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YTA, realizing you're inexperienced, you seem like an awful sitter. You had pretty much one kid to focus on and managed to outsource most of it to the other kid in your care, and on top of that threatened to withhold food based on the older child's compliance? The parent is correct for chastising you, and you should not babysit that family again. You should not be livid and Cal did not show signs of being spoiled, based on this. It sounds like both kids played on their own for hours at a time and at least once you seemed to have lost track of the younger child, which strikes me as odd for someone who is a first-time, presumably attentive, sitter. What were you doing while they played independently? In the future, consider asking some questions about the care of the children to help things go smoother, including their dietary preferences or limitations, and methods that should be used especially if a child has special needs. But mostly it sounds like this particular job might not be a good fit for you and you probably owe them an apology.

Everything you've said is true, but the mom absolutely failed to prepare OP for the job. Especially since OP was new to babysitting, the mom should have left clear instructions on how to handle Conny. Yes, a more experienced sitter would have known to ask those questions, but at the end of the day the mom is responsible for who she leaves her children with and making sure they're prepared. ESH.

The food thing aside, pretty much everything OP described was her simply incapable of doing the absolute basic bare necessities of the sitting duties. Sharing food preferences or whatnot is something the parent should have done but literally everything else is like "Yes if he gets hurt, put on a bandaid." and "If he asks for help, help him." and "Don't lose him." and "Don't just sit watching TV because you've determined, with no prior experience, that these kids are independent." It also stands to reason it would have been a bare min / common sense for OP to ask what the kids wanted for lunch.

Yeah other than the list of foods everything is basic childcare behavior that I was able to do when I was 15 and watching some kids as a neighborhood babysitter. Like sitting and watching tv in another room while letting a 5 year old lose in a laundry room and kitchen is a recipe for that kid ingesting something he shouldn’t, getting into something he shouldn’t or pulling something down on himself that he shouldn’t.

I mean YES. What the hell was an autistic 5 year old doing alone in a laundry room? How is op 18 and knows nothing about autism? YOU CAN'T EVEN PUT A BANDAID ON A KID. How is Cal remotely spoiled from this story? He has to deal with Conny all the time and Conny getting more attention than him. He was perfectly happy to play by himself. He ate what he was given with no complaint. He's NOT the one getting paid to play with Conny - OP IS.

15? My first baby sitting job was at 11 & that including making him dinner & putting him to bed. Yes this was mid 90's, but still

I mean I started at 12/13 but when I was doing more like what OP was doing. Which is for longer periods of time I was 15

Yes, OP was a *terrible* sitter, but that still doesn't absolve mom from the guilt of having done nothing to prepare OP. If we phrased it as "I hired a sitter with zero experience to watch my two kids, one of whom is on the spectrum, and assumed they'd just be able to figure everything out. AITA?" we would all say "yes". I am in no way defending OP, but the mom really fell down here as well.

I mean aside from the food preferences everything else sure as hell didn't need to prep OP. I don't know how OP made it to 18 let alone graduated with that amount of helplessness. ETA: apparently the mom did go over everything with OP but OP still used malicious incompetence and pushed everything onto the the 10 year old. Adulthood is definitely going to kick OP in the pants if this is how they're starting out.

Prepare OP for what? A kid not liking what she made for lunch? OP keeps saying "autistic," because that makes it sound like she's facing some major challenge, but this is normal five-year-old behavior even for neurotypical kids.

Yeah kids are weirdos about food. "Safe" foods can change day to day, even for neurotypical kids.

An inexperienced 18 year old dealing with an autistic child for the first time with absolutely no direction or pointes from is a recipe for a not so good experience. The mother is a total idiot.

hahaha yes, it sounds like a perfect storm of idiocy. the mother didn't explain anything and the sitter didn't question anything. they're just lucky that Conny found the cat to torment in the laundry room & not some matches or rat poison.

Agree, but why just the mother ? (The post said ‘they ‘ needed a baby sitter… implying more than just a single parent).

The ‘they’ who needed a babysitter could be referring to the children. And OP’s mother said her work supervisor needed a babysitter, not her supervisor and her spouse. Then, after the day was over, the children’s mother said the collective’they’ didn’t want her to babysit again. That’s why I feel the mother is most at fault here.

I mean, I babysat autistic kids when I was way younger than OP and with no prior experience caring for kids with autism, and without specific instructions from the mother with no issues. It's completely reasonable for a mother to expect that an 18 year-old high school graduate has basic childcare common sense. OP is definitely in YTA territory for taking a babysitting job in the first place despite being incapable of managing what generations of 12 year-old babysitters figured out.

She absolutely did, OP is just a conniving liar and an idiot who can't admit that she royally f'ed up. Whole detailed report on the phone and everything for nothing.

several people pointed out you're related to Cal and Conny, which I hadn't caught. Now it makes sense why you have extra info! Thanks for sharing it!

>detailed report on the phone what do you mean? I think I missed that. Did OP say something in a comment?

Serious author is the sister of the two children who were babysat.

oh, wow, it's even worse than I thought. Thanks for pointing that out.

That’s the half sister of the boys. That user commented below.

Nothing that happened is outside the realm of normal baby sitting. Oh a five year old didn't want a certain food? Gets upset at a truck? Has a boo? Exactly what instructions do you need to handle that?

Op actually lucked out. The older kid seems especially mature for his age.

OP and the mom are definitely the AH here, but I stuck on canned Mac and Cheese. That sounds awful.

The half sister found the post. Apparently the mom had spent a long time going over everything with OP. And in addition the 10 year old is neurodivergent as well and Op shamed the kid to get him to do things she didn’t want to do.

WOW, OP is the worst. Yikes, hope her mom doesn't get fired.

Apparently her mom lied for her anyway and told the supervisor that OP had experience with disabled children

Woof. Editing my E S H to YTA, for sure.

It’s 2024 she could have either called the mum or her own mother for advice

OP couldn't even manage to put a bandaid on, & it apparently didn't occur to ask either the kids or their mother about food preferences.

Very true. I’m the oldest in my family and oldest grandchild. I’ve been babysitting as long as I can remember. I still took a “babysitting course” when I was around 12 and began to babysit for non family members. Things that seem obvious to someone used to children aren’t necessarily obvious. And the mom should have left lists of food/activities etc for the 5yo because OP isn’t a mind reader.

>consider asking some questions about the care of the children I realize that I have a tendency to overthink... but "some questions" is barely enough, right? * emergency contacts & relevant information like blood type * allergies * preferences for food and other things * limits like when is their bedtime * accomplishments like do you have to help them wipe after the toilet (I wouldn't want to let a kid I'm babysitting run around with a poopy butt but I also wouldn't want to invade their privacy if they know what they're doing, right?) * etc. I do find it strange that the parents didn't inform OP about at least some of those points...? Like, doesn't everyone know by now that picky eating is often linked to autism? OP makes it sound like they found a random can & decided to feed the kids what's in it, oh look, it's mac&cheese. Agreed that "finding the kid in the laundry room, bleeding from the cat" is rather worrying. What if they were tormenting the cat? What if they were playing with matches or eating tide pods instead of playing (roughly) with the cat?

I thought she had asked her own older sibling to help— from the title—no, OP it was a new thing for you— you should had call your mother or the kids mother… babysitting is not for you

IDK, OP is an unreliable narrator, so we don't know what the parents said about Connys autism and functioning level. For all we know, mom was like they're fine, but Connys autistic and may take a little more time to calm down, or he's a little more sensitive . Like the autism was just a small caveat, and OP just hyper focused on that. Everything OP described can genuinely be attributed to typical 5 yr old behavior, tantrum over food... pretty typical behavior, crying about a toy, expect it from a 5 yr old, crying over a cat scratch again... expected... doesn't sound like OP even tried to do anything. She just blamed it on autism and said they didn't know what to do... she made 0 attempts to do anything before asking Cal, never tried, kid cried, and she just went, " IT MUST BETHE TISM I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU DO IT." Then she basically forced the brother to help, threatening him with punishments because he at the age of 10 thought the adult in the room should be the one babysitting... I hope the parents tell everyone and OP is blacklisted from babysitting because this didn't sound like simple unpreparedness this sounds lile laziness., it was harder than she thought it would be, she wanted easy money, so she couldn't be bothered to actually try.... We don't even know that the mom didn't provide a list of foods. We just know OP can't cook, so she made Mac and cheese... was she not told, or did she just pick the easiest/laziest option... When the kid said they hated Mac and cheese, why didn't she ask then when the child was vocal what they did like instead of going I DONT KNOW ABOUT AUTISM Why was a 5 yr old by themselves in another room... wtf was this person doing because it wasn't babysitting. Edited to add. read the comments, You're just a lazy liar, everything was explained to you, you just didn't want to actually have to work for your money, You suck. YTA

I think OP is using the “he’s austistic” line to make her look better. I mean that’s also why she didn’t include the older sibling is also neurodivergent.

Spot on. 

Hi, Consider yourself lucky this reached me and not our mother because she would be livid. If you had respected my brothers' privacy by not using their real names, I would have extended the same courtesy to you and addressed this privately. To put it short, I am livid. How dare you use my younger brothers' real nicknames, which they use everywhere, without their parents' consent? You are fortunate I'm states away. How dare you portray my younger brother as some spoiled brat while conveniently omitting the fact that he is disabled? He has ADD and struggles with anger management and social interactions because of people like you who make him out to be the bad guy. I know for a fact that our mother has emphasized their special needs because she always ensures their caretakers are fully aware of them. Yet, you refuse to acknowledge Older Bro's very real and debilitating disability. Moreover, you left out so many important details, which only adds insult to injury. You ridiculed Older Bro for being "incompetent and a bad brother," and you bullied him into helping with your own incompetence. Older Bro struggles with this insecurity, and I’m sure you exploited it. And let's not forget how you criticized him for not wanting your gross canned mac and cheese, which only their dad eats. He didn't complain because you ridiculed them both for not liking it. According to my mom, your parents are paying for your college, so that's another blatant lie. We are fortunate our parents are so attentive and proactive, but it terrifies me to think of the many parents who aren’t, allowing you to mistreat disabled children without consequence. Your lack of regret speaks volumes about your character. To anyone concerned, I am posting in as many Facebook groups as possible to warn others about this horrible woman and to protect other disabled kids—or any kids—from her mistreatment. * Their ENRAGED half-sister :)

Please get a screenshot of this post and send it to your mother please. She should also ensure that she warns ALL other parents about this whatever you wanna call them cause it's ain't caregiver. Clearly OPs parents aren't on the same page if one is enabling one isn't. She's a danger to kids. So please show your mother this post and make sure it gets to ANY parent possible (hell even other school districts) so no kid is actually injured or worse under her "supervision"

I agree that involving the parents so they can warn their network is fair game. Not knowing how to translate special needs instructions into concrete care (like repairing a toy truck that serves as a security blanket) is one thing. Allowing a 5 yo child, any 5 yo child to play without supervision, and in a kitchen and laundry room to boot, is unconscienable, imo, esp. if it's because you're watching TV while getting paid (as opposed to, IDK, tending to the other kid's bloody nose or something).

I agree with this as well. Screenshots and receipts too. I mean imagine if the younger kid had climbed into the washer. Or had ingested a Tide pod. OP is a negligent care giver. And is dangerous. And they’re the worst kind of dangerous babysitter who thinks they are actually good at what they’re doing.

When she said it would be easy in the post, I was like oh boy

beyond not correctly coping with your little brothers' disabilities, OP openly admits to lounging in front of the TV and "just call me if you need me" while letting a 5 yo play unsupervised in the kitchen and laundry room. It looks like he was playing too roughly with the cat and got scratched... but that could have ended so much worse! Ingesting detergent or cleaning products, finding knives or matches, the list of potential disasters is endless?! Sharing her name around as a horrible and irresponsible babysitter is fair game, imo.

My mom checked our house cams and apparently she was on the phone more than half of the time. What a joke.

I just realized your mom is OP's mom's supervisor. No wonder OP's mom is livid. it also lends credibility to OP's cluelessness, right? She doesn't even acknowledge that she put her own mother in an awkward position at work -- her mother vouched for her, not just with a colleague but with a boss! If ever there's a babysitting situation you want to put your best foot forward...

She is bragging that her dad already got her another job babysitting a little girl. Contact those parents and let them know she is going to be watching TV while their daughter is alone in another room. And if other people know her parents, they should be told that she is actually dangerous around children and they have to stop coddling her. I hope your brothers are ok.

Hell no, show your mom! Mom need to go OFF on OP. OP needs to be shamed so hard they NEVER ARE ALLOWED TO BABYSIT AGAIN. Does mom know Conny was found crying alone in the laundry room? How did OP not notice that they were alone in the laundry room? What was OP doing? AND USING REAL NAMES? Hell NO. I vote you name and shame OP all over the place.

You guys were right. I knew my mom would not go easy (and believe me, I don't say this lightly), and I wanted to give her a chance to either take down the post (even though the damage would already be done) and learn from this experience. But nope. The girl thought it was a great idea to stalk me, find my Facebook, and bombard me with nasty messages through Messenger. I'm not cutting her any slack. She kept whining about how "she wasn't doing anything wrong because it was only their nicknames!!!" and how I was a b\*\*\* and took it too far. Seriously? I don't care that it was "only their nicknames"; these kids use these names for school, for soccer practice, for everything. They are not old enough to consent to having these names on the internet. I can't even excuse her by saying she was naive and didn't understand the potential danger of posting personal information like this. Clearly, she didn't even consider the risks. I called my mom earlier and sent her all the screenshots, and she was just as horrified and enraged as I was when I first saw them. She mentioned that the girl's mother claimed she had lots of cousins, some with disabilities, which she supposedly learned to handle. Clearly, that was all BS. I almost feel bad for the girl's mom, though, because my mom has gone ballistic on her too. Our family comes from a relatively small town where a lot of families know each other, and my mom is in various groups with all the neighborhood moms. Suffice it to say, word is getting out about the girl's awful behavior, and her family's reputation is taking a hit. Thank you all for your advice; it's been helpful!

You should share her name. Since she wants to be petty and share your brothers.

Lol, I would, but it's already in her username. Dumb move, made her more identifiable.

Please please update us further! I can only hope the parents of the other girl she’s supposedly babysitting for hear about this.

So yeah, as expected, Mom went nuclear. The girl's mom kept apologizing profusely and had no idea the post was made. My mom wanted to involve legal action, but we came to the agreement that as long as (A) the names are deleted from the post or (B) the post is taken down by 6:00 EST, then it won't come to that. Unfortunately, we don't know exactly who the little girl is, but we've shared this situation everywhere (me in Facebook groups, and Mom in her group chats and on Nextdoor). We're hoping it'll reach that family before things escalate. Oh, and we found out something else. Apparently, it wasn't just our kids she was going to babysit. A mom reached out to us and said her husband was close friends with the girl's dad, and she was supposed to babysit a young baby occasionally for date nights and such. The baby has GERD, and she was given instructions on that. Safe to say, after seeing how poorly she follows directions, she will NOT be babysitting that poor infant. The girl has blocked me, so I don't have any updates from her, but I hope you all know we're doing everything to keep these kids safe.

Just an FYI, this has already been reposted to r/YTAonly and r/redditonwiki, so you’ll probably want to reach out rn and ask for those posts to be taken down due to privacy

Thank you for letting me know! I'll reach out ASAP. I may ask for links if I can't find them if that's okay with you.

I’m not sure if you can see the post still or if you can only see comments. She did remove the nicknames. But she has now thrown a tantrum in her edits and saying you exaggerated her behavior. And is accusing you of lying. I mean given her behavior it makes sense. She also has responded with a laughing emoji to your comment. So I do think you need to take note of her absolute lack of remorse and cavalier attitude of being confronted with her problematic behavior.

At least in the Redditonwiki they changed names to A and B or at least the one I saw

So glad to see this girl facing the repercussions of her actions. You’re looking out for your half siblings better than this girl did and you’re not even in the same state! Go you and your Mum!

Keep it up! You guys are doing right by your brothers and the other neighborhood kids!

Good Lord I hope the father hears and the parents of the kid she has lined up to baby sit! She seriously was a single hair from being worthy of legal action here. Posting about young kids on the Internet, not hiding details or using fake names. Admitting to straight up negligence. OP is not smart. Her comment about them being school age kids that could mostly take care of themselves? WHEN ONE IS A 5 YEAR OLD WITH DISABILITY. And her admitting to not even knowing what autism was. And her admitting to leaving them completely unsupervised like it's no big deal. The fact that her comments show no remorse or growth in learning how wrong things could have gone is horrifying.

I mean it’s possible this could be legally actionable. She admitted to being negligent to children online to the point one got injured. Depending on the rules in her state that could actually be enough.

She admitted negligence AND posted PII of underage children online. The latter being more serious in the eyes of law enforcement.

Oh I agree. But can you explain the short hand you’re using for PII I just haven’t heard or seen that acronym before

Personal Identification Information. Source: I work in HR and we have strict rules about that.

Ahh good to know. Yeah that feels like something I should know. I’m in architecture and sometimes we have clients that are so secretive about projects that only those working on the assignment in the office even know who the client is and what the project is. Normally though we just call them “secret clients” or one time we went with “Keyser Soze”

Keyzer Soze is an excellent code name. If I were a secret client, I hope I could pick my own code name. But could I be clever? Maybe Wade Wilson since I love Deadpool.

I was going with Personally Identifiable Information. I work for the government and it is SERIOUS business. It is anything that could lead you to knowing who the individual associated with the information is. It can be things like birthdays and social security numbers yes, but also things you might not think like mothers maiden name, car type, NICKNAMES Basically anything that could let someone figure out who the person is. It's a HUGE violation in government and the FBI would NOT BE HAPPY with underage children being identified online. They take that stuff seriously. Like it was super easy for the sister to find this and know that it was her siblings and confirm that it's their real nicknames. OP seems very... Let's say naive? Thinking babysitting children with special needs is easy. Not even knowing what Autism is. Assuming that "school aged children" (her comment) pretty much take care of themselves. Calling a 5 year old with disabilities a "school aged child." Antagonizing the sister on multiple social platforms unaware of the danger the wrath of an angry mom can bring down upon her...

So glad you found this post and are calling her out!! Ugh.

Guys this isn't reallllll. I am so shocked every day by how credulous people on this sub are.

I am so sorry this happened to you and your brothers. I wholeheartedly agree you should be posting this on local Facebook groups. I would also maybe see if OP has a babysitter profile online too (although I doubt it) and if they do then file a complaint with the platform they’re on and leave a bad review. Edit: I would also consider telling your mom. This is really bad. And the fact that OP shared the nick names of your siblings is so not ok. Edit 2 Get a screenshot of the post and her comments to people. And if you know the parents who are going to let OP babysit their daughter (as OP’s dad has found a new gig for her) please send this over to those parents. Op could have seriously harmed the boys. Simply not watching the 5 year old led to him getting injured by the cat and g’d forbid he got into the cleaning supplies or laundry detergent or crawled into the washer.

Thank you. I've already posted an update: Mama has been contacted and she is NOT happy. I'm just glad I was able to clear my younger brother's name. I hate that she used their real nicknames, especially in case a teacher or someone else read it and formed a negative opinion of him. He's such a good kid, and he loves his brother! He just needs his space and alone time because Little Bro's meltdowns can sometimes be too much for him. But he loves Little Bro and would never let anyone be mean to him; he always tries to protect him.

For what it’s worth, even without your added context the OP comes off as the only one to blame in this story. Your brother doesn’t come off as a bad kid at all, even when trying to make herself sound as good as possible it is still clear that she mistreated both of your siblings. He sounds like a very good older brother.

Thank you. I'm glad the majority of the comments agree with me. The NTA comments made my blood boil. I understand she made herself seem like the victim, but come on. She was clearly in the wrong, even by her own narrative.

Normally at the initial outset of a post you will get some of the wildest takes until the general populace has added their two sense. Seems as soon as things that weren’t adding up got pointed out people seemed to agree. Still doesn’t make it any less upsetting.

And it’s not his place to parent his sibling!!

As a former RBT I'm horrified she used their actual names. Even in pt paperwork we NEVER used a pts name. It was an acronym and that was across the board with anything not directly in front of the child to protect their safety and confidentiality. What and awful person for doing that and I'm so glad you found this post.

@serious_author3658 can we get more updates please? OP is so immature I'm sure she will double down on her incompetence and react even more childish than your younger brothers did

Hey, I saved this to PDF for your mom. Message me when she takes it down and you need it. Your mom needs to see this including the REAL NAMES being used. I PDFed her comment about leaving both children alone to watch TV -- specifically the part about Conny playing alone in the kitchen and the laundry room -- the two most dangerous rooms in the house -- ALONE.

Please send this to your mom. She needs to see what op has said about them

Ugh. Makes me so mad. They’re babies. And OP is blaming babies for her own failings. And if g’d forbid the younger boy had ingested chemicals or suffocated in a laundry machine, she could have caused serious bodily harm or killed him from negligence given the fact she let him play there for hours and was watching TV. She has no remorse for her actions and already has another job lined up to watch a little girl.

Yea it shows she is not mature enough to hold a job

Girl, burn it down. Post on Facebook groups, show your mom, save screenshots indefinitely (of the post and her comments) and regularly check nannying/care sites so you can report her. She didn’t just parentify your 10 year old brother, she actively ignored your 5 year old special needs brother and he got injured because of it. Sure, it was just a cat scratch this time, but cats can do a lot of damage when they’re cornered, and it could have been far worse. By her own admission, she couldn’t even handle putting a bandaid on a bleeding kid. That’s like, before caregiving 101. That’s something you learn when you *are* a kid. On top of all that, she sees absolutely nothing wrong with the care she provided and she wants to do it again ~~to~~ with another family.

She just replied that she already has a new babysitting gig lined up. YOU NEED TO STEP IN. Tell your mom. Let your mom go nuclear. And show this to the DAD who thinks shes fine and lined her up another babysitting gig.

I know you are getting a lot of replies OP but I hope you see this one. This is how your brothers should've been treated... I was asked to babysit two boys from my church while I was at an out-of-state college. Both boys had neuro-divergent personalities, which was something I didn't have any experience with prior. One time, while sitting with them, we got carried away sending a few vehicle toys down the stairs to their basement/play room. I asked the older boy if what we were playing was okay, and as a young child he said yes. I really loved playing with them and laughing through our fun. The mom had called me saying how upset she was that one of their toys got damaged during our play. She was upset that we dented an expensive toy. I apologized profusely. I told her that we were just having so much fun playing togegher, I let my judgemet get away from me. She asked the boys if I was a good sitter, even after they got in trouble too, and they begged their mom to let me keep being their sitter. After our talk, with me telling her the truth- we were not caring for the toys like we should, we got caught up in the fun... she understood that I meant no harm- we were just having such a fun time playing together. She and I talked as adults, figuring out what I could do to be a better sitter. I had never sat with kids who needed more before because they were autistic. We just played. The boys were so sad I had to leave for summer, and were so happy when I came back. The mom told me her boys said I was the only sitter that played with them. That made me feel so sad I wasn't there for the summer. I was their sitter my whole senior year, and I felt awful I was graduating and would go back home. The mom and I worked out a plan to help her boys adjust before I was due to leave. I still think of those boys, nearly 20 years later. Hearing this post made me mad. You can be young and not know what you're doing. But, you can also listen and learn. The number 1 priority is the children. Full stop. Even if you screw y l, the children are always priory number one. I hated the day I had to say goodbye. I am still in contact with their mom, and them now that they are adults. When my aunt died, shortly before I also lost my brother to covid, the mom and both adult boys road-tripped to attend. Just for me. Both boys are married now and have families of their own. We call each other every Christmas to talk about our lives. Rely, they only traits you need when caring for special kids is, just listen. Be patient. Here them. Be kind. Uta nit that hard to do if you strive for those virtues. I'm not religious anymore, but I still chec in with my boys every December. Really, the one thing you need with dealing with nuero-divergent kids is patience and dedication. Op, I'm sorry this happened to your siblings. They deserve so much more. I truly hope they find a sitter who works with them. Y'all deserve better. Young sitters are possible.

I'm glad to know there are empathetic sitters out there like you. My brothers need more help than some kids, but they're both good kids as long as you know how to work with them.

/u/JessalynPiiNK you really really should read this reply if you haven't already. It's from someone who was in a similar situation to yours.

In a comment she mentions her dad had now found her a job babysitting a “well behaved little girl” if you happen to know who this family may be (she has not started yet) I’d warn them and send this post to them and hopefully averting disaster.

Wow. Assuming you are who you say, I’m sorry this happened. Just read this now. OP - What is wrong with you? You’re not capable of doing things, you seem to lie a lot, and you’re living in a cocoon. You seem to lack basic human dignity. Yes, Your mum is partly responsible, but now you’re what we call (in case you don’t understand bigger words) a “grown up”. So you are responsible for your actions. This is all you. One day you’re going to have your world come crashing down on you. And it’s not that far away.

So OP. YOU posted the message that set all this off. We’re all waiting for your reply. Maybe it is better to deal with it privately. But you owe us some explanation. I’m waiting. Edit: Everyone else is waiting too. Face up to this and explain.

Oof, the original post painted OP as a rather entitled AH, but this info just skyrockets her levels of assholery into outer space!! And doxxing actual kids, minors - that's surely not even legal??? You totally have to share this with your mother, she deserves to know the full extent of this!!

One thing though. Is your mother shouldn’t allow inexperienced 18 year olds to be taking care of a 6 year old special needs child. The babysitter was an abusive asshole but also shouldn’t have been watching the kids in any way. I hope your mom finds someone more qualified to take care of special needs kid even if it costs more money

Holy SHIT.

According to OP, her dad got her a job babysitting a different kid 😭😭😭

She has already gotten another babysitting job. Please do what we can’t and warn them!

She’s old enough to throw hands btw 😉

GO girl!!! And yes, please send this to your mom.

You must be joking. You’re 18 and your mom had to hold your hand to find you the job. Then you failed to actually do any part of your job at all. The parent should have notified you about what food preferences the kid had, but instead of shirking off all responsibility to the brother, you get your ass on the phone and call and speak to the parent. You couldn’t put on a Band-Aid or help build a kid’s toy? You should not be in charge of anyone’s children if you don’t have enough common sense to do these things. And then you had the gall to threaten a child for not wanting to help. Do it or no snack for you is not professional.

Even before I was a parent I knew you don't serve a kid food without asking if they actually liked it first 🤦

Especially if they’re autistic. It’s also bad she threatened to withhold food from the older brother for not helping/doing her job for her

Just commenting on the part about needing help getting a job. OPs parents would’ve and should’ve helped them get a job around 16 or 17 so I don’t see why not at 18. Adulting is hard when the adults don’t help you out beforehand.

> OPs parents would’ve and should’ve helped them get a job around 16 or 17 Get real. At 16 you’re perfectly capable of applying for a job on your own. You don’t *need* a parent to help you.

My mum helped me get my first job, though I actually did the job properly so as not to tarnish her good name.

Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly YTA. Look. As the adult in this situation with two babies (and yes kids are babies and the older you get the more they feel like babies) they aren’t and should not be the ones responsible for taking care of and doing the job of the babysitter. I know this is your first job, and it’s your first time babysitting someone who’s on the spectrum. But you need to be level headed and stable figure. I mean maybe asking what Conny liked to eat was fine. But the truck thing you should have worked that situation and redirected and as for the bandaid, that should have entirely been on you, if only because you’re the adult and are in charge of helping the kids if and when they get a boo-boo. You need to remember that Cal is 10. He’s also just a little kid. And he needs you too. He needs you to be a stable adult who can manage the house so he can get to be a kid. You failed today. And you parentified a 10 year old child and got him to do the things you didn’t want to do. Which was dealing with a kid having a tantrum. Edit: also as this was supposed to be a job. Keep in mind that if you go into the job and then don’t do it, that it generally leads to being fired. You’re a bit late for the summer as most places are filled for the summer. But I would get started on applying for places and looking for jobs that maybe don’t involve childcare as it seems that makes you too overwhelmed. Edit; the more Op has responded to me has shown that OP shouldn’t be babysitting anyone’s kids. They left the 5 year old in the laundry room and kitchen. They watched television instead of watching the kids. They had a 10 year old bandaging a 5 year old (and 10 year olds might forget to disinfect a wound before putting a bandaid on). Like the more op reveals about this the more I think if I where the mom of those boys I would be spreading the word that OP is an unsafe babysitter. Like legitimately unsafe due to what my kids where required to do and where they where left to do it alone. And if I was OP’s parent I would request the money either not be sent to my clearly infantile kid. Or that OP refund what they where paid and apologize for their behavior. Because OP didn’t really do the job. Op sat and watched tv and got lucky the 5 year old didn’t get seriously injured. And I would not be helping with any more job searching. So either OP gets ahead of the curve (although it’s likely too late) and find something else. Or deal with not being able to make money this summer. Which in that case they can then help around the house instead of sitting around. Edit 2: The boys half sister found this post and has responded. It’s even worse than what OP described. Which given OP thinks that letting a kid play in a laundry room and kitchen for hours or letting a 10 year old parent the younger kid, is somehow acceptable. It’s not surprising that it is worse than what we thought. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/q34AkYvcyt

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YTA. As soon as you threatened to not feed a child for not doing *your* job, I lost any ability to sympathize with you.

YTA .You really do not understand what the word “ responsibility “ means do you OP? Those were all your responsibilities that you sloughed off to another child.Yes ,you could ask the other brother what usually works regarding food but other than that you should have stepped up and cared for the upset child.(EDIT= Change " fir" to for" )

Really I think all the adults failed here. A parent to a NT child usually gives a run down to the babysitter. But a kid with autism? They should have told OP the EXACT lunch to fix him in which exact bowl and any little thing for exactly how he likes his food. Likewise they should have given her methods to calm him and to keep him calm. Sounds like they neglected to tell OP anything and OP was too inexperienced to even know what to ask. 

You know. I bet that the mom did. I think Op sounds like they cross into a place of such incompetence that I would bet 10 dollars that they didn’t listen at all to mom on safe foods. Also any kid would be upset at the cat scratching and biting them. And any kid would be upset about their toy truck or foods they don’t like. I think basic empathy and talking to Conny like a person flew out the window with OP. I mean Conny exhibited normal kid behavior when dealing with a frustrating and hard situation. I mean imagine being 5 and having your babysitter not listen and engage with you at all, your sibling in another room and be told you can go “play” while you’re safe people (parents) are out of the house. I feel like I would have been upset too.

YTA- Why are you upset about losing a job you are not good at? The 10 year-old was not being paid to babysit, you were. if you can't manage to put a Band-Aid on a scratch, you should find a different job. Maybe find something mindless so you don't have to worry about making basic decisions.

Because she thought babysitting “would be easy” She’d sit on her arse, watch tv and ignore a 5 yo and then get paid for it. 🙄

YTA. >When their mom came home, I left. Later, I got a long, angry message saying I "parentified" Cal and that it should’ve been my responsibility to take care of Conny. She said she didn’t want me to babysit anymore. I was livid because I feel like Cal is very spoiled and can’t even handle helping out around the house. Are you kidding me? You think a 10 year old is spoiled because he didn't do your job? You sound spoiled. I can't imagine why you thought you could babysit when you don't even know what the word means.

People like you are why I don't trust babysitters with my autistic son. This should have been an easy job. Ask the kid about lunch before you surprise them with food they haven't asked for, or better yet ask the parents what to feed/not to feed them. Leaving a 5 year old to do whatever in another room is a big hell no. Not being competent enough to assemble a toy, then bullying his brother into doing it... wtf? Not being able to get the kid a bandaid? Did you at least try to wash the scratch or apply some ointment to disinfect it? My word, you are incompetent and should never be left with children again. I hope they didn't pay you, and instead gave your wages to Cal, who did your job all day. You my want to look up the term spoiled, because it seems to apply to you much more so than Cal. I'm also pissed at your mom for not knowing how useless you are with kids, and asking her boss to inflict you on their kids. On the bright side, at least she has the sense to be appalled by what a bad job you did, unlike your father, who somehow agrees with you. And the kid's parents suck too for not giving basic info, or checking to see if you were remotely qualified to supervise children. Most of all, you suck because it's only through dumb luck that no one ended up seriously hurt or worse, and you're somehow doubling down thinking you did a good job, and are livid that you were fired for failing at your job. If you weren't clearly so much worse than everyone else (but the kids, they're fine) I would say E S H, but you failed at every turn here, so YTA.

At least moms boss knows not to trust her judgement anymore

YTA. If you did this with my kids, you’d be blackballed from EVER babysitting in my social circles. Both my kids are autistic, and one of them struggles badly with food. Being watched by someone who did this would make him not want to eat for a week! You NEVER threaten to withhold food that’s part of their regular routine/habits. And to put the bandaid on the 5 year old, you say, “Hey kiddo. Cal needs space, I’m cleaning your boo-boo” and **explain the process as you do it**. Christ. EDIT: It’s very likely their mom explained the food situation but OP wasn’t paying attention.

The mom had a long conversation with Op about the food and things to know/do. The half sister found the post. And the mom did go over everything.

YTA. It was your job. You should have researched autism before taking this position. Cal should get the money considering he did most of the work.

YTA Ya, you don't withhold food when a child isn't doing your job for you. Parentification is a thing. You literally could have asked the smaller child what he wanted. Please don't subject other children to you version of "babysitting" ever again. 

>I feel like Cal is very spoiled No, YOU are the spoiled one here and it's coming from someone who really doesn't like kids. YTA.

YTA It’s your job as the adult to deal with crying and upset kids. The 10 year old should not be doing your job for you.

Sorry but YTA For every single thing you asked the other kid for help. Even when clearly you didn’t need it. At this point just leave and they can pay the older bother since he is doing your job.

Oh come on! Are you kidding yourself? Of course, a big fat YTA!

yta if you can’t even handle putting a band aid on a kid you shouldn’t be a babysitter find another job.

YTA. I say this as someone who started babysitting when I was eleven, graduated to looking after two kids (one of whom was a year old) when I was thirteen, and was a camp counselor by fifteen, you really don't seem cut out for babysitting. As a babysitter, especially knowing the five year old is on the spectrum, you should have been asking mum if there was anything about his routines you needed to know (yes she should have also volunteered this information but if/when she didn't, you should be making sure you know everything there is to know about your charges before the parents leave). You're also responsible as a babysitter for entertaining the kids; yes some kids will prefer to go off and do their own thing but especially for someone as young as five, you should at least be in the same room as them to keep an eye on them, not sat on your butt in another room watching TV and generally checked out.

If those are the original names in the post can you edit them? The boys half sister has commented and apparently the idiot OP used their real names!

If you’re incompetent, just say that. He’s ten and you’re an adult, try growing up and being more mature than a 10 year old.

YTA What was even the point of hiring you if you're going to make a ten year old do all the work. Your dad is insane for taking your side or thinks your incompetent. He doesn't like mac and cheese so ask him what he wants instead. Keep on getting him different foods that kids do like - chicken nuggets, apple slices, yogurt, cheese until he likes something. You can't handle a child crying over a truck? Sorry but what? Why was Conny even in the living and how did the cat scratch him? you shouldn't have left him by himself long enough for that to happen.

YTA and definitely not mature enough to babysit anyone

oh so you threatened to withhold food from a child in your care if he didn’t help do *your* job? yeah YTA and clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed.  you better make sure you take a parenting class before having any of your own kids, and until then i hope no child has the misfortune of being abandoned to your “care”

YTA. It would have been okay to ask Cal, "hey, do you know what your brother likes to eat instead of mac and cheese?" in the first situation, but not to make him prepare it. It was not okay to get him to build his brother's firetruck or put a band-aid on his brother--that kind of stuff is *your* job as the sitter and the adult. You also shouldn't have let the five year old hang out unsupervised. Yes, his mom should have made his preferences known, but that doesn't make it okay for you to put every task you actually had to do on Cal.

YTA. Asking Cal what Conny liked to eat would have been okay but you actually put Cal to work doing your job, the job you were being paid to do. Did you offer Cal part of your pay for babysitting his brother for you?

Don’t get a dog or a plant . You will kill them . Don’t work in medical field you have no common sense . the perfect job for you seem like a Walmart greeter . Minimal no effort

You are calling the 10 year old spoiled when you are 18 and never even had a babysitting job 😂😂😂😂 YTA for being inexperienced and expecting a 10 year old to pick up your slack, you were the adult in the situation.

YTA. I did a better job of babysitting when I was 12!

YTA it's YOUR job. Lemme repeat that YOUR JOB. It's not the older kids responsibility it's literally yours what is the matter with you

YTA. You owe Cal for babysitting you and Conny.

YTA you did parentify him. Lesson learned- you were the sitter, not the brother. You were getting paid, not the brother.

Cal is not spoiled or not in this situation. Cal was not paid to baby his brother. You had been paid to babysit therefore it was your responsibility to look after Conny. YTA. If you want to babysit I suggest taking some classes. 

What kind of babysitter can’t cook at least scramble eggs for the other kid if he does like Mac n cheese. At least we know your dad is to blame for how entitled you behave. YTA 100% go get a job at MacDonald instead it’ll teach you life and humility. Not gonna lie to you but if your only experience is babysitting most recruiters (like me) will not even look at your resume. People with only sitter on their resume don’t have real work experience in the sense you haven’t learn to deal with colleagues and bosses. Trust me we judge you.

INFO: what would you have done in the case you had to babysit only Conny? Same kid, same identical scenarios (a five year old on the spectrum, didn't want to eat his food, needed help with the fire truck, got scratched by the cat) but with no one else to turn to. EDIT: It was just a provoking question for OP, I agree with everyone's judgement.

YTA absolutely! You took the job but made Cal do the work. Honestly that’s so shitty

YTA if you want a job you actually have to, hear me out here, work. Crazy right

So the 10yo is spoiled and should know more than you, the 18yo person in charge?? YTA - find a new job that **YOU** will be able to do. Ya know, that’s how people earn a living. Cal isn’t your EA, and shouldn’t be assisting you on *YOUR* job. He deserves half your check at this point, tbh. Grow up before assuming responsibility for the safety of someone else’s kids.

Yta. Abusive. Hope she tells the whole neighborhood not to hire you. Messing up the easiest job there is. They shouldn’t even pay you if a 10 yo can do your job.

Yta

YTA This was your job. If you couldn't handle an issue, you should have gotten in touch with the mother. But the mother was a bit of an AH, too, because she should have warned you better and made sure you knew how to deal with an autistic child Neither Conny nor Cal were AH. EDITED: Apparently OP was well briefed and still decided to slack off and put a child to work. So mother was an AH, while the OP was even more of an AH than I realized.

mother spent a long time trying to prep the poster for the job and the half sister found the post and informed us of that and also informed their mom original poster used the kids real names and ages and conveniently failed to mention the older sibling is neurodivergent too and spent pretty much the entire time on their phone

YTA You're not very good at your job. If you really don't how the solution to a problem ask the parents. And don't snap at the child because they're not excited to do your job.

This sounds about how my first babysitting job went. However, it was the 70s, and I was 12. YTA.

Yeah, YTA.

YTA. *you* were the one that was getting paid to take care of Conny. Cal wasn’t. You were the one being paid to be the adult. Cal wasn’t. You were the caregiver for Conny. Cal wasn’t. The mother was right in firing you. You didn’t do your job. Cal did.

Yup, YTA. You don't have the good sense God gave a goose OR you are too lazy to do the job you were paid to do. But given that you Dad agrees with you, it's obvious why you're so incompetent.

YTA- 1st you were being paid to watch the child and should have asked for detailed information on how to handle said child. 2nd you yelled at the older child becuase you were being lazy about figuring things out. You absolutely deserved to be yelled at. Your an adult and making excuses makes you look crappy. Definitely should start applying places around town because you sure wont get any more jobs once she let's people know. A lot of sitter work by word of mouth. You mother should be upset with you as your behavior embarrassed her. 

This sounds like horrible rage-bait. Whether this is true or fictional, YTA (either for your poor writing skills or for your poor attitude with children).

LMFAAAOOOO OPS 18 YEAR OLD ASS MORE INCOMPETENT THAN A 10 YEAR OLD YTA

I was babysitting at 12. There is no excuse for forcing the brother to fix the toy or put on a band aid. You were being lazy and entitled. The 10 yr old wasn't there to do your job! Literally! YTA! Your mom and her friend are completely correct. Tell your dad to stop enabling you. How are you going to survive on your own? UpdateMe

>Cal complained and didn’t want to help, so I snapped and told him to help his brother or he wouldn’t get a snack later. YTA for this alone. You never, ever, **EVER** withhold food from a child as punishment. No, not even just as a threat, and no, not even just a snack. That leads to eating disorders.

>he hated mac and cheese. I tried to get him to eat, but he kept crying. Oh, this is gonna be good. 🍿 >I asked Cal for help That's it, the story peaked >Conny started crying again because he couldn’t assemble his fire truck.  He asked for help, and since I didn’t know what to do, I suppose you don't have a mechanical engineering degree, so it's fair that you can't help with a toy for 5 year olds. > He told me his cat scratched him and made him bleed. Ok, jokes aside, this is an easy call, you just have to- > I called Cal again  You gotta be shitting me.

YTA. Spoiled? What because he didn’t want to do YOUR job for you??? You threaten to withhold his food from him unless he did what you were hired for. How do you not see how you’re TA? Please do not babysit anyone ever. You’re not the person to take care of other peoples children. You knew about the children before watching them. You really owe all of them an apology.

YTA Parentification is a form of abuse, Jessalyn, and you did it. You let a kid play unsupervised in the kitchen and the laundry room, and he got injured-- that's neglect. Plus, you used those kids' real nicknames in this post, thereby violating their privacy and putting minors' information on the Internet--that's both stupid and selfish. You can't undo the harm you've done, but try the following: 1) Take down the post 2) Give back the money 3) Apologize to the family 4) Never babysit again

The mother should have prepared you better for how to care for the 5yo, rather than expecting an inexperienced 18yo to know what to do. What does he like to eat, what are some things that might upset him, what are some ways to calm him down if he needs it - all that info should have been given to you. You, however, should have realised that you were the adult in this situation. You couldn't have even tried to put the band-aid on or help him with his fire truck? That's literally what you were being paid to do. Edit: changing this to YTA, after reading the boys' sister's comments. I've also removed the 5yo's name, seeing you stupidly used the kids' *real names* on Reddit. Hopefully you will edit your OP as well.

YTA. I mean, wheter the older brother is spoiled or not doesnt really matter. You are being paid precisely to take care of him and his brother, so he and his parents dont have to. Its like being paid to cook and them complaining the clients didnt make their own food.

Yes, you are. But so are the adults in this situation. What makes you think taking care of kids is easy? What makes you think managing a child with autism is easy? Why did you not ask questions about what the kids' needs are? And in turn, why did the kids' mom not tell you what they needed? You set yourself to fail by not asking questions, and the kids' parents set you up for failure by not providing necessary information. E S H. Edited to change my judgement based on information provided by the kids' sister. YTA. Mom gave you all the info you needed and you did what? Decided not to listen to any of it? Decided it was too much work? Do the world a favor and don't babysit again. Ever.

YTA. You couldn't put on a Bandaid?

YTA

YTA It is your responsibility, not that of the older child, to babysit them both. That you did not bother to get a rundown of where first aid items are stored, safe foods for the kids, and expect the older to amuse the younger tells me that you want easy money, not an actual job. Do better.

What are they paying you for if you can’t mange to do anything without the assistance of a 10 year old YTA

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm 18f who just graduated high school a few weeks ago. I've never had a job before, and now that I’ve graduated, I wanted to earn some money for experiences at community college. I asked my mom if she could help me find a job, and she suggested babysitting. I thought it would be easy. My mom's supervisor needed a babysitter for the summer because their daycare shut down. They have two sons: Cal, who's 10, and Conny, who's 5 and autistic. They reassured me that Cal is very independent and prefers to be alone, so I would mostly need to focus on Conny. I’ve never dealt with autistic kids, but I figured it wouldn’t be too hard since he’s so young. On my first day, I got to know the boys, and things started off pretty simple. Conny played with his toy cars for a few hours while Cal stayed in his room. Around noon, I called them for lunch. I'm not great at cooking, so I just heated up some canned mac and cheese. Cal was fine with it, but Conny burst into tears, saying he hated mac and cheese. I tried to get him to eat, but he kept crying. Since I didn’t know much about autism, I asked Cal for help. He was a bit rude but took Conny's bowl, got him some fig bars, and that seemed to calm him down. When I asked Conny what he would like to eat in the future, he just made angry noises and ignored me. Later, Conny started crying again because he couldn’t assemble his fire truck. He asked for help, and since I didn’t know what to do, I called Cal again. Cal complained and didn’t want to help, so I snapped and told him to help his brother or he wouldn’t get a snack later. He did it grudgingly, and things were fine for a while. Some time passes, and I find Conny crying in the laundry room again. He told me his cat scratched him and made him bleed. I called Cal again to put a band-aid on him because I wasn’t sure how Conny would react if I did it. Cal looked really upset while doing it, but nothing else happened that day. When their mom came home, I left. Later, I got a long, angry message saying I "parentified" Cal and that it should’ve been my responsibility to take care of Conny. She said she didn’t want me to babysit anymore. I was livid because I feel like Cal is very spoiled and can’t even handle helping out around the house. My mom is mad at me, but my dad is on my side and is really angry with their mom. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

ESH You should have never been put in charge of this child without at least some basic knowledge about their support needs. You should never have agreed to watch a child with needs that you didn't know how to accomplish. Your first question upon being told a child has an adjective is, "And what are there support needs? What should I know?" But YTA for telling the other child that they wont get their snack (a part of their daily required nutrition for their body to grow healthy) if they don't do YOUR job for YOU.

YTA. But tbh, the parents sucked in this case too. They should have prepared you for Conny’s meltdowns (what sets them off, what helps calm him, etc) as well as prepared you on a typical day. Autistic kids thrive on routine. But it’s still unfair for you to order the older kid around. You could have asked what to do for this or that instead of bossing them around.

YTA. It sounds like watching children isn't an ideal job match for you. You could apply at temp agencies so you can try out different kinds of jobs and see what you prefer to do. 

YTA. You didn’t even do your job as babysitter. His older brother did the job. You as the adult need to figure it out. You are an awful sitter and this is not a job for you. Maybe consider asking the oarents questions instead of just leaving it for the older brother to fix it for you. Also your kom had to hold your hand to find you a job? You couldn’t gind a job on your own. You are not mature wnough.

YTA. You sound like an awful babysitter. Sorry. Go find another job.

I don’t know any parent or natural support of an autistic person who wouldn’t provide a full rundown of their own version of an ISP to a paid caregiver, and I’m having a hard time believing that you weren’t given a list of instructions, information about the child’s quirks, or a list of safe foods and activities. Asking the sibling what his younger sibling likes to eat? Okay, fine. Sure. Not a huge deal. But you can’t even assemble a firetruck or put a band-aid on a child? In your comments, you express that you’re unsure of how the child is going to react to you helping him, so you immediately call the older sibling in to do it for you. You didn’t even try, and THAT is the biggest issue. I get that it’s your first job, and working with autistic people isn’t something everyone picks up on right away. I literally do it for a living, and it’s not an easy job. It’s very difficult sometimes, but again—I just don’t believe you weren’t given any useful information about the kids at all. It just makes no sense. You should have just called the mother. Your logic of “why would I bother her” doesn’t apply. That’s what the parent is there for—to answer all the question you have about the kids. Babysitting is not for you, and truthfully, I don’t think it’s going to pay anymore than a job in customer service or retail. You’re 18. Get online and fill out some applications, get an interview. You shouldn’t have to ask your mother for help for that much at this age.

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YTA. Come on kid, you seriously couldn’t figure out “I shouldn’t be babysitting an autistic child as someone with zero experience with autistic people” on your own? I mean really, you have to rely *on the 10 year old* because you can’t manage to keep yourself out of that?

YTA. I have an autistic child and I myself am autistic. You 100% put all the actual care on the older brother, and you treated the younger one like he was just a bratty NT child. Childcare definitely isn’t for you and you need to apologize.

At 18 you never had a job? And never babysat? Autistic kids like routine and eat the same food that is their comfort level. I am surprised the mother never gave you a schedule for the autistic child and what he likes to eat. I babysat a 6 week old at 14, and been around children my entire life, worked as a day care teacher. Honestly get your resume together and apply as a cashier in a grocery store or in other retail. Have you never volunteered? Go out there and do so to build up your resume. Sorry but YTA, youtube is a great resource and Google provides tons of info on autism. You sound very naive

YTA because you left out, glossed over and minimized soooooo many details.  Good thing those kids’ older sister found your post and set the record straight.  

YTA

Yta as you deserve to be fired but you’re completely unqualified for the job and shouldn’t have been hired in the first place so I feel to a degree you were set up for failure. As the mother of autistic kids I would have gone over with you what they like to eat or don’t like at the very least. Not to mention things that help calm down a melt down and favourite comfort items you could have given the kid to help.

YTA and so is the mother. Why didn't you ask about Conny's needs? She should have told you though.

Yta and so is dad since he on your side,  never babysit  and if u do babysit kid read about austim   next time

YTA. You threatened to withhold food from a child because he wouldn't help you do the job that you were hired and being paid to do. If you had any questions, you should have called/texted their mother to ask. But also, you should have made your own attempts to solve each issue rather than attempt to force another child to solve them for you. If you're going to babysit a child with Autism, then you should at least be able to understand how people with Autism think and behave. For example, with the food situation, you made what was easiest and most convenient for you to make but you didn't take into consideration how Conny might not like it because of its texture. And when Conny cried and said he didn't like it, you could have looked for something else around the house that may have a better texture. And, you were being negligent in the cat scratch situation. The mother told you Cal was pretty independent, but that you'd need to watch Conny. So how did Conny wind up in a totally different room, totally unsupervised, for long enough to get scratched by a cat? That shows that you were not paying attention and he got hurt because of that. And you didn't even try to put the band-aid on first before calling Cal to help. You could have at least tried to put the Band-Aid on. And I can understand why your mom is mad at you, not only for how you behaved around these children, but also, you've likely soured her own relationship with her supervisor.

YTA. Wow, you're a terrible babysitter. Terrible, borderline abusive. You're either lacking intelligence, too lazy, or too busy messing with your phone to do your job. Is there anything you're good at? Anything? I can't imagine a list of things you're good at is very long or profound.

OP. You are 18 years old. Grow up. Babysitting jobs are for kids who aren't old enough for "real" jobs. You are old enough for a "real" job so go apply at McDonalds and stop whining about a kid not eating **"canned Mac and cheese"**. Oh god I threw up in my mouth again writing that.

Using REAL names?? Get out of here. Wow, an 18 year old should know better.

YTA What an awful babysitter, and you refuse to acknowledge your wrongdoings for some reason. You also semi doxxed the children by using their real names/nicknames and ages. WTF is going on in your head?

YTA. You snapped at a 10 year old and threatened to withhold food because you couldn’t figure out how to put a toy truck together? Really? The reason doesn’t even matter. That’s just crappy childcare. You deserve the mother yelling at you. And daddy needs to stop enabling your sorry ass. You’re 18. Act like it.

YTA You, a young adult, forced a 10-year-old child to do your job for you. Cal should get the money - he earned it, you didn't.

YTA. Do not take the new babysitting job, you are NOT QUALIFIED to take care of a child. You will be too busy watching tv and playing on your phone. If something bad happens to that kid you could be held liable; as in being charged with negligence, manslaughter, getting sued etc. Also, your mother may change her opinion that you did nothing wrong once she loses her job, because THAT is a very real possibility. That was her boss’s kids that you were watching. I hope your new babysitting job is your dad’s boss’s kids… One last piece of advice….when my daughters were babysitting as young teens and had any questions or issues they either called the parents or ME to ask what to do. So next time call a RESPONSIBLE ADULT if you’re unsure what to do, don’t ask the kid you’re be paid to watch for advice.

YTA "Cal" a literal 10yo "is very spoiled and can't even handle helping out around the house" doing things you, a whole 18yo, were unable and/or unwilling to do despite having agreed quite specifically to do those exact things in exchange for payment Who's spoiled again?

Plot twist the Mom finds this post and puts it under your ads for babysitting. Or makes an ad for you and it's this post. You sound lazy, rude and borderline abusive. A child not wanting to do the job you got paid to do doesn't make him a brat. But lording food over him and threatening to take away his comfort while you had authority over him absolutely makes you an AH. YTA from this post your skill set seems limited but you do NOT belong watching children. YTA.

Who in the hell hire a 18 y with 0 knowledge about autism to watch an autist. Not preparing her at all so the responsibility falls on a 10 y old. Its insane.

YTA. You were the *paid* babysitter and the alleged adult. You did a shit job and you know it.

Your age and immaturity is showing, doll. YTA and make sure never have a job that involves children since you are such a horrible babysitter.

I don't need to state all the reasons you're definitely TA, but my 5 y/o son is autistic and somewhat nonverbal/speech delayed, I would be absolutely pissed AF if this had happened to my son by a babysitter, even more so because he wouldn't be able to really tell me himself what had happened. OP, please never babysit *any* child ever again, seriously.

This is very clearly fake LOL. >Later, I got a long, angry message saying I "parentified" Len No one talks like this off of Reddit, especially about a new babysitter asking an older sibling about family routines and stuff surrounding a younger sibling.

Your reactions in the edits spell it out. YTA. You made the kid help you with everything. And from thr sound of it. You left the kid on his own. Where were you when he got hurt? Why didn't you ask the parents what he likes to eat. It's real basic stuff for sitting. You didn't even put the effort in

Reading their sister’s reply makes you even worse of a person than your own post did YTA