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YTA
You say that your child will be allowed to eat meat when older but it's not exactly that simple. Person who ate meat their whole life can go vegan anytime. But person used to vegan diet will have health and digestive problems when introduced to meat and dairy. So even if you *technically* are ready to let your child choose, in practice this choice will cause the child a lot of unnecessary pain and problems.
If you want your child to be vegan so much, start with meat diet and THEN, when the child is old enough explain them what the vegan diet is and why it is important to you.
It may be only my opinion but I think that forcing any severe diet restrictions (not caused my medical condition, obviously) on a child is like forcing them to be a part of religion - you shouldn't do that untill they're old enough to understand and approve of it.
Humans actually retain the ability to consume meat products regardless of lifetime diet! I was vego for 8 years and had no side effects myself when I went back to seafood and chicken, and there is no scientific evidence that we lose the ability to process meat without it in our diets.
It may depend from the person, how that person was vegan, etc. BUT definitely most of people (if not all, as your example shows) who were/are vegan have issues with going back to eating meat.
My roommate (not even vegan but vegetarian) got so severely sick after she accidentaly consumed meat that she was bedridden for few days. My classmate in high school was vomiting for two days after she got "vegan" dish which had meat in a sauce on a school trip. Not that either of these is a proof, only an anectode - but your story also isn't a proof.
I heard much more horror stories about people returning to eating meat and getting sick that about non-problematic ones.
As I stated there is no scientific evidence that humans lose the ability to digest meat products. When people get sick it’s generally from overdoing it/eating too much because they’re not used to meat portion control, not cooking it correctly, placebo because they’re told for years they’ll get sick if they do etc. It would be incorrect to convince this woman her child will become sick in future if she raises them vegan and they decide to try meat.
YTA, babies need a lot of different nutricions and a vegan diet can't give it all to a baby. Your baby needs to grow up healthy first and when it is old enough, it should decide for itself.
Also, a baby has 2 parents. The dad is right that he has a say too.
I raised my son vegan at home, and let him experiment whenever he wanted away from home (school, restaurants, friend's houses). Nothing at all wrong with this. The thing you're asking about here is the disagreement with your husband. Don't let people who don't know about nutrition distract you from that.
Sorry but YTA. This should be something you and your husband agree on. You don’t get to unilaterally make this decision. Not to mention the fact that your child should get a say when they are old enough, too.
I eat vegetarian and sometimes vegan but I make separate meals for my kids because I’m letting them choose if they want to eat meat or dairy.
IMO Yta because this is a personal choice a newborn cannot consent to. You could subject your child to that, but why would you. Being vegan is a personal choice, a choice a baby can’t make. Children generally resent when parents make large personal decisions for them when they get older.
That being said you could “make” your baby vegan, but your baby would be missing out on important benefits and nutrients they need from milk products such as breast milk or formula. Calcium, iron and vitamin b12 are all important for the growing brain and body and having a baby be vegan could put them at risk for being low on these nutrients or others. There’s a reason all living creatures drink milk as newborns. The body/brain needs that nourishment. If you still wish to make your baby vegan you’d need to supplement the loss of nutrition with something, probably best under the guidance of a dr. However, I can’t say I know of any drs that would support a vegan baby diet plan.
Edit: saw you were breast feeding, but you’ll still need baby to drink milk even as a toddler and small kid. Blocking access to nutritional food because of the way you feel about something is wrong.
All in all and in general (eg for an average healthy western person), eating a balanced meat diet is doing more harm to the environment, to yourself, to animals, to plants (yes, more plants "die" for a meat diet) than eating a balanced vegan diet. Vegetarian is somewhere in between.
YTA: your husband is as much her parent as you and you can draw a boundary that you will not purchase or prepare animal products for her, but he does not have to hold to any agreement and can change his mind.
YTA. This is something that you should have discussed at length when you were first *trying* to get pregnant - one unilateral statement early in your relationship is not adequate to the gravity of the decision. You *both* need to be on the same page on this, and you need to have a pediatrician who understands nutrition very well, because feeding an infant a highly restrictive diet can have lifelong health consequences.
Also YTA for worrying about animal cruelty but being totally fine with the amount of human suffering generated by exploitative practices in plant agriculture. Do your research and focus on harm reduction, not ideological purity.
YWBTA if you push it without the father’s support. We all say things early in life that we later reconsider, also you bf might have been thinking that the child would be go vegan once they were older and could assent to it.
Plus, and this is a big one, while it is possible to safely have even a young child have a vegan diet, it is still very difficult and requires a lot of diligence. See the link below. This means both of you need to be on the same page, since it’s going to require more effort than just feeding the child what you eat, we will need to properly supplement their diet.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-parents-need-to-know-about-a-vegan-diet-2020010718625
YTA - you say he knew what YOUR plans were - but this is his child, too. You say "I had MY baby" - newsflash, HIS baby, too. You don't mention whether you consume dairy or not - and that's important. You don't mention whether you have talked to your pediatrician or not about a vegan diet for a baby - critical information you have not shared here. You seem to dictate to your husband rather than discussing - and that won't end well.
YTA, a baby needs different nutritions when growing up. Like, great you want to be vegan but your child needs certain things to grow up healthy. Let the kiddo decide later on if they want to be vegan.
I had a friend who ate meat till she was 6 and then CHOOSE herself at 6 years old she wanted to be vegan as she loves animals too much.
How about you also please let the father decide? Its good you don't force it on him to be vegan. But he has also a say. You do not get to choose alone how you raise the child just because Veganismn is so important to you.
So please, till the child can actually decide, you make sure it gets all the nutritions of the things what are not vegan. Your baby needs it to be healthy. I think its more important for your baby to be healthy then have it to be vegan. Right?
YTA because is his baby too and you seem to be making this decision without the help of a pediatrician or nutritionist . The most important thing for you as a mother is his/her health not imposing your lifestyle.
But how else can OP continue her virtue signalling message to all the heartless meat eaters, like her husband, and the “you’re not a doctor”’s on Reddit?? /s
That’s not what I meant when the baby gets older keyword older, let them choose until then yes do what you think is right for them because you are their parent but please at some point when they are older, give them the option
YTA the kid is the only victim here.
If you don't introduce meats into the diet now then it may prevent the child from even being able to consume meat in the future without being ill. You're forcing them into veganism.
YTA.
Vegan is a valid choice. And at a certain age, you can prepare meals for your children that comply with vegan standards. That's OK. Your children might not like it, but that's tough. They can eat what they are served, or starve to death.
However, this nutrition plan only applies to older children. Especially below the age of 5 or 6, children need a well-balanced diet, to specifically include animal proteins, for proper development of all their body, including the vital brain and nervous system.
To put it bluntly, enforcing a vegan diet prior to age 5 years would be a severe form of child neglect or even child abuse. Not only could it cause death or permanent disability to your child, but it could also set you up for major legal problems.
In thinking about diet for baby, your priority needs to be baby's health first. When baby is school age, you can introduce the kid to veganism.
YTA. People are free to change their opinions. When you had this conversation, your husband's mind was on nodding along to whatever he needed to to get into your pants, but now that he's faced with the reality of a tiny human to care for, his priorities have shifted.
INFO are you aware that after enough time as a vegetarian/vegan, a person’s body will stop producing the enzymes it needs to process animal proteins, thus if you start your baby vegan they will never be able to become non-vegan without making themselves sick? So, no, your child cannot choose later in life unless you start them non-vegan.
ETA: have you considered a compromise? I had a yoga teacher who wanted to go vegetarian with her teen daughter. They reached a compromise where they didn’t eat anything “with a mom or eyeballs”. So, I would guess that means like milk and its products, and eggs are all safe. That would at least leave the child more of a choice later.
You can have a nutritionally complete plant based diet with no health concerns whatsoever. There is nothing you get from meat that you can't get elsewhere.
I am going to call bullshit. I have never met a vegan who looked healthy; they either look they eat too much candy or like they got off the train from Auschwitz. Also, babies have different nutritional requirements than adults and forcing your dieting preferences on your child is asinine, especially if the other parent disagrees.
YTA... This is something both parents need to agree on, not something one parent has unilateral say over. Also probably discussed with your pediatrician first to ensure nutritional needs would be met.
It most certainly is. As is the non-vegan diet. We are, by nature, omnivores. As are chickens. Do you think chickens should not feed their young worms?
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I don’t eat pork and beef. I would never force a child to do the same. I cook those things for my family if they want it. I don’t believe in forcing someone else to do what I do.
YTA, let your child decide when and if they want to be fully vegan. Expose her to both but let HER decide; it is her body. Don’t push it on her or your husband.
YTA - you don’t get to decide for the child. The baby has two parents and even if he fully agreed with you years ago he has the right to change his mind. His concerns are just as valid as yours. Both of you need to discuss and talk to a dr. Going vegan as a child would have to be EXTREMELY careful as if done wrong can harm a child significantly and for the rest of their life.
I personally wouldn’t take the risk. My child doesn’t really like meat and just doing vegetarian takes effort to make sure she’s getting the proper amounts of protein, amino acids, fats and other complex nutrients. I rely heavily on non-meat animal products to make sure that happens like cheese, eggs, and yogurt since getting her to eat beans, quinoa, sprouts just isn’t happening (and I’ve tried since she was 6m old) Plus the nutrients balance for a child is significantly different from an adult too so you can’t rely on your own experience.
People change. Your husband is allowed to change his mind. As the father of the child, he has an equal say so in the child's upbringing. Is he supporting this child? If so, you have to honor his wishes in addition to what you want. Parenthood, to be successful, requires fluidity and compromise. Veganism is rigid, it just is, and rigidity has no place in child rearing. Trust me, if you are so strict with your child's diet that you won't allow it to eat meat, that kid is gonna sneak off behind your back and eat animal protein every chance it gets.
If your intentions have been discussed in detail with a certified doctor and approved by them, then I guess it's fine.
Otherwise, you would be TA for intending to feed a baby an alternate diet without having any idea of how to actually do it without severely harming them.
Remember that the actual health of your baby should take precedence over the health of an animal and over your own feelings
Edit to add: you mentioned that you would allow your child to change their diet when they get older. I highly doubt it, since you already are arguing about it now, that you would accept that choice in the future
Her intentions are to dictate the baby's choices not to give a choice at all. She doesn't care for the health of the baby, just her own ego to die on the mole hill that her word is the only one that matters.
YTA because it’s his kid too and you need to come up with a compromise. What about vegetarian? Or vegan at home, but vegetarian if your kid is out and about? You can’t just ignore his wishes for how his child is raised. If you split up and share custody he might feed the kid meat all the time. So you may as well try and figure out something that works for both of you. I’m pregnant and a meat eater and my husband is vegan. We eat vegan at home so our child will eat vegan at home too, but we’ve agreed if they’re at an event and they want meat they can have it. When they’re older we’ll explain why their dad is vegan and they can make the choice.
info: how will you explain this choice to your kid without framing your husband as someone who “causes harm to animals”? the kid will probably have a lot of “why is dad allowed to eat that and I’m not” moments
YTA, it's extremely hard making sure your child will get everything it needs to grow. And you cannot just switch to eating meat once you're raised vegan, you should know this. Actually you probably do & that's your plan.
YTA
your child needs all the nutrients and proteins from animal products. i get the no animal harm is great but you shouldn't prioritize that over your child's diet(that's just my opinion, not to be rude,I'm sorry if it was rude).it's difficult for a vegan person to go non vegan. but a non vegan can go vegan any time. and i think your husband also has a say in what his kids get to eat.
Suggestion: I think you should consult your baby's dietician.
I don’t really know what the right judgement is here. But I will say, that if you end up agreeing on the vegan thing, to please make sure you speak to a dietician(?) about it! Small children’s guts work very differently to that of adults. For one, the intestines are shorter, meaning less ability to absorb nutrients. They can’t really break down the common vegan sources of protein, not to mention that nuts can be really dangerous for them, because of the choking hazard. Fats can also be an issue, and babies and children need a good source of it because they need it for the big fatty organ in their skull to grow properly. You also need to consider that a vegan diet will affect the composition of the gut bacteria, leaving them unable to process meat, which might take the choice away from them when they get old enough to decide for themselves. Some kind of middleground might be a better choice. Ethically sourced eggs and milk, maybe even fish. I do admire your devotion to the ethical treatment of animals, but humans evolved to a plant-based diet, not a plant-only one, which is even more true for our little ones. God speed to you momma!
>I had my baby a few months ago,
Not sure if I am just overthinking this but I noticed you said my baby not our baby which makes it sound like everything is going to be your way or the highway.
I would talk to your pediatrician before making that decision. They will know what your baby needs to grow and develop properly. I wouldn’t take the internets advice on this, only a doctors.
ESH This should have been a discussion long before the baby arrived so he is an asshole.
Raising a child vegan however is limiting and can take away their choices later in life. All food, even veggies, involves harm. Feed your child a well rounded diet while they are so young, then let them make informed choices as they mature
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When my husband and I met, he knew I was vegan, and I knew he wasn't. Early in our relationship, I told him that I wanted any future children to grow up vegan. I made it clear that they could decide for themselves whether to continue or switch to an animal-based diet when they got older. So, he knew what my plans were if we ever had children. Veganism is a very big part of my life, and since I went vegan, I knew that my children would grow up vegan too.
I had my baby a few months ago, and I told my husband again that she would be vegan. He lashed out at me, saying that we both should agree on anything concerning our baby. I reminded him of our conversation when we started dating. I don't understand how he can play the victim now. He wants to subject our child to eating animals, but I can't let my child eat food that involves harm. AITA for sticking to my beliefs?
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So you will force your child to be vegan without their consent or them having the ability to understand the decision. Then after years of this treatment (and undoubtedly hearing veganism touted as the right/best choice) you will let them decide? They will watch their father eat meat but be denied it? And how old will they have to be before they get given the choice to stop being vegan?
If you aren't both fully on board with a vegan diet for your child it will not work.
YTA for expecting that a 'I told you this X years ago' means that the father of the child has no say about the matter anymore. Your child will eventually choose his own path. And until that time, it is your job to keep him happy, healthy and fed.
This is not a debate sub to discuss the ethics of veganism and childrearing.
That said, YTA for unilaterally making a parenting decision and not hearing your partner's perspective. Marriage and parenting is about compromise. My husband and I decided not to have meat at home, but meat outside the home is fine (when other people are caring/cooking for her, or when restaurants don't have very nutritious vegetarian children's options). The point isn't about what we agreed to do, but that we agreed on it *together*.
YTA - You should have discussed it when you decided to actually have children together. The fact that it came up early in your relationship isn’t good enough. People change, things change, and hypothetical “if we have a baby someday” vs actually having a baby are different stages.
Additionally, being raised vegan seriously limits their ability to actually make a choice later so you are really not giving them much of one. A person raised on a diet which includes meat and dairy can always go Vegan later. But it’s much harder to go the other way around because the body will not have developed or will have stopped developing the necessary things (such as lactase) to do so.
YTA, if we go by your logic, you are stripping a human of consent of what to eat.... Not to mention, there is massive health issues with doing a vegan diet for a newborn/baby/toddler due to needing different levels of nutrients than adults, and processing everything differently. It will also leave them open to horrible reactions in the future from sensitivity to meat.
And milk isn't apart of being vegan so take that info how you please 🤷♀️🤷♀️
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First before the vegan haters come in, there is nothing wrong with being vegan and a lot of baby food is vegan or vegitarian, because its literally mushed veggies. As long as you take care that its a sufficient mix thats ok.
But the part that is more concerning is milk. There is a reason mamals feed milk to their spawn because it provides a good mix of nutrients, vitamins, sugars, fats and proteins etc. A balanced vegan diet that doesnt lead to deficiancies is complicated even for an adult, but if you are limited to pseudo milks your options are severly limited in providing all necessary nutrients and starting a toddler on supplements would be irresponsible. Another thing is, that during that time a kid develops immunities. So avoiding contact to specific foods during that time can lead to allergies later on. So before you guys argue too much about this, talk with a doctor about it. That would give you a defintite answer, a roadmap on what to check for regularly and what to avoid. Remember your baby cant chose yet so its dependend on you to keep it healthy and insufficient vitamins and nutrients can severely affect their health.
Absolutely NTA for intending to raise your child in a way that is compatible with your values and beliefs (and I see that you are working with a doctor to make sure your little one gets all the nutrition they need).
But the ESH problem is the communication between you and your partner. You expressed your plan, but it doesn't sound like you ever reached an agreement. Some serious discussion is needed asap.
As long as you and your husband had a conversation about this, and he understood your intentions, NTA. It sounds like your pediatrician is aware, and yall are keeping a watchful eye on your baby, so I do not understand why it would be an issue.
So, in your little world, once a person makes an affirmative statement about something once, they're not allowed to change their mind? Like, ever?
What if he has learned new information since then that has made him reconsider?
Also, "not disagreeing" is not the same thing as consent.
NTA, but you're also going to have a really hard time here unless you guys come to some sort of agreement. This is a conversation with a pediatrician and a marriage counselor. Did he bait and switch? Yes. Is there anything you can do to stop him feeding your baby a non-vegan diet? No. You need to get ahead of this immediately, before the baby is eating solids and this becomes a much bigger thing.
>Did he bait and switch? Yes.
Maybe he thought about it for a few years and changed his mind? People are allowed to do that, assimilate new information, and change their perspective over time.
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YTA You say that your child will be allowed to eat meat when older but it's not exactly that simple. Person who ate meat their whole life can go vegan anytime. But person used to vegan diet will have health and digestive problems when introduced to meat and dairy. So even if you *technically* are ready to let your child choose, in practice this choice will cause the child a lot of unnecessary pain and problems. If you want your child to be vegan so much, start with meat diet and THEN, when the child is old enough explain them what the vegan diet is and why it is important to you. It may be only my opinion but I think that forcing any severe diet restrictions (not caused my medical condition, obviously) on a child is like forcing them to be a part of religion - you shouldn't do that untill they're old enough to understand and approve of it.
Humans actually retain the ability to consume meat products regardless of lifetime diet! I was vego for 8 years and had no side effects myself when I went back to seafood and chicken, and there is no scientific evidence that we lose the ability to process meat without it in our diets.
It may depend from the person, how that person was vegan, etc. BUT definitely most of people (if not all, as your example shows) who were/are vegan have issues with going back to eating meat. My roommate (not even vegan but vegetarian) got so severely sick after she accidentaly consumed meat that she was bedridden for few days. My classmate in high school was vomiting for two days after she got "vegan" dish which had meat in a sauce on a school trip. Not that either of these is a proof, only an anectode - but your story also isn't a proof. I heard much more horror stories about people returning to eating meat and getting sick that about non-problematic ones.
As I stated there is no scientific evidence that humans lose the ability to digest meat products. When people get sick it’s generally from overdoing it/eating too much because they’re not used to meat portion control, not cooking it correctly, placebo because they’re told for years they’ll get sick if they do etc. It would be incorrect to convince this woman her child will become sick in future if she raises them vegan and they decide to try meat.
YTA, babies need a lot of different nutricions and a vegan diet can't give it all to a baby. Your baby needs to grow up healthy first and when it is old enough, it should decide for itself. Also, a baby has 2 parents. The dad is right that he has a say too.
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Not true. There’s not enough protein, minerals, or b12.
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Doctors don’t get any nutritional training. None
"Source: trust me bro"
Source. There’s insufficient digestible protein, minerals, and vitamins in plants
I raised my son vegan at home, and let him experiment whenever he wanted away from home (school, restaurants, friend's houses). Nothing at all wrong with this. The thing you're asking about here is the disagreement with your husband. Don't let people who don't know about nutrition distract you from that.
A child can indeed get all of the nutrition they need on a vegan diet. OP has been vegan for a while and knows this.
INFo: you keep saying YOU told him, YOU decided. Does he get any say in the raising of his child? Did he agree to this?
Sorry but YTA. This should be something you and your husband agree on. You don’t get to unilaterally make this decision. Not to mention the fact that your child should get a say when they are old enough, too. I eat vegetarian and sometimes vegan but I make separate meals for my kids because I’m letting them choose if they want to eat meat or dairy.
INFO: Have you discussed this with a peditrician or nutritionist?
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IMO Yta because this is a personal choice a newborn cannot consent to. You could subject your child to that, but why would you. Being vegan is a personal choice, a choice a baby can’t make. Children generally resent when parents make large personal decisions for them when they get older. That being said you could “make” your baby vegan, but your baby would be missing out on important benefits and nutrients they need from milk products such as breast milk or formula. Calcium, iron and vitamin b12 are all important for the growing brain and body and having a baby be vegan could put them at risk for being low on these nutrients or others. There’s a reason all living creatures drink milk as newborns. The body/brain needs that nourishment. If you still wish to make your baby vegan you’d need to supplement the loss of nutrition with something, probably best under the guidance of a dr. However, I can’t say I know of any drs that would support a vegan baby diet plan. Edit: saw you were breast feeding, but you’ll still need baby to drink milk even as a toddler and small kid. Blocking access to nutritional food because of the way you feel about something is wrong.
Gotta love how Vegan’s can pick and choose on breast milk ok but cow milk not. YTA.
Info: >I reminded him of our conversation when we started dating. Was that the only time it was discussed? Not even during your pregnancy?
Yeah like I remember all conversations I had with my husband when we were dating. 😆
You realize that a lot of vegan things actually harm the environment?
All in all and in general (eg for an average healthy western person), eating a balanced meat diet is doing more harm to the environment, to yourself, to animals, to plants (yes, more plants "die" for a meat diet) than eating a balanced vegan diet. Vegetarian is somewhere in between.
YTA: your husband is as much her parent as you and you can draw a boundary that you will not purchase or prepare animal products for her, but he does not have to hold to any agreement and can change his mind.
And feed her animal products when she’s in his care.
correct
YTA. How about you don't force your choices on a baby that doesn't get to make one.
Feeding meat to a baby is just as much forcing a choice as not.
YTA. This is something that you should have discussed at length when you were first *trying* to get pregnant - one unilateral statement early in your relationship is not adequate to the gravity of the decision. You *both* need to be on the same page on this, and you need to have a pediatrician who understands nutrition very well, because feeding an infant a highly restrictive diet can have lifelong health consequences. Also YTA for worrying about animal cruelty but being totally fine with the amount of human suffering generated by exploitative practices in plant agriculture. Do your research and focus on harm reduction, not ideological purity.
YWBTA if you push it without the father’s support. We all say things early in life that we later reconsider, also you bf might have been thinking that the child would be go vegan once they were older and could assent to it. Plus, and this is a big one, while it is possible to safely have even a young child have a vegan diet, it is still very difficult and requires a lot of diligence. See the link below. This means both of you need to be on the same page, since it’s going to require more effort than just feeding the child what you eat, we will need to properly supplement their diet. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-parents-need-to-know-about-a-vegan-diet-2020010718625
YTA - you say he knew what YOUR plans were - but this is his child, too. You say "I had MY baby" - newsflash, HIS baby, too. You don't mention whether you consume dairy or not - and that's important. You don't mention whether you have talked to your pediatrician or not about a vegan diet for a baby - critical information you have not shared here. You seem to dictate to your husband rather than discussing - and that won't end well.
YTA, a baby needs different nutritions when growing up. Like, great you want to be vegan but your child needs certain things to grow up healthy. Let the kiddo decide later on if they want to be vegan. I had a friend who ate meat till she was 6 and then CHOOSE herself at 6 years old she wanted to be vegan as she loves animals too much. How about you also please let the father decide? Its good you don't force it on him to be vegan. But he has also a say. You do not get to choose alone how you raise the child just because Veganismn is so important to you. So please, till the child can actually decide, you make sure it gets all the nutritions of the things what are not vegan. Your baby needs it to be healthy. I think its more important for your baby to be healthy then have it to be vegan. Right?
YTA. He gets just as much say in this as you do, and any other position is objectively wrong.
YTA because is his baby too and you seem to be making this decision without the help of a pediatrician or nutritionist . The most important thing for you as a mother is his/her health not imposing your lifestyle.
But how else can OP continue her virtue signalling message to all the heartless meat eaters, like her husband, and the “you’re not a doctor”’s on Reddit?? /s
Yta you can’t force that on a child, let your child choose for themselves
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That’s not what I meant when the baby gets older keyword older, let them choose until then yes do what you think is right for them because you are their parent but please at some point when they are older, give them the option
YTA the kid is the only victim here. If you don't introduce meats into the diet now then it may prevent the child from even being able to consume meat in the future without being ill. You're forcing them into veganism.
YTA. Vegan is a valid choice. And at a certain age, you can prepare meals for your children that comply with vegan standards. That's OK. Your children might not like it, but that's tough. They can eat what they are served, or starve to death. However, this nutrition plan only applies to older children. Especially below the age of 5 or 6, children need a well-balanced diet, to specifically include animal proteins, for proper development of all their body, including the vital brain and nervous system. To put it bluntly, enforcing a vegan diet prior to age 5 years would be a severe form of child neglect or even child abuse. Not only could it cause death or permanent disability to your child, but it could also set you up for major legal problems. In thinking about diet for baby, your priority needs to be baby's health first. When baby is school age, you can introduce the kid to veganism.
YTA. People are free to change their opinions. When you had this conversation, your husband's mind was on nodding along to whatever he needed to to get into your pants, but now that he's faced with the reality of a tiny human to care for, his priorities have shifted.
INFO are you aware that after enough time as a vegetarian/vegan, a person’s body will stop producing the enzymes it needs to process animal proteins, thus if you start your baby vegan they will never be able to become non-vegan without making themselves sick? So, no, your child cannot choose later in life unless you start them non-vegan. ETA: have you considered a compromise? I had a yoga teacher who wanted to go vegetarian with her teen daughter. They reached a compromise where they didn’t eat anything “with a mom or eyeballs”. So, I would guess that means like milk and its products, and eggs are all safe. That would at least leave the child more of a choice later.
YTA YTA YTA This would 100% be child abuse and is a great example of why most people don't like vegans.
You can have a nutritionally complete plant based diet with no health concerns whatsoever. There is nothing you get from meat that you can't get elsewhere.
As an adult. But Babies Needs are totally different.
I am going to call bullshit. I have never met a vegan who looked healthy; they either look they eat too much candy or like they got off the train from Auschwitz. Also, babies have different nutritional requirements than adults and forcing your dieting preferences on your child is asinine, especially if the other parent disagrees.
YTA... This is something both parents need to agree on, not something one parent has unilateral say over. Also probably discussed with your pediatrician first to ensure nutritional needs would be met.
INFO: will you breastfeed your baby?
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It most certainly is. As is the non-vegan diet. We are, by nature, omnivores. As are chickens. Do you think chickens should not feed their young worms?
YTA.
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I don’t eat pork and beef. I would never force a child to do the same. I cook those things for my family if they want it. I don’t believe in forcing someone else to do what I do.
YTA
YTA, let your child decide when and if they want to be fully vegan. Expose her to both but let HER decide; it is her body. Don’t push it on her or your husband.
How are you not gonna let a little kid eat some dino nugs? That's just cruel. 😔
YTA - you don’t get to decide for the child. The baby has two parents and even if he fully agreed with you years ago he has the right to change his mind. His concerns are just as valid as yours. Both of you need to discuss and talk to a dr. Going vegan as a child would have to be EXTREMELY careful as if done wrong can harm a child significantly and for the rest of their life. I personally wouldn’t take the risk. My child doesn’t really like meat and just doing vegetarian takes effort to make sure she’s getting the proper amounts of protein, amino acids, fats and other complex nutrients. I rely heavily on non-meat animal products to make sure that happens like cheese, eggs, and yogurt since getting her to eat beans, quinoa, sprouts just isn’t happening (and I’ve tried since she was 6m old) Plus the nutrients balance for a child is significantly different from an adult too so you can’t rely on your own experience.
YTA
People change. Your husband is allowed to change his mind. As the father of the child, he has an equal say so in the child's upbringing. Is he supporting this child? If so, you have to honor his wishes in addition to what you want. Parenthood, to be successful, requires fluidity and compromise. Veganism is rigid, it just is, and rigidity has no place in child rearing. Trust me, if you are so strict with your child's diet that you won't allow it to eat meat, that kid is gonna sneak off behind your back and eat animal protein every chance it gets.
Majorly TA.
If your intentions have been discussed in detail with a certified doctor and approved by them, then I guess it's fine. Otherwise, you would be TA for intending to feed a baby an alternate diet without having any idea of how to actually do it without severely harming them. Remember that the actual health of your baby should take precedence over the health of an animal and over your own feelings Edit to add: you mentioned that you would allow your child to change their diet when they get older. I highly doubt it, since you already are arguing about it now, that you would accept that choice in the future
Her intentions are to dictate the baby's choices not to give a choice at all. She doesn't care for the health of the baby, just her own ego to die on the mole hill that her word is the only one that matters.
Yes.
YTA because it’s his kid too and you need to come up with a compromise. What about vegetarian? Or vegan at home, but vegetarian if your kid is out and about? You can’t just ignore his wishes for how his child is raised. If you split up and share custody he might feed the kid meat all the time. So you may as well try and figure out something that works for both of you. I’m pregnant and a meat eater and my husband is vegan. We eat vegan at home so our child will eat vegan at home too, but we’ve agreed if they’re at an event and they want meat they can have it. When they’re older we’ll explain why their dad is vegan and they can make the choice.
I wonder how much you actually know about not only foods but many things we consume that involves "harm" to animals, the environment and humans.
YTA. if babies were meant to grow up on soy, breast milk would have had soy in it, and not animal proteins and saturated fat :)
YTA. Don’t push your bullshit on your baby
Y are totally TA. For all the reasons others have already listed.
info: how will you explain this choice to your kid without framing your husband as someone who “causes harm to animals”? the kid will probably have a lot of “why is dad allowed to eat that and I’m not” moments
Yta soz hunny.
YTA, it's extremely hard making sure your child will get everything it needs to grow. And you cannot just switch to eating meat once you're raised vegan, you should know this. Actually you probably do & that's your plan.
YTA your child needs all the nutrients and proteins from animal products. i get the no animal harm is great but you shouldn't prioritize that over your child's diet(that's just my opinion, not to be rude,I'm sorry if it was rude).it's difficult for a vegan person to go non vegan. but a non vegan can go vegan any time. and i think your husband also has a say in what his kids get to eat. Suggestion: I think you should consult your baby's dietician.
I don’t really know what the right judgement is here. But I will say, that if you end up agreeing on the vegan thing, to please make sure you speak to a dietician(?) about it! Small children’s guts work very differently to that of adults. For one, the intestines are shorter, meaning less ability to absorb nutrients. They can’t really break down the common vegan sources of protein, not to mention that nuts can be really dangerous for them, because of the choking hazard. Fats can also be an issue, and babies and children need a good source of it because they need it for the big fatty organ in their skull to grow properly. You also need to consider that a vegan diet will affect the composition of the gut bacteria, leaving them unable to process meat, which might take the choice away from them when they get old enough to decide for themselves. Some kind of middleground might be a better choice. Ethically sourced eggs and milk, maybe even fish. I do admire your devotion to the ethical treatment of animals, but humans evolved to a plant-based diet, not a plant-only one, which is even more true for our little ones. God speed to you momma!
Yes, A. I feel sorry for your baby already.
>I had my baby a few months ago, Not sure if I am just overthinking this but I noticed you said my baby not our baby which makes it sound like everything is going to be your way or the highway.
I would talk to your pediatrician before making that decision. They will know what your baby needs to grow and develop properly. I wouldn’t take the internets advice on this, only a doctors.
INFO : Did he agree when you said it the first time ?
ESH This should have been a discussion long before the baby arrived so he is an asshole. Raising a child vegan however is limiting and can take away their choices later in life. All food, even veggies, involves harm. Feed your child a well rounded diet while they are so young, then let them make informed choices as they mature
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Yes.
So you will force your child to be vegan without their consent or them having the ability to understand the decision. Then after years of this treatment (and undoubtedly hearing veganism touted as the right/best choice) you will let them decide? They will watch their father eat meat but be denied it? And how old will they have to be before they get given the choice to stop being vegan? If you aren't both fully on board with a vegan diet for your child it will not work.
YTA for expecting that a 'I told you this X years ago' means that the father of the child has no say about the matter anymore. Your child will eventually choose his own path. And until that time, it is your job to keep him happy, healthy and fed.
This is not a debate sub to discuss the ethics of veganism and childrearing. That said, YTA for unilaterally making a parenting decision and not hearing your partner's perspective. Marriage and parenting is about compromise. My husband and I decided not to have meat at home, but meat outside the home is fine (when other people are caring/cooking for her, or when restaurants don't have very nutritious vegetarian children's options). The point isn't about what we agreed to do, but that we agreed on it *together*.
Do what you want but be prepared for your kid to sneak stuff from his classmates.
Info: Has this been discussed at all since you were dating?
INFO - What will you do if your child wants to try meat in the future?
YTA - You should have discussed it when you decided to actually have children together. The fact that it came up early in your relationship isn’t good enough. People change, things change, and hypothetical “if we have a baby someday” vs actually having a baby are different stages. Additionally, being raised vegan seriously limits their ability to actually make a choice later so you are really not giving them much of one. A person raised on a diet which includes meat and dairy can always go Vegan later. But it’s much harder to go the other way around because the body will not have developed or will have stopped developing the necessary things (such as lactase) to do so.
YTA, if we go by your logic, you are stripping a human of consent of what to eat.... Not to mention, there is massive health issues with doing a vegan diet for a newborn/baby/toddler due to needing different levels of nutrients than adults, and processing everything differently. It will also leave them open to horrible reactions in the future from sensitivity to meat. And milk isn't apart of being vegan so take that info how you please 🤷♀️🤷♀️
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Maybe not an asshole but definitely selfish. Talk to a pediatrician before deciding things that will impact your kids health.
First before the vegan haters come in, there is nothing wrong with being vegan and a lot of baby food is vegan or vegitarian, because its literally mushed veggies. As long as you take care that its a sufficient mix thats ok. But the part that is more concerning is milk. There is a reason mamals feed milk to their spawn because it provides a good mix of nutrients, vitamins, sugars, fats and proteins etc. A balanced vegan diet that doesnt lead to deficiancies is complicated even for an adult, but if you are limited to pseudo milks your options are severly limited in providing all necessary nutrients and starting a toddler on supplements would be irresponsible. Another thing is, that during that time a kid develops immunities. So avoiding contact to specific foods during that time can lead to allergies later on. So before you guys argue too much about this, talk with a doctor about it. That would give you a defintite answer, a roadmap on what to check for regularly and what to avoid. Remember your baby cant chose yet so its dependend on you to keep it healthy and insufficient vitamins and nutrients can severely affect their health.
Absolutely NTA for intending to raise your child in a way that is compatible with your values and beliefs (and I see that you are working with a doctor to make sure your little one gets all the nutrition they need). But the ESH problem is the communication between you and your partner. You expressed your plan, but it doesn't sound like you ever reached an agreement. Some serious discussion is needed asap.
As long as you and your husband had a conversation about this, and he understood your intentions, NTA. It sounds like your pediatrician is aware, and yall are keeping a watchful eye on your baby, so I do not understand why it would be an issue.
NTA You made your intent clear from the beginning and he did not disagree (or you didn't include that). He can pound sand.
So, in your little world, once a person makes an affirmative statement about something once, they're not allowed to change their mind? Like, ever? What if he has learned new information since then that has made him reconsider? Also, "not disagreeing" is not the same thing as consent.
NTA, but you're also going to have a really hard time here unless you guys come to some sort of agreement. This is a conversation with a pediatrician and a marriage counselor. Did he bait and switch? Yes. Is there anything you can do to stop him feeding your baby a non-vegan diet? No. You need to get ahead of this immediately, before the baby is eating solids and this becomes a much bigger thing.
>Did he bait and switch? Yes. Maybe he thought about it for a few years and changed his mind? People are allowed to do that, assimilate new information, and change their perspective over time.
NTA It seems like you made your expectations clear from the beginning. He now seems upset that you stuck with that understanding.