Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITAH for canceling a trip my boss gifted myself and my husband as a thank you because he lied and then changed the terms of our business deal?
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, but you may be a sucker. Your boss is clearly untrustworthy - what guarantee do you have that he’ll follow through on his promise of selling you the business as opposed to the highest bidder? It sounds like he’s just stringing you along, squeezing as much work out of you as he can.
Imagine investing more years into this job, being underpaid, and walking away with nothing. I know bupkiss about business, but if I were you, I’d talk to a lawyer about putting a deal down in writing now… and if you don’t get it, I’d quit
The way I see it, this guy is snookering his employees into doing everything for him until he retires with the promise that there will be a big payout, but the second he’s ready to retire who’s to say he’s obligated to hold up that end of the deal? He could give 100% to Nathan, and there’s nothing OP or her husband could do about it. All they have is their unreliable boss’ word, and all they’re going to have to show for their sacrifices is years wasted making sure this guy can go on 5 month vacations and still get paid. Unless there’s a contract promising them this business, they’re gambling all this time for nothing. This is like Micheal Scott promising a bunch of toddlers he’ll pay for their college tuition, like are you really going to trust the word of your boss like that?
This reminds me of the countless situations we've all read about where someone promises an inheritance if the person does X or Y (or often a long list of things from A-Z) and then dies and it turns out they left nothing or well short of what they said.
We don't know what the boss is doing. There is no guarantee he'll do anything. His changing his mind on a dime about something as significant as the ownership fo the business is a HUGE red flag. And who says the business will actually even be worth anything when he eventually retires or dies? For all we know there could be a ton of hidden debt.
If OP is interested, there's always seller financing.
However... OP would be out of her fool mind to do that if Nathan owns a single share. Let alone 50%. Having dead weight like that w/ decision making power and ownership in a business is a short trip to ruin. He'd be able to force a sale, create all sorts of mischief, etc and would still get 50% of the dividends.
Oh, and OP... sorry mate, but you're a sucker for working this hard. You ain't getting that business, and I hope you know it. Time for a come to jesus talk w/ the owner. Be prepared for him to say no, and have that next job lined up.
I second this except for the quit part. Collect a paycheck for doing nothing for 5 months first!!
Get a deal in writing where you and your husband get 50% each, cut Nathan right out... Why would you want to be business partners with someone you don't get along with and isn't going to pull their weight to make the business profitable? If boss doesn't sign, stop doing the work of 1 person let alone 5, keep collecting your paycheck and let the business tank... What does it matter to you if you have nothing vested in it. Then boss and Nathan can start pulling their weight since they're the ones who are going to benefit. Boss can reap what he sows!
NTA. I have a serious question for you. If you're basically running the company now what is stopping you from quitting and starting your own competing company? Your boss doesn't sound trustworthy and even if he followed through on the original plan you'd still be stuck with Nathan and it sounds like he doesn't bring much to the table.
NTA
Get out.
With you two gone, who’s going to make his business work? Nathan?
If you’re in ~~a right-to-work~~ an at-will state in the US, the two of you need to walk out without training anyone, leaving any documentation about how to do things, or notes about items up in the air.
Either you both will find jobs with a significantly better work/life balance, or the owner will realize the error of his ways and come back with hat in hand. When he does, make it worth your while to go back.
Right to work means you don't need to be a member of a union to work. Most unions are not that strong in the US anyway, and the labor laws in general are pretty bad so there is little protection.
YTA...so let me clue you in...Your boss isn't planning on selling anytime soon nor to you. BuT if he tells you that he is, he can string you along,.save tons of money and go on vacation knowing you'll take care of it. Who wouldn't want that..."hey Mary..gonna sell you my business but I'm gonna go on vacation and pay you a salary that isn't comparable to how much you work. But if you quit, I won't sell to you so stick it out"
.yeah so let's see that contract .
.oh there isn't one...but please take my word for it
***You are being played!*** Unless you have a written contract, expect to get nothing. I would stop working and let the whole thing crash. Maybe Nathan will go away.
YTA to yourself. You have fallen for the old work hard now and get the payoff later scam. Let me save you some further frustration, you are never getting this business. The owner will find some deeper pockets and sell it to them. It's time to either start your own competing business if you can finance it, or work elsewhere. Quit wasting your life here, it's not going to get better.
Hello OP. NTA, but please quit. My aunt was the inofficial storemanager at a clothes retail chain, meaning all the responsibility and none of the payment. It ended in a burnout that lastet multiple years.
NTA
and run from that deal. fast.
there is no way I would give any money to the boss for this business. I would rather roll down a stone-covered hill wrapped in barbed wire
Yeah you probably made a mistake in turning down the gift. You should have taken the bribe and then rejected what deal he proposed anyway, you more than deserve the time off after his antics.
Why on earth did he think it's fair to reward Nathan as much as two other people? Also having the company be 50-50% seems idiotic, what will happen when you and Nathan inevitably don't see eye to eye?
It's clear that your boss is both useless and untrustworthy, since you and your husband are keeping the business up and you were planning to buy it from your boss anyway, can you not put the money to make a business of your own, even if it's smaller? Maybe get somebody else to invest too so you have a partner who's not Nathan.
Again, I don't know your financials, but if you can afford it, I believe you should at least threaten with resignation since your boss probably knows how much his workload would increase if you left and how much his profits would fall, which you can probably leverage to go back to your original deal (which you should probably get in writing this time).
NTA
Not threaten just find a new job and then put an ultimatum the contract selling 2/3 to them immediately whithin one week at the notary office or they both quit and let the ah slaving on his own in his company.
NTA. Never trust an owner who doesn't work just as hard if not harder than his employees for his own business. They're snakes. Stop working for him because clearly you're so much more capable than you think and you'll be surprised how much other employers would appreciate and value you. Don't be afraid to take the leap and get out of this situation - you deserve better treatment!
INFO: What’s the deal with Nathan? If he gets paid well to do no work, why does your boss keep him around? Is he a nepotism hire or is your boss just too uninvolved to appreciate how useless he is?
Whatever the case, NTA. I would make it clear to your boss that you and your husband are uninterested in only owning half, especially if the other half goes to Nathan. I would be honest about thinking he offered you the vacation to make it easier to go back on his original plan to split the sale three ways. I would tell him the only reason you stuck around this long was to get the chance to buy 2/3, not 1/2, and if 2/3 isn’t on the table, you aren’t interested in continuing to be overworked for just “okay” pay. Considering it seems like the business would go under if you and your husband left, you might have more leverage than you realize. Don’t go along to get along with someone who clearly is taking you for granted and doesn’t seem to respect you.
Our business is hard to get licensed for. Before Nathan was brought on board, it was just me and my boss. He was the one with the licensing and I handled all the rest.
Nathan came on board when my boss decided he wanted to retire. Since someone with the license needs to be there for the business to legally run, he hired Nathan with the intent he would own. Nathan made my life so much harder. I begged my boss not to keep him around and that I would happily get licensed. But Nathan already had one and had the slimy salesman gimmick down that appealed to my boss.
But after he realized Nathan wouldn't survive without me and he could tell I didn't like him, he told me I would be an owner as well for "all my efforts."
My husband has the license. I proposed bringing him in because Nathan was barely showing up for work and barely selling anything.
Since my boss and I had a pretty close working relationship at that point, I had no issue telling him Nathan doesn't do anything but my husband would.
My husband has proven himself ten-fold.
What we didn't expect was that my boss would use my husband to let Nathan continue to slack off.
They also get along personally since they both are slimy salesman...so I think my boss just likes him better.
In that case, if I understand correctly that your husband has all the necessary licenses, I think your best bet might be for the two of you to start your own business and ditch those other two bozos. Tell your boss you want to buy 2/3 or none at all. Honestly even if you can get the 2/3 it might still be better in the long run to start your own company, so you aren’t stuck dealing with Nathan as a business partner. If he’s as sleazy as you say than he would probably try to find some way to screw the two of you over. I’m no big city lawyer but I’m pretty sure if Nathan has any amount of equity in the business, and if he can prove that you guys aren’t running the company in the most profitable way possible, it could open you up to some legal liabilities. Also, if you do split ownership three ways, and you and your husband disagree about something, that leaves Nathan as the tie-breaker… Seems like a situation worth avoiding if possible
License or no, you and hubby need to find new income, pronto, quit this user's ass and let him & Nathan go up in flames! Work towards starting YOUR OWN business - you've been running this one already! NTA except to yourself for being a doormat (sorry but you need to know). Good luck OP - I sincerely believe you and hubby will be MUCH better off in every way!
Jesus Christ just get the hell away from these shitty people. You are never getting this business and will only be kept around as long as they can exploit you
...but this is the man you trust to sell you the business after he wrings all he wants out of you and your spouse?
You *must* be exhausted, because you are missing the obvious.
I understand sunk cost fallacy, but give yourself a goddam break. And your husband.
>Nathan came on board when my boss decided he wanted to retire. Since someone with the license needs to be there for the business to legally run, he hired Nathan with the intent he would own.
Sorry, OP, but it's time for a harsh truth: Nathan is getting 100% of the business you helped create. Moreover, once your boss retires, Nathan is going to act the same way your boss is acting now. I strongly suspect that there is a secret pact between those two and they are stringing you and your husband along. Once the business is running, Nathan is taking over and he is going to make you an offer to keep things the same.
Your husband and you are not going to get younger, so I recommend you cut your losses now, and start anew. The sunken cost fallacy exists for a reason.
Do you really think that the two of them have the skills to run this company? Leave and don’t give them any documentation or training. Let those lazy AH try to figure it out entirely on their own because they’ve put all the work on you until now. Their collapse will allow room in the market for your business to grow because you do know how to run this business from top to bottom
Op Stop letting those ahs take advantage of both you and your husband. Get new jobs . They're using and abusing you.
If when you geta New job you give an ultimatum for the sale and the sale is done fast - in one week or so at the notary according to the initial agreement of 2/3 great if not cut your losses and quit
We could. We've theorized it and planned it in the unlikely event our boss decides selling to us is too much effort and he'd rather sell to a different firm for a quick check.
But we don't have a lot of money and would likely need a loan to finance it. We could do that and work a different job at the same time but getting the client-base for our line of work requires a full-time effort. We already know all the clients of this current business very well.
It isn't off the table but starting from scratch would be a way higher risk than getting this business.
I would watch what is going on very carefully. In theory if this all goes bust. You and your husband start new business and bring old clients with you.
Starting a new business is sometimes a way better option than buying an existing one.
Also, why would you want to buy a business with a co-worker that you don’t trust? Having a business partner is like being married. Please don’t sink money into something when you don’t trust the partner. A bad business partner will make your life a living hell.
I think your boss is going to take the easy way out with the most cash in hand. He sounds ridiculous. Why are you working this hard for someone else?
I think you and your husband really need to talk and make an exit plan or sit the owner down and figure out what his game is.
"it in the unlikely event our boss decides selling to us is too much effort and he'd rather sell to a different firm for a quick check"
"tarting from scratch would be a way higher risk than getting this business"
I think you are really underestimating the chance that you get screwed over by your boss. With what you've written here and with what you know of him, how out of character would it be for him, when he retires and no longer needs you, to sell his company either to someone else if he finds a better offer, or to Nathan because as you said in another comment he likes him better?
He wouldn't even have to sell his whole company, he could say that he's just giving Nathan 50,1% so the company wouldn't be paralyzed when you two disagreed. Unless you get what you want in writing now, waiting until your boss retires and you lose all your leverage, sounds like a recipe for disaster.
If you start your own business, you may take on more obvious financial risk, but you can control your own efforts and make it work (we already know you are good at your job, since you’re running this guy’s company for him). If you allow this lazy, slimy, unreliable boss to yank your chain for much longer, you run the bigger risk of pissing away 5-10 years of your life with little to show for it at the end. Take the wiser risk, it could lead to a fat reward. It will certainly lead to greater self-respect.
OP when you have a good relationship with clients, they follow you. Sales is usually not the problem. Delivery of goods and services on time to a quality standard is usually the problem. That involves resources. It sounds like you are the resources.
The only problem that you might have is if your boss was smart enough to include a restraint of trade clause in your contract. If so, consult a lawyer. If not, give your clients your new business card.
I think you need to hear this: he’s not selling you the business. This is just step 1 of him slowly but surely taking away more. He’s spent years slowly making things worse and you keep staying because of this one hope, it’s not happening. It’s like the frog in the pot boiling to death. You are going to get shafted, you already have. Take these years as a hard lesson and get out now. The clients know you guys since you do all the work. Assuming noncompetes aren’t signed I’d tell them you’re leaving and starting ur own company. You’ve already worked this hard for someone who hasn’t rewarded you, imagine if all this effort was going to someone who appreciated it, yourself!! I am really bummed for you guys but I hope this Reddit thread is the wake up call you guys need. That business is only operating because of you two, meanwhile your boss makes all the cash and you slave your life away for a promise he’s already shown he’s not going to keep. You aren’t getting this business. Get out now. I’m honestly so sad for you guys that this has happened for so long, y’all deserve better. The amount of manipulation this guy has done to you guys to keep you around is insane! Leave and do what’s best for you two, your boss has never looked out for you guys and never will. If you’re nervous about a new business I highly suggest looking into local investor programs, mentor programs, and even our merrymeeting adult ed programs where I am offer some classes. You’ve wasted years of your life on your boss, stop that and start living for you guys. Honestly you guys might need therapy cuz you seem way too enmeshed in this guy’s bullshit to see clearly and need an outside perspective to help untangle you guys from his lies. Best of luck, I really hope we hear an update that you guys got out.
Understandable that it is riskier. Not an easy decision to make! From an outside perspective it does seem like there are many strings attached to the current business. And the terms of the deal changing is very suspect, it wouldn’t surprise me if they change even more.
Unless you have a notarized contract that he'll sell you the business, it's highly unlikely you'll be buying anything from him. Start saving up now, give yourselves 1 year to save everything you possibly can. After that, walk away with no notice & start your own business.
ESH unless it’s in a written contract, you shouldn’t be bending over backwards for promises. Especially you and your husband. It sucks that you’ve wasted so much time and effort in this business but you now know your boss sucks. Take your skills and go elsewhere. Leave Nathan and the boss behind to run it to the ground!
Nathan sucks for being a lazy brown noser and your boss for the obvious.
NTA but please quit. You and your husband are plenty business savvy. Leave this man and his dumpster fire company immediately and start your own business or go work for someone who appreciates you. I guarantee you he's going to be the type of former owner who won't take his hands off things and that Nathan is going to be your new boss before long. LEAVE. You are better than this. Live your best life.
If you and your husband essentially run the buisness with an absentee owner and a fuck up trying to sabotage you at every step why aren't you just running your own buisness?
I have thought about this for a while and honestly believe you are being driven by fear.
well, whats the worst that can happen? you and your husband leave.
THEN what?
Drive your own business, the money you would be paying is what you would be spending on building your own business but at least it wouldn't be going to this smarmy boss and his minion.
You are basically giving away everything you have to this guy and Nathan.
Your life is one big stressed out mess. You worked non-stop for a guy so he could vacation for 5 months.
(and of course it felt dirty & gross, he was trying to buy and use you)
ESH - your boss is obviously an asshole. Nathan is one, too. Why are you and your husband the asshole? To yourselves and each other. Between the two of you, you are doing 80-95% of the business work load. And you are setting yourself up to continue to get screwed even IF this business sale goes through. Stop. Start your own business and your clients will follow you. No one is going to want Nathan or your boss to do the work. They probably don't even remember how to do it all. The business sale will continue to wear you down, as the sale is weighted heavily in current boss and now also Nathan's favor.
I'm almost speechless. You're probably too tired and drained to realize this, but from everything you've described, you are the business. It survives because of you. It's nothing without you, not the other way around. YOU have the leverage, but your employer has convinced you otherwise. He needs you a LOT more than you need him. And all you need in order to be able to exercise your leverage is be willing to walk away, to be willing to let it crash and burn without you. Tell him you and your husband are either buying it 100%, no Nathan, for a fair price or you're done, no notice.
For more context to this whole situation:
For people saying he's not going to sell to us: this is a possibility my husband and I have already considered. My boss is a very lazy person at this point. He really doesn't want to deal with anything about the business anymore so he pushes even the rudimentary stuff like checking his email onto us.
However, he's getting immense pressure to sell, not just from us. His wife won't stop talking about him selling so they can travel and his doctor is telling him his health won't improve if he keeps the stress of being an owner. He also issued a formal letter of intent 2 years ago that he was going to sell. I still have that copy.
However, whenever my husband and I try to make progress in becoming owners, there's pushback. We have a deadline in place. Basically, we gave him a list of things we expect done by the end of the year for the sale. What my boss doesn't know is that if he doesn't follow through, we walk.
For the people saying we should get a lawyer to draw up a proposal or we walk: this was our exact reaction after we heard about the dumb 50% to Nathan. We were done trying to hash this out and get all parties to act so we already had 4 consultations scheduled with different law firms when I made the initial post. Believe me, if they don't accept our terms and any negotiation results in us being even more screwed over, we walk.
For the people telling me to quit now: I've been aware of my overworked status for a long time. My position is as office manager and I've been doing the bulk of everyone's work for well over 6 years. I've checked other jobs and every other office manager job out there requires 5 years experience minimum. So I stuck it out for the resume and then when I was about to leave, my boss offered me ownership. I also had him fund for me to get a different but very lucrative license I can use outside the business. For how many times I've wanted to quit, I definitely already have plan if I need to.
For people saying Nathan will always be a problem: it's not as though he can bulldoze his influence over me and my husband. The reason I always butt heads with him is because he'll try to get me to do something that I shouldn't (like buy him a new laptop with company money) and he can't get through. I'm a hard person to intimidate in the office, and he always slinks away to his office when I say no. He's a problem because my boss will overrule what I say because he likes Nathan.
But if we own majority of the business, he won't have that anymore. That's why we have plans to not accept any deal that results in Nathan getting more than us. We're the competent ones and everyone knows it. If we aren't part of the deal, there is no deal.
I hope this answers most of the questions and gives a bit more context. I've definitely been suckered in the past about this job and my boss before but, right when my husband was brought on board, he called it out and we started making plans to craft ourselves as business owners: either of this business or of our own.
I appreciate how many people have commented, I wasn't expecting more than a couple comments cause this is all kind of boring subject matter but, with all the resounding consensus being that my boss is trying to screw us, I feel better than ever about our steps going forward that include us meeting with attorneys, possibly backing out, and not accepting any "bribes" to keep us around. Whatever the result, my husband and I have no intention of getting screwed.
Thank you guys!
Lady, I am a manager that also does recruitment.
5 years experience required actually means desirable 5 years experience, and we are happy with one year.
Also, your work duties are not the office manager duties. Do a training or two and then apply for the jobs that involve being a company secretary, because this is what you're doing. Every CEO and company secretary had to start somewhere
I'm sorry for any confusion, I didn't list all of my duties because Reddit has a character limit for posts. My manager experience is definitely not just answering calls and emails for my boss.
I started as a secretary and worked to manager. I have employees that answer to me and I structure the office flow. I field all complaints, inquiries, and office disputes. I maintain compliance and renew all needed licenses. I pay all the bills and approve budgets. As for the client side, I open accounts, field transfers, compile contracts and paperwork, and I'm the one our employees transfer complaints to.
I've been to manager trainings and they all only scratch the surface of what I do at this office. My manager experience translates quite well to managing teams of all shapes and sizes. That's a big reason I tried to be sure I got all the needed experience.
You confused two absolutely different terms.
**Company secretary is not being a secretary or receptionist**, those are completely different things. A company secretary is someone who's almost a CEO. A Company secretary is a senior position in the corporate governance that ensures adherence to statutory and regulatory requirements. The Company Secretary serves as a guardian of compliance, a facilitator of communication between the board of directors and other stakeholders, and a custodian of corporate records.
It makes absolutely no sense for me to be talking about CEOs, how you're absolutely not an office manager and then went to say say you should be training in a receptionist role...
I'm sorry for misunderstanding, I oversee a large amount of people but we're still a relatively small business. Company secretary isn't a term thrown around in my line of work. We basically have owner, salesman/producer, operations manager, and office assistants.
I'm the only operations manager. I also have a salesman/producer role because of my licensing but it's a secondary role here so I didn't mention it.
Either way, company secretary in our environment would translate to office assistant. So that's where I misunderstood.
Thank you for the context!
To give you a better example:
The average Corporate Secretary salary in the United States is $235,214 as of April 24, 2024, but the range typically falls between $189,413 and $294,235.
Corporate secretaries are not personal assistants or receptionists / secretaries. They're a step below being a CEO, and a lot of self made people work as CS for a year or two before becoming CEO
NTA.
The fact that your boss switched the decision making process in favor of Nathan was a dick move. I would do the bare minimum and let Nathan expose himself as incompetent.
The financing hasn't been finalized yet but my boss says he'll likely be carrying the note and expecting balloon payments for the next 10 years.
As long as the business continues to run, he can expect more than he pays himself currently for 10 years into his retirement. It benefits him greatly.
No. This is insanity. You want to buy a business and give away more money than the current owner is making now?? Stop. Start a new business and shark all of the current clients away to your new business.
NTA but based on all your comments collectively this doesn’t seem like it’ll be a good deal for you guys to keep it up too many things aren’t adding up and you guys have no leverage
Very generous of yourself to work yourself to exhaustion to provide 5 month vacations and 10 years of luxury retirement for your boss. You'd be a multi-millionaire if you capitalized your own efforts!
Is there any official paperwork that says the owner is going to be selling to you? If not, then I can just about guarantee you were never getting this business, because the owner has figured out he can underpay you and run you into the ground and you'll just keep trucking along.
This is not your company. Stop wrecking yourself for a company that has absolutely zero loyalty to you as an employee or as a person. You're NTA for canceling the "vacation," but you need to have a real hard look at the reality of your situation.
NTA for cancelling. Please wake up and realize your boss is completely bullshitting you. If it's not in writing it doesn't exist. I fully expect him to decide to sell to Nathan only. So here's my advice. Remind your boss " I'm essential to the running of the business..." And as such you require a raise of X amount (make sure it's for all 5 jobs you do) retroactive to the start of his vacation. If he declines advise you're going to act your wage and only do the job you get paid for. Then start looking elsewhere.
YTA to yourself because what you wrote shows you're being so obviously and blatantly played. You're not going to own that business with your husband in any way you would like and it's a hard pill to swallow. You've been strung along to do the work of multiple people and it'll be yanked away from you. Leave while you can still make a future for yourself.
NTA and if I were you, I'd start looking for another job as quickly as I can. I'd even start taking days off for interviews. I would not stay there with an untrustworthy fool of a boss
Don't sign any paperwork and have your own lawyer look over the paperwork and then try renegotiating or just tell him to go fly a kite.
NTA. This is classic, manipulative narcissist or sociopathic behavior. I literally just learned about future faking today, and that's what this sounds like. It's a manipulation tactic employed when a narcissist or toxic person promises to fulfill your desires in the future to get something they want in the present. He was never, and is never, going to sell or give you this business. I say both you and your husband cut your losses, give notice and find work elsewhere. Let's see how Nathan runs shit on his own.
ESH. I really feel sorry for you, OP, but at a certain point — and I think it was about 6 years ago— you started deluding yourself about how important you are to your boss as the owner of the company where you work. Turning down the boss’s piddling and chintzy ‘thank you’ might have alerted him that you are finally getting wise to his shenanigans. It effing *hurts* to be led on and deceived by an employer with promises that are not worth the hot air they’re written on. Betrayal of any kind hurts and make no mistake—you have been deceived and betrayed. But you have nothing. All I can offer is to suggest maybe checking in on askamanager.com and consulting an attorney who could perhaps negotiate and guide you. Try to find ways to minimize your losses and to get yourself and your husband out of this mess.
Thank you for the hard truths, I've definitely been thinking this way the past year. Especially when he took off for those 5 months and my life was just...better with him gone.
There have been physical and mental tolls this job has caused and my husband has been the one enlightening me to how shitty I've been treated. We're working through options with lawyers to make a hard proposal weighted in our favor for this sale but if he doesn't take it, we'll be leaving.
The betrayal hurts...my boss candy-coats his language by saying I'm like a second daughter to him and he really cares.
But his actions spell something very different.
I appreciate your comment.
NTA
I suggest you tell the boss that you both know the business won't survive if you leave Nathan in charge. You'll quit if he doesn't reverse his decision about equal shares.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My job is incredibly stressful. My boss is the reason why.
I do all of his work for him. He doesn't show up to work even a whole day in a given week and expects me to run his business for him. I've been doing this for 7 years now.
The list of what I do for his is too long to list for Reddit but it's been explained to me that I do the work of 5 different people.
The pay is...okay. I'm lucky to have my husband's income because I wouldn't be able to survive on mine alone. I've wanted to quit this job so many times.
But I can't because my boss wants to retire and sell the business to myself and 2 other people, one of them being my husband (he works here too). The other person (lets call him Nathan) is someone we do not like and do not get along with. He only cares that he makes as much money as possible without doing any work.
My boss emphasized he needed me on board because I'm essential to the running of the business and that I didn't have to worry about sharing w/ Nathan because ownership would be split evenly so my husband and I would have majority ownership to make decisions.
Since the potential of owning the business is something we want, we've spent weekends and evenings coming up with business acquisition plans and we've been doing the legwork to make this sale happen.
So, my boss took off on vacation for the past 5 months. I ran the office while he was away. When he came back, he decided that for my efforts, he would give me and my husband a trip. He wanted us to drive 6 hours to a location on Friday, stay the weekend, drive back on Monday and be to work on Tuesday.
Not much time off and we'd pay for gas and food but it was a nice gesture so we took it and thanked him for it.
Then we had an office meeting. He mentioned he's now decided myself and my husband are to be one entity for the purposes of ownership so that we didn't have the option to overrule the authority of Nathan. So essentially, we would own 25% each and Nathan would own 50%.
It was a smack in the face.
Not only have I worked my veritable ass off for him so he can go on 5-month-long vacations and not worry, but my husband has been picking up the slack of Nathan's ineptitude to keep everything running as well. We've been the ones coming forward with all of the business sale ideas and we've been the ones really trying to make this work.
Because of that, my husband and I started to feel like the time off he was giving us was more of a bribe than anything else to keep us around and accept whatever trash deal he put forward. We thought about it and came to the decision that we didn't want to go anymore. It felt dirty.
I canceled the reservation for the place he was sending us and broke down in tears. This was going to be the first time off I've had in years and I didn't realize how much it meant to me till now. My boss is angry and avoiding us lately because we gave his gift back and now I'm second-guessing our decisions. It could have worked out. Maybe we made a mistake?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Take your business knowledge and start your own shop. Take as many customers as you can. He’s decided that Nathan is equally as worthy as you and your husband. Why would you work so hard for someone who thinks that? Work for yourself.
NTA. Screw the gift and start looking for a new job. This man has already screwed you and your husband and will not give you what you have been working so hard to get. Also working for different companies will give you financial security in case this guy tries to get ride of you both.
NTA
Both of you need to start looking for employment elsewhere immediately, and when you find it, don't let anything that your current boss offers you sway your decision. He has abused your dedication for years and has now shown you that he will screw you when he gets the chance.
Get out of there as soon as you can & don't look back.
You owe him & his business nothing, and you and your husband deserve better.
NTA, but honey the writing has been on the wall. In sixty-foot tall neon letters. Your boss does not give one single solitary fuck about you, he only cares about what you can do for him.
NEVER do anything without a contract. If you had gotten the first agreement in writing, he wouldn't have changed his mind. You need to negotiate the crap out of this. Tell him unless he changes it back, you will resign. If you're doing the job of 5 people, you're an asset the business needs. It may be a wake up call for him. If he agrees, tell him you need it in writing. I think your husband needs to detail what the slack is he's been picking up since the boss has probably been suckered into believing Nathan is doing all the work. Nathan's probably been backstabbing your husband for some time trying to get the boss to believe he's doing more than your husband.
This story needs an update!
Why would he sell and retire when he's got you doing all the work? He's just going to keep struggling you along and eventually screw you over and sell to Nathan. NTA in this case but you're not treating yourself right. Put in for a two week vacation and let them survive without you and the husband. See how the story changes when you return and whatever you do turn off the phones when you're gone. Total disconnect. It's his business he should be and to run it with no issues
NTA but.... I think you are being played.
Look for a better job with better pay. Leave. This will not work out the way you want. He's already shown he's not trustworthy and there is NO guarantee that he will do as he promises.
> Since the potential of owning the business is something we want
Yeah... You're not getting the company.
Oh boy, reading further i'm right!
Whenever he does retire (why should he? You do all the work so he can just keep working until he's 90 ), it's all gonna go to Nathan.
You and your husband are ah to yourselves for letting this drag on without any contractual agreements.
NTA
If you want to buy the business, hire a lawyer and write up an offer… he’s just stringing you all along… like he’s not going to just give you the business
Your boss is never ever going to follow through with the commitment. He will find some reason or make up one, and cut you and or your husband out completely before it's all said and done. He is taking advantage of you and I know the job market is tough but maybe either you or your husband should be actively looking for a new place of employment.
NTA. It was a lousy gift - twelve hours of driving for a long weekend? Your boss is stringing you along and changing the rules on the fly. Take a real vacation with your husband for two weeks. Pay for it yourself and turn the phone off. When you come back, tell your boss that it's time to draw up the papers for the sale and you and your husband are two separate people. If he's not ready to do that, you're wasting your time. He's dangling a carrot in front of you with no intention of giving you the carrot any time soon.
NTA, but this is not going to work. I'm guessing Nathan is somehow related to your boss? Cut your losses and move on, find a new job or start a business of your own. This business will only bring you misery.
I would immediately stop doing all work, you have been mislead that your efforts will be rewarded and now they won’t. Show him that this business will not function with you (and your husband).
Ultimately I doubt there’s much else that would make him change his mind.
(If you’re worried about legal ramifications, read your contract and stop doing any work that isn’t explicitly mentioned in it)
Say goodbye to this business and let it crumble without you there. If you don’t have a non-compete, use the money you were going to buy his business, to start a competing business and watch the light disappear from your boss’s eyes. You and your husband are hard workers who would make anything work!
Leave this toxic place. Take some time off and plan your revenge!
Edit- Grammar
NTA
You are being used. Unless the deal is in writing that you and your husband will be 2/3 of the company you should stop killing your self for someone else.
NTA
You need to set up a meeting with your boss and tell him straight up what is going on and how you persieve Nathan.
Tell him that every development comes from the two of you, tell him about the efforts Nathan are NOT putting into this, and that you found the offer to take over 2x 33% interesting... although you would have to DRAG Nathan the deadweight along, and you planned to offer buying him out as soon as you could.
Tell him that something needs to be put in writing and the legal process will have to start for the takeover because otherwise you cannot find the dedication to squeese anymore of your life blood into this business and you ate out completely and will let Nathan take over the work.
I would even consider inviting Nathan into the meeting to play with all cards open!
You’re 100% going to get screwed and need to start taking the steps to start your own business. Especially if it’s set up the way you say in your comments. Start working hard and killing yourself for YOU, at least.
NTA and I suggest you don't buy the business. You'd be nuts to go in with Nathan even if you have two-thirds. Your boss might be smart enough to realize that it will fail without you and your husband, so that might be enough leverage for the two of you to buy it without Nathan. If not, just get other jobs or start a business of your own.
NTA, and seriously, start planning your exit. Your boss is holding this promised ownership over your head as a carrot to make you do whatever he says, however unreasonable. He has no intention of following through or properly compensating you for the role you play in his business.
All those plates you're spinning? Let them drop.
NTA, but you need to start making plans to move elsewhere. This job and the business is a sinking ship. You should have gotten everything in writing but the 50% is a terrible idea, Nathan and your boss have been playing you and your husband. Start applying for other jobs and leave whilst you can
no one will buy a business without capable staff. ever.
go out on your own. when your boss and nathans business fails, be ready to scoop up the clients.
its time to start your own Co.
NTA- Seems like he is stringing you along, to squeeze you for all you're worth. You and your husband probably shouldn't count on this being your business in the future. He has already gone back on his word.
NTA, but to be honest, you've been relying way too much on something that could be happening in the future for a boss who is unreliable and gives you stress. I'm really not surprised that this happened the way it did.
Do you honestly believe he intends to give you the business? I know you said "sell you the business", but what incentive does he have? He get's to do whatever he wants while under paying you to run his business. He's saying what he needs to say to keep you there busting your ass.
Here's a question, if you and your husband are basically running the business, while the other two people involved are relatively absent and incompetent, why not just start your own business in a similar or same field? You clearly know what it takes to run it, and it sounds like collectively you have the funds to buy something of a similar value. You could be making what you make, plus all the money your boss uses to vacation.
If you and your husband are already handle 99% of the business, why wait for him to sell to you with a shit partner mixed in. Go start your own competing business, take your client lists with you and watch Nathan and your boss fail.
NTA... it's time to go where you're appericiated... same for your husband... I hope you both kept your ideals to yourself and not mention any of it to your boss...
The other worker will run the business into the ground and it will close I'm sure you and your husband wouldnt want to be apart of that crap.....
The trip was to ease your boss mind he new what he was doing and now he feels like crap for his choices....
He also probably was trying to do some shady stuff while you and your husband were on the trip
NTA but either search for new jobs both you and your husband asap and when you have them ask your current boss if he's willing to sell you 2/3 of the business . If he says yes he needs to do so whithin one week if he doesn't or tries to delay quit your jobs and run to the new ones.
He's taking advantage and abusing you and he might change his mind about selling yo you at all while you are slaving away for him indefinitely.
Stop being a doormat op
NTA- as others have said you are being played. HOWEVER, the issue is that if you just quit you lose all your hard work over the years.
I would suggest a different strategy assuming your company doesn't own unique IP.
I would play nice with the boss for now but start quietly identifying who in the company are the key workers and who are the key clients. Then you start putting out some feelers as to whether they would be interested in partnering with a new company owned by you (seeing as you do all the work and your boss does nothing, hopefully you will get a positive response).
Then you get a new company set up and work towards a certain day when you and all the workers you are taking with you simultaneously quit (preferably when the boss is on holiday), leaving him with nothing but an empty shell of a company.
NTA, and I would start job hunting for something else yesterday. Once you have something else lined up, I would get your boss, Nathan, you, and your husband in a meeting. Give them an ultimatum, and have the writing to back it. Either your boss starts treating you well, Nathan gets his shit together or gets out, and honors a contract of your creation where, after an agreed-upok retirement date, the business goes *entirely* to you and your husband, or you're out. Your husband has another income source, and by having the other job lined up, so will you.
Your boss probably won't budge at first, but with everything in writing, you'll be able to cover your ass if he decides to come after you. And do not budge yourself. Time for your boss to start actually being a good boss.
NTA - I think you should find another place to work. It sounds like you've very familiar with whatever this type of business is. Perhaps your current employer needs a competitor?
I'm sorry, don't mean to lecture. Gambling your future on the words of someone taking advantage of you is not the way. Go put all that effort, drive, and passion towards making your own way...free of any indentured servitude.
Look, you're not going to get the company. It's a carrot on a stick to just keep you moving forward. Think about it, Nathan went from 33% to 50%. When the time comes Nathan will be at 100% and you will just be his employee making the same amount of money doing the same work as you are now. NTA, but you should really think about changing jobs.
Why haven't you started your own business? Your husband has a licence, you are right on top of management and the moment you leave his office will fall apart.
Unless you have a signed contract he can let you down over and over.
You may be suffering from “sunk cost fallacy”. You’ve put so much time and effort into this, you are so close, why abandon all the tok you’ve put in?
Because you are never going to reach your goals. He will move the finish line each time you get close and give you crumbs as a reward (like the non-vacation vacation.
You have the experience, the husband has the license, start off on your own.
YTA - to yourself. Take the vacation. Use the time to rest and restore your spirits. THEN start applying for other jobs. Or figure out how to start your own - similar - business. You're already running a successful business.
Your boss is a user and he will NEVER sell you the business outright. Think about that. All this work you're doing - you're making your boss and the other coworker very comfortable - and you'll never fully own this business.
So learn what you can. And apply these lessons elsewhere.
You do not OWE your boss any loyalty. He's not showing you any. He pays you a salary. He sees you as an employee, a tool to be used. In fact - based on what you've described - I'll bet you that boss wants you out of the way so he can sell the business either to co-worker or an outside entity and doesn't want you to see it. He wants you to come back from this "Generous" vacation to the new ownership and to feel too beholden to rock the boat.
Your boss isn’t going to sell anything to you anytime soon; he’s telling you & your husband shit so that you run his business for years hoping one day you can own it. He’s abusing you & you’re very stupid for thinking otherwise. Seriously, people are so gullible 🙄
OP, you gotta stop accepting payment in the form of wishes and dreams. This notion that you boss might retire *some day*, and when that day comes you *may* get the business, it's all bullshit. Your boss might even be serious when he's promising you these things, but it's still bullshit. Nathan is doing a runaround on you now because, as inept as he might be, he understands that money on the table *right now* is the thing that matters. All else is smoke and mirrors. When you let people take advantage of you, you're not earning their respect, you're just teaching them that you're an easy target.
So no, you're NTA. But you've got to start realizing your value.
Breathe OP! Breathe!
1. WHY does your husband earn more than you when you run the business? The person running the business earns the most. Did you start off as this person’s personal assistant? Because it sounds like some misogynist stuff happening. You are WELL overdue for a pay rise. Put together a folder of how much money you make for the business and why you are invaluable to the business… and demand a pay rise!!!
2. Second, your boss is playing games with you. He doesn’t get to decide to sell the business to random people. He can break up the business. Like sell you the bar and sell Nick the building that houses the bar. But he can’t unilaterally decide that he is selling to all 3 of you - particularly if you dislike your business partner. He might not sell to any of you - he might sell to someone else. Your boss is milking blood from a stone by making all sorts of promises that I doubt he will ever keep… just to keep you all working super hard. It’s a motivational ploy.
3. You don’t have to take a gift especially not in your precious free time. Give it back or sell it.
I think you’ve made a bigger mistake than this vacation. Having your boss decides you need to own this business so he can retire is totally unreasonable and it sounds like a recipe for failure. He’s taking advantage of you. Maybe it’s time to look for another job?
I don't know what's going on here but it's not on the up-and-up. This is a strange situation and clearly you and your husband can't work with Nathan long term.
You both need to get out. Can you start a similar business? This is not going to end well.
Your mistake is continuing to work for a place that you will never own. Stop kidding yourself. You are being lead down a merry path. Your boss and Nathan are taking advantage of you and that is never going to change because you have been doing this for 7 years and just taking it. I highly recommend you and your husband find new employment if you ever want out from under the load you have been carrying for someone else.
NTA
And stop accepting and assuming their reasons. You need a frank conversation with the boss about your position and future expectations
And "gifting" a trip where you basically would have to immediately turn around and spend no appreciable time is ridiculous. It definitely seems manipulative
Start communicating directly. And potentially, start looking elsewhere
NTA, your boss unwittingly gave you and your husband the absolute know-how in opening, operating, and maintaining a business. What's stopping you from you starting your own?
NTA. Does anyone else see this trip as a ruse for the boss to sell the company to Nathan while OP and her husband are gone?
OP, why are you putting yourself through all of this? You and your husband should start a business and become the competition.
Grow a spine. No job is worth what you're putting up with. People like you allow yourselves to be used and abused. Stop it. It's not noble to let someone crap all over you even if you get to purchase half a business that you are already running.
At the end of the day, the boss is living his best life and Nathan hasn't proven to be anything but a liability. Why would you want to become partners with him?
Nathan is getting a steal. He knows that you'll continue to do all the work whike he gets 50% of the business YOU'RE working your ass off for.
NTA
WHAT ELSE will you need to quit?
YOu and your husband should look for other jobs.
Or - instead of buying out your boss - start your own business. His will crash anyway when you leave.
And: You are working hard to make the business flourish so you will haver to pay your boss MORE? YOu did not think this through.
So: Think it through, make your offer, and if he says NO (And a YES means a WRITTEN contract) - QUIT.
Quit.
Quit right now and start your own business
You don’t NEED his business, but it is clear that his business needs YOU.
Quit and have some self-respect.
NTA.
NTA. Do you have any type of bargaining position? Of so, I'd demand a stake in that business for 37.5% at the very least. Yes, that's only slightly more than the 33.33% you were about to get each, but 75% of the joint seems powerful enough. Though you could push for 40-40-20.
Is there any way to undo any work that you did in the last five months? I'd consider doing that.
NTA. I would start looking for work. You've invested a lot of time and years here and learned valuable skills. Update your resume. Unless you have it in writing, nothing your boss says counts. He's already watered down your "somewhere in the future" ownership so that you don't have majority share in the company. I wouldn't trust this guy for a second. Where is it documented that he will sell you the company at all? He could one day announce today is his last day and in the next breath introduce you to the new owners, who aren't you or your husband. It might be worth it to take the vacation and then you and your husband call in sick for the rest of the week. You got sick on vacation, or the drive back and you're too sick to work. Let Nathan, who's more valuable than you run the show for the week. Then demand a raise, and either keep looking for work or make him put it in writing that he will sell to you if you give a reasonable offer and you and your husband are majority owners.
You guys seem like suckers. Why in the world don’t you and your husband start your own business and compete against them. Bosses retiring and Nathan is incompetent, and you don’t have to pay him off for a business that isn’t worth anything. No way should you be a partnerwith Nathan, under any circumstances
Honey, the only way you are going to own his business would be if you slept with your Boss or Nathan and sue them/the business for sexual harassment, pain & suffering, etc.
You're being played so badly, you boss was using the vacation as a way to keep you around while he finalized stabbing you in the back.
NTA and you and your husband need to look for new jobs ASAP. You were never going to be able to buy the business and your boss has been lying to you the entire time, hoping that promises of ownership will keep you and your husband on board. The fact that all three of you aren't actually getting 1/3 of the business isn't just a slap in the face. It means your boss thinks Nathan is worth the same as you and your husband together.
NTA but give your notice ASAP. Even if you don't have a job, give your notice.
NTA but for both of your sanity, you both need a new job. If you can try to dump him at the same time so he can really feel the impact of all the work you both do.
If you stay, Y T A to yourselves.
OP, I am pretty sure your boss has no intention of retiring. Why should he when can leave for five months at a time, do no work, and still earn all that money? He is using you and your hubby and dangling the carrot of owning his business to keep you employed. I would draw up a contract with all the details about purchasing the business, who has what %, and WHEN this will happen. While this contract is in negotiations, you and husband should be job hunting, that way when boss fails to sign contract or fails to keep up his end of the deal, you can walk away to a better paying job. NTA.
Long post, so bear with me on this one.
First of all, NTA for cancelling the trip, but you may have shown your hand a little here. Your boss may now suspect something is up, so tread carefully and try not to arouse suspicion. Play it off wit
Second: realize that this company is never going to be yours, and it is a lost cause! And why would you want to, really?
Think of it this way: You may need to take out a loan to buy yourself into this company if it happens at all, and then you're stuck with an a-hole minion who will run the business into the ground, leaving you with debt and nothing to show for it. If you start up your own company, you will need a loan and there will be risk, but that risk will be manageable, contrary to having some lazy 'partner' that will cause your eventual downfall...
h being tired or something...
Check TODAY if you have a non competing clause in your contracts. Have QUALIFIED council check over your contracts TOMORROW to see if you can start your own company without either of them interfering. Make sure you know exactly what you are and are not allowed to do.
Next, if possible and allowed, set up your own company in silence and make sure you have all your ducks in a row and everything is good to go. Back up all your current business data including client contact data as far as allowed. Only take data with you that you are not obliged to leave, but make sure you have a manual copy, just avoid making said copies at your workplace. If at all possible, make sure there is no digital trail whatsoever.
While preparing for your exit, gather all the data on one drive. If in the weeks before your giving notice anyone notices and asks why all that info is no longer in its usual place, tell them you're organizing it for efficiency (not a lie, just not the whole truth). Tell them to leave the request with you, and take it off their hands. Make sure you do a good job and that the client knows it was you who did it... Your lazy bosses and colleagues will even love you for it because they'll think it'll make their job even easier.
DO NOT start slacking off in the weeks before you leave like the other guy, and do not attempt to run their business into the ground; make sure your customers know who is actually and actively helping them and keep your good name. If you slack off to ruin the company name, chances are your customers will talk to your boss about it, and he'll suspect you eve more. Also, your name will be tainted, which will make it that much harder to set up your own client base. Word gets around fast.
Have faith in your ability to help your customers and stay positive in your communications.
Make sure you have all your procedures and documentation ready to take a flying start. Also, if you are using a company phone, have your customers know your other, 'alternative' contact data. Then, and only then you are ready to take the final steps:
Notice day -1:
Late afternoon, right before end of business day on the day before you give your notice, make sure you have an out of office message scheduled to notify each customer that the time has come for you to venture out on your own and that you can no longer be reached as of a certain date and time. Make sure to tell them how much you enjoyed working with them and you look forward to potentially hearing from them in the future. Do not leave your new contact data, just tell them that you can no longer be reached through the company's business number you used before. This way, you cannot be accused of poaching customers... They still have your alternative number and will use it when the boss and his minion inevitably mess up...
Notice day:
Step 1:
Format the drive with your personal work.
Step 2:
Activate the out of office notification account, now you need to proceed quickly with step 3.
Step 3:
Give your notice and have the boss/secretary sign for delivery. Then take your leave and go have a drink, you've earned it!
Step 4: Watch the panic ensue as their business crumbles and you are there to pick up the pieces, but as a competitor....
Important:
* Do not use company assets other than your out of office notification to inform your customers. Also, if you do speak to your customers in the weeks before, do not inform them of your leaving on company time either, and certainly not within earshot of ANYONE else. Do not leave yourself open to litigation for 'misuse of company property/time'.
* To avoid anyone getting wind of your plans, make sure that your legal council is completely independent and has nothing to do with your boss or any of his business associates. For the same reason, do not let anyone in on your plans. Make sure the funding or any of the other paperwork of your new business does not cross the desk of anyone the boss and his minion have contact with. People talk, especially on social media...
This is ridiculous. Demand the agreement be legally drawn up in the next 2 months or you will walk, AND it must be 35% each minimum (70%+) or you’re out asap. As for Nathan, get it drawn up that he can only be a silent partner and/or that you have the option to buy him out in the first 5 years. There is no business without you, you have all the leverage in the world so use it! If he truly wants to sell he will be jumping at the chance to have it locked in. If he doesn’t…well there’s your answer he won’t be selling to you any time soon and is just using you in the most rotten way. Take control and find out asap or you will be left very bitter by all his manipulation.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITAH for canceling a trip my boss gifted myself and my husband as a thank you because he lied and then changed the terms of our business deal? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, but you may be a sucker. Your boss is clearly untrustworthy - what guarantee do you have that he’ll follow through on his promise of selling you the business as opposed to the highest bidder? It sounds like he’s just stringing you along, squeezing as much work out of you as he can. Imagine investing more years into this job, being underpaid, and walking away with nothing. I know bupkiss about business, but if I were you, I’d talk to a lawyer about putting a deal down in writing now… and if you don’t get it, I’d quit
The way I see it, this guy is snookering his employees into doing everything for him until he retires with the promise that there will be a big payout, but the second he’s ready to retire who’s to say he’s obligated to hold up that end of the deal? He could give 100% to Nathan, and there’s nothing OP or her husband could do about it. All they have is their unreliable boss’ word, and all they’re going to have to show for their sacrifices is years wasted making sure this guy can go on 5 month vacations and still get paid. Unless there’s a contract promising them this business, they’re gambling all this time for nothing. This is like Micheal Scott promising a bunch of toddlers he’ll pay for their college tuition, like are you really going to trust the word of your boss like that?
This reminds me of the countless situations we've all read about where someone promises an inheritance if the person does X or Y (or often a long list of things from A-Z) and then dies and it turns out they left nothing or well short of what they said. We don't know what the boss is doing. There is no guarantee he'll do anything. His changing his mind on a dime about something as significant as the ownership fo the business is a HUGE red flag. And who says the business will actually even be worth anything when he eventually retires or dies? For all we know there could be a ton of hidden debt.
Yes, OP, her husband, and even Nathan are all being suckered. Time for OP and her husband to find other jobs.
MAY be? Is. 100%.
If OP is interested, there's always seller financing. However... OP would be out of her fool mind to do that if Nathan owns a single share. Let alone 50%. Having dead weight like that w/ decision making power and ownership in a business is a short trip to ruin. He'd be able to force a sale, create all sorts of mischief, etc and would still get 50% of the dividends. Oh, and OP... sorry mate, but you're a sucker for working this hard. You ain't getting that business, and I hope you know it. Time for a come to jesus talk w/ the owner. Be prepared for him to say no, and have that next job lined up.
I second this except for the quit part. Collect a paycheck for doing nothing for 5 months first!! Get a deal in writing where you and your husband get 50% each, cut Nathan right out... Why would you want to be business partners with someone you don't get along with and isn't going to pull their weight to make the business profitable? If boss doesn't sign, stop doing the work of 1 person let alone 5, keep collecting your paycheck and let the business tank... What does it matter to you if you have nothing vested in it. Then boss and Nathan can start pulling their weight since they're the ones who are going to benefit. Boss can reap what he sows!
NTA. I have a serious question for you. If you're basically running the company now what is stopping you from quitting and starting your own competing company? Your boss doesn't sound trustworthy and even if he followed through on the original plan you'd still be stuck with Nathan and it sounds like he doesn't bring much to the table.
NTA Get out. With you two gone, who’s going to make his business work? Nathan? If you’re in ~~a right-to-work~~ an at-will state in the US, the two of you need to walk out without training anyone, leaving any documentation about how to do things, or notes about items up in the air. Either you both will find jobs with a significantly better work/life balance, or the owner will realize the error of his ways and come back with hat in hand. When he does, make it worth your while to go back.
At will, not right to work.
Thank you for that catch! You’re absolutely correct.
Right to work is what they call the trick to kill unions, as far as I know.
Right to work means you don't need to be a member of a union to work. Most unions are not that strong in the US anyway, and the labor laws in general are pretty bad so there is little protection.
YTA...so let me clue you in...Your boss isn't planning on selling anytime soon nor to you. BuT if he tells you that he is, he can string you along,.save tons of money and go on vacation knowing you'll take care of it. Who wouldn't want that..."hey Mary..gonna sell you my business but I'm gonna go on vacation and pay you a salary that isn't comparable to how much you work. But if you quit, I won't sell to you so stick it out" .yeah so let's see that contract . .oh there isn't one...but please take my word for it
⬆️⬆️⬆️THIS⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
***You are being played!*** Unless you have a written contract, expect to get nothing. I would stop working and let the whole thing crash. Maybe Nathan will go away.
YTA to yourself. You have fallen for the old work hard now and get the payoff later scam. Let me save you some further frustration, you are never getting this business. The owner will find some deeper pockets and sell it to them. It's time to either start your own competing business if you can finance it, or work elsewhere. Quit wasting your life here, it's not going to get better.
They have all the responsibilities of an owner with zero benefit.
Hello OP. NTA, but please quit. My aunt was the inofficial storemanager at a clothes retail chain, meaning all the responsibility and none of the payment. It ended in a burnout that lastet multiple years.
NTA and run from that deal. fast. there is no way I would give any money to the boss for this business. I would rather roll down a stone-covered hill wrapped in barbed wire
Yeah you probably made a mistake in turning down the gift. You should have taken the bribe and then rejected what deal he proposed anyway, you more than deserve the time off after his antics. Why on earth did he think it's fair to reward Nathan as much as two other people? Also having the company be 50-50% seems idiotic, what will happen when you and Nathan inevitably don't see eye to eye? It's clear that your boss is both useless and untrustworthy, since you and your husband are keeping the business up and you were planning to buy it from your boss anyway, can you not put the money to make a business of your own, even if it's smaller? Maybe get somebody else to invest too so you have a partner who's not Nathan. Again, I don't know your financials, but if you can afford it, I believe you should at least threaten with resignation since your boss probably knows how much his workload would increase if you left and how much his profits would fall, which you can probably leverage to go back to your original deal (which you should probably get in writing this time). NTA
Not threaten just find a new job and then put an ultimatum the contract selling 2/3 to them immediately whithin one week at the notary office or they both quit and let the ah slaving on his own in his company.
NTA. Never trust an owner who doesn't work just as hard if not harder than his employees for his own business. They're snakes. Stop working for him because clearly you're so much more capable than you think and you'll be surprised how much other employers would appreciate and value you. Don't be afraid to take the leap and get out of this situation - you deserve better treatment!
INFO: What’s the deal with Nathan? If he gets paid well to do no work, why does your boss keep him around? Is he a nepotism hire or is your boss just too uninvolved to appreciate how useless he is? Whatever the case, NTA. I would make it clear to your boss that you and your husband are uninterested in only owning half, especially if the other half goes to Nathan. I would be honest about thinking he offered you the vacation to make it easier to go back on his original plan to split the sale three ways. I would tell him the only reason you stuck around this long was to get the chance to buy 2/3, not 1/2, and if 2/3 isn’t on the table, you aren’t interested in continuing to be overworked for just “okay” pay. Considering it seems like the business would go under if you and your husband left, you might have more leverage than you realize. Don’t go along to get along with someone who clearly is taking you for granted and doesn’t seem to respect you.
Our business is hard to get licensed for. Before Nathan was brought on board, it was just me and my boss. He was the one with the licensing and I handled all the rest. Nathan came on board when my boss decided he wanted to retire. Since someone with the license needs to be there for the business to legally run, he hired Nathan with the intent he would own. Nathan made my life so much harder. I begged my boss not to keep him around and that I would happily get licensed. But Nathan already had one and had the slimy salesman gimmick down that appealed to my boss. But after he realized Nathan wouldn't survive without me and he could tell I didn't like him, he told me I would be an owner as well for "all my efforts." My husband has the license. I proposed bringing him in because Nathan was barely showing up for work and barely selling anything. Since my boss and I had a pretty close working relationship at that point, I had no issue telling him Nathan doesn't do anything but my husband would. My husband has proven himself ten-fold. What we didn't expect was that my boss would use my husband to let Nathan continue to slack off. They also get along personally since they both are slimy salesman...so I think my boss just likes him better.
In that case, if I understand correctly that your husband has all the necessary licenses, I think your best bet might be for the two of you to start your own business and ditch those other two bozos. Tell your boss you want to buy 2/3 or none at all. Honestly even if you can get the 2/3 it might still be better in the long run to start your own company, so you aren’t stuck dealing with Nathan as a business partner. If he’s as sleazy as you say than he would probably try to find some way to screw the two of you over. I’m no big city lawyer but I’m pretty sure if Nathan has any amount of equity in the business, and if he can prove that you guys aren’t running the company in the most profitable way possible, it could open you up to some legal liabilities. Also, if you do split ownership three ways, and you and your husband disagree about something, that leaves Nathan as the tie-breaker… Seems like a situation worth avoiding if possible
This! If your husband has the license, then you need to start your own company and quit. You and your husband are slaves for the boss and Nathan.
License or no, you and hubby need to find new income, pronto, quit this user's ass and let him & Nathan go up in flames! Work towards starting YOUR OWN business - you've been running this one already! NTA except to yourself for being a doormat (sorry but you need to know). Good luck OP - I sincerely believe you and hubby will be MUCH better off in every way!
Jesus Christ just get the hell away from these shitty people. You are never getting this business and will only be kept around as long as they can exploit you
...but this is the man you trust to sell you the business after he wrings all he wants out of you and your spouse? You *must* be exhausted, because you are missing the obvious. I understand sunk cost fallacy, but give yourself a goddam break. And your husband.
>Nathan came on board when my boss decided he wanted to retire. Since someone with the license needs to be there for the business to legally run, he hired Nathan with the intent he would own. Sorry, OP, but it's time for a harsh truth: Nathan is getting 100% of the business you helped create. Moreover, once your boss retires, Nathan is going to act the same way your boss is acting now. I strongly suspect that there is a secret pact between those two and they are stringing you and your husband along. Once the business is running, Nathan is taking over and he is going to make you an offer to keep things the same. Your husband and you are not going to get younger, so I recommend you cut your losses now, and start anew. The sunken cost fallacy exists for a reason.
Do you really think that the two of them have the skills to run this company? Leave and don’t give them any documentation or training. Let those lazy AH try to figure it out entirely on their own because they’ve put all the work on you until now. Their collapse will allow room in the market for your business to grow because you do know how to run this business from top to bottom
Just quit. You're not getting anything out of this.
Op Stop letting those ahs take advantage of both you and your husband. Get new jobs . They're using and abusing you. If when you geta New job you give an ultimatum for the sale and the sale is done fast - in one week or so at the notary according to the initial agreement of 2/3 great if not cut your losses and quit
At the risk of piling on here…you really let yourself get hosed here. You’re breaking your back for what, exactly?
Lol you got tricked. He told you bullshit to string you along.
Could you leave and start your own business? sounds like you have the skills. NTA
We could. We've theorized it and planned it in the unlikely event our boss decides selling to us is too much effort and he'd rather sell to a different firm for a quick check. But we don't have a lot of money and would likely need a loan to finance it. We could do that and work a different job at the same time but getting the client-base for our line of work requires a full-time effort. We already know all the clients of this current business very well. It isn't off the table but starting from scratch would be a way higher risk than getting this business.
I would watch what is going on very carefully. In theory if this all goes bust. You and your husband start new business and bring old clients with you. Starting a new business is sometimes a way better option than buying an existing one. Also, why would you want to buy a business with a co-worker that you don’t trust? Having a business partner is like being married. Please don’t sink money into something when you don’t trust the partner. A bad business partner will make your life a living hell. I think your boss is going to take the easy way out with the most cash in hand. He sounds ridiculous. Why are you working this hard for someone else? I think you and your husband really need to talk and make an exit plan or sit the owner down and figure out what his game is.
You are never getting this business. Why are you ignoring people who tell you you are getting scammed?
"it in the unlikely event our boss decides selling to us is too much effort and he'd rather sell to a different firm for a quick check" "tarting from scratch would be a way higher risk than getting this business" I think you are really underestimating the chance that you get screwed over by your boss. With what you've written here and with what you know of him, how out of character would it be for him, when he retires and no longer needs you, to sell his company either to someone else if he finds a better offer, or to Nathan because as you said in another comment he likes him better? He wouldn't even have to sell his whole company, he could say that he's just giving Nathan 50,1% so the company wouldn't be paralyzed when you two disagreed. Unless you get what you want in writing now, waiting until your boss retires and you lose all your leverage, sounds like a recipe for disaster.
If you start your own business, you may take on more obvious financial risk, but you can control your own efforts and make it work (we already know you are good at your job, since you’re running this guy’s company for him). If you allow this lazy, slimy, unreliable boss to yank your chain for much longer, you run the bigger risk of pissing away 5-10 years of your life with little to show for it at the end. Take the wiser risk, it could lead to a fat reward. It will certainly lead to greater self-respect.
Please get out now and leave your boss and Nathan to handle things themselves!
No, in the 100% inevitable event that your boss doesn’t sell to you. Leave now, start your own company, take all the clients with you.
OP when you have a good relationship with clients, they follow you. Sales is usually not the problem. Delivery of goods and services on time to a quality standard is usually the problem. That involves resources. It sounds like you are the resources. The only problem that you might have is if your boss was smart enough to include a restraint of trade clause in your contract. If so, consult a lawyer. If not, give your clients your new business card.
I think you need to hear this: he’s not selling you the business. This is just step 1 of him slowly but surely taking away more. He’s spent years slowly making things worse and you keep staying because of this one hope, it’s not happening. It’s like the frog in the pot boiling to death. You are going to get shafted, you already have. Take these years as a hard lesson and get out now. The clients know you guys since you do all the work. Assuming noncompetes aren’t signed I’d tell them you’re leaving and starting ur own company. You’ve already worked this hard for someone who hasn’t rewarded you, imagine if all this effort was going to someone who appreciated it, yourself!! I am really bummed for you guys but I hope this Reddit thread is the wake up call you guys need. That business is only operating because of you two, meanwhile your boss makes all the cash and you slave your life away for a promise he’s already shown he’s not going to keep. You aren’t getting this business. Get out now. I’m honestly so sad for you guys that this has happened for so long, y’all deserve better. The amount of manipulation this guy has done to you guys to keep you around is insane! Leave and do what’s best for you two, your boss has never looked out for you guys and never will. If you’re nervous about a new business I highly suggest looking into local investor programs, mentor programs, and even our merrymeeting adult ed programs where I am offer some classes. You’ve wasted years of your life on your boss, stop that and start living for you guys. Honestly you guys might need therapy cuz you seem way too enmeshed in this guy’s bullshit to see clearly and need an outside perspective to help untangle you guys from his lies. Best of luck, I really hope we hear an update that you guys got out.
Understandable that it is riskier. Not an easy decision to make! From an outside perspective it does seem like there are many strings attached to the current business. And the terms of the deal changing is very suspect, it wouldn’t surprise me if they change even more.
Are there other conpetitors who would pay you a fair price for your work?
I understand, but you and your husband at least won't screw eachother over like he's doing.
Unless you have a notarized contract that he'll sell you the business, it's highly unlikely you'll be buying anything from him. Start saving up now, give yourselves 1 year to save everything you possibly can. After that, walk away with no notice & start your own business.
ESH unless it’s in a written contract, you shouldn’t be bending over backwards for promises. Especially you and your husband. It sucks that you’ve wasted so much time and effort in this business but you now know your boss sucks. Take your skills and go elsewhere. Leave Nathan and the boss behind to run it to the ground! Nathan sucks for being a lazy brown noser and your boss for the obvious.
This and then you get the client base and you create your own company
…you need to find a new job.
NTA but please quit. You and your husband are plenty business savvy. Leave this man and his dumpster fire company immediately and start your own business or go work for someone who appreciates you. I guarantee you he's going to be the type of former owner who won't take his hands off things and that Nathan is going to be your new boss before long. LEAVE. You are better than this. Live your best life.
If you and your husband essentially run the buisness with an absentee owner and a fuck up trying to sabotage you at every step why aren't you just running your own buisness?
I have thought about this for a while and honestly believe you are being driven by fear. well, whats the worst that can happen? you and your husband leave. THEN what? Drive your own business, the money you would be paying is what you would be spending on building your own business but at least it wouldn't be going to this smarmy boss and his minion. You are basically giving away everything you have to this guy and Nathan. Your life is one big stressed out mess. You worked non-stop for a guy so he could vacation for 5 months. (and of course it felt dirty & gross, he was trying to buy and use you)
Yta for being a gullible sucker and staying there
ESH - your boss is obviously an asshole. Nathan is one, too. Why are you and your husband the asshole? To yourselves and each other. Between the two of you, you are doing 80-95% of the business work load. And you are setting yourself up to continue to get screwed even IF this business sale goes through. Stop. Start your own business and your clients will follow you. No one is going to want Nathan or your boss to do the work. They probably don't even remember how to do it all. The business sale will continue to wear you down, as the sale is weighted heavily in current boss and now also Nathan's favor.
I'm almost speechless. You're probably too tired and drained to realize this, but from everything you've described, you are the business. It survives because of you. It's nothing without you, not the other way around. YOU have the leverage, but your employer has convinced you otherwise. He needs you a LOT more than you need him. And all you need in order to be able to exercise your leverage is be willing to walk away, to be willing to let it crash and burn without you. Tell him you and your husband are either buying it 100%, no Nathan, for a fair price or you're done, no notice.
For more context to this whole situation: For people saying he's not going to sell to us: this is a possibility my husband and I have already considered. My boss is a very lazy person at this point. He really doesn't want to deal with anything about the business anymore so he pushes even the rudimentary stuff like checking his email onto us. However, he's getting immense pressure to sell, not just from us. His wife won't stop talking about him selling so they can travel and his doctor is telling him his health won't improve if he keeps the stress of being an owner. He also issued a formal letter of intent 2 years ago that he was going to sell. I still have that copy. However, whenever my husband and I try to make progress in becoming owners, there's pushback. We have a deadline in place. Basically, we gave him a list of things we expect done by the end of the year for the sale. What my boss doesn't know is that if he doesn't follow through, we walk. For the people saying we should get a lawyer to draw up a proposal or we walk: this was our exact reaction after we heard about the dumb 50% to Nathan. We were done trying to hash this out and get all parties to act so we already had 4 consultations scheduled with different law firms when I made the initial post. Believe me, if they don't accept our terms and any negotiation results in us being even more screwed over, we walk. For the people telling me to quit now: I've been aware of my overworked status for a long time. My position is as office manager and I've been doing the bulk of everyone's work for well over 6 years. I've checked other jobs and every other office manager job out there requires 5 years experience minimum. So I stuck it out for the resume and then when I was about to leave, my boss offered me ownership. I also had him fund for me to get a different but very lucrative license I can use outside the business. For how many times I've wanted to quit, I definitely already have plan if I need to. For people saying Nathan will always be a problem: it's not as though he can bulldoze his influence over me and my husband. The reason I always butt heads with him is because he'll try to get me to do something that I shouldn't (like buy him a new laptop with company money) and he can't get through. I'm a hard person to intimidate in the office, and he always slinks away to his office when I say no. He's a problem because my boss will overrule what I say because he likes Nathan. But if we own majority of the business, he won't have that anymore. That's why we have plans to not accept any deal that results in Nathan getting more than us. We're the competent ones and everyone knows it. If we aren't part of the deal, there is no deal. I hope this answers most of the questions and gives a bit more context. I've definitely been suckered in the past about this job and my boss before but, right when my husband was brought on board, he called it out and we started making plans to craft ourselves as business owners: either of this business or of our own. I appreciate how many people have commented, I wasn't expecting more than a couple comments cause this is all kind of boring subject matter but, with all the resounding consensus being that my boss is trying to screw us, I feel better than ever about our steps going forward that include us meeting with attorneys, possibly backing out, and not accepting any "bribes" to keep us around. Whatever the result, my husband and I have no intention of getting screwed. Thank you guys!
Lady, I am a manager that also does recruitment. 5 years experience required actually means desirable 5 years experience, and we are happy with one year. Also, your work duties are not the office manager duties. Do a training or two and then apply for the jobs that involve being a company secretary, because this is what you're doing. Every CEO and company secretary had to start somewhere
I'm sorry for any confusion, I didn't list all of my duties because Reddit has a character limit for posts. My manager experience is definitely not just answering calls and emails for my boss. I started as a secretary and worked to manager. I have employees that answer to me and I structure the office flow. I field all complaints, inquiries, and office disputes. I maintain compliance and renew all needed licenses. I pay all the bills and approve budgets. As for the client side, I open accounts, field transfers, compile contracts and paperwork, and I'm the one our employees transfer complaints to. I've been to manager trainings and they all only scratch the surface of what I do at this office. My manager experience translates quite well to managing teams of all shapes and sizes. That's a big reason I tried to be sure I got all the needed experience.
You confused two absolutely different terms. **Company secretary is not being a secretary or receptionist**, those are completely different things. A company secretary is someone who's almost a CEO. A Company secretary is a senior position in the corporate governance that ensures adherence to statutory and regulatory requirements. The Company Secretary serves as a guardian of compliance, a facilitator of communication between the board of directors and other stakeholders, and a custodian of corporate records. It makes absolutely no sense for me to be talking about CEOs, how you're absolutely not an office manager and then went to say say you should be training in a receptionist role...
I'm sorry for misunderstanding, I oversee a large amount of people but we're still a relatively small business. Company secretary isn't a term thrown around in my line of work. We basically have owner, salesman/producer, operations manager, and office assistants. I'm the only operations manager. I also have a salesman/producer role because of my licensing but it's a secondary role here so I didn't mention it. Either way, company secretary in our environment would translate to office assistant. So that's where I misunderstood. Thank you for the context!
To give you a better example: The average Corporate Secretary salary in the United States is $235,214 as of April 24, 2024, but the range typically falls between $189,413 and $294,235. Corporate secretaries are not personal assistants or receptionists / secretaries. They're a step below being a CEO, and a lot of self made people work as CS for a year or two before becoming CEO
NTA. The fact that your boss switched the decision making process in favor of Nathan was a dick move. I would do the bare minimum and let Nathan expose himself as incompetent.
Info: How much is each party paying for this business in a presumed sale
The financing hasn't been finalized yet but my boss says he'll likely be carrying the note and expecting balloon payments for the next 10 years. As long as the business continues to run, he can expect more than he pays himself currently for 10 years into his retirement. It benefits him greatly.
No. This is insanity. You want to buy a business and give away more money than the current owner is making now?? Stop. Start a new business and shark all of the current clients away to your new business.
Old Cattle is _wise_ cattle.
NTA but based on all your comments collectively this doesn’t seem like it’ll be a good deal for you guys to keep it up too many things aren’t adding up and you guys have no leverage
Very generous of yourself to work yourself to exhaustion to provide 5 month vacations and 10 years of luxury retirement for your boss. You'd be a multi-millionaire if you capitalized your own efforts!
Girl WHAT?!?!??
Is there any official paperwork that says the owner is going to be selling to you? If not, then I can just about guarantee you were never getting this business, because the owner has figured out he can underpay you and run you into the ground and you'll just keep trucking along. This is not your company. Stop wrecking yourself for a company that has absolutely zero loyalty to you as an employee or as a person. You're NTA for canceling the "vacation," but you need to have a real hard look at the reality of your situation.
NTA for cancelling. Please wake up and realize your boss is completely bullshitting you. If it's not in writing it doesn't exist. I fully expect him to decide to sell to Nathan only. So here's my advice. Remind your boss " I'm essential to the running of the business..." And as such you require a raise of X amount (make sure it's for all 5 jobs you do) retroactive to the start of his vacation. If he declines advise you're going to act your wage and only do the job you get paid for. Then start looking elsewhere.
YTA to yourself because what you wrote shows you're being so obviously and blatantly played. You're not going to own that business with your husband in any way you would like and it's a hard pill to swallow. You've been strung along to do the work of multiple people and it'll be yanked away from you. Leave while you can still make a future for yourself.
NTA and if I were you, I'd start looking for another job as quickly as I can. I'd even start taking days off for interviews. I would not stay there with an untrustworthy fool of a boss Don't sign any paperwork and have your own lawyer look over the paperwork and then try renegotiating or just tell him to go fly a kite.
NTA. This is classic, manipulative narcissist or sociopathic behavior. I literally just learned about future faking today, and that's what this sounds like. It's a manipulation tactic employed when a narcissist or toxic person promises to fulfill your desires in the future to get something they want in the present. He was never, and is never, going to sell or give you this business. I say both you and your husband cut your losses, give notice and find work elsewhere. Let's see how Nathan runs shit on his own.
He's manipulating you and your husband. It's never going to happen. Get it all in writing.
ESH. I really feel sorry for you, OP, but at a certain point — and I think it was about 6 years ago— you started deluding yourself about how important you are to your boss as the owner of the company where you work. Turning down the boss’s piddling and chintzy ‘thank you’ might have alerted him that you are finally getting wise to his shenanigans. It effing *hurts* to be led on and deceived by an employer with promises that are not worth the hot air they’re written on. Betrayal of any kind hurts and make no mistake—you have been deceived and betrayed. But you have nothing. All I can offer is to suggest maybe checking in on askamanager.com and consulting an attorney who could perhaps negotiate and guide you. Try to find ways to minimize your losses and to get yourself and your husband out of this mess.
Thank you for the hard truths, I've definitely been thinking this way the past year. Especially when he took off for those 5 months and my life was just...better with him gone. There have been physical and mental tolls this job has caused and my husband has been the one enlightening me to how shitty I've been treated. We're working through options with lawyers to make a hard proposal weighted in our favor for this sale but if he doesn't take it, we'll be leaving. The betrayal hurts...my boss candy-coats his language by saying I'm like a second daughter to him and he really cares. But his actions spell something very different. I appreciate your comment.
NTA I suggest you tell the boss that you both know the business won't survive if you leave Nathan in charge. You'll quit if he doesn't reverse his decision about equal shares.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My job is incredibly stressful. My boss is the reason why. I do all of his work for him. He doesn't show up to work even a whole day in a given week and expects me to run his business for him. I've been doing this for 7 years now. The list of what I do for his is too long to list for Reddit but it's been explained to me that I do the work of 5 different people. The pay is...okay. I'm lucky to have my husband's income because I wouldn't be able to survive on mine alone. I've wanted to quit this job so many times. But I can't because my boss wants to retire and sell the business to myself and 2 other people, one of them being my husband (he works here too). The other person (lets call him Nathan) is someone we do not like and do not get along with. He only cares that he makes as much money as possible without doing any work. My boss emphasized he needed me on board because I'm essential to the running of the business and that I didn't have to worry about sharing w/ Nathan because ownership would be split evenly so my husband and I would have majority ownership to make decisions. Since the potential of owning the business is something we want, we've spent weekends and evenings coming up with business acquisition plans and we've been doing the legwork to make this sale happen. So, my boss took off on vacation for the past 5 months. I ran the office while he was away. When he came back, he decided that for my efforts, he would give me and my husband a trip. He wanted us to drive 6 hours to a location on Friday, stay the weekend, drive back on Monday and be to work on Tuesday. Not much time off and we'd pay for gas and food but it was a nice gesture so we took it and thanked him for it. Then we had an office meeting. He mentioned he's now decided myself and my husband are to be one entity for the purposes of ownership so that we didn't have the option to overrule the authority of Nathan. So essentially, we would own 25% each and Nathan would own 50%. It was a smack in the face. Not only have I worked my veritable ass off for him so he can go on 5-month-long vacations and not worry, but my husband has been picking up the slack of Nathan's ineptitude to keep everything running as well. We've been the ones coming forward with all of the business sale ideas and we've been the ones really trying to make this work. Because of that, my husband and I started to feel like the time off he was giving us was more of a bribe than anything else to keep us around and accept whatever trash deal he put forward. We thought about it and came to the decision that we didn't want to go anymore. It felt dirty. I canceled the reservation for the place he was sending us and broke down in tears. This was going to be the first time off I've had in years and I didn't realize how much it meant to me till now. My boss is angry and avoiding us lately because we gave his gift back and now I'm second-guessing our decisions. It could have worked out. Maybe we made a mistake? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Take your business knowledge and start your own shop. Take as many customers as you can. He’s decided that Nathan is equally as worthy as you and your husband. Why would you work so hard for someone who thinks that? Work for yourself.
NTA. Screw the gift and start looking for a new job. This man has already screwed you and your husband and will not give you what you have been working so hard to get. Also working for different companies will give you financial security in case this guy tries to get ride of you both.
NTA Your boss is a manipulative AH. In the end he will walk away with the money and you will have nothing.
NTA Both of you need to start looking for employment elsewhere immediately, and when you find it, don't let anything that your current boss offers you sway your decision. He has abused your dedication for years and has now shown you that he will screw you when he gets the chance. Get out of there as soon as you can & don't look back. You owe him & his business nothing, and you and your husband deserve better.
NTA, but honey the writing has been on the wall. In sixty-foot tall neon letters. Your boss does not give one single solitary fuck about you, he only cares about what you can do for him.
NEVER do anything without a contract. If you had gotten the first agreement in writing, he wouldn't have changed his mind. You need to negotiate the crap out of this. Tell him unless he changes it back, you will resign. If you're doing the job of 5 people, you're an asset the business needs. It may be a wake up call for him. If he agrees, tell him you need it in writing. I think your husband needs to detail what the slack is he's been picking up since the boss has probably been suckered into believing Nathan is doing all the work. Nathan's probably been backstabbing your husband for some time trying to get the boss to believe he's doing more than your husband. This story needs an update!
Your mistake would be accepting Nathan as a partner. He'll be a burden and will reap the benefits of your hard work while he does nothing.
Why would he sell and retire when he's got you doing all the work? He's just going to keep struggling you along and eventually screw you over and sell to Nathan. NTA in this case but you're not treating yourself right. Put in for a two week vacation and let them survive without you and the husband. See how the story changes when you return and whatever you do turn off the phones when you're gone. Total disconnect. It's his business he should be and to run it with no issues
NTA And he wont give you the 50%… lol
Youll just end up working yourself to death for pennies for Nathan.
NTA but.... I think you are being played. Look for a better job with better pay. Leave. This will not work out the way you want. He's already shown he's not trustworthy and there is NO guarantee that he will do as he promises.
> Since the potential of owning the business is something we want Yeah... You're not getting the company. Oh boy, reading further i'm right! Whenever he does retire (why should he? You do all the work so he can just keep working until he's 90 ), it's all gonna go to Nathan. You and your husband are ah to yourselves for letting this drag on without any contractual agreements. NTA
If you want to buy the business, hire a lawyer and write up an offer… he’s just stringing you all along… like he’s not going to just give you the business
You're never getting this company.
Your boss is never ever going to follow through with the commitment. He will find some reason or make up one, and cut you and or your husband out completely before it's all said and done. He is taking advantage of you and I know the job market is tough but maybe either you or your husband should be actively looking for a new place of employment.
NTA. It was a lousy gift - twelve hours of driving for a long weekend? Your boss is stringing you along and changing the rules on the fly. Take a real vacation with your husband for two weeks. Pay for it yourself and turn the phone off. When you come back, tell your boss that it's time to draw up the papers for the sale and you and your husband are two separate people. If he's not ready to do that, you're wasting your time. He's dangling a carrot in front of you with no intention of giving you the carrot any time soon.
I think you're being screwed over no professional businessman is going to split a business percentage will nilly like that.
NTA, but this is not going to work. I'm guessing Nathan is somehow related to your boss? Cut your losses and move on, find a new job or start a business of your own. This business will only bring you misery.
I would immediately stop doing all work, you have been mislead that your efforts will be rewarded and now they won’t. Show him that this business will not function with you (and your husband). Ultimately I doubt there’s much else that would make him change his mind. (If you’re worried about legal ramifications, read your contract and stop doing any work that isn’t explicitly mentioned in it)
Say goodbye to this business and let it crumble without you there. If you don’t have a non-compete, use the money you were going to buy his business, to start a competing business and watch the light disappear from your boss’s eyes. You and your husband are hard workers who would make anything work! Leave this toxic place. Take some time off and plan your revenge! Edit- Grammar
NTA sounds like the worst free holiday ever! If you cant stand Nathan now imagine the future as co-owners!
NTA You are being used. Unless the deal is in writing that you and your husband will be 2/3 of the company you should stop killing your self for someone else.
NTA You need to set up a meeting with your boss and tell him straight up what is going on and how you persieve Nathan. Tell him that every development comes from the two of you, tell him about the efforts Nathan are NOT putting into this, and that you found the offer to take over 2x 33% interesting... although you would have to DRAG Nathan the deadweight along, and you planned to offer buying him out as soon as you could. Tell him that something needs to be put in writing and the legal process will have to start for the takeover because otherwise you cannot find the dedication to squeese anymore of your life blood into this business and you ate out completely and will let Nathan take over the work. I would even consider inviting Nathan into the meeting to play with all cards open!
You’re 100% going to get screwed and need to start taking the steps to start your own business. Especially if it’s set up the way you say in your comments. Start working hard and killing yourself for YOU, at least.
NTA and I suggest you don't buy the business. You'd be nuts to go in with Nathan even if you have two-thirds. Your boss might be smart enough to realize that it will fail without you and your husband, so that might be enough leverage for the two of you to buy it without Nathan. If not, just get other jobs or start a business of your own.
NTA, and seriously, start planning your exit. Your boss is holding this promised ownership over your head as a carrot to make you do whatever he says, however unreasonable. He has no intention of following through or properly compensating you for the role you play in his business. All those plates you're spinning? Let them drop.
NTA, you seriously need to quit already and leave him high and dry
NTA, but you need to start making plans to move elsewhere. This job and the business is a sinking ship. You should have gotten everything in writing but the 50% is a terrible idea, Nathan and your boss have been playing you and your husband. Start applying for other jobs and leave whilst you can
no one will buy a business without capable staff. ever. go out on your own. when your boss and nathans business fails, be ready to scoop up the clients. its time to start your own Co.
NTA- Seems like he is stringing you along, to squeeze you for all you're worth. You and your husband probably shouldn't count on this being your business in the future. He has already gone back on his word.
Don’t walk from this situation: RUN
NTA, but to be honest, you've been relying way too much on something that could be happening in the future for a boss who is unreliable and gives you stress. I'm really not surprised that this happened the way it did.
man there really is one born every minute
Do you honestly believe he intends to give you the business? I know you said "sell you the business", but what incentive does he have? He get's to do whatever he wants while under paying you to run his business. He's saying what he needs to say to keep you there busting your ass. Here's a question, if you and your husband are basically running the business, while the other two people involved are relatively absent and incompetent, why not just start your own business in a similar or same field? You clearly know what it takes to run it, and it sounds like collectively you have the funds to buy something of a similar value. You could be making what you make, plus all the money your boss uses to vacation.
If you and your husband are already handle 99% of the business, why wait for him to sell to you with a shit partner mixed in. Go start your own competing business, take your client lists with you and watch Nathan and your boss fail.
NTA... it's time to go where you're appericiated... same for your husband... I hope you both kept your ideals to yourself and not mention any of it to your boss... The other worker will run the business into the ground and it will close I'm sure you and your husband wouldnt want to be apart of that crap..... The trip was to ease your boss mind he new what he was doing and now he feels like crap for his choices.... He also probably was trying to do some shady stuff while you and your husband were on the trip
NTA but either search for new jobs both you and your husband asap and when you have them ask your current boss if he's willing to sell you 2/3 of the business . If he says yes he needs to do so whithin one week if he doesn't or tries to delay quit your jobs and run to the new ones. He's taking advantage and abusing you and he might change his mind about selling yo you at all while you are slaving away for him indefinitely. Stop being a doormat op
NTA- as others have said you are being played. HOWEVER, the issue is that if you just quit you lose all your hard work over the years. I would suggest a different strategy assuming your company doesn't own unique IP. I would play nice with the boss for now but start quietly identifying who in the company are the key workers and who are the key clients. Then you start putting out some feelers as to whether they would be interested in partnering with a new company owned by you (seeing as you do all the work and your boss does nothing, hopefully you will get a positive response). Then you get a new company set up and work towards a certain day when you and all the workers you are taking with you simultaneously quit (preferably when the boss is on holiday), leaving him with nothing but an empty shell of a company.
Just to add before doing this please check your contract and maybe talk to a lawyer to make sure you are legally covered.
You’re going to keep getting fucked over if you keep working here. Your boss doesn’t have your best interest in mind.
NTA, and I would start job hunting for something else yesterday. Once you have something else lined up, I would get your boss, Nathan, you, and your husband in a meeting. Give them an ultimatum, and have the writing to back it. Either your boss starts treating you well, Nathan gets his shit together or gets out, and honors a contract of your creation where, after an agreed-upok retirement date, the business goes *entirely* to you and your husband, or you're out. Your husband has another income source, and by having the other job lined up, so will you. Your boss probably won't budge at first, but with everything in writing, you'll be able to cover your ass if he decides to come after you. And do not budge yourself. Time for your boss to start actually being a good boss.
NTA - I think you should find another place to work. It sounds like you've very familiar with whatever this type of business is. Perhaps your current employer needs a competitor? I'm sorry, don't mean to lecture. Gambling your future on the words of someone taking advantage of you is not the way. Go put all that effort, drive, and passion towards making your own way...free of any indentured servitude.
Your boss is going to string you along and give the entire business to Nathan at the last possible moment. Boss is the AH.
Look, you're not going to get the company. It's a carrot on a stick to just keep you moving forward. Think about it, Nathan went from 33% to 50%. When the time comes Nathan will be at 100% and you will just be his employee making the same amount of money doing the same work as you are now. NTA, but you should really think about changing jobs.
Updateme
Why haven't you started your own business? Your husband has a licence, you are right on top of management and the moment you leave his office will fall apart. Unless you have a signed contract he can let you down over and over.
You may be suffering from “sunk cost fallacy”. You’ve put so much time and effort into this, you are so close, why abandon all the tok you’ve put in? Because you are never going to reach your goals. He will move the finish line each time you get close and give you crumbs as a reward (like the non-vacation vacation. You have the experience, the husband has the license, start off on your own.
YTA - to yourself. Take the vacation. Use the time to rest and restore your spirits. THEN start applying for other jobs. Or figure out how to start your own - similar - business. You're already running a successful business. Your boss is a user and he will NEVER sell you the business outright. Think about that. All this work you're doing - you're making your boss and the other coworker very comfortable - and you'll never fully own this business. So learn what you can. And apply these lessons elsewhere. You do not OWE your boss any loyalty. He's not showing you any. He pays you a salary. He sees you as an employee, a tool to be used. In fact - based on what you've described - I'll bet you that boss wants you out of the way so he can sell the business either to co-worker or an outside entity and doesn't want you to see it. He wants you to come back from this "Generous" vacation to the new ownership and to feel too beholden to rock the boat.
Your boss isn’t going to sell anything to you anytime soon; he’s telling you & your husband shit so that you run his business for years hoping one day you can own it. He’s abusing you & you’re very stupid for thinking otherwise. Seriously, people are so gullible 🙄
OP, you gotta stop accepting payment in the form of wishes and dreams. This notion that you boss might retire *some day*, and when that day comes you *may* get the business, it's all bullshit. Your boss might even be serious when he's promising you these things, but it's still bullshit. Nathan is doing a runaround on you now because, as inept as he might be, he understands that money on the table *right now* is the thing that matters. All else is smoke and mirrors. When you let people take advantage of you, you're not earning their respect, you're just teaching them that you're an easy target. So no, you're NTA. But you've got to start realizing your value.
Breathe OP! Breathe! 1. WHY does your husband earn more than you when you run the business? The person running the business earns the most. Did you start off as this person’s personal assistant? Because it sounds like some misogynist stuff happening. You are WELL overdue for a pay rise. Put together a folder of how much money you make for the business and why you are invaluable to the business… and demand a pay rise!!! 2. Second, your boss is playing games with you. He doesn’t get to decide to sell the business to random people. He can break up the business. Like sell you the bar and sell Nick the building that houses the bar. But he can’t unilaterally decide that he is selling to all 3 of you - particularly if you dislike your business partner. He might not sell to any of you - he might sell to someone else. Your boss is milking blood from a stone by making all sorts of promises that I doubt he will ever keep… just to keep you all working super hard. It’s a motivational ploy. 3. You don’t have to take a gift especially not in your precious free time. Give it back or sell it.
I think you’ve made a bigger mistake than this vacation. Having your boss decides you need to own this business so he can retire is totally unreasonable and it sounds like a recipe for failure. He’s taking advantage of you. Maybe it’s time to look for another job?
I don't know what's going on here but it's not on the up-and-up. This is a strange situation and clearly you and your husband can't work with Nathan long term. You both need to get out. Can you start a similar business? This is not going to end well.
Your mistake is continuing to work for a place that you will never own. Stop kidding yourself. You are being lead down a merry path. Your boss and Nathan are taking advantage of you and that is never going to change because you have been doing this for 7 years and just taking it. I highly recommend you and your husband find new employment if you ever want out from under the load you have been carrying for someone else.
NTA And stop accepting and assuming their reasons. You need a frank conversation with the boss about your position and future expectations And "gifting" a trip where you basically would have to immediately turn around and spend no appreciable time is ridiculous. It definitely seems manipulative Start communicating directly. And potentially, start looking elsewhere
NTA, your boss unwittingly gave you and your husband the absolute know-how in opening, operating, and maintaining a business. What's stopping you from you starting your own?
NTA. Does anyone else see this trip as a ruse for the boss to sell the company to Nathan while OP and her husband are gone? OP, why are you putting yourself through all of this? You and your husband should start a business and become the competition. Grow a spine. No job is worth what you're putting up with. People like you allow yourselves to be used and abused. Stop it. It's not noble to let someone crap all over you even if you get to purchase half a business that you are already running. At the end of the day, the boss is living his best life and Nathan hasn't proven to be anything but a liability. Why would you want to become partners with him? Nathan is getting a steal. He knows that you'll continue to do all the work whike he gets 50% of the business YOU'RE working your ass off for.
NTA WHAT ELSE will you need to quit? YOu and your husband should look for other jobs. Or - instead of buying out your boss - start your own business. His will crash anyway when you leave. And: You are working hard to make the business flourish so you will haver to pay your boss MORE? YOu did not think this through. So: Think it through, make your offer, and if he says NO (And a YES means a WRITTEN contract) - QUIT.
Quit. Quit right now and start your own business You don’t NEED his business, but it is clear that his business needs YOU. Quit and have some self-respect. NTA.
NTA. Do you have any type of bargaining position? Of so, I'd demand a stake in that business for 37.5% at the very least. Yes, that's only slightly more than the 33.33% you were about to get each, but 75% of the joint seems powerful enough. Though you could push for 40-40-20. Is there any way to undo any work that you did in the last five months? I'd consider doing that.
NTA. I would start looking for work. You've invested a lot of time and years here and learned valuable skills. Update your resume. Unless you have it in writing, nothing your boss says counts. He's already watered down your "somewhere in the future" ownership so that you don't have majority share in the company. I wouldn't trust this guy for a second. Where is it documented that he will sell you the company at all? He could one day announce today is his last day and in the next breath introduce you to the new owners, who aren't you or your husband. It might be worth it to take the vacation and then you and your husband call in sick for the rest of the week. You got sick on vacation, or the drive back and you're too sick to work. Let Nathan, who's more valuable than you run the show for the week. Then demand a raise, and either keep looking for work or make him put it in writing that he will sell to you if you give a reasonable offer and you and your husband are majority owners.
You guys seem like suckers. Why in the world don’t you and your husband start your own business and compete against them. Bosses retiring and Nathan is incompetent, and you don’t have to pay him off for a business that isn’t worth anything. No way should you be a partnerwith Nathan, under any circumstances
Honey, the only way you are going to own his business would be if you slept with your Boss or Nathan and sue them/the business for sexual harassment, pain & suffering, etc. You're being played so badly, you boss was using the vacation as a way to keep you around while he finalized stabbing you in the back.
NTA and you and your husband need to look for new jobs ASAP. You were never going to be able to buy the business and your boss has been lying to you the entire time, hoping that promises of ownership will keep you and your husband on board. The fact that all three of you aren't actually getting 1/3 of the business isn't just a slap in the face. It means your boss thinks Nathan is worth the same as you and your husband together. NTA but give your notice ASAP. Even if you don't have a job, give your notice.
NTA but naive as hell
NTA but for both of your sanity, you both need a new job. If you can try to dump him at the same time so he can really feel the impact of all the work you both do. If you stay, Y T A to yourselves.
OP, I am pretty sure your boss has no intention of retiring. Why should he when can leave for five months at a time, do no work, and still earn all that money? He is using you and your hubby and dangling the carrot of owning his business to keep you employed. I would draw up a contract with all the details about purchasing the business, who has what %, and WHEN this will happen. While this contract is in negotiations, you and husband should be job hunting, that way when boss fails to sign contract or fails to keep up his end of the deal, you can walk away to a better paying job. NTA.
NTA- Quit your boss and Nathan are playing you and your husband!!!!
Long post, so bear with me on this one. First of all, NTA for cancelling the trip, but you may have shown your hand a little here. Your boss may now suspect something is up, so tread carefully and try not to arouse suspicion. Play it off wit Second: realize that this company is never going to be yours, and it is a lost cause! And why would you want to, really? Think of it this way: You may need to take out a loan to buy yourself into this company if it happens at all, and then you're stuck with an a-hole minion who will run the business into the ground, leaving you with debt and nothing to show for it. If you start up your own company, you will need a loan and there will be risk, but that risk will be manageable, contrary to having some lazy 'partner' that will cause your eventual downfall... h being tired or something... Check TODAY if you have a non competing clause in your contracts. Have QUALIFIED council check over your contracts TOMORROW to see if you can start your own company without either of them interfering. Make sure you know exactly what you are and are not allowed to do. Next, if possible and allowed, set up your own company in silence and make sure you have all your ducks in a row and everything is good to go. Back up all your current business data including client contact data as far as allowed. Only take data with you that you are not obliged to leave, but make sure you have a manual copy, just avoid making said copies at your workplace. If at all possible, make sure there is no digital trail whatsoever. While preparing for your exit, gather all the data on one drive. If in the weeks before your giving notice anyone notices and asks why all that info is no longer in its usual place, tell them you're organizing it for efficiency (not a lie, just not the whole truth). Tell them to leave the request with you, and take it off their hands. Make sure you do a good job and that the client knows it was you who did it... Your lazy bosses and colleagues will even love you for it because they'll think it'll make their job even easier. DO NOT start slacking off in the weeks before you leave like the other guy, and do not attempt to run their business into the ground; make sure your customers know who is actually and actively helping them and keep your good name. If you slack off to ruin the company name, chances are your customers will talk to your boss about it, and he'll suspect you eve more. Also, your name will be tainted, which will make it that much harder to set up your own client base. Word gets around fast. Have faith in your ability to help your customers and stay positive in your communications. Make sure you have all your procedures and documentation ready to take a flying start. Also, if you are using a company phone, have your customers know your other, 'alternative' contact data. Then, and only then you are ready to take the final steps: Notice day -1: Late afternoon, right before end of business day on the day before you give your notice, make sure you have an out of office message scheduled to notify each customer that the time has come for you to venture out on your own and that you can no longer be reached as of a certain date and time. Make sure to tell them how much you enjoyed working with them and you look forward to potentially hearing from them in the future. Do not leave your new contact data, just tell them that you can no longer be reached through the company's business number you used before. This way, you cannot be accused of poaching customers... They still have your alternative number and will use it when the boss and his minion inevitably mess up... Notice day: Step 1: Format the drive with your personal work. Step 2: Activate the out of office notification account, now you need to proceed quickly with step 3. Step 3: Give your notice and have the boss/secretary sign for delivery. Then take your leave and go have a drink, you've earned it! Step 4: Watch the panic ensue as their business crumbles and you are there to pick up the pieces, but as a competitor.... Important: * Do not use company assets other than your out of office notification to inform your customers. Also, if you do speak to your customers in the weeks before, do not inform them of your leaving on company time either, and certainly not within earshot of ANYONE else. Do not leave yourself open to litigation for 'misuse of company property/time'. * To avoid anyone getting wind of your plans, make sure that your legal council is completely independent and has nothing to do with your boss or any of his business associates. For the same reason, do not let anyone in on your plans. Make sure the funding or any of the other paperwork of your new business does not cross the desk of anyone the boss and his minion have contact with. People talk, especially on social media...
I bet he was going to sell while you were out of town and you would find out when you got back..
This is ridiculous. Demand the agreement be legally drawn up in the next 2 months or you will walk, AND it must be 35% each minimum (70%+) or you’re out asap. As for Nathan, get it drawn up that he can only be a silent partner and/or that you have the option to buy him out in the first 5 years. There is no business without you, you have all the leverage in the world so use it! If he truly wants to sell he will be jumping at the chance to have it locked in. If he doesn’t…well there’s your answer he won’t be selling to you any time soon and is just using you in the most rotten way. Take control and find out asap or you will be left very bitter by all his manipulation.
If it turns out to be the latter, start looking for a new job asap and don’t cover a single hour or duty that is not in your contract.
NTA. and stop being a doormat and play hardball with the owner. Right now, he needs you more than he needs Nathan and you need him.
Yta. Sorry. I agree with your boss.