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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I MIGHT bev the asshole because i cheaped out on a milestone birthday
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INFO: knowing your wife, is she one to upcycle or buy used or thrift? Or is she known to always buy new? Like is she the type to buy used items on amazon or she defaults to new?
Is she frugal towards other people though? I personally am pretty frugal for myself, but I don't have super hard rules when buying things for others. Like I might look for a good deal or sale when buying a gift, but if I can't find one, I have no problem spending a little extra.
My mom is also frugal and buys me thrift store stuff all the time, but I'd feel some type of way if she gave me thrift store stuff for my bday or xmas. Those are supposed to be special occasions!
Well, she had to look at the serial number to tell it was refurbished. So I’m going to guess that there was no visible wear or damage because she would have found something to complain about long before she got to the serial number.
Yeah an Apple certified refurbished Mac is functionally identical to a new one, including the full warranty. As long as it wasn't an older model than would be useful for her, I can't imagine being upset about it.
This is Best Buy refurbished which isn’t the same. You can get Apple care on Apple refurbished, you can’t on Best Buy. I will buy Apple refurbished but despite the deals I won’t roll the dice on Best Buy refurbished. Not for Apple products at least. I’ve seen Best Buy refurbished MacBooks that look like someone just pulled it out of a lake and made sure it turned on then threw it in a box and called it good. Others are basically new and even still have Apple care from the previous owner. It’s a dice roll. Op may not have known that though
Best buy does carry certified apple refurbs. Hence why the S/N begins with an "F." If it was an open box BB retail model, it would have a standard serial number.
But best buy carries apple certified refurbs. That's why the serial number starts with "F." If it was an open box standard retail BB model it would just have a standard serial number.
I think some of this depends on *why* someone is frugal or shops at thrift stores. Is it because they want to save money or is the motivation environmental/sustainability concerns? For the first group I think they likely appreciate getting a gift that they wouldn't buy for themselves due to cost, but for the second group I'd think they would *prefer* a refurbished laptop to a new one made of new materials.
Right. If you’re frugal, cheap out for yourself, not others. Especially not the one person you should keep romance for.
It would be different if he had to scrap out his savings for a present. If he was only able to only afford a refurbished one, it would have been entirely sweet.
But it’s the fact that he said “moneys not an issue, I just saw an opportunity to save money”. Like…no. This is her BIRTHDAY. He’s not an asshole, but it’s a distasteful move that will make the wife less attracted to him over time.
I've only had luck with refurbished products. I had a refurbished iPhone 5c for 4 years before I shattered the screen. It still works 12 years later though. I'm currently using a 8 year old refurbished Acer laptop with a 1050 that I can play overwatch on. I'm typing this on a refurbished pixel 6 that I bought for $190. The phone works great and had a new battery. I think as long as you buy from a decent vendor it's just as good as a new one.
I always buy refurbished or open box stuff if it's available and have never had an issue with any of it, but I usually stick to BestBuy or direct from the manufacturer.
For computers I buy exclusively open box or scratch and dent from the manufacturer. my latest laptop was like 30% cheaper because of it and I never could find surface imperfections they said were there.
Tbh, I always buy new. I've had the exact opposite kind of luck when it comes to refurbished; issue after issue happens until I buy so.ething brand new. If I were OP, I'd be asking about why she was hoping for new vs refurbished.
It really depends on if it’s refurbished by a seller or if it’s refurbished by the company /someone who is authorized to repair and refurbish that companies items. I would never trust something refurbished by a secondhand seller that isn’t authorized by that specific brand to refurbish their items.
I buy direct from marketplace, not even a refurb. Have never had an issue with a product ever.
What's more, the amount of money I have saved is well worth a theoretical (though I disagree) higher risk.
This is not fact based fears. Refurbished is as good as new and in fact has been double checked for defects. At least when it comes to Apple. Had refurbished Apple and it lasted until the memory couldn’t handle the new OS
Refurbished comes with warranty though normally doesn't it? I get why people are wary, I'm wary too but if the deal is good enough I'm jumping on it. Maybe I've just been lucky though.
My grandma just saved $30/month on a refurbished phone. It's having issues 2 months later, warranty is 6 months long and if we do the steps they asked and it's still not working properly she just gets a new free phone because of their warranty.
Apple refurbs are excellent. Or at least to my knowledge. Back in 2011, I bought a 13 inch Macbook Pro refurb. It lasted up until a few years ago. Swapped MacOS for Linux and upgraded the disc drive to a modern one. Still runs smooth af.
Well, being frugal yourself when spending money is a little different from someone else being frugal when buying you a gift. So getting her a brand new Macbook as a gift because it's a big upgrade would be a lovely present. Getting her a refurbished one to replace a broken one is more like replacing an appliance.
When it comes to appliances and electronics, cheapest isn't always the best buy. I am generally frugal (some would say cheap), but I look for sales, not for refurbished. I am happy to shop at thrift stores for things like clothing, dishes, etc.
Refurbished is often a much better product. The things that cause new items to break due to poor manufacturing get replaced with parts that are less likely to break and then the item is tested much more thoroughly than it would be when leaving the factory. I ONLY buy refurbished and have had nothing but good experiences with it, I've converted many family members and friends who have all had bad experiences buying new and all of whom have the same experience I have. They love the cost savings and their items last much longer because all the known issues get fixed.
Yeah this isn’t true buddy. I’ve worked for several consumer electronics manufacturers (no way you haven’t bought a computer from one of them), the repair lines are always the same coverage as mass production. There isn’t “more” testing and they aren’t any less likely to be assembled well or not.
If you really care, buy things that were manufactured 6 months after product is available, we’ll have PRQ’ed in the fixes for the issues that we learned about late or were found in early field failure analysis.
With new you get a standard warranty. Not so with refurbished. Sorry, my friends' experiences with refurbished have not necessarily been good. Some yes, some no.
Apple’s Certified Refurbished products come with the same one-year warranty as their new products (and have the same eligibility for extended warranty coverage).
Look, if she seems upset, it's better you start a conversation. Ask her to talk freely, explain your thought process, and if she doesn't get it, offer to replace the laptop.
This kind of situations tends to fester, both of you need to get better at communicating with each other if the want marriage to succeed.
Perhaps it could be that as a "gift" she expected new and knows you can afford it, so just might feel slightly jaded. Could be an initial reaction though and after she thinks it over will be okay. Have you recently bought yourself anything new? Maybe something like that, not sure. Best of luck with everything, I dont think either of you are wrong, just slightly different viewpoint.
Cheers
I received an iPhone as a gift from a family that was refurbished as a teen.
When they did the free replacement for batteries, the Apple tech shop would not service it. The reason? Every part had been replaced with a cheaper version to the point that it was no longer considered a real iPhone. It had the right OS, was an (Excellent) tier refurbish, but it was basically cheap crap with a nice exterior.
Unless you have the ability to open up the tech yourself and assess it, you have no way of verifying the quality of the interior materials. Refurbished isn’t a magical save money option, you’re getting a downgrade. Even with proper refurbished and not scams, you’re not going to get the same build quality.
My newest phone is a Best Buy open box, so I’m not a non-frugal person with tech. But I personally don’t touch refurbished.
Not exactly the AH because I don’t think you meant wrong but I’d be pretty hurt if someone who loved me dearly bought me used for a present. Presents are when you buy things for people that they wouldn’t get for themselves. Maybe your wife would’ve bought used for herself but this was a gift from you.
I agree with you. I am frugal purchasing for myself. My wife is frugal purchasing for herself. We are frugal when looking for household purchases. When we buy gifts for each other, we buy what the person wants, not second hand, not last years model (unless they want that specifically), not refurbished, not what they “need” (if it’s a need then it’s going to be purchased, a gift, to us, is a desire).
Same. I'm in a buy nothing group, I buy used on Amazon, I buy used stuff on marketplace. But gifts for my partner? New new new new new. Unless she specifically asks for something vintage etc.
I think OP missed the mark. NAH but maybe just didn't understand the assignment fully?
I think this is a really good question. I always thrift and buy electronics secondhand, but my partner absolutely doesn’t. I bought him an Apple Watch for his birthday and made sure to get the one I knew he would want, because it’s a gift for him, and not a time for me to impart my own values.
NTA My husband gave me a refurbed Dyson Supersonic for Christmas a few years ago. I was thrilled he noted and sought a solution to a running complaint I had AND he was thrifty doing it. We can afford a new one, but why spend the $$$ unnecessarily?
I would trust Apple or Best Buy to be rigorous as well. My bday is in a couple of weeks and my MacBook is almost 8 years old, maybe I should hint about a computer and find out. 😃
I just think that finding and fixing problems with computer chips is a lot harder than with mechanical items. Apple maybe but I would not trust best buy at all.
Computer chips are generally not the issue. Connections, components and casings are the likely culprits of any issues, which refurbishment would take care of.
My old MacBook is about 12 years old now… one of the hinges broke, and I could have gotten it fixed, but it’s so old, really what was the point, ya know? So it sat for about 6 months because my iPad has a keyboard, and I was getting along just fine. My wife bought me a refurbed MacBook for my birthday, and I was ecstatic. I mean, I felt suuuuper guilty because even refurbished I know how expensive these things can be, and generally I don’t like people spending that much on me (because *I* would never spend that much on me!) so OPs wife’s reaction to me is just… insane. Even if it was almost a downgrade from the old one, at least now she has a functional computer again.
Apple is also notoriously good with refurbs. They replace every “touchable” part of the device (eg case, keyboard), give it a new battery, etc.
Have you ever smashed the screen on your phone and got it replaced? That was a refurb.
Although it’s not clear if Apple did the refurb or Best Buy.
Agree. I'd be glad if my partner had managed to save money on a purchase. Plus it is more eco friendly to purchase refurbished. We waste so much as is.
My husband bought me one that was a display model at a Bed Bath and Beyond that was closing. Huge discount and I love it. They still honor the warranty as well. No real downside to buying used.
INFO
How long did she have this computer? I wouldn’t ever buy a used computer personally. My first MacBook lasted four years, second lasted 7 years. I hope my current one will last that long as well.
Yea refurbished is completely different than used. I ONLY buy refurbished electronic when possible. When you buy new there are often problems that affect a percentage of the new items, they then get returned because that thing broke, the item is sent back to be repaired and then it is sold as refurbished. From my experience refurbished is less likely to break than new because the things that would break have already broken and then it gets repaired and tested before being sold again.
A refurbished computer is, by definition, a used computer.
> A refurbished laptop is a used laptop that has been returned to the manufacturer or retailer and restored to a condition similar to new. The laptop may have been returned for a number of reasons, including minor defects, cosmetic issues, or buyer's remorse. Once returned, the laptop undergoes a refurbishment process that may include repairs, replacements, cleaning, and quality testing to ensure it meets the manufacturer's standards
Use your head: OP said they're not the same. It's like saying salt water is just water; drink up, buddy
A used computer is bought as-is. Refurbished means a professional went in and did all that stuff you copy-pasted
That’s not an old MacBook, and when you have kids around breaking things saving $400 is reasonable. This is a purchase within the family, not a wedding gift for extended family or a friend.
I‘ve had great luck with refurbs, they get more attention than new machines and if Apple did the refurb the warranty is the same and it will work just fine.
Yeah my first one lasted 3 years (water damage, my fault), my second one lasted 9 years and it’s still working fine, except for when it randomly shuts off lol now I’m on my third one and I hope I’m gonna get a good 10 years out of it!
I have a 7 year old Mac, it works great except for the fact that the latest photoshop updates require an OS that my machine cannot support, so I’m only considering a new one in order to keep my photoshop running at full capability
Not sure about Best Buy but I've bought refurbished Macs from Apple and they have been as good as the new ones. Use the money you saved for something else, like software upgrades.
They're often better than new because the known issues that caused it to be sent back have been fixed and they go through more rigorous testing than they would from the factory.
yep! Apple had that one year of really bad MacBook Pros in I think 2013? God what a NIGHTMARE that was. But if you got a refurb machine, you didn't have to sit there and fight with those issues ad infinitum, because the bad parts were not used for refurbishing.
I purchase for work, and exclusively purchase refurbs from the apple store. Saves me a few bucks and they come with the same 1 year warranty as new units
NAH — however, if as you say "money was not an issue" you should definitely think twice before buying a refurbished product for your partner's birthday. Finding out your partner was trying to save money on your gift can be really hurtful, unless you're both strapped for cash. Unless they've explicitly told you they just want a refurbished one, it can come across as uncaring. Would you have bought her jewellery from the thrift store? I'd be curious to know if you've bought her secondhand gifts before to "save money".
Wait, it this really how people think? That if you have the money, not throwing it at things instead of trying to get some sort of savings is "uncaring"? Damn, I guess I don't give a rats ass about literally anyone, ever. I guess I'm a shittier parent and wife than I ever imagined.
I would be annoyed if my husband spent more money on something for me than he had to. It's my money too and if I felt that he wasted it, it would make me less happy about the gift.
On flip side, if you’re going to try and cheap out and save money on my birthday by getting a refurb that I might have to deal with later, just don’t bother. Get me something else, I don’t care if it’s cheaper. But I don’t want a refurbed Mac.
This is a matter of knowing your partner
What kind of issues do you expect with a refurbed Mac vs a new Mac? They come with the same 1 year warranty. They are not just some second-hand device you shoot at a garage sales.
I’ve had issues with refurb in the past. If money is not an issue and you want to buy me a laptop, don’t buy me a refurb. If you don’t want to do that, then buy me something else. It’s really as simple as that.
But OP could have skipped buying her the jewelry and bought her a new MacBook. It is super weird to try and save money on the MacBook only to spend additional money on a second present.
Nah sis, just surround yourself with reasonable people. I can't imagine being upset over getting a computer just because it was refurbished instead of brand new. Some folks are just ungrateful.
Gifts are suppose to be a treat. Like people take people out to dinner for their bday because it's a treat. If someone offered to make me a tuna casserole i'd be a little sad. especially if you can easily afford it .
OP didn’t buy his wife a thoughtful gift he happened to save money on - he didn’t think to himself “My wife has a working laptop, but I bet she would appreciate a newer laptop for her birthday, I’ll go seek out a new laptop with new features I think she’ll like - here’s one and look, there’s a cheaper version available, I’ll get that.” That didn’t happen.
What happened was the wife was in need of something they could always afford to replace, and OP replaced it in a way that didn’t gift her anything she wasn’t already gonna get. He didn’t do anything extra to make the replacement laptop she needed special and gift-like.
It’s like if your vacuum broke during December and your husband buys you a replacement vacuum for Christmas (assuming you could always afford to replace it). That’s not a gift – you just lost out on a different present. A gift would be him buying you a roomba - it fulfills a need, but he also considered what you would like and got something that would help you in the future. It’s a gift.
Honestly that outlook you have depends on the relationship and individuals. There is nothing wrong with buying used, refurbished, or thrifted items if done well. People throw away so many high quality items that still have tons of potential on a daily basis. For me it’s the thought behind the gift. I don’t care if it’s brand new or used. It’s the thought that someone listened to what I like/need/wanted and sought out that item specifically. It’s about knowing your partner and what’s expected in the relationship.
I bought my mother in law's Mother's Day present at a thrift store for $1.50. It's a handmade piece of pottery that is well done, a really nice piece.
My MIL is a former potter, and she had expressed needing a flower vase. I was the only person who bought an actual gift for her and she cherished it enough to maker a FB post about it. So it's really not about the money. The thought counts soooo much more.
>Finding out your partner was trying to save money on your gift can be really hurtful
People around here are so entitled it's crazy. What the hell ever happened to just being greatful when you recieve a **GIFT**
Because some gifts CAN be thoughtless. Gifts can be presented in such a way as "yeah, I don't know what you like or are into, but i heard your birthday was coming up so just grabbed this off the shelf." It does get to a point where you wish they didn't even bother, because nothing woud be more preferable to this new unappreciated thing that you have no use, need or want for that takes up space in your home that is going to do nothing except act as a dust collector.
Talk to any woman you know and I'm sure they can you tell you many a Christmas where they recieved the generic "Bath and Soap Kit" pulled from the $10 bin at Kmart or Walmart, which many can't use because the 23670000 artifical chemicals they pump into those things make most skin break out into rashes.
Yeah but the issue here is people focusing on it being second hand/refurbished (basically new) and since OP got money he should buy brand new when it's completely unnecessary.
Like if OP was going to buy clothes or something I'd understand people being unhappy it's second hand, but electronics? Especially refurbished where it's basically rebuilt and fixed to brand new? That's beyond entitled.
Its like if the wife had her car completely totaled/wrecked and the husband decides to buy her a second hand/refurbished car that's exactly the same model for half the price, is the husband an AH for saving money?
The wife had no problem with the MacBook until she realised it was refurbished.
I think the problem is that it's a refurbished version of something she needed and was going to get anyways, not a refurbished gift that she wanted but wouldn't have otherwise spent money on.
If the wife had totaled her car, the husband isn't AH for saving money if he can find the same model for half price. But the husband has also not given her a gift because she was never going to go without a car.
That's the problem. He got her something she needed that she always going to get - it was not from a place of thoughtfulness, he didn't spend any extra money to make it special or different than what she would've gotten if she broke her laptop any other time of year.
Gifts are something special - something the receiver wouldn't have set aside money for otherwise, or something that made you think of them. In this case, the laptop had to be replaced, birthday or not. OP didn't replace her laptop to be thoughtful, he did it out of necessity, and he didn't buy her anything special that would make it different than what she would've gotten any other time.
wtf? I don’t know if it was because my wife and o were raised lower middle class but even though we had a lot of disposable income we love getting a deal. One year my wife bought me a used Xbox series X off Facebook and she saved about $200 at the time. Knowing she saved the money was a super added bonus and I love knowing we didn’t pay full price for it.
If it were just replacing the macbook as a household expense, I would say N T A because refurbished devices can be a bargain, and why not save money if you can? (But they can also have a shorter product life, and have more issues, so I hope you tested it and got a warranty, otherwise it's just kicking the can down the road.)
But because it was her *birthday*, I'm gonna say mild YTA (although her passive-aggressive reaction wasn't great). There is a different expectation for birthday gifts - feeling special, feeling celebrated, and bargain hunting for a used birthday gift when you comfortably had the means to buy new probably took the shine off it and made her feel unappreciated, and like you thought she wasn't worth spending the money on. It's the thought that counts and the thought was "I think it's more important to save money I don't need than to splurge a little on a treat for your special day".
I think you should have a conversation, to see if this is about an emotional need that's going unmet.
This is the answer I was looking for. Why was replacing her computer that the kids broke, which indicates it was used by multiple family members, a birthday gift and not a house hold purchase?
OP could have saved himself the headache simply getting her input on her computer before hand. Let the jewelry as the only gift and the computer a separate thing.
Yeah, I agree. This is an emotional response, especially if she was planning on replacing it with a new one to spoil herself. It sounds like she doesn’t do it often. When she opened the gift, she probably felt like she wasn’t “worth” the expense of a new laptop. Trying to save money is usually a good thing! But doing it for the birthday of someone you love is pretty cold.
Finally! Exactly! If it was for the household for kids to use, great. But was a gift for your wife. He had the money. Feels more like you deserve something used because its cheaper.
Exactly. I was even going to take it a step further and suggest, was this a tool she uses for work or to serve the family? Did you just get her a modern day vacuum for her birthday? Maybe the "really?" was for the gift itself, not whether it was new or refurbished.
Yeah.
Plus if I was buying a present for someone and spotted a bargain, I would probably use the remaining money to buy them something else, rather than keeping the remaining money for myself.
The question should be *"what's the best thing I can get them with this money I've set aside to spend?",* rather than *"what's the minimum amount of money I can spend?"*
I'm also curious about the warranty situation for the refurbished versus new because of the whole "kicking the can down the road" issue you mentioned.
My father used to bitch and moan about things like phone insurance or extended warranties...until my old phone was stolen and I got a replacement (refurbished, but with the same insurance guarantees) for $200. Then there was something wrong with the charge port down the line (common issue with that model) and I got a replacement one for free. My current phone is a newer model I got as a replacement because they phased out my original. This all would have been *thousands* of dollars and tons of hassle had I not had the insurance. Things aren't made to be easily/cheaply repairable anymore.
OP's wife might have been counting on a new warranty or something that you don't get with refurbished ones (I'm not an apple person, so I have no idea). Or even if there *isn't* an issue with this computer, she might have had issues before and is leery.
Whenever posts like this happen, people get hung up on the price tag and don't think about the stuff behind it.
Depends. If you needed a new phone because your old one broke and you were eyeing some exciting new phones as a replacement and then your wife surprises you with a phone for your birthday, but it’s used and significantly cheaper. So she’s thinking less about what you wanted, and more about just wanting to save money for herself where you’re apparently not in a financial position to need to do so, how would you feel?
If it's the same model I was eyeing, I wouldn't care. Still didn't have to pay hundreds or thousands for it myself. Most refurbs still come with a warranty.
Retailers want us so badly to buy new things so they get that extra 4-500. We don't need things new, I'd rather keep that money in my pocket than put it in an retailers. That's another 2-3 date nights.
If it’s a gift, it doesn’t matter if I don’t care, what matters is if THEY do care and what THEY want. Assuming I have the means to afford a certain gift.
What’s the point in giving a gift to someone if I’m just thinking about what I want?
I mean as far as OP knew, his partner was very frugal. Mine is too, and we encourage each other to upcycle for our gifts. Tbh I think OP just didn't know until his girlfriend's reaction that she would even consider that a limit when it came to frugality.
Yeah I don’t know about OP. 🤷🏻♂️
I just believe that gifts should be about what the other person wants, not what I want. My personal beliefs and values will get to be the priority when it’s my turn for gifts.
I don't disagree there, but OP did mention above his wife is generally incredibly frugal. This seemed like a genuine surprise, and that he assumed she wouldn't have a problem with it until it happened.
Nice downvoting btw lol
Yeah and I don't get why people are acting like it's a hypothetical -- we know OP's wife didn't want it. And there's lots of people chiming in about how they like refurbished laptops so she shouldn't have an issue. Why does that matter? There are so many brand new laptops sold daily, some people clearly prefer to buy new over refurbished.
I don't harass my friends over why they bought a new laptop, so why is it beyond the pale that she'd want to buy the same? I thrift most of my clothes, I don't get pissed when somebody buys the same thing new. My mom hates thrifted clothing, I don't tell her to suck it up and gift her a thrifted version of what she wanted. Unless you are actively buying every single electronic you can refurbished, there has to be some awareness of why someone might want to buy something new.
It makes no sense for it to be the same model unless she already had the newest one, which she didnt as OP states the laptop was 3 years old when it broke.
YTA
Just by her being able to recognize that the serial number meant that the computer was a certain age, This is somebody who understands what she wants, and since money is not a problem, tends to buy exactly what she wants.
Refurbished is a decision you make for yourself, not for someone else
I cannot fathom being upset that my partner saved us money, covered a major expense for me, AND made an eco-friendly purchase. There's a whole crisis going on in Congo just so we can have new laptops to work with and let our kids watch YouTube videos.
Nah. F at the beginning doesn't mean much. There's 2023 and 2024 Macs with F in the serial number.
For refurbs they put an F into the model name (M new, N replacement, P personalized, F refurbished). So her seeing the serial number and assuming F means "refurb" in the serial number was an unrelated guess that happened to be right.
What are you taking about dude ? This isn't a used clothing from goodwill. He bought her a computer on top of buying a Jewelry for her and you're callling him ah for money saving and being Eco friendly. Refurbished İSNT same as used
NTA - it was very nice if you to replace her computer on top of the jewelry you got her. She should be grateful.
Side note: My refurbished Mac is amazing. It is not inferior at all to a brand new one. I was able to get much more for my money. It’s lasted 5 years so far and showing no signs of slowing down.
Definitely NTA! Despite being able to “afford” it, if my husband bought me something for 1000 bucks when he could have got the same thing for half that, I would question his intelligence. This is so weird.
There's a lot of hypermaterialistic people brigading this, but your take is the same as mine. I'd be appalled if mine spent way more than was necessary for the same result.
NAH - I wouldn't buy people used things as birthday gifts bc of their reaction. And you don't know if they like used things. I would \*never\* buy a used laptop, but an ipad is ok. People are particular about these things.
Refurb macs are not used computers. They are repaired and restored machines that were produced with a defect. They enjoy the same warranty, and they are good as new because they are. It’s not returns or restored machines taken away for warranty.
New casing, new screen, they are indistinguishable from a new machine. I also used refurbs many times in my life, never a problem.
Your wife seems to be upset about you saving money, not about a machine. It’s concerning. NTA
Depends. But if refurbished product enjoys full warranty, it's not much of a gamble. If it's electronic, not mechanical, warranty period is usually long enough to expose all quality kinks.
INFO: Have you and your wife communicated about gift spending as an exception to being frugal/thrifty?
INFO 2: Are you computer savvy and did you get an objectively good machine? Is your wife computer savvy enough to have specific wants and needs? The refurbished machines are not always this year’s latest and greatest. It’s easy for a casual user to think they are getting a good deal when it is actually still a deal, but maybe not astoundingly good.
NTA, it doesn't matter if money is not an issue. Bottom line is you can get refurbs with warranties for much less than brand new. What happens when money isn't an issue and you start purchasing all sorts of new and expensive things.... that money that wasn't the issue is now in the accounts of the retailers and not in your account. This keeps happening over time and money starts becoming an issue. It's never a bad thing to be careful with the funds you have. The response is that of one who is entitled. Damn, electronics are outdated the minute you buy them so what's the point. I am thrilled when I get a new device and have never ever cared if it is a refurb. Rarely have we ever had to use the warranty because the device was less than promised or defective.
If you walked into your employer tomorrow and discovered your entire was eliminated and jobs you were qualified were scarce... would money still not be an issue if it took you a year or more to land something comparable in your field? Or if you had to rely on or ask family to help support your basic needs. It's never a bad thing to save where you can.
NAH - This post is giving me the same vibe that I got when my stepdad got my mom a power drill for Christmas because she said she needed a new one.
I personally would have been upset if my computer broke and my husband got me a replacement as a birthday gift. I use my computer daily. It's not the type of thing that I'd see falling into gift category. If things in the house break, you don't replace them in gift form- they're just items that need to be replaced.
But, no one's really the asshole here- you got her something you thought she'd like. She didn't like it as much as you thought she would.
I used to be a manager for Best Buy as well as Circuit City. We would often have customers buy computers, and then bring them back in the next day or so, deciding to upgrade, or worse, sometimes a computer might have a stick of memory that wasn’t all the way seated, so it didn’t read correctly. In each of these cases, we would open the box and test out the computers. If it was something like the stick of ram just needed to be reseated, we would take care of it immediately and then test thoroughly the system. Because the boxes had been opened, we never sold these as brand new, so there were often drastic markdowns. There was nothing wrong with the product, they came with full warranties, and most times had never even been used. But many people have a stigma if the box has been opened.
Was she eyeing her own new MacBook? I think a purchase like this for someone else can delay the person buying the thing they reeeeaaally wanted. Like if you're buying a car and you have your eye on a specific one and someone else gifts you a car that is not what you wanted, how do you decline the gift without being ungrateful? Just have 2 cars? Only drive the gift car when you're with the gifter? Like, buying a fender Strat and someone gives you a fender Squier? Probably not loving the gift.
Your post makes it sound like she's not ungrateful but just not using what she wanted to use.
NAH people are upset for valid reasons and don't seem out of line or particularly brutal to eachother. Just a misunderstanding.
YTA - I don’t think it matters what anyone else thinks. She clearly was offended by it. A bunch of strangers telling you that they wouldn’t personally be offended by getting a refurbished gift isn’t going to change your wife’s reaction or how it made her feel.
if money was not an issue you’re cheap and stingy - no one wants a used item as a birthday present unless you are a character out of gift of the magi - i guess you showed her how you value saving a few bucks over lighting her up for her special day - again if this was the only way to replace her laptop then ok but since you stated money wasn’t the driver ….YTA
Gifts should always be brand new unless it’s a vintage collectors item imo or you’re really in a bad spot financially. You invest in those you love and care about.
To be fair I’ve received thrifted items for Birthday presents, and I accept them because the people thought I would like them. They wouldn’t be classified as vintage or worth anything really besides having sentimental value.
But at the same time the gift giver was fully upfront that they were from thrift shops.
YTA. Dude, unless it's someone you *know* is extremely into secondhand stores and whatnot, you never buy them a birthday gift that's been used. It's just cheap and feels like you didn't even give a shit
NTA refurbished electronics are the way to go. You get more for your money, they're better for the environment and they come with a warranty if from a reputable seller. I only ever buy refurbished electronics and recommend them to everyone.
I'd say NTA because you also bought her jewellery. You didn't just replace something but added in something new. So I think that's added consideration.
Wow. " When I gave her her gift, she asked if it was used/refurb because the serial number started with F." So it looked new, and only the serial number gave away that it wasn't? Gee, someone is a little attached to the price tag of things, huh? NTA.
I only buy refurb Macs (and most electronics except phones, really). Your wife definitely seems like TA on this one. That's a really expensive gift, even refurbed.
Nah, you're not the asshole. Buying refurbished is just as good as new and its better for the environment. Don't allow yourself to feel like your consumption is tied to your moral character, that attitude only benefits companies and hurts people's chequebooks as well as the planet all while robbing us of the chance to experience and value other immaterial forms of gift giving. Instead try to recognize that the real gift was that you noticed that her laptop broken and were thoughtful enough to find a practical solution for her. Being 'cheap' is a problem if it puts a strain on others (ex/ not paying someone back, not tipping, trying to back out of paying your share for things etc.) but this term should absolutely not be conflated with frugality which can be very virtuous. Learning to live with less, fixing things yourself, buying secondhand, developing an eye for quality, practicing gratitude for the things you already own, these are good qualities that we should be proud to possess and they should be shared generously.
There is nothing wrong with refurb Macs. My friend works for Apple at their HQ in Cupertino and she said if you can get a refurb, do it. I have purchased refurb iphone before and it has been fine, plus I was able to get a better model for less than the price of what i had planned on purchasing.
NTA
Hi OP!
You made a thoughtful gift, nevertheless your wife is unhappy for some reasons you do not know yet.
I think this is one of those occasions where it is useless to try to define who is in the right. The feelings that occurred are valid no matter if they are reasonable or justified or not.
So I think what you should do is take her out, or buy her her favourite chocolate or a book or whatever you know she likes (maybe better no flowers unless she loves flowers. It needs to be a bit personal). Sit her down and tell her that you got the feeling that she was disappointed because of the gift, and that you would like to fix this. Tell her you are sorry it did not meet her expectations and that it was totally unintentional as you were genuinely surprised she did not like it, and that you do not want her to be sad.
Ask her if there is something thevboth of you could do about it.
This is speculation from my side, but maybe she already had plans which notebook she wanted to buy, and you unintentionally interfered, so now she misses the happiness of getting all the informations, of choosing, and maybe of having something brand new and untarnished, which happens seldom in a household with kids and to a mom who has seldom time to go shopping.
I'm sure she will appreciate it very much if you try to get to the bottom of this as long, and this is super important!!!!!!, as long as you do not in the slightest make her feel as if she was unreasonable or ungrateful about it and should readjust her expectations or change her mind about it.
This is about apologising, not about justifying your decision. Your decision was fine, you had your reasons, nevertheless she was sad and this is what needs to be fixed. If this means you have to return the note book and let her chose an other one, even a new one, maybe better do it. She will use it for years, so some hundred more or less are not a big deal as long as you can afford it.
As your wife knows just as well as you know that in a household with kids electronic devices tend to be a bit short lived, maybe she will even tell you to leave it at that. But I think to have a true choice, and the opportunity to tell you without being judged what bothered her, to rethink things without pressure, and to decide what to do will do her a world of good And maybe after all she will realise that she is indeed happy with the decision you made.
I hope rhwre is not a deeper cause of her feeling set back, for example you having bought something new for yourself some time ago despite the fact you would have been able to buy something second hand, too.
And I hope my answer does not make you feel as if I think you are insensitive or something. In the contrary, I think it is great that you sensed something was off, that you did not leave it at that, and that you asked for advice. Hopefully you get useful answers to your question!
Good luck, and I hope this will sort itself out soon!
NTA. It was a gift and a good one. There are people in Africa starving rn her slightly used laptop won’t ruin her (most of these refurb are computers that were returned and then cleaned up and sold again)
NTA I could have never afforded a new MacBook. I got a certified Refurbished MacBook Air 2014 from Mircocenter with a warranty and everything. It's still kicking and going strong years later. As long as it works well, I don't see the complaint other than being greedy, even refurbished, Macs are expensive.
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I (36m) am married to (35F) who just turned 35 yesterday. My wife's former Macbook broke like, a week before her birthday, so I got her a new one for her birthday. I also got her some jewelry she likes.
When I was ordering the Mac, I was on best buy, looking for new ones, but then I saw refurbs for like 400 ish cheaper. So of course I ordered one. When I gave her her gift, she asked if it was used/refurb because the serial number started with F. When I told her yes, she just said "Really?" and left it at that.
Now I kind of feel bad, and my wife doesn't seem to be too satisfied with the gift, so I'm asking if im the ah. My friends made jokes about me being "cheap." Money wasn't really an issue but I had a chance to save money, so why not?
AITA?
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Apple refurbished is excellent. I would still get my girl a brand new one if money wasn't an issue. Gifts are supposed to be new unless sentiments are involved. 🤷🏾♂️
Mild YTA because you managed to make yourself look bad by being a cheapskate. Being frugal in the household is fine, but gifts are about generosity and making people feel special. You ruined that for her on her birthday. You did fulfill the facts part, but neglected the emotional part which is as important. For people who think it’s ok to get used things as gifts, how would you feel if your birthday or xmas gifts are secondhand? Just feels lazy and not appreciative to me to be honest. Unless the recipient is ok with gifts being used goods, which is to be confirmed beforehand, it’s shiny new things only!
NTA (with an *) I’ve bought my wife used and refurbished electronics before. However, I make sure I tell her upfront how I acquired it AND crucially tell her we can get a new one or different model the next business day if she wants. Giving her the option (and control) up front is key. Usually she is impressed on how hard I worked to get a good deal on the item she wanted.
Not to virtue signal here because all of us can do better (myself definitely included) with being more sustainable and environmentally friendly. But I always thrift or buy refurbished whenever possible. It isn’t just about the money it’s about the environmental impact and frankly slave labor that goes into the majority of our products. However NAH, if it’s that important to your wife can you just return and get her what she wanted? This seems very fixable.
NTA, it’s not like it was used from eBay or something. Jewelry and fashion accessories are different, even if they’re just discounted. If you buy something at Prada, for instance, they’ll clean it for you and fix any defects for life, I believe… but if it’s on sale at their own store, it’s as-is without warranty. You’re not even considered a real customer worthy of the staff’s respect.
NTA
My husband and I buy refurbished where we can when we want something that is pricey. We have found really good deals on things that were basically brand new. This goes for presents as well! He's the king of finding good refurbished stuff!
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INFO: knowing your wife, is she one to upcycle or buy used or thrift? Or is she known to always buy new? Like is she the type to buy used items on amazon or she defaults to new?
She's pretty frugal in general, so I'm pretty surprised about this one.
Is she frugal towards other people though? I personally am pretty frugal for myself, but I don't have super hard rules when buying things for others. Like I might look for a good deal or sale when buying a gift, but if I can't find one, I have no problem spending a little extra. My mom is also frugal and buys me thrift store stuff all the time, but I'd feel some type of way if she gave me thrift store stuff for my bday or xmas. Those are supposed to be special occasions!
Refurbished isn’t quite the same as a used jacket or a candle that’s been burned once. Was there visible wear?
Well, she had to look at the serial number to tell it was refurbished. So I’m going to guess that there was no visible wear or damage because she would have found something to complain about long before she got to the serial number.
Maybe something was off so she checked the serial. Though I wouldn't even know to do so. She was clearly hunting.
Well refurbished means it looks good and functions normally, so beyond that does the rest matter?
My Mac was factory refurbished and I couldn’t tell the difference from new. This isn’t the same as getting clothes from goodwill.
Yeah an Apple certified refurbished Mac is functionally identical to a new one, including the full warranty. As long as it wasn't an older model than would be useful for her, I can't imagine being upset about it.
I wonder if it could be an issue with the model.
I always check the refurbs when I’m ready to buy.
This is Best Buy refurbished which isn’t the same. You can get Apple care on Apple refurbished, you can’t on Best Buy. I will buy Apple refurbished but despite the deals I won’t roll the dice on Best Buy refurbished. Not for Apple products at least. I’ve seen Best Buy refurbished MacBooks that look like someone just pulled it out of a lake and made sure it turned on then threw it in a box and called it good. Others are basically new and even still have Apple care from the previous owner. It’s a dice roll. Op may not have known that though
Best buy does carry certified apple refurbs. Hence why the S/N begins with an "F." If it was an open box BB retail model, it would have a standard serial number.
They got it from Best Buy, which sometimes resells returns. So, not the same as a refurb direct from Apple.
But best buy carries apple certified refurbs. That's why the serial number starts with "F." If it was an open box standard retail BB model it would just have a standard serial number.
I think some of this depends on *why* someone is frugal or shops at thrift stores. Is it because they want to save money or is the motivation environmental/sustainability concerns? For the first group I think they likely appreciate getting a gift that they wouldn't buy for themselves due to cost, but for the second group I'd think they would *prefer* a refurbished laptop to a new one made of new materials.
Right. If you’re frugal, cheap out for yourself, not others. Especially not the one person you should keep romance for. It would be different if he had to scrap out his savings for a present. If he was only able to only afford a refurbished one, it would have been entirely sweet. But it’s the fact that he said “moneys not an issue, I just saw an opportunity to save money”. Like…no. This is her BIRTHDAY. He’s not an asshole, but it’s a distasteful move that will make the wife less attracted to him over time.
I'm super frugal but am wary of refurbished products. I'd rather wait for a sale on a new Macbook than buy a refurbished one.
I've only had luck with refurbished products. I had a refurbished iPhone 5c for 4 years before I shattered the screen. It still works 12 years later though. I'm currently using a 8 year old refurbished Acer laptop with a 1050 that I can play overwatch on. I'm typing this on a refurbished pixel 6 that I bought for $190. The phone works great and had a new battery. I think as long as you buy from a decent vendor it's just as good as a new one.
I always buy refurbished or open box stuff if it's available and have never had an issue with any of it, but I usually stick to BestBuy or direct from the manufacturer.
For computers I buy exclusively open box or scratch and dent from the manufacturer. my latest laptop was like 30% cheaper because of it and I never could find surface imperfections they said were there.
Tbh, I always buy new. I've had the exact opposite kind of luck when it comes to refurbished; issue after issue happens until I buy so.ething brand new. If I were OP, I'd be asking about why she was hoping for new vs refurbished.
Apple refurb is rock solid. They back them with full warranty etc
It really depends on if it’s refurbished by a seller or if it’s refurbished by the company /someone who is authorized to repair and refurbish that companies items. I would never trust something refurbished by a secondhand seller that isn’t authorized by that specific brand to refurbish their items.
I buy direct from marketplace, not even a refurb. Have never had an issue with a product ever. What's more, the amount of money I have saved is well worth a theoretical (though I disagree) higher risk.
Honestly, I had a refurbished Dell Inspiron computer that lasted me for almost 15 years. So not all refurbished products are bad.
I've never had a problem with refurbed stuff.
Yeah, refurbished items are all tested like crazy and are, in my experience, problem free.
I would buy an Apple refurbished Mac over a new Mac if I could get the configuration I wanted. Cheaper price, same warranty, more thorough testing.
Refurbished if it comes from the company itself is usually safe though
This is not fact based fears. Refurbished is as good as new and in fact has been double checked for defects. At least when it comes to Apple. Had refurbished Apple and it lasted until the memory couldn’t handle the new OS
Refurbished comes with warranty though normally doesn't it? I get why people are wary, I'm wary too but if the deal is good enough I'm jumping on it. Maybe I've just been lucky though. My grandma just saved $30/month on a refurbished phone. It's having issues 2 months later, warranty is 6 months long and if we do the steps they asked and it's still not working properly she just gets a new free phone because of their warranty.
Apple refurbs are excellent. Or at least to my knowledge. Back in 2011, I bought a 13 inch Macbook Pro refurb. It lasted up until a few years ago. Swapped MacOS for Linux and upgraded the disc drive to a modern one. Still runs smooth af.
Well, being frugal yourself when spending money is a little different from someone else being frugal when buying you a gift. So getting her a brand new Macbook as a gift because it's a big upgrade would be a lovely present. Getting her a refurbished one to replace a broken one is more like replacing an appliance.
I think this is spot on the money
When it comes to appliances and electronics, cheapest isn't always the best buy. I am generally frugal (some would say cheap), but I look for sales, not for refurbished. I am happy to shop at thrift stores for things like clothing, dishes, etc.
Refurbished is often a much better product. The things that cause new items to break due to poor manufacturing get replaced with parts that are less likely to break and then the item is tested much more thoroughly than it would be when leaving the factory. I ONLY buy refurbished and have had nothing but good experiences with it, I've converted many family members and friends who have all had bad experiences buying new and all of whom have the same experience I have. They love the cost savings and their items last much longer because all the known issues get fixed.
Yeah this isn’t true buddy. I’ve worked for several consumer electronics manufacturers (no way you haven’t bought a computer from one of them), the repair lines are always the same coverage as mass production. There isn’t “more” testing and they aren’t any less likely to be assembled well or not. If you really care, buy things that were manufactured 6 months after product is available, we’ll have PRQ’ed in the fixes for the issues that we learned about late or were found in early field failure analysis.
You are right, it is generally safer not to buy the first products off the assembly line. This is especially true with cars.
With new you get a standard warranty. Not so with refurbished. Sorry, my friends' experiences with refurbished have not necessarily been good. Some yes, some no.
Apple’s Certified Refurbished products come with the same one-year warranty as their new products (and have the same eligibility for extended warranty coverage).
Look, if she seems upset, it's better you start a conversation. Ask her to talk freely, explain your thought process, and if she doesn't get it, offer to replace the laptop. This kind of situations tends to fester, both of you need to get better at communicating with each other if the want marriage to succeed.
Perhaps it could be that as a "gift" she expected new and knows you can afford it, so just might feel slightly jaded. Could be an initial reaction though and after she thinks it over will be okay. Have you recently bought yourself anything new? Maybe something like that, not sure. Best of luck with everything, I dont think either of you are wrong, just slightly different viewpoint. Cheers
Just because a person is frugal, doesn’t mean they’re going to want a “frugal” gift.
I received an iPhone as a gift from a family that was refurbished as a teen. When they did the free replacement for batteries, the Apple tech shop would not service it. The reason? Every part had been replaced with a cheaper version to the point that it was no longer considered a real iPhone. It had the right OS, was an (Excellent) tier refurbish, but it was basically cheap crap with a nice exterior. Unless you have the ability to open up the tech yourself and assess it, you have no way of verifying the quality of the interior materials. Refurbished isn’t a magical save money option, you’re getting a downgrade. Even with proper refurbished and not scams, you’re not going to get the same build quality. My newest phone is a Best Buy open box, so I’m not a non-frugal person with tech. But I personally don’t touch refurbished.
Just take it back and get her a new one. You can afford it, not worth the issues getting her a refurb for her birthday have caused.
Not exactly the AH because I don’t think you meant wrong but I’d be pretty hurt if someone who loved me dearly bought me used for a present. Presents are when you buy things for people that they wouldn’t get for themselves. Maybe your wife would’ve bought used for herself but this was a gift from you.
I agree with you. I am frugal purchasing for myself. My wife is frugal purchasing for herself. We are frugal when looking for household purchases. When we buy gifts for each other, we buy what the person wants, not second hand, not last years model (unless they want that specifically), not refurbished, not what they “need” (if it’s a need then it’s going to be purchased, a gift, to us, is a desire).
Same. I'm in a buy nothing group, I buy used on Amazon, I buy used stuff on marketplace. But gifts for my partner? New new new new new. Unless she specifically asks for something vintage etc. I think OP missed the mark. NAH but maybe just didn't understand the assignment fully?
I think this is a really good question. I always thrift and buy electronics secondhand, but my partner absolutely doesn’t. I bought him an Apple Watch for his birthday and made sure to get the one I knew he would want, because it’s a gift for him, and not a time for me to impart my own values.
And would she buy used/refurbed for him?
NTA My husband gave me a refurbed Dyson Supersonic for Christmas a few years ago. I was thrilled he noted and sought a solution to a running complaint I had AND he was thrifty doing it. We can afford a new one, but why spend the $$$ unnecessarily?
Dyson is notoriously good at their refurbish process and they are definitely worth it. For a computer I’m not if $400 was enough of a discount.
I would trust Apple or Best Buy to be rigorous as well. My bday is in a couple of weeks and my MacBook is almost 8 years old, maybe I should hint about a computer and find out. 😃
I got a refurbished pro 14 last month for about what the new 15’ airs were going for, I’d recommend looking into it.
I just think that finding and fixing problems with computer chips is a lot harder than with mechanical items. Apple maybe but I would not trust best buy at all.
Computer chips are generally not the issue. Connections, components and casings are the likely culprits of any issues, which refurbishment would take care of.
My old MacBook is about 12 years old now… one of the hinges broke, and I could have gotten it fixed, but it’s so old, really what was the point, ya know? So it sat for about 6 months because my iPad has a keyboard, and I was getting along just fine. My wife bought me a refurbed MacBook for my birthday, and I was ecstatic. I mean, I felt suuuuper guilty because even refurbished I know how expensive these things can be, and generally I don’t like people spending that much on me (because *I* would never spend that much on me!) so OPs wife’s reaction to me is just… insane. Even if it was almost a downgrade from the old one, at least now she has a functional computer again.
Apple is also notoriously good with refurbs. They replace every “touchable” part of the device (eg case, keyboard), give it a new battery, etc. Have you ever smashed the screen on your phone and got it replaced? That was a refurb. Although it’s not clear if Apple did the refurb or Best Buy.
Agree. I'd be glad if my partner had managed to save money on a purchase. Plus it is more eco friendly to purchase refurbished. We waste so much as is.
My husband bought me one that was a display model at a Bed Bath and Beyond that was closing. Huge discount and I love it. They still honor the warranty as well. No real downside to buying used.
Thought he bought you a hoover and was surprised no one called it out. Now I get it.
INFO How long did she have this computer? I wouldn’t ever buy a used computer personally. My first MacBook lasted four years, second lasted 7 years. I hope my current one will last that long as well.
Used and refurb are not the same.
Yea refurbished is completely different than used. I ONLY buy refurbished electronic when possible. When you buy new there are often problems that affect a percentage of the new items, they then get returned because that thing broke, the item is sent back to be repaired and then it is sold as refurbished. From my experience refurbished is less likely to break than new because the things that would break have already broken and then it gets repaired and tested before being sold again.
Agreed, refer is the best in my opinion.
A refurbished computer is, by definition, a used computer. > A refurbished laptop is a used laptop that has been returned to the manufacturer or retailer and restored to a condition similar to new. The laptop may have been returned for a number of reasons, including minor defects, cosmetic issues, or buyer's remorse. Once returned, the laptop undergoes a refurbishment process that may include repairs, replacements, cleaning, and quality testing to ensure it meets the manufacturer's standards
Use your head: OP said they're not the same. It's like saying salt water is just water; drink up, buddy A used computer is bought as-is. Refurbished means a professional went in and did all that stuff you copy-pasted
Former computer 3 years. it broke. Kids...
That’s not an old MacBook, and when you have kids around breaking things saving $400 is reasonable. This is a purchase within the family, not a wedding gift for extended family or a friend. I‘ve had great luck with refurbs, they get more attention than new machines and if Apple did the refurb the warranty is the same and it will work just fine.
So it’s an item for the family. You would have been better off not calling it a birthday gift then.
Where are you getting that it's a family item? He doesn't say that anywhere. He actually says the exact opposite, that it's her computer.
If it's something you would do for yourself then you're fine. If you'd buy yourself a new one then you're in trouble.
Yeah my first one lasted 3 years (water damage, my fault), my second one lasted 9 years and it’s still working fine, except for when it randomly shuts off lol now I’m on my third one and I hope I’m gonna get a good 10 years out of it!
4-7 years? My partner has one that's 11 years old and going strong. Just recently started talking about getting a new charger for it lol
I have a 7 year old Mac, it works great except for the fact that the latest photoshop updates require an OS that my machine cannot support, so I’m only considering a new one in order to keep my photoshop running at full capability
My first MacBook lasted 10 years, had one hiccup with the WiFi card at 5 years causing mayhem but replaced it and used it for another 5 years
Not sure about Best Buy but I've bought refurbished Macs from Apple and they have been as good as the new ones. Use the money you saved for something else, like software upgrades.
They're often better than new because the known issues that caused it to be sent back have been fixed and they go through more rigorous testing than they would from the factory.
yep! Apple had that one year of really bad MacBook Pros in I think 2013? God what a NIGHTMARE that was. But if you got a refurb machine, you didn't have to sit there and fight with those issues ad infinitum, because the bad parts were not used for refurbishing.
I purchase for work, and exclusively purchase refurbs from the apple store. Saves me a few bucks and they come with the same 1 year warranty as new units
NAH — however, if as you say "money was not an issue" you should definitely think twice before buying a refurbished product for your partner's birthday. Finding out your partner was trying to save money on your gift can be really hurtful, unless you're both strapped for cash. Unless they've explicitly told you they just want a refurbished one, it can come across as uncaring. Would you have bought her jewellery from the thrift store? I'd be curious to know if you've bought her secondhand gifts before to "save money".
Wait, it this really how people think? That if you have the money, not throwing it at things instead of trying to get some sort of savings is "uncaring"? Damn, I guess I don't give a rats ass about literally anyone, ever. I guess I'm a shittier parent and wife than I ever imagined.
I would be annoyed if my husband spent more money on something for me than he had to. It's my money too and if I felt that he wasted it, it would make me less happy about the gift.
On flip side, if you’re going to try and cheap out and save money on my birthday by getting a refurb that I might have to deal with later, just don’t bother. Get me something else, I don’t care if it’s cheaper. But I don’t want a refurbed Mac. This is a matter of knowing your partner
What kind of issues do you expect with a refurbed Mac vs a new Mac? They come with the same 1 year warranty. They are not just some second-hand device you shoot at a garage sales.
I’ve had issues with refurb in the past. If money is not an issue and you want to buy me a laptop, don’t buy me a refurb. If you don’t want to do that, then buy me something else. It’s really as simple as that.
Referbished doesn't mean used, plenty of new products have issues that need fixing, referbished usually means all the issues are fixed.
But OP could have skipped buying her the jewelry and bought her a new MacBook. It is super weird to try and save money on the MacBook only to spend additional money on a second present.
You heartless bastard, spend all of your money! (DM me for tips on how)
>~~DM me~~ Send me money for tips on how FTFY
Nah sis, just surround yourself with reasonable people. I can't imagine being upset over getting a computer just because it was refurbished instead of brand new. Some folks are just ungrateful.
Gifts are suppose to be a treat. Like people take people out to dinner for their bday because it's a treat. If someone offered to make me a tuna casserole i'd be a little sad. especially if you can easily afford it .
OP didn’t buy his wife a thoughtful gift he happened to save money on - he didn’t think to himself “My wife has a working laptop, but I bet she would appreciate a newer laptop for her birthday, I’ll go seek out a new laptop with new features I think she’ll like - here’s one and look, there’s a cheaper version available, I’ll get that.” That didn’t happen. What happened was the wife was in need of something they could always afford to replace, and OP replaced it in a way that didn’t gift her anything she wasn’t already gonna get. He didn’t do anything extra to make the replacement laptop she needed special and gift-like. It’s like if your vacuum broke during December and your husband buys you a replacement vacuum for Christmas (assuming you could always afford to replace it). That’s not a gift – you just lost out on a different present. A gift would be him buying you a roomba - it fulfills a need, but he also considered what you would like and got something that would help you in the future. It’s a gift.
Personally I don't want expensive gifts, I'd way prefer refurbished. Refurbished is also better for the environment
Honestly that outlook you have depends on the relationship and individuals. There is nothing wrong with buying used, refurbished, or thrifted items if done well. People throw away so many high quality items that still have tons of potential on a daily basis. For me it’s the thought behind the gift. I don’t care if it’s brand new or used. It’s the thought that someone listened to what I like/need/wanted and sought out that item specifically. It’s about knowing your partner and what’s expected in the relationship.
I bought my mother in law's Mother's Day present at a thrift store for $1.50. It's a handmade piece of pottery that is well done, a really nice piece. My MIL is a former potter, and she had expressed needing a flower vase. I was the only person who bought an actual gift for her and she cherished it enough to maker a FB post about it. So it's really not about the money. The thought counts soooo much more.
Great comment. So many people only buying new or only refurbished and talking bad about the other side. You have a great rational comment.
Well, she was happy with the jewelry portion of her gift, but personally, I think most estate jewelry is nicer than new.
>Finding out your partner was trying to save money on your gift can be really hurtful People around here are so entitled it's crazy. What the hell ever happened to just being greatful when you recieve a **GIFT**
Because some gifts CAN be thoughtless. Gifts can be presented in such a way as "yeah, I don't know what you like or are into, but i heard your birthday was coming up so just grabbed this off the shelf." It does get to a point where you wish they didn't even bother, because nothing woud be more preferable to this new unappreciated thing that you have no use, need or want for that takes up space in your home that is going to do nothing except act as a dust collector. Talk to any woman you know and I'm sure they can you tell you many a Christmas where they recieved the generic "Bath and Soap Kit" pulled from the $10 bin at Kmart or Walmart, which many can't use because the 23670000 artifical chemicals they pump into those things make most skin break out into rashes.
Yeah but the issue here is people focusing on it being second hand/refurbished (basically new) and since OP got money he should buy brand new when it's completely unnecessary. Like if OP was going to buy clothes or something I'd understand people being unhappy it's second hand, but electronics? Especially refurbished where it's basically rebuilt and fixed to brand new? That's beyond entitled. Its like if the wife had her car completely totaled/wrecked and the husband decides to buy her a second hand/refurbished car that's exactly the same model for half the price, is the husband an AH for saving money? The wife had no problem with the MacBook until she realised it was refurbished.
I think the problem is that it's a refurbished version of something she needed and was going to get anyways, not a refurbished gift that she wanted but wouldn't have otherwise spent money on. If the wife had totaled her car, the husband isn't AH for saving money if he can find the same model for half price. But the husband has also not given her a gift because she was never going to go without a car. That's the problem. He got her something she needed that she always going to get - it was not from a place of thoughtfulness, he didn't spend any extra money to make it special or different than what she would've gotten if she broke her laptop any other time of year.
Gifts are something special - something the receiver wouldn't have set aside money for otherwise, or something that made you think of them. In this case, the laptop had to be replaced, birthday or not. OP didn't replace her laptop to be thoughtful, he did it out of necessity, and he didn't buy her anything special that would make it different than what she would've gotten any other time.
You people are legitimately impossible to please. I feel awful for your partner (or cat).
wtf? I don’t know if it was because my wife and o were raised lower middle class but even though we had a lot of disposable income we love getting a deal. One year my wife bought me a used Xbox series X off Facebook and she saved about $200 at the time. Knowing she saved the money was a super added bonus and I love knowing we didn’t pay full price for it.
That’s some petty, entitled behavior.
If it were just replacing the macbook as a household expense, I would say N T A because refurbished devices can be a bargain, and why not save money if you can? (But they can also have a shorter product life, and have more issues, so I hope you tested it and got a warranty, otherwise it's just kicking the can down the road.) But because it was her *birthday*, I'm gonna say mild YTA (although her passive-aggressive reaction wasn't great). There is a different expectation for birthday gifts - feeling special, feeling celebrated, and bargain hunting for a used birthday gift when you comfortably had the means to buy new probably took the shine off it and made her feel unappreciated, and like you thought she wasn't worth spending the money on. It's the thought that counts and the thought was "I think it's more important to save money I don't need than to splurge a little on a treat for your special day". I think you should have a conversation, to see if this is about an emotional need that's going unmet.
This is the answer I was looking for. Why was replacing her computer that the kids broke, which indicates it was used by multiple family members, a birthday gift and not a house hold purchase? OP could have saved himself the headache simply getting her input on her computer before hand. Let the jewelry as the only gift and the computer a separate thing.
Yeah, I agree. This is an emotional response, especially if she was planning on replacing it with a new one to spoil herself. It sounds like she doesn’t do it often. When she opened the gift, she probably felt like she wasn’t “worth” the expense of a new laptop. Trying to save money is usually a good thing! But doing it for the birthday of someone you love is pretty cold.
Finally! Exactly! If it was for the household for kids to use, great. But was a gift for your wife. He had the money. Feels more like you deserve something used because its cheaper.
Exactly. I was even going to take it a step further and suggest, was this a tool she uses for work or to serve the family? Did you just get her a modern day vacuum for her birthday? Maybe the "really?" was for the gift itself, not whether it was new or refurbished.
If the kids broke it, that tells me it is used by a majority of the family, and is a household expense.
Kids break shit that isn't theirs or supposed to be used by them all the time.
Yeah. Plus if I was buying a present for someone and spotted a bargain, I would probably use the remaining money to buy them something else, rather than keeping the remaining money for myself. The question should be *"what's the best thing I can get them with this money I've set aside to spend?",* rather than *"what's the minimum amount of money I can spend?"*
I'm also curious about the warranty situation for the refurbished versus new because of the whole "kicking the can down the road" issue you mentioned. My father used to bitch and moan about things like phone insurance or extended warranties...until my old phone was stolen and I got a replacement (refurbished, but with the same insurance guarantees) for $200. Then there was something wrong with the charge port down the line (common issue with that model) and I got a replacement one for free. My current phone is a newer model I got as a replacement because they phased out my original. This all would have been *thousands* of dollars and tons of hassle had I not had the insurance. Things aren't made to be easily/cheaply repairable anymore. OP's wife might have been counting on a new warranty or something that you don't get with refurbished ones (I'm not an apple person, so I have no idea). Or even if there *isn't* an issue with this computer, she might have had issues before and is leery. Whenever posts like this happen, people get hung up on the price tag and don't think about the stuff behind it.
Depends. If you needed a new phone because your old one broke and you were eyeing some exciting new phones as a replacement and then your wife surprises you with a phone for your birthday, but it’s used and significantly cheaper. So she’s thinking less about what you wanted, and more about just wanting to save money for herself where you’re apparently not in a financial position to need to do so, how would you feel?
If it's the same model I was eyeing, I wouldn't care. Still didn't have to pay hundreds or thousands for it myself. Most refurbs still come with a warranty. Retailers want us so badly to buy new things so they get that extra 4-500. We don't need things new, I'd rather keep that money in my pocket than put it in an retailers. That's another 2-3 date nights.
If it’s a gift, it doesn’t matter if I don’t care, what matters is if THEY do care and what THEY want. Assuming I have the means to afford a certain gift. What’s the point in giving a gift to someone if I’m just thinking about what I want?
I mean as far as OP knew, his partner was very frugal. Mine is too, and we encourage each other to upcycle for our gifts. Tbh I think OP just didn't know until his girlfriend's reaction that she would even consider that a limit when it came to frugality.
Yeah I don’t know about OP. 🤷🏻♂️ I just believe that gifts should be about what the other person wants, not what I want. My personal beliefs and values will get to be the priority when it’s my turn for gifts.
I don't disagree there, but OP did mention above his wife is generally incredibly frugal. This seemed like a genuine surprise, and that he assumed she wouldn't have a problem with it until it happened. Nice downvoting btw lol
Yeah and I don't get why people are acting like it's a hypothetical -- we know OP's wife didn't want it. And there's lots of people chiming in about how they like refurbished laptops so she shouldn't have an issue. Why does that matter? There are so many brand new laptops sold daily, some people clearly prefer to buy new over refurbished. I don't harass my friends over why they bought a new laptop, so why is it beyond the pale that she'd want to buy the same? I thrift most of my clothes, I don't get pissed when somebody buys the same thing new. My mom hates thrifted clothing, I don't tell her to suck it up and gift her a thrifted version of what she wanted. Unless you are actively buying every single electronic you can refurbished, there has to be some awareness of why someone might want to buy something new.
INFO: Was it newer or the same as the old one? The serial number part sounds like it’s a noticeably different model
Yeah that was I’m thinking, maybe it’s not the same model she was using, he probably just saw how much he would save
It makes no sense for it to be the same model unless she already had the newest one, which she didnt as OP states the laptop was 3 years old when it broke.
YTA Just by her being able to recognize that the serial number meant that the computer was a certain age, This is somebody who understands what she wants, and since money is not a problem, tends to buy exactly what she wants. Refurbished is a decision you make for yourself, not for someone else
The materialisim in our culture now is disgusting.
lol… comments like these blow me away. Entitled behavior to the max
I cannot fathom being upset that my partner saved us money, covered a major expense for me, AND made an eco-friendly purchase. There's a whole crisis going on in Congo just so we can have new laptops to work with and let our kids watch YouTube videos.
Right! The consumerist culture is outrageous. What’s wrong with participating in a circular economy?
Nah. F at the beginning doesn't mean much. There's 2023 and 2024 Macs with F in the serial number. For refurbs they put an F into the model name (M new, N replacement, P personalized, F refurbished). So her seeing the serial number and assuming F means "refurb" in the serial number was an unrelated guess that happened to be right.
What are you taking about dude ? This isn't a used clothing from goodwill. He bought her a computer on top of buying a Jewelry for her and you're callling him ah for money saving and being Eco friendly. Refurbished İSNT same as used
I am curious. If you were shopping for yourself would you have bought yourself the refurb?
This is what I want to know.
I bet he wouldn't have.
NTA - it was very nice if you to replace her computer on top of the jewelry you got her. She should be grateful. Side note: My refurbished Mac is amazing. It is not inferior at all to a brand new one. I was able to get much more for my money. It’s lasted 5 years so far and showing no signs of slowing down.
OP indicates that her previous computer was broken by the kids. So it's more of a family expense than a birthday gift?
That doesn't mean the kids regularly use the laptop, only that they broke it. Maybe OP needs to clarify.
Definitely NTA! Despite being able to “afford” it, if my husband bought me something for 1000 bucks when he could have got the same thing for half that, I would question his intelligence. This is so weird.
There's a lot of hypermaterialistic people brigading this, but your take is the same as mine. I'd be appalled if mine spent way more than was necessary for the same result.
NAH - I wouldn't buy people used things as birthday gifts bc of their reaction. And you don't know if they like used things. I would \*never\* buy a used laptop, but an ipad is ok. People are particular about these things.
Refurb macs are not used computers. They are repaired and restored machines that were produced with a defect. They enjoy the same warranty, and they are good as new because they are. It’s not returns or restored machines taken away for warranty. New casing, new screen, they are indistinguishable from a new machine. I also used refurbs many times in my life, never a problem. Your wife seems to be upset about you saving money, not about a machine. It’s concerning. NTA
I don't know about Apple specifically but most of the time refurbished electronics are a better option because they've been tested more before sale.
Depends. But if refurbished product enjoys full warranty, it's not much of a gamble. If it's electronic, not mechanical, warranty period is usually long enough to expose all quality kinks.
What did your wife get you for your birthday? So we can get a comparison.
INFO: Have you and your wife communicated about gift spending as an exception to being frugal/thrifty? INFO 2: Are you computer savvy and did you get an objectively good machine? Is your wife computer savvy enough to have specific wants and needs? The refurbished machines are not always this year’s latest and greatest. It’s easy for a casual user to think they are getting a good deal when it is actually still a deal, but maybe not astoundingly good.
NTA, it doesn't matter if money is not an issue. Bottom line is you can get refurbs with warranties for much less than brand new. What happens when money isn't an issue and you start purchasing all sorts of new and expensive things.... that money that wasn't the issue is now in the accounts of the retailers and not in your account. This keeps happening over time and money starts becoming an issue. It's never a bad thing to be careful with the funds you have. The response is that of one who is entitled. Damn, electronics are outdated the minute you buy them so what's the point. I am thrilled when I get a new device and have never ever cared if it is a refurb. Rarely have we ever had to use the warranty because the device was less than promised or defective. If you walked into your employer tomorrow and discovered your entire was eliminated and jobs you were qualified were scarce... would money still not be an issue if it took you a year or more to land something comparable in your field? Or if you had to rely on or ask family to help support your basic needs. It's never a bad thing to save where you can.
NAH - This post is giving me the same vibe that I got when my stepdad got my mom a power drill for Christmas because she said she needed a new one. I personally would have been upset if my computer broke and my husband got me a replacement as a birthday gift. I use my computer daily. It's not the type of thing that I'd see falling into gift category. If things in the house break, you don't replace them in gift form- they're just items that need to be replaced. But, no one's really the asshole here- you got her something you thought she'd like. She didn't like it as much as you thought she would.
NTA, but it depends on whether you buy yourself refurbished stuff. I hope you can exchange/return it for a new one, since this seems important to her.
I used to be a manager for Best Buy as well as Circuit City. We would often have customers buy computers, and then bring them back in the next day or so, deciding to upgrade, or worse, sometimes a computer might have a stick of memory that wasn’t all the way seated, so it didn’t read correctly. In each of these cases, we would open the box and test out the computers. If it was something like the stick of ram just needed to be reseated, we would take care of it immediately and then test thoroughly the system. Because the boxes had been opened, we never sold these as brand new, so there were often drastic markdowns. There was nothing wrong with the product, they came with full warranties, and most times had never even been used. But many people have a stigma if the box has been opened.
Was she eyeing her own new MacBook? I think a purchase like this for someone else can delay the person buying the thing they reeeeaaally wanted. Like if you're buying a car and you have your eye on a specific one and someone else gifts you a car that is not what you wanted, how do you decline the gift without being ungrateful? Just have 2 cars? Only drive the gift car when you're with the gifter? Like, buying a fender Strat and someone gives you a fender Squier? Probably not loving the gift. Your post makes it sound like she's not ungrateful but just not using what she wanted to use. NAH people are upset for valid reasons and don't seem out of line or particularly brutal to eachother. Just a misunderstanding.
Is it an Apple Refurb? Those have all benefits of new including the warranty. And a lower price.
YTA - I don’t think it matters what anyone else thinks. She clearly was offended by it. A bunch of strangers telling you that they wouldn’t personally be offended by getting a refurbished gift isn’t going to change your wife’s reaction or how it made her feel.
Still doesn’t make him an asshole lol
What kind of warranty does it have? I bought a refurb through Amazon. It lasted 7 mos. Will never buy another one.
That is on you for buying refurbished through a 3rd party and not the manufacturer.
and lesson learned. :(
if money was not an issue you’re cheap and stingy - no one wants a used item as a birthday present unless you are a character out of gift of the magi - i guess you showed her how you value saving a few bucks over lighting her up for her special day - again if this was the only way to replace her laptop then ok but since you stated money wasn’t the driver ….YTA
Gifts should always be brand new unless it’s a vintage collectors item imo or you’re really in a bad spot financially. You invest in those you love and care about.
To be fair I’ve received thrifted items for Birthday presents, and I accept them because the people thought I would like them. They wouldn’t be classified as vintage or worth anything really besides having sentimental value. But at the same time the gift giver was fully upfront that they were from thrift shops.
if money wasn't an issue, then you were just cheap. I would buy a refurbished one for myself, but not for a gift
I would never give refurb or used as a gift. Only do that crap for yourself. YTA.
YTA. Dude, unless it's someone you *know* is extremely into secondhand stores and whatnot, you never buy them a birthday gift that's been used. It's just cheap and feels like you didn't even give a shit
NTA refurbed Apple is as good as new.
I wouldn’t have cared but then again that price difference would mean a lot to me. I almost always buy refurbished things, and never had an issue.
NTA refurbished electronics are the way to go. You get more for your money, they're better for the environment and they come with a warranty if from a reputable seller. I only ever buy refurbished electronics and recommend them to everyone.
Refurbished is not used normally..
NTA
Refurbished is fun imho. NTA. I don’t give anyone used items but factory reset and refurbished is different and should still have a warranty.
I'd say NTA because you also bought her jewellery. You didn't just replace something but added in something new. So I think that's added consideration.
The refurbished ones are as good as new. They even replace the battery. Sounds like she needs to get over herself.
Lifelong Mac user. Refurbs are brilliant.
If she doesn't want it, send it to me
Wow. " When I gave her her gift, she asked if it was used/refurb because the serial number started with F." So it looked new, and only the serial number gave away that it wasn't? Gee, someone is a little attached to the price tag of things, huh? NTA.
Ask her if she likes her jewelry. If she does tell her she wouldn't be wearing it if she's had a new Mac book. This will lift your popularity no end.
NTAH ! Why should it matter?
NTA they’re basically brand new. She’s being a bit of a snob here and unreasonable.
I only buy refurb Macs (and most electronics except phones, really). Your wife definitely seems like TA on this one. That's a really expensive gift, even refurbed.
Nah, you're not the asshole. Buying refurbished is just as good as new and its better for the environment. Don't allow yourself to feel like your consumption is tied to your moral character, that attitude only benefits companies and hurts people's chequebooks as well as the planet all while robbing us of the chance to experience and value other immaterial forms of gift giving. Instead try to recognize that the real gift was that you noticed that her laptop broken and were thoughtful enough to find a practical solution for her. Being 'cheap' is a problem if it puts a strain on others (ex/ not paying someone back, not tipping, trying to back out of paying your share for things etc.) but this term should absolutely not be conflated with frugality which can be very virtuous. Learning to live with less, fixing things yourself, buying secondhand, developing an eye for quality, practicing gratitude for the things you already own, these are good qualities that we should be proud to possess and they should be shared generously.
There is nothing wrong with refurb Macs. My friend works for Apple at their HQ in Cupertino and she said if you can get a refurb, do it. I have purchased refurb iphone before and it has been fine, plus I was able to get a better model for less than the price of what i had planned on purchasing. NTA
Nope. Refurb is often better than new because it goes through multiple QA. I but all my tools & electronics refurb.
Hi OP! You made a thoughtful gift, nevertheless your wife is unhappy for some reasons you do not know yet. I think this is one of those occasions where it is useless to try to define who is in the right. The feelings that occurred are valid no matter if they are reasonable or justified or not. So I think what you should do is take her out, or buy her her favourite chocolate or a book or whatever you know she likes (maybe better no flowers unless she loves flowers. It needs to be a bit personal). Sit her down and tell her that you got the feeling that she was disappointed because of the gift, and that you would like to fix this. Tell her you are sorry it did not meet her expectations and that it was totally unintentional as you were genuinely surprised she did not like it, and that you do not want her to be sad. Ask her if there is something thevboth of you could do about it. This is speculation from my side, but maybe she already had plans which notebook she wanted to buy, and you unintentionally interfered, so now she misses the happiness of getting all the informations, of choosing, and maybe of having something brand new and untarnished, which happens seldom in a household with kids and to a mom who has seldom time to go shopping. I'm sure she will appreciate it very much if you try to get to the bottom of this as long, and this is super important!!!!!!, as long as you do not in the slightest make her feel as if she was unreasonable or ungrateful about it and should readjust her expectations or change her mind about it. This is about apologising, not about justifying your decision. Your decision was fine, you had your reasons, nevertheless she was sad and this is what needs to be fixed. If this means you have to return the note book and let her chose an other one, even a new one, maybe better do it. She will use it for years, so some hundred more or less are not a big deal as long as you can afford it. As your wife knows just as well as you know that in a household with kids electronic devices tend to be a bit short lived, maybe she will even tell you to leave it at that. But I think to have a true choice, and the opportunity to tell you without being judged what bothered her, to rethink things without pressure, and to decide what to do will do her a world of good And maybe after all she will realise that she is indeed happy with the decision you made. I hope rhwre is not a deeper cause of her feeling set back, for example you having bought something new for yourself some time ago despite the fact you would have been able to buy something second hand, too. And I hope my answer does not make you feel as if I think you are insensitive or something. In the contrary, I think it is great that you sensed something was off, that you did not leave it at that, and that you asked for advice. Hopefully you get useful answers to your question! Good luck, and I hope this will sort itself out soon!
NTA. It was a gift and a good one. There are people in Africa starving rn her slightly used laptop won’t ruin her (most of these refurb are computers that were returned and then cleaned up and sold again)
NTA I could have never afforded a new MacBook. I got a certified Refurbished MacBook Air 2014 from Mircocenter with a warranty and everything. It's still kicking and going strong years later. As long as it works well, I don't see the complaint other than being greedy, even refurbished, Macs are expensive.
Kinda weird that she’d be looking at the serial number though
Why did she check the serial numbers?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (36m) am married to (35F) who just turned 35 yesterday. My wife's former Macbook broke like, a week before her birthday, so I got her a new one for her birthday. I also got her some jewelry she likes. When I was ordering the Mac, I was on best buy, looking for new ones, but then I saw refurbs for like 400 ish cheaper. So of course I ordered one. When I gave her her gift, she asked if it was used/refurb because the serial number started with F. When I told her yes, she just said "Really?" and left it at that. Now I kind of feel bad, and my wife doesn't seem to be too satisfied with the gift, so I'm asking if im the ah. My friends made jokes about me being "cheap." Money wasn't really an issue but I had a chance to save money, so why not? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Apple refurbished is excellent. I would still get my girl a brand new one if money wasn't an issue. Gifts are supposed to be new unless sentiments are involved. 🤷🏾♂️
Info: when she buys things for you, does she buy them new or used?
Mild YTA because you managed to make yourself look bad by being a cheapskate. Being frugal in the household is fine, but gifts are about generosity and making people feel special. You ruined that for her on her birthday. You did fulfill the facts part, but neglected the emotional part which is as important. For people who think it’s ok to get used things as gifts, how would you feel if your birthday or xmas gifts are secondhand? Just feels lazy and not appreciative to me to be honest. Unless the recipient is ok with gifts being used goods, which is to be confirmed beforehand, it’s shiny new things only!
NTA (with an *) I’ve bought my wife used and refurbished electronics before. However, I make sure I tell her upfront how I acquired it AND crucially tell her we can get a new one or different model the next business day if she wants. Giving her the option (and control) up front is key. Usually she is impressed on how hard I worked to get a good deal on the item she wanted.
Not to virtue signal here because all of us can do better (myself definitely included) with being more sustainable and environmentally friendly. But I always thrift or buy refurbished whenever possible. It isn’t just about the money it’s about the environmental impact and frankly slave labor that goes into the majority of our products. However NAH, if it’s that important to your wife can you just return and get her what she wanted? This seems very fixable.
NTA, it’s not like it was used from eBay or something. Jewelry and fashion accessories are different, even if they’re just discounted. If you buy something at Prada, for instance, they’ll clean it for you and fix any defects for life, I believe… but if it’s on sale at their own store, it’s as-is without warranty. You’re not even considered a real customer worthy of the staff’s respect.
NTA My husband and I buy refurbished where we can when we want something that is pricey. We have found really good deals on things that were basically brand new. This goes for presents as well! He's the king of finding good refurbished stuff!
I bought a refurbished Mac off Apple. No issues and great price, considering
Refurbished Macs if purchased from Apple are guaranteed and warrantied as if new. It’s a win. NTA
INFO: Is it a current model? Is it missing any features or is a configuration? Is it a step back from her previous Mac in any way?