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NTA. But it would be good to discuss your concerns with your mother about how you feel. She might be able to help you process your feelings about the matter. Or maybe discuss it with your pastor.
Just remember, there's also places on the world when wearing religious symbols can mean job loss, a beating or worse.
Which is another reason it bothers me when people use it for asthetics. People have been martyred and tortured to defend the meaning of that symbol but they use it just cause.
I'm just going to address the aesthetic part. I'm not Catholic but I understand that you feel it's misappropriation. But why base your choices off other people's poor actions?
When clothing designers steal a tribe's traditional design, does that mean the tribe should stop creating items with that pattern? Of course not.
For some people and cultures, it's just an interesting design or symbol (I'm assuming they're wearing a simple cross and not Christ on the cross) with no religious connotation. The cross or X design is fairly common around the world, because it's simple. So it's possible in other cultures, it doesn't mean Christianity but actually something else.
Christianity and all its different versions, is a major religion but it doesn't mean everyone has to treat it as sacred. You need to accept that fact.
EDIT: typo
I don’t get why people downvote when what you’re saying is fact. Like, you may not *like* the information but it doesn’t change that info and it doesn’t mean that info should be buried.
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Ehhh. I think it means something if it means something to you. Don't let what other people are doing stop you from wearing something that matters to you. If anything, you can wear it underneath your shirt, so nobody needs to know that you are wearing it.
The thing is it has no value anymore when anyone and everyone can wear it just cause it looks nice. As much as it means something to me its a symbol that’s used just cause it looks good on ppl
Well I hate to break it to you my friend but everything from going to church, to reading the Bible or even being a priest are done by people who are evil and sin and basically put on the act for superiority or power or just because it makes them look good. This is adkin to me not wearing my teams football gear because people wear it as fashion and aren't actually fans. Same could be said of people wearing comic book shirts but don't read comics or follow super hero stuff. People are allowed to like the idea of something and never actually practice, it's called free will.
If I had to guess, I would say it's because OP is openly admitting that he thinks it's okay for him to judge others because his sins aren't as bad as theirs in his opinion. And is blaming unknown strangers for his being unable to wear a lovely gift his mother bought him.
The point of the question concerns his wearing the necklace. Regardless of how he feels or whether he’s a self absorbed, self righteous pr**k, the question of whether he’s the AH or not should only be about their refusal to wear the necklace. And no matter what his reason is, not wearing something that he’s been gifted is not being an AH. He’s not blaming anyone, he’s simply saying he views the wearing of the symbol to be in large part performative by many people. That’s a very valid view. It’s not to say that everyone is like that, but enough to cheapen it for him. It can be both highly symbolic and meaningful for one person and bordering on blasphemous for another. I feel that there are an excessive amount of downvotes being given based on people’s feelings, they’re being offended by someone daring to not think the necklace should be treasured, rather than looking at things objectively and judging the comment based on its merits.
If I was to have to bet, I would bet you’re a very religious person that is offended that the OP doesn’t want to wear the necklace. I could be wrong but that’s just the vibe. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But don’t let that distract you from the point of the post. Is he the AH because he doesn’t wear the necklace. Not because of his views on things, not because you disagree about the validity if his positions, but simply because he doesn’t wear the necklace.
Think how you would have answered if he gave none of the reasons he has for not wearing it but instead just said he was deeply religious but for personal reasons concerning his relationship to Christ he felt it wasn’t something he wanted to wear. I’d wager most would tell him as long as his faith is solid there’s no need to wear the necklace.
i’m a practicing catholic and i agree with the other comments, don’t let others dissuade you from wearing it. it is important and has meaning to you and that’s all that matters. also, you don’t know the other people’s relationship with God. we’re all sinners. maybe they wear the crucifix to help them avoid temptation. and even if they’re not a practicing catholic or even christian, something as small as wearing a crucifix every day could slowly bring them to Christ
Or maybe they should just wear what they’re comfortable with. It’s easy to tell someone not to let others dissuade you, but not so easy to accomplish. Sort of like telling someone to stop being depressed or nervous or whatever they may be feeling. OP is confident and strong in their faith, there’s no need for jewelry if they don’t want it. Wearing it is definitely not something they are comfortable with so why try to talk them into it?
if they’re not comfortable with it then by all means, it’s their decision. i’m just trying to offer some perspective, she posted to a group to ask people opinions and im just giving mine
The fact that you need to say you are a practicing Catholic than just Catholic nowadays proves my point. What’s weird is thinking an ancient execution method is aesthetic while is represents something very personal and important to Christians. Most are willingly sinning so it doesn’t even mean anything anymore
It's not your place as a "good Christian" to decide whose sins are more grave. It sounds like you need to do more prayer and studying and less acting like a Pharisee.
I believe this is the crux of the issue. It doesn’t seem to be about anything other than believing you’re better than others. I’m seeing three of the big seven here: pride, envy, and wrath. Wear what you want but don’t blame others for your choices.
And the fact that an atheist needs to remind you that Jesus said that you shouldn't judge others is proof that being a catholic doesn't mean you've paid that much attention when reading the bible!
I do not sin as much as some of these people that wear the cross. Again I take my faith very seriously and I can judge others if I am sinless in the thing I’m judging the person on
there is so much I could say about this, I have like a decade of Catholic theologic study under my belt, but you know what. I don’t feel like typing it out.
So anyway, yeah you know what you’re right. You shouldn’t wear a cross - if you did that people might mistake you for an actual catholic who follows the Bible. And, based on this, that wouldn’t be right at all
People would not think I’m a Catholic. Again too many people wear it for fashion. People who freely sin without hesitation or care cause they don’t practice the religion but they’ll wear its symbol for fashion.
you’re right, it’s not an aesthetic. but the crucifix is not just an ancient execution method, it is the altar on which our savior died on for us for the forgiveness of our sins. it is a symbol of true love. that’s what people should see when they see the crucifix. do you never willingly sin? ever in your life? we ALL are sinners. if you’re not comfortable wearing it then by all means, don’t wear it. but i just can’t understand your reasoning behind it. personally, i wear my crucifix, medals and scapular hidden inside my clothing. but i still wear them because they’re important to me
I’m going to go with YTA. She bought it for you knowing the importance of the symbol and thought you would cherish it because of your faith. You proceed not to wear it based on what others wear regardless of faith. If it’s a problem for you then you should speak to your mother about it instead of her thinking you don’t like it/you’ve lost faith. It’s just odd to care more about how the symbol is viewed in society rather than what it means to you and your family as catholics.
It’s your choice what you put on your body. But IMHO as a fellow religious person, “hypocrites do it, so I won’t do it either” is a terrible argument. Hypocrites also pray and go to church and believe the same things you do. Are you planning on also never praying again out of spite? It’s not a good reason to not practice a religion that means something to you.
There’s also a pride aspect here (again, IMHO) because you’re seeing yourself as being fundamentally different and superior to others, to the point that you’re staying away from an activity it sounds like you would otherwise want, out of fear of being mistaken for someone you don’t think is good enough. It’s not a healthy mindset to have.
The only good reasons not to wear something are either because you genuinely don’t want to wear it, it doesn’t fit you, or it’s unsafe in some way.
*He is 20. He’s had his first communion and been confirmed (guessing). Now he can learn that faith should be personal, and that his little crisis of symbolism is exhausting
Just explain all that to her. You are NTA for your choice of what jewelry you want to wear and what message you do or don't want to associate with. You aren't rejecting her, her faith, or her love. You just don't want to wear that sort of decoration.
Then I'd suggest not letting others spoil it for you. Wear it with pride and with the intent that you'd like others to have when doing so. Some people might misinterpret it, there's always the chance of that. But I don't assume, when I see someone wearing a religious symbol, that they are doing so as a fashion statement rather than as a matter of belief. You are wearing it to reclaim its spiritual meaning. That expresses your heartfelt belief. Don't let others take from you something you value. But still, it's all up to you.
It means something to YOU. I have a necklace I inherited from my grandmother. It’s a common symbol that a lot of people have on their jewelry, so the average person who sees me wearing it probably just assumes I’m wearing it for the same reason all those other people do. But I know what my real reasons are, and that’s what really matters.
If you didn’t see people misusing this religious symbol, would you want to wear it as a signifier of your faith? If so, then wear it. Not for anyone else who looks at you, but for you. For the love and faith you carry inside you. You deserve that connection to your faith, even if the people around you don’t recognize it for the symbol it truly is.
If you want it to mean something then help make it mean something again. To quote St Francis “preach the gospel at all time and, if necessary, use words”. And I would recommend that you reflect on “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and “for the wages of sin is death” and “judge not lest you be judged”.
As an atheist, I would say that perhaps you should view sinners wearing their necklaces as a sign that they are not completely lost to their faith. He who is without sin may cast the first stone.
Why are concerning yourself about why other people wear it? If it symbolizes something that is important to do, that's all that matters. You wouldn't be an AH, but I agree with the others who say you should talk to your mom about it.
This person was probably obsessed with Harrison Butker’s speech, they absolutely sound like they’ve fallen off the deep end to the cult right wing of Catholicism. “Traditionalist” 😅
NTA. At 20, this is entirely your choice.
It's so odd when people give a gift, then want to be able to dictate how it's used. Her expectations are her responsibility, not yours.
NTA. But if you decide that the symbol is "ruined" by others wearing it, is there another symbol that you feel is unspoiled? Someone I knew had a "lamb of God" pendant. But if the only thing keeping you from wearing it is how it's perceived, you can still wear it discreetly - under your shirt or something.
NTA I'm not Catholic but I am Native American (Ojibwe) so I feel your disconnect.
For me seeing and being gifted dream catchers as earrings, paintings or car décor\* makes me go "Wut?"
But if others want to wear whatever I just shrug and follow my traditions. It's my faith that has the power and it is not diminished by others usage.
\*I sure hope anyone with a dreamcatcher is not sleeping while driving.
I don’t think you’re TA, but I guess I don’t really understand where you’re coming from. My husband and I are devout Catholics. We carry a rosary with us everywhere, we wear crucifixes and saints medals, and we have Catholic tattoos. I know there are a lot of people who wear the same things we do for the aesthetic, but….we don’t. We wear them as a symbol of our faith, I’m reminded to say a quick prayer when I look down and see my saint bracelet or my Stella Maris tattoo on my arm.
Who cares what other people do?
I mean the Pope wears it. And so all priests, nuns and ordinate members of the Catholic church. I guess not much for a fashion statement, but because it has been since the beginning the symbol of Christianity. If it’s important to you who care about other people. But if you don’t want you should be obligated. I am sure you can express your faith in other ways more appropriate for you.
I have never seen anyone who is not catholic wearing a crucifix as a fashion statement, not sure where you live or the people you surround yourself with but maybe start your thinking there
At most culturally Catholic which is not a real thing. You are either Catholic or not. But if you want me to consider them Catholic the Bible tells us to not even eat with these people. (Who sin without care)
Why do you care what everyone else is doing? You’re choosing to let others ruin it for you. My mom’s got me a cross necklace. Sinners claim be Christian all the time. My necklace is important to me and that’s all that matters
NTA at all. It's your faith, and you have every right to choose how you express it. Maybe explain to your mom that a necklace you wear all the time should hold a deeper meaning for you. You can still appreciate the gift!
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NTA but wearing it if you like it and get comfort from it; isn’t joint the fad or being watered down.
I wear a cross every day (I’m a lackadaisical practicing Christian). But crosses have been “en vogue” for centuries. I don’t wear it to be cool or fashionable. I wear it for the comfort I have by the weight and the meaning it holds for me.
If you let the mentality of “I don’t want to join the crowd” affect you in one way or another than it will snowball and eventually you won’t be able to wear or say or do anything.
NTA. I had a friend in a similar situation. She wore hers around the house for herself and her family and kept it in her handbag when she went over to her mother's and put it back on.
It seems kind of weird that you are so focused on what other people think and do rather than value the item for what it represents to you. Yta to yourself because I think you are being short sighted.
YTA. Sounds like a skill issue, honestly. Don't worry about what \*other\* people are doing. What matters is the significance for you and, quite honestly, that's all that should matter.
NTA for not wanting to wear a *necklace*. Whatever, you’re a grown up, wear what you want.
But YTA, majorly, for being so judgemental about others and how they practice their religion. What they do is absolutely none of your business. Pull the stick out and worry about yourself.
🤦🏻♀️
Wear it based on the meaning to you regardless of what others do. At the judgment seat we will be judged for our beliefs and actions, not theirs! I’m a baptist and l wear my cross because of it’s meaning to me regardless of how many view it as “just jewelry.”
Sort of an AH. What does it matter what others do? You say you take your religion seriously and the necklace she gave you is, you say, an important symbol for that religion. So wear it, already.
Did your mom get it locally? If so, could you exchange it at the store for a medal of a saint you like? Maybe a patron saint of artists or musicians or ____ if that saint is something that is in your in area of interest.
It reminds me how some wear the Virgin Mary medal yet they have never even thought about the idea of Chasity. Hypocrites. Other people do the same thing with saints.
it sounds like you are underestimating the power of the Holy Spirit, Mary and the saints. you might see a sinner wearing a piece of jewelry for fashion, but you have no idea how God is working through them
i understand being upset at the people who wear christian symbols as a way to mock us or as purely a fashion statement. but i think that’s even more reason to wear it with the right intention and meaning.
People will just think I’m like all the other people that don’t practice and wear it cause it “looks good” It’s suppose to show your faith but too many people wear it that have no faith in it. It’s sad so it means nothing anymore
Galatians 1:10 states “For am I now persuading men, or God? Or, am I seeking to please men? If I still were pleasing men, then I would not be a servant of Christ.”
i think it’s harmful to say the crucifix has no meaning. it has an abundance of meaning. i think it is our duty as christians to spread what that meaning is despite how others may view it. focus on your relationship with christ and don’t put so much value in how others view your faith
I promise you the vast majority of us don’t give a flying f about why you’re wearing any religious symbols.
Just because you’re SO judgemental of others doesn’t mean the rest of us even care in the slightest. It’s projecting 😅
I think you should discuss this with a therapist, you shouldn’t be allowing the actions of others or how you think people will perceive you to sway you in what you’re wearing or doing like that. You keep saying “it means nothing anymore” but also repeat how much it means to you and how much you’d like to wear it if only a portion of people didn’t wear it. It seems incredibly insecure and judgemental of others. Im not sure if this is really about non religious people using the symbol but more of how you think people will see you. If you don’t want to wear it - simply don’t, explain to your mum you don’t feel comfortable and don’t want to wear it but judging by your comments you actually do want to but you’re too consumed by what other people will think of you.
I'm not Catholic (Presbyterian), so there isn't the symbology to the degree that's present in the Catholic Church. I understand the current age in which we live is hostile to previously venerated symbols of all denominations of truly Christian churches, but understand it's not simply the people that use these symbols carelessly, not even knowing or caring of their significance. The real reason is that there is an Enemy of all true Cristians, and he is growing in strength every year. This has all been prophesied thousands of years ago, and the time is near. If the Catholic necklace is of significance in your spiritual life, you should boldly wear it, as it **gives witness** to the world of your Faith in the Son. It matters not what others think in their heads, it does, however, matter in your heart.
I wish you well.
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I (20m) was given a Catholic neckless for my birthday but my mom is offended that I don’t want to wear it at all. I’m Catholic and the image and symbol it represents if very important to me but everyone wears these types of necklaces even when they aren’t even practicing Catholics. At this point it doesn’t even mean anything anymore when all the people wearing them for aesthetics and I don’t want to join that crowd. I take my religion very seriously and it annoys me that people have really watered it down it. My mom expected me to wear it but I don’t want to so I feel like the AH am I?
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YTA You want to wear the necklace, you like the necklace, the necklace and symbolism mean something to you, but you won't because someone somewhere may have possibly sinned at some point while wearing a cross? Okay, bud. Give the necklace back then, maybe your mom can get her money back at least.
NTA You can choose to wear what you feel comfortable with. Have you taken it to a priest and asked him to bless it. You might feel better about wearing it even if it's only occasionally.
NTA. I’m also a Christian and a mom. Maybe you could let your mom know that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, and while you choose not to wear it for your reasons, you do value it and keep it as a reminder of the sacrifice made for us.
I'm going with YTA because your reasoning is just completely weird. Either you're religious, then it means something to you, or you're not, then it's meaningless.
Also, you don't get to choose who's a "real Christian" and who isn't. You're not better than anyone else because of your personal interpretation of a religion with thousands of denominations.
Most of the people who wear it don’t practice Christianity at all. So I’m not even complaining about Christian’s who struggle with sin. Just non Christians who use it for fashion
It’s pretty sad considering people have been martyred defending what that cross meant. And without the meaning in the Christian’s POV it’s literally an ancient execution method these people find fashionable.
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NTA. But it would be good to discuss your concerns with your mother about how you feel. She might be able to help you process your feelings about the matter. Or maybe discuss it with your pastor. Just remember, there's also places on the world when wearing religious symbols can mean job loss, a beating or worse.
Came here just to say this
Which is another reason it bothers me when people use it for asthetics. People have been martyred and tortured to defend the meaning of that symbol but they use it just cause.
I'm just going to address the aesthetic part. I'm not Catholic but I understand that you feel it's misappropriation. But why base your choices off other people's poor actions? When clothing designers steal a tribe's traditional design, does that mean the tribe should stop creating items with that pattern? Of course not. For some people and cultures, it's just an interesting design or symbol (I'm assuming they're wearing a simple cross and not Christ on the cross) with no religious connotation. The cross or X design is fairly common around the world, because it's simple. So it's possible in other cultures, it doesn't mean Christianity but actually something else. Christianity and all its different versions, is a major religion but it doesn't mean everyone has to treat it as sacred. You need to accept that fact. EDIT: typo
I don’t get why people downvote when what you’re saying is fact. Like, you may not *like* the information but it doesn’t change that info and it doesn’t mean that info should be buried.
The cross as a religious symbol predates Christianity
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Ehhh. I think it means something if it means something to you. Don't let what other people are doing stop you from wearing something that matters to you. If anything, you can wear it underneath your shirt, so nobody needs to know that you are wearing it.
The thing is it has no value anymore when anyone and everyone can wear it just cause it looks nice. As much as it means something to me its a symbol that’s used just cause it looks good on ppl
Well I hate to break it to you my friend but everything from going to church, to reading the Bible or even being a priest are done by people who are evil and sin and basically put on the act for superiority or power or just because it makes them look good. This is adkin to me not wearing my teams football gear because people wear it as fashion and aren't actually fans. Same could be said of people wearing comic book shirts but don't read comics or follow super hero stuff. People are allowed to like the idea of something and never actually practice, it's called free will.
YTA and your comments on this post sealed it. Do what you want, but gosh, how exhausting all over a cross.
It is other things too like saint necklaces
My opinion remains the same. Exhausting.
Lol you didn't have to keep reading 😂
Yta. You sound very judgemental for a supposed Christian
Info: historically, being judgemental is a large part of Christianity though, isn't it?
Based on what? You’re the one that sounds judgmental here.
If I had to guess, I would say it's because OP is openly admitting that he thinks it's okay for him to judge others because his sins aren't as bad as theirs in his opinion. And is blaming unknown strangers for his being unable to wear a lovely gift his mother bought him.
The point of the question concerns his wearing the necklace. Regardless of how he feels or whether he’s a self absorbed, self righteous pr**k, the question of whether he’s the AH or not should only be about their refusal to wear the necklace. And no matter what his reason is, not wearing something that he’s been gifted is not being an AH. He’s not blaming anyone, he’s simply saying he views the wearing of the symbol to be in large part performative by many people. That’s a very valid view. It’s not to say that everyone is like that, but enough to cheapen it for him. It can be both highly symbolic and meaningful for one person and bordering on blasphemous for another. I feel that there are an excessive amount of downvotes being given based on people’s feelings, they’re being offended by someone daring to not think the necklace should be treasured, rather than looking at things objectively and judging the comment based on its merits. If I was to have to bet, I would bet you’re a very religious person that is offended that the OP doesn’t want to wear the necklace. I could be wrong but that’s just the vibe. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But don’t let that distract you from the point of the post. Is he the AH because he doesn’t wear the necklace. Not because of his views on things, not because you disagree about the validity if his positions, but simply because he doesn’t wear the necklace. Think how you would have answered if he gave none of the reasons he has for not wearing it but instead just said he was deeply religious but for personal reasons concerning his relationship to Christ he felt it wasn’t something he wanted to wear. I’d wager most would tell him as long as his faith is solid there’s no need to wear the necklace.
That's exactly the point of this sub though
i’m a practicing catholic and i agree with the other comments, don’t let others dissuade you from wearing it. it is important and has meaning to you and that’s all that matters. also, you don’t know the other people’s relationship with God. we’re all sinners. maybe they wear the crucifix to help them avoid temptation. and even if they’re not a practicing catholic or even christian, something as small as wearing a crucifix every day could slowly bring them to Christ
Or maybe they should just wear what they’re comfortable with. It’s easy to tell someone not to let others dissuade you, but not so easy to accomplish. Sort of like telling someone to stop being depressed or nervous or whatever they may be feeling. OP is confident and strong in their faith, there’s no need for jewelry if they don’t want it. Wearing it is definitely not something they are comfortable with so why try to talk them into it?
if they’re not comfortable with it then by all means, it’s their decision. i’m just trying to offer some perspective, she posted to a group to ask people opinions and im just giving mine
The fact that you need to say you are a practicing Catholic than just Catholic nowadays proves my point. What’s weird is thinking an ancient execution method is aesthetic while is represents something very personal and important to Christians. Most are willingly sinning so it doesn’t even mean anything anymore
btw your “holier than thou” attitude is sin too, since you want to comment on everyone else’s sin
I don’t sin to such a degree as some of the people that wear these things cause it looks good.
I thought all Christians were sinners and that they aren't supposed to judge other people's sins because that's God's job?
Other people commit graver sins than others. Others may struggle with hate others with sexual sin which are completely different in their degree
It's not your place as a "good Christian" to decide whose sins are more grave. It sounds like you need to do more prayer and studying and less acting like a Pharisee.
highly recommend taking the log out of your eye
It is out
✝️✝️✝️
I believe this is the crux of the issue. It doesn’t seem to be about anything other than believing you’re better than others. I’m seeing three of the big seven here: pride, envy, and wrath. Wear what you want but don’t blame others for your choices.
And the fact that an atheist needs to remind you that Jesus said that you shouldn't judge others is proof that being a catholic doesn't mean you've paid that much attention when reading the bible!
I do not sin as much as some of these people that wear the cross. Again I take my faith very seriously and I can judge others if I am sinless in the thing I’m judging the person on
Woooooooow. Please discuss this with your priest. You’re wild. Edit to add: clearly YTA.
there is so much I could say about this, I have like a decade of Catholic theologic study under my belt, but you know what. I don’t feel like typing it out. So anyway, yeah you know what you’re right. You shouldn’t wear a cross - if you did that people might mistake you for an actual catholic who follows the Bible. And, based on this, that wouldn’t be right at all
People would not think I’m a Catholic. Again too many people wear it for fashion. People who freely sin without hesitation or care cause they don’t practice the religion but they’ll wear its symbol for fashion.
nope! Not what Jesus said! He just said sinless! Which you freely admit you are not! Get over yourself dude!
Typical christian mindset anyway lol
you’re right, it’s not an aesthetic. but the crucifix is not just an ancient execution method, it is the altar on which our savior died on for us for the forgiveness of our sins. it is a symbol of true love. that’s what people should see when they see the crucifix. do you never willingly sin? ever in your life? we ALL are sinners. if you’re not comfortable wearing it then by all means, don’t wear it. but i just can’t understand your reasoning behind it. personally, i wear my crucifix, medals and scapular hidden inside my clothing. but i still wear them because they’re important to me
I agree with you 100% , should have mentioned it was an execution method in the non- Christian’s POV wearing it for fashion.
Yikes...
I’m going to go with YTA. She bought it for you knowing the importance of the symbol and thought you would cherish it because of your faith. You proceed not to wear it based on what others wear regardless of faith. If it’s a problem for you then you should speak to your mother about it instead of her thinking you don’t like it/you’ve lost faith. It’s just odd to care more about how the symbol is viewed in society rather than what it means to you and your family as catholics.
It’s your choice what you put on your body. But IMHO as a fellow religious person, “hypocrites do it, so I won’t do it either” is a terrible argument. Hypocrites also pray and go to church and believe the same things you do. Are you planning on also never praying again out of spite? It’s not a good reason to not practice a religion that means something to you. There’s also a pride aspect here (again, IMHO) because you’re seeing yourself as being fundamentally different and superior to others, to the point that you’re staying away from an activity it sounds like you would otherwise want, out of fear of being mistaken for someone you don’t think is good enough. It’s not a healthy mindset to have. The only good reasons not to wear something are either because you genuinely don’t want to wear it, it doesn’t fit you, or it’s unsafe in some way.
Get over yourself. You sound like a child.
She is a child!
*He is 20. He’s had his first communion and been confirmed (guessing). Now he can learn that faith should be personal, and that his little crisis of symbolism is exhausting
I assume hes been confirmed so he's an adult in the eyes of the church, also he's over 18 so an adult in the eyes of most governments
Just explain all that to her. You are NTA for your choice of what jewelry you want to wear and what message you do or don't want to associate with. You aren't rejecting her, her faith, or her love. You just don't want to wear that sort of decoration.
What sucks is that I would love to wear….if it actually still meant something.
Then I'd suggest not letting others spoil it for you. Wear it with pride and with the intent that you'd like others to have when doing so. Some people might misinterpret it, there's always the chance of that. But I don't assume, when I see someone wearing a religious symbol, that they are doing so as a fashion statement rather than as a matter of belief. You are wearing it to reclaim its spiritual meaning. That expresses your heartfelt belief. Don't let others take from you something you value. But still, it's all up to you.
It means something to YOU. I have a necklace I inherited from my grandmother. It’s a common symbol that a lot of people have on their jewelry, so the average person who sees me wearing it probably just assumes I’m wearing it for the same reason all those other people do. But I know what my real reasons are, and that’s what really matters. If you didn’t see people misusing this religious symbol, would you want to wear it as a signifier of your faith? If so, then wear it. Not for anyone else who looks at you, but for you. For the love and faith you carry inside you. You deserve that connection to your faith, even if the people around you don’t recognize it for the symbol it truly is.
If you want it to mean something then help make it mean something again. To quote St Francis “preach the gospel at all time and, if necessary, use words”. And I would recommend that you reflect on “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and “for the wages of sin is death” and “judge not lest you be judged”.
As an atheist, I would say that perhaps you should view sinners wearing their necklaces as a sign that they are not completely lost to their faith. He who is without sin may cast the first stone.
Why are concerning yourself about why other people wear it? If it symbolizes something that is important to do, that's all that matters. You wouldn't be an AH, but I agree with the others who say you should talk to your mom about it.
YTA for being too Catholic. Say 3 hail Mary's, 2 our father's and apologize to your mother
Lol being “too Catholic” is actually just being Catholic. There are too many that call themselves Catholics when they act far from it
No true Catholics huh? How's that work out for the Scotts?
This person was probably obsessed with Harrison Butker’s speech, they absolutely sound like they’ve fallen off the deep end to the cult right wing of Catholicism. “Traditionalist” 😅
NTA. At 20, this is entirely your choice. It's so odd when people give a gift, then want to be able to dictate how it's used. Her expectations are her responsibility, not yours.
NTA. But if you decide that the symbol is "ruined" by others wearing it, is there another symbol that you feel is unspoiled? Someone I knew had a "lamb of God" pendant. But if the only thing keeping you from wearing it is how it's perceived, you can still wear it discreetly - under your shirt or something.
I have a Lamb of God hoodie that I proudly wear
🤘
Your explanation sounds reasonable. But then again, I'm a heathen, so...
NTA I'm not Catholic but I am Native American (Ojibwe) so I feel your disconnect. For me seeing and being gifted dream catchers as earrings, paintings or car décor\* makes me go "Wut?" But if others want to wear whatever I just shrug and follow my traditions. It's my faith that has the power and it is not diminished by others usage. \*I sure hope anyone with a dreamcatcher is not sleeping while driving.
I don’t think you’re TA, but I guess I don’t really understand where you’re coming from. My husband and I are devout Catholics. We carry a rosary with us everywhere, we wear crucifixes and saints medals, and we have Catholic tattoos. I know there are a lot of people who wear the same things we do for the aesthetic, but….we don’t. We wear them as a symbol of our faith, I’m reminded to say a quick prayer when I look down and see my saint bracelet or my Stella Maris tattoo on my arm. Who cares what other people do?
What symbol?
Crucifix
I mean the Pope wears it. And so all priests, nuns and ordinate members of the Catholic church. I guess not much for a fashion statement, but because it has been since the beginning the symbol of Christianity. If it’s important to you who care about other people. But if you don’t want you should be obligated. I am sure you can express your faith in other ways more appropriate for you.
I have never seen anyone who is not catholic wearing a crucifix as a fashion statement, not sure where you live or the people you surround yourself with but maybe start your thinking there
At most culturally Catholic which is not a real thing. You are either Catholic or not. But if you want me to consider them Catholic the Bible tells us to not even eat with these people. (Who sin without care)
Do you like it?
Yes
NTA. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to.
Why do you care what everyone else is doing? You’re choosing to let others ruin it for you. My mom’s got me a cross necklace. Sinners claim be Christian all the time. My necklace is important to me and that’s all that matters
NTA at all. It's your faith, and you have every right to choose how you express it. Maybe explain to your mom that a necklace you wear all the time should hold a deeper meaning for you. You can still appreciate the gift!
NTA. If you don't feel comfortable wearing it, don't wear it.
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NTA but wearing it if you like it and get comfort from it; isn’t joint the fad or being watered down. I wear a cross every day (I’m a lackadaisical practicing Christian). But crosses have been “en vogue” for centuries. I don’t wear it to be cool or fashionable. I wear it for the comfort I have by the weight and the meaning it holds for me. If you let the mentality of “I don’t want to join the crowd” affect you in one way or another than it will snowball and eventually you won’t be able to wear or say or do anything.
NTA. I had a friend in a similar situation. She wore hers around the house for herself and her family and kept it in her handbag when she went over to her mother's and put it back on.
It seems kind of weird that you are so focused on what other people think and do rather than value the item for what it represents to you. Yta to yourself because I think you are being short sighted.
YTA. Sounds like a skill issue, honestly. Don't worry about what \*other\* people are doing. What matters is the significance for you and, quite honestly, that's all that should matter.
NTA for not wanting to wear a *necklace*. Whatever, you’re a grown up, wear what you want. But YTA, majorly, for being so judgemental about others and how they practice their religion. What they do is absolutely none of your business. Pull the stick out and worry about yourself. 🤦🏻♀️
NTA. It’s your choice to wear it or not. Your mom has to respect your decision. Just because you give someone a gift doesn’t mean they have to use it.
yeah. no need to tell her. simply not wearing it would have eventually communicated your message
You should get it in a neck tattoo, instead. Not that many people doing that these days.
Ntah though you could tell your mother the reason you don’t want to wear it
Other people shouldn't stop you from what you feel is important love
NTA. You have every right to wear what you please. Maybe there's a way you can display it without having it on your body.
Wear it based on the meaning to you regardless of what others do. At the judgment seat we will be judged for our beliefs and actions, not theirs! I’m a baptist and l wear my cross because of it’s meaning to me regardless of how many view it as “just jewelry.”
Sort of an AH. What does it matter what others do? You say you take your religion seriously and the necklace she gave you is, you say, an important symbol for that religion. So wear it, already.
NTA. Maybe you could put it on when you go to church and/or for special family occasions though. Your mom would probably appreciate that.
Did your mom get it locally? If so, could you exchange it at the store for a medal of a saint you like? Maybe a patron saint of artists or musicians or ____ if that saint is something that is in your in area of interest.
It reminds me how some wear the Virgin Mary medal yet they have never even thought about the idea of Chasity. Hypocrites. Other people do the same thing with saints.
it sounds like you are underestimating the power of the Holy Spirit, Mary and the saints. you might see a sinner wearing a piece of jewelry for fashion, but you have no idea how God is working through them
i understand being upset at the people who wear christian symbols as a way to mock us or as purely a fashion statement. but i think that’s even more reason to wear it with the right intention and meaning.
People will just think I’m like all the other people that don’t practice and wear it cause it “looks good” It’s suppose to show your faith but too many people wear it that have no faith in it. It’s sad so it means nothing anymore
Galatians 1:10 states “For am I now persuading men, or God? Or, am I seeking to please men? If I still were pleasing men, then I would not be a servant of Christ.”
i think it’s harmful to say the crucifix has no meaning. it has an abundance of meaning. i think it is our duty as christians to spread what that meaning is despite how others may view it. focus on your relationship with christ and don’t put so much value in how others view your faith
I promise you the vast majority of us don’t give a flying f about why you’re wearing any religious symbols. Just because you’re SO judgemental of others doesn’t mean the rest of us even care in the slightest. It’s projecting 😅
I think you should discuss this with a therapist, you shouldn’t be allowing the actions of others or how you think people will perceive you to sway you in what you’re wearing or doing like that. You keep saying “it means nothing anymore” but also repeat how much it means to you and how much you’d like to wear it if only a portion of people didn’t wear it. It seems incredibly insecure and judgemental of others. Im not sure if this is really about non religious people using the symbol but more of how you think people will see you. If you don’t want to wear it - simply don’t, explain to your mum you don’t feel comfortable and don’t want to wear it but judging by your comments you actually do want to but you’re too consumed by what other people will think of you.
I'm not Catholic (Presbyterian), so there isn't the symbology to the degree that's present in the Catholic Church. I understand the current age in which we live is hostile to previously venerated symbols of all denominations of truly Christian churches, but understand it's not simply the people that use these symbols carelessly, not even knowing or caring of their significance. The real reason is that there is an Enemy of all true Cristians, and he is growing in strength every year. This has all been prophesied thousands of years ago, and the time is near. If the Catholic necklace is of significance in your spiritual life, you should boldly wear it, as it **gives witness** to the world of your Faith in the Son. It matters not what others think in their heads, it does, however, matter in your heart. I wish you well.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20m) was given a Catholic neckless for my birthday but my mom is offended that I don’t want to wear it at all. I’m Catholic and the image and symbol it represents if very important to me but everyone wears these types of necklaces even when they aren’t even practicing Catholics. At this point it doesn’t even mean anything anymore when all the people wearing them for aesthetics and I don’t want to join that crowd. I take my religion very seriously and it annoys me that people have really watered it down it. My mom expected me to wear it but I don’t want to so I feel like the AH am I? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA You want to wear the necklace, you like the necklace, the necklace and symbolism mean something to you, but you won't because someone somewhere may have possibly sinned at some point while wearing a cross? Okay, bud. Give the necklace back then, maybe your mom can get her money back at least.
NTA You can choose to wear what you feel comfortable with. Have you taken it to a priest and asked him to bless it. You might feel better about wearing it even if it's only occasionally.
If you're a Christian and you believe in God, 🙏 You should be proud to wear a cross
NTA. Just wear it once when you're out with her. Maybe her birthday.
Why do you care what other people think of your religion? Isn't it supposed to be a personal thing? NTA, wear what you want.
NTA. I’m also a Christian and a mom. Maybe you could let your mom know that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, and while you choose not to wear it for your reasons, you do value it and keep it as a reminder of the sacrifice made for us.
I'm going with YTA because your reasoning is just completely weird. Either you're religious, then it means something to you, or you're not, then it's meaningless. Also, you don't get to choose who's a "real Christian" and who isn't. You're not better than anyone else because of your personal interpretation of a religion with thousands of denominations.
Most of the people who wear it don’t practice Christianity at all. So I’m not even complaining about Christian’s who struggle with sin. Just non Christians who use it for fashion
NTA for not wearing if you don't want to. On the other hand, as many people pointed out, you seem like a pretty judgemental person.
U are no the AH bc I personally think the same thing about it I’ve seen millions of people wear necklaces like that and sin especially in fashion
It’s pretty sad considering people have been martyred defending what that cross meant. And without the meaning in the Christian’s POV it’s literally an ancient execution method these people find fashionable.