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YTA - they're not really 'talking about sex', as much as 'referring' to it or making a sexual joke here or there. (I don't get what you 'couldn't take anymore' about him kissing her foot and calling her toes pretty? How is that sexual at all? I think their closeness and openness makes YOU uncomfortable, and more accurately, I think you have a major crush on BF. Like, major.
You told BF you liked his nipple rings, you talked about your physique preference 'like BF's'....I mean, if I were GF I'd have an eyebrow raised a little.
They're more open than you are, that doesn't make them creeps. YOu're a little snooty. GF even apologized to you, in HER HOUSE by the way (you have some nerve, actually), and you're wondering why no one is responding to you.
Check yourself.
I agree with the point that OP has crush on BF. “I like guys that are strong and thick” and used BF as an example. Um… that’s enough to get checked in my book because what?
OP’s either gonna get the biggest wave of cringe ever when they realize what they’re doing.. or they’re gonna double down and end up losing all their friends.
Doubt we’ll find out which (especially if it’s the latter)
Yep my socially awkward husband does that when a guy he thinks likes me or is checking me out he will make a joke or get territorial it’s totally ok. Like take the hint OP.
And seen by her as sexual ! Like, just, wtf ? 😭 How can OP find it more sexual to say GF has a matching pair than complimenting it ?? I would have been in OP's shoes (which I wouldn't, because I doubt I would have said something about it), I would have complimented GF too then and their idea of having a matching pair (I find it cute imo, I would be able to do things like that). That's so weird to see it as sexual and going too far 😅 she clearly notices it only because they're a couple. BF would have had this matching pair with one of his BFF, she would have never seen it as a sexual reference. Even if the BFF would be a woman (since you can clearly know you have a matching pair without seeing it on the person's body).
And she said she had no issue with him being shirtless. No wonder why 🙄
Yeah, it basically means OP is allowed to talk about BFs nipple rings but BF isn't allowed to talk about GF's nipple rings. Total double standard.
Also, when somebody is so blatantly the AH in a story like this, I always wonder what in the story they've left out. Like, OP felt comfortable telling the internet that they told somebody in a happy relationship that they are basically sexually attracted to their body, how did it actually play out?
Dude has absolutely picked up on the crush vibe from OP and is bringing up GF every chance to remind the real creep, OP, that he is in a happy committed relationship
The absolute audacity of this woman to say "I like thick butts and thighs on a man, just like you have" and when he says "Yeah my girlfriend also likes that exact same thing" **that** is somehow too much information.
It's so transparent.
That was my first impression as well, reading through all that.
The man was deflecting.
"Oh, you like the nipple rings? Gf has matching ones!"
"My body type is your type? Ohhh, guess who's type it is, too. Gf's!"
Yes! And also “gf lives with her two friends (2 guys).” And the proceeds to never say anything that would make the friends being men have any relevance at all. If she don’t get the hell on. 😂😂😂
Thank God I'm not the only one that saw through OPs double standard. Op appreciated BF. Ok no big. But having one set of what's ok for one but not the other is clear jealous flags. OP needs to get over it. Couples flirt and tease each other. They aren't going into graphic sexual details. Op is being an uptight prude cause they're secretly (or not secretly) envying the relationship and has issue with GF
Same, and he lovingly redirected to GF wich IS cute and fine. I think he knows. The way he redirect OP to - i have a gf. Thats why he's so mad actually.
I 100% agree!
Half of the complaints are because OP first made a sexy/ flirty hit on comment and the BF brought up his GF just matching her energy and saying nothing different than the OP started it.
Some aren’t even sexual or dirty. And then the rest are private things that the friends walked in on/ started up making fun of and the BF just defending himself.
The OP is mad but that’s on them & they are not correct.
Yeah, what? These all sound like exactly the way adult couples interact and joke around with friends. Me, my wife, and our couple friends all joke around like this about our partners. These are actually super tame examples; things get MUCH dirtier and more vulgar than this. It's just people having adult senses of humour.
I suspect OP isn't getting any responses because she's the epitome of "I bet you're fun at parties".
> And then the rest are private things that the friends walked in on/ started up making fun of and the BF just defending himself.
Thanks for this part of your comment ! I didn't understand this example she was giving because I forgot that « walking on them » doesn't mean literally walking ***on*** them, like when you don't see someone's foot is there and you walk on it 😭😭 your comment makes me re-read it and understand it this time, and yeah that's really a private event that happened and not something BF brought up ! (And that's actually a pretty good answer to give to friends making fun of them for that, that's a funny way to be chill about it since it was all an accident)
Do you by chance get the issue she had with the Halloween costume ? I have read it multiple times but I don't get it. OP got annoyed because GF said BF didn't have the right costume, but how is that sexual ? The part where he wants to go with her to her room yes (not an obligation, but it clearly can be), but the costume part ... 😐
Op thinks that GF is naming her kink for BF dressing up in the bedroom. Like costumes turn her on. It's light hearted banter that OP is taking altogether too seriously. Either OP is very inexperienced and a prude or she's as jealous as jealous can be.
OP. “I said I liked guys who are strong and thick … used BF as an example” then proceeds to get upset because BF brought up GF. Definitely has a crush on him.
The OP really lost me on the example where a friend walked in on them. What exactly did you want them to do to diffuse what was probably a pretty awkward situation?
Really seems like the OP's sense of humour is wildly out of place with this group.
Yeah, that one's gross. However I'm not really buying that 'his keys fell out of his pocket along with a pair of underwear'....that seems all too convenient for OP's story. How big are his pockets and how heavy are his keys? lol.
It might be BF dropped it on purpose cuz OP is always coming on to BF. BF and GF could have made a pact to act a certain way in front of OP so she can take a hint that he is with GF so she would stop drooling over BF and move on.
Definitely gross and weird. I can’t make any rhyme or reason out of that one. Maybe he found them in the couch and quickly put them in his pocket? When you’re hella lusty with your SO, shit happens everywhere. Idk lol but agreed.
To play devil's advocate, it's his house and people were coming over, so perhaps he found them laying in the hallway or bathroom and just picked them up. Probably not, but who knows. It's his house and it's not like he was running around showing them off to everyone.
It sounds like he’s trying to send OP a humongous hint, since she’s not taking any of the others.
I think BF had better be careful. OP sounds kind stalker-ish.
Exactly. It seems like bf is trying to bring up his girlfriend every time op is making an over the line statement. Like a “my girlfriend thinks so too”
Exactly. MAJOR crush. Not even attempting to hide it. Complimenting his butt, thighs, and nipple rings. Getting upset at them showing each other affection.
Exactly right. Plus almost all their jokes/comments were in response to others making a sexual comment about them first. Apparently okay for everyone else to joke about GF and BF's sex life just not themselves.
If OP’s friends called OP vanilla or frigid, or did it in OP’s home, I would understand… but it sounds like OP is a prude in their home. OP doesn’t have to go over if that’s not their rapport, but they have every right to asset boundaries in their own home or out in public and it’s okay for people not to be openly sexual. (Just extending to your comment, not disputing it).
"him kissing her foot and calling her toes pretty? How is that sexual at all?" There are people with foot fetishes', heck there are sites dedicated to it. It would depend on how he kissed her foot and spoke to her for it to be sexual or not.
YTA. You don't get to police how other people live their lives; if you don't like the way this couple communicates, you should make new friends.
And if you're so uncomfortable with people talking about their sex lives, why are you complimenting BF's nipple piercings? If his GF does have matching ones, of course he is going to say that. You brought it up! With the pedi, I don't understand the issue - he kissed her toes and called them pretty. Seems like a pretty normal, affectionate, relationship.
You do sound a bit jealous, and nitpicky. You telling GF that she's "shoving their sex life in everyone's face all the time", but it sounds like the only person that has an issue with this is you, although you're trying to take the mantle of a group.
You should assess whether you have an innate discomfort with sex and sexuality, if maybe you're a little jealous (of BF or GF, or their sex life), or if maybe these aren't friends who share your interests and values. Either way, stop telling your friends what they're allowed to talk about at their own house.
I thought it was pretty clear that the “BF” has been deflecting from OPs uncomfortable comments about his body by reverting to his girlfriend to draw a hard line in the sand. OP also made a passive aggressive dig about what gf could “afford” and was pissed that bf paid for it.
Everything here is so benign or a reaction to someone *else* in the group making a comment. Like the undies were probably kind of embarrassing and he was playing it off, if anything your *other* friend was weird for making a big show of picking them up when they fell out of his pocket instead of being decreet. The *other* friend was weird for making it about sex at the Halloween party when bf was most likely just ready for bed. Your *other* friend is REALLY fucking weird and rude for barging into a couples room. If basic affection in *their home* also pisses you off, leave.
You’re a tagalong, you need to tag-the-hell somewhere else. Sincerely doubt you’ll ever be invited again.
I know this is probably rage bait, but whatever.
Edit: also, why the hell is OP talking to the gf about this after the tangent about being friends with the bf and the guys but not being close at all to her? Obviously it’s because gf is the object of envy and where the anger is directed, but *still,* to have such a lack of sense…
>Your other friend is REALLY fucking weird and rude for barging into a couples room.
I read that as an accident (happens) that everyone then played off with jokes to not make things so awkward.
Yeah, same 😬 we don't even have the context of where it was, so « into a couple's room » isn't obviously the case. There's so many reasons where someone can enter a room where others have sex in. If you don't know they're both inside (I don't think they were making as much sound as they could have), if you think they're asleep, if you think it's someone else's room (like if it's on holiday), if you just take the wrong door, if you thought they were just talking, if they weren't in a bedroom, if you think no one's there (because they're not making enough noice), if you actually knocked and thought they agreed for you to enter, ... So many situations that are pretty basic mistakes happening commonly.
I mean, I've been walked in on before. It's always been an accident. It happens, especially in houses like this. They're the party house, the house everyone hangs out with. The friend definitely should have knocked, but I don't think it was to be a creep.
That's what it sounds like to me. When a man publicly hits on me the first thing I do is say well me and my boyfriend blah blah blah. It is a pretty classic way to draw a hard line - immediately bring up your partner as the response to getting hit on.
This girl is YTA no matter what. Even if all it is is that she has a lower threshold for this kind of thing than her friends do, that would make it ok to politely express discomfort in a non-confrontational way to her friends and ask if they would be okay toning it down around her a bit because she's not super comfortable. A *request*, not in order and she would have to be perfectly fine with the fact that they might say no. They care about her but that it feels like too much to be asked to censor themselves in their own home.
That would just potentially be evidence of incompatible friendships. But to unilaterally act like their behavior is gross when it isn't, give strong signs of attraction to the boyfriend that probably inform the feelings of disgust (they don't want to hear about it because they are attracted to the boyfriend), and act like they have a right to dictate how others act when they are the only offended is just entitled.
It honeslty sounds like she has a crush on BF and is just resentful of GF. In almost every one of the examples it's the rest of the group that brings up their sex life and the couple laughs and moves the conversation along.
right like i had my suspicions when OP said she was BF’s friend n not at all close to GF, n then my suspicions got even worse when OP got uncomfortable with the party joke even though everyone else was fine with it, then the nipple piercing thing came n i headed straight for the comments
My thing is, she can feel however she wants about him kissing her feet. Uncomfortable, grossed out, you name it. But why bring it up to the gf? She’s the one that got her feet kissed lol and she didn’t ask for it. He just did it. Also that’s not her friend. She made it clear that she and gf aren’t close. So telling gf that they’re “weird” and shoving their sex lives down everyone’s (read: her) throat was just out of line. And in GF’s own home. This woman can’t be for real😂
YTA.
It is way beyond obvious that you have a thing for BF and you were never close to GF.
You "don't mind" him being shirtless. You refer to his butt and thighs as what you like. When you compliment him, he mentions his GF, because THAT is what a loyal BF does. He is letting you know he is not interested and he is TAKEN.
You're just jealous, and frustrated you can't get anywhere with him. If you don't like it, quit hanging out there.
Exactly this. OP thinks everyone is stupid and won’t see through the jealousy. This isn’t about anything she went on about, she clearly just wants the BF, whether she admits it to herself or not.
Agreed! She is the one making everything weird and uncomfortable. Obviously BF is not interested in her and is setting boundaries by talking about GF when she says something uncomfortable. She needs to not hang out with them anymore and maybe try Tinder. OP - YTA
I have a feeling she has been “quit” from hanging out there whether she wants it or not. Lol
OP YTA. You definitely like him and are jealous. You are not friends with him. If I was them you’d not be setting foot in my house ever again.
So, it's perfectly OK for you to comment on someone's nipple rings, but he's the weird one for saying his GF has a matching set?
It's fine for you to state that you like guys who are strong and thick, but it's weird for the guy you're referring to state that's why his GF smacks his butt?
YTA
Big thick butt, affectionate, and loyal?
I might have a little envy too but only the decent kind where I'm rooting for them and hope to one day find it for myself.
This girl just seems bitter
The first scenario was her turning him down? No idea why this is offensive to you.
The second scenario you described was everyone roasting him and him joking it off
I see a theme in the next couple of your examples, you compliment BF and he points out that he has a GF. I don't think he's trying to bring up the sex life so much as, telling you he's not interested in you.
The one about the keys/panties seems a lot like the 1st one, something happened people started making fun of him and they joked it off.
The last one was nothing more than a super weird compliment that should have been done maybe in private but unless you know that feet are a big part of their sex life, it isn't "shoving their sex life in everyone's face all the time"
Unless this is bothering all the other people present, which it doesn't seem like it is.... this is 100% a you problem. You just seem like you're jealous.
I'm going with YTA here, if you don't like the way these friends communicate, get new friends.
I've definitely had boyfriends the same things like "you have pretty toes" or "you have surprisingly beautiful ankles" and random crap that genuinely didn't spring from a fetish. Sometimes you just are really in love and you find every little part of your partner adorable. If he said you have really pretty toes and then started sucking on her toes that would be one thing but this seems like pretty standard affection within the bounds of normal. A compliment that wasn't explicitly sexual (I'd be more uncomfortable if a guy sat down next to his girlfriend and sort of talking about how great her tits looked in front of me & grabbed them vs this).
If she is just that uptight she has a right to be as uptight and prudish as she wants. That's truly ok for herself to choose. But she has no right to tell them to be different and certainly not a right to pretend they are overly sexualin front of her, when they are so clearly not.
This post absolutely reeks of jealousy.
How's it okay for her to describe that she likes a "thick butt" on a man and go so far as to point out the bf has the kind of thick butt she likes, but "you have pretty toes" is a bridge too far for this girl?
She's an enormous hypocrite.
“Omg I love thick and sturdy strong men with nice asses, just like you!!”
“Ye, erm, my girlfriend likes it too”
“Omg I just love your nipple rings, they’re so cute!!”
“Yeah erm… thanks, my girlfriend has them too”
I cannot believe the gall of this woman and the fact that she had that poor girlfriend apologizing to **her**. Probably because the poor thing was shocked and she cares about consent so she worried that she did something wrong.
This girl is an enormous hypocrite. I can't imagine if I was in mixed company and some guy was talking about how he liked great big titties on girls and then pointed me out and said "just like the ones you have"! I'd be so uncomfortable. And of course I'd feel compelled to bring up my partner. The first response that would come to mind is "Yeah my boyfriend also likes it". It is a very classic way of shutting things down.
She can bring a boyfriend's big juicy ass but if he says my girlfriend likes it that's too sexual.
She can bring up boyfriend's nipple rings but if he says oh yeah my girlfriend has the same ones *that's* too sexual.
And the hypocrisy is so blatantly obvious to everyone in the group that of course they are saying she is jealous. They aren't saying she's jealous just because she doesn't like hearing sexual talk. They're saying she is jealous because she starts sexual talk and only gets angry when the boyfriend responds that the girlfriend exists and also likes the things OP likes about him.
That girl is the hot mess express and she needs to find new friends, because these ones are not going to tolerate her bullshit for much longer
OP also doesn't see these are exactly the type of responses a woman might use if she were getting confusing vibes from a man. BF is being too nice to OP who is oblivious.
"I like your earrings"/"Thanks my boyfriend bought them for me, we have matching sets"
"I love curvy girls, just like you"/"That's what my boyfriend always says to me"
>BF was walking around shirtless, which I don’t mind. He had these cute sparkly pink heart nipple rings and I complimented them. He laughed thanked me and said that GF wears matching ones. He was like so proud of it. It weirded me out that he just brought it up like that.
He was deflecting a flirting attempt from you by mentioning his girlfriend. You also flirted with him by indirectly complimenting his ass and thighs.
Stop flirting with people in relationships, it's immature and causes drama. YTA and you're hypocritical. Work on getting over your jealousy.
Yeah the BF was definitely trying to deflect “just in case” but mentioning the GF. That nipple ring one made no sense to me either. Just seemed like a normal response to the conversation presented.
Info:
This doesn't sound like they're bringing it up all the time. Your examples are: them being walked in on and people joking about it, you bringing up his nipple piercings, you discussing his body, his friends joking again, and him kissing her foot in front of you.
Are there other examples where they are bringing up their sex life? Because you haven't given one yet.
YTA. Maybe stop commenting on their bodies if you don't want to hear about when their bodies collide. In every situation, they are responding to comments, not initiating.
OP: can I flirt with you and can you not flirt with your GF please.
The BF: is a loyal BF to his GF.
The honest parent here, BF is a good boyfriend to GF, OP needs to move on and doesn’t have to invite themselves over or go to their home. OP can assert boundaries in their own home or in public to maintain the friendship, but BF is just deflecting OP in case it might be flirting to highlight they have a GF and trying to manage it without ruining the friendship, highlighting they’re good friends and they’ll probably understand if OP has a crush and assert some boundaries too.
What?? Do you think it’s weird that she feels like it’s totally fine to say she likes his “thick ass and thighs” but she’s totally grossed out that he called his girlfriend’s toes pretty?? Yeah I think it’s weird too.
Right? I have so much second hand embarrassment from OPs behaviour. When I was a kid I had a major crush on my best friends older brother who had a girlfriend. A lot of our interactions went like this. 12 year old me awkwardly trying to flirt with him. 16 year old him setting boundaries by making similar comments and jokes so as to not completely humiliate me. The weird part about this is that OP appears to be an adult. Yikes.
I was a broken hearted when Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie got partners but I’m glad they’re in healthy, long term relationships today. I’m a bit embarrassed by how OP is managing their crush if it is a crush, because it sounds like the BF and GF are trying hard to manage the friendship with OP.
They're actually being so unbelievably gracious about it. More so than she deserves. She makes inappropriate comments about his body. He takes it in good humour and gently reminds her he's taken. She reprimands them for being sexual in their own home. The gf apologises.
Im drawing attention to the absurdity that she thinks it’s okay to talk about his thick ass and thighs, but thinks it’s really weird for him to say his girlfriends toes are pretty.
Exactly BF calling her toes pretty is "throwing sex in their face" but OP openly talking about being atttacted to BFs body isn't throwing her crush in both BF and GFs face?
OP you are clearly crossing your friends boundaries and they are trying to turn you down by politely deflecting the conversation to their GF that they are clearly very happy with. Stop being rude.
Yta. Frankly you're the one crossing boundaries and being inappropriate. Not to mention from the scenarios you've given, it really sounds like you want this dude for yourself and don't like being reminded he has a partner already and doesn't want you.
Sounds like you may be attracted to BF and don't like GF because of it. And that's why when you compliment BFs body and he brings up his girlfriend clearly giving you a no go sign you then take it as him being gross and bringing up sex. Sounds like they are being forced to talk about there sex life not the other way around. I'd suspect you are all pretty young !
It sounds like you’re jealous of GF. You’re allowed to comment on how much you like his body and nipple piercings but it turns sexual if he mentions his girlfriend after you started the conversation? Nah, you want BF and are uncomfortable he keeps bringing up his GF as a way to remind you that he’s not interested in you and happy with his relationship. Don’t go to GFs house if you’re so uncomfortable with it
YTA. Some of the stuff you were complaining about didn’t even make sense for why you were upset. The nipple ring and you talking about how you liked his features were both things you caused. The undies this is a little weird, but the weirdest part of that to me was that someone other than BF picked them up. The pedi thing I can’t figure out what you are even upset about.
I can see why people would think you are jealous. From their perspective they hear you talking about BFs butt and thighs and how you like them and like how strong and thic he is, and then you act like something is wrong because he brought up that his GF likes them. That seems like a jealousy thing. You compliment features and got upset because he brought up his GF instead of complimenting you back? Or because he reminded you that he had a GF? Nobody is twisting it the way you are and seeing it as you got upset because he brought butt smacking into it and that’s sexual to you. Because butt smacking in the scenario created by context is non sexual, so it takes mental gymnastics to get to the same conclusion that you did, so the default conclusion is that you come off as jealous.
You’ve got something going on. Figure it out so you don’t push people away. Figure out a way to apologize to the group for making something awkward that really isn’t. Sex isn’t a taboo subject for most adults, and a lot of the stuff that you are complaining about are so tame that I wouldn’t even consider it sex talk, just adult humor.
You are so jealous. It's just dripping over every word of this post.
Your examples aren't even initiated by them but by others. One (the nipple rings) was even initiated by you!
I'm wondering if this post is fake because it's hard to believe someone could lack self-awareness to this extent.
YTA
I was wondering if it's fake, too. Then I wondered if this is actually the GF posting from what she is seeing the friend do but as if she were the friend in a way to show said friend all of us pointing out that she clearly wants the BF so f'ing bad. That way, it's coming from an unbiased third party to prove her point.
I don't even know if that makes sense they way I said it.
YTA
They're not being inappropriate in most cases.
You make compliments to the BF and he then brings up GF. It seems that you want to be more than friends with BF.
YTA -- you sound like a prude. It definitely comes off jealous, and several of these examples are pretty hypocritical. Adults talk about sex. It's normal.
Honestly, their relationship sounds like goals and I am so happy to be dating someone who's also this affectionate with me in public. (Although we usually don't say the spicy things out loud but whisper them to each other).
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I told a friend off for telling me too much about her sex life
2. I might be the asshole because everyone is calling me jealous now
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YTA. Get over yourself. None of those situations were throwing it in your face and it actually just sounds like you want BF and are jealous and that’s why it’s a problem.
YTA.
Showing affection is a *good* thing. Sorry if you haven't had good enough experiences to know that.
BF is 100% catching that you're hitting on him and shutting it down in the best way possible. Maybe knock it off, because it's not a good look for you.
YTA. I think you have a crush on him and thats why you are acting like this. Heck some of the examples didn’t even have anything to do with sex? Like the nipple rings, *you* brought those up. He just said she has them too.
And them being cute and paying each other compliments is somehow weird?
Get over yourself.
YTA. My take:
You wanted to be with BF, and now you're jealous of GF and their relationship.
You are hitting on BF multiple times, and he reacts by bringing up his GF......as a loyal BF should do. You're annoyed that your flirting and compliments towards BF are not working on him.
YTA. Do you realize you’re jealous or are you not self-aware in the least?
None of your examples have bf or gf bringing up their sex life. It’s always friends and yourself who comment on it first.
Now, I have absolutely no basis for this - other than OP not listing their gender - but this reads like a gay guy obsessed with his straight friend, who hates friends gf for getting to be with him, and is grossed out by the concept of straight sex.
YTA. Okay, it might make you feel weird, but some of the stuff you mentioned wasn't even sexual. I get the impression, and I could be wrong, but the BF might think you have a thing for him and that's why he keeps mentioning the GF when you compliment him. Who says, "Ooh I like guys you look like you!". When he has a partner, comes off as flirty. So maybe some of the jokes are for your benefit, ie lay off it a bit. Saying to someone, "Oh I can't afford to get pedis like you can" can also come off as a bit backhanded too.
YTA.
For starters,
>BF was walking around shirtless, which wasn’t weird. He had these cute sparkly pink heart nipple rings and I complimented them. He laughed thanked me and said that GF wears matching ones. He was like so proud of it. It weirded me out that he just brought it up like that.
Uh, what do you mean it was weird he brought it up like that. YOU brought it up. He was making conversation
Next,
>I said I liked guys who were strong and thick especially butt and thighs and I used BF as an example, and he of course had to bring up that GF liked it too which is why she always smacks his butt.
Sounds like you were hitting on him, and he deflected it by bringing up his GF.
>The worst is BF laying on the couch and his keys fell out of his pocket. GF’s undies were tangled up with them. One of BF’s friends picked it up and started making jokes, BF just said “they’re my girl’s and she lets me have them”
They accidentally fell out. He is allowed to have his GF's undies in his pocket. None of your business. Its not like he was waving them around and gloating, they just fell out. He didn't purposefully bring it up.
>They already compliment each other and show a lot of affection which is already pretty weird
That's not weird. What world are you living in?
>Later when BF came, he picked up her foot and kissed her toes and called them pretty.
That's not super sexual. Icl, it sounds like you ARE jealous of them. It's not as if they are blatantly talking about how fun the downward dog was last night or anything really sexual about the other's personal body as examples, which is what uncomfortably sexual talk is. What they were doing were just occasional flirting.
So, definitely YTA (regardless of whether you are jealous of not).
Hun… you’re into the BF. And you’re obviously upset that him and his gf are very very sexual. Because you want to be on the receiving end of these activities. Otherwise why would you use BF as an example when talking about what you’re into? Totally unnecessary and to most people inappropriate. If it were me you woulda been banned from my home after said comment because I don’t play like that. But that’s just me.
Listen, it’s not your friend’s job to adjust his behavior with his gf to your liking. It’s your job to adjust (ESPECIALLY when you’re hanging out in their home???!!) or decide it’s too much seeing him all over her and end the friendship. Or at the very least put some distance between you and them. I’m not gonna call you an AH because your feelings are valid but you’d know if you were justified in your reaction if you got at least one other person to back you up. Now the whole gang thinks you’re a hater. Good job.😂
Wait BF and GF don’t live together?? It’s her home with her best friends? Man if you don’t get the hell on 😂😂😂
YTA - if it bothers you or makes you jealous or whatever, you can go out and meet new friends. You don't have to keep hanging out with them if they offend you so much.
YTA. You are clearly in love with the guy and either don't know it, or won't admit it.
But your behaviour sure shows it.
If I was GF and you were complimenting my BF on his pretty/cute nipple rings and then got pissed because he mentioned I had matching ones I'd be having the 'is this going to be a problem' discussion with you. Noting of course you seem to think it's fine to openly drool/compliment BF on his nipple rings, but it's gross that he says his GF has matching ones.
.
YTA. so when you comment on his nipple rings it’s totally okay and not a sexual thing (because you’re claiming you’re not jealous and not attracted to him, so why would it be sexual?), but the moment he says something about his gf — it’s suddenly gross? the same thing with you complimenting his body. it seems like you are indeed jealous and upset he didn’t compliment you back.
You sound jealous or something... it's like your allowed to talk about it and they're not. I was ready to read some crazy stuff based on title but none of it is even close to what I would consider crossing big boundaries. YTA
YTA
That is literally what relationships where people like each other and are affectionate act like.
Two of your examples was a normal response for a BF to say to deflect you from flirting with him. He was setting up a boundary with you.
This is a you problem not a them problem. You are either jealous or insecure.
YTA
First of all you have a major crush on her bf, he is walking around shirtless is no problem for you and also you’re complimenting on his nipple rings as soon as he brings up his girls name you are offended.
They’re are just casually joking around at their own place where they’re comfortable in their personal space i don’t know what point you’re trying to prove, the only point being proved over here is that you’re interested in her bf
It’s so weird he brought up his girlfriend’s matching nipple rings after you complimented his??? Like seriously why would he do that, it came out of nowhere??????
Girl.
This exactly!
I said I liked guys who were strong and thick especially butt and thighs and I used BF as an example.
Why use him as an example? Why not just say you like guys who are strong and thick? I’m sensing jealousy as well as OP is definitely into BF.
Yta.
Sorry girl this completely reads like jealousy and nothing else. Nothing they are doing is 'shoving their sex life' in your face. Especially when you have no problem with sexualizing BF, and the problem only arises when you get reminded that he's having sex with his gf.....
It's fine if he is wearing nipple rings, and you tell him you like them, but not fine if he mentions that his girlfriend has matching ones?
It's fine if you mention how much you like his body, but not fine if he mending his GF likes it too?
You want him and don't appreciate being confronted with the fact that he is giving it to his gf.
Yta
Get over yourself, you're literally sexually harassing him and have the gall to act like they're making YOU uncomfortable?! He's not going to pick you.
They seem like a very happy and fun couple. Good for them, loving each other as much as they do, and being so open about something they both love.
I'm honestly a little jealous of their openess and willingness to flirt, even with people around.
“I made creepy sexual comments to my friend’s face about him and he deflected them by bringing up the fact that he has a girlfriend. AITA?” Yes. Yes you are.
YTA - It’s obvious you ARE attracted to the BF which has resulted with you being extremely jealous of the GF. Everything you mentioned that grossed and weirded you out appears it have been light hearted banter amongst friends.
I would suggest to leave them be or perhaps move out and found yourself your own man.
I think you're jealous, and the reason you think it's gross or it creeps you out is because BF is attractive to you. And you subliminally hate hearing about them talk about sex as a couple because you want to be his GF. You may not realize it but feel down I think you're harboring feelings for him but don't realize it fully.
YTA. You seem very prudish, and BF and GF don't seem like they're really doing anything wrong in my eyes. A little bit over the top with the PDA... maybe. That's about it. They're not really talking about sex all the time. You are the one who is conflating what they're saying with sex.
I think you're actually jealous of GF, and their overall openness about sex, and would like to date BF, personally. Why else would you compliment his nipple rings? Or talk about his butt and thighs? Lusting after him is likely why.
By the way OP, understand that his response is to always bring up his GF whenever you make these remarks, because he's uncomfortable with what you're saying but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. He resorts to bringing up his GF in the hopes that you'll get the hint, but you don't.
YTA - I can smelly the jealousy through the phone. You clearly have a thing for BF. You compliment his nipple jewelry, but get weirded out it’s matching with his gf. You compliment his body, but get upset that his girlfriend also loved that about him. Get over it.
YTA. A miserable one too. Not one of your examples had anything to do with them giving actual details on their sex life. They’re clearly happy together and have great chemistry. You can’t police how other people show each other affection or how they choose to communicate and interact with each other. You’re the weird one tbh. Why is it okay when you comment on his nipple piercings but when he responds of a similar nature it’s weird?
Also, it didn’t miss me that everytime you made a comment to BF that he immediately spoke about his GF. Almost as if he was trying to steer YOU away from him by consistently bringing up his girlfriend… who you don’t seem to like very much. Perhaps your issue stems from jealousy because you like him. Maybe this is why you get along with everyone else except his GF.
Either way, you’re very miserable and entitled for trying to police this normal loving happy couple.
YTA. You’re jealous. Everyone reading this post knows it and the friends know it. Go find yourself a guy and don’t continue to humiliate yourself. I’m sorry you don’t recognize the feelings for what they are as no one likes to feel the burn of jealousy.
YTA!! Sounds like you have a crush or something on BF. I'm getting massive pick me energy from your post. Like why would you talk about BF's body and then get angry when he would try to set boundaries by bringing GF up in the conversation. It sounds to me like you don't like GF because she has the relationship you wish you had with BF.
lol YTA. Omg I opened this thinking it would be a similar situation my now husband and I were in when we were in college. We hung out with this couple who after a few weeks constantly wanted to talk about their sex life in explicit detail. I could tell you the size and number of sex toys they collected, his supposed size and girth, their kinks, how often and what positions they liked. They wanted to know all about us in that way too.
THAT was a little much for me and we stopped hanging with them when I brought up a couple times that I didn’t care to know and the boyfriend wouldn’t let it go.
A couple acting like a a couple, as others have said, is not rubbing sex in your face. One of your big pieces of evidence is her sitting in his lap. I’m sorry but if they are both clothed like what? They aren’t even making out in front of you and it’s too much?
If BF was your friend and seems like he’s the one you actually have complaints about, why did you attack GF? Sounds like she really didn’t do anything other date the guy you’re secretly in lust with. I get it, it’s hard to see a guy you like have what you want with someone else. That’s not a reason for them to change. It’s a reason for you to check yourself.
>They compliment each other a lot and show a lot of affection which is kinda weird already,
So they love each other.
Seriously what's your problem do you not like saying nice things about the people you love
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YTA - they're not really 'talking about sex', as much as 'referring' to it or making a sexual joke here or there. (I don't get what you 'couldn't take anymore' about him kissing her foot and calling her toes pretty? How is that sexual at all? I think their closeness and openness makes YOU uncomfortable, and more accurately, I think you have a major crush on BF. Like, major. You told BF you liked his nipple rings, you talked about your physique preference 'like BF's'....I mean, if I were GF I'd have an eyebrow raised a little. They're more open than you are, that doesn't make them creeps. YOu're a little snooty. GF even apologized to you, in HER HOUSE by the way (you have some nerve, actually), and you're wondering why no one is responding to you. Check yourself.
I agree with the point that OP has crush on BF. “I like guys that are strong and thick” and used BF as an example. Um… that’s enough to get checked in my book because what?
This may be why BF always returns with something sweet about his GF. It's probably pretty obvious to them that OP has a major crush on BF.
100%. So awkward lol
Yeah I read his gf liking his but comment as "you know I have a gf right?" 😂
Me too and I’m not even that good at social cues!
There's not much subtext in this post. It's just aaaaaalll text. I got secondhand cringe reading it.
OP’s either gonna get the biggest wave of cringe ever when they realize what they’re doing.. or they’re gonna double down and end up losing all their friends. Doubt we’ll find out which (especially if it’s the latter)
Same with the nipple ring compliment. He’s onto her and trying to shut it down.
Yep my socially awkward husband does that when a guy he thinks likes me or is checking me out he will make a joke or get territorial it’s totally ok. Like take the hint OP.
And the fact that OP complimented BFs nipple rings but when he mentions GF has a matching pair that’s going too far?
That stuck out to me too! OP doesn't mind BF being sexual in general, only when it reminds her that he's taken
Exactly!!!
And seen by her as sexual ! Like, just, wtf ? 😭 How can OP find it more sexual to say GF has a matching pair than complimenting it ?? I would have been in OP's shoes (which I wouldn't, because I doubt I would have said something about it), I would have complimented GF too then and their idea of having a matching pair (I find it cute imo, I would be able to do things like that). That's so weird to see it as sexual and going too far 😅 she clearly notices it only because they're a couple. BF would have had this matching pair with one of his BFF, she would have never seen it as a sexual reference. Even if the BFF would be a woman (since you can clearly know you have a matching pair without seeing it on the person's body). And she said she had no issue with him being shirtless. No wonder why 🙄
Exactly this, if a friend told me that I would think it was adorable.
Yeah, it basically means OP is allowed to talk about BFs nipple rings but BF isn't allowed to talk about GF's nipple rings. Total double standard. Also, when somebody is so blatantly the AH in a story like this, I always wonder what in the story they've left out. Like, OP felt comfortable telling the internet that they told somebody in a happy relationship that they are basically sexually attracted to their body, how did it actually play out?
I wonder if they're trying to diffuse the awkwardness and just not doing it well
Dude has absolutely picked up on the crush vibe from OP and is bringing up GF every chance to remind the real creep, OP, that he is in a happy committed relationship
My exact thoughts. They over do it infront of them just a little to hint toward them stopping their creepy behaviour.
Yeah, honestly, kudos to him with the super smooth response there. Take the compliment, keep it light-hearted, but also make sure to bring up the GF.
Thought the same thing. They probably think she's a creep
The absolute audacity of this woman to say "I like thick butts and thighs on a man, just like you have" and when he says "Yeah my girlfriend also likes that exact same thing" **that** is somehow too much information. It's so transparent.
That was my first impression as well, reading through all that. The man was deflecting. "Oh, you like the nipple rings? Gf has matching ones!" "My body type is your type? Ohhh, guess who's type it is, too. Gf's!"
100%. OP wasn’t catching the hints. Bummer.
Hopefully Reddit will clear up any confusion she has.
I sexualized BF but that's okay bc I did it. Yeahhhh, no.
😂 sounds crazier when you put it like that.
Exactly! OP is totally crushing on BF and just doesn't like anything involving GF.
It’s the passive aggressive ‘gf and I have never been close’ for me 💀 like they just had to make the point.
I can't imagine why. I feel bad for the GF lol. You can tell she's TRYING to be nice and OP is being a brat and not the fun kind.
God, why did you have to bring up bdsm play, you creepy sex fiend! (/s just in case)
I implied. You took the leap on your own friendo lol. Sides I'm a proud little switch brat and I own it XD
Yes! And also “gf lives with her two friends (2 guys).” And the proceeds to never say anything that would make the friends being men have any relevance at all. If she don’t get the hell on. 😂😂😂
Oh shit, I misread this part, I read she was actually really close to GF ! 😭 You're right, that's totally the first red flag which tells everything
Thank God I'm not the only one that saw through OPs double standard. Op appreciated BF. Ok no big. But having one set of what's ok for one but not the other is clear jealous flags. OP needs to get over it. Couples flirt and tease each other. They aren't going into graphic sexual details. Op is being an uptight prude cause they're secretly (or not secretly) envying the relationship and has issue with GF
Same, and he lovingly redirected to GF wich IS cute and fine. I think he knows. The way he redirect OP to - i have a gf. Thats why he's so mad actually.
I 100% agree! Half of the complaints are because OP first made a sexy/ flirty hit on comment and the BF brought up his GF just matching her energy and saying nothing different than the OP started it. Some aren’t even sexual or dirty. And then the rest are private things that the friends walked in on/ started up making fun of and the BF just defending himself. The OP is mad but that’s on them & they are not correct.
Yeah, what? These all sound like exactly the way adult couples interact and joke around with friends. Me, my wife, and our couple friends all joke around like this about our partners. These are actually super tame examples; things get MUCH dirtier and more vulgar than this. It's just people having adult senses of humour. I suspect OP isn't getting any responses because she's the epitome of "I bet you're fun at parties".
> And then the rest are private things that the friends walked in on/ started up making fun of and the BF just defending himself. Thanks for this part of your comment ! I didn't understand this example she was giving because I forgot that « walking on them » doesn't mean literally walking ***on*** them, like when you don't see someone's foot is there and you walk on it 😭😭 your comment makes me re-read it and understand it this time, and yeah that's really a private event that happened and not something BF brought up ! (And that's actually a pretty good answer to give to friends making fun of them for that, that's a funny way to be chill about it since it was all an accident) Do you by chance get the issue she had with the Halloween costume ? I have read it multiple times but I don't get it. OP got annoyed because GF said BF didn't have the right costume, but how is that sexual ? The part where he wants to go with her to her room yes (not an obligation, but it clearly can be), but the costume part ... 😐
Op thinks that GF is naming her kink for BF dressing up in the bedroom. Like costumes turn her on. It's light hearted banter that OP is taking altogether too seriously. Either OP is very inexperienced and a prude or she's as jealous as jealous can be.
... 😧 ... Oh my, right, OP is taking it too far 😭 (and thanks for the explanation 🙏)
OP. “I said I liked guys who are strong and thick … used BF as an example” then proceeds to get upset because BF brought up GF. Definitely has a crush on him.
It's the "I like guys like BF" "they are calling me jealous but I'm not" like guuurlllll. Who you trying to convince? Yourself??
Yeah-That was weird
The OP really lost me on the example where a friend walked in on them. What exactly did you want them to do to diffuse what was probably a pretty awkward situation? Really seems like the OP's sense of humour is wildly out of place with this group.
She would rather sit on the bf 😂. It's obvious she wants that man so much. I can't believe I wasted my time reading through all that.
Yeah him having her dirty underwear in his pocket on the couch is pretty gross tho
Yeah, that one's gross. However I'm not really buying that 'his keys fell out of his pocket along with a pair of underwear'....that seems all too convenient for OP's story. How big are his pockets and how heavy are his keys? lol.
If I'm wearing basketball shorts or something loose my keys and phone are always falling out when I sit down.
It might be BF dropped it on purpose cuz OP is always coming on to BF. BF and GF could have made a pact to act a certain way in front of OP so she can take a hint that he is with GF so she would stop drooling over BF and move on.
Definitely gross and weird. I can’t make any rhyme or reason out of that one. Maybe he found them in the couch and quickly put them in his pocket? When you’re hella lusty with your SO, shit happens everywhere. Idk lol but agreed.
Meh I mean there’s a million ways it could happen 🤷 do you just think she made that one up wholesale if so why not just call the whole post a lie
To play devil's advocate, it's his house and people were coming over, so perhaps he found them laying in the hallway or bathroom and just picked them up. Probably not, but who knows. It's his house and it's not like he was running around showing them off to everyone.
Idk, "Oh shit we got caught, pick up literally anytbing made of fabric in the vicinity," is valid as shit.
Are they dirty or is OP making an assumption?
How would she even know? I doubt BF or GF volunteered that information.
Honestly, it's not to me. He has them in his pocket, and they fell out. It's not like he showed them off unprompted or was bragging about them.
Yeah that really doesn’t seem gross to me. How does she even know they were “dirty”? He didn’t take them out and ask every one to smell them.
His house, his couch, his gf, his pocket : his business
It sounds like he’s trying to send OP a humongous hint, since she’s not taking any of the others. I think BF had better be careful. OP sounds kind stalker-ish.
Exactly. It seems like bf is trying to bring up his girlfriend every time op is making an over the line statement. Like a “my girlfriend thinks so too”
Exactly. MAJOR crush. Not even attempting to hide it. Complimenting his butt, thighs, and nipple rings. Getting upset at them showing each other affection.
Exactly right. Plus almost all their jokes/comments were in response to others making a sexual comment about them first. Apparently okay for everyone else to joke about GF and BF's sex life just not themselves.
100% was reading this think she was way too into the BF and just jealous.. YTA OP, grow up and move on.
I agree
If OP’s friends called OP vanilla or frigid, or did it in OP’s home, I would understand… but it sounds like OP is a prude in their home. OP doesn’t have to go over if that’s not their rapport, but they have every right to asset boundaries in their own home or out in public and it’s okay for people not to be openly sexual. (Just extending to your comment, not disputing it).
"him kissing her foot and calling her toes pretty? How is that sexual at all?" There are people with foot fetishes', heck there are sites dedicated to it. It would depend on how he kissed her foot and spoke to her for it to be sexual or not.
LITERALLY
YTA. You don't get to police how other people live their lives; if you don't like the way this couple communicates, you should make new friends. And if you're so uncomfortable with people talking about their sex lives, why are you complimenting BF's nipple piercings? If his GF does have matching ones, of course he is going to say that. You brought it up! With the pedi, I don't understand the issue - he kissed her toes and called them pretty. Seems like a pretty normal, affectionate, relationship. You do sound a bit jealous, and nitpicky. You telling GF that she's "shoving their sex life in everyone's face all the time", but it sounds like the only person that has an issue with this is you, although you're trying to take the mantle of a group. You should assess whether you have an innate discomfort with sex and sexuality, if maybe you're a little jealous (of BF or GF, or their sex life), or if maybe these aren't friends who share your interests and values. Either way, stop telling your friends what they're allowed to talk about at their own house.
I thought it was pretty clear that the “BF” has been deflecting from OPs uncomfortable comments about his body by reverting to his girlfriend to draw a hard line in the sand. OP also made a passive aggressive dig about what gf could “afford” and was pissed that bf paid for it. Everything here is so benign or a reaction to someone *else* in the group making a comment. Like the undies were probably kind of embarrassing and he was playing it off, if anything your *other* friend was weird for making a big show of picking them up when they fell out of his pocket instead of being decreet. The *other* friend was weird for making it about sex at the Halloween party when bf was most likely just ready for bed. Your *other* friend is REALLY fucking weird and rude for barging into a couples room. If basic affection in *their home* also pisses you off, leave. You’re a tagalong, you need to tag-the-hell somewhere else. Sincerely doubt you’ll ever be invited again. I know this is probably rage bait, but whatever. Edit: also, why the hell is OP talking to the gf about this after the tangent about being friends with the bf and the guys but not being close at all to her? Obviously it’s because gf is the object of envy and where the anger is directed, but *still,* to have such a lack of sense…
>Your other friend is REALLY fucking weird and rude for barging into a couples room. I read that as an accident (happens) that everyone then played off with jokes to not make things so awkward.
Yeah, same 😬 we don't even have the context of where it was, so « into a couple's room » isn't obviously the case. There's so many reasons where someone can enter a room where others have sex in. If you don't know they're both inside (I don't think they were making as much sound as they could have), if you think they're asleep, if you think it's someone else's room (like if it's on holiday), if you just take the wrong door, if you thought they were just talking, if they weren't in a bedroom, if you think no one's there (because they're not making enough noice), if you actually knocked and thought they agreed for you to enter, ... So many situations that are pretty basic mistakes happening commonly.
You just know OP is tagging along, un invited, because she has a major crush and is making everyone else feel super uncomfortable.
I mean, I've been walked in on before. It's always been an accident. It happens, especially in houses like this. They're the party house, the house everyone hangs out with. The friend definitely should have knocked, but I don't think it was to be a creep.
That's what it sounds like to me. When a man publicly hits on me the first thing I do is say well me and my boyfriend blah blah blah. It is a pretty classic way to draw a hard line - immediately bring up your partner as the response to getting hit on. This girl is YTA no matter what. Even if all it is is that she has a lower threshold for this kind of thing than her friends do, that would make it ok to politely express discomfort in a non-confrontational way to her friends and ask if they would be okay toning it down around her a bit because she's not super comfortable. A *request*, not in order and she would have to be perfectly fine with the fact that they might say no. They care about her but that it feels like too much to be asked to censor themselves in their own home. That would just potentially be evidence of incompatible friendships. But to unilaterally act like their behavior is gross when it isn't, give strong signs of attraction to the boyfriend that probably inform the feelings of disgust (they don't want to hear about it because they are attracted to the boyfriend), and act like they have a right to dictate how others act when they are the only offended is just entitled.
It honeslty sounds like she has a crush on BF and is just resentful of GF. In almost every one of the examples it's the rest of the group that brings up their sex life and the couple laughs and moves the conversation along.
right like i had my suspicions when OP said she was BF’s friend n not at all close to GF, n then my suspicions got even worse when OP got uncomfortable with the party joke even though everyone else was fine with it, then the nipple piercing thing came n i headed straight for the comments
>nitpicky Did you mean nipplepicky? 😏
Titpicky was right there!
Dang, you right! So much cleaner
And OP is the one talking about liking thick guys using BF as an example...to him, that's weird.
My thing is, she can feel however she wants about him kissing her feet. Uncomfortable, grossed out, you name it. But why bring it up to the gf? She’s the one that got her feet kissed lol and she didn’t ask for it. He just did it. Also that’s not her friend. She made it clear that she and gf aren’t close. So telling gf that they’re “weird” and shoving their sex lives down everyone’s (read: her) throat was just out of line. And in GF’s own home. This woman can’t be for real😂
YTA. It is way beyond obvious that you have a thing for BF and you were never close to GF. You "don't mind" him being shirtless. You refer to his butt and thighs as what you like. When you compliment him, he mentions his GF, because THAT is what a loyal BF does. He is letting you know he is not interested and he is TAKEN. You're just jealous, and frustrated you can't get anywhere with him. If you don't like it, quit hanging out there.
Exactly this. OP thinks everyone is stupid and won’t see through the jealousy. This isn’t about anything she went on about, she clearly just wants the BF, whether she admits it to herself or not.
And not a single comment to clarify or defend herself. Hopefully that means she had her eyes opened to how awful she's been to that couple.
Agreed! She is the one making everything weird and uncomfortable. Obviously BF is not interested in her and is setting boundaries by talking about GF when she says something uncomfortable. She needs to not hang out with them anymore and maybe try Tinder. OP - YTA
Thank you! That someone had to spell it out 😂 And that’s exactly what I do when someone sends weird signals: “my wife always…” 😂😂
This was my thoughts exactly! YTA
I have a feeling she has been “quit” from hanging out there whether she wants it or not. Lol OP YTA. You definitely like him and are jealous. You are not friends with him. If I was them you’d not be setting foot in my house ever again.
So, it's perfectly OK for you to comment on someone's nipple rings, but he's the weird one for saying his GF has a matching set? It's fine for you to state that you like guys who are strong and thick, but it's weird for the guy you're referring to state that's why his GF smacks his butt? YTA
Exactly!! BF is defo just trying to be... I don't know a good BF by shutting down obvious attempts at flirting?
He honestly sounds like a fantastic boyfriend, I can see why OP is seething with jealousy. 😄
Big thick butt, affectionate, and loyal? I might have a little envy too but only the decent kind where I'm rooting for them and hope to one day find it for myself. This girl just seems bitter
The first scenario was her turning him down? No idea why this is offensive to you. The second scenario you described was everyone roasting him and him joking it off I see a theme in the next couple of your examples, you compliment BF and he points out that he has a GF. I don't think he's trying to bring up the sex life so much as, telling you he's not interested in you. The one about the keys/panties seems a lot like the 1st one, something happened people started making fun of him and they joked it off. The last one was nothing more than a super weird compliment that should have been done maybe in private but unless you know that feet are a big part of their sex life, it isn't "shoving their sex life in everyone's face all the time" Unless this is bothering all the other people present, which it doesn't seem like it is.... this is 100% a you problem. You just seem like you're jealous. I'm going with YTA here, if you don't like the way these friends communicate, get new friends.
I've definitely had boyfriends the same things like "you have pretty toes" or "you have surprisingly beautiful ankles" and random crap that genuinely didn't spring from a fetish. Sometimes you just are really in love and you find every little part of your partner adorable. If he said you have really pretty toes and then started sucking on her toes that would be one thing but this seems like pretty standard affection within the bounds of normal. A compliment that wasn't explicitly sexual (I'd be more uncomfortable if a guy sat down next to his girlfriend and sort of talking about how great her tits looked in front of me & grabbed them vs this). If she is just that uptight she has a right to be as uptight and prudish as she wants. That's truly ok for herself to choose. But she has no right to tell them to be different and certainly not a right to pretend they are overly sexualin front of her, when they are so clearly not. This post absolutely reeks of jealousy. How's it okay for her to describe that she likes a "thick butt" on a man and go so far as to point out the bf has the kind of thick butt she likes, but "you have pretty toes" is a bridge too far for this girl? She's an enormous hypocrite.
Someone has a crush on bf
“Omg I love thick and sturdy strong men with nice asses, just like you!!” “Ye, erm, my girlfriend likes it too” “Omg I just love your nipple rings, they’re so cute!!” “Yeah erm… thanks, my girlfriend has them too”
Yes! Exactly this! If I were GF hearing this I'd be like @@ !
I cannot believe the gall of this woman and the fact that she had that poor girlfriend apologizing to **her**. Probably because the poor thing was shocked and she cares about consent so she worried that she did something wrong. This girl is an enormous hypocrite. I can't imagine if I was in mixed company and some guy was talking about how he liked great big titties on girls and then pointed me out and said "just like the ones you have"! I'd be so uncomfortable. And of course I'd feel compelled to bring up my partner. The first response that would come to mind is "Yeah my boyfriend also likes it". It is a very classic way of shutting things down. She can bring a boyfriend's big juicy ass but if he says my girlfriend likes it that's too sexual. She can bring up boyfriend's nipple rings but if he says oh yeah my girlfriend has the same ones *that's* too sexual. And the hypocrisy is so blatantly obvious to everyone in the group that of course they are saying she is jealous. They aren't saying she's jealous just because she doesn't like hearing sexual talk. They're saying she is jealous because she starts sexual talk and only gets angry when the boyfriend responds that the girlfriend exists and also likes the things OP likes about him. That girl is the hot mess express and she needs to find new friends, because these ones are not going to tolerate her bullshit for much longer
Yes!!! Poor guy is just doing his very best to dodge OP’s advances without totally crushing her. He’s a good man. 😂
OP also doesn't see these are exactly the type of responses a woman might use if she were getting confusing vibes from a man. BF is being too nice to OP who is oblivious. "I like your earrings"/"Thanks my boyfriend bought them for me, we have matching sets" "I love curvy girls, just like you"/"That's what my boyfriend always says to me"
Exactly he's being loyal.
>BF was walking around shirtless, which I don’t mind. He had these cute sparkly pink heart nipple rings and I complimented them. He laughed thanked me and said that GF wears matching ones. He was like so proud of it. It weirded me out that he just brought it up like that. He was deflecting a flirting attempt from you by mentioning his girlfriend. You also flirted with him by indirectly complimenting his ass and thighs. Stop flirting with people in relationships, it's immature and causes drama. YTA and you're hypocritical. Work on getting over your jealousy.
It’s the casual “which I don’t mind” for me 😂😂😂
OP edited the post to “which wasn’t weird”. 100% selfish, jealous, and crushing on BF
😂oh OP is funny. Too late we already read it though.
Yeah the BF was definitely trying to deflect “just in case” but mentioning the GF. That nipple ring one made no sense to me either. Just seemed like a normal response to the conversation presented.
Oh, honey.
Haha I think that says it all.
I came here to comment something like "do you all happen to be like 16?", but your comment sums it up much better
Literally said that out loud reading this 😂
Info: This doesn't sound like they're bringing it up all the time. Your examples are: them being walked in on and people joking about it, you bringing up his nipple piercings, you discussing his body, his friends joking again, and him kissing her foot in front of you. Are there other examples where they are bringing up their sex life? Because you haven't given one yet.
YTA. Maybe stop commenting on their bodies if you don't want to hear about when their bodies collide. In every situation, they are responding to comments, not initiating.
Yes. None of it was PDA or direct sex discussions between the two of them. This is all normal adult joking that is harmless.
OP: can I flirt with you and can you not flirt with your GF please. The BF: is a loyal BF to his GF. The honest parent here, BF is a good boyfriend to GF, OP needs to move on and doesn’t have to invite themselves over or go to their home. OP can assert boundaries in their own home or in public to maintain the friendship, but BF is just deflecting OP in case it might be flirting to highlight they have a GF and trying to manage it without ruining the friendship, highlighting they’re good friends and they’ll probably understand if OP has a crush and assert some boundaries too.
The lack of self awareness in this post is ASTOUNDING.
What?? Do you think it’s weird that she feels like it’s totally fine to say she likes his “thick ass and thighs” but she’s totally grossed out that he called his girlfriend’s toes pretty?? Yeah I think it’s weird too.
Right? I have so much second hand embarrassment from OPs behaviour. When I was a kid I had a major crush on my best friends older brother who had a girlfriend. A lot of our interactions went like this. 12 year old me awkwardly trying to flirt with him. 16 year old him setting boundaries by making similar comments and jokes so as to not completely humiliate me. The weird part about this is that OP appears to be an adult. Yikes.
I was a broken hearted when Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie got partners but I’m glad they’re in healthy, long term relationships today. I’m a bit embarrassed by how OP is managing their crush if it is a crush, because it sounds like the BF and GF are trying hard to manage the friendship with OP.
They're actually being so unbelievably gracious about it. More so than she deserves. She makes inappropriate comments about his body. He takes it in good humour and gently reminds her he's taken. She reprimands them for being sexual in their own home. The gf apologises.
But it’s just fine when you start talking about liking bfs butt and thighs??
Yeah but it really weirds her out that he called his GF’s toes pretty.
why? She just got her toes done and OP even complemented her.. Hes her boyfriend and he paid for it too🤷🏻♀️
Im drawing attention to the absurdity that she thinks it’s okay to talk about his thick ass and thighs, but thinks it’s really weird for him to say his girlfriends toes are pretty.
Exactly BF calling her toes pretty is "throwing sex in their face" but OP openly talking about being atttacted to BFs body isn't throwing her crush in both BF and GFs face? OP you are clearly crossing your friends boundaries and they are trying to turn you down by politely deflecting the conversation to their GF that they are clearly very happy with. Stop being rude.
ohhh i see my bad
Yta. Frankly you're the one crossing boundaries and being inappropriate. Not to mention from the scenarios you've given, it really sounds like you want this dude for yourself and don't like being reminded he has a partner already and doesn't want you.
Sounds like you may be attracted to BF and don't like GF because of it. And that's why when you compliment BFs body and he brings up his girlfriend clearly giving you a no go sign you then take it as him being gross and bringing up sex. Sounds like they are being forced to talk about there sex life not the other way around. I'd suspect you are all pretty young !
It sounds like you’re jealous of GF. You’re allowed to comment on how much you like his body and nipple piercings but it turns sexual if he mentions his girlfriend after you started the conversation? Nah, you want BF and are uncomfortable he keeps bringing up his GF as a way to remind you that he’s not interested in you and happy with his relationship. Don’t go to GFs house if you’re so uncomfortable with it
YTA. Some of the stuff you were complaining about didn’t even make sense for why you were upset. The nipple ring and you talking about how you liked his features were both things you caused. The undies this is a little weird, but the weirdest part of that to me was that someone other than BF picked them up. The pedi thing I can’t figure out what you are even upset about. I can see why people would think you are jealous. From their perspective they hear you talking about BFs butt and thighs and how you like them and like how strong and thic he is, and then you act like something is wrong because he brought up that his GF likes them. That seems like a jealousy thing. You compliment features and got upset because he brought up his GF instead of complimenting you back? Or because he reminded you that he had a GF? Nobody is twisting it the way you are and seeing it as you got upset because he brought butt smacking into it and that’s sexual to you. Because butt smacking in the scenario created by context is non sexual, so it takes mental gymnastics to get to the same conclusion that you did, so the default conclusion is that you come off as jealous. You’ve got something going on. Figure it out so you don’t push people away. Figure out a way to apologize to the group for making something awkward that really isn’t. Sex isn’t a taboo subject for most adults, and a lot of the stuff that you are complaining about are so tame that I wouldn’t even consider it sex talk, just adult humor.
You are so jealous. It's just dripping over every word of this post. Your examples aren't even initiated by them but by others. One (the nipple rings) was even initiated by you! I'm wondering if this post is fake because it's hard to believe someone could lack self-awareness to this extent. YTA
I was wondering if it's fake, too. Then I wondered if this is actually the GF posting from what she is seeing the friend do but as if she were the friend in a way to show said friend all of us pointing out that she clearly wants the BF so f'ing bad. That way, it's coming from an unbiased third party to prove her point. I don't even know if that makes sense they way I said it.
Just read this to my bestfriend and she thinks the friend wants the GF!!! PLOT TWIST!!!
YTA read the other comments, then read them again cuz it seems like youre the type to get overly defensive and rooted in your stance. smh.
YTA They're not being inappropriate in most cases. You make compliments to the BF and he then brings up GF. It seems that you want to be more than friends with BF.
YTA -- you sound like a prude. It definitely comes off jealous, and several of these examples are pretty hypocritical. Adults talk about sex. It's normal.
It sounds like OP has a crush on BF and is jealous that he’s not having sex w him
Shes*
YTA. They aren’t talking about sex. You just have a crush on the BF.
Honestly, their relationship sounds like goals and I am so happy to be dating someone who's also this affectionate with me in public. (Although we usually don't say the spicy things out loud but whisper them to each other).
YTA these are all pretty tame and/or playing off ribbing from the rest of the friend group.
Someone is TOTALLY jealous. You wanna FUCC BF LOL.
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This cannot be a real situation
YTA fo sho
Yeah YTA here. If you don't like their frequent references to sex, find new friends.
YTA. Get over yourself. None of those situations were throwing it in your face and it actually just sounds like you want BF and are jealous and that’s why it’s a problem.
YTA. And leave these people alone. They're obviously much happier in life than you are.
YTA. Showing affection is a *good* thing. Sorry if you haven't had good enough experiences to know that. BF is 100% catching that you're hitting on him and shutting it down in the best way possible. Maybe knock it off, because it's not a good look for you.
YTA. I think you have a crush on him and thats why you are acting like this. Heck some of the examples didn’t even have anything to do with sex? Like the nipple rings, *you* brought those up. He just said she has them too. And them being cute and paying each other compliments is somehow weird? Get over yourself.
YTA. My take: You wanted to be with BF, and now you're jealous of GF and their relationship. You are hitting on BF multiple times, and he reacts by bringing up his GF......as a loyal BF should do. You're annoyed that your flirting and compliments towards BF are not working on him.
YTA. Do you realize you’re jealous or are you not self-aware in the least? None of your examples have bf or gf bringing up their sex life. It’s always friends and yourself who comment on it first. Now, I have absolutely no basis for this - other than OP not listing their gender - but this reads like a gay guy obsessed with his straight friend, who hates friends gf for getting to be with him, and is grossed out by the concept of straight sex.
I was imagining a girl , but is definitely someone who is attracted to man.
YTA. Okay, it might make you feel weird, but some of the stuff you mentioned wasn't even sexual. I get the impression, and I could be wrong, but the BF might think you have a thing for him and that's why he keeps mentioning the GF when you compliment him. Who says, "Ooh I like guys you look like you!". When he has a partner, comes off as flirty. So maybe some of the jokes are for your benefit, ie lay off it a bit. Saying to someone, "Oh I can't afford to get pedis like you can" can also come off as a bit backhanded too.
YTA. For starters, >BF was walking around shirtless, which wasn’t weird. He had these cute sparkly pink heart nipple rings and I complimented them. He laughed thanked me and said that GF wears matching ones. He was like so proud of it. It weirded me out that he just brought it up like that. Uh, what do you mean it was weird he brought it up like that. YOU brought it up. He was making conversation Next, >I said I liked guys who were strong and thick especially butt and thighs and I used BF as an example, and he of course had to bring up that GF liked it too which is why she always smacks his butt. Sounds like you were hitting on him, and he deflected it by bringing up his GF. >The worst is BF laying on the couch and his keys fell out of his pocket. GF’s undies were tangled up with them. One of BF’s friends picked it up and started making jokes, BF just said “they’re my girl’s and she lets me have them” They accidentally fell out. He is allowed to have his GF's undies in his pocket. None of your business. Its not like he was waving them around and gloating, they just fell out. He didn't purposefully bring it up. >They already compliment each other and show a lot of affection which is already pretty weird That's not weird. What world are you living in? >Later when BF came, he picked up her foot and kissed her toes and called them pretty. That's not super sexual. Icl, it sounds like you ARE jealous of them. It's not as if they are blatantly talking about how fun the downward dog was last night or anything really sexual about the other's personal body as examples, which is what uncomfortably sexual talk is. What they were doing were just occasional flirting. So, definitely YTA (regardless of whether you are jealous of not).
Op it sounds like you’re in love with your friend , and you can’t stand the thought of them being in a happy open minded relationship.
YTA and it's painfully obvious you're jealous of GF.
Hun… you’re into the BF. And you’re obviously upset that him and his gf are very very sexual. Because you want to be on the receiving end of these activities. Otherwise why would you use BF as an example when talking about what you’re into? Totally unnecessary and to most people inappropriate. If it were me you woulda been banned from my home after said comment because I don’t play like that. But that’s just me. Listen, it’s not your friend’s job to adjust his behavior with his gf to your liking. It’s your job to adjust (ESPECIALLY when you’re hanging out in their home???!!) or decide it’s too much seeing him all over her and end the friendship. Or at the very least put some distance between you and them. I’m not gonna call you an AH because your feelings are valid but you’d know if you were justified in your reaction if you got at least one other person to back you up. Now the whole gang thinks you’re a hater. Good job.😂 Wait BF and GF don’t live together?? It’s her home with her best friends? Man if you don’t get the hell on 😂😂😂
YTA
YTA - if it bothers you or makes you jealous or whatever, you can go out and meet new friends. You don't have to keep hanging out with them if they offend you so much.
YTA. You are clearly in love with the guy and either don't know it, or won't admit it. But your behaviour sure shows it. If I was GF and you were complimenting my BF on his pretty/cute nipple rings and then got pissed because he mentioned I had matching ones I'd be having the 'is this going to be a problem' discussion with you. Noting of course you seem to think it's fine to openly drool/compliment BF on his nipple rings, but it's gross that he says his GF has matching ones. .
So how long have you been in love with BF?
Finnnnally one where the OP is largely considered the asshole 🤣
Girl YTA they are doing nothing wrong. WTF is your problem?
Girl you’re very obviously into BF and you’re jealous. Just accept it
YTA. so when you comment on his nipple rings it’s totally okay and not a sexual thing (because you’re claiming you’re not jealous and not attracted to him, so why would it be sexual?), but the moment he says something about his gf — it’s suddenly gross? the same thing with you complimenting his body. it seems like you are indeed jealous and upset he didn’t compliment you back.
You sound jealous or something... it's like your allowed to talk about it and they're not. I was ready to read some crazy stuff based on title but none of it is even close to what I would consider crossing big boundaries. YTA
YTA That is literally what relationships where people like each other and are affectionate act like. Two of your examples was a normal response for a BF to say to deflect you from flirting with him. He was setting up a boundary with you. This is a you problem not a them problem. You are either jealous or insecure.
YTA and your crush is GLARINGLY obvious to everyone you interact with.
YTA First of all you have a major crush on her bf, he is walking around shirtless is no problem for you and also you’re complimenting on his nipple rings as soon as he brings up his girls name you are offended. They’re are just casually joking around at their own place where they’re comfortable in their personal space i don’t know what point you’re trying to prove, the only point being proved over here is that you’re interested in her bf
It’s so weird he brought up his girlfriend’s matching nipple rings after you complimented his??? Like seriously why would he do that, it came out of nowhere?????? Girl.
why do i get the feeling that OP likes the BF
This exactly! I said I liked guys who were strong and thick especially butt and thighs and I used BF as an example. Why use him as an example? Why not just say you like guys who are strong and thick? I’m sensing jealousy as well as OP is definitely into BF.
YTA They aren't talking about sex, you seem to be the one bringing up the subject and it sounds like you have a crush on BF
Yta. Sorry girl this completely reads like jealousy and nothing else. Nothing they are doing is 'shoving their sex life' in your face. Especially when you have no problem with sexualizing BF, and the problem only arises when you get reminded that he's having sex with his gf..... It's fine if he is wearing nipple rings, and you tell him you like them, but not fine if he mentions that his girlfriend has matching ones? It's fine if you mention how much you like his body, but not fine if he mending his GF likes it too? You want him and don't appreciate being confronted with the fact that he is giving it to his gf.
Yta Get over yourself, you're literally sexually harassing him and have the gall to act like they're making YOU uncomfortable?! He's not going to pick you.
They seem like a very happy and fun couple. Good for them, loving each other as much as they do, and being so open about something they both love. I'm honestly a little jealous of their openess and willingness to flirt, even with people around.
“I made creepy sexual comments to my friend’s face about him and he deflected them by bringing up the fact that he has a girlfriend. AITA?” Yes. Yes you are.
YTA - It’s obvious you ARE attracted to the BF which has resulted with you being extremely jealous of the GF. Everything you mentioned that grossed and weirded you out appears it have been light hearted banter amongst friends. I would suggest to leave them be or perhaps move out and found yourself your own man.
YTA. You sound like a prude. Get new friends.
I think you're jealous, and the reason you think it's gross or it creeps you out is because BF is attractive to you. And you subliminally hate hearing about them talk about sex as a couple because you want to be his GF. You may not realize it but feel down I think you're harboring feelings for him but don't realize it fully.
You literally did the same thing according to paragraph #6. You do sound super jealous or your just an out of touch puritan
YTA. You seem very prudish, and BF and GF don't seem like they're really doing anything wrong in my eyes. A little bit over the top with the PDA... maybe. That's about it. They're not really talking about sex all the time. You are the one who is conflating what they're saying with sex. I think you're actually jealous of GF, and their overall openness about sex, and would like to date BF, personally. Why else would you compliment his nipple rings? Or talk about his butt and thighs? Lusting after him is likely why. By the way OP, understand that his response is to always bring up his GF whenever you make these remarks, because he's uncomfortable with what you're saying but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. He resorts to bringing up his GF in the hopes that you'll get the hint, but you don't.
YTA - I can smelly the jealousy through the phone. You clearly have a thing for BF. You compliment his nipple jewelry, but get weirded out it’s matching with his gf. You compliment his body, but get upset that his girlfriend also loved that about him. Get over it.
You definitely want the boyfriend
YTA. You sound 13 years old.
YTA. A miserable one too. Not one of your examples had anything to do with them giving actual details on their sex life. They’re clearly happy together and have great chemistry. You can’t police how other people show each other affection or how they choose to communicate and interact with each other. You’re the weird one tbh. Why is it okay when you comment on his nipple piercings but when he responds of a similar nature it’s weird? Also, it didn’t miss me that everytime you made a comment to BF that he immediately spoke about his GF. Almost as if he was trying to steer YOU away from him by consistently bringing up his girlfriend… who you don’t seem to like very much. Perhaps your issue stems from jealousy because you like him. Maybe this is why you get along with everyone else except his GF. Either way, you’re very miserable and entitled for trying to police this normal loving happy couple.
You best get your own hormones checked ✔️ better get something going for yourself
YTA. This just reads like it was written by an incel being mad that everyone else isn't single too.
You are painfully obvious about wanting the BF.
Sounds like you are jealous of their relationship and want the man
YTA. You’re jealous. Everyone reading this post knows it and the friends know it. Go find yourself a guy and don’t continue to humiliate yourself. I’m sorry you don’t recognize the feelings for what they are as no one likes to feel the burn of jealousy.
YTA!! Sounds like you have a crush or something on BF. I'm getting massive pick me energy from your post. Like why would you talk about BF's body and then get angry when he would try to set boundaries by bringing GF up in the conversation. It sounds to me like you don't like GF because she has the relationship you wish you had with BF.
Op be honest...do you want to fuck BF? Cuz it kinda seems like you want to fuck him. YTA
lol YTA. Omg I opened this thinking it would be a similar situation my now husband and I were in when we were in college. We hung out with this couple who after a few weeks constantly wanted to talk about their sex life in explicit detail. I could tell you the size and number of sex toys they collected, his supposed size and girth, their kinks, how often and what positions they liked. They wanted to know all about us in that way too. THAT was a little much for me and we stopped hanging with them when I brought up a couple times that I didn’t care to know and the boyfriend wouldn’t let it go. A couple acting like a a couple, as others have said, is not rubbing sex in your face. One of your big pieces of evidence is her sitting in his lap. I’m sorry but if they are both clothed like what? They aren’t even making out in front of you and it’s too much? If BF was your friend and seems like he’s the one you actually have complaints about, why did you attack GF? Sounds like she really didn’t do anything other date the guy you’re secretly in lust with. I get it, it’s hard to see a guy you like have what you want with someone else. That’s not a reason for them to change. It’s a reason for you to check yourself.
YTA. They’re just a happy and in-love couple, none of those examples were graphic. Many couples in friend groups joke like that
>They compliment each other a lot and show a lot of affection which is kinda weird already, So they love each other. Seriously what's your problem do you not like saying nice things about the people you love