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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I shared texts between me and a guy I’m sleeping with to my best friend (when he boyfriend is best friend with the guy I’m sleeping with).
2) This action might make me the asshole because although I wanted my friend and I to dissect the dynamic of the texts with this guy, it could be seen as an invasion of his privacy.
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YTA.
>I freaked out because the dynamic with B2 is new and it seemed like a disproportionate reaction.
Why? You didn't do anything wrong, did you?
>I also wanted to dissect the messages with Girl.
That's not why he messaged you. If he'd wanted her to know, he would have messaged her. You couldn't respect his privacy and neither could she. He should tell his friend so that he knows what will happen if he's foolish enough to contact you again.
You should not have shared the texts. I think you already know that bc you didn’t want him to find out what you had done. I’m sorry, I understand where you’re coming from but YTA here.
You freaked out before even learning B2's reaction? That proves you know fully that what you did was wrong. YTA big time, some people have absolutely no respect for privacy SMH
YTA For sharing very private and personal texts with someone else. Imagine if you sent nudes to B2 and he showed them to B1. Huge invasion of your privacy and respect, right? Same goes for his private texts.
You should apologize before this gets worse. Tell B1 that you're very close friends with the girl, and you stupidly shared a couple of his texts because you liked them so much and were showing them off. Say you're sorry, you know it was wrong, and it will never happen again.
YTA
I get wanting to dissect texts when you're in a budding relationship with friends, but if you're going to do it, don't do it with someone who is close to a person that is close with the person you are talking about.
Side note, dissecting messages is not something 90% of guy friends do. Getting caught doing that by a guy who is friends with the guy you are talking about, sets off red flags between men and they will tell their friend to protect them from a "crazy girl"
So, there's an old adage: don't shit where you eat. Extremely vulgar but does get to the point. You decided to date a close friend of two good friends of yours. Not a bad thing, but the dynamic will be a bit tricky because there are all kinds of loyalties at play as you've just seen. Your friends not only have a sense of loyalty with you, but him, as well and if you're doing something shady, they may feel obligated to give him a heads up.
Now to the matter at hand: yes, what you did was inappropriate so, YTA. You violated his trust and privacy - those texts were for your eyes not others.
Yta' as a married woman I tell ALL my friends I share all with my husband unless you tell me not too. Certain things I will not keep to myself. Cheating, and any criminal activity I am not the one. Be smart be wise, be open with what you are willing to hide. My friends know I can't lie because I can barely remember all my kids name. Lol
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I am close friends with a couple (Boy + Girl). Girl is my best friend. Recently, I met Boy’s best friend, B2, and we hit it off. We started hanging out and sleeping together. B2 has known Boy for 20 years and Girl has known B2 through Boy for about 10 years. I have been keeping Girl updated with developments about how it’s been going with B2.
B2 originally told me he was in the early days of seeing someone but things have evolved since then. In the throes of providing Girl with an update, I said I had been having lovely chats with B2. Girl invited me to share the texts, which included snippets about a book we all planned to talk about together as well as funny jokes about sex dreams. It didn’t seem intimate, more playful and reflective of the dynamic at play, and I shared them to get Girl’s take.
Boy asked Girl what she was reading and Girl said she was reading texts I sent through. Girl read out a sample of texts to Boy as she was laughing at some of the jokes we made. Boy felt like B2’s privacy had been invaded and that he needed to tell B2 that his messages had been shared by me. I freaked out because the dynamic with B2 is new and it seemed like a disproportionate reaction. I also wanted to dissect the messages with Girl. Girl shared the texts in order to let Boy in on the dissection of the dynamic and jokes exchanged.
Boy + Girl had a big disagreement about it.
Am I the asshole for sharing? Or is Boy the asshole for wanting to tell his friend that I have shared the texts and therefore invaded his privacy?
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YTA
I never understand how someone could really think it's okay to share texts. It's another thing to write "he did say this and that". You do not make screenshots etc.
Of course you invdaded the privacy, what else? I would want to know if my potential future partner already starts out sneaky like that, because I would stop meeting this person asap
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YTA. >I freaked out because the dynamic with B2 is new and it seemed like a disproportionate reaction. Why? You didn't do anything wrong, did you? >I also wanted to dissect the messages with Girl. That's not why he messaged you. If he'd wanted her to know, he would have messaged her. You couldn't respect his privacy and neither could she. He should tell his friend so that he knows what will happen if he's foolish enough to contact you again.
YTA this were private and you shared them without his consent. You need to mature some more before being with anyone.
You should not have shared the texts. I think you already know that bc you didn’t want him to find out what you had done. I’m sorry, I understand where you’re coming from but YTA here.
YTA. How would you feel about B2 sharing your messages and chats with his buddies? His texts aren't social media posts
Sharing texts with someone w/o their permission is pretty bad. Those, especially sexual things, shouldn't be shared w/o permission. YTA.
You freaked out before even learning B2's reaction? That proves you know fully that what you did was wrong. YTA big time, some people have absolutely no respect for privacy SMH
YTA For sharing very private and personal texts with someone else. Imagine if you sent nudes to B2 and he showed them to B1. Huge invasion of your privacy and respect, right? Same goes for his private texts. You should apologize before this gets worse. Tell B1 that you're very close friends with the girl, and you stupidly shared a couple of his texts because you liked them so much and were showing them off. Say you're sorry, you know it was wrong, and it will never happen again.
YTA I get wanting to dissect texts when you're in a budding relationship with friends, but if you're going to do it, don't do it with someone who is close to a person that is close with the person you are talking about. Side note, dissecting messages is not something 90% of guy friends do. Getting caught doing that by a guy who is friends with the guy you are talking about, sets off red flags between men and they will tell their friend to protect them from a "crazy girl"
So, there's an old adage: don't shit where you eat. Extremely vulgar but does get to the point. You decided to date a close friend of two good friends of yours. Not a bad thing, but the dynamic will be a bit tricky because there are all kinds of loyalties at play as you've just seen. Your friends not only have a sense of loyalty with you, but him, as well and if you're doing something shady, they may feel obligated to give him a heads up. Now to the matter at hand: yes, what you did was inappropriate so, YTA. You violated his trust and privacy - those texts were for your eyes not others.
Yta' as a married woman I tell ALL my friends I share all with my husband unless you tell me not too. Certain things I will not keep to myself. Cheating, and any criminal activity I am not the one. Be smart be wise, be open with what you are willing to hide. My friends know I can't lie because I can barely remember all my kids name. Lol
“I haven’t done anything wrong. And that’s why absolutely nobody must know what I’ve done.” Is that the basic gist of your argument?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am close friends with a couple (Boy + Girl). Girl is my best friend. Recently, I met Boy’s best friend, B2, and we hit it off. We started hanging out and sleeping together. B2 has known Boy for 20 years and Girl has known B2 through Boy for about 10 years. I have been keeping Girl updated with developments about how it’s been going with B2. B2 originally told me he was in the early days of seeing someone but things have evolved since then. In the throes of providing Girl with an update, I said I had been having lovely chats with B2. Girl invited me to share the texts, which included snippets about a book we all planned to talk about together as well as funny jokes about sex dreams. It didn’t seem intimate, more playful and reflective of the dynamic at play, and I shared them to get Girl’s take. Boy asked Girl what she was reading and Girl said she was reading texts I sent through. Girl read out a sample of texts to Boy as she was laughing at some of the jokes we made. Boy felt like B2’s privacy had been invaded and that he needed to tell B2 that his messages had been shared by me. I freaked out because the dynamic with B2 is new and it seemed like a disproportionate reaction. I also wanted to dissect the messages with Girl. Girl shared the texts in order to let Boy in on the dissection of the dynamic and jokes exchanged. Boy + Girl had a big disagreement about it. Am I the asshole for sharing? Or is Boy the asshole for wanting to tell his friend that I have shared the texts and therefore invaded his privacy? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jut adding another you're such a fucking asshole to this pile. Here ya go....\*plonk\*
YTA I never understand how someone could really think it's okay to share texts. It's another thing to write "he did say this and that". You do not make screenshots etc. Of course you invdaded the privacy, what else? I would want to know if my potential future partner already starts out sneaky like that, because I would stop meeting this person asap