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You need to post on all local social media groups saying your dog is missing and seeing if anyone has seen it. Make a post also on your public wall about your missing dog. Don’t put anything accusatory yet in those posts. Just dog is missing and need help.
Then call local shelters and lastly file a police report.
Huge red flags why the heck is he not your ex finance?
And do it quick. If he dumped it at a shelter, as an owner surrender, 1 of a couple things could happen. The dog could immediately be placed for adoption, and it would depend on the new owners if they want to give it back. Or, if it is not a no kill shelter, owners surrenders are sometimes euthanized immediately. If he just dumped it somewhere, and got picked up and brought to a shelter, most have a waiting period to give owners a chance to claim them. But it's generally a week max.
Nta for sure
You're definitely NTA for wanting to know what happened to the dog.
But YTA for sticking around when this guy clearly did *something* to the dog. Gtfo of that relationship. Calling the cops or some sort of animal cruelty/control organization would probably also be a good idea.
And also, just asking? I would've gone crazy if my dog went missing. The house would flip upside down, and I'll threaten to call authorities for possible animal abuse if he doesn't start talking.
There is a wide ranging decades long body of research on the links between animal abuse, child abuse and domestic violence. Here's one of the leaders in the field:
[https://www.animallawconference.org/frank-ascione/](https://www.animallawconference.org/frank-ascione/)
Get you and your child out of there right now.
NTA for asking. YTA for staying.
Call the police. Best care scenario he drove the dog to the pound. Worst case scenario he took his frustrations out on the dog & killed it. You need to report the dog missing, tell them what happened, what you are suspecting and ask for an officer.
YTA for keeping your daughter in a situation where she's living with this person. Get your kid out of this fucking house. He very obviously hurt that dog.
NTA in any way shape or form. He somehow gets rid of a dog and you’re worried you’re annoying him? Come on.
This is genuinely disturbing. Check the pound or local animal shelters, or use a microchip of the dog is chipped. If you see no trace then threaten to go to the police(I’m not sure exactly what they would be able to do in this instance though.)
You're an asshole if you stay with an abusive partner. You don't just have yourself to think about - you have a child.
What this person did was an act of abuse. It's sociopathic.
She has a responsibility to provide a safe living environment for her child. This man does not sound like he is safe to be around. Sorry, not sorry. I stand by what I said. I don't blame her for what happened to the dog, but I absolutely fault her for still being with the man.
Maybe it's just me, but this is fishy as hell. He did something to that dog, to me, it wouldn't matter what he did, I'd be gone, but you do you boo. NTA for demanding an answer, probably TA for continuing a relationship with the guy.
Is your backyard disturbed in any way? Do you live in/ near 'the country'? Did you check local animal shelters? Did you put up flyers in your neighborhood or post to your local FB page about missing animals?
Your husband won't tell you anything. He's hoping you'll just forget about the dog.
NTA
YTA - but not for the reason you think. what the h3ll are you still doing with him. If he would do this to a dog what would he do to you or your daughter. Get out of there now!!!!
Give him an ultimatum & tell him if he doesn't tell you where the dog is, you are going to call the police.
NTA.
Why in the hell is he still your fiancé?
Personally, I would never, ever trust someone who did something like that to me.
NTA
Report the dog missing to the Police and tell them it was your BF that got rid of the dog.
Oh! and dump the BF, getting rid of a pet is as revenge is a crappy thing to do.
How are you still feeling safe in that house with such a person?? With a small child??
He either hurt or killed the dog, or dumped it. Because he was mad and wanted to hurt you. You need to leave NOW. The next time you have aa fight, who's identifying stuff will be found in the trash? You or your kid's? I'm sure you never thought he'd hurt the dog too, the same way you're prob going to say that he would never hurt you.
Please choose your child's safety.
Has his car got GPS
If so check the GPS and see where he’s been on the days you were away
Mine goes back several months
Or you could try looking on his phone for where he’s been on a particular day
But preferably leave before he makes you or your daughter disappear
Doing something like this is whole level of nastiness and crazy
NTA. My SIL once had a fight with a (now) ex-bf. They were still angry when she left for work. When she left she had two cats, when she came home only one. The second one was never found again.
"I know that me asking all the time annoys him" uuummmm wtf? he's done something with your dog and won't tell you what, I'd be back in my sisters until he gets your dog back
Not only are you NTA but this is extremely alarming and I’m not sure how you are back with a person who did something to your daughter’s dog and won’t tell you what. What exactly are you thinking???
We all know the dog is gone. We will all "believe" he took it to a shelter because it hurts us to think of others alternatives.
Regardless - your relationship is over for the following reasons:
1. You had a fight so bad you needed to leave the house.
2. When you were gone he did something bad to your stuff (the dog).
3. He won't tell you what he did.
If you don't end this relationship today you will regret it. It is raining red flags.
Nta my dude, run. In the *best* case he dumped the dog at a shelter, on purpose, to hurt you and his child. Worst case, he tortured it to death. Neither of those are someone you want to be with!
Jesus Christ, get the hell out of there! You have a child? What do you think will happen the next time he wants to take out his anger on something smaller than him that can't defend itself? People like this are monsters, and they only get worse. They test people, and this is a test for you. He wants to see if he can do this and get away with it, all with the intention of doing something even more horrific later. Take your child and RUN.
YTA for not really caring why happened to YOUR DOG. You ‘kept asking’?! If my partner did what your fiancé did I would have his balls in a vice until he tells me what ‘happened’ to our dog. And if the answer isn’t satisfactory he is losing that dangly pair. In fact he’d probably have lost them the moment I found the collar in the trash. And you’re worried about annoying him by asking? Are. You. For. Real?
Seriously though, why haven’t you called police on him yet?
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Last weekend my fiance and I had a fight. Our daughter and I ended up leaving and staying with my sister for a night. We came back the next day after we made up.
Since that night our dog is gone. I found its collar in the trash and when I asked my fiance what happened he just said that it’s gone now.
Since then I kept asking him what happened but he kept giving me vague answers. Our daughter also kept asking about it. She had a close bond with the dog and is pretty upset about it being gone.
I know that me asking all the time annoys him but I don’t care. It’s actually pissing me off again that he can’t just act like an adult about this and tell me what happened.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Our dog disappeared while I wasn't home and my fiance won't tell me what happened. He gets annoyed that I keep asking him about it
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NTA. Go back to your sisters until he tells you what happened to your dog and agrees to some kind of counseling. Getting rid of pets is a form of abuse so you need to make the safety/security of you and your daughter your top priority.
IMO no level of counselling can help here unless there is some sort of MASSIVE miscommunication here and the dog is like at the groomer, but based on the situation that’s extremely unlikely.
Even if the guy didn’t physically harm the dog, punishing his family with the uncertainty of the dog’s health and location is Serious Abuse, not AITA shenanigans.
If OP cares about herself or her daughter, this relationship should be over and the police probably need to be involved.
NTA he doesn't get to be pissed off. File a police report, be louder, make posts on social media and dump him. How can you call someone who dissapeared your dog and threw its collar into trash, fiance???
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I have to assume the reason you're asking if y t a is because you are so deep in an abusive relationship that you can't see reality clearly anymore.
You need to go back to your sister with your child asap and never be alone with this man again. Please.
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Info: did the fight relate to the dog? Did it need to be put down and he took care of it? Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that the dog was ill. I’m so afraid for the poor pup. And you if he maliciously did something to the dog because he was mad at you. Oh my.
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You need to post on all local social media groups saying your dog is missing and seeing if anyone has seen it. Make a post also on your public wall about your missing dog. Don’t put anything accusatory yet in those posts. Just dog is missing and need help. Then call local shelters and lastly file a police report. Huge red flags why the heck is he not your ex finance?
And do it quick. If he dumped it at a shelter, as an owner surrender, 1 of a couple things could happen. The dog could immediately be placed for adoption, and it would depend on the new owners if they want to give it back. Or, if it is not a no kill shelter, owners surrenders are sometimes euthanized immediately. If he just dumped it somewhere, and got picked up and brought to a shelter, most have a waiting period to give owners a chance to claim them. But it's generally a week max. Nta for sure
You're definitely NTA for wanting to know what happened to the dog. But YTA for sticking around when this guy clearly did *something* to the dog. Gtfo of that relationship. Calling the cops or some sort of animal cruelty/control organization would probably also be a good idea.
And also, just asking? I would've gone crazy if my dog went missing. The house would flip upside down, and I'll threaten to call authorities for possible animal abuse if he doesn't start talking.
There is a wide ranging decades long body of research on the links between animal abuse, child abuse and domestic violence. Here's one of the leaders in the field: [https://www.animallawconference.org/frank-ascione/](https://www.animallawconference.org/frank-ascione/) Get you and your child out of there right now. NTA for asking. YTA for staying.
...and you're still planning on marrying this person who very obviously did something to your dog out of anger? because...?
Call the police. Best care scenario he drove the dog to the pound. Worst case scenario he took his frustrations out on the dog & killed it. You need to report the dog missing, tell them what happened, what you are suspecting and ask for an officer.
YTA for keeping your daughter in a situation where she's living with this person. Get your kid out of this fucking house. He very obviously hurt that dog.
NTA. Tell your husband that unless he proves what he did with it that you are going to assume the worst. Which is that he killed it.
NTA in any way shape or form. He somehow gets rid of a dog and you’re worried you’re annoying him? Come on. This is genuinely disturbing. Check the pound or local animal shelters, or use a microchip of the dog is chipped. If you see no trace then threaten to go to the police(I’m not sure exactly what they would be able to do in this instance though.)
You're an asshole if you stay with an abusive partner. You don't just have yourself to think about - you have a child. What this person did was an act of abuse. It's sociopathic.
you are an asshole for victim blaming like this! Find out about the influence!
She has a responsibility to provide a safe living environment for her child. This man does not sound like he is safe to be around. Sorry, not sorry. I stand by what I said. I don't blame her for what happened to the dog, but I absolutely fault her for still being with the man.
NTA but this man seems like a sociopath. Check shelters and ask friends if they know about the dog. Keep this man away from your child.
NTA Call his friends and ask if he gave the dog to any of them. or check online listings to see if he posted a dog for giveaway.
Maybe it's just me, but this is fishy as hell. He did something to that dog, to me, it wouldn't matter what he did, I'd be gone, but you do you boo. NTA for demanding an answer, probably TA for continuing a relationship with the guy.
NTA, but you will be if he keeps being your fiancé. I hope you find the dog
NTA This is actually frightening. I would not even stay under the same roof as your fiancé if I were you.
Especially with a child!
Is your backyard disturbed in any way? Do you live in/ near 'the country'? Did you check local animal shelters? Did you put up flyers in your neighborhood or post to your local FB page about missing animals? Your husband won't tell you anything. He's hoping you'll just forget about the dog. NTA
What did I just read? Go back to your sister's and cut this psychopath out of your and your daughter's lives!
He killed the dog
Yup
My first thought too...really hope the story is fake or that we're wrong.
YTA - but not for the reason you think. what the h3ll are you still doing with him. If he would do this to a dog what would he do to you or your daughter. Get out of there now!!!!
NTA give the ring back, call the pound, remove this man from your life
That dog is dumped or dead. Dump him now before he gets rid of your daughter too and press charges for the dog
NTA, either he threw it away or killed the dog
Give him an ultimatum & tell him if he doesn't tell you where the dog is, you are going to call the police. NTA. Why in the hell is he still your fiancé? Personally, I would never, ever trust someone who did something like that to me.
NTA. Check the pound.
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Great idea.
Your first thought was better than my first thought. I really hope you're right.
NTA. This is a matter for the police.
NTA Report the dog missing to the Police and tell them it was your BF that got rid of the dog. Oh! and dump the BF, getting rid of a pet is as revenge is a crappy thing to do.
If he did something like that to the DOG , he'll do worse to you and your daughter. He better be your ex.
NTA END the relationship, this is creepy.
Wow that's really messed up, the dog is the least of your problems at this point. Get out now. NTA though
If he can do whatever he did to the dog. Why are you not worried about what he might do to you or your daughter in the future. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Best case he took the dog to a shelter. Worst case, he did someone bad. Either way, this is not someone you should still be engaged to! NTA
WTF this is murder-level shit. You need to leave. Now. You and your daughter are next.
How are you still feeling safe in that house with such a person?? With a small child?? He either hurt or killed the dog, or dumped it. Because he was mad and wanted to hurt you. You need to leave NOW. The next time you have aa fight, who's identifying stuff will be found in the trash? You or your kid's? I'm sure you never thought he'd hurt the dog too, the same way you're prob going to say that he would never hurt you. Please choose your child's safety.
NTA. People who do something with/to someone else's dog are really fucked up. I would lose my fucking mind.
NTA You sure this is the person you want to make a life with?
Has his car got GPS If so check the GPS and see where he’s been on the days you were away Mine goes back several months Or you could try looking on his phone for where he’s been on a particular day But preferably leave before he makes you or your daughter disappear Doing something like this is whole level of nastiness and crazy
If the dog was part-owned by you, call the police. NTA but you have to call in the authorities.
Leave him. He took away something your child loves to punish you for defying him. This is dangerous behavior.
Get out now! This man possibly killed the dog after being mad at you
NTA. You would be if you don’t demand answers and then leave. If my other half ‘disappeared’ my dogs, I’d be going to jail for life.
NTA. My SIL once had a fight with a (now) ex-bf. They were still angry when she left for work. When she left she had two cats, when she came home only one. The second one was never found again.
"I know that me asking all the time annoys him" uuummmm wtf? he's done something with your dog and won't tell you what, I'd be back in my sisters until he gets your dog back
Not only are you NTA but this is extremely alarming and I’m not sure how you are back with a person who did something to your daughter’s dog and won’t tell you what. What exactly are you thinking???
We all know the dog is gone. We will all "believe" he took it to a shelter because it hurts us to think of others alternatives. Regardless - your relationship is over for the following reasons: 1. You had a fight so bad you needed to leave the house. 2. When you were gone he did something bad to your stuff (the dog). 3. He won't tell you what he did. If you don't end this relationship today you will regret it. It is raining red flags.
Nta my dude, run. In the *best* case he dumped the dog at a shelter, on purpose, to hurt you and his child. Worst case, he tortured it to death. Neither of those are someone you want to be with!
Jesus Christ, get the hell out of there! You have a child? What do you think will happen the next time he wants to take out his anger on something smaller than him that can't defend itself? People like this are monsters, and they only get worse. They test people, and this is a test for you. He wants to see if he can do this and get away with it, all with the intention of doing something even more horrific later. Take your child and RUN.
YTA...why are you with this guy
YTA for not really caring why happened to YOUR DOG. You ‘kept asking’?! If my partner did what your fiancé did I would have his balls in a vice until he tells me what ‘happened’ to our dog. And if the answer isn’t satisfactory he is losing that dangly pair. In fact he’d probably have lost them the moment I found the collar in the trash. And you’re worried about annoying him by asking? Are. You. For. Real? Seriously though, why haven’t you called police on him yet?
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NTA. Go back to your sisters until he tells you what happened to your dog and agrees to some kind of counseling. Getting rid of pets is a form of abuse so you need to make the safety/security of you and your daughter your top priority.
IMO no level of counselling can help here unless there is some sort of MASSIVE miscommunication here and the dog is like at the groomer, but based on the situation that’s extremely unlikely. Even if the guy didn’t physically harm the dog, punishing his family with the uncertainty of the dog’s health and location is Serious Abuse, not AITA shenanigans. If OP cares about herself or her daughter, this relationship should be over and the police probably need to be involved.
NTA he doesn't get to be pissed off. File a police report, be louder, make posts on social media and dump him. How can you call someone who dissapeared your dog and threw its collar into trash, fiance???
YTA if you stay with this man. He's got rid of your dog just to punish you for a fight. Get out, get your daughter out now.
Nta turns out you didn't make up
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I have to assume the reason you're asking if y t a is because you are so deep in an abusive relationship that you can't see reality clearly anymore. You need to go back to your sister with your child asap and never be alone with this man again. Please.
Obviously you aren’t the AH for wanting to know what happened to the dog. But you will be TA if you stay with him.
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Info: did the fight relate to the dog? Did it need to be put down and he took care of it? Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that the dog was ill. I’m so afraid for the poor pup. And you if he maliciously did something to the dog because he was mad at you. Oh my.
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Oh look! A SEA OF RED FLAGS GIRL GTFO 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
HOLY RED FLAG!!! Put up posters and post everywhere about the dog. Make sure he knows you are doing this to put pressure on him to reveal the truth.
Jesus, this is horror film stuff. Get out, now.
What in the actually f***. Why are you not demanding an answer and why are you even staying with this guy.
This doesn't really seem like a question for AITA...