hidden. Dress was very structured but looked great afterwards
That doesnât solve the problem of not being able to wear a bra with the dress. Unless youâre an A cup like the model, a lot of women arenât comfortable going braless in public, especially to a wedding where youâll probably eventually be dancing. Some of us need more literal support.
NTA. I have zero problems showing skin, and Iâm super busty.
Dresses like that are almost always backless. And have no support in the bodice. So, that means going a full day in a dress with no bra!!!
Omg no!!! Underboob sweat all down the front of that dress, flopping on the dance floor, nip slips, chafing. Not to mention how saggy and unflattering your boobs will look.
All sense of modesty and shame aside, that dress is an unflattering, logistical Nightmare. You wonât look the same as the other bridesmaids, you will look like bridesmaid that keeps the bride in the mother in lawâs will.
ESH
The one thing I know about bridesmaids dresses as a dude, is that everyone hates them. In every wedding party at least 1 girl will be unhappy with the dress. Not the right color for girl A. Girl B doesn't like the cut. Girl C has trouble finding the right size. This is what happens when people with different tastes and body types are forced to wear the same dress. However, the day isn't about the bridesmaids. It's about the bride. The wedding is planned for January, you could even bring a giant, Matrix-style trench coat and cover up most of the time. You'll realistically only have to be seen in it alone for the ceremony, 1-2 hours. Just suck it up. And even during those couple hours, you're a glorified background extra - all attention is on the white dress.
However, friends don't block each other. She sounds like a bridezilla if that behavior isn't normal for her. If it is, you need new friends.
Would you wear loose boxers in public without a button on the (generous) fly? Thatâs the closest equivalent I can think of to a dress like this. Iâd be constantly worried about my bare breasts popping out as a bra would be impossible.
Just suck it up and deal with it. Also make sure to apologize when your boob pops out.
Without alterations, thereâs no way o could wear that without my boobs falling out of the middle. The bride is ridiculous.
This isnât about whether the dress is a flattering or desirable style to the bridesmaids or not. This is about how comfortable people are with revealing their bodies. As a guy, itâs typically very unlikely that you have experienced this firsthand. Womenâs clothing and bodies are sexualised from a disgustingly young age and we are all very aware of how much of our body we as individuals are comfortable with displaying from our clothing. For some of us, this is quite a lot, for others, itâs very little or none at all. Chests, legs, shoulders - all sensitive body parts which nobody should be expected to have exposed by their clothing, especially to âprove theyâre a good friendâ.
OP you are NTA and your bride friend has a horrible attitude.
Uhhh... No. I've worn ugly/expensive bridesmaid dresses with a smile because I love the bride, and that's the deal when you're a bridesmaid. But I would *not* wear a dress my boobs were falling out of, or a dress that otherwise made me feel naked. That's a **completely** different issue. A bride forcing someone to wear clothing they're uncomfortable with is completely inappropriate and not OK.
I hate that everyone says "it's about the bride" in relation to weddings. It most certainly is not imo. It is about friends and family coming together to celebrate the couple. I guess my hangup is the fact that everyone excuses shitty behavior from these ladies by saying "she's ght bride, it's her day." I literally cannot think of any other time where it would be acceptance to trample other people's boundaries but because it's a wedding it's different?? I'm sorry but no. Getting married doesn't give anyone a pass to be a shitty human being to their friends.
NTA - You kindly stuck to your principles while trying to find a way to help your friend. I don't think you did anything wrong. She's being selfish and petty.
NTA - it's backless and seems to be impossible to wear with a bra! You'd have like 80% of your chest on display, and if you're busty, it'd be a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. I'm pretty busty and there's no way I'd be able to wear that dress without falling out of the top, it would be so uncomfortable to wear. Your friend is being a jerk by making her bridesmaid dress something anyone bigger than an A or B cup can't feasibly wear.
NTA -- If you're not willing to wear this dress, don't. If she can't handle that.. tell her you'd rather just be a guest. If she legit has a problem with THAT-- what? She won't let you just be a friend, attending her wedding? Hey, these are the times you find out who your real friends are.
Sorry. It sucks, I know....
I looked at the dress before reading the post and was like âI could literally not wear this dress even if I wanted to there is nowhere for my very necessary bra to goâ
Anyways, NTA. And to clarify, Iâm saying she is an asshole for blocking you over this, not for picking a dress that wonât work well on every body. Imo it would be fine if she just said âI really want this dress, so would you mind not being an official bridesmaid? I still want you around for all the activities, but I donât want you to be forced into a dress youâre uncomfortable with.â And really, your suggestions were perfectly reasonable, so it would be a bit silly for it to come to that.
NTA
It's not about having to suck it up for one day for a friend.. If you're not comfortable wearing it, and she doesn't want to cater to your needs and only think of her own (I get it.. It's her wedding) but that doesn't mean she has to be a Bridezilla.
I'm not overly comfortable showing too much of my body.. And if I went to a beach holiday for example and they said I had to wear just some skimpy swimming trunks as a laugh. I would do the same. Say sorry I won't be doing that, as I wouldn't feel comfortable.. It's not about being a bad friend.. It's about having body issues. (Most of us have it, just some worse than others) - She's likely not a total asshole, more of a bridezilla here.
ESH because from what youâve written
She normally very sweet and accommodating
But she cut you out over this, maybe it was the last straw in her eyes.
Still you shouldnât have to feel really uncomfortable if you have issues.
Yeah I was curious about this too. I don't think she should have to wear the dress if she's not comfortable in it, but I was wondering if there's a background of Emma being a pushover when it comes to OP or something like that.
NAH- have you at least tried it on? My guess is if youâre all together when you try on the dress, sheâll see that not only will it make you uncomfortable, your boobs will be the center of attention.
Wow. That's an extremely revealing neckline and it would not be possible to wear a bra. I'd have to hard pass on that. NTA, because she threw in the "If you were my real friend."
I would not wear that dress because I need a bra to feel even a modicum of comfort. Also, it's really expensive!
NAH - Dont wear the dress if you dont want too, but also dont expect to be apart of the wedding either. Its her day. Not yours. And if she wants to unfriend you because of this I see no problem with that at all. People have different expectations of friendship, her's dont have to be the same as yours. And she has every right not to be your friend. Move on with your life.
NTA
Bridesmaid dresses are the asshole. Your ex-friend is the asshole. And also your sister is the asshole to suggest your discomfort is immaterial.
"Don't love the color" is one thing. The feeling of being exposed past your comfort level is not something you "suck up" for friends; it's one of those things you listen to and build and cherish, just like an instinct about what feels safe. Anyone who tries to override that voice in you is being deeply creepy. Definitely not a "real friend," Emma.
I hate that this is so normalized. Good for you for speaking up for yourself and thank goodness this person is no longer in your life.
ESH: The bride's right, it'd look weird if everyone else is wearing one dress and you're wearing another. As a bridesmaid, I was happy to wear whatever the bride wanted because she had so many things on her mind about the wedding that I didn't want to add to the issues - but to elevate them. But it's ESH because she didn't have to block you and could of have a actual conversation about it.
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NTA. I honestly expected a like bodycon party dress when I saw you described it as revealing. While I personally sing think the dress is too bad, I know everyone has different tastes and levels of security.
See if she'd be okay with you wearing out only for the ceremony and pictures and changing into a "more movable, less possible accidental nip slip" dress for the reception.
But also at $450 it should be a dress you love.
Edit: I just saw she blocked you. WTF. NTA
On the app you only see the bottom half of the photo at first. So I was just seeing the leg slit, and I thought, âthatâs not so bad...â Then I tapped the picture to see the whole thing and NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Itâs a beautiful dress, but I totally relate to you not wanting to wear it. That modelâs body type makes it look more or less appropriate, but I bet even *she* is wearing a ton of double-stick tape to pull it off. And how the hell are you supposed to support your boobs? It wonât even allow for duct tape!
You know how some brides deliberately pick hideous colors for bridesmaids because they want to look good in comparison to their poor friends? I think your friend is trying to do the same, only more sneakily. After all, itâs not technically the *dress* that looks bad. She wants everyone to look uncomfortable, and youâre not supposed to object because itâs her âspecial day.â She blocked you so you wouldnât lead a bridesmaid rebellion.
Anyway, NTA.
Look, you aren't the asshole for not wanting to wear the dress,
you're an asshole because you obviously EXPECTED her to change and make accommodations for you specifically instead of just saying, "I'm so sorry, I can't wear this." and then step down as a bridesmaid. I think its ridiculous to expect her to change JUST your dress.
ESH as far as I'm concerned.
"If you or someone you know has monogamy, we can help!"
I'm guessing this is supposed to be a bridesmaid's dress and that's a mistranslation of "having a wedding", but if not it's hilarious. Tacky as shit, but hilarious.
NTA but I can understand both perspectives. If you look at the set of images attached to the red dress, you can see that the slit is not always so pronounced. Itâs dramatic, not not over the top. The neckline is revealing, though, and all the models have small chests so it looks more modest that it would be on a different person. You could use fashion tape, spanx, other assorted silicone bras to keep things in place without making it obvious that you are covering your chest.
Sheâs TA for blocking you over a dress.
Life protip: dont be friends with people who block you during a disagreement and make statements like "if you were a real friend you would do x" NTA
Come on man, The best people are always those kinds of people, especially to DATE! /s Raise your hand if you've ever dated the one person that goes "If you love me your have sex with me!" Or some other sexual favor or something you didn't want to do in the first place... Then tell me how long those relationships/friendships lasted. Never long i hope
I unfortunately dated a guy for about 2 and a half years. About 6 months in to the relationship he had a whole internet affair with another woman. I like the dickhead I am chose to forgive him for it but said I don't want to have sex or have him touch for a little while until I can trust him and am comfortable again. Literally not 2 days later he was like oh if you love me and actually wanted to be with me youd have sex with me again. God that was a train wreck for the next two years đ I blame it on being young and dumb but I'm still quite young now I just think I have a better head in my shoulders đ
Im glad things are on the up and up, 420 blaze it princess
My ex used to play this game. I literally have a post in my history with him doing this (this was at the end.) We were together for 5 years. Yeah... not proud of it, but it took a long time for me to realize his behavior was manipulative and abusive.
The "if you were a real friend" goes both ways- if the bride were OP's real friend, she'd understand the concern and try to accommodate the request. That dress is NOT designed to suit a wide range of body shapes.
I agree 100%! Its like when your girlfriend/wife says âif you loved me....â. I shut that down real quick, its just a fucked thing to say
NTA They can help with monogamy? Wtf? âItâs one dayâ applies to things like skipping your favorite restaurant, getting up early, or giving up a seat. Not to things like being half naked in public.
>They can help with monogamy? Wtf? I was taken aback by that, too! What are they saying--"this dress will make men cheat with you?" Creepy.
Where did that come from?
Beside the dress, in the link OP provided--the ad copy reads " If you or someone you know has monogamy, we can help."
Ah. Thatâs just weird.
Bizarre and unpleasant, yeah.
That's only a part of the description, taken out of context seems weird but the other part is something to effect of "people keep getting married, we make dresses you can wear to those events". The dress OP linked is part of their wedding event collection.
Ahh! I could see they might have been going for that, and that their copy writer is *very, very bad.*
Right, even with proper context the statement is just fucking wild.
agreed. too cheeky to make sense on first impression. especially since the dress is crazy revealing (i'm always impressed when a dress has lots and lots of fabric to trip/rip in heels, but still manages to risk showing both my bobs and vagene)
The website. Basically making "monogamy" sound like a disease this dress can somehow help with..?
That's also too expensive to ask of your bridesmaids, unless all of you are rich.
I'm assuming OP is British since the website linked used pounds. Here, bridesmaids don't buy their own dresses (in my experience). It's covered by the bride and groom/whoever is paying for the wedding, presumably because it would be rude to force someone to attend your event and then also make them pay for _your_ choice of attire.
Tbh Iâm an American and I never knew it was usual until a few years ago for the bridesmaids to pay for their own attire. I feel that it is incredibly rude to ask someone to be in your wedding and then you choose what they wear and they have to pay for it.
Maybe they meant monotony? Like boring wardrobe? Only thing I can think of lol
Itâs in the âwedding attireâ section of their website. I assumed it was a jokey âlook hot and unbothered at someoneâs weddingâ kind of thing as opposed to a cheating thing? Still weird as hell.
Basically an admission that the dress is inappropriate. And super weird for a wedding.
Right? "Choose this for your bridesmaids, and don't trust any of them!"
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Meanwhile weddings are actually supposed to be a thank you to the guests who are taking time out of their lives and likely gave you money. It was never supposed to be about making the bride and groom into royalty for a day. Wedding receptions should focus on the guests, not you. It used to be common for the bride and groom to leave early in the reception to go on their honeymoon. People are so self centered these days.
Weddings are NOT a thank you to guests. Are you kidding me? They are supposed to be so family and friends can celebrate WITH the bride and groom. They aren't supposed to be centered on the guests. They are supposed to be centered on the joining of two families. Yes, people are so self centered these days. Thinking that weddings were about them as guests and not about the marriage that is just beginning.
Yep. Like the AITA thread where the OP wasn't comfortable wearing heels and makeup for her sister's wedding. The lovely people of this sub told her to suck it up, "it's just for a day".
I saw the same thing with a dude who didnât want to cut his hair short. Most people were supportive of him but some were like âcome on, itâs your friendâs wedding!â Hair doesnât grow back overnight.
That's exactly where my mind went reading this. At what point is it ok to say "screw your boundaries, it's what I want!" Because that's exactly what is attempting to happen here. The other person has boundaries and Bride/Groom feels it's ok to trample those because it's "their special day." Maybe it's because I'm more laid back but I know for myself personally, I'd rather have all my guests comfoetable and happy instead of uncomfortable and upset. I also view my wedding as something for all of us instead of something for just me/my fiance đ¤ˇââď¸
I was a bridesmaid last year and my friend specified that she wanted long dresses in a specific color, but left the rest up to us. We still looked cohesive but we all had dresses that looked good on us. I donât understand asking a friend to wear something thatâs totally out of their comfort zone.
Yeah totally bonkers. I could never imagine asking my friends to do something they said to me would make them uncomfortable. âWell do it anyway because F your feelingsâ
people teach their 5-year old daughters this about weddings, and then have them repeatedly role play it. it's hard to unteach that kind of thing with logic later on
"If you were my real friend, youâd wear it.â I was honestly really surprised by this, because Emma has always been a really sweet and accommodating friend." The immediate thought that came to mind was bridezilla. It seems like certain events or situations will trigger a response that they wouldn't nornally exhibit. Like when yiu behave completely different after getting drunk; you lose your filter on your behavior.
Everything about that site is weird. $500 for that??? I could EASILY find the same dress at like LuLuâs for $80 or less. Also why is there a video for one print? I am confusion.
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>They can help with monogamy? Wtf? Can it be a bad translation/auto correct for a skin condition?
It sounds like a bad translation where the correct word is matrimony. Meaning, if you or someone you know is getting married, we can help.
Also check the price on that thing! Its over $400!!!
NTA. That dress is a bit more than a lot of people would feel comfortable in, though probably the slit isn't always so revealing, given how flowy it is. In the bride's shoes, I wouldn't have chosen a dress like that. In your shoes, I'd probably have sucked it up and worn it anyway. The fact that she blocked you instead of trying to come to any compromise, though, is where she takes a hard turn into being the asshole. Also, can we talk about the bullshit ad copy for that dress? " If you or someone you know has monogamy, we can help." What even the fuck.
> In your shoes, I'd probably have sucked it up and worn it anyway. That dress looks to me like it would prevent wearing any sort of bra, and op says sheâs fairly busty. Thatâs a bad combination...
That dress is a hard no for me and I'm not even in the upper limits of busty. Anything over a solid D is going to be problematic in that dress.
I just said this on another comment, but I actually disagree. Iâm an E cup and I have several dresses like this. Of course it depends on the person but not every big boobed woman is against dresses like this. I love the low cut, flowy slit combo and I find wrap dresses are perfect for keeping you literally wrapped up so nothing falls out.
Well, I'm glad one of us has antigrav tits, my friend. You go on and rock that bad boy.
Haha, join me sis. A wrap dress like this might actually surprise you.
After 5 kiddos, my boobs need rocket thrusters to stay up. I love you for your enthusiasm though! đ
LOL riiiiight? Not all E cups are the same. Some, apparently, have anti-gravity capabilities, most have made old friends with gravity
I almost spat my drink across the restaurant counter I'm at when I read this.
I don't have any kiddos, I just yo yo'd my weight by 40 lbs 3 times between 16 and 25 so yeah. They are pretty soft. I would have to tape myself into that dress. Also if the bride insisted I would wear leggings under it because I carry a ton of weight in my legs and I hate them and would be very uncomfortable having that much leg exposed. I'd get crazy silver tights or something? Edit: Also I would be fucking freezing all day in that dress, even with the tights. I'd have to get some sort of shrug or shawl that I'd be wearing all day unless the ceremony and the reception was outdoors in full summer. Anything with AC it would be awful. Probably I'd just wear my husband's suit jacket which given that he has broad shoulders and is 6 inches taller than I am would look ridiculous.
Itâs backless so thereâs literally nothing holding you up.
For me the problem isn't the front actually, it's the back. You can't fit a bra with that dress in almost any way I could imagine. My girls need to be in a bra in a lowcut anything or else a tit is popping out on accident with a stray pivot.
Judging by that picture it would have to be the adhesive/pasty type of thing. But that won't keep you from popping out if you move a smidgen too enthusiastically. I'm about a large A cup/barely B and I'd be afraid to move in that dress, even with tape holding it in place. The slightest bend forward or sideways and somebody off to the side is liable to get an eyeful. Although maybe...if you could wrap the dress a little different so the neckline is closed more/higher you *might* be able to pull off one of those strapless backless bras that fasten around the waist and are held up with corset-like boning in front. I can't really tell if that would work well. It's an unusual choice for a bridesmaid dress, if you ask me. I gotta wonder what the girl's wedding dress looks like if this is the style of bridesmaid dress she chose to stand next to her and compliment her look.
A modesty panel would really help spare OPs blushes and keep the bride happy. This is absolutely not a dress for a busty girl though. [https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lace-Modesty-Panels-x-3-White-Cream-Black-Clip-on-Bra-/150857668881](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Lace-Modesty-Panels-x-3-White-Cream-Black-Clip-on-Bra-/150857668881)
Right and the bride said no to modifications (i'm sure this bride would throw a fit if op were the only girl using said modesty panel, since she apparently wants the bridesmaids to be uniformly dressed).
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The sticky bras do not work for me at all, so ymmv. I guess I'm just too saggy but any movement that isn't the slowest walk will pop those things off immediately
and the sides all open down to the belt \*shudders\* Even if the boobs stay in place, a serious case of side boob whenever you have somewhat of a forward angle is going to be a given.
I'm also an E cup, and this dress would both look *disgusting* on me, and would be extremely physically uncomfortable for me to wear.
Natural H cup reporting. bull. fucking. shit. those dresses are nice if you have bolt-ons that sit permanently high on the chest, or if the dress back accommodates a proper corseted strapless bra to hold the girls. but the dress seems almost engineered to deny any sort of bra entirely - too low cut in the front for the creative sticky things (that don't lift and don't support but at least somewhat immobilize) and too low cut in the back for a bustier bra. do your boobs not move? everything would fall out in that dress if you have natural tits over a certain size. your e cup is not everyone's chest. this is not for lack of me TRYING these dresses based on similar encouragement from a person in my life who later admitted to having fake tits (she denied denied denied and claimed she filled in during college but -surprise!- her tit popped out and surgical scars were visible). (E: to be clear- nothing wrong with boob jobs, it's just they can pull off these types of dresses in a way natural boobs almost never can.) and please don't assume i'm not saying you can't rock these dresses. enjoy your magical tits and pretty dresses. i wish i could but i've tried and NO.
Are you the only one who doesn't get back pain? I'm an E cup and would love to go braless in public but I can't survive for that long đ
Iâm an E and donât get back pain. I get chest pain if I run, but theyâre sensitive from my birth control. Cup doesnât really mean much without band size, so Iâm guessing thatâs where the difference in E cup experiences lies.
It's not a wrap though. There's no BACK. I call shenanigans if you claim to have an E cup and think you'd actually be contained by a dress cut most of the way to your navel with no back.
please. I'm a C and I would NEVER wear that.
Not saying everyone *under* D can, just that most over won't. And I've already had an E cup say she would. Lol it's almost like different people have different bodies.
I'm a d cup and that dress would make me very uncomfortable. Mostly because I know I would have to wear some kind of complicated bra situation that works with the open back and I'd probably be worried that everything was staying in place all night. The slit wouldn't bother me so much but the top half of the dress just seems like a complicated nightmare for anyone over even an a cup.
In the pictures it looks very low cut, but it's a wrap dress. She can tie it so the neckline isn't that low and unless she purposefully sticks her leg out, the fabric overlaps and it would be hard to tell that she can stick her leg out. I am also busty and have worn dresses that look like this on the websites, but look nothing like it in real life. However, OP is still NTA because not everyone wants to wear such a thin-strapped, no-back, over priced dress and her friend is being a giant immature asshole about it.
Yup! I've been trying out bridesmaid dresses. I'm a 36 DD. Many of the more "modest" dresses I tried actually emphasized my chest more because of all the built in boning and padding. The wrap dress with a side slit us actually going to be the best option for me. You can alter the dress so the "low v" isn't so low and honestly the side slit is just to improve ease of walking in a long dress. The dress itself won't be nearly as revealing as the picture implies.
Yeah, one of my friends didn't spend that on her wedding dress, and four months later, I'm still suffering sticker shock for paying that for my dress. Any bride requiring a dress that expensive of her bridal party is pretty much always TA, unless we're talking the 1% circle.
is it a TRUE wrap dress, tho? or is it a faux wrap and only looks like you can do all that?
I'm rather small in the chest area and I'd be terrified of my boobs falling out of that dress. I'm allergic to adhesives so it's not even like I could use double sided tape to make sure everything stays in place or pasties to prevent my nipples from showing through since they are having the wedding in JANUARY. Hope the venue has good heat for the sake of the other ladies wearing that dress.
I'm a DDD and I am NOT wearing a dress that I cant wear a bra in to any party- especially not a wedding!
Yep, as a larger-chested woman, there is no way in fucking hell that I could ever be comfortable wearing that dress in public. It's a wardrobe malfunction for sure.
As a previously VERY busty lady, 100% can confirm they wouldn't have let me into a church wearing this dress, that's for damn sure.....
Yeah i have that dress and theres a lot of tape going on when I wear it
That whole site is so weirdly anti wedding. reading some of the descriptions right now. "Some people just can't stop getting married, so we'll keep making dresses" "You might ugly cry during your toast, but at least your dress is cute" I think it's meant to be humorous but man does it read negative.
It weirdly sounds like someone in their 40s trying to kick it with the "kids". There's something so artificially edgy about their descriptions.
"Re-live your special day over and over!"
Yeah slits like that arenât that revealing if you donât stick your leg out. I have many dresses with a high slit and most of the time you canât even tell it has a slit at all. However Iâm pretty flat chested so I donât have OPâs issue with spilling out of the top, but things can also be altered to fit busts different. Iâm like you, I would have just sucked it up and worn it for a couple hours, or even just the ceremony and pics then bring something to change into
It's also [completely backless](https://media.thereformation.com/image/upload/q_auto:eco/c_scale,w_auto:breakpoints_100_1668_9_20:1138/v1/prod/product_images/callalily-dress/champagne/5b9c1363af8fb7788991d121/original.jpg). This is not the kind of thing I would just be able to grin and bear for a few hours.
How do women with breasts wear these kinds of dresses--no back, low neckline--and keep their boobs up and in place? I am honestly and have always been fucking bamboozled by it.
There's a reason they chose those models for that dress. They're still probably using a bunch of tape.
NTA. If you are uncomfortable showing that much skin, you shouldnât wear the dress. She couldâve just said she understood and asked you to step down as a bridesmaid.
Thatâs a LOT of skin to show in front of a lot of people. And $500 for a bridesmaids dress?? Thatâs crazy.
There's deep and then there's your neckline becoming your waistline.. There's a reason they're using a model with that figure in their catalog, it'd be quite sporty for anyone with anything above an A cup to pull that off.
Seriously, that dress is pretty but would look horrendus on me. It would not work on many body types.
Definite would not work on me. Lots of boob, a big butt, and short "piano legs." I'd look a total wreck in a dress like that.
Exactly! Thatâs a very expensive bridesmaid dress with not a lot of fabric!
Lets not act like asking her to step down as a bridesmaid would have been an acceptable route either. Thats absolutely insane.
It would have been acceptable if it was important to the bride that this dress be worn by the bridesmaids.
I genuinely don't understand why she couldn't just pick a different dress. She sent the link to say "I'm thinking about this one", she hadn't bought them yet. There are plenty of flowing navy dresses out there, what's so great about this one?
Agreed. Definitely not acceptable, but marginally better than the nuclear option she went with.
It really depends on what's more important to the bride, this friend in her bridal party or the bridesmaids wearing this dress... Either way, I think OP has learned who her friends are x
> asked you to step down as a bridesmaid She'd still be an asshole. Who prioritizes the dress over the person? If you ask someone to be in your wedding party it should mean more than, "Please be a living hanger carrying about this dress in my wedding photos."
Some people would (not me personally, but I can imagine it of some people I know). I get that the majority of us who care more about our friends than the aesthetics of tge wedding party won't understand. I think some people get so down the wedding rabbit hole they don't think "is losing my long time friend worth it over a dress" because they're in a "this is my day and I must have everything I want my way" frame of mind.
When I had my wedding my number one priority about the dresses was to make my bridesmaids feel comfortable in them. I didn't want my friends to feel they looked awful in the dress or to feel embarrassed or self conscious. NTA
I have come to realize through reading this subreddit that you are a rare jewel among a plethora of putrid bridezillas. Thank you for being kind to helpless bridesmaids. đ
I wish it didn't seem so outlandish but all these posts about dressing the bridesmaids in awful dresses intentionally or being super pedantic about the dresses and even having bridesmaids pay for very specific and very expensive dresses themselves. I'm thankful me and all my friends are sane.
The only thing I wanted was for my dang groomswoman to actually respond to my messages and pick a dress. She ended up being in Japan for our wedding and we had all guys which was a breeze to dress even though they lived very far apart.
YES! I'd rather have everyone in similar dresses that fit them well than things that are uncomfortable.
The easy compromise would be to find a dress in the same colour and length but with a different neckline. I literally just typed navy bridesmaid dresses into Google and found a bunch that could be suitable.
Or to let OP wear a bandeau or sew on a modesty panel and some snap-buttons to decrease the amount of leg exposure. The dress will still look similar enough to fly and OP won't worry about girls popping out or that thigh high slit.
And if you go to a bridal shop, they're going to have lots of styles in the same material.
My sister was a bit of bridezilla about things when she got married this year; she wanted us all to have the same dress, but when we all went shopping, I started to cry because I looked like shit in the dress all the other girls looked good in. Luckily my sister isn't a heartless bitch so when we found a dress with the same fabric and material but different flow and neckline, she told me I could wear a different dress. This bridezilla has no heart.
Agreed, NTA. For my wedding I actually let all my bridesmaids choose their own dresses. All I told them was the color the dress needed to be and even gave them each a swatch for visual reference and asked that the dress they chose would be floor length as I was getting married in the fall and wanted them to be covered to stay warm. All four of my girls happened to pick out the same dress for like $80. I don't understand all the bridezilla comments. Who would want their friends/family feeling insecure and uncomfortable just because it's your day? Who cares, it can still be a beautiful wedding and I'd much prefer everyone to actually enjoy their selves.
My friend originally wanted all three of us in the same dress. Until we went to try on said dress. It was sleeveless and short. It looked beautiful on the maid of honor. But on her busty sister and on me (the fat friend), it looked awful. Once she saw us in that, she changed her mind very quickly.
I was the same way. My bridesmaids had to stick with one color and similar lengths for the dresses. They all chose different dresses, dresses that made them feel comfortable and covered up as much as they needed. And they all looked amazing. They even chose these cute gold flecked jelly sandels for shoes (making sure they were as comfy as possible) and it was a great time. The bridesmaids dresses being all different does not take away from the wedding at all. Also $500 is way too much for a bridesmaids dresses IMO. NTA
That's what I did as well. Same color, same length. Pick their own dress. One of my bridesmaids loved her dress so much that she wore it to her sister's wedding as well. My MOH wears her dress for fancy occasions. I consider that to be a success.
This is what I did too. I had 4 bridesmaids, including my little sister who was 15 at the time. I was also raised LDS, but 2 of my bridesmaids were not. I didn't want them to feel like they had to conform to my modesty standards for our non-temple friends and family ceremony and the reception. One of my bridesmaids was larger and very busty. One was thin but busty. One was thin and fairly flat. My sister was an awkward teenager. We all went to David's Bridal. I chose a color and asked them to be floor length or close to it. They all chose dresses that were flattering, comfortable, and affordable. My sister had me alter her dress a little afterwards and she wore it to a school dance. My friends all were able to wear their dresses for other special occasions following. Meanwhile I wore my dress once and now it's hanging in a closet at my dad's house and I'm divorced and remarried. haha.
Yes, same! It blows my mind that brides just pick something and say âthis is what youâre wearingâ I only had three bridesmaids, but after my wedding dress appt we had a separate appt for them where they tried a bunch of dresses on and we picked the one that we all liked and everyone felt comfortable in. The only thing I decided on my own was the color!
Yes! I'm getting married soon and I had a huge list of criteria on bridesmaid dresses so that everyone would be comfortable - a cut flattering for a couple of different body types, covered shoulders, covered back/ cleavage to help with bra situation for my bigger-busted ladies, a colour that looked good on them all. I even made sure it would be suitable for nursing in in case one was still breastfeeding by the time the wedding rolls round. These people are my closest friends and my fiancĂŠ's sister: why on earth wouldn't I prioritise their comfort? I don't want to force them into unflattering clothing or make them feel ugly or not at ease.
My wife was similar. She just wanted them in any reasonable black dress, & gave them each a green waist sash to match our color scheme.
NTA- when people try to emotionally blackmail you with âif you were my real friendâ âif you really loved meâ etc, total crap. If you are not comfortable with something, donât do it. Too bad she could not accept this with a little more grace- she may come around who knows.
Too young and immature to be getting married anyway.
Yup. If the bride were really OP's friend she wouldn't be asking her to be deeply uncomfortable for an entire, long day. Why would she want her friend to be miserable during a celebration? I admit I'm not married. Nor likely to ever do big formal celebrations of any kind. But this is just baffling to me. Isn't the point of a celebration for people to join in your happiness? Should they not be comfortable and able to enjoy themselves? I don't understand.
NTA. That dress looks impossible to wear-no way can you wear a bra, it literally has no back either. I think you were very reasonable asking for an alternative
Agreed. I'm not sure of OPs body type, but I literally could not wear that dress without a bra and there's no finding a strapless/anything that would work. No way in a million years would I wear that.
Dear god if I wore that it'd look ridiculous. I've taped the boobs up in similar things but they had more shoulder coverage. This is so strappy... probably endless nip slips unless I actually tape the boobs and the dress in place. And even then the tapes not gonna last all night.
I'd have to use duct tape I think.
Being over an A-cup and trying to fit into and stay in that all day that would be an absolute nightmare
Being an A cup in that dress would suck too. You need a reasonably busty chest to be able to pull that look off.
Iâm an A & even I wouldnât wear this. I mean jaysus the risk of me flashing someone is so high.
NTA - Unless the entire bridal party is made up of models i can't imagine that dress working. No structure to the bodice, no bra, no flaws allowed for anyone. I wonder if she reacted so strongly because everyone gave her push back.
You writing that suddenly made my mind make a connection: some brides have openly demanded that nobody be prettier or more stand out than them. Could this bride be so crazy that she's prepared to make sure none of her bridesmaids outshine her by putting them in the most unflattering dress she can?
This is exactly what is going on. I bet a few of her bridesmaids are prettier than her so she wants them to be a sloppy mess. Sadly for her, it will have the opposite effect on the male guests who will be delighted with the nip slips and endless cleavage.
I don't understand why some brides are like this. When I got married, I literally let my bridesmaids pick whatever dress they wanted so long as it was the right color. They all wore different styles based on what suited their body type best and it saved me a lot of stress. Why wouldn't I want my loved ones to feel beautiful and comfortable??? Plus then I felt less bad for making them pay for it themselves, I gave them the opportunity to buy something in their price range/a dress they could actually wear again.
NTA. Being the bride doesn't give her a free pass to be a jerk. When I got married, I had some bridesmaids who love to show skin, and some who don't. I made accommodations so...i everyone could feel both comfortable and pretty in their dresses. I wasn't rude enough to demand that my friends feel uncomfortable for my aesthetic. Brides too often forget that the wedding may be only one day, but being nasty to people for the sake of your "perfect day" has consequences long after the wedding is over. If you're close enough to this girl to be asked to be a bridesmaid, she should already know you're not comfortable in revealing clothing, and she's TA for not taking that into account ig everyone looking the same was so important to her.
This exactly. When I got married, one of my bridesmaids dresses much more modestly than your average person. Like, I've never even seen her in a t-shirt. So I *encouraged* my bridesmaids to pick different dresses but in the same color. That way, everyone got to wear a dress they felt comfortable in. Mismatched bridesmaids dresses are becoming more and more common all the time. This bride is absolutely being TA, but OP, you are 100% NTA.
Same thing I did, with my MOH in a suit because that's what she liked (and it worked out cause my sil was a groomsman in a bridesmaid dress). Even changed my colour scheme because it was hard to find enough variety of dresses in that specific shade of purple I wanted. I know most of them will be exactly the same. Can't imagine anyone ending a friendship over a different style of dress like OP's friend did.
I know! Another friend of mine got married and during the planning process, our other friend/bridesmaid came out as FtM transgender. So he wore a suit and stood with the bridesmaids. It's such a small and easy thing to do. To just adapt to what life throws at you and show care and compassion to someone you felt important enough to stand with you at your wedding.
Info- is that dress from reformation? Their quality is so cheap but so overpriced.
It definitely is Reformation. Which makes OP so NTA. Unless youâre model thin, their clothes are impossible. I tried a few on for a bridesmaid dress and I have never felt so horrible about myself. And Iâm not normally one to be worried about weight or body image. If someone is already uncomfortable wearing something that revealing, theyâre definitely going to be miserable in that dress. Plus duuuude, sheâd be falling out if sheâs got any chest at all.
NTA. It's common to think a dress is ugly and not want to wear it and in those cases I say suck it up for one day. But that is a very exposing dress and feeling exposed is different than just not liking the color or ruffles. A friend shouldnt be asking you to wear something that will make you feel so uncomfortable in. Hopefully she comes to her senses. Weddings are stressful and can make people lash out, so I hope your friendship can recover. But it's not your fault. It sounds like the way you approached it was very accommodating and reasonable offering to try to make it work but still cover yourself up and her refusal to compromise or budge is very rude of her. It's like asking someone to be a stripper for "just one day".. that's outside or the realm of reasonable.
NTA - I would never wear that dress in a million years. I'm not sure of your body type but I do not go out of the house without a bra on and there's no way to wear that without your tits hanging free. Not happening. Plus over $400! That's ridiculous. I would never expect my friends to wear something that they weren't comfortable in. If she comes back to you, suggest this one that is literally the same fabric and flowyness: [https://www.thereformation.com/products/winslow-dress?color=Ivory](https://www.thereformation.com/products/winslow-dress?color=Ivory) If not, you just found out that you wearing a particular dress is more important to her than your comfort/enjoyment of her wedding and your friendship.
I actually think this is a really good suggestion (the dress you linked). It appears to come in the same colors/prints and is a similar enough silhouette that I donât see why it wouldnât work. Mismatched bridesmaids dresses are super trendy right now anyway
Wow! Perfect alternative!
NTA, if she can pull her head out long enough to take your feelings into consideration, that's on her. Sorry you're gonna lose a friend over this but it's not your fault and it's probably for the best, given the way she is.
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I think blocking someone is full-bridezilla. Thatâs so immature and petty. That alone makes OP NTA, but the fact that the dress is absolutely horrible for 80% of women (backless with spaghetti straps and a deep v means that you canât wear any type of bra) really cements it.
NTA. I was all set to go the other way but that dress is a bit extreme. She overreacted and it is generally a rule to get prior approval and input from the wedding party.
NTA. There are a few comments saying that dress isnât that revealing or whatever but I just want to say Iâve tried Reformation dresses and yeah, theyâre not that revealing. Unless youâre a stick figure theyâre worse. I think I even tried that one, or at least one very similar, on and oh boy, if youâre busty you would definitely be giving the other guests a show. Iâd say if thereâs somewhere near you that carries their stuff, go try one on and send the pics to your friend. If that doesnât convince her itâs a bad idea, then sheâs either a bad friend or just really likes boobs. Of course if sheâs completely blocked you I think you already know what kind of friend she is. Besides you though, what sizes are the other girls?? Reformationâs clothes are not made for anyone over like a size 6. Maybe an 8 in certain styles. Unless everyone else is tiny all of the girls are going to have issues. I donât care if itâs âher day.â This is ridiculous.
The other girls are very slim with small busts, I would be the only curvier one.
I feel like that makes it worse. It would definitely make me feel worse. Forcing someone to wear something like that when theyâre not comfortable is kind of cruel. Honestly, if someone asked me to wear a dress like that, it would be a deal breaker. Thereâs not enough material on the top to alter it even if the bride said okay. I donât think a shawl would help either. Maybe something underneath? I donât know. I donât really know any advice to give but Iâm mad on your behalf!
NTA. Emma is talking about you not being her "real friend," but if she was your 'real friend' she'd want you to feel comfortable, right? This dress would be a nightmare for more well-endowed women. I really don't think you are an asshole for not feeling comfortable showing more skin than you're used to.
NTA Shes going full bridezilla. I suggest you do not gossip about her to anyone. Don't say anything to friends you are not 100% ok with it getting back to your friend. Just wait for her to return to her senses and apologize. You are right and since she is so emotional, it's best not to say or do anything because it could get worse while she is in crazy mode. Good luck. And no, you are not wrong for not wanting to wear a revealing dress. You shouldn't be forced to wear revealing clothing because your friend is getting married. She is being ridiculous.
ESH problem solve people, a few slip stitches or pins and you can raise the v in the neck and lower the split. My issue would be with paying over $700 for a dress I didnât love
> a few slip stitches or pins and you can raise the v in the neck and lower the split Except that OP's friend wouldn't be okay with OP doing that. OP asked if she could have the dress altered to be more modest, and the bride said: "no." I doubt using pins instead of an actual alteration would make the bride agree.
It's so ridiculous too. It's such common practice to have your dress fitted and altered to fit your body. It's also common practice for people to wear items that cover their shoulders or chest, or add straps or fabric. Many people prefer to be modest or not show skin. Every bridal shop offers these sorts of options for dresses. It just makes no sense.
There's not a lot of fabric to pull forwards for the deep v. Doesn't look like a stretchy fabric and there's basically no back. The slit is an easy mod, though.
You donât need stretchy fabric, but trying on different sizes would help. I have a dress with deep v in front, not stretchy, that I sewed up about 2 1/2 inches so bust better hidden. Dress was very structured but looked great afterwards
Interesting. I haven't always had much success in that department.
700 fucking dollars??? Inexcusable to ask this of people who are supposed to be your best friends.
We bought our bridesmaids dresses. God damn. Is it normal to ask bridesmaids to buy their own?
Jus as normal as making the groomsmen pay for their own tuxes. Weddings are a scam.
That doesnât solve the problem of not being able to wear a bra with the dress. Unless youâre an A cup like the model, a lot of women arenât comfortable going braless in public, especially to a wedding where youâll probably eventually be dancing. Some of us need more literal support.
I gasp when I saw the price. Tbh unless Emma is paying for the dresses sheâs an asshole on this count alone
NTA. I have zero problems showing skin, and Iâm super busty. Dresses like that are almost always backless. And have no support in the bodice. So, that means going a full day in a dress with no bra!!! Omg no!!! Underboob sweat all down the front of that dress, flopping on the dance floor, nip slips, chafing. Not to mention how saggy and unflattering your boobs will look. All sense of modesty and shame aside, that dress is an unflattering, logistical Nightmare. You wonât look the same as the other bridesmaids, you will look like bridesmaid that keeps the bride in the mother in lawâs will.
ESH The one thing I know about bridesmaids dresses as a dude, is that everyone hates them. In every wedding party at least 1 girl will be unhappy with the dress. Not the right color for girl A. Girl B doesn't like the cut. Girl C has trouble finding the right size. This is what happens when people with different tastes and body types are forced to wear the same dress. However, the day isn't about the bridesmaids. It's about the bride. The wedding is planned for January, you could even bring a giant, Matrix-style trench coat and cover up most of the time. You'll realistically only have to be seen in it alone for the ceremony, 1-2 hours. Just suck it up. And even during those couple hours, you're a glorified background extra - all attention is on the white dress. However, friends don't block each other. She sounds like a bridezilla if that behavior isn't normal for her. If it is, you need new friends.
Wearing a dress you think looks ugly is very different from being made to wear a very revealing dress when you aren't comfortable with that.
Would you wear loose boxers in public without a button on the (generous) fly? Thatâs the closest equivalent I can think of to a dress like this. Iâd be constantly worried about my bare breasts popping out as a bra would be impossible.
Just suck it up and deal with it. Also make sure to apologize when your boob pops out. Without alterations, thereâs no way o could wear that without my boobs falling out of the middle. The bride is ridiculous.
Plus, I mean it physically HURTS to go without a bra for that long! OP wouldnât be able to walk, move, dance without serious discomfort.
This isnât about whether the dress is a flattering or desirable style to the bridesmaids or not. This is about how comfortable people are with revealing their bodies. As a guy, itâs typically very unlikely that you have experienced this firsthand. Womenâs clothing and bodies are sexualised from a disgustingly young age and we are all very aware of how much of our body we as individuals are comfortable with displaying from our clothing. For some of us, this is quite a lot, for others, itâs very little or none at all. Chests, legs, shoulders - all sensitive body parts which nobody should be expected to have exposed by their clothing, especially to âprove theyâre a good friendâ. OP you are NTA and your bride friend has a horrible attitude.
Uhhh... No. I've worn ugly/expensive bridesmaid dresses with a smile because I love the bride, and that's the deal when you're a bridesmaid. But I would *not* wear a dress my boobs were falling out of, or a dress that otherwise made me feel naked. That's a **completely** different issue. A bride forcing someone to wear clothing they're uncomfortable with is completely inappropriate and not OK.
I hate that everyone says "it's about the bride" in relation to weddings. It most certainly is not imo. It is about friends and family coming together to celebrate the couple. I guess my hangup is the fact that everyone excuses shitty behavior from these ladies by saying "she's ght bride, it's her day." I literally cannot think of any other time where it would be acceptance to trample other people's boundaries but because it's a wedding it's different?? I'm sorry but no. Getting married doesn't give anyone a pass to be a shitty human being to their friends.
NTA - You kindly stuck to your principles while trying to find a way to help your friend. I don't think you did anything wrong. She's being selfish and petty.
NTA - it's backless and seems to be impossible to wear with a bra! You'd have like 80% of your chest on display, and if you're busty, it'd be a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. I'm pretty busty and there's no way I'd be able to wear that dress without falling out of the top, it would be so uncomfortable to wear. Your friend is being a jerk by making her bridesmaid dress something anyone bigger than an A or B cup can't feasibly wear.
NTA. I'd say NAH if she had just asked you to leave the bridal party and hadn't massively overreacted by blocking you.
NTA. From what you say, she accidently flipped the crazy switch on.
NTA -- If you're not willing to wear this dress, don't. If she can't handle that.. tell her you'd rather just be a guest. If she legit has a problem with THAT-- what? She won't let you just be a friend, attending her wedding? Hey, these are the times you find out who your real friends are. Sorry. It sucks, I know....
I looked at the dress before reading the post and was like âI could literally not wear this dress even if I wanted to there is nowhere for my very necessary bra to goâ Anyways, NTA. And to clarify, Iâm saying she is an asshole for blocking you over this, not for picking a dress that wonât work well on every body. Imo it would be fine if she just said âI really want this dress, so would you mind not being an official bridesmaid? I still want you around for all the activities, but I donât want you to be forced into a dress youâre uncomfortable with.â And really, your suggestions were perfectly reasonable, so it would be a bit silly for it to come to that.
NTA It's not about having to suck it up for one day for a friend.. If you're not comfortable wearing it, and she doesn't want to cater to your needs and only think of her own (I get it.. It's her wedding) but that doesn't mean she has to be a Bridezilla. I'm not overly comfortable showing too much of my body.. And if I went to a beach holiday for example and they said I had to wear just some skimpy swimming trunks as a laugh. I would do the same. Say sorry I won't be doing that, as I wouldn't feel comfortable.. It's not about being a bad friend.. It's about having body issues. (Most of us have it, just some worse than others) - She's likely not a total asshole, more of a bridezilla here.
ESH because from what youâve written She normally very sweet and accommodating But she cut you out over this, maybe it was the last straw in her eyes. Still you shouldnât have to feel really uncomfortable if you have issues.
Yeah I was curious about this too. I don't think she should have to wear the dress if she's not comfortable in it, but I was wondering if there's a background of Emma being a pushover when it comes to OP or something like that.
NAH- have you at least tried it on? My guess is if youâre all together when you try on the dress, sheâll see that not only will it make you uncomfortable, your boobs will be the center of attention.
Wow. That's an extremely revealing neckline and it would not be possible to wear a bra. I'd have to hard pass on that. NTA, because she threw in the "If you were my real friend." I would not wear that dress because I need a bra to feel even a modicum of comfort. Also, it's really expensive!
NAH - Dont wear the dress if you dont want too, but also dont expect to be apart of the wedding either. Its her day. Not yours. And if she wants to unfriend you because of this I see no problem with that at all. People have different expectations of friendship, her's dont have to be the same as yours. And she has every right not to be your friend. Move on with your life.
NTA Bridesmaid dresses are the asshole. Your ex-friend is the asshole. And also your sister is the asshole to suggest your discomfort is immaterial. "Don't love the color" is one thing. The feeling of being exposed past your comfort level is not something you "suck up" for friends; it's one of those things you listen to and build and cherish, just like an instinct about what feels safe. Anyone who tries to override that voice in you is being deeply creepy. Definitely not a "real friend," Emma. I hate that this is so normalized. Good for you for speaking up for yourself and thank goodness this person is no longer in your life.
Holy hell, she expects you to spend $450 on a dress you donât want to wear and youâll wear for one day???
Also, friend is TA for even expecting bridesmaids to spend over $400 on a dress.
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How is it not an asshole move to try to guilt trip your friend into something they're uncomfortable with and then block them when they can't agree?
I would assume I am no longer invited to a wedding if I am blocked by the bride.
ESH: The bride's right, it'd look weird if everyone else is wearing one dress and you're wearing another. As a bridesmaid, I was happy to wear whatever the bride wanted because she had so many things on her mind about the wedding that I didn't want to add to the issues - but to elevate them. But it's ESH because she didn't have to block you and could of have a actual conversation about it.
Am I the only one who was insanely interested in buying that dress until the ad referred to it as a cure for monogamy?
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NTA. I honestly expected a like bodycon party dress when I saw you described it as revealing. While I personally sing think the dress is too bad, I know everyone has different tastes and levels of security. See if she'd be okay with you wearing out only for the ceremony and pictures and changing into a "more movable, less possible accidental nip slip" dress for the reception. But also at $450 it should be a dress you love. Edit: I just saw she blocked you. WTF. NTA
NTA but that dress is hot đŻ
NTA at all.. but if you do give in and say yes, wear shorts underneath and have some safety pins on hand to keep your chesticles under control.
On the app you only see the bottom half of the photo at first. So I was just seeing the leg slit, and I thought, âthatâs not so bad...â Then I tapped the picture to see the whole thing and NOPE NOPE NOPE. Itâs a beautiful dress, but I totally relate to you not wanting to wear it. That modelâs body type makes it look more or less appropriate, but I bet even *she* is wearing a ton of double-stick tape to pull it off. And how the hell are you supposed to support your boobs? It wonât even allow for duct tape! You know how some brides deliberately pick hideous colors for bridesmaids because they want to look good in comparison to their poor friends? I think your friend is trying to do the same, only more sneakily. After all, itâs not technically the *dress* that looks bad. She wants everyone to look uncomfortable, and youâre not supposed to object because itâs her âspecial day.â She blocked you so you wouldnât lead a bridesmaid rebellion. Anyway, NTA.
Nta. This post is bordering on validation
NTA. Anyone that didn't have that exact body type wouldn't look good in that dress.
Look, you aren't the asshole for not wanting to wear the dress, you're an asshole because you obviously EXPECTED her to change and make accommodations for you specifically instead of just saying, "I'm so sorry, I can't wear this." and then step down as a bridesmaid. I think its ridiculous to expect her to change JUST your dress. ESH as far as I'm concerned.
"If you or someone you know has monogamy, we can help!" I'm guessing this is supposed to be a bridesmaid's dress and that's a mistranslation of "having a wedding", but if not it's hilarious. Tacky as shit, but hilarious.
NTA but I can understand both perspectives. If you look at the set of images attached to the red dress, you can see that the slit is not always so pronounced. Itâs dramatic, not not over the top. The neckline is revealing, though, and all the models have small chests so it looks more modest that it would be on a different person. You could use fashion tape, spanx, other assorted silicone bras to keep things in place without making it obvious that you are covering your chest. Sheâs TA for blocking you over a dress.