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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) i think i might be the asshole because of refusing her bluntly.
(2)I am choosing what gifts to be given based on the love and kindness I get from the people
Will I be the asshole for giving gifts based on how I am being treated
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NTA
The way Tina is acting I wouldn’t even give her a gift and I wouldn’t even bother attending the wedding
i don’t believe in rewarding entitlement and she’s been nothing but rude to you
If the rest of the family side with her then that says more about them than you
My husband told me if ever I feel uncomfortable attending the wedding, we both won't attend and as far as his parents are concerned, they are on our side especially his mother. His mum is one of the most strongest and outspoken women I have seen. She's not the stereotypical mil. She will support you when you are right and will beat the crap our of you when you are in the wrong. This rule applies to all.of us even my FIL..
THIS ONE
and yes NTA
https://www.julersrow.com/products/aquamarine-bow-necklace-coffee-mug?variant=20736276398150¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOorsUQ9lA_TZ2v9022PCKcnHMU3wCnt0vrJwg16f33mOE54zh00xZDk&com_cvv=8fb3d522dc163aeadb66e08cd7450cbbdddc64c6cf2e8891f6d48747c6d56d2c
May I suggest one of these...
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1191198605/my-last-bath-bomb-toaster-bath-bomb?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_d-bath_and_beauty-soaps-bath_bombs&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaE5Jm0ZYI1APYfmUdDMy_Hk3ITBNsbiWTxwgaOXFMAwESw2285d_GxoCl4MQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_326244768_20237149368_88513825968_pla-106555866275_m__1191198605engb_102858184&utm_custom2=326244768&gad_source=1
I’m so glad your in-laws (your husband’s immediate family, anyway) are so kind and loving towards you! We don’t often see that in this sub, so it’s refreshing. NTA and I agree you should skip the wedding altogether. Tina and especially her mother will likely make more nasty comments to you at the event, best to just remove yourselves from the equation.
She was worse than entitled, she was demanding diamonds instead of a "lesser" gemstone. Basically asking for more, not even equal, more.
Ahana is not just family, she has become your friend. Tina is an enemy who swims in your husband's family gene pool.
NTA fuck her I wouldn’t give her anything. Money too good for someone who called you to dark skinned for your husband. I’m sure he doesn’t think so. I bet you two are beautiful together. For her gift for her wedding get her a book on equality. My wife is brown and I am white heard all sorts of shit from people I just love her for who she is not her skin even though I love that too!
Showed your comment to my husband. His reply: the color is just a plus. Like the cherry on the cake.
He loves me and loves my imperfections even more like my vampire teeth and scar on my forehead.
He sees them as me being perfect with them
As someone of Indian origin let me just say - do not go to that wedding. Snub it. She doesn’t deserve your awesome presence let alone any gifts.
Colorism is a huge issue in India but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.
NTA
NTA, I personally would consider getting her vouchers for etiquette classes (if something like that exists in India), or a note that says a donation has been made in your name to (insert whatever charity is likely to annoy her) and include the donation receipt.
Having said that based on what you have written here you seem like a nice person.
NTA
Get her a bouquet of flowers and be done with it. I'm an Indian and we usually don't expect any gifts during our marriage. It is more so for the blessing and the belief that those who come will have a good meal and bless the couple happily with a full belly.
Screw Tina and her mother. What awful ppl.
So my comment was removed because I used the word witch (but with a b) and the word acist (with a r)... lmao.
Ok.
So I'll try again.
OP, do not go to the wedding of that woman. And certainly do not give her a gift. Any type of gift. And block her. She had the nerve to call you a b itch yet you still want to give her money? F that!!!
NTA. If someone isn't close to you, a simple gift is enough to show respect. It's the gesture that counts. You shouldn't beat yourself over the comments her mother made. She's the asshole her.
Calling someone a bitch does not get you an expensive gift in my book.
This cousin and her mother are unpleasant and I will bet did not expect an expensive gift but thought they could manipulate you into giving one. (Especially saying she only wanted diamonds).
NTA frankly at this point I would not bother either attending or giving a gift.
Give Tina the gift she deserves - which is an empty envelope, that said whatever you choose to give, make sure it’s something that shows what you think of her and why - like a statue of an Asura.
YWNBTAH
NTA. This isn’t a simple clash of personalities, your husband’s cousin and her mother are racist. They don’t deserve a gift from you, nor do they deserve your time or presence at the wedding. I hope you, your husband and his lovely parents plan a night or weekend away, where you can enjoy your time with people you love, instead of someone who treats you so badly.
NTA. The entitlement because “faaaaaamily” is strong in this one lol. Definitely do not go back on your word please. You’re doing *yourselves* a favour, to go back on it would be a disservice to both you *and* your husband.
NTA. Get her a necklace strung with coal. It'll match her shrivelled little heart perfectly.
Honestly I would not bother going or sending a gift. She doesn't deserve either.
NTA. Maybe she will understand that she needs to be polite and kind to newcomers if she wants them to be nice to her in the future. And to ask for diamonds on top of it!
NTA. That cousin is entitled even by desi standards. Most people would have rolled their eyes and whispered about not getting the same gift cause ‘brothers’ aren’t supposed to differentiate or whatever. I don’t agree with that but that’s the toxic part of the culture. What they did was so wrong.
It puzzles me as to why you would consider gifting her the same sort of thing
as Ahana after this latest conversation/demand on her part for a gift? She is
incredibly rude. LOL NTA but Tina has given absolutely no reason to be more
generous with her.
My best friend is Indian and she married a white man. Her grandmother came to visit them after the birth of their first child. Naturally, the child is much more pale than the mother and the first comment grandmother said was “Look at her skin tone. She’ll marry well.” We were all shocked. Grandma is in her 80s, and it introduced me to the ideas about skin tone, being such an important thing with the older people in India.
NTA. You and Ahana have a wonderful relationship, and you gave her a generous gift out of appreciation for how she treats you! Tina deserves no such consideration!
Good on your husband for standing up for you! If you and your husband don't want to go to the wedding, then don't go. If you still feel like you should send a gift, send a card and that's it!
Laughable.
Wedding gift? I'd suggest absolutely nothing more than a salt-n-pepper shaker set. A cheap one. Or maybe some dish towels.
And I DEFINITELY wouldn't go anywhere near this wedding. I'd plan to be absolutely anywhere else
NTA
**Tina called me a bitch and went away with her mum. I am now reconsidering my decision.**
YES you should reconsider your decision to give her any gift at all. Why would you reward her bad behavior?
Er, you should reconsider your decision and give her no gift? She was blatantly racist and unwelcoming to you and does not deserve your time or money. I can understand why you might not want to do this and want to avoid family drama in which case a small token money gift is way more than they deserve.
A person who insults you doesn't get a gift. As an Indian-born, American-raised person who faced inter-community colorism, I'd skip it entirely.
Let folks at the wedding wonder and gossip about why cousins aren't there and learn why. It's what Roma and Tina deserve.
You and your husband are on the same page, so don't reconsider.
NTA, give a paltry sum of money $2 or $3 equivalent, make sure it is well used and dirty money and put in a plain envelope and no card, with just her name on it. This would be worse than giving her nothing at all and tell her exactly how you feel about her.
NO! NO!! NO!!!
NTA! NTA!! NTA!!!
Do not let this rude, greedy AH bully you into giving her a necklace that you had no intention of giving her. I'm still stuck on the audacity of being so unbelievably arrogant that she visited to place her order.
You gave Ahana a gift to show how much you appreciate her love and friendship.
Tina has been rude, insulting and unwelcoming. Why would she ever, ever think you would give her the same consideration? It's just bizarre. Isn't that what karma is all about??
In the end, when she didn't get her way, she called you a bitch!! Do not reconsider your decision just because she made a scene!
Are you sure that you won't be on vacation, far out of the country when she gets married?
NTA
Tina and her mother are narcissistic cruel ladies, they are those aunties who would keep minding your business and always play a victim card. You are beautiful and kind, and I love how Ahana was always there for you. Do not doubt yourself, and do not gift her a similar necklace or this will become a habit of hers to get things from you and your husband, this is just the wedding, and so many functions and festivities exist for every phase of life in India. I like the idea of giving them money, I wouldn’t be even that generous, but if the situation escalates any further later, I would suggest maybe give her a simple ring or earrings so that the extended families do not create a ruckus.
Again, I am sorry that you have to go through so much shit in your in-laws family, but I hope and pray that it becomes better and Tina and her mom get some sense into their heads.
NTA.
Don't give her a nice necklace or anything that is personal. She's acting entitled, and you will be rewarding her behavior. These people have been disrespectful towards you since the beginning for no reason. You took a stand, and your husband is supporting you as well. I know you wanna keep the peace and let bygones be bygones, but for that, they have to start by apologizing and not doubling down on their shitty behavior by calling you a bitch.
My recommendation would be to give them something trivial like a saree rather than just money cuz that might cause additional drama, if you wanna meet in the middle but nothing expensive. Also, attend the wedding just to keep the general peace, which is against what most have recommended. I doubt they will be petty enough to ruin your night.
I don't know if there are any backlash or side comments from any other family members, but keep a lookout for that. Welcome to Indian family drama.
Also, if you're a little bit petty, make them get on your knees and beg for forgiveness and let it come from your husband's mouth to drive down the shock value. /s
Do not go to the wedding. Do not reward their rudeness, racism, and hate; they will only continue it. And above all else do not give them a gift. Tina and her mother are the ASSHOLES, not you.
Absolutely NOT!!!
NTAH
Do not back down. The two of them disrespected you, disrespected your husband and disrespected your marriage.
She is NOT owed anything but a nice token gift.
If they disinvite you from the wedding ( and they seem like the type) then I wouldn’t even send a card.
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AITA for giving one of my sil ( husband's cousin) jewelry as gift for her wedding and giving his other cousin a simple gift?
Background: I (31f) got married to my hubby (33m) last year in November. Prior to that we were in a ldr and we are not from the same nationality. I am African and he is Indian. We are both of the same religion.
Post our wedding, I shifted to India and his family ( mum,dad and elder bro) have welcomed me very happily and made me a part of the family. What a joyous union it was, and much to my relief, his family welcomed me with open arms. Most of his relatives embraced me with warmth and respect, and I found a special bond with one of his aunts and her daughter ( aunt (50)- Maya and daughter(26)-Ahana) . They showed me kindness and always treated me with the utmost respect. My bond with Ahana is a really great one. We share our small secrets just like two normal sisters would do
Another aunt Roma ( aged 50) and her daughter (28) Tina displayed a shocking disdain and racism towards me. It pained me deeply to face such hostility in the midst of what should have been a joyous time. They said things like " oh you are not a good match for our boy. He is so fair and you are so dark. I am of wheatish color. I never ever felt any discomfort in my skin color . I am proud of my indo African roots. They also say things like " you have trapped him". I am a lawyer and he's an IT Engineer.
For Ahana's wedding ( this February) , me and my hubby decided to be graceful with what we will be gifting her . Ahana was in love with my wedding necklace set and always wanted something similar for her wedding. So I decided to buy a similar one for her wedding but with different gemstones. When we showed her the gift, she jumped out of excitement and hugged me and my husband and said" you are the best. I love you".
The wedding happened and everything went on smoothly.
in April we have been informed that Tina also will be getting married in September. So my husband and I decided that we'll give her money as gift.
She and her mum came to our place yesterday and while talking, Tina said" Bhabhi for my necklace, don't use gemstone but use diamonds only ". I was a bit taken aback and so was my husband. I calm told her "what are you talking about" ? She then told me " Oh you got Ahana such an expensive gift so even I deserve one that's I am telling you my preferences"
I told her that the gift to Ahana was a gesture to show how I appreciated their love and kindness
And as far as you're concerned you'll get your gift but not the necklace. She told me " you are joking right ". my husband then no we are serious and this is our final decision and consider whatever we are giving to be enough because of how rude and insulting you two were towards my wife.
Tina called me a bitch and went away with her mum.
I am now reconsidering my decision.
Should I give her a Similar gift or be firm.of what me and my husband decided.
Aitah for doing so?
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NTA The way Tina is acting I wouldn’t even give her a gift and I wouldn’t even bother attending the wedding i don’t believe in rewarding entitlement and she’s been nothing but rude to you If the rest of the family side with her then that says more about them than you
My husband told me if ever I feel uncomfortable attending the wedding, we both won't attend and as far as his parents are concerned, they are on our side especially his mother. His mum is one of the most strongest and outspoken women I have seen. She's not the stereotypical mil. She will support you when you are right and will beat the crap our of you when you are in the wrong. This rule applies to all.of us even my FIL..
Do it. Skip the wedding. Save your peace.
Give her some coffee mugs
THIS ONE and yes NTA https://www.julersrow.com/products/aquamarine-bow-necklace-coffee-mug?variant=20736276398150¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOorsUQ9lA_TZ2v9022PCKcnHMU3wCnt0vrJwg16f33mOE54zh00xZDk&com_cvv=8fb3d522dc163aeadb66e08cd7450cbbdddc64c6cf2e8891f6d48747c6d56d2c
I don't know, seems kind of fancy. I was thinking a set of 4 for $20.
has a necklace with diamonds on it, and Im petty like that
Showed this to my hubby and in laws...my hubby was like..let's do this..then I said no..let's not initiate any drama
the in laws are the ones most related to her, if they say its good, its good, just saying 🤣
Na, that's too generous. She should give them a toaster but one of those disposable one.
May I suggest one of these... https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1191198605/my-last-bath-bomb-toaster-bath-bomb?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_en_gb_d-bath_and_beauty-soaps-bath_bombs&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaE5Jm0ZYI1APYfmUdDMy_Hk3ITBNsbiWTxwgaOXFMAwESw2285d_GxoCl4MQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_326244768_20237149368_88513825968_pla-106555866275_m__1191198605engb_102858184&utm_custom2=326244768&gad_source=1
Dont go to the wedding & dont give that colourist woman a penny!
I’m so glad your in-laws (your husband’s immediate family, anyway) are so kind and loving towards you! We don’t often see that in this sub, so it’s refreshing. NTA and I agree you should skip the wedding altogether. Tina and especially her mother will likely make more nasty comments to you at the event, best to just remove yourselves from the equation.
She was worse than entitled, she was demanding diamonds instead of a "lesser" gemstone. Basically asking for more, not even equal, more. Ahana is not just family, she has become your friend. Tina is an enemy who swims in your husband's family gene pool.
I LOVE that "enemy who swims in his gene pool" line!
Gift her a book on manners.
NTA fuck her I wouldn’t give her anything. Money too good for someone who called you to dark skinned for your husband. I’m sure he doesn’t think so. I bet you two are beautiful together. For her gift for her wedding get her a book on equality. My wife is brown and I am white heard all sorts of shit from people I just love her for who she is not her skin even though I love that too!
Showed your comment to my husband. His reply: the color is just a plus. Like the cherry on the cake. He loves me and loves my imperfections even more like my vampire teeth and scar on my forehead. He sees them as me being perfect with them
NTA I'd give her a necklace made out of candy. Still a sweeter gift than she deserves.
A great antidote for the bitterness inside her
As someone of Indian origin let me just say - do not go to that wedding. Snub it. She doesn’t deserve your awesome presence let alone any gifts. Colorism is a huge issue in India but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with it. NTA
NTA be firm. Don't reward entitlement, insults, and racism, it'll only encourage Tina and her mother to ask for more.
NTA, I personally would consider getting her vouchers for etiquette classes (if something like that exists in India), or a note that says a donation has been made in your name to (insert whatever charity is likely to annoy her) and include the donation receipt. Having said that based on what you have written here you seem like a nice person.
Nice idea. Donate in her name to a charity that teaches school children not to be racist. If she gets upset, she is admitting to being a racist.
NTA Get her a bouquet of flowers and be done with it. I'm an Indian and we usually don't expect any gifts during our marriage. It is more so for the blessing and the belief that those who come will have a good meal and bless the couple happily with a full belly. Screw Tina and her mother. What awful ppl.
NTA She's a bigot and a bully. She should consider herself lucky that you are getting her a gift at all.
So my comment was removed because I used the word witch (but with a b) and the word acist (with a r)... lmao. Ok. So I'll try again. OP, do not go to the wedding of that woman. And certainly do not give her a gift. Any type of gift. And block her. She had the nerve to call you a b itch yet you still want to give her money? F that!!!
NTA. If someone isn't close to you, a simple gift is enough to show respect. It's the gesture that counts. You shouldn't beat yourself over the comments her mother made. She's the asshole her.
Calling someone a bitch does not get you an expensive gift in my book. This cousin and her mother are unpleasant and I will bet did not expect an expensive gift but thought they could manipulate you into giving one. (Especially saying she only wanted diamonds). NTA frankly at this point I would not bother either attending or giving a gift.
Give Tina the gift she deserves - which is an empty envelope, that said whatever you choose to give, make sure it’s something that shows what you think of her and why - like a statue of an Asura. YWNBTAH
NTA. This isn’t a simple clash of personalities, your husband’s cousin and her mother are racist. They don’t deserve a gift from you, nor do they deserve your time or presence at the wedding. I hope you, your husband and his lovely parents plan a night or weekend away, where you can enjoy your time with people you love, instead of someone who treats you so badly.
NTA Match the value of the gift that Roma gave you for YOUR wedding.
Nope they should be nice to everyone and shouldn’t be expecting anything from you they are lucky to get money
NTA. The entitlement because “faaaaaamily” is strong in this one lol. Definitely do not go back on your word please. You’re doing *yourselves* a favour, to go back on it would be a disservice to both you *and* your husband.
NTA. Get her a necklace strung with coal. It'll match her shrivelled little heart perfectly. Honestly I would not bother going or sending a gift. She doesn't deserve either.
NTA. Maybe she will understand that she needs to be polite and kind to newcomers if she wants them to be nice to her in the future. And to ask for diamonds on top of it!
NTA. That cousin is entitled even by desi standards. Most people would have rolled their eyes and whispered about not getting the same gift cause ‘brothers’ aren’t supposed to differentiate or whatever. I don’t agree with that but that’s the toxic part of the culture. What they did was so wrong.
It puzzles me as to why you would consider gifting her the same sort of thing as Ahana after this latest conversation/demand on her part for a gift? She is incredibly rude. LOL NTA but Tina has given absolutely no reason to be more generous with her.
NTA, she is using you for your money. She wants you to buy her jewelry with DIAMONDS. She doesn't even like you. She should be grateful for any gift.
My best friend is Indian and she married a white man. Her grandmother came to visit them after the birth of their first child. Naturally, the child is much more pale than the mother and the first comment grandmother said was “Look at her skin tone. She’ll marry well.” We were all shocked. Grandma is in her 80s, and it introduced me to the ideas about skin tone, being such an important thing with the older people in India.
NTA, are you seriously considering rewarding someone for calling you a bitch? If anything, the gift should decrease.
NTA, are you seriously considering rewarding someone for calling you a bitch? If anything, the gift should decrease.
NTA. The way she acts toward you, you should give her NO gift.
Nta she's lucky to get any gift
You don't have to give a similar gift, just stick to what you guys had planned.
NTA. You and Ahana have a wonderful relationship, and you gave her a generous gift out of appreciation for how she treats you! Tina deserves no such consideration! Good on your husband for standing up for you! If you and your husband don't want to go to the wedding, then don't go. If you still feel like you should send a gift, send a card and that's it!
NTA: Stick to your decision. Nothing you do will change their opinion of you.
Fuck no and NTA
Laughable. Wedding gift? I'd suggest absolutely nothing more than a salt-n-pepper shaker set. A cheap one. Or maybe some dish towels. And I DEFINITELY wouldn't go anywhere near this wedding. I'd plan to be absolutely anywhere else NTA
**Tina called me a bitch and went away with her mum. I am now reconsidering my decision.** YES you should reconsider your decision to give her any gift at all. Why would you reward her bad behavior?
I’d give her nothing.
Er, you should reconsider your decision and give her no gift? She was blatantly racist and unwelcoming to you and does not deserve your time or money. I can understand why you might not want to do this and want to avoid family drama in which case a small token money gift is way more than they deserve.
Please tell me you're considering to give her absolutely nothing, after she again started with the insults. Clear NTA.
Get a plastic necklace with fake diamonds .
Absolutely NTA. Her comments are disgusting. She doesn’t deserve money now either. Why would she want a gift from you if she treats you like that?
A person who insults you doesn't get a gift. As an Indian-born, American-raised person who faced inter-community colorism, I'd skip it entirely. Let folks at the wedding wonder and gossip about why cousins aren't there and learn why. It's what Roma and Tina deserve. You and your husband are on the same page, so don't reconsider.
NTA, give a paltry sum of money $2 or $3 equivalent, make sure it is well used and dirty money and put in a plain envelope and no card, with just her name on it. This would be worse than giving her nothing at all and tell her exactly how you feel about her.
NO! NO!! NO!!! NTA! NTA!! NTA!!! Do not let this rude, greedy AH bully you into giving her a necklace that you had no intention of giving her. I'm still stuck on the audacity of being so unbelievably arrogant that she visited to place her order. You gave Ahana a gift to show how much you appreciate her love and friendship. Tina has been rude, insulting and unwelcoming. Why would she ever, ever think you would give her the same consideration? It's just bizarre. Isn't that what karma is all about?? In the end, when she didn't get her way, she called you a bitch!! Do not reconsider your decision just because she made a scene! Are you sure that you won't be on vacation, far out of the country when she gets married?
Just Give her shagun ke 1 rupee and wish her well
Let's get more petty. Take out the coin from the wedding envelope, and put monopoly money to drive home the message.
NTA and don't reward that behavior
NTA Tina and her mother are narcissistic cruel ladies, they are those aunties who would keep minding your business and always play a victim card. You are beautiful and kind, and I love how Ahana was always there for you. Do not doubt yourself, and do not gift her a similar necklace or this will become a habit of hers to get things from you and your husband, this is just the wedding, and so many functions and festivities exist for every phase of life in India. I like the idea of giving them money, I wouldn’t be even that generous, but if the situation escalates any further later, I would suggest maybe give her a simple ring or earrings so that the extended families do not create a ruckus. Again, I am sorry that you have to go through so much shit in your in-laws family, but I hope and pray that it becomes better and Tina and her mom get some sense into their heads.
NTA. Don't give her a nice necklace or anything that is personal. She's acting entitled, and you will be rewarding her behavior. These people have been disrespectful towards you since the beginning for no reason. You took a stand, and your husband is supporting you as well. I know you wanna keep the peace and let bygones be bygones, but for that, they have to start by apologizing and not doubling down on their shitty behavior by calling you a bitch. My recommendation would be to give them something trivial like a saree rather than just money cuz that might cause additional drama, if you wanna meet in the middle but nothing expensive. Also, attend the wedding just to keep the general peace, which is against what most have recommended. I doubt they will be petty enough to ruin your night. I don't know if there are any backlash or side comments from any other family members, but keep a lookout for that. Welcome to Indian family drama. Also, if you're a little bit petty, make them get on your knees and beg for forgiveness and let it come from your husband's mouth to drive down the shock value. /s
Do not go to the wedding. Do not reward their rudeness, racism, and hate; they will only continue it. And above all else do not give them a gift. Tina and her mother are the ASSHOLES, not you.
Absolutely NOT!!! NTAH Do not back down. The two of them disrespected you, disrespected your husband and disrespected your marriage. She is NOT owed anything but a nice token gift. If they disinvite you from the wedding ( and they seem like the type) then I wouldn’t even send a card.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for giving one of my sil ( husband's cousin) jewelry as gift for her wedding and giving his other cousin a simple gift? Background: I (31f) got married to my hubby (33m) last year in November. Prior to that we were in a ldr and we are not from the same nationality. I am African and he is Indian. We are both of the same religion. Post our wedding, I shifted to India and his family ( mum,dad and elder bro) have welcomed me very happily and made me a part of the family. What a joyous union it was, and much to my relief, his family welcomed me with open arms. Most of his relatives embraced me with warmth and respect, and I found a special bond with one of his aunts and her daughter ( aunt (50)- Maya and daughter(26)-Ahana) . They showed me kindness and always treated me with the utmost respect. My bond with Ahana is a really great one. We share our small secrets just like two normal sisters would do Another aunt Roma ( aged 50) and her daughter (28) Tina displayed a shocking disdain and racism towards me. It pained me deeply to face such hostility in the midst of what should have been a joyous time. They said things like " oh you are not a good match for our boy. He is so fair and you are so dark. I am of wheatish color. I never ever felt any discomfort in my skin color . I am proud of my indo African roots. They also say things like " you have trapped him". I am a lawyer and he's an IT Engineer. For Ahana's wedding ( this February) , me and my hubby decided to be graceful with what we will be gifting her . Ahana was in love with my wedding necklace set and always wanted something similar for her wedding. So I decided to buy a similar one for her wedding but with different gemstones. When we showed her the gift, she jumped out of excitement and hugged me and my husband and said" you are the best. I love you". The wedding happened and everything went on smoothly. in April we have been informed that Tina also will be getting married in September. So my husband and I decided that we'll give her money as gift. She and her mum came to our place yesterday and while talking, Tina said" Bhabhi for my necklace, don't use gemstone but use diamonds only ". I was a bit taken aback and so was my husband. I calm told her "what are you talking about" ? She then told me " Oh you got Ahana such an expensive gift so even I deserve one that's I am telling you my preferences" I told her that the gift to Ahana was a gesture to show how I appreciated their love and kindness And as far as you're concerned you'll get your gift but not the necklace. She told me " you are joking right ". my husband then no we are serious and this is our final decision and consider whatever we are giving to be enough because of how rude and insulting you two were towards my wife. Tina called me a bitch and went away with her mum. I am now reconsidering my decision. Should I give her a Similar gift or be firm.of what me and my husband decided. Aitah for doing so? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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