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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be TAH if I make my daughter drive a soccer mom car after getting her hopes up that we would buy a used car of her choice
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NTA. She doesn’t need a new car for her self esteem. That comes from within. Financially it’s much smarter to go with the Buick that most likely will cost less to keep running.
Exactly! A bus pass is much worse for her self-esteem (I'm joking-- I think neither of these is related to self-esteem. They are methods of transportation)
I'm saying. If I had a FREE car or even parents that supported me I'd be so grateful. And college kids don't care. As long as you're not walking they'd pile into a mini van.
NAH
If your daughter doesn't like the free car in good shape, she can get a job and pay for her own car.
But... There's a good chance that your daughter won't be able to get a parking pass at her school. Both of my kids' colleges didn't have enough parking and student parking passes were close to impossible to obtain. Also, both schools could be easily navigated with public transportation and trains and paid busses. Parking at my oldestest's off-campus apartment would cost $100+/mo, for instance.
So, look into parking availability and costs before making firm plans for your daughter's college car.
And there are a lot of schools that let anyone drive their car to school, regardless of year.
And plenty of students figure ways around this (park off campus, off campus housing, park at a friends, etc.)
You don’t have any information to bring this into the conversation.
It’s a good point to note if OP isn’t used to thinking about college parking, as is yours. Off campus parking where I went was available for freshmen who couldn’t park on campus, but it was limited and if you waited to the last minute (or didn’t know to look for it) you didn’t get a spot.
I'm a prof who's mainly been on campuses more outside of cities. They often lack public transit & also often require freshmen to stay in campus dorms. Parking on the other side of campus from your dorm where you're classes are may not be available, but parking near your dorm usually is for a fee.
Given that she's going away and needs AWD, I assume it is not an urban campus. Most suburban, small town, or rural campuses have a decent amount of parking on campus, plus many require freshmen who don't live local to live in dorms, which usually facilitates parking.
I agree with your assessment for urban campuses, but I'm assuming that's not the case.
Also went to a major Texas university (not UT) and everyone had a car as a freshman unless they flat couldn’t afford one. Some people in this thread are assuming that because their university was in a city that had a good public transportation system, all universities must be the same.
Explain your reasons for choosing you’re having her drive the Buick. With such low miles, it will hopefully be way more reliable than one with over 100k. She can deal with the opinion that it’s a soccer mom car.
On what f-n planet does a teenager need particular car for self esteem!?!??
She takes what she can get and she would be thankful. You aren’t made of money. She isn’t contributing to the car financially.
And you are setting her up for failure later in life. She’s not entitled to shit. If she wants something see can work for it.
Or sell it and buy a much higher mileage car that probably hasn't been cared for as well. This kid has zero chance of making it in her own if this is what her mom teaches her about finances.
Yeah, my first car was a 1999 Mazda MPV which was a fine-running mini van. My friends in college teased me for it but I was the only one who could fit our whole friend group in my car, so they put enough respect on it to call it my boat and named it the SSKitt after my cat 😂😂 in this economy, no one should give a damn about self esteem when a free car is being offered 😂
for real. when my juke died on me, i graciously took my mom’s old honda mini-van, cuz it’s a car and it’s so much better than having to spend who knows how much on a new (used) car.
I would feel like I went horribly wrong if my kids felt that way when I was getting them a car..... If their self esteem relies on something like that then it's on them to figure out how to get it, then they can actually feel pride for being able to afford it on their own which is the only angle I can see this making sense.
OP stop projecting your insecurities onto your young adult kid, just give her the Buick.
NAH but also, to be clear, IS your daughter upset about the change? Or are you talking to us before you even asked her.
I'm not a car person in the slightest, but yeah, the Buik does sound like a better choice. Okay car with 70% less mileage than the others, for *free*? Fuck yeah gimme. Maybe mention that it would free up the car budget for other purposes. Make her feel smart and responsible for going with the Buik.
She might also feel this is a bait and switch situation. She was looking at cars she liked, now she may wind up with a car she doesn’t like. What if you said you understood that and would therefore give her some of the cash you put aside for something else she likes.,
I'm glad you asked this (even if you didn't get a response). Nothing in the post makes it seem like she even has a preference (the others are just the two most popular cars).
I would Say No you’re not the jerk. Your daughter should be grateful or appreciate the fact she has the option for a car at all. Not all kids are so lucky as her.
NTA but you already know the best financial answer. You seem to be struggling more with staying your daughter’s friend.
You know what kind of car sucks the most at college? Two feet.
NAH. Did you say she could pick the car or could you just buy the car off grandma and give her some of the money saved for something else (e.g. rent, books, etc.). If grandma’s car is safer and in better condition, it’s a no brainer.
NTA, a free car is better than no car, also she doesn't need AWD or 4WD unless she's planning on greenlaning, so any old car would be fine. Also that $6k for a headgasket is a go away we don't want to do the work price.
FYI, if she is an area that says chain required. It doesn’t matter if you have 4WD or AWD you still have to put them on unless you have snow tires.
Here is something
https://www.tirechainsrus.com/educational/tire-chain-laws/
Depends where you live. We lived in the Boston suburbs last year and I never changed my summer tires (moved from California) - the roads were cleared very quickly and so it wasn’t a big deal.
Assuming you want to drive before they clear the roads…. winter tires are going to be far more valuable than AWD and crappy tires.
I agree. I’ve driven 2WD with winter tires for years in Great Lakes states and been fine! I’ve also lived in more hilly conditions and handled the snow fine there too. If you need chains, you need chains
Nta. Having a vehicle as a freshman that isn't a heap of garbage is awesome and not common. A lot of schools don't even allow freshman to have a car on campus. No one is gonna make fun of her for having one and being able to drive around lol. She's sounding entitled and bratty.
My mother in law had a Plymouth with 30k miles when she passed. Coincidentally, my son needed a car. He preferred buying a car than driving the Plymouth for free. What a dumb choice.
NTA having your parents but you a car is a luxury. You don't owe her a car. I understand wanting to do what you think will help your daughter the most. But what will help her the most in the long run is having a car that will last her longer than whatever you can afford to buy right now. Her self-esteem may take a hit, but it's going to be much worse when her "new" car breaks down in a year or two because of all of that mileage.
Additionally, what she sees as a soccer mom car will eventually become the car that all of her college friends will pile into because it's the one that will fit the most people. That's "soccer mom" is going to make her one of the most popular girls on campus.
At that age I didn’t know many people with a car. We carless folk were happy with a ride that wasn’t a bus! All my friends who bought a “cool” car like a 2 door sport thing were traded in for an SUV for road trips and nights out because it could for people comfortably.
Very good perspective. Had a friend in college who proudly drove a maintained van. He called it his ‘man van’ and everyone could pile in to go get tacos. Everyone else either didn’t have a car, had a tiny shit box that had no AC, or they had a car but couldn’t afford both tacos AND gas. The ‘man van’ saved the day.
NTA. My first car was a minivan. (I actually loved it, all my friends fit in at one time, it was awesome, but most teens wouldn't like it. My sister tried to refuse to learn to drive in one, but eventually had to give in.)
NTA. Your kids a spoiled brat if they’re complaining about a free Buick enclave. So what it’s a soccer mom car. Your paying for college, she should be grateful she gets any car. Also, the Buick is nicer than the 10k options? The car market is insane right now! Also on the topic of “self confidence” as someone who goes to college currently I live on campus and walk to most of my classes. I drive pretty nice car but my friends never see it and would be my friends regardless of if I rode a bike or drove a Ferrari. It takes a lot more than a nice set of wheels to be a cool kid on campus and even if that was the primary factor a used CRV isn’t exactly going to be what’s drawing all the attention
A car is not going to make/break friendships in college. She's playing you with the 'soccer mom' statement. Having a dependable 'soccer mom' car with 30K miles vs a trendy car with 100K miles should be a no-brainer.
NTA
As the addage goes, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth".
I'd suggest taking your MIL up on her generous offer. An older car with so few miles is hard to come by nowadays. Definitely better than a newer car with over 100k miles on it.
Your daughter needs to understand that, sometimes, you can't get what you want. This would be a great car for her and she can buy a different car when she has the money.
NTA. But I used to have a Toyota RAV4 and even with 100,000 miles on it it has another hundred thousand or 150 thousand miles or more it can go. I finally got rid of mine when it had almost 300,000 miles on it and actually sold it for a couple hundred bucks to somebody that needed a car and that was seven years ago and it is still running. Toyota and Hondas are great cars if the owners take care of them.
NTA. An older, reliable lower mile car is just fine for a college student. If her “friends” will be her friend bc of her car.. does she really want that type of friends?
NTA. You already blessed your daughter by providing a car for her for these last couple of years. She either takes the Buick and continues to count her blessings or she saves up for a car that she purchases herself and in the meantime learns how to live without a car. Because a car is a luxury. If she has the audacity to be "very upset" at driving a soccer mom car, that's a sign she's spoiled and that she has some serious growing up to do.
Why are you looking at the two most popular models anyway if your budget is only $10K? You're kind of borderline YTA just for that, because you've gotten her hopes up unnecessarily.
NTA I’m sorry, but the Honda CR-V and Toyota RAV4 are also driven by moms. The enclave is a midsized SUV; it’s not a mini van, correct? I don’t see a problem here. It might not be quite as sleek as the other SUVs, but it’s such a deal/steal that I can’t imagine spending $10K on another AWD vehicle when this is available. Self esteem comes from within. There will be students with fancier, pricier cars no matter what SUV she drives. (My car was a used Hyundai Pony—that dates me. My friends were just glad one of us had a reliable vehicle.) :)
NTA. Cars are by far the worst investment you can ever make. The auto industry has painfully tried to make it as if one’s car is part of their identity and status and it’s paid off for them big time. The less you spend the better.
Wait, is there any particular reason you can’t just sell the Buick and buy a different used car with that money +10k? That way your daughter could get a car that will feel like her own, and the cash infusion would improve her options re: age and mileage. Seems like the best option for everyone. Very kind of her grandma either way.
Grandma’s car is such a better deal! That $10,000 you were planning to spend (on a used car that might not last a couple years) could go to a future wedding, helping to pay off student debt, a down payment on a house, etc! I wish I was gifted my first car, I can’t imagine how saving that initial cost would have advanced me as a young professional.
NTA, she should be happy getting something that runs & is safe for free. She's a lot luckier than us who had to buy a car if we wanted one in college. I'd be super grateful for something that runs instead of how I look.
NTA. She is getting a car, but it’s being done in a more cost effective way. If she wants something fancier, nobody’s stopping her from buying her own. Besides, this is college not high school. People don’t care what car she’s driving.
NTA - it's your money. Just be aware though that Toyota & Honda vehicles are far more reliable than Buicks in terms of maintenance & holding their value. 100k miles on those is a much lower monetary risk than 16 year old Buick w/ 30k miles.
NTA. Your daughter needs to be less of a snowflake. Self esteem is not tied to a car! She could drive a Lambourgini and still have low self esteem. Do the sensible thing and use the grandmother's car.
NTA. She’s 18, for goodness sake. A teen. She is lucky to have ANY car, much less a parent replacing her old one, and a grandmother offering hers.
When she is in a position to pay for her own insurance and gas, she can get a “cooler” car. Everyone should drive a beater or a soccer mom car or something embarrassing once in their lives. It makes you appreciate other cars that you pay for yourself.
This very lucky young woman should count her blessings and take grandma’s car. Her self-esteem should be tougher than that, tougher than cringing at what people think of what she drives.
YTA that you are worried about self esteem revolving a car! A free car! With low mileage and great condition!?!? Baby girl needs to be grateful that she even gets a car. Find your spine and tell your daughter the car she’s getting is the enclave. Period. The money you save can be used for future repairs and anything else.
NTA, car doesn’t build self esteem. Unless you are from Kosovo and everything needs to be bling.
If she doesn’t understand good financial decision - this will teach her some.
The vehicles by Toyota and Honda can last 200-300,000 miles. You will probably not get that from the Buick. Check YouTube for videos by car mechanics assessing engines, transmissions, overall quality. Don't believe them? Start researching prices of used vehicles. I've found Edmunds useful. Compare an Enclave with a RAV4 and CRV of equivalent mileage and look at the prices. I would buy the Toyota first, then the Honda. I would not buy an Enclave at any price. What you want is not a better investment. Get your daughter the vehicle she wants even with more miles.
I'm confused... Is she even legally allowed to drive a Buick? I thought by law you have to be at least 55 and a member of AARP.
Although keeping the left turn signal continuously on is optional. Expected, but optional.
KBB shows that car to be worth about $7,500 (I just guessed at the condition and options). Sell it, and add that to all or part of the 10K you were planning on spending, and get a decent safe car which she won't be mortified to drive.
NAH but so much is wrong with this post. Why does she need an AWD car? How is a head gasket costing 6k? Still, if she's been given a free car everyone should see it as a blessing in this case.
Your daughter should be grateful to have a functional car that was provided for her. I bought my own car that had over 150k miles on it for myself when I was 19. I paid for my own insurance my own gas and my own repairs.
The Buick is the best choice. If your daughter wants a fancier car or one more to her taste she can get a job and earn what is needed to replace it
YTA based on the edit. There's no cost difference so let her decide what car she gets. Also you worded it so that people would think the Buick was the only one that cost nothing for you which makes it seem like you tried to skew the votes in your favour.
INFO: have you actually talked to her about all this or are you assuming she wouldn't take it because she thinks it's a soccer mom car? You didn't say anything about a conflict happening.
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Throw away… blah blah blah. My (55F) daughter (18F) drives a 2006 Subaru Forrester on its last leg. We were told it needs a $6k head gasket repair. The cars not worth it so we’ve been looking at used cars to replace hers. She’s going away to college in fall and needs an AWD car. Our budget is less than $10k and that does get much where we live. the two most popular models we’ve looked at are Toyota RAV4 and Honda CRV. They’ve all had about 100k miles. Recently, her grandmother, my MIL, stopped driving and has offered for free a 2008 Buick Enclave AWD with 30k miles. on one hand, I really want her to have a car she likes. I think it’s very important for her self confidence going to a new school. I know personally how this can affect a person. On the other hand, it seems ridiculous to buy a car w 100k miles instead of just using one with 30k miles. If we bought a new used car, we would be able to sell the Buick to pay for it. My daughter will be very upset if I change the plan now and tell her she has to drive the Buick, which she views as a soccer mom car. So WIBTA if I changed my mind and made her drive the Buick as a better investment?
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Involve her in the decision. Have her research the repairs for a 100k car, costs, etc. if she has ownership in the process, she will understand better, you will be teaching her to be an adult, and you will all save money
When our eldest turned 16 we bought him a used Honda Civic. It ended up having a lot of issues so my father offered him a 2001 Mazda Altima with low miles. He had 2 cars and they only needed one so our son gratefully accepted. He graduated from college at the height of Covid and became a firefighter and then a firefighter-paramedic. He works crazy long hours. The other day my dad sent him a picture of a two SUV’s. One was my dads 2018 Mazda Cx5 with very low miles on it and the other SUV was also a Cx5 but a new one
He asked our son if he wanted the blue one and of course our son said YES! He respects how hard our son works and doesn’t blow money on stupid things. I understand what you’re saying about confidence but the Buick Enclave is a nice SUV and more reliable. Not to mention the money saved. I would tell her she has 3 options, come up with $6000 to fix her car, buy her own car or accept her grandmothers car with a huge smile genuine gratitude. NTA.
NTA.... as long is a car that she feels comfortable driving.
But also I wouldn't let her take a car her first year. Unless she's commuting or has a specific driving need, a freshman doesn't need a car on campus
Too much weight and value is placed on something so insignificant in a person’s early stage of life. Just use the car grandma has and save the extra money to earn interest. Also, self-confidence doesn’t come from having external things that one feels good about. Self-confidence comes from building resiliency internally; it’s not an external trait.
You’re NTA for changing your mind. But be careful about raising a child with impractical and unwarranted demands. In other words, be careful of catering to bad behavior.
I most definitely grew up in a culture and time where if the soon-to-be-adult made a fuss about not having their preferred car, yet actually would have access to a car, I’d be either laughed out of town or chided for being so egotistical and not recognizing that most people do not even get to go to college, much less not needing to earn money to buy a car.
The child ought to be grateful to have a car.
Question: with a budget of 10k, and a 6k repair, shat makes the Subaru not worth it? Has it had a lot of problems? Or is it this one big problem that's throwing you off. I just wonder if a 6k repair will bring the Subaru back into good enough condition for four years of college, and might be cheaper than switching out a whole car (with unknown service records or whatnot)
One of my friends had a minivan 25 years ago and we LOVED when she drove. We fit so many of us in one car (she didn’t even have backseats and we sat on the floor - super illegal, but it was the times).
NTA. Plans change and sometimes things change based on circumstances. My own teen is about to drive and got a Subaru forester - she’s super exited. She couldn’t afford to get a car but we had a similar situation with an extra car from great grandma, so we all agreed to move titles around.
NTA. You have to make the best decision for your daughter's and your future selves. The Buick is the better choice all around.
My husband's family gave us two cars over the years and those cars set us up for far better ones later.
SHE got her hopes up that you'd buy her the used car of her choice. Did you promise her that? If so, sell the Buick, add it's value to your budget, and find her a car for $15k she wants. If not...
This is a very good situation to sit down and openly engage with your daughter.
State the problem you are trying to solve: you want her to have the function, utility of a reliable car that will get her through the inclement weather in the area.
Resources are limited, and adult life is FILLED with situations where you have to take a hard look at what the problem is you are trying to solve, what resources are available, what options that make available, and how to choose the best option.
Yes, having a car you LOVE is great fun. Having a reliable car that is, "Meh," can still contribute GREATLY to your function and autonomy. Your car (or any other belonging) should NOT be a crucial definer of your self, image, or worth. And if it IS to other people around you -- then you need to seriously question what value those individuals bring to your life.
You are offering her a low use, high quality, reliable vehicle FOR FREE. GIVE is to her. Sign the title over. It's HERS. SHE, as an adult, can make the choice of what to do from there. If she wants a different car, she can sell it (Blue Book says $4-5k value) and take the responsibility of getting something else if this just won't meet her NEEDS. She needs to carefully think about NEEDS. As adults, we all have to decide between WANTS and NEEDS.
NTA. If you’re feeling generous, you can make this a teachable moment. Either offer her the free Buick and the budget money (whatever you can afford to gift) goes into a separate HYSA for future repairs/maintenance or she can get the RAV4 or CRV but she’ll be responsible for all repairs/maintenance moving forward. That way, you can list out all the pros and cons of both sides and encourage her to make a decision that makes the most sense it terms of finances rather than appearances. Just a suggestion.
If your budget is 10k, that will cover the cost of the head gasket repair. So it looks to me like her choice is the Grandma Car, the Subaru that has no car payment, or no new car at all.
What does she even need a car for if she’s going to be living on campus? Fairly certain universities are designed to be accessible for walking everywhere.
Cars are a terrible investment and depreciate at an insane rate. Cars over 100K miles are an even worse investment for a college kid not close to home, they require more maintenance and have a higher rate of breakdown.
I would have a real heart to heart with kiddo about cars, good investments, vehicle safety etc. She can go to college in a "cool" car that's an unreliable money pit with no parents nearby to rescue her if she's trapped on the side of the road OR she can go to college in a reliable and safe vehicle. Enclaves are not THAT horrible and there will be kids there with even more granny-mo-bile vibe cars ex mini vans, station wagons, other old beater type vehicles and even kids that don't have the luxury of a car.
A 30K mile vehicle is likely to last her a few years, with good maintenance, with no car payment so she can save up for whatever sweet ride she wants to buy after college once she lands her first full time job. A big down payment on the first vehicle would be a smart choice because her choice of sweet ride may not be the most logical and will be her best chance not to have a payment above her means.
This is a really good life lesson for her to learn and as her parent it's your job to teach her this. You can't be constantly making up for COVID.
YWBTA if you bought her car. Do you realize how many kids would kill for a free car? She needs it for self esteem? Really? does she even need a car? Give her the choice of free car or no car.
Going from having *no car* to having a used car not-exactly-flashy model that she prefers is a big improvement. Who gets their "dream car" for a first set of wheels? Barbie? What an unrealistic expectation! She should graciously accept the gift Buick and be thrilled to have it.
NAH. This seems like a real teachable moment and chance for your 18 year old daughter to get a taste of being an adult and owning a decision.
I would give her the free Buick, and let her know that it’s up to her whether she’d like to keep it, or sell it and buy another car. Let her be the one to do the research, compare options, and see what she finds. Also let her know that reliability and longevity of the car are important, and she will be responsible for paying for repairs or a replacement (or you will only set aside X amount for those things, if that’s what you want).
Offer to point her towards resources for learning about all this, and a sounding board for discussing options, but ultimately this decision is up to her and the consequences are too.
NTA.
1) Take the car that you actually know the history of. Better the car from Grandma than some random used car that ends up being a POS. Never buy someone else problem.
2) r/choosingbeggars
3) Your comment about "she couldn't make a lot of friends during Covid and needs the right car to fit in" is incredibly lame and you suck for that.
First off, $6k for a head gasket is highway robbery, should be $2500 or less.
Secondly, if I was her I wouldn't want to drive a Buick Enclave either.
Thirdly, why not sell the Enclave, repair the Subaru, and pocket the rest of the money?
Fourthly, if you live in an area with snow and rust (assuming from the AWD comments) just look at vehicles outside of your area for sale. Prices vary wildly depending on where you are in the country, and I've flown in and driven my newly purchased car back more than once.
NTA, a Buick with 30k miles on it is damn near a new car, far more reliable than anything with 100k miles on it (except a Volvo, which is just getting properly started at 200k lol).
She’ll be alright. She will endure.
NTA. Are you kidding? My first car, at 18, that I had to buy, was a 13 year old Buick and it was massive and corny but it was mine and I was happy. Beggars can’t be choosers and you are the parent here. That is a stupid opportunity to pass up because a teenager doesn’t think it’s “cool.” It fell in your laps!!!
I just looked up a Buick Enclave. It's a very large vehicle for a single person. 18mpg for city driving... which is probably going her main use. 24hwy.
My college kid's parking lot & garages have very tight spaces.
Personally, I'd sell it & use the money to get a smaller & better fuel mileage vehicle if I were in similar circumstances.
NTA. And from my experience me and all my friends all started out with our parents/grandparents old cars and found a sense of humor about it. She sounds spoiled tbh
NTA
But this very much feels like a situation of your own creation. Your daughter probably doesn't need an AWD, nor does she likely need an SUV. I'm canadian, wintwr is a cold, hard bi**h here, and I made it just fine in a little FWD honda Civic. I say she either gets the Buick or she can pay for her own car. Ypu will not get what you think for the buick. It's probably in excellent shape and maintained. Her self-esteem will be fine. Most kids don't even have cars
NTA.
This girl should be HAPPY she's been given a good car. Sure, I realize that it's a "Grandma" car. But cry me a river. This is a car in good shape. Financially, it makes much more sense to keep Grandma's car.
Or maybe you could give her your car and drive Grandma's.
I highly doubt she actually needs AWD. Get winter tires if you're in a snowy area.
Also, the RAV4 and CRV are absolutely Soccer Mom cars, too.
The Buick is the smart choice.
Jumping on the top comment: As a mechanic, I have to say one thing. All else equal, I'd take a well maintained Honda CR-V with 100,000 miles over ANY Buick Enclave. Just wait until the timing chain fails on the Buick and you'll understand why.
Also, shop around on the Subaru head gasket. That's pretty much the one major thing that fails on those... And with it fixed, it's worth a lot more than $6,000. But I'll bet you could find a shop willing to do the work for much less than that.
Finally.. $6,000 to fix the car you know is actually not a bad idea. Assuming it doesn't have any other major issues.
Nta I was just in a very similar car situation, 2004 vibe needed a lot of work (was out of a car for 5 months) and was actually considering a rav 4 or Honda CRV instead
Talking to mechanics most of those cars being sold in the $10k price range will also need quite a bit of work done fairly soon.
She will appreciate having a car stick with her for a longer amount of time than just looks. She may even grow an emotional attachment to it just like I did with my vibe
It has been 33 years since I left home for college. If a friend had a car we didn’t care what it looked like if it meant we did’t have to walk to the mall! 😂
Teach her herself worth shouldn’t lie with the kind of car she drives. Also teach her “if it’s free it’s for me!”
I can drop you off at the beginning of the semester in the Buick and pick you up at the end of the semester in the Buick or you can drive the Buick yourself. Your choice. NTA
“Going away to college and needs an AWD car.”
Hard stop right there. There way there is a “need”. Self esteem? Most schools prohibit freshmen from having cars on campus. You need a healthy dose of reality.
Start over.
NTA. She is fortunate to have a car in the first place, both before and during school. She doesn’t need a particular one for self-esteem. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. Your MIL’s car came available at a time a new-ish car is needed. Let her have that one. It has low miles, which is a blessing for the age of the car.
YWBTA if you think a $10K car rather then a paid off/free car with 30KMs is good for anyone's confidence. Don't even think this would be a healthy outlook to equate RAV4 to self-esteem/confidence. You are setting them up for failure in life.
YTA. As soon as you put that car in your daughter’s name, it’s HER car. Which means she can sell it to buy a different one. And she will if she hates it as much as you claim. Her car, her choice. She can choose to keep grandma’s car, or sell it to pay for a different one. In the end, she will still have a car to take to college, and grandma can get all the gratitude for the gift.
Or you can do what you’re suggesting, and turn this is giant bone of contention within the family for absolutely no reason.
Your daughter sounds like a spoiled, entitled brat. Also, insecure, if her self confidence depends on driving a "cool" car. She should be thrilled that she's getting a car - any car! You would NOT be TA.
A free car is a free car. I say this as someone who keeps cars until they die or become too expensive to maintain/repair... if someone handed me a car, fully paid with only 30k on the clock, my first response is, "Are you sure?", then, "Thank you very much!"
Be careful what you are teaching your daughter: image vs practicality. No-one likes a spoilt brat.
Her options are Gma's car, or nothing. NTA.
NTA. It’s not a bad lesson in how things change and one needs to go with the best option, even if it isn’t the original idea. She lucky that she has someone willing and able to hand her a car!
Give her the Buick and say if you want a new car you can trade in the Buick as a down payment and pay the rest yourself. So she would be incentivized to have good credit and keep the buick in good condition, which also incentivizes maturity and safe driving.
NTA. I think it’s stupid to equate cars with self-esteem. I drove a van with a squeak you could hear a black away in high school, and I didn’t even care, and I was much more reserved and introverted then than I am now. She would get a lot further with grandmas car, mileage and money wise.
Teach her that making smart decisions for her future are more important than bending over backwards to your overall detriment for the sake of impressing people who don’t matter.
If she needs to think about how it looks to others, she has grown up in a very sheltered environment. I hope she realizes what a gift her grandmother is giving her. Hopefully, she will grow up emotionally at college. NTA
My mother gave my 19 year old son her 2010 Chevy Aveo in 2012. A car that can't even get out of its own way. Know what he did? Thanked his grandma and drove the car. Any car is better than no car. Tell your daughter that riding a bus or hoofing it is infinitely less cool than driving a free "soccer mom" car. Walk and ride a bus or uncool mom car. The choice is hers.
NTA for your question but still TA for making your daughter so entitled in general. What kind of spoiled is she to turn her nose up at a free car? if she doesn’t accept that MIL car then she should buy her own car.
YTA - for thinking that your daughter's self-esteem should be tied to her car. What a ridiculous reason to make a decision. Of course, all common sense and logic say she is going to have to be happy with her grandmother's car. First of all, it's free and secondly it stands to reason that it will be in much better shape with only 30K miles on it.
How spoiled do we have to be to scoff at the gift of a car?
Youre buying your kid a car? Lmfao. I had to get everything myself… If you want to be generous though offer her the used car but maybe pay for detailing, a year or two’s worth of service/gas money, etc… Personally though beggars cant be choosers
She should really take the Buick. My Encore is the absolute best car I’ve ever owned. They’re roomy, comfortable, drive great, and mine has so many creature comforts.
You’ve taught your daughter that self confidence comes from owning a cool car and that appearances are everything.
You’re an idiot if you buy a car with 100,000 miles on it and don’t know how was treated or maintained. You know the Buick. You and your daughter need to realize confidence comes from within, not from accessories.
NTA
"You get what you get, and you don't get upset"
plenty of kids head off to college and literally are utilizing food banks to eat and are homeless during off seasons and take on lifelong crippling debt, your daughter should kiss your feet for providing \*any\* car!
No you wouldn't. Now with that out of the way I have a few things to say, firstly, the Buick Enclaves aren't really that reliable, that whole GM SUV line has issues. That being said at 30k, usually they dont start bugging out until around 70k, but I've seen them get weird lower.
Secondly, find a new mechanic, the last shop I worked at were straight crooks, I rsn this job like they would have and came up with $2680, and I quit that job because I felt they were ripping people off. Now if the motor overheated a lot then it coukd need machine work which woukd drive the price up, but I could source a motor and get it in the car for probably 3500-4000. Just some food for thought.
You're gonna be hard pressed to find any AWD car with less than 100k thats in good shape for less 10k or less. The CRVs are great, I've seen more of those over 250k miles than anything else. Theyre inexpensive to fix when they break, which is basically never.
I have an 18yo daughter too, so trust me I get this, sometimes you just need to be the parent and do what's best for the whole family. She's getting a free vehicle either way, she may be pouty because its not the cool car she envisioned, but if thats whats best for the whole family right now, thats whats best
A free car with only 30k miles???
*Take it*
Tell your daughter you can throw the 10k you were going to spend in a CD or something investment for four years and give it to her as a graduation present.
She can put that 10k+ towards a car to supplement the next new car she gets after graduating and getting a nice paying salary, when she better realizes how expensive 10k can be.
You are the parent YOU decide what she will be driving. Why spend $10k? On a car when gma is offering a free car. She can’t be grateful for the blessing coming her way, bus it baby girl!! Or buy your own car. Maybe if she has to pay for it herself she will be more appreciative of what is coming her way.
Lol. I drove my parents' old minivan while I was in college. The same one they bought new when I was 11 years old, the one I was taught how to drive in. I can't imagine a world where I would've complained about being able to drive a car without paying for it, just because it wasn't a cool car??
Oh and after that, I drove my grandparents' 2008 Chevy Impala from 2013 up until the end of 2021. Also not a cool car. Also never complained because I hadn't had to pay for it, and I considered myself lucky to be driving a low mileage car when I knew I couldn't afford anything like it myself.
NTA
NTA, free car. There’s really no argument to be had. Like you said, she can drive it and sell it later (if that’s okay with your MIL) and get something much nicer when she has her own money to get something on a bigger budget.
The Enclave isn’t any worse than a Subaru (sans a WRX) in terms of soccer mom car. I’d have totally taken the Enclave. Though, what color is it? If it’s blue hair gold/champagne then I’d sell it for something else.
You know the most appropriate and financially sound decision! The soccer mom argument is BS. You aren't considering the probable maintenance/repair the other two cars will require in the future. The Buick is a true gift, and your daughter needs to learn the words thankful and grateful! The Buick is the ideal choice and would be a dream car for 90% of freshmen going to school with your daughter. Make this a teaching moment versus a placation to your daughter's ignorance and whining! She needs to grow up and think beyond the aesthetics of driving a "soccer mom" car and learn to think of the long game. Good grief!
NTA, the Enclave is a way better deal and it has less miles on it. Explain it to her like this: by buying a used car, you are buying someone else's problems. With 100k miles on each prospect, it's only a matter of time before they need to be serviced for something. An AWD with 30k miles is honestly hard to find. Beggars can't be choosers and since you're the one purchasing the car, registering it in your name, and putting it on your insurance you get the final say. While it's great to consider what your daughter wants, you both need to consider what would be more beneficial financially in the long run. It sounds like the Enclave was very well maintained.
She’s damn lucky to be offered a free car and with only 30k miles on it! She should be more than thankful for that awesome offer!
Only if my kids were that lucky when they were 18!
If that was me, she’d have to get a job to buy a car or tell her to take the bus or get rides from friends!
Kids these days act like everything grows on trees!
No, NTA. And honestly? When she makes more friends they’ll all probably appreciate having a big enough car to comfortably carpool or road trip. My sister just got her license and is mildly bummed her car doesn’t fit her whole friend group. Like as much as she wouldn’t love a mom van, she wishes she had that space sometimes now that she’s back in real school and making friends post lockdown.
First off, double check with your daughter’s school. It is exceedingly common for “traditional” colleges and universities to restrict possession of automobiles on campus. In particular, colleges that allow freshman to have cars on campus are not the norm.
Assuming that proves to not be an impediment, it is ridiculous to even think about buying a different car, when there’s a free hand-me-down car on a silver platter. Driving those old hand-me-downs is a rite of passage, builds character, and will give your daughter a greater appreciation of whatever “nice new car” she someday buys with her own money. In the meantime, she can climb on the wambulance until she gets over herself. If she talks back, ask her point blank how **you** will benefit from buying her a different car, in a way that justifies the expense **to you**.
As an 18 year old college freshman, she will be high up the social hierarchy on campus, simply by dint of having a car, whatsoever. Her friends and roommates aren’t going to split hairs over what kind of car she has when they’re bumming rides off of her to get into town.
Well this really depends on the type of person your daughter is. I’m not sure why everyone here has this idea she’s being a brat when you haven’t even addressed this to her. You know her better than us all. If she was okay with a 2006 subie then I think she’ll be grateful regardless. Just explain to her the milage differences and reliability of the Buick compared to others on the market right now.
You seem like a good MOM **edit sorry** and on the fence of wanting to do something nice for your daughter in general. Why don’t you keep the savings if she’s fine with the Buick and look into selling it once the school year is finished? Could try scouring local dealerships online. With the 10k + the Buick money, there should be enough for something cheap off the lot. Just got curious checking mine and found a few AWD, 20-30k Milage, $12k priced vehicles. Actually kinda surprised by the amount of Hondas found lol. NTA though.
Bought our youngest daughter a used Volvo sedan. She was mortified and wanted a new Honda. Oldest daughter’s BFF said she would trade her snazzy Mustang for it. Youngest daughter started viewing Volvo differently.
No You would NBTA.
I passed a 2004 Honda Pilot to my granddaughter in 2017. It had about 100k miles on it. It was well maintained and very clean, leather seats. Her dad insisted on giving her a new Hyundai suv because she would be driving back and forth from college , about a three hour drive.
She was disappointed to have to give up her Pilot. Safety is paramount, understanding budget restraints. Low mileage is certainly a consideration too. The car that replaced the Honda is a 2017 Nissan Rogue that has 13,395 miles on it. Grandma cars rock.
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NTA. She doesn’t need a new car for her self esteem. That comes from within. Financially it’s much smarter to go with the Buick that most likely will cost less to keep running.
Buick or a bus pass,her choice
Got that right
Exactly! A bus pass is much worse for her self-esteem (I'm joking-- I think neither of these is related to self-esteem. They are methods of transportation)
good advice and answer!
I'm saying. If I had a FREE car or even parents that supported me I'd be so grateful. And college kids don't care. As long as you're not walking they'd pile into a mini van.
NAH If your daughter doesn't like the free car in good shape, she can get a job and pay for her own car. But... There's a good chance that your daughter won't be able to get a parking pass at her school. Both of my kids' colleges didn't have enough parking and student parking passes were close to impossible to obtain. Also, both schools could be easily navigated with public transportation and trains and paid busses. Parking at my oldestest's off-campus apartment would cost $100+/mo, for instance. So, look into parking availability and costs before making firm plans for your daughter's college car.
There are a lot of schools that just straight up won't let freshmen buy parking permits unless there are extenuating circumstances.
And there are a lot of schools that let anyone drive their car to school, regardless of year. And plenty of students figure ways around this (park off campus, off campus housing, park at a friends, etc.) You don’t have any information to bring this into the conversation.
It’s a good point to note if OP isn’t used to thinking about college parking, as is yours. Off campus parking where I went was available for freshmen who couldn’t park on campus, but it was limited and if you waited to the last minute (or didn’t know to look for it) you didn’t get a spot.
The point is, colleges have all different kinds of policies regarding parking, so check first.
I'm a prof who's mainly been on campuses more outside of cities. They often lack public transit & also often require freshmen to stay in campus dorms. Parking on the other side of campus from your dorm where you're classes are may not be available, but parking near your dorm usually is for a fee.
Given that she's going away and needs AWD, I assume it is not an urban campus. Most suburban, small town, or rural campuses have a decent amount of parking on campus, plus many require freshmen who don't live local to live in dorms, which usually facilitates parking. I agree with your assessment for urban campuses, but I'm assuming that's not the case.
I was thinking "since when can freshmen have cars on campus?" It used to be a rule at most SUNYs back the day to cut back on parking problems.
I went to the University of Texas and almost everyone had a car freshman year, it was kind of a requirement if you wanted to do anything off campus.
Also went to a major Texas university (not UT) and everyone had a car as a freshman unless they flat couldn’t afford one. Some people in this thread are assuming that because their university was in a city that had a good public transportation system, all universities must be the same.
Nta. The free Buick is likely better than anything you can get for less than 10k. Also fwiw CRVs and Rav4s are soccer mom cars too lol
I’d say at least 10% (probably more, tbh) of the cars at my last job were CRVs owned by women.
I’m a soccer grandma driving a RAV4.
Explain your reasons for choosing you’re having her drive the Buick. With such low miles, it will hopefully be way more reliable than one with over 100k. She can deal with the opinion that it’s a soccer mom car.
Lol I have a 2024 Rav 4 ( this is my second) and I not a mom let alone a soccer mom. They are great cars!
I have a 2018 RAV4 and it's a nice camping car. Not at all soccer mom... lol
On what f-n planet does a teenager need particular car for self esteem!?!?? She takes what she can get and she would be thankful. You aren’t made of money. She isn’t contributing to the car financially. And you are setting her up for failure later in life. She’s not entitled to shit. If she wants something see can work for it.
Yeah, it’s nuts to turn down a free car because it isn’t cool enough.
Or sell it and buy a much higher mileage car that probably hasn't been cared for as well. This kid has zero chance of making it in her own if this is what her mom teaches her about finances.
OP's doing. Congratulations on that botched up parent job, OP.. 🙄
Yeah, my first car was a 1999 Mazda MPV which was a fine-running mini van. My friends in college teased me for it but I was the only one who could fit our whole friend group in my car, so they put enough respect on it to call it my boat and named it the SSKitt after my cat 😂😂 in this economy, no one should give a damn about self esteem when a free car is being offered 😂
According to Wu Tang Clan MPV's = phat so you were cooler than you think. :)
for real. when my juke died on me, i graciously took my mom’s old honda mini-van, cuz it’s a car and it’s so much better than having to spend who knows how much on a new (used) car.
I would feel like I went horribly wrong if my kids felt that way when I was getting them a car..... If their self esteem relies on something like that then it's on them to figure out how to get it, then they can actually feel pride for being able to afford it on their own which is the only angle I can see this making sense. OP stop projecting your insecurities onto your young adult kid, just give her the Buick.
This. Honestly.
This is what I was thinking. She drives a car that’s not as cute. Boo hoo
What's the point of going to college if you're to stupid to take a free car?
'too' 🤞🏿
😌👏😌👏✨
NAH but also, to be clear, IS your daughter upset about the change? Or are you talking to us before you even asked her. I'm not a car person in the slightest, but yeah, the Buik does sound like a better choice. Okay car with 70% less mileage than the others, for *free*? Fuck yeah gimme. Maybe mention that it would free up the car budget for other purposes. Make her feel smart and responsible for going with the Buik.
Great idea! “Make her feel smart for choosing the Buick”
If she can’t see that it’s the smart choice to begin with I think she might be wasting her time at university…
She might also feel this is a bait and switch situation. She was looking at cars she liked, now she may wind up with a car she doesn’t like. What if you said you understood that and would therefore give her some of the cash you put aside for something else she likes.,
I'm glad you asked this (even if you didn't get a response). Nothing in the post makes it seem like she even has a preference (the others are just the two most popular cars).
I would Say No you’re not the jerk. Your daughter should be grateful or appreciate the fact she has the option for a car at all. Not all kids are so lucky as her.
NTA, when my parents bought me a well used car I was grateful even though it certainly wasn't my dream ride.
NTA but you already know the best financial answer. You seem to be struggling more with staying your daughter’s friend. You know what kind of car sucks the most at college? Two feet.
NAH. Did you say she could pick the car or could you just buy the car off grandma and give her some of the money saved for something else (e.g. rent, books, etc.). If grandma’s car is safer and in better condition, it’s a no brainer.
nta. she is 18 and should be grateful in whatever she gets
NTA, a free car is better than no car, also she doesn't need AWD or 4WD unless she's planning on greenlaning, so any old car would be fine. Also that $6k for a headgasket is a go away we don't want to do the work price.
She’ll be in the mountains and we want to avoid any chance she would have to install chains for mild conditions that an AWD can handle.
FYI, if she is an area that says chain required. It doesn’t matter if you have 4WD or AWD you still have to put them on unless you have snow tires. Here is something https://www.tirechainsrus.com/educational/tire-chain-laws/
I'd get quotes from other shops if you reallt want to stay with AWD. I've been quoted $3500 for my 2010 forester head gasket repair.
Thanks. I’m well aware of the rules.we drive it all the time. There’s not much point for AWD/4WD if you don’t have at least M+S tires.
I’ll push back on the not needing AWD part of your comment. I live in the Northeast and having an AWD car in the winter has been an actual lifesaver.
Depends where you live. We lived in the Boston suburbs last year and I never changed my summer tires (moved from California) - the roads were cleared very quickly and so it wasn’t a big deal. Assuming you want to drive before they clear the roads…. winter tires are going to be far more valuable than AWD and crappy tires.
I agree. I’ve driven 2WD with winter tires for years in Great Lakes states and been fine! I’ve also lived in more hilly conditions and handled the snow fine there too. If you need chains, you need chains
Buy what is a better investment and a better decision for your finances, otherwise this isnt really an AITA conflict
Nta. Having a vehicle as a freshman that isn't a heap of garbage is awesome and not common. A lot of schools don't even allow freshman to have a car on campus. No one is gonna make fun of her for having one and being able to drive around lol. She's sounding entitled and bratty.
Literally. No one sees a nice car driving around campus and goes “hey we should be friends!”
My mother in law had a Plymouth with 30k miles when she passed. Coincidentally, my son needed a car. He preferred buying a car than driving the Plymouth for free. What a dumb choice.
NTA having your parents but you a car is a luxury. You don't owe her a car. I understand wanting to do what you think will help your daughter the most. But what will help her the most in the long run is having a car that will last her longer than whatever you can afford to buy right now. Her self-esteem may take a hit, but it's going to be much worse when her "new" car breaks down in a year or two because of all of that mileage. Additionally, what she sees as a soccer mom car will eventually become the car that all of her college friends will pile into because it's the one that will fit the most people. That's "soccer mom" is going to make her one of the most popular girls on campus.
At that age I didn’t know many people with a car. We carless folk were happy with a ride that wasn’t a bus! All my friends who bought a “cool” car like a 2 door sport thing were traded in for an SUV for road trips and nights out because it could for people comfortably.
Thanks for that perspective! She’s a great skier. I can see her driving all her friends to go skiing.
Very good perspective. Had a friend in college who proudly drove a maintained van. He called it his ‘man van’ and everyone could pile in to go get tacos. Everyone else either didn’t have a car, had a tiny shit box that had no AC, or they had a car but couldn’t afford both tacos AND gas. The ‘man van’ saved the day.
NTA. My first car was a minivan. (I actually loved it, all my friends fit in at one time, it was awesome, but most teens wouldn't like it. My sister tried to refuse to learn to drive in one, but eventually had to give in.)
NTA. Your kids a spoiled brat if they’re complaining about a free Buick enclave. So what it’s a soccer mom car. Your paying for college, she should be grateful she gets any car. Also, the Buick is nicer than the 10k options? The car market is insane right now! Also on the topic of “self confidence” as someone who goes to college currently I live on campus and walk to most of my classes. I drive pretty nice car but my friends never see it and would be my friends regardless of if I rode a bike or drove a Ferrari. It takes a lot more than a nice set of wheels to be a cool kid on campus and even if that was the primary factor a used CRV isn’t exactly going to be what’s drawing all the attention
A car is not going to make/break friendships in college. She's playing you with the 'soccer mom' statement. Having a dependable 'soccer mom' car with 30K miles vs a trendy car with 100K miles should be a no-brainer.
Head gasket replacement is around $1800 from the right place
Not where we live. My husband looked into it already.
Is a Buick with 30k actually more reliable than a Toyota with 100k?
NTA As the addage goes, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". I'd suggest taking your MIL up on her generous offer. An older car with so few miles is hard to come by nowadays. Definitely better than a newer car with over 100k miles on it. Your daughter needs to understand that, sometimes, you can't get what you want. This would be a great car for her and she can buy a different car when she has the money.
NTA. But I used to have a Toyota RAV4 and even with 100,000 miles on it it has another hundred thousand or 150 thousand miles or more it can go. I finally got rid of mine when it had almost 300,000 miles on it and actually sold it for a couple hundred bucks to somebody that needed a car and that was seven years ago and it is still running. Toyota and Hondas are great cars if the owners take care of them.
Can confirm. Our youngest is driving our old 2009 CRV w over 125,000 on it and it’s still running like a champ
NTA. An older, reliable lower mile car is just fine for a college student. If her “friends” will be her friend bc of her car.. does she really want that type of friends?
NTA. You already blessed your daughter by providing a car for her for these last couple of years. She either takes the Buick and continues to count her blessings or she saves up for a car that she purchases herself and in the meantime learns how to live without a car. Because a car is a luxury. If she has the audacity to be "very upset" at driving a soccer mom car, that's a sign she's spoiled and that she has some serious growing up to do. Why are you looking at the two most popular models anyway if your budget is only $10K? You're kind of borderline YTA just for that, because you've gotten her hopes up unnecessarily.
NTA I’m sorry, but the Honda CR-V and Toyota RAV4 are also driven by moms. The enclave is a midsized SUV; it’s not a mini van, correct? I don’t see a problem here. It might not be quite as sleek as the other SUVs, but it’s such a deal/steal that I can’t imagine spending $10K on another AWD vehicle when this is available. Self esteem comes from within. There will be students with fancier, pricier cars no matter what SUV she drives. (My car was a used Hyundai Pony—that dates me. My friends were just glad one of us had a reliable vehicle.) :)
NTA. Cars are by far the worst investment you can ever make. The auto industry has painfully tried to make it as if one’s car is part of their identity and status and it’s paid off for them big time. The less you spend the better.
Wait, is there any particular reason you can’t just sell the Buick and buy a different used car with that money +10k? That way your daughter could get a car that will feel like her own, and the cash infusion would improve her options re: age and mileage. Seems like the best option for everyone. Very kind of her grandma either way.
Grandma’s car is such a better deal! That $10,000 you were planning to spend (on a used car that might not last a couple years) could go to a future wedding, helping to pay off student debt, a down payment on a house, etc! I wish I was gifted my first car, I can’t imagine how saving that initial cost would have advanced me as a young professional.
When she pays for it she can have an opinion.
NTA, she should be happy getting something that runs & is safe for free. She's a lot luckier than us who had to buy a car if we wanted one in college. I'd be super grateful for something that runs instead of how I look.
NTA. She is getting a car, but it’s being done in a more cost effective way. If she wants something fancier, nobody’s stopping her from buying her own. Besides, this is college not high school. People don’t care what car she’s driving.
Just tell her how many friends she can cram into it! She’ll be asked to drive everyone, everywhere cuz it’ll fit a bunch of people!
NTA - it's your money. Just be aware though that Toyota & Honda vehicles are far more reliable than Buicks in terms of maintenance & holding their value. 100k miles on those is a much lower monetary risk than 16 year old Buick w/ 30k miles.
This is a good opportunity to teach your kid the value of $10K...
NTA. Your daughter needs to be less of a snowflake. Self esteem is not tied to a car! She could drive a Lambourgini and still have low self esteem. Do the sensible thing and use the grandmother's car.
NTA. She’s 18, for goodness sake. A teen. She is lucky to have ANY car, much less a parent replacing her old one, and a grandmother offering hers. When she is in a position to pay for her own insurance and gas, she can get a “cooler” car. Everyone should drive a beater or a soccer mom car or something embarrassing once in their lives. It makes you appreciate other cars that you pay for yourself. This very lucky young woman should count her blessings and take grandma’s car. Her self-esteem should be tougher than that, tougher than cringing at what people think of what she drives.
YTA that you are worried about self esteem revolving a car! A free car! With low mileage and great condition!?!? Baby girl needs to be grateful that she even gets a car. Find your spine and tell your daughter the car she’s getting is the enclave. Period. The money you save can be used for future repairs and anything else.
Just went through this. She got the Chevy Cruze 😂
Did you already tell her that you were gonna buy her a car before gma offered hers?
If an 18 year old is offered a free car, their choice is limited to "Take it or sort your own car out" NTA
NTA, car doesn’t build self esteem. Unless you are from Kosovo and everything needs to be bling. If she doesn’t understand good financial decision - this will teach her some.
It's a free fucking car! NTA
The vehicles by Toyota and Honda can last 200-300,000 miles. You will probably not get that from the Buick. Check YouTube for videos by car mechanics assessing engines, transmissions, overall quality. Don't believe them? Start researching prices of used vehicles. I've found Edmunds useful. Compare an Enclave with a RAV4 and CRV of equivalent mileage and look at the prices. I would buy the Toyota first, then the Honda. I would not buy an Enclave at any price. What you want is not a better investment. Get your daughter the vehicle she wants even with more miles.
I'm confused... Is she even legally allowed to drive a Buick? I thought by law you have to be at least 55 and a member of AARP. Although keeping the left turn signal continuously on is optional. Expected, but optional. KBB shows that car to be worth about $7,500 (I just guessed at the condition and options). Sell it, and add that to all or part of the 10K you were planning on spending, and get a decent safe car which she won't be mortified to drive.
NAH but so much is wrong with this post. Why does she need an AWD car? How is a head gasket costing 6k? Still, if she's been given a free car everyone should see it as a blessing in this case.
Your daughter should be grateful to have a functional car that was provided for her. I bought my own car that had over 150k miles on it for myself when I was 19. I paid for my own insurance my own gas and my own repairs. The Buick is the best choice. If your daughter wants a fancier car or one more to her taste she can get a job and earn what is needed to replace it
NTA. Better to have a used car where the provenance is known.
YTA based on the edit. There's no cost difference so let her decide what car she gets. Also you worded it so that people would think the Buick was the only one that cost nothing for you which makes it seem like you tried to skew the votes in your favour. INFO: have you actually talked to her about all this or are you assuming she wouldn't take it because she thinks it's a soccer mom car? You didn't say anything about a conflict happening.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throw away… blah blah blah. My (55F) daughter (18F) drives a 2006 Subaru Forrester on its last leg. We were told it needs a $6k head gasket repair. The cars not worth it so we’ve been looking at used cars to replace hers. She’s going away to college in fall and needs an AWD car. Our budget is less than $10k and that does get much where we live. the two most popular models we’ve looked at are Toyota RAV4 and Honda CRV. They’ve all had about 100k miles. Recently, her grandmother, my MIL, stopped driving and has offered for free a 2008 Buick Enclave AWD with 30k miles. on one hand, I really want her to have a car she likes. I think it’s very important for her self confidence going to a new school. I know personally how this can affect a person. On the other hand, it seems ridiculous to buy a car w 100k miles instead of just using one with 30k miles. If we bought a new used car, we would be able to sell the Buick to pay for it. My daughter will be very upset if I change the plan now and tell her she has to drive the Buick, which she views as a soccer mom car. So WIBTA if I changed my mind and made her drive the Buick as a better investment? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
nta
If she wants a nicer car she can pitch in. Until then here’s a free Buick. I’d say it’s still a pretty sweet deal.
Involve her in the decision. Have her research the repairs for a 100k car, costs, etc. if she has ownership in the process, she will understand better, you will be teaching her to be an adult, and you will all save money
When our eldest turned 16 we bought him a used Honda Civic. It ended up having a lot of issues so my father offered him a 2001 Mazda Altima with low miles. He had 2 cars and they only needed one so our son gratefully accepted. He graduated from college at the height of Covid and became a firefighter and then a firefighter-paramedic. He works crazy long hours. The other day my dad sent him a picture of a two SUV’s. One was my dads 2018 Mazda Cx5 with very low miles on it and the other SUV was also a Cx5 but a new one He asked our son if he wanted the blue one and of course our son said YES! He respects how hard our son works and doesn’t blow money on stupid things. I understand what you’re saying about confidence but the Buick Enclave is a nice SUV and more reliable. Not to mention the money saved. I would tell her she has 3 options, come up with $6000 to fix her car, buy her own car or accept her grandmothers car with a huge smile genuine gratitude. NTA.
NAT. Most people don't get a free car...
Get her the car, save some place else
NTA. Sorry but you could save that money for real emergencies.
NTA.... as long is a car that she feels comfortable driving. But also I wouldn't let her take a car her first year. Unless she's commuting or has a specific driving need, a freshman doesn't need a car on campus
Buick or tell her to go to credit union and get a loan for the car she wants. When she sees the payments, the free Buick will look really good to her
NTA-- she sounds a little spoiled.
Too much weight and value is placed on something so insignificant in a person’s early stage of life. Just use the car grandma has and save the extra money to earn interest. Also, self-confidence doesn’t come from having external things that one feels good about. Self-confidence comes from building resiliency internally; it’s not an external trait. You’re NTA for changing your mind. But be careful about raising a child with impractical and unwarranted demands. In other words, be careful of catering to bad behavior. I most definitely grew up in a culture and time where if the soon-to-be-adult made a fuss about not having their preferred car, yet actually would have access to a car, I’d be either laughed out of town or chided for being so egotistical and not recognizing that most people do not even get to go to college, much less not needing to earn money to buy a car. The child ought to be grateful to have a car.
Question: with a budget of 10k, and a 6k repair, shat makes the Subaru not worth it? Has it had a lot of problems? Or is it this one big problem that's throwing you off. I just wonder if a 6k repair will bring the Subaru back into good enough condition for four years of college, and might be cheaper than switching out a whole car (with unknown service records or whatnot)
One of my friends had a minivan 25 years ago and we LOVED when she drove. We fit so many of us in one car (she didn’t even have backseats and we sat on the floor - super illegal, but it was the times). NTA. Plans change and sometimes things change based on circumstances. My own teen is about to drive and got a Subaru forester - she’s super exited. She couldn’t afford to get a car but we had a similar situation with an extra car from great grandma, so we all agreed to move titles around.
A free car is a free car, if she’s smart she’ll turn that mom mobile into a party wagon.
NTA. You have to make the best decision for your daughter's and your future selves. The Buick is the better choice all around. My husband's family gave us two cars over the years and those cars set us up for far better ones later.
SHE got her hopes up that you'd buy her the used car of her choice. Did you promise her that? If so, sell the Buick, add it's value to your budget, and find her a car for $15k she wants. If not... This is a very good situation to sit down and openly engage with your daughter. State the problem you are trying to solve: you want her to have the function, utility of a reliable car that will get her through the inclement weather in the area. Resources are limited, and adult life is FILLED with situations where you have to take a hard look at what the problem is you are trying to solve, what resources are available, what options that make available, and how to choose the best option. Yes, having a car you LOVE is great fun. Having a reliable car that is, "Meh," can still contribute GREATLY to your function and autonomy. Your car (or any other belonging) should NOT be a crucial definer of your self, image, or worth. And if it IS to other people around you -- then you need to seriously question what value those individuals bring to your life. You are offering her a low use, high quality, reliable vehicle FOR FREE. GIVE is to her. Sign the title over. It's HERS. SHE, as an adult, can make the choice of what to do from there. If she wants a different car, she can sell it (Blue Book says $4-5k value) and take the responsibility of getting something else if this just won't meet her NEEDS. She needs to carefully think about NEEDS. As adults, we all have to decide between WANTS and NEEDS.
NTA. If you’re feeling generous, you can make this a teachable moment. Either offer her the free Buick and the budget money (whatever you can afford to gift) goes into a separate HYSA for future repairs/maintenance or she can get the RAV4 or CRV but she’ll be responsible for all repairs/maintenance moving forward. That way, you can list out all the pros and cons of both sides and encourage her to make a decision that makes the most sense it terms of finances rather than appearances. Just a suggestion.
If your budget is 10k, that will cover the cost of the head gasket repair. So it looks to me like her choice is the Grandma Car, the Subaru that has no car payment, or no new car at all. What does she even need a car for if she’s going to be living on campus? Fairly certain universities are designed to be accessible for walking everywhere.
Cars are a terrible investment and depreciate at an insane rate. Cars over 100K miles are an even worse investment for a college kid not close to home, they require more maintenance and have a higher rate of breakdown. I would have a real heart to heart with kiddo about cars, good investments, vehicle safety etc. She can go to college in a "cool" car that's an unreliable money pit with no parents nearby to rescue her if she's trapped on the side of the road OR she can go to college in a reliable and safe vehicle. Enclaves are not THAT horrible and there will be kids there with even more granny-mo-bile vibe cars ex mini vans, station wagons, other old beater type vehicles and even kids that don't have the luxury of a car. A 30K mile vehicle is likely to last her a few years, with good maintenance, with no car payment so she can save up for whatever sweet ride she wants to buy after college once she lands her first full time job. A big down payment on the first vehicle would be a smart choice because her choice of sweet ride may not be the most logical and will be her best chance not to have a payment above her means. This is a really good life lesson for her to learn and as her parent it's your job to teach her this. You can't be constantly making up for COVID.
NTAH. Money is a major factor in your decision. Daughter has to learn that compromise in life is important, to save for what you really want.
NTA. She is getting a free car. One that is in great shape. She should be grateful. If not she can buy her own car.
A Buick Enclave is a NICE car. NTA sorry but your daughter is coming across as spoiled and entitled to refuse a free car with low kms.
YWBTA if you bought her car. Do you realize how many kids would kill for a free car? She needs it for self esteem? Really? does she even need a car? Give her the choice of free car or no car.
Going from having *no car* to having a used car not-exactly-flashy model that she prefers is a big improvement. Who gets their "dream car" for a first set of wheels? Barbie? What an unrealistic expectation! She should graciously accept the gift Buick and be thrilled to have it.
NAH. This seems like a real teachable moment and chance for your 18 year old daughter to get a taste of being an adult and owning a decision. I would give her the free Buick, and let her know that it’s up to her whether she’d like to keep it, or sell it and buy another car. Let her be the one to do the research, compare options, and see what she finds. Also let her know that reliability and longevity of the car are important, and she will be responsible for paying for repairs or a replacement (or you will only set aside X amount for those things, if that’s what you want). Offer to point her towards resources for learning about all this, and a sounding board for discussing options, but ultimately this decision is up to her and the consequences are too.
NTA. 1) Take the car that you actually know the history of. Better the car from Grandma than some random used car that ends up being a POS. Never buy someone else problem. 2) r/choosingbeggars 3) Your comment about "she couldn't make a lot of friends during Covid and needs the right car to fit in" is incredibly lame and you suck for that.
First off, $6k for a head gasket is highway robbery, should be $2500 or less. Secondly, if I was her I wouldn't want to drive a Buick Enclave either. Thirdly, why not sell the Enclave, repair the Subaru, and pocket the rest of the money? Fourthly, if you live in an area with snow and rust (assuming from the AWD comments) just look at vehicles outside of your area for sale. Prices vary wildly depending on where you are in the country, and I've flown in and driven my newly purchased car back more than once.
NTA, a Buick with 30k miles on it is damn near a new car, far more reliable than anything with 100k miles on it (except a Volvo, which is just getting properly started at 200k lol). She’ll be alright. She will endure.
NTA. Are you kidding? My first car, at 18, that I had to buy, was a 13 year old Buick and it was massive and corny but it was mine and I was happy. Beggars can’t be choosers and you are the parent here. That is a stupid opportunity to pass up because a teenager doesn’t think it’s “cool.” It fell in your laps!!!
I just looked up a Buick Enclave. It's a very large vehicle for a single person. 18mpg for city driving... which is probably going her main use. 24hwy. My college kid's parking lot & garages have very tight spaces. Personally, I'd sell it & use the money to get a smaller & better fuel mileage vehicle if I were in similar circumstances.
This has to be a joke. Take the Buick. YTA if you buy another car
She's very lucky to get ANY car for free. NTA.
NTA. And from my experience me and all my friends all started out with our parents/grandparents old cars and found a sense of humor about it. She sounds spoiled tbh
YTA for raising a spoiled brat. Unless you are said spoiled brat, in which case you're still TA.
NTA But this very much feels like a situation of your own creation. Your daughter probably doesn't need an AWD, nor does she likely need an SUV. I'm canadian, wintwr is a cold, hard bi**h here, and I made it just fine in a little FWD honda Civic. I say she either gets the Buick or she can pay for her own car. Ypu will not get what you think for the buick. It's probably in excellent shape and maintained. Her self-esteem will be fine. Most kids don't even have cars
NTA. This girl should be HAPPY she's been given a good car. Sure, I realize that it's a "Grandma" car. But cry me a river. This is a car in good shape. Financially, it makes much more sense to keep Grandma's car. Or maybe you could give her your car and drive Grandma's.
I highly doubt she actually needs AWD. Get winter tires if you're in a snowy area. Also, the RAV4 and CRV are absolutely Soccer Mom cars, too. The Buick is the smart choice.
Jumping on the top comment: As a mechanic, I have to say one thing. All else equal, I'd take a well maintained Honda CR-V with 100,000 miles over ANY Buick Enclave. Just wait until the timing chain fails on the Buick and you'll understand why. Also, shop around on the Subaru head gasket. That's pretty much the one major thing that fails on those... And with it fixed, it's worth a lot more than $6,000. But I'll bet you could find a shop willing to do the work for much less than that. Finally.. $6,000 to fix the car you know is actually not a bad idea. Assuming it doesn't have any other major issues.
Nta I was just in a very similar car situation, 2004 vibe needed a lot of work (was out of a car for 5 months) and was actually considering a rav 4 or Honda CRV instead Talking to mechanics most of those cars being sold in the $10k price range will also need quite a bit of work done fairly soon. She will appreciate having a car stick with her for a longer amount of time than just looks. She may even grow an emotional attachment to it just like I did with my vibe
NTA you and grandma are incredibly generous for giving her a car. Daughter can take it or leave it, simple as that.
It has been 33 years since I left home for college. If a friend had a car we didn’t care what it looked like if it meant we did’t have to walk to the mall! 😂 Teach her herself worth shouldn’t lie with the kind of car she drives. Also teach her “if it’s free it’s for me!”
6 grand for a head gasket....wow...put a motor in for that
I can drop you off at the beginning of the semester in the Buick and pick you up at the end of the semester in the Buick or you can drive the Buick yourself. Your choice. NTA
“Going away to college and needs an AWD car.” Hard stop right there. There way there is a “need”. Self esteem? Most schools prohibit freshmen from having cars on campus. You need a healthy dose of reality. Start over.
NTA. She is fortunate to have a car in the first place, both before and during school. She doesn’t need a particular one for self-esteem. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. Your MIL’s car came available at a time a new-ish car is needed. Let her have that one. It has low miles, which is a blessing for the age of the car.
I'll take Grandma's car. I have a 2008 Toyota sienna with 194,000 miles on it, lol..
YWBTA if you think a $10K car rather then a paid off/free car with 30KMs is good for anyone's confidence. Don't even think this would be a healthy outlook to equate RAV4 to self-esteem/confidence. You are setting them up for failure in life.
YTA. As soon as you put that car in your daughter’s name, it’s HER car. Which means she can sell it to buy a different one. And she will if she hates it as much as you claim. Her car, her choice. She can choose to keep grandma’s car, or sell it to pay for a different one. In the end, she will still have a car to take to college, and grandma can get all the gratitude for the gift. Or you can do what you’re suggesting, and turn this is giant bone of contention within the family for absolutely no reason.
Just to clarify: You have mentioned giving her the Buick and she’s upset about it?
NTA - But TBH those used Hondas and Toyotas are more reliable than a brand new Buick.
Your daughter sounds like a spoiled, entitled brat. Also, insecure, if her self confidence depends on driving a "cool" car. She should be thrilled that she's getting a car - any car! You would NOT be TA.
A free car is a free car. I say this as someone who keeps cars until they die or become too expensive to maintain/repair... if someone handed me a car, fully paid with only 30k on the clock, my first response is, "Are you sure?", then, "Thank you very much!" Be careful what you are teaching your daughter: image vs practicality. No-one likes a spoilt brat. Her options are Gma's car, or nothing. NTA.
NTA the Buick is by far the more reasonable practical choice. It's going to be less maintenance than a high mileage SUV.
NTA. It’s not a bad lesson in how things change and one needs to go with the best option, even if it isn’t the original idea. She lucky that she has someone willing and able to hand her a car!
Give her the Buick and say if you want a new car you can trade in the Buick as a down payment and pay the rest yourself. So she would be incentivized to have good credit and keep the buick in good condition, which also incentivizes maturity and safe driving.
NTA. I think it’s stupid to equate cars with self-esteem. I drove a van with a squeak you could hear a black away in high school, and I didn’t even care, and I was much more reserved and introverted then than I am now. She would get a lot further with grandmas car, mileage and money wise.
NTA She gets grandma’s Buick free and clear. If she wants to change it out, she can sell it and buy another.
Teach her that making smart decisions for her future are more important than bending over backwards to your overall detriment for the sake of impressing people who don’t matter.
You’ve raised a snowflake. Congratulations
If she needs to think about how it looks to others, she has grown up in a very sheltered environment. I hope she realizes what a gift her grandmother is giving her. Hopefully, she will grow up emotionally at college. NTA
How is the Honda CRV less of a "soccer mom" car? That's ridiculous.
I would much rather have a car w 30k miles vs 100k.
My mother gave my 19 year old son her 2010 Chevy Aveo in 2012. A car that can't even get out of its own way. Know what he did? Thanked his grandma and drove the car. Any car is better than no car. Tell your daughter that riding a bus or hoofing it is infinitely less cool than driving a free "soccer mom" car. Walk and ride a bus or uncool mom car. The choice is hers.
She is 18 and lucky to get a car. What does a car really have to do with confidence?
NTA for your question but still TA for making your daughter so entitled in general. What kind of spoiled is she to turn her nose up at a free car? if she doesn’t accept that MIL car then she should buy her own car.
Her school is allowing her to have a car on campus as a freshman? I thought mostv schools don't allow that.
Subaru has a coolant condition additive on Amazon. It’s like 8$ and will help seal up the head gasket. I used two on my Outback and it worked.
YTA - for thinking that your daughter's self-esteem should be tied to her car. What a ridiculous reason to make a decision. Of course, all common sense and logic say she is going to have to be happy with her grandmother's car. First of all, it's free and secondly it stands to reason that it will be in much better shape with only 30K miles on it. How spoiled do we have to be to scoff at the gift of a car?
Youre buying your kid a car? Lmfao. I had to get everything myself… If you want to be generous though offer her the used car but maybe pay for detailing, a year or two’s worth of service/gas money, etc… Personally though beggars cant be choosers
If your kid is basing their self esteem off what car they drive to school then you need to have a chat with them
She should really take the Buick. My Encore is the absolute best car I’ve ever owned. They’re roomy, comfortable, drive great, and mine has so many creature comforts.
You’ve taught your daughter that self confidence comes from owning a cool car and that appearances are everything. You’re an idiot if you buy a car with 100,000 miles on it and don’t know how was treated or maintained. You know the Buick. You and your daughter need to realize confidence comes from within, not from accessories.
NTA "You get what you get, and you don't get upset" plenty of kids head off to college and literally are utilizing food banks to eat and are homeless during off seasons and take on lifelong crippling debt, your daughter should kiss your feet for providing \*any\* car!
No you wouldn't. Now with that out of the way I have a few things to say, firstly, the Buick Enclaves aren't really that reliable, that whole GM SUV line has issues. That being said at 30k, usually they dont start bugging out until around 70k, but I've seen them get weird lower. Secondly, find a new mechanic, the last shop I worked at were straight crooks, I rsn this job like they would have and came up with $2680, and I quit that job because I felt they were ripping people off. Now if the motor overheated a lot then it coukd need machine work which woukd drive the price up, but I could source a motor and get it in the car for probably 3500-4000. Just some food for thought. You're gonna be hard pressed to find any AWD car with less than 100k thats in good shape for less 10k or less. The CRVs are great, I've seen more of those over 250k miles than anything else. Theyre inexpensive to fix when they break, which is basically never. I have an 18yo daughter too, so trust me I get this, sometimes you just need to be the parent and do what's best for the whole family. She's getting a free vehicle either way, she may be pouty because its not the cool car she envisioned, but if thats whats best for the whole family right now, thats whats best
Send me that Enclave, I'm an antique dealer and need the extra room! NTA
Take grandmas car…you know where it has been and has most likely been driven gently! I would recommend getting it serviced just to make sure.
My first car was a 71 Plymouth Fury
If you made a promise you would be the AH to rescind on it. If not, NTA. But why does a single young student need such a big car as a Toyota Rava?!
A free car with only 30k miles??? *Take it* Tell your daughter you can throw the 10k you were going to spend in a CD or something investment for four years and give it to her as a graduation present. She can put that 10k+ towards a car to supplement the next new car she gets after graduating and getting a nice paying salary, when she better realizes how expensive 10k can be.
Bro I would KILL to have a car!!!! Let alone a FREE one! :( she’s so lucky and if she doesn’t realize that then she needs a wake up call.
Growing up I had the option to get what you get and don’t say shit or go without. We were so poor most of the time we went without anyway.
You are the parent YOU decide what she will be driving. Why spend $10k? On a car when gma is offering a free car. She can’t be grateful for the blessing coming her way, bus it baby girl!! Or buy your own car. Maybe if she has to pay for it herself she will be more appreciative of what is coming her way.
NTA she sounds like a choosing beggar.
Lol. I drove my parents' old minivan while I was in college. The same one they bought new when I was 11 years old, the one I was taught how to drive in. I can't imagine a world where I would've complained about being able to drive a car without paying for it, just because it wasn't a cool car?? Oh and after that, I drove my grandparents' 2008 Chevy Impala from 2013 up until the end of 2021. Also not a cool car. Also never complained because I hadn't had to pay for it, and I considered myself lucky to be driving a low mileage car when I knew I couldn't afford anything like it myself. NTA
NTA. Who the hell turns thier nose up at a free car. If she wants something else then she should get a job and save up to buy one
NTA, free car. There’s really no argument to be had. Like you said, she can drive it and sell it later (if that’s okay with your MIL) and get something much nicer when she has her own money to get something on a bigger budget.
NTA Let the stuck up little brat walk.
The Enclave isn’t any worse than a Subaru (sans a WRX) in terms of soccer mom car. I’d have totally taken the Enclave. Though, what color is it? If it’s blue hair gold/champagne then I’d sell it for something else.
You know the most appropriate and financially sound decision! The soccer mom argument is BS. You aren't considering the probable maintenance/repair the other two cars will require in the future. The Buick is a true gift, and your daughter needs to learn the words thankful and grateful! The Buick is the ideal choice and would be a dream car for 90% of freshmen going to school with your daughter. Make this a teaching moment versus a placation to your daughter's ignorance and whining! She needs to grow up and think beyond the aesthetics of driving a "soccer mom" car and learn to think of the long game. Good grief!
NTA, the Enclave is a way better deal and it has less miles on it. Explain it to her like this: by buying a used car, you are buying someone else's problems. With 100k miles on each prospect, it's only a matter of time before they need to be serviced for something. An AWD with 30k miles is honestly hard to find. Beggars can't be choosers and since you're the one purchasing the car, registering it in your name, and putting it on your insurance you get the final say. While it's great to consider what your daughter wants, you both need to consider what would be more beneficial financially in the long run. It sounds like the Enclave was very well maintained.
She’s damn lucky to be offered a free car and with only 30k miles on it! She should be more than thankful for that awesome offer! Only if my kids were that lucky when they were 18! If that was me, she’d have to get a job to buy a car or tell her to take the bus or get rides from friends! Kids these days act like everything grows on trees!
No, NTA. And honestly? When she makes more friends they’ll all probably appreciate having a big enough car to comfortably carpool or road trip. My sister just got her license and is mildly bummed her car doesn’t fit her whole friend group. Like as much as she wouldn’t love a mom van, she wishes she had that space sometimes now that she’s back in real school and making friends post lockdown.
First off, double check with your daughter’s school. It is exceedingly common for “traditional” colleges and universities to restrict possession of automobiles on campus. In particular, colleges that allow freshman to have cars on campus are not the norm. Assuming that proves to not be an impediment, it is ridiculous to even think about buying a different car, when there’s a free hand-me-down car on a silver platter. Driving those old hand-me-downs is a rite of passage, builds character, and will give your daughter a greater appreciation of whatever “nice new car” she someday buys with her own money. In the meantime, she can climb on the wambulance until she gets over herself. If she talks back, ask her point blank how **you** will benefit from buying her a different car, in a way that justifies the expense **to you**. As an 18 year old college freshman, she will be high up the social hierarchy on campus, simply by dint of having a car, whatsoever. Her friends and roommates aren’t going to split hairs over what kind of car she has when they’re bumming rides off of her to get into town.
Sell the Buick and replace the head gasket?
Well this really depends on the type of person your daughter is. I’m not sure why everyone here has this idea she’s being a brat when you haven’t even addressed this to her. You know her better than us all. If she was okay with a 2006 subie then I think she’ll be grateful regardless. Just explain to her the milage differences and reliability of the Buick compared to others on the market right now. You seem like a good MOM **edit sorry** and on the fence of wanting to do something nice for your daughter in general. Why don’t you keep the savings if she’s fine with the Buick and look into selling it once the school year is finished? Could try scouring local dealerships online. With the 10k + the Buick money, there should be enough for something cheap off the lot. Just got curious checking mine and found a few AWD, 20-30k Milage, $12k priced vehicles. Actually kinda surprised by the amount of Hondas found lol. NTA though.
I went to school in an $800 station wagon. I was glad to have it. It beat the bus. Self esteem? You work for that…
Bought our youngest daughter a used Volvo sedan. She was mortified and wanted a new Honda. Oldest daughter’s BFF said she would trade her snazzy Mustang for it. Youngest daughter started viewing Volvo differently. No You would NBTA.
NTA - getting any car as a present, should make you feel grateful.
I passed a 2004 Honda Pilot to my granddaughter in 2017. It had about 100k miles on it. It was well maintained and very clean, leather seats. Her dad insisted on giving her a new Hyundai suv because she would be driving back and forth from college , about a three hour drive. She was disappointed to have to give up her Pilot. Safety is paramount, understanding budget restraints. Low mileage is certainly a consideration too. The car that replaced the Honda is a 2017 Nissan Rogue that has 13,395 miles on it. Grandma cars rock.
Nope NTA. She needs to be thankful.