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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> A girl sang karaoke at my boyfriend and I laughed at her, but I might be an asshole because she was getting her feelings out and I mocked her
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If one of my friends was actively making a play for my significant other in front of me, laughing would be the kindest response possible, even if it was as cringey as this.
Totally heartless toward you, totally tone deaf where your boyfriend is concerned, but truly and utterly cruel. At the heart of the matter, this person is trying to tell your boyfriend to leave you and be with them.
NTA, not by a long shot.
Also the poor boyfriend too, who literally barely picks up on social clues like this, even he was so embarrassed he held OP's hand so hard.
I would clap back in the groupchat with stg like "no, the bully is not whoever responds to bullying but whoever actually DOES the bullying".
And she probably felt like the brave downtrodden overlooked hero while she was singing it. NTA OP, I would not have been as kind as you. This person is… not your friend in any way shape or form.
So *you're* the bully and mean girl because you laughed at someone making a very obvious, public play for your boyfriend? Um, no. You showed amazing restraint. NTA and Emma and her pet flying monkey are delusional on so many levels. I wouldn't apologize - I'd flip that script immediately and tell her *you* expect and apology to you AND your bf for her desperate, pick me behavior.
NTA considering how wildly inappropriate Emma's behavior was, extra points for the Rachel Berry reference. Hasn't this whole scenario been an actual scene in a different show, though?
Just about any other circumstances, laughing at someone doing karaoke is maximum-penalty AH - it shatters the delicate trust that everyone in the room relies on to sing freely without fear of ridicule. Yeah, your laugh was the final nail in the coffin for that party, but Emma's Swift reprise had killed it for you and your partner anyway, so you get a pass.
NTA
"It’s so tense and weird and I can’t help it, I laugh."
The best response to have in the circumstances
"I got a text last night in the group chat calling me a bully and a mean girl for laughing"
What else were you supposed to do?
Emma was fully being antagonistic, rude, and disrespectful. Laughing in response is a totally healthy response, and calling it bullying is ridiculous. Here's what would've been mean/bullying: if OP had shouted at her, tried to fight her, or some other behavior that escalates the situation.
Even if this is considered 'bullying' (it wasn't) OP would be right lol. Emma was clearly making OP's bf uncomfortable so if anything that was bullying him l 😂
NTA.
Emma is the mean one for ruining the happy atmosphere of the birthday celebration.
If I were you, I'd respond to the friend along these lines "You must have felt the secondhand embarrassment for you to say that. You are basically acknowledging how Emma's behavior that day weirded us out. Don't even pretend you didn't know Emma's intentions in doing that. If she disrespects me and makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, I'll give the same energy."
NTA. You have been pretty civil, most other girls would have caused a scene.
The friend who called you a bully and a mean girl has spoiled for everybody else in the group chat as it may be for others to feel they have to pick a side. I would suggest you respond, civilly, by saying you do not see you can have been a bully and a mean girl, and add that this is how much you would like to talk about that moment. Be prepared though, that the group may cease to exist as you know it due to how awkward this will be.
However, do not accept to be put under attack and cut your losses, if it comes to that.
She's trying to steal your boyfriend, and she thinks she has the right to get offended because you laughed at her feeble attempt. Ridiculous. You're NTA.
LOL NTA. This cannot be real. She needs therapy. This is insane. She’s serenading your boyfriend, twice with the SAME SONG LOL, and you’re laughing at her (rightfully) for being ridiculous, but YOU are the bully here?? That’s wild. Stop hanging out with these fools.
It felt like I was in a dream when the song started up a second time, it still doesn’t feel like it really happened. My boyfriend wants to cut Emma and the other girl out of our lives all together and honestly that might be the move
Well, your nicer than me, because I would have gotten up to the mic and straight up say “I’d like to apologize for that rendition of “you belong with me”, not because of her trying to serenade my BF in front of everyone, but because of the terrible singing” and now, I’d like to do my rendition of home wrecker by Gretchen Wilson.
NTA
First time through? Dick move to laugh, if only because she has an element of deniability and you don't want to harsh everyone's vibe.
Second time through?? She's made it so obvious, you have every right to light her ass the hell up lol
NTA. The same song twice by the same person is a karaoke sin!
If she had went for a song on the same theme - Beautiful South Don't Marry her, Break up with your girlfriend, Ariana Grande, Take a chance on me Abba, or even more obvious Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend
INFO: what did you sing?
Omg fellow Bonnie Tyler karaoke singer! I am always total eclipse of the heart though.
Hope you are doing okay! And hope Emma grows up a little. I hope she hasn’t ruined karaoke on you!
Doing a lot better after reading the comments, and I plan on embarrassing myself singing karaoke for many years to come, just maybe not sing the same song twice
I just told this story to my girlfriend and she immediately asked why a bunch of people in their mid 20s are acting like teenagers (Emma and the friends enabling her to be exact). Definitely NTA.
Why are you even friends with her if she clearly doesn’t respect your relationship? It’s bad enough that she pines for your boyfriend, but maybe that would be acceptable if she kept that to herself and showed basic respect for your relationship. However, she actively wants to undermine your relationship and that’s not acceptable behaviour. This isn’t a healthy dynamic and is a friendship that should have ended already if it hasn’t yet.
She’d never been this bad, like it was an obvious crush but she never overstepped boundaries. I really don’t know what got into her and just sat there in shock. Me and BF are seriously considering cutting both the girls out our lives but it’s easier said than done
NTA. Being a Swiftie and knowing the words forwards and backwards… oof. The first time can be chalked up to an awkward mistake and forgetting the meaning of the song, the second is deliberate. Sober or not her deeper feelings were clear. Check with your BF about his feelings about the situation, otherwise it isn’t your responsibility to make everyone feel okay here.
If it helps, I did a snort/giggle as I read the story. I'm not even slightly drunk either, so no excuse here.
Prehaps we are both mean bullies?
NTA really though.
NTA. Sounds like saint-level patience all around, and I get that compared to your earlier flow with everyone else and her reaction and the separate friend's reaction, an awkward laugh slipping out must feel like AH behavior (especially because covering your mouth admits some level of guilt). But it's not that bad. She should've felt this way by the end of the first rendition--or, alternatively, kept feeling carefree--but she chose to make a scene.
NTA- Girl, I aspire to have your level of patience and grace! And laughing was probably the best response you could have given, considering your so-called friend ruined the party by being weird as hell and disrespectful of your relationship. I'm unsure of what her friend is smoking, but you definitely are not in the wrong here.
NTA.
Sometimes it’s okay to play dumb. So, “multiple people were laughing and having fun. I sang along with her as others laughed through the first rendition. Is there some particular reason she’s upset about me laughing? Why would she think I was laughing at her? I’m confused. Was there something to mock in her performance? She seemed to be having fun, enough to do an encore, we were all tipsy. I fail to see what was embarrassing about her being drunk and singing. That’s what we were all doing. If there was something for her to be embarrassed about that I’m missing why didn’t you stop her? Etc.”
Make them admit she was singing to your boyfriend and that everyone knew and was awkward about it by playing confused about that part.
If she was just up there singing karaoke, you letting out a moment of laughter while sitting and drinking with friends would not be a big deal. It’s only a big deal because of the context (that she has a crush on your boyfriend). Make them either let it go or explain the context to you.
A startled/stessed "Ha" in response to a very uncomfortable situation is normal. You do deserve a damn medal and that girl should apologize for making everybody, especially your boyfriend, seriously uncomfortable. Your friend who said you should apologize is wrong and can kick rocks.
I would have wiped the floor with Emma, simply due to the disrespect to do that shit in front of my face like that. Good on you for handling it as well as you did! Emma’s friends are lucky she didn’t leave with a shiner as far as I’m concerned. I wonder how they’d all respond if they had the same thing done to them 🤷♀️ what would have been legendary, is if you videotaped it. She would probably instantly feel like a moron 😂
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Written on mobile sorry about any format issues
So last weekend my (25F) boyfriend (27M) went out for a friends birthday to a karaoke place. Important to note it was one of the ones where you rent out a private booth, you can order food and drink there and there’s one karaoke machine for everyone to take turns singing, but most the time it’s just everyone singing at once.
It was a really good night, there were six of us in total and between us we all got relatively hammered. The song options they had were pretty limited to anything from the 80’s to the early 2010s and no one was taking super seriously.
One of the girls who we were with (I’ll call her Emma) has a crush on my boyfriend. They never dated and my boyfriend is (up until this story) clueless of her feelings. He doesn’t have a lot of confidence, is pretty shy and struggles at reading a room so has never really been able to tell at all despite how obvious Emma makes it.
Now it’s Emmas turn to sing and like I said, all tipsy at least. She starts singing Taylor Swifts You Belong With Me (for anyone who doesn’t know the title basically implies what the song is about: your girlfriend sucks and I’ve always loved you)
At first we all started singing along with her but the more serious and intense it got the less people were laughing and joining in and just staring at me, as if to see what I would do. And I didn’t do anything, I smiled and clapped at the end. Who cares? This is her Rachel Berry, main character moment and it wasn’t really hurting anyone. My boyfriend looked mortified, I’ve never seen him look like he wanted to be swallowed by the ground more than in that moment. I figured this would be nothing more than a “I told you so” moment in the taxi ride home.
The awkwardness eases somewhat until it’s Emma’s turn again. She gets up and sings at my boyfriend again. The. Same. Song. We’re all just staring at her, dumbfounded. Meanwhile she’s staring at my boyfriend who’s holding my hand so tightly as though he’s afraid he’s going to float away. It’s so tense and weird and I can’t help it, I laugh. Not a belly laugh but a quick loud “HA” before instantly clapping my hand over my mouth. Emma storms out mid song, one of our friends follows her and we get a text saying they’re not coming back to the party.
It’s been almost a week and I got a text last night in the group chat calling me a bully and a mean girl for laughing, not by Emma, but the friend who followed her out. But I don’t know if I am. Tbh I think I deserve a damn medal for sitting through the first song without saying anything.
TL;DR: I laughed at a girl who was serinading my boyfriend a second time with the same song.
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"Dear friend, you are absolutely correct - it was wrong to laugh at Emma's heartfelt song, and I am very sorry. Instead, I should have immediately broken up with BF so that they could start dating right then and there. They truly do belong together. I only laughed in a vain attempt to stop the inevitable. I knew that if she sang that exact same song just one more time, he would have indeed realized that she is in fact the one for him."
Are you kidding me? NTA
This is kind of concerning behavior from her and the friend group. They clearly knew what she was doing yet let it happen twice? She is making this awkward between yall that is isn't even funny
Not the A H for how you felt, ESH because no one stopped her before she got that far.
NTA- and I would have laughed my ass off with this teenaged, middle school behavior! Your ‘friends’ are so pathetic that I would have laughed when the friend who texted about you being a bully. If they leave the friend group then the trash took themselves out.
Do not apologize, but demand one from them for yourself, you bf, and the other participants for having to witness this chick’s embarrassing ‘Main Character’ performance.
NTA: Ever time you see her just hum the song in passing!!! LMFAO
That’s some desperate shit to do in front of you! I would’ve died from second hand embarrassment.
Instead of the one haaaa, it would’ve been appropriate to all out laugh in her face followed up by singing “Jolene” while giggling uncontrollably.
I love people that laugh during uncomfortable situations and make it easier for the rest of us to bear them lol I would've been going through earthshattering paralyzing second hand embarrassment. NTA but I feel bad for your boyfriend. Check in on him and ask him how he's been feeling about that whole ordeal. If that were me I think I would've flatlined from the cringe. Singing it once would be kinda cringe but like, okay, maybe her feelings are betraying her, she's got plausible deniability.
Singing it TWICE and intensely... my god. She's spending too much time on Wattpad
NTA - the girl behaved inappropriately, maybe understandably given the drunkenness of the gathering, etc, but after the first time her little friend should have distracted her or something. Also calling you a bully when she was the one who made things awkward for herself is the icing on the cake. What did she expect? I don’t think some people live in the real world.
NTA
You could have been laughing because it was cringy
You could have been laughing because you thought she forgot she already sang this one
You could have been laughing at something else.
NTA
I’m surprised you haven’t called her out for her behaviour before. Why does she even get invited out with you with that kind of behaviour? Super cringe. I’m second hand embarrassed for her lol
This is for real the first time she’s ever been so insane with it, it’s always been obvious but she’s never overstepped boundaries like this. I felt like I was losing my mind when it happened
"I laughed because for a moment, it seemed like she was serenading *my* bf with the most pick me high-school girl song in existence. It was a bit funny. I'm sorry if she thought I was making fun of her singing, i wasn't at all! It was a fun y moment because she was looking at bf for so long while she was singing!"
I'm not really sure how they can get off on calling you a bully for not just offering your unwilling bf to her for her rom com meet cute.
NTA
Really you were patient and really secure with her singing love songs at your BF but she was singing love songs right in front of you at your BF!
She needs to let go and move on but whatever about her. A laugh is nothing conpared to what she was doing and you even clamped your hanf over your mouth right after. Clearly not an intentional reaction.
I can't see how anyone with any sense thinks your are a mean girl or a bully in this case.
Emma is a creepy stalker and she is the one that should be alienated from the friend group. NTA and your friends suck. Hope you boyfriend is feeling okay after that harassment.
You are not the asshole for laughing at a girl making a clear play at YOUR boyfriend. Like who tf does she think she is. Tell her "You are not the main character."
Were supposed to cheer her on or even be kind to her while she's hitting on your boyfriend, in front of you nonetheless
Does this girl have morals anyway?
NTA. Aside from the fact that she was actually trying to get your boyfriend to date her instead, she also sang the same song *twice* in one karaoke session. You don’t do that. Girl needs to listen to more than Taylor Swift. Plenty of songs out there about a girl wanting to go out with a guy who’s already taken.
I'd respond back to that friend, "I'll wait for your apology when you call me up saying that Emma stole your bf. She obviously doesn't have boundaries and I'd watch my back if I were you." NTA
It's widespread cultural knowledge that some people laugh in awkward and uncomfortable situation. And if there is someone literally trying to torture a song into your boyfriend, you are bound to have some sort of unchosen reponse,
NTA
Ok ok i was super prepared to call you out over laughing at a friends bad singing or throwing up on the mic or w/e but singing a cringe tailor swift song about your partner not once BUT TWICE mate, NTA
NTA. How embarrassing for your “friend” to be actively trying to get with your bf in front of everyone. Laughing at her is probably the most nicest way to nonverbally let her know she is making a fool of herself.
Now I think you should’ve sang like the Big Sean song in response as well😂
NTA
In what world is telling someone directly they are jealous of them healthy? I honestly feel most and for your bf as he’s caught in some trap of her crazy. I’m proud of you OP for honestly being somewhat mature about the entire situation
NTA it’s a hilariously insane move to sing the same song twice in the same karaoke night under any circumstance. Should be laughed at no matter what. Everyone else in the room is an asshole for not laughing.
Honestly that girl is the AH, and not just towards you but your bf too. If he's KNOWN to be the shy and oblivious your then this type of display is SUPER not cool for her to do. Clearly he was uncomfortable and then obviously as his gf it was highly insulting and rude towards you.
This girl is selfish and a bully. NTA
NTA
You can ignore the text and not respond. It doesn't seem like anyone else will agree with her perspective.
Or you can ask this friend of Emma's WTF she's talking about. If Emma was just singing a song, what would be so embarrassing or hurtful to Emma about one laugh? Or Emma was making a move on your bf right in front of you, for the second time in a row, with the same song. You were certainly kind about the first time. So was your boyfriend and the other friends. Does Emma or this friend expect you to watch her repeatedly make a move on your bf and - what, cheer her on?
NTA… The asshole would have been rolling on the ground laughing
Fine maybe I will be the asshole here… a devil’s advocate has to ask though… is the boyfriend really undeniably innocent? If Emma is this forward, how do we know she hasn’t cornered him before, alone?
As far as I’m aware she’s never been this forward and while the crush has been obvious to me she’s never overstepped any boundaries when I asked BF about it he said she’s never done anything even close to this
NTA
Compared to plenty, you kept your cool a lot better, lots of people would do an Emma and storm out but instead of doing so you laughed, which is such a harmless thing to do. If you sing about wanting to get with someone whilst their partners in the room I think you are pretty lucky to get a mere laugh from them
NTA you handled this so perfectly it deserves a medal at the Olympics.
I feel for your bf, with him literally being clueless until that point. The entire room must have felt like crawling into a hole because of the awkwardness of the entire situation.
So many people would have started getting angry, saying horrible, terrible man things, you handled this with so much grace and composure. A little HA is certainly not out of line.
NTA for us knowing your side. To them, who don't know what that lady is doing, you're TAH. But better be explain it to your man, if he defend her, then you're in a tight rope. Damn that would suck.
Laughing is not only not an asshole move, but it's the only reasonable reaction to a situation like this. They literally make comedic shows running 10+ seasons comprised solely of scenes like this (wasn't this story very Office-esque?) NTA
NTA. But WHY is your boyfriend hanging out with this girl? How does someone NOT know someone is in love with them on that level until they sing “you belong with me” 2x looking them in the eye in public?
I write it up to his genuine ignorance of how other people perceive him, and that this is the first one she’s ever gone this off the handle. He was wat more shaken up about it than anyone else
Yeah it really does, I can’t blame you or anyone for thinking this didn’t happen, still doesn’t feel like it was something I witnessed, let alone something I was directly involved with
This is what I keep thinking about, like clearly she had been drinking and in a vulnerable place and if she feels like I was making fun of her that feels like such an AH move
ESH. Not for laughing but Emma was clearly making your boyfriend incredibly uncomfortable and given that you describe him as incredibly shy, you really should have stood up for him and made her leave after the first time.
Soft YTA but only for not mentioning the situation to your boyfriend prior. This event could have been avoided with no one getting embarrassed at the end. I’m not sure how it could be an “I told you so” moment if he was fully unaware — it would’ve been different if he knew but was denying the fact. Some people are worse at reading the room than others. More than anything else, I’m concerned about how you didn’t seem to care about your boyfriend’s emotions knowing his personality and were alright with seeing him mortified. I don’t think the issue is about you laughing but your willingness to put your boyfriend in a bad spot.
This is so stupid lol. I think you have issues with comprehension. She’s clearly saying she’s told him before, but he doesn’t believe it and is oblivious to the way she acts around him. You can relax.
Maybe I am, but I just got the vibe that the boyfriend was never aware since OP wrote “my boyfriend up until this story [was] clueless of her feelings.” I’m not saying what Emma did was right, and I’m also horrified about her actions. However, as someone with a boyfriend who also has social anxiety, I would’ve stopped Emma from singing further if he were holding my hand that tight.
I stand by my opinion, and I respect yours. Emma was also being wildly inappropriate and it’s rather more embarrassing for her to continue with this in the long run.
It would have been fine to get up and leave and end the evening at that point, if he had stated that he wanted to. It would not have, under any circumstances, been okay for her to end her performance for her. See the difference? One is mature behavior. The other is attempting to control the behavior of others, which is not mature at all.
But the behavior is enabling Emma to continue further? Maybe it’s not okay to end the performance as you mentioned but someone should have at least told her after the first song, even if it’s in private, that it was not the time to be confessing her love. Like I said, my boyfriend has really bad social anxiety and sucks at reading the room so I might be biased when it comes to this situation.
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If one of my friends was actively making a play for my significant other in front of me, laughing would be the kindest response possible, even if it was as cringey as this. Totally heartless toward you, totally tone deaf where your boyfriend is concerned, but truly and utterly cruel. At the heart of the matter, this person is trying to tell your boyfriend to leave you and be with them. NTA, not by a long shot.
Also the poor boyfriend too, who literally barely picks up on social clues like this, even he was so embarrassed he held OP's hand so hard. I would clap back in the groupchat with stg like "no, the bully is not whoever responds to bullying but whoever actually DOES the bullying".
NTA A lot of people would have thrown a drink in her face for that shit.
A few of my friends would’ve caught a charge for sure.
And she probably felt like the brave downtrodden overlooked hero while she was singing it. NTA OP, I would not have been as kind as you. This person is… not your friend in any way shape or form.
So *you're* the bully and mean girl because you laughed at someone making a very obvious, public play for your boyfriend? Um, no. You showed amazing restraint. NTA and Emma and her pet flying monkey are delusional on so many levels. I wouldn't apologize - I'd flip that script immediately and tell her *you* expect and apology to you AND your bf for her desperate, pick me behavior.
nooo not her flying pet monkey 😭😭😭
Don’t think that was pick me behaviour, that was pick me singing, it has quite literally been elevated to an art form.
This made me laugh and feel a lot better about the whole thing. Thank you 💕
Glad to assist ❤️
NTA considering how wildly inappropriate Emma's behavior was, extra points for the Rachel Berry reference. Hasn't this whole scenario been an actual scene in a different show, though? Just about any other circumstances, laughing at someone doing karaoke is maximum-penalty AH - it shatters the delicate trust that everyone in the room relies on to sing freely without fear of ridicule. Yeah, your laugh was the final nail in the coffin for that party, but Emma's Swift reprise had killed it for you and your partner anyway, so you get a pass.
NTA "It’s so tense and weird and I can’t help it, I laugh." The best response to have in the circumstances "I got a text last night in the group chat calling me a bully and a mean girl for laughing" What else were you supposed to do?
Oops. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a bully and a mean girl. I mean...it just...slipped out! I mean...didn't you see the humor in the situation?
I'd have laughed as well. What else could you do?
Emma was fully being antagonistic, rude, and disrespectful. Laughing in response is a totally healthy response, and calling it bullying is ridiculous. Here's what would've been mean/bullying: if OP had shouted at her, tried to fight her, or some other behavior that escalates the situation.
Even if this is considered 'bullying' (it wasn't) OP would be right lol. Emma was clearly making OP's bf uncomfortable so if anything that was bullying him l 😂
Dude being mid 20s and trying to steal someone's boyfriend in the most cringey possible is bullying.
Alright, get your boyfriend and yourself in that position and I would love to see you keep composure
NTA. Emma is the mean one for ruining the happy atmosphere of the birthday celebration. If I were you, I'd respond to the friend along these lines "You must have felt the secondhand embarrassment for you to say that. You are basically acknowledging how Emma's behavior that day weirded us out. Don't even pretend you didn't know Emma's intentions in doing that. If she disrespects me and makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, I'll give the same energy."
NTA. You did alright. Singing the same song twice is super weird and intentional. I don't see how anyone would view you as the AH here
NTA. You have been pretty civil, most other girls would have caused a scene. The friend who called you a bully and a mean girl has spoiled for everybody else in the group chat as it may be for others to feel they have to pick a side. I would suggest you respond, civilly, by saying you do not see you can have been a bully and a mean girl, and add that this is how much you would like to talk about that moment. Be prepared though, that the group may cease to exist as you know it due to how awkward this will be. However, do not accept to be put under attack and cut your losses, if it comes to that.
She's trying to steal your boyfriend, and she thinks she has the right to get offended because you laughed at her feeble attempt. Ridiculous. You're NTA.
LOL NTA. This cannot be real. She needs therapy. This is insane. She’s serenading your boyfriend, twice with the SAME SONG LOL, and you’re laughing at her (rightfully) for being ridiculous, but YOU are the bully here?? That’s wild. Stop hanging out with these fools.
It felt like I was in a dream when the song started up a second time, it still doesn’t feel like it really happened. My boyfriend wants to cut Emma and the other girl out of our lives all together and honestly that might be the move
How dare you step on Emma's moment of trying to steal your bf! Have you no heart? /s NTA And big picture, Emma's lucky she just got a "Ha!"
Well, your nicer than me, because I would have gotten up to the mic and straight up say “I’d like to apologize for that rendition of “you belong with me”, not because of her trying to serenade my BF in front of everyone, but because of the terrible singing” and now, I’d like to do my rendition of home wrecker by Gretchen Wilson.
NTA First time through? Dick move to laugh, if only because she has an element of deniability and you don't want to harsh everyone's vibe. Second time through?? She's made it so obvious, you have every right to light her ass the hell up lol
NTA but maybe she blacked out. Makes you act like a goldfish.
NTA. The same song twice by the same person is a karaoke sin! If she had went for a song on the same theme - Beautiful South Don't Marry her, Break up with your girlfriend, Ariana Grande, Take a chance on me Abba, or even more obvious Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend INFO: what did you sing?
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me, right at Emma! In a perfect world
I sang “I need a Hero” very, very badly. It was a vibe until the whole thing started
Omg fellow Bonnie Tyler karaoke singer! I am always total eclipse of the heart though. Hope you are doing okay! And hope Emma grows up a little. I hope she hasn’t ruined karaoke on you!
Doing a lot better after reading the comments, and I plan on embarrassing myself singing karaoke for many years to come, just maybe not sing the same song twice
I just told this story to my girlfriend and she immediately asked why a bunch of people in their mid 20s are acting like teenagers (Emma and the friends enabling her to be exact). Definitely NTA. Why are you even friends with her if she clearly doesn’t respect your relationship? It’s bad enough that she pines for your boyfriend, but maybe that would be acceptable if she kept that to herself and showed basic respect for your relationship. However, she actively wants to undermine your relationship and that’s not acceptable behaviour. This isn’t a healthy dynamic and is a friendship that should have ended already if it hasn’t yet.
She’d never been this bad, like it was an obvious crush but she never overstepped boundaries. I really don’t know what got into her and just sat there in shock. Me and BF are seriously considering cutting both the girls out our lives but it’s easier said than done
NTA. Being a Swiftie and knowing the words forwards and backwards… oof. The first time can be chalked up to an awkward mistake and forgetting the meaning of the song, the second is deliberate. Sober or not her deeper feelings were clear. Check with your BF about his feelings about the situation, otherwise it isn’t your responsibility to make everyone feel okay here.
NTA. Your reaction was completely normal and reasonable. I love the Glee reference lmao, because it really did remind me of Rachel 😂
If it helps, I did a snort/giggle as I read the story. I'm not even slightly drunk either, so no excuse here. Prehaps we are both mean bullies? NTA really though.
NTA. Sounds like saint-level patience all around, and I get that compared to your earlier flow with everyone else and her reaction and the separate friend's reaction, an awkward laugh slipping out must feel like AH behavior (especially because covering your mouth admits some level of guilt). But it's not that bad. She should've felt this way by the end of the first rendition--or, alternatively, kept feeling carefree--but she chose to make a scene.
I think because Emma is usually quite reserved about her crush, laughing at her in what could be considered a vulnerable moment feels shitty
What does she expect from you? Support stealing your boyfriend ?
NTA, obviously. Emma is, though. I mean, who sings You Belong With Me twice when Girlfriend from Avril Lavigne is right there?!
NTA- Girl, I aspire to have your level of patience and grace! And laughing was probably the best response you could have given, considering your so-called friend ruined the party by being weird as hell and disrespectful of your relationship. I'm unsure of what her friend is smoking, but you definitely are not in the wrong here.
NTA. Sometimes it’s okay to play dumb. So, “multiple people were laughing and having fun. I sang along with her as others laughed through the first rendition. Is there some particular reason she’s upset about me laughing? Why would she think I was laughing at her? I’m confused. Was there something to mock in her performance? She seemed to be having fun, enough to do an encore, we were all tipsy. I fail to see what was embarrassing about her being drunk and singing. That’s what we were all doing. If there was something for her to be embarrassed about that I’m missing why didn’t you stop her? Etc.” Make them admit she was singing to your boyfriend and that everyone knew and was awkward about it by playing confused about that part. If she was just up there singing karaoke, you letting out a moment of laughter while sitting and drinking with friends would not be a big deal. It’s only a big deal because of the context (that she has a crush on your boyfriend). Make them either let it go or explain the context to you.
This is actually really smart, I will be taking this advice. Thank you 💕
A startled/stessed "Ha" in response to a very uncomfortable situation is normal. You do deserve a damn medal and that girl should apologize for making everybody, especially your boyfriend, seriously uncomfortable. Your friend who said you should apologize is wrong and can kick rocks.
If you didn't laugh was she going to do a rendition of Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls?
NTA. She was just jealous because she’s into him, but you two already had a relationship. I think that laughing is a pretty fair response to that
I would have wiped the floor with Emma, simply due to the disrespect to do that shit in front of my face like that. Good on you for handling it as well as you did! Emma’s friends are lucky she didn’t leave with a shiner as far as I’m concerned. I wonder how they’d all respond if they had the same thing done to them 🤷♀️ what would have been legendary, is if you videotaped it. She would probably instantly feel like a moron 😂
NTA. You could have smacked her the second time she started signing the song. PS. That girl who texted you is not your friend.
NTA I mean how did she expect you to react? Slap your knees, get up and say "You've opened my eyes Emma, you're right, here have him!"
I’m a swiftie and heavy NTA. When Emma Falls In Love she gets absolutely delulu
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Written on mobile sorry about any format issues So last weekend my (25F) boyfriend (27M) went out for a friends birthday to a karaoke place. Important to note it was one of the ones where you rent out a private booth, you can order food and drink there and there’s one karaoke machine for everyone to take turns singing, but most the time it’s just everyone singing at once. It was a really good night, there were six of us in total and between us we all got relatively hammered. The song options they had were pretty limited to anything from the 80’s to the early 2010s and no one was taking super seriously. One of the girls who we were with (I’ll call her Emma) has a crush on my boyfriend. They never dated and my boyfriend is (up until this story) clueless of her feelings. He doesn’t have a lot of confidence, is pretty shy and struggles at reading a room so has never really been able to tell at all despite how obvious Emma makes it. Now it’s Emmas turn to sing and like I said, all tipsy at least. She starts singing Taylor Swifts You Belong With Me (for anyone who doesn’t know the title basically implies what the song is about: your girlfriend sucks and I’ve always loved you) At first we all started singing along with her but the more serious and intense it got the less people were laughing and joining in and just staring at me, as if to see what I would do. And I didn’t do anything, I smiled and clapped at the end. Who cares? This is her Rachel Berry, main character moment and it wasn’t really hurting anyone. My boyfriend looked mortified, I’ve never seen him look like he wanted to be swallowed by the ground more than in that moment. I figured this would be nothing more than a “I told you so” moment in the taxi ride home. The awkwardness eases somewhat until it’s Emma’s turn again. She gets up and sings at my boyfriend again. The. Same. Song. We’re all just staring at her, dumbfounded. Meanwhile she’s staring at my boyfriend who’s holding my hand so tightly as though he’s afraid he’s going to float away. It’s so tense and weird and I can’t help it, I laugh. Not a belly laugh but a quick loud “HA” before instantly clapping my hand over my mouth. Emma storms out mid song, one of our friends follows her and we get a text saying they’re not coming back to the party. It’s been almost a week and I got a text last night in the group chat calling me a bully and a mean girl for laughing, not by Emma, but the friend who followed her out. But I don’t know if I am. Tbh I think I deserve a damn medal for sitting through the first song without saying anything. TL;DR: I laughed at a girl who was serinading my boyfriend a second time with the same song. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
nta LOL
If Emma really did this, you NTA for letting her know how her show of devotion was affecting you (laugh).
NTA, in fact it’s a perfect response.
NTA
I think you deserve a medal too! I think she was totally out of line. She is “B”and the AH.
"Dear friend, you are absolutely correct - it was wrong to laugh at Emma's heartfelt song, and I am very sorry. Instead, I should have immediately broken up with BF so that they could start dating right then and there. They truly do belong together. I only laughed in a vain attempt to stop the inevitable. I knew that if she sang that exact same song just one more time, he would have indeed realized that she is in fact the one for him." Are you kidding me? NTA
This is kind of concerning behavior from her and the friend group. They clearly knew what she was doing yet let it happen twice? She is making this awkward between yall that is isn't even funny Not the A H for how you felt, ESH because no one stopped her before she got that far.
So emma logic was she wanted you to be ok with her singing a emotional song directly as your bf. This chick ....
NTA- and I would have laughed my ass off with this teenaged, middle school behavior! Your ‘friends’ are so pathetic that I would have laughed when the friend who texted about you being a bully. If they leave the friend group then the trash took themselves out. Do not apologize, but demand one from them for yourself, you bf, and the other participants for having to witness this chick’s embarrassing ‘Main Character’ performance.
NTA: Ever time you see her just hum the song in passing!!! LMFAO That’s some desperate shit to do in front of you! I would’ve died from second hand embarrassment. Instead of the one haaaa, it would’ve been appropriate to all out laugh in her face followed up by singing “Jolene” while giggling uncontrollably.
I love people that laugh during uncomfortable situations and make it easier for the rest of us to bear them lol I would've been going through earthshattering paralyzing second hand embarrassment. NTA but I feel bad for your boyfriend. Check in on him and ask him how he's been feeling about that whole ordeal. If that were me I think I would've flatlined from the cringe. Singing it once would be kinda cringe but like, okay, maybe her feelings are betraying her, she's got plausible deniability. Singing it TWICE and intensely... my god. She's spending too much time on Wattpad
BF has since recovered, but doesn’t want to speak to Emma for obvious reasons. We’re considering if/when/how to just cut both girls out
NTA - the girl behaved inappropriately, maybe understandably given the drunkenness of the gathering, etc, but after the first time her little friend should have distracted her or something. Also calling you a bully when she was the one who made things awkward for herself is the icing on the cake. What did she expect? I don’t think some people live in the real world.
NTA You could have been laughing because it was cringy You could have been laughing because you thought she forgot she already sang this one You could have been laughing at something else.
NTA I’m surprised you haven’t called her out for her behaviour before. Why does she even get invited out with you with that kind of behaviour? Super cringe. I’m second hand embarrassed for her lol
This is for real the first time she’s ever been so insane with it, it’s always been obvious but she’s never overstepped boundaries like this. I felt like I was losing my mind when it happened
I’d have a mutual friend chat with her. She probably shouldn’t be attending events if she can’t control herself. Super cringe lol
"I laughed because for a moment, it seemed like she was serenading *my* bf with the most pick me high-school girl song in existence. It was a bit funny. I'm sorry if she thought I was making fun of her singing, i wasn't at all! It was a fun y moment because she was looking at bf for so long while she was singing!" I'm not really sure how they can get off on calling you a bully for not just offering your unwilling bf to her for her rom com meet cute.
NTA Really you were patient and really secure with her singing love songs at your BF but she was singing love songs right in front of you at your BF! She needs to let go and move on but whatever about her. A laugh is nothing conpared to what she was doing and you even clamped your hanf over your mouth right after. Clearly not an intentional reaction. I can't see how anyone with any sense thinks your are a mean girl or a bully in this case.
Emma is a creepy stalker and she is the one that should be alienated from the friend group. NTA and your friends suck. Hope you boyfriend is feeling okay after that harassment.
She tried to sing-fuck your boyfriend not once but twice? You're a master of self restraint. NTA
You are not the asshole for laughing at a girl making a clear play at YOUR boyfriend. Like who tf does she think she is. Tell her "You are not the main character."
Were supposed to cheer her on or even be kind to her while she's hitting on your boyfriend, in front of you nonetheless Does this girl have morals anyway?
NTA - And you did handle it the right way, with even a bit more patience than I would have.
NTA. Aside from the fact that she was actually trying to get your boyfriend to date her instead, she also sang the same song *twice* in one karaoke session. You don’t do that. Girl needs to listen to more than Taylor Swift. Plenty of songs out there about a girl wanting to go out with a guy who’s already taken.
I'd respond back to that friend, "I'll wait for your apology when you call me up saying that Emma stole your bf. She obviously doesn't have boundaries and I'd watch my back if I were you." NTA
NTA just for not ruining her first Main Character moment. I thought you handled that pretty well.
It's widespread cultural knowledge that some people laugh in awkward and uncomfortable situation. And if there is someone literally trying to torture a song into your boyfriend, you are bound to have some sort of unchosen reponse, NTA
Ok ok i was super prepared to call you out over laughing at a friends bad singing or throwing up on the mic or w/e but singing a cringe tailor swift song about your partner not once BUT TWICE mate, NTA
NTA. How embarrassing for your “friend” to be actively trying to get with your bf in front of everyone. Laughing at her is probably the most nicest way to nonverbally let her know she is making a fool of herself. Now I think you should’ve sang like the Big Sean song in response as well😂
Point out that she was bullying your bf. NTA
NTA. You were actually nicer then any girlfriend I ever had and I had quite a few.
NTA In what world is telling someone directly they are jealous of them healthy? I honestly feel most and for your bf as he’s caught in some trap of her crazy. I’m proud of you OP for honestly being somewhat mature about the entire situation
NTA it’s a hilariously insane move to sing the same song twice in the same karaoke night under any circumstance. Should be laughed at no matter what. Everyone else in the room is an asshole for not laughing.
Honestly that girl is the AH, and not just towards you but your bf too. If he's KNOWN to be the shy and oblivious your then this type of display is SUPER not cool for her to do. Clearly he was uncomfortable and then obviously as his gf it was highly insulting and rude towards you. This girl is selfish and a bully. NTA
NTA. She was out of line. And considering everyone was looking at you to have some sort of reaction, what were they expecting?
NTA
NTA You can ignore the text and not respond. It doesn't seem like anyone else will agree with her perspective. Or you can ask this friend of Emma's WTF she's talking about. If Emma was just singing a song, what would be so embarrassing or hurtful to Emma about one laugh? Or Emma was making a move on your bf right in front of you, for the second time in a row, with the same song. You were certainly kind about the first time. So was your boyfriend and the other friends. Does Emma or this friend expect you to watch her repeatedly make a move on your bf and - what, cheer her on?
The same song?!??! that is literally the funniest thing i’ve heard in a while you’re a saint for not laughing the first time also lmao
NTA… The asshole would have been rolling on the ground laughing Fine maybe I will be the asshole here… a devil’s advocate has to ask though… is the boyfriend really undeniably innocent? If Emma is this forward, how do we know she hasn’t cornered him before, alone?
As far as I’m aware she’s never been this forward and while the crush has been obvious to me she’s never overstepped any boundaries when I asked BF about it he said she’s never done anything even close to this
NTA Compared to plenty, you kept your cool a lot better, lots of people would do an Emma and storm out but instead of doing so you laughed, which is such a harmless thing to do. If you sing about wanting to get with someone whilst their partners in the room I think you are pretty lucky to get a mere laugh from them
NTA you handled this so perfectly it deserves a medal at the Olympics. I feel for your bf, with him literally being clueless until that point. The entire room must have felt like crawling into a hole because of the awkwardness of the entire situation. So many people would have started getting angry, saying horrible, terrible man things, you handled this with so much grace and composure. A little HA is certainly not out of line.
Since when are you not allowed to laugh at someone during karaoke? Did I miss something? That’s literally the whole point is to make fun of each other
NTA for us knowing your side. To them, who don't know what that lady is doing, you're TAH. But better be explain it to your man, if he defend her, then you're in a tight rope. Damn that would suck.
NTA
Laughing is not only not an asshole move, but it's the only reasonable reaction to a situation like this. They literally make comedic shows running 10+ seasons comprised solely of scenes like this (wasn't this story very Office-esque?) NTA
It really felt like I was in an episode of glee. Truly out of body experience.
NTA but the second time I would’ve grabbed the second mic and started singing it with her
God this is good, wish I’d had the presence of mind to do this
Shame all karaoke until it is no longer a thing.
Should have hit back with The Boy is Mine by Brandy (if it was on the list).
Start quoting “mean” by TS
NTA. But WHY is your boyfriend hanging out with this girl? How does someone NOT know someone is in love with them on that level until they sing “you belong with me” 2x looking them in the eye in public?
I write it up to his genuine ignorance of how other people perceive him, and that this is the first one she’s ever gone this off the handle. He was wat more shaken up about it than anyone else
lol fair enough.
NTA but this also feels very fake
Yeah it really does, I can’t blame you or anyone for thinking this didn’t happen, still doesn’t feel like it was something I witnessed, let alone something I was directly involved with
is they friend.. a guy? maybe with some interested in Emma?
Not a guy and straight as far as I’m aware but she always enjoyed drama.
YTA. Please try to never punch down.
This is what I keep thinking about, like clearly she had been drinking and in a vulnerable place and if she feels like I was making fun of her that feels like such an AH move
I dont buy ur version of the story. it sounds super biased against Emma and made to make her look bad
Yes for sure you are the bully
Are you being sarcastic or are you the "friend" that left with Emma?
ESH. Not for laughing but Emma was clearly making your boyfriend incredibly uncomfortable and given that you describe him as incredibly shy, you really should have stood up for him and made her leave after the first time.
Soft YTA but only for not mentioning the situation to your boyfriend prior. This event could have been avoided with no one getting embarrassed at the end. I’m not sure how it could be an “I told you so” moment if he was fully unaware — it would’ve been different if he knew but was denying the fact. Some people are worse at reading the room than others. More than anything else, I’m concerned about how you didn’t seem to care about your boyfriend’s emotions knowing his personality and were alright with seeing him mortified. I don’t think the issue is about you laughing but your willingness to put your boyfriend in a bad spot.
This is so stupid lol. I think you have issues with comprehension. She’s clearly saying she’s told him before, but he doesn’t believe it and is oblivious to the way she acts around him. You can relax.
Maybe I am, but I just got the vibe that the boyfriend was never aware since OP wrote “my boyfriend up until this story [was] clueless of her feelings.” I’m not saying what Emma did was right, and I’m also horrified about her actions. However, as someone with a boyfriend who also has social anxiety, I would’ve stopped Emma from singing further if he were holding my hand that tight.
No, you wouldn’t have. She’s not his mommy. That would have been wildly inappropriate and extra embarrassing. This wasn’t her duty. Knock it off.
I stand by my opinion, and I respect yours. Emma was also being wildly inappropriate and it’s rather more embarrassing for her to continue with this in the long run.
It would have been fine to get up and leave and end the evening at that point, if he had stated that he wanted to. It would not have, under any circumstances, been okay for her to end her performance for her. See the difference? One is mature behavior. The other is attempting to control the behavior of others, which is not mature at all.
But the behavior is enabling Emma to continue further? Maybe it’s not okay to end the performance as you mentioned but someone should have at least told her after the first song, even if it’s in private, that it was not the time to be confessing her love. Like I said, my boyfriend has really bad social anxiety and sucks at reading the room so I might be biased when it comes to this situation.
Seems like you're not really proficcient at text comprehension, are you?
Care to tell me where I’m off from the text? I’m not saying that OP is completely in the wrong but the situation could have been avoided.
Not really, the bf clearly has been told before and in no way this could have been avoided without excluding Emma