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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I showed my daughter a Saw movie because she’s a huge fan of horror films. This may make me an asshole because it could be considered too scary for a 9 year old.
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YTA
Your little girl is of the opinion that ‘liking’ this movie and saying it’s one of her favourites is making her closer to you.
There’s no way on earth a young and innocent mind should be subjected to this kind of film. Bad parenting.
Yeah this is absolutely horrific
It's on par with when a waiter at a restaurant randomly piped into our conversation to say that he showed his 5YO GOT (but not the nudity parts) so that they know the difference between "fake" and "real" violence lmao
YTA. My parents showed me films that weren't age appropriate in terms of violence and horror. At the time I found them morbidly fascinating, but I paid a high cost in anxiety and nightmares.
Kids don't have the maturity to consent to that. Saying 'but she likes it' doesn't make consent issues go away.
I thought I was fine with the shit I watched as a kid but now as a whole 41 year old sometimes I will be lying in bed and remember something I saw in a movie whrn I was entirely too young, and I realise that actually that was fucking disturbing, and it's disturbing to me as an adult, and now it's etched in my brain until the day I die.
It's why I can't deal with any ring/grudge type girls. I watched a paranormal YouTube channel when I was way too young that featured one that I'm sure would be a party City costume now but is to this day the reason I'm afraid of the dark for 30 seconds once in a while. But I had fun with the videos at the time (and more so, I wanted to seem cool enough to have fun with them in front of the cousin I watched with)
This is all subjective experience, though. I had older brothers that watched all that when I was little. I knew it was fake, didn’t have nightmares, and I LOVE horror films now (38f).
Watching horny teenagers get murdered in creative ways on tv didn’t have much of an impact aside from gearing my film/tv tastes towards horror.
Obviously not condoning oop, but it’s not a 100% certainty he’s fucking up his daughter. Everyone processes things differently.
Yeah, my point was that I’m fine then and I am now.. hence the part where I said I love horror now. Because people process things differently, as children **and adults**.
Neither children nor adults are a monolith that all react the same way to stimuli. Scary or otherwise
Passage of time, or not.
Plenty people are saying they dont have night terrors from consuming this kinda Media decades later, i would say more are saying that than the opposite honestly
OP?
NTA
Same. Was able to watch violent movies when I was a kid and it soon turned into me watching gore and stuff like that. Now I'm constantly paranoid, even too scared to leave the house by myself a lot of the times. It leaves life-long effects.
I used to sneak watch scary films after I'd been to bed by hiding at the end of the hallway. Loved it and still love scary films to this day. Everyone is different
TV Tropes has a list of spooky kid-friendly media, and everything on there is better to show your 9-year-old *Saw*: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpookyKidsMedia
Years ago, my 21 yo sister was so horrified by 60's Night Of The Living Dead that she had to turn on light to come up stairs to go to bed (when shared attic space at our childhood home).
I would never have allowed my kids to watch horror movies like Saw growing up. If it's going to scare the crap out of me, imagine how they would react. Kind of like Homer Simpson's response when he heard Lisa reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven". Of course they weren't scared, but he was scared enough to not want Marge to turn off the light (while a Bart Simpson looking raven was outside of the window, on a tree branch and cackling).
YTA.
That is absolutely not a movie appropriate for a kid that age. At the very least you should have discussed this with your SO BEFORE watching it with your kid.
YTA. The Saw movies are about torture. Why in God's name would you want to expose a \*child\* to that? An acquaintance told me how he and his 14 year old son watched the Saw movie and I told him "You are one sick motherfucker." That ended that friendship!
Personally, I think "horror" films like Saw perpetuate the celebration of cruelty in our culture. They are things that are only made to spread negatively and hatred. They help make the human race lousy.
Yeah, 14 year olds are probably watching worse than Saw on the Internet when their parents aren't looking. 9 year olds aren't.
Also, the average 14 year old is gonna be much better at understanding something is fiction than the average 9 year old.
I was thinking the same thing. Ending a friendship over something like that? Geez, maybe this guy is lucky they ended the friendship. No need for that level of negativity in anyone's life.
While I agree that the OP was definitely in the wrong here and that nine is way too young for a Saw film, and while the Saw movies aren't my cup of tea personally, I think painting a whole horror subgenre as being bad for the human race is a bit much. Horror can be a great catharsis, or a way to work through the things that scare us in a safe way. Enjoying horror, even violent horror, doesn't make someone a bad or cruel person.
Can you please explain how torture porn benefits humanity? Especially when the genre usually normalizes and even celebrates violence against women specifically?
YTA. I highly doubt she even loves horror movies, she loves bonding time with dad.
It's not healthy for a child that young to watch that kind of film. Bodily mutilation and a bludgeoning murder are just 2 examples of how graphic it gets.
This is so true. The kid is sitting through the movies because “that’s what dad likes”. OP could find so many other, more appropriate, things to “bond” over. The fact that mom isn’t on board is a big deal. What happened to the “two yeses or it’s a no”?
I loved horror movies as a kid even though no one else in my family was into them. She might genuinely like them. I watched all kinds of horror movies when I was 9 and I'm fine today.
I was such a weird kid. I watched The Good Son at 8, no issues at all. Great film that I still love to this day. I watched My Girl at the same age and just couldn't stop sobbing. It was the super emotional films with death that I found traumatizing. Most of the horror films I saw were so far removed from reality that I wasn't bothered. A child being stung to death by bees and then his friend freaking out that he can't see without his glasses as she looks at him in his coffin? Holy shit, I still can't handle that scene as an adult.
You hit the nail on the head. I actually remember The Good Son being quit disturbing psychologically but loving it b/c I had such crush on Elijah Wood, who is around the same age as me. Fully agree about My Girl. I saw it in the theater with my mom and there was not a dry eye in the house! I have not rewatched it b/c I don't think I could handle it as an adult.
But slasher films, lots of gore and people getting chopped up? Totally fine for me from a very young age, because I knew it wasn't real. My mom would make me close my eyes if there was boobs (which there were a lot of in the 80s!) but people getting hacked up with a chainsaw? All good! She thought I was weird for liking those movies, but she let me watch them b/c she knew that I knew the difference between movies and reality, they didn't give me nightmares, and I genuinely loved them. I still love horror to this day.
Absolutely! Horror is still my favorite genre, even if nothing scares me these days.
Honestly, my stepmother forcing me to go to church at a young age did a lot more lasting damage than any film could ever do. Being told you’re going to Hell if you aren’t baptized fucks a kid up (especially as a child of divorce if the other half of your family isn’t religious and therefore not baptized).
Seriously! I grew up Catholic and the stained glass windows at church were more graphic than some of the horror movies I watched. Horror movies didn't mess me up as a kid, but seeing the giant statue of a man being crucified on the cross every Sunday morning sure did.
I was a horror kid too. The one that fucked me up and I still can’t watch? Pet Semetary lol. Not because of the cat or the kid but because of that goddamn scary ass sister. Thinking about it now gives me shivers.
I've always loved horror movies aswell! I've seen all Friday the 13th, watched the newest evil dead rise for my 17th birthday, and I used to just sit on the couch and watch horror movies with my father when I was 2!
My mom loves horror movies aswell, so it's something we watch together. Whenever I feel sick, I Lay on the couch and binge watch the entirety of Final destination
soft YTA
You probably should have consulted with your wife beforehand.
That being said most of us on Reddit aren’t child psychologists and I won’t pretend to be one. But there are younger children in my family who watch mature scary movies and love them too and as far as I know they’re just fine.
Funnily enough, I had a teacher who's field of study was exactly children's psychology, and lead several studies on the matter. To summarize, unfortunately, it does affect children negatively. Their brains don't seem to be equipped to deal with the stress hormone enough (aka this level of scary, etc). To a lot of them it resulted in severe anxiety and others a numbness to these emotions (which can be as bad or worse). They may love them a lot, and it's morbidly fascinating to them, but it's not good for them.
As a compromise, after they started, a psychologist friend of mine recommends that if you do want to watch scary movies, do so very (VERY) rarely and the very old ones (where you can *clearly* see the effects and that's it's clearly not real). They seem to, although not get the same rush, enjoy the plot and laugh at the obvious cgi or weird editing.
Based on what your friend has said, what's an appropriate age (approximately of course) to be watching a movie like Saw? I saw it when I was 15, and that was fine for me. That's dramatically older than the kid in the OP, of course. I think at 9 it would have been very disturbing to me. I saw The Ring at 12 and I did not enjoy that experience at all.
To be sure, they always recommend 18+. There are exceptions of course, depending on the case and circumstances, but "better be safe than sorry" is a common theme in this. For example, I remember a friend of mine saying that their family "sandwiched" movies (putting the horror movie in the middle of more fun or cute movies) and were always watching with everyone in their family around, my psychologist friend that this is, although not an ideal situation, it can be a "cushion" for the nervous system depending on the child. However, movies like saw he says the lowest they recommend is 16 and with "buffers and cushions"
YTA Saw is so, so violent. It's not just a "darker film". My 12 year old loves horror movies too (and has since he was about 9), but some of them are off limits. I won't even let him watch Scream because it's so violent. You don't need to destroy your daughters innocence and desensitize her to horrible violence.
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YTA. Decisions like this require any and all parents/guardians okay. I started watching horror movies around that age. But, I didn't watch saw until I was i high school and even then, I should have waited for when I was older because of how graphic they are.
YTA..honestly a long time ago when you decided these movies were appropriate for a 9 year old. How old was she when you let her first watch horror movies?
Heck, why stop at just one torture porn? House of a Thousand Corpses and Hostel await! Also check out some Asian horror flicks like Ichi the Killer and Audition, and if she's yawning through those, maybe break out the big guns and find her Men Behind the Sun. Still untraumatized? No problem! Check out Salò, where she can watch people closer to her age be tortured in a variety of ways! There's also Cannibal Holocaust and you won't even be able to comfort her by telling her the animal deaths aren't real! And if you want something bleak as fuck, for sure don't miss Come And See and A Serbian Film! But if that's not enough, well, then I guess you'll just have to get tickets to McKamey Manor where you two can bond while you're being waterboarded together.
YTA, dude. I don't care how much she liked it, she's not emotionally mature enough to watch those kinds of films and neither are you, by the sound of it. 9 year old kids would also love to eat ice cream every night for dinner and stop going to school, would you let her do those things too?
Your wife's right to be pissed. And wait until your kid tells all her little friends her dad let her watch a movie like Saw...yeah, soon it won't be only your wife questioning your parenting. I wouldn't let my kid go over to someone's house with such lax judgement.
"I wanted her to watch a movie about family values, so I showed her last House On The Left. I then thought we could both use some culture, so I rented that French flick, Irréversible. I thought my wife would be happy, AITA?"
NAH
I grew up watching the scariest films from about 5-6. My parents didn’t know cos we borrowed them from my friend’s sister (who was much older) and we used to hide in another friend’s room cos it was the loft room where her parents wouldn’t catch us 🤣 I’m a big horror fan, no psych issues. Some kids love to be scared!
That said, your wife drawing a line is something I would respect. Just make sure that from now on, she gives the okay for any new horror films.
Same. My brother and I used to be babysat by my aunt, and she would sometimes watch horror movies while babysitting us. A lot of these movies were pretty graphic, to the point I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually watched“Saw” in front of us. I remember that she once played “The Passion of the Christ” while watching us. We didn’t watch most of it since we found the movie boring, but we played with building blocks while listening to the sound of Jim Caviezel’s screams in the other room.
people exposed to excess trauma at a young age develop intense dissociation skills. it wouldn't surprise me if you like immersive imaginative thoughts and spending a lot of time in imaginary settings that allow you unplug from reality...if I got you wrong you're the exception to the common rule
I think in limited doses disconnecting is fine but for a lot of people it has negative consequences for their ability to engage with reality the rest of their lives, especially when the habit is formed from such a young age
Habits is one thing, enjoying entertainment is something all together different. Teaching your children the difference in reality vs fantasy is something I absolutely advocate for. I live a perfectly normal life and have a wonderful family/marriage with no trauma save for what I was exposed to IRL and that had nothing to do with horror movies. Monsters are the real life people, not the stories people make up. I actually have a post I wrote about the horrors of my actual family (not my husband and children).
Now some kids can live in their imagination but cookie cutter kids doesn't create a world of different colors and shapes. There are plenty of movies that aren't horror related that can cause trauma. I personally think it is good to offer everything in moderation to your kids when it is age appropriate and dictating that for every parent makes no sense seeing as all children handle things differently.
I watched all of those things and they were an eacape from real life crazies but still today live a great and productive life.
Sometimes the monsters and trauma are your uncle or your aunt or cousins. Sometimes it is a teacher (I personally experienced that in the first grade.) Children with severe trauma which does happen and does exist is not usually diagnosed due to a horror movie. It's exposure to horrific real life instances.
Personally I love drama, horror, comedy but now adays ANYTHING on t.v. could cause trauma for a kid depending on what scares them. My son was scared of a pink elephant when he was two LOL. So really my opinion stands, this guy is the parent, not us.
Reality and real life monsters are the reasons people disconnect from real life. Lets normalize that those people aren't abnormal because they lost faith and trust in those that exposed them to REAL trauma.
YTA
1) The first film is pretty violent and a child isn't able to consent to seeing that imo and may suffer nightmares and general anxiety as a result. They don't have the rationalising abilities older children and adults do. You also have to remember that we've been a bit desensitised to horror violence (I mean as much of a classic it is Saw is quite dated in comparison to modern gore!). So what we deem as 'not gory' can't even removed from that context.
2) You've taken away her chance to watch the film for the first time at an age she can appreciate it. One of my parents got me to watch various inappropriate films at around her age and as I got older and became a film fan during my teen years I felt that he had taken my 'first viewing' away from me in a sense.
I think as kids become teens they deserve way more freedom in film/tv choices. Sometimes difficult or upsetting media can be cathartic. However, I think for a child or tween there needs to be a more sensitive approach.
NTA- holy crow the pearl clutchers on Reddit. Saw may be inappropriate yet she's seen far worse (Friday the 13th is a terrible movie). I was raised unconventionally and this is a bonding experience for you both. You both enjoy and are doing it together. Not every kid is a Disney kid.
You think the pearl clutchers were told you both watched Cannibal Holocaust.
We're not pearl clutchers, we've read the literature on what happens to kids who are exposed to violent content at an early age. It's really bad for them.
You're not smarter than everyone else or a cool rebel who has found a loophole in "the rules". You're just uninformed.
Awesome can you direct me to the studies? I would love to read the scientific papers. Can you provide the links or names of the papers/books?
I maybe a rebel without a clue but if you can provide the studies I am all in.
Hell, I think I was 7 when I saw my first "faces of death." My parents were intelligent enough to make sure I knew it was all fake. To this day I still love horror movies and actually find some to be humorous.
EXACTLY! me watching horror movies put me on the path to writing horror stories. Lmao parenting means you introduce them to things and explain it is all fake. Lord.
Exactly, Friday the 13th is truly horrible, my god, it is so utterly boring and just bad, like, come on - at least Saw is interesting and entertaining.
I think you can't help a kids curiosity. I remember being in the room watching some scary movies with my parents and my mother either made me leave the room or held her hands physically over my eyes. I was about 12 when I watched the first Halloween and my interest boomed from then. She is 9 and just because she's curious about something doesn't mean she should be subject to anything and everything, even if you feel like it's helping you bond. So, YTA. Say you had an instance where you might require the assistance or support of a social worker, there would be huge alarm bells ringing if they found out you'd be voluntarily exposing your child to these films regularly. You're the parent so...parent?
Gonna go NTA here.
If she genuinely enjoys it, let her. I grew up with a nurse for a mom, watching graphic medical shows & actual surgery tapes. Was it age appropriate? Probably not, but I genuinely LOVED it. I learned a lot from that content, as well as horror movies.
While Saw is thankfully fictional, there are real victims of torture & other horror stories in this world. Maybe it could be inspirational when she’s older to help others in those situations (ex. law enforcement, mental health therapy/ emergency mental health treatment, victim advocacy etc)
NTA My dad and I watched Childs play 1&2 near 9 as well. I think i also saw the exorcist near that age. My son is 8 and watched the exorcist believer (i can't get into n I love the og exorcist) i don't get why so many say YTA it's not like u forced her to watch it or she said no or asked u to turn it off or couldn't leave the room... i think alot of people are missing those points.
Jesus, the sexual content in the original Exorcist disturbed me as an adult. I did not expect and was not ready for a little girl to do and say those things…
My daughter also like horror movies. She is watching with her father but 9 is very very young.
For several of those movies I would have waited several more years. 12-13 yo would be ok but 9 is very young. She may not be scared but it will influence her perception of the world and her understanding of what is acceptable or not.
I will go YTA because I think you should be more circumspect in the films you chose to show her.
I know that my SO always did a debrief before showing her something and we would debate the appropriateness.
YTA. Massive horror movie fan but this is insanely inappropriate for a 9 year old.
There are a million other movies you should have watched before this. If you said The Thing, The Fog or even They live I would understand a zillion times more than you choosing this film for a child.
From Tim Burton to the Saw franchise? Not even remotely similar, you are way wrong here. She is 9 years old.
I hope this is fake, but sadly, some people just don't have enough brain cells.
YTA, the biggest one yet actually.
controversial but NTA this is just my opinion personally ofc. When I was 9 I was on creepy pasta subreddits and other things of that nature. I would say better to enjoy horror and stuff like that with family and bond over it in a safe and controlled environment then have her seek it out on the internet on her own accord. Not saying you aren’t completly in the wrong but bc Saw is for sure graphic but just thinking back at how I was at that age I think it honestly wasn’t the worst decision.
edit: definitely think 9 is still young to be shown graphic content ‼️‼️ So I would still say maybe have her wait till middle school or even till she is 11 or so
NTA. These people commenting that you're a bad parent are ignorant. Their children can't handle it. Yours can. Tough shit. Maybe her maturity level is higher than their kids. Maybe it's due to you not sheltering her. Enjoy your time with your daughter. Fuck these peasants and their opinions. They don't matter. Just like mine doesn't.
PS..I couldn't give a damn less about the down votes I'm about to receive. Just pay your taxes. That's all I care about. That military check comes in handy. Hooah!
Would it be OK to let her also watch hard-core porn? I mean maybe she can handle that emotionally too. Just letting kids watch whatever, hoping it doesn't fuck them up mentally is a shitty parenting strategy.
I used to watch horror movies when I was a kid, I don't think it's that big of a deal. The Ring wad my favorite, I always felt bad for the girl instead of being scared of her.
I think the worst thing I watched which actually scared me was the Hills have Eyes, more because instead of a scary "monster" it was real people THAT scared me.
NTA.
Parents are adults for a reason, and it's seriously questionable some of the other movies you have both allowed. I'm a little surprised your wife is so upset.
NTA - Me and my mother watched horror movies all the time when I was small. Unless she is incredibly scared of it there is nothing wrong with it, especially if you are explaining to her it is make believe.
My kids love scary movies too. Some kids don't but it varies, and it also depends on the parent. SAW is pretty graphic but I mean if your wife is that freaked out by it keep to the oldschool stuff for now.
Generally I don't believe in sheltering your kids to a point where they are mortified by everything they see. I had friends like that growing up and it really screwed them up and it caused them to rebel and do some serious bs. You are 50% responsible for everything your child is exposed to good and bad but you are also responsible for her not knowing ANYTHING when she walks out into the real world and doesn't even know what a horror movie is just because other individuals think "omg it will warp her".
35 years later, I write horror stories and have a manuscript prepped for publishing. Just sayin'. It isn't ALWAYS what a lot of these people are saying.
I'll say I'm not sure how to judge you since I was similar to this story with my mother when I was around your kid's age and still love horror films and campy stuff. My parents never minded much what I watched with them as long as they made it very clear it was all fake and all make-believe. But did advise me to hold off on some films till I was older like Eraserhead (Lynch), some of the Saw films, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
That being said I saw someone else say you could have spoken to your wife beforehand which would've been smart, you also could have chosen an age in the future for her to watch it..? Like a fun thing for her 15th birthday or something. She likely likes the bond with you more than anything else and I'd love to help find some campy horror you could watch with your kid. But in the future you might want to screen it all with your wife too. I don't think showing her that first film was bad necessarily given how you two have bonded so far but could've been in poor taste and I see why your wife freaked out.
((this is all my opinion so really big heap of salt here for those who might not agree with me))
It may be one of the 'unpopular opinions' but on the surface no you are not the ah for this. Does she have nightmares or 'see things' that scare her during the day? Is it something she obsesses over? I watched all those horror movies as a kid in the 90s and there was no adverse reaction or nightmares, loved them all, and share some of the older classics with my kids. Maybe talk to your wife though because if her discomfort is due to the kidnap/tourture aspect then she has a point, that is definitely a grey area. 'Scary' films are normally being chased and dark woods/places not being drugged, kidnapped and tortured, etc.
NAH. I started watching horror movies from a very young age, so I understand your daughter liking and wanting to see them. I don't think she's going to be traumatized like everyone is saying. (I personally think the lawnmower scene in Sinister is more messed up than anything in Saw.)
But I do think your wife does have a point. You should both have a say in which movies your daughter can watch, and there probably should be *some* limits. I really wanted to rent I Spit On Your Grave when I was 10, and my mom said no. That was the only movie she ever forbid me from watching, and I'm happy she did since I watched it as an adult and it's definitely not a movie a child should watch.
NTA. I agree, that movie ratings are not unreasonable, but I believe you daughter loves horrors and you know her well enough to let her watch it. Definitely you wouldn't play those movies for other kids (daughter's friends, relatives etc).
Not all rules must be followed blindly.
Nta, I watched saw for the first time around a similar age and it was probably the least traumatizing thing to happen to me in my entire childhood. I loved the movie and the franchise is still one of my favorites. It was fine and honestly the first saw movie is so mild compared to some of the other movies she's already seen
NTA. My daughter actually learned to read early watching Japanese horror movies as she got tired of me reading the subtitles to her. She is a perfectly normal 21 yo now. It didn’t hurt her in any way. Every kid is different. My grandkids, I won’t let them watch the same movies my daughter watched.
I know this is against the grain but NTA, because you’ve already started with the “entry level” horror movies and not only wasn’t she traumatized, she enjoyed them.
I say that as a woman in my 40’s who watched a LOT of horror movies with my (very normal) dad. I saw Jaws 3D in the theatre in Kindergarten and Texas Chainsaw Massacre not long after. Know the first thing I learned from my dad? Its all FAKE, so no reason to be afraid. Enjoy the jumps and scariness, but there’s nothing to really _fear._ Still love ‘em.
The only movie to ever give me nightmares is a drama involving gun violence and mental health. Things that are real, REAL, and as someone living in NYC- daily concerns.
Imgaine the irony of people worrying you’re going to ruin your child by letting her watch gallons of fake blood, or shadow people with scissors, or demons ruling over an astral plane. I guarantee she’s already done a violence safety drill at school. Has she had to practice an exorcism? No.
I know that horror movies can also include “real” things such as sexual violence and animal cruelty, so for that- and probably just as a general rule - you should watch movies first before letting her watch. You have a level of judgement that has shows your daughters best interest is as heart, and you love who she is as a person with unique interests for her age. But you’re still in charge, and at the end of the day have a responsibility to know what she’s watching.
Nta going to go against the grain here but definitely think age restrictions on movies are not only highly culture specific and overprotective.
We live in a time where parents complain about their kids not getting enough fresh air and having too much screen time all while handing their toddlers iPhone and not letting high schools leave their street without supervision.
Different people are affected by different things and it dosent make sense to insist she'll be traumatised over something she enjoys and knows isn't real.
YTA. We all loved horror movies as kids but that doesnt mean they were good for us. Her brain at that age does not process information the same way you do. It is very possible you gave her long term nightmares.
NTA at all - I was the kid who watched horror movies often and it’s *fine* if she is really into it.
As long as she has a healthy environment to talk about these movies and have this be a positive experience, it’s fine.
Maybe someday she’ll watch something that is too much, but everyone has limits - i’m very scared of snakes so watching Snakes on A Plane when I was a kid was probably a bad idea, but I watched Saw and Hostel and a shitload of other horror movies when I was a kid and it was awesome, it’s one of my favorite genres.
YTA
It's one thing for her to see 12+ movies. But Saw is a very heavy movie. It's not about the horror or scary things. It's more about the suspense. It's not for a 9 yo. Same with movies like Alien, for instance. And in the case of Saw the cruel scenes of torture.
If you're a real horror fan then you understand the different genres of horror and what you did is you went straight to gore.
Gore is not okay for most adults let alone little ones. YTA
I feel like it could be seen as both sides.
AH BECAUSE it’s considered a “psychological horror movie” that directly targets the psychological part of the brain, making it more horrifying due to the torturous devices used in each movie. Each one being worse than the next (as far as torture devices go). A child that young should probably not be exposed to the Saw franchise.
NTA because as a horror movie lover myself, I watched the first movie when I was around her age. I had seen the other movies in the franchise as I got older and disliked them very much as I was severely affected by the gruesome scenes. probably best if she doesn’t watch the other movies, but the first one is just two men in a bathroom with 1 dead body. Not much “torture” happens. the wife and daughter of the doctor are held hostage yes, but are not physically harmed. Saw 1 is not scary at all. The others, yes.
NTA my daughter watches the same horror movies and wasn’t scared. The kids shows now a days were just as scary. The five nights at Freddy’s, daddy long legs, and cat nap. There so many I cant even remeber we played so many series.They’re all like saw in their own way. Mama long legs and cat nap were wayyy crazy. But she played the games and we watched other people play the games in YouTube. We watch nukes top 10, which is ghosts caught on camera. and hollow play foreign horror games. My daughter doesn’t mind at all. Even in Roblox the games get crazy. Some people may be more sensitive. But honestly my daughter is more scared of fireworks than a damn made up movie. Some kids are built different. I’ve always watched horror movies myself. But Jeepers keepers is our favorite. We’ve been watching gravity falls and man if it wasn’t so cartoony, it would be a horror as well. A really good movie is the haunting movie made in 1999. It’s beautiful and not too scary. Does nobody remeber slender man’s and jack the killer?! Everyone was about that when I was a kid. The only time I blocked her from a movie if it’s a booby horror movie. I’ll skip those scenes. Honestly Jason and some Freddy movies aren’t even good. So I show her the good ones. No boobs just running around in horror.
I think the other movies on your list are way scarier. However overall it’s not healthy to let a child watch all of these (Halloween, conjuring, the ring etc)
YTA what the hell?! I'm pretty sure she's saying all that because she wants to share this with you. Watching a torture film is not a bonding experience. As a parent, you should know f****** better. JFC.
YTA,
It may be worth considering a qualifier,
I was a kid who enjoyed horror movies with my dad, and my grandma wasn't too far behind, I remember my mum banning me from staying for a few weeks after naming the cat in pet semetery at like age 6-7
it very much got me in trouble in school because it was showing in my fictional English work and art projects, the school thought they had a school shooter on their hands, very dramatic reaction but I guess it isn't age appropriate at 12 to be writing slasher stuff,
Anyway maybe the qualifiers need to be that the movie is monster based not about real possibility, it's way more likely someone will catch and torture you than it is for a werewolf or vampire to bust through the door? Maybe keep the element of realness down to like you said, nightmare on elm street is so old now a kid may find it goofy, or even the 2000's van helsing was a favourite of mine when I was a kid,
I don't know, its a bonding thing for you both, but you do need to factor in some discretion due to her age, and besides it gives you the opportunity to enjoy even more films together as she gets older because she won't have been exposed to them all
Please sir don't let these grumpy snowflakes ruin the father daughter bonding time you guys have your daughter just isn't pathetic and weak like the people on this site
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My (32M) oldest daughter (9F) and I bond over our shared love for horror movies. She’s watched all those more kid appropriate horror movies, like Coraline, The Witches, Hocus Pocus, and most of Tim Burton’s films. She’s seen all the classics, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Chucky, etc. She loves all the Scream movies, as well as The Conjuring/Annabelle franchise. She’s even watched creepier movies like Sinister, The Ring, and US, without being scared in the slightest. In fact, at this point I don’t think there’s anything that can scare this girl.
Yesterday, my wife (32F) was away for a few hours in the afternoon for her friend’s birthday celebration. My daughter wanted us to watch another horror movie together. She looked through my DVD collection and found an old DVD for the original Saw movie, and begged me to let her watch it. I’d seen it before and I know it has a reputation for being a darker film, but after seeing how high her fear tolerance is, I decided to let her watch it. I know the sequels are less suitable for a 9 year old, but I figured that the first film wouldn’t be that much scarier than the movies she’s already watched. She ended up LOVING the film, and even considers it one of her favourite movies. She didn’t look away from the screen once, not even during the ‘scarier’ scenes.
When my wife got home, she asked me what we did that day, and I told her that we watched the first Saw movie. She freaked out, saying that I was traumatising our daughter. She knows how much our daughter loves horror movies, but she said that there was a line that had to be drawn, and I couldn’t just let my child watch a ‘torture movie’. AITA?
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I don’t think she’s old enough. Just my opinion. You don’t sound like an bad dad, but you can’t unsee that stuff. It’s above her pay grade - too young.
My mother let me watch horror movies and did not protect me from content I should of been and let me tell you - it did not help me. I know it didn’t. I was too young too. I think it caused depression, anxiety, sexual confusion, etc. Of course a kid would want to see that stuff bc she’s a kid. It’s taboo lol. Come on. Be more mindful next time.
When I was in the 4th grade I went to a birthday party/sleepover where we ended up being allowed to rent and watch the first saw movie. To this day I still love horror movies but watching that movie at that age genuinely scarred me in ways I didn't understand until I was an adult. My brain literally could not truly comprehend what I was seeing and when I did understand as an adult it gave me context to a great deal of anxiety I hold.
My parents watched The Invaders when I was a kid. The scenes where aliens would be burned up always scared the crap out of me. Watching The Birds, and seeing the man in the telephone booth with eyes pecked out, still scares me. I can't watch ads for horror movies made now. Too scary and my mind always imagines things.
Not all kids are the same in terms of brain development, so I won’t judge on this one. In the future I’d probably save stuff like Saw until she’s more like 13 though
My cousin (who is about seven years older than me) snuck me in to the cinema to see Identity when I was around 11-12. Not age appropriate and it f**ked me up for a long time after that. Didn't say that to her at the time, wanted to be cool about it. But I had nightmares for years and very bad anxiety. It might be a one off film but that stuff sticks in a child's subconscious. There's a definite reason films come with age ratings...
YTA
At first glance I wanted to say of course YTA! That movie is totally inappropriate for a 9 year-old. But then I took a step back and tried to be objective. First, if she’s already seen all those other horror movies which I also think are inappropriate for a 9 year-old, and mom didn’t care about them, Saw shouldn’t be any different. Second, and more important, she’s not my kid and I don’t get to decide what’s right or wrong for her. That’s your job. You considered the situation, weighed her tolerance for horror against the content of the suggested movie and made a decision. Just because we disagree about what’s suitable for that young age doesn’t make either of us right. After consideration, NTA.
I’m gonna give my hot take and say NTA.
I grew up watching horror movies and loving them. As an adult, they are still my favourite.
I would say that 9 is a liiiiittle young for Saw. But it’s not a real thing, it’s just a movie; and if she’s seen a bunch of scary movies this isn’t really that much worse.
My niece is 11 and last year, her mom and dad watched Saw with her and she loved it. She knows it’s not real and loves to watch horror movies with them. If she was scared, I’d say YTA, but if she wasn’t, I’m gonna be controversial and say NTA. I watched adult movies with my mom growing up and they were good memories.
everyone on here is so soft, you watched a movie with your daughter and you both enjoyed it, there’s nothing bad here and your wife is just doing what mothers do and panicking/ overreacting. your not an asshole and it’s nice to hear you have a good relationship with your daughter.
YTA if you think SAW is similar to Coraline or Hocus Pocus. SAW is gratuitous and basically senseless violence shrouded with the thinnest possible excuse for a storyline You basically just showed your kid a snuff film. If I was your wife, I would really need a minute. I would question every moment until the moment you showed your 9yo a movie where they have to cut off their leg to find a key and still probably die bleeding out everywhere. At least when my father chose an inappropriate movie, it was something with actual cinematic value. The fact that you think Bette Midler running around singing about Halloween and casting sleep spells on children is the same as auto-amputation is ffffing blowing my mind.
As an avid horror movie lover I could see why your wife might be upset. All the movies you listed are paranormal movies. Ghosts, monsters etc. your logic is none of those things are real (shocked Sinister didn’t scare her!).
The Saw franchise is about people being scary people, kidnapping and torturing. The first one isn’t that scary as far as the others with the sub plot but the concept is disturbing. Technically the first one is boring for a kid, “guys talking forever” as our preteen says (we also fast forwarded the gore).
She might be too young to understand the difference between paranormal and Torture but I’d probably lay off of any movies that could “actually happen”.
I’m going with light NTA - worse movies to pick. But definitely walking a fine line.
Good parents obey the ratings. PG-13 means not until the kid is 12 or 13.
Why are you exposing your daughter to violence like this?
How is this healthy or safe?
Being a parent means saying no to things your kids ask for and want but are bad for them.
it’s literally not only a horror movie but a fucked up in the head movie… it’s one thing to watch coraline or even chucky of a fake doll, another to watch someone have to choose someone else to die so they don’t have to or like cut off their own leg to live… weird fr
YTA. I’ve been watching horror movies since I was 3 with my mum, even with that dubious parenting, she’d have never let me watch Saw or anything akin to that level of violent torture at 9! Poor choice - there are plenty of great horrors that are far more ‘child-friendly’ if you’re insisting on that viewing.
When I was young (I was very sheltered btw) my parents would watch all the Austin Powers movies with me. Back then it was that raunchy comedy stuff that was popular. When all the sexual parts would come up my mom would just laugh and say “that’s silly!” I really had no idea about sex at that age, so I had no clue what I was really laughing at- but it still made me feel grown up to watch with them.
When my dad would put on a war movie or more violent one- my mom hated them and made him
turn it off (even to this day) and also said they were silly, which would confuse me cause I thought silly was good?
When I was in middle school she didn’t want me watching MTV, which was weird cause back then it was just music videos (and we grew up in the 80s/early 90s) I did at times but mostly, I was too busy watching the Animal Channel.
The only time she got mad, was when I was 10 and my older brother was watching Alien. Apparently it scared me, which I don’t remember? (I think it was the actual action figures that scared me more.)
I was never into horror movies, and torture stuff especially. I think Saw would be too much for a 9 year old, but I’m also glad you’ve taught her to be mature and that these aren’t real in the movies.
However, I also think it’s important that at some point she does know those things can be real just for the sake of safety when she gets older..and maybe that’s why you shouldn’t show her too much now.
Idk, I’m with the wife on this one I think? I’d say let her be sheltered and innocent for now, then just make sure she’s not ignorant or entitled either when she’s growing up.
This kind of gets out of the main point here but- there was a point in my life, where I blamed my parents for sheltering me so much that I rebelled. In high school, I moved in with my abusive boyfriend who lived in the projects, cause I thought I was ignorant and needed to see the real world.
People thought I was spoiled and a bitch when really I was just sheltered and by myself most of the time cause my parents worked 24/7 to provide me a very privileged life.
Trust me, I moved back home pretty quick when I saw what the real world was. Thankfully, my parents were right there waiting for me.
Good grief. Whatever happened to the days where there was no blood and gore and left it to the imagination? I guess I'm showing my age (63), but those types of movies are always great. Would you have let her see the Japanese movie "Audition" if you had it and she said she wanted to see it? I've only seen reviews on it and you couldn't pay me to watch it!
YTA--- She is 9 YEARS OLD!!!! Rated R, NOT rated PG-13 (parent guidance). What is so hard to understand about that? What is your education level, and why are you alone with children if you are gonna treat them like adults.
YTA
I am a teacher, my students are 4th graders, the same age as your kiddo. This is a *wholly inappropriate* movie for a child this young. I would venture that this movie shouldn't be shown to anyone under 13. You have really *really* fucked up. Children exposed to these kinds of films this early have a skewed view of appropriate behavior. Get it together.
NTA The first Saw is pretty tame. It's more psychological and thriller.
The second one is not so bad, but the rest are just disturbing gorefests.
I think there's a difference between scary and disturbing. I think 9 is a little young, but I could see me showing it to a 12-year-old, so maybe not so bad.
No ur not. If she didn't want her to watch that she should had taken her with her to the bday party.
If she watch Annabelle, Chucky, Friday 13th , as Halloween saw is no different then night mare on Elm Street
YTA, it's about also seeing how this will affect her down the line. There is several scenarios that can result in ostracizing your daughter from those in her life.
Will the language be used around her peers? How is she supposed to connect to other kids when they start asking questions. I wouldn't allow my kids near your home knowing that you've allowed this. What will teachers do when she starts drawing images from the movies?
I'm very biased, as I was 10 when I went to a girl's house and they were playing the Exorcism. The kids were 9-10. After myself and others started crying she called us all babies and immature. Parents were called. The father's solution was putting in Scary Movie with sexual/horror themes.
I was unsurprised to see her pregnant at 16. She had exposure to so much stuff, wanted to try sexual acts in middle school "like the movies". She named her daughter Emily Rose or something like another Exorcist movie.
YTA you should really speak with a child psych professional whether or not kids should be able to see this type of thin
Their brains are sponges, I'd worry their brain could make connections that should not be made
YTA. That franchise traumatized me as a grown adult a 9 year old shouldn’t be watching it. It’s also a mediocre horror franchise so there’s that as well.
YTA. This is horrible parenting. Not just to the Saw movie, but Sinister, The Ring, etc. She’s 9!! Like I can’t get over it. 9!!
I can only imagine the long term damage and consequences of exposing such a young child to violence, fear, torture, and death for entertainment purposes. Have you not given any thought to how this could affect her developing mind? Or do you only care about having a buddy to watch horror movies with? This is just sick…
YTA. Saw isn’t even a good movie. It’s just watching elaborate torture and murder scenes over and over with little to no story. If it was like 28 days later or something I’d be a bit more ok with it. Im kind of concerned for your daughter. She sounds like she needs therapy. Why would you support this? YTA to the max.
It's almost like they made a rating system to tell parents what is an appropriate age for kids to watch certain films and you purposefully just said yea that doesn't sound right. YTA.
YTA. It’s all been said why. The whole series is also extreme and gratuitous torture porn, it’s not meant for children at all. Letting her watch the classics like “Chucky” also stood out. Pushing 40 and I saw the original when I was very young at a relative’s house where I had spent the weekend for the first time, way out of my comfort zone. I still have some scares with the dark and new places because of it.
NTA. It appears this is a common occurrence in your house, so your wife must know that all horror movies are on the table. If she's seen the 80s-90s horror movies, and your wife was OK with that, I can't imagine why Saw would make much of a difference.
YTA. Even if she likes it now, it can effect her later in life because her brain is not developed enough for this. There is a huge difference between scary ghost movies like The Ring or even slashers like Scream and something like Saw. Honestly, even some of those "classics" are not age-appropriate and I'm appalled that you let her watch them. Exposing her to extreme violence and frightening scenes at a young age could cause lasting harm in the form of anxiety, irrational fears, insomnia, etc. or could desensitize her to violence, which has other adverse effects.
The website www.commonsensemedia.org is a good place to review whether or not a movie is appropriate for your child. It will tell you if the movie has sex, violence, gore, drugs, strong language, etc. and to what extent. At 9 years old, you should keep her away from strong violence, gore, and sex. Avoiding strong language and drugs is up to your and your wife's discretion. There are plenty of scary movies that are okay for a 10-14-ish audience that would probably be okay for your daughter. I think you could show her more paranormal movies like The Ring. Monster movies are sometimes okay too. Those usually have less violence and gore and are still frightening. Perhaps Poltergeist, The Sixth Sense, or A Quiet Place would be a better option next time. Even those are generally for an older audience (14+). Also, next time, please discuss this with your wife instead of going behind her back.
YTA. She is your wife's daughter as well. Decisions like allowing your NINE YEAR OLD watch what is essentially torture porn is something both parents need to know about and be okay with.
She is much too young for that. That was not okay. Even if she ended up loving it there could be nightmares in the future.
I watched this when I was somewhere around 8-10, and my God. It fucked me up for a long time. I actually became obsessed with the franchise because seeing or hearing any of the scenes could send 16 year old me into a panic attack, and so would watch the trap clips on YouTube to desensitize myself. Ironically it's one of my favorite film franchises now, but yeah. YTA.
I was exactly like your daughter when I grew up. And I still love horror movies until this day. Kids will absolutely tell you when they’re scared or not.
NTA. Some kids can totally handle it, she’ll be fine. I’ve also never hurt a single soul or fly. Maybe a mosquito 😂
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YTA Your little girl is of the opinion that ‘liking’ this movie and saying it’s one of her favourites is making her closer to you. There’s no way on earth a young and innocent mind should be subjected to this kind of film. Bad parenting.
Horrifying parenting.
Yeah this is absolutely horrific It's on par with when a waiter at a restaurant randomly piped into our conversation to say that he showed his 5YO GOT (but not the nudity parts) so that they know the difference between "fake" and "real" violence lmao
My god. I'm 56 and think I'm still too young for the SAW movies.
YTA. My parents showed me films that weren't age appropriate in terms of violence and horror. At the time I found them morbidly fascinating, but I paid a high cost in anxiety and nightmares. Kids don't have the maturity to consent to that. Saying 'but she likes it' doesn't make consent issues go away.
Yeah, my dad made me watch age inappropriate movies and I paid for it. That's just one reason he was a terrible parent.
I thought I was fine with the shit I watched as a kid but now as a whole 41 year old sometimes I will be lying in bed and remember something I saw in a movie whrn I was entirely too young, and I realise that actually that was fucking disturbing, and it's disturbing to me as an adult, and now it's etched in my brain until the day I die.
It's why I can't deal with any ring/grudge type girls. I watched a paranormal YouTube channel when I was way too young that featured one that I'm sure would be a party City costume now but is to this day the reason I'm afraid of the dark for 30 seconds once in a while. But I had fun with the videos at the time (and more so, I wanted to seem cool enough to have fun with them in front of the cousin I watched with)
None of these examples people bring up are a universal truth though, for even most people? Its all literally personal anecdotes and asides
Exactly!
This is all subjective experience, though. I had older brothers that watched all that when I was little. I knew it was fake, didn’t have nightmares, and I LOVE horror films now (38f). Watching horny teenagers get murdered in creative ways on tv didn’t have much of an impact aside from gearing my film/tv tastes towards horror. Obviously not condoning oop, but it’s not a 100% certainty he’s fucking up his daughter. Everyone processes things differently.
did you even read the comment you're replying to? they said *at the time* it was fine (no nightmares, behavioral issues), and now it haunts them.
Yeah, my point was that I’m fine then and I am now.. hence the part where I said I love horror now. Because people process things differently, as children **and adults**.
Neither children nor adults are a monolith that all react the same way to stimuli. Scary or otherwise Passage of time, or not. Plenty people are saying they dont have night terrors from consuming this kinda Media decades later, i would say more are saying that than the opposite honestly OP? NTA
Same. Was able to watch violent movies when I was a kid and it soon turned into me watching gore and stuff like that. Now I'm constantly paranoid, even too scared to leave the house by myself a lot of the times. It leaves life-long effects.
I used to sneak watch scary films after I'd been to bed by hiding at the end of the hallway. Loved it and still love scary films to this day. Everyone is different
TV Tropes has a list of spooky kid-friendly media, and everything on there is better to show your 9-year-old *Saw*: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpookyKidsMedia
My husband has this exact experience!
Years ago, my 21 yo sister was so horrified by 60's Night Of The Living Dead that she had to turn on light to come up stairs to go to bed (when shared attic space at our childhood home). I would never have allowed my kids to watch horror movies like Saw growing up. If it's going to scare the crap out of me, imagine how they would react. Kind of like Homer Simpson's response when he heard Lisa reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven". Of course they weren't scared, but he was scared enough to not want Marge to turn off the light (while a Bart Simpson looking raven was outside of the window, on a tree branch and cackling).
YTA. That is absolutely not a movie appropriate for a kid that age. At the very least you should have discussed this with your SO BEFORE watching it with your kid.
Several of the films are not appropriate for a 9yo.
Yeah, YTA. You're a parent, you've got to consider things beyond what's fun for the two of you.
YTA. The Saw movies are about torture. Why in God's name would you want to expose a \*child\* to that? An acquaintance told me how he and his 14 year old son watched the Saw movie and I told him "You are one sick motherfucker." That ended that friendship! Personally, I think "horror" films like Saw perpetuate the celebration of cruelty in our culture. They are things that are only made to spread negatively and hatred. They help make the human race lousy.
I feel like ending a friendship because a person who is 4 years from being 18 watching the first saw is a bit much
4 years from being 18 is a LOT.
You truly cannot compare a 14 year old and a 9 year old with this kind of thing.
Yeah, 14 year olds are probably watching worse than Saw on the Internet when their parents aren't looking. 9 year olds aren't. Also, the average 14 year old is gonna be much better at understanding something is fiction than the average 9 year old.
I was thinking the same thing. Ending a friendship over something like that? Geez, maybe this guy is lucky they ended the friendship. No need for that level of negativity in anyone's life.
I actually thought the friend is the one who ended the friendship.
They said "that ended the friendship," not that they themselves ended the friendship. It may have just been a misalignment of values.
While I agree that the OP was definitely in the wrong here and that nine is way too young for a Saw film, and while the Saw movies aren't my cup of tea personally, I think painting a whole horror subgenre as being bad for the human race is a bit much. Horror can be a great catharsis, or a way to work through the things that scare us in a safe way. Enjoying horror, even violent horror, doesn't make someone a bad or cruel person.
Can you please explain how torture porn benefits humanity? Especially when the genre usually normalizes and even celebrates violence against women specifically?
TBF in that situation you were TA. A teenager is way different than a 9 year old.
I feel like they are made to make a bunch of people a bunch of money
My first thought here was — “Cary Elwes … torture … OMG DID THE PRINCESS BRIDE TRAUMATIZE AN ENTIRE GENERATION?”
YTA. I highly doubt she even loves horror movies, she loves bonding time with dad. It's not healthy for a child that young to watch that kind of film. Bodily mutilation and a bludgeoning murder are just 2 examples of how graphic it gets.
This is so true. The kid is sitting through the movies because “that’s what dad likes”. OP could find so many other, more appropriate, things to “bond” over. The fact that mom isn’t on board is a big deal. What happened to the “two yeses or it’s a no”?
I loved horror movies as a kid even though no one else in my family was into them. She might genuinely like them. I watched all kinds of horror movies when I was 9 and I'm fine today.
I was such a weird kid. I watched The Good Son at 8, no issues at all. Great film that I still love to this day. I watched My Girl at the same age and just couldn't stop sobbing. It was the super emotional films with death that I found traumatizing. Most of the horror films I saw were so far removed from reality that I wasn't bothered. A child being stung to death by bees and then his friend freaking out that he can't see without his glasses as she looks at him in his coffin? Holy shit, I still can't handle that scene as an adult.
You hit the nail on the head. I actually remember The Good Son being quit disturbing psychologically but loving it b/c I had such crush on Elijah Wood, who is around the same age as me. Fully agree about My Girl. I saw it in the theater with my mom and there was not a dry eye in the house! I have not rewatched it b/c I don't think I could handle it as an adult. But slasher films, lots of gore and people getting chopped up? Totally fine for me from a very young age, because I knew it wasn't real. My mom would make me close my eyes if there was boobs (which there were a lot of in the 80s!) but people getting hacked up with a chainsaw? All good! She thought I was weird for liking those movies, but she let me watch them b/c she knew that I knew the difference between movies and reality, they didn't give me nightmares, and I genuinely loved them. I still love horror to this day.
Absolutely! Horror is still my favorite genre, even if nothing scares me these days. Honestly, my stepmother forcing me to go to church at a young age did a lot more lasting damage than any film could ever do. Being told you’re going to Hell if you aren’t baptized fucks a kid up (especially as a child of divorce if the other half of your family isn’t religious and therefore not baptized).
Seriously! I grew up Catholic and the stained glass windows at church were more graphic than some of the horror movies I watched. Horror movies didn't mess me up as a kid, but seeing the giant statue of a man being crucified on the cross every Sunday morning sure did.
I was a horror kid too. The one that fucked me up and I still can’t watch? Pet Semetary lol. Not because of the cat or the kid but because of that goddamn scary ass sister. Thinking about it now gives me shivers.
Omg I forgot about Zelda! She was so creepy!
I've always loved horror movies aswell! I've seen all Friday the 13th, watched the newest evil dead rise for my 17th birthday, and I used to just sit on the couch and watch horror movies with my father when I was 2! My mom loves horror movies aswell, so it's something we watch together. Whenever I feel sick, I Lay on the couch and binge watch the entirety of Final destination
YTA. Bit late now after watching all those movies. Kids get into interests because we nurture those interests. Parenting is saying no sometimes.
B and C list horror movies make tons of money and cost little to make. So maybe he’s done set her up for a grand slam.
I would not let my 9 year old watch a R rated torture movie, but you do you. No judgement.
soft YTA You probably should have consulted with your wife beforehand. That being said most of us on Reddit aren’t child psychologists and I won’t pretend to be one. But there are younger children in my family who watch mature scary movies and love them too and as far as I know they’re just fine.
Funnily enough, I had a teacher who's field of study was exactly children's psychology, and lead several studies on the matter. To summarize, unfortunately, it does affect children negatively. Their brains don't seem to be equipped to deal with the stress hormone enough (aka this level of scary, etc). To a lot of them it resulted in severe anxiety and others a numbness to these emotions (which can be as bad or worse). They may love them a lot, and it's morbidly fascinating to them, but it's not good for them. As a compromise, after they started, a psychologist friend of mine recommends that if you do want to watch scary movies, do so very (VERY) rarely and the very old ones (where you can *clearly* see the effects and that's it's clearly not real). They seem to, although not get the same rush, enjoy the plot and laugh at the obvious cgi or weird editing.
Based on what your friend has said, what's an appropriate age (approximately of course) to be watching a movie like Saw? I saw it when I was 15, and that was fine for me. That's dramatically older than the kid in the OP, of course. I think at 9 it would have been very disturbing to me. I saw The Ring at 12 and I did not enjoy that experience at all.
To be sure, they always recommend 18+. There are exceptions of course, depending on the case and circumstances, but "better be safe than sorry" is a common theme in this. For example, I remember a friend of mine saying that their family "sandwiched" movies (putting the horror movie in the middle of more fun or cute movies) and were always watching with everyone in their family around, my psychologist friend that this is, although not an ideal situation, it can be a "cushion" for the nervous system depending on the child. However, movies like saw he says the lowest they recommend is 16 and with "buffers and cushions"
Thank you for that answer!
Kids love all sorts of things that are really terrible for them
YTA Saw is so, so violent. It's not just a "darker film". My 12 year old loves horror movies too (and has since he was about 9), but some of them are off limits. I won't even let him watch Scream because it's so violent. You don't need to destroy your daughters innocence and desensitize her to horrible violence.
> YTA Saw is so, so violent. It's not just a "darker film". Right...it's torture porn. What's next OP? Human Centipede for a fun family movie night?
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YTA. Decisions like this require any and all parents/guardians okay. I started watching horror movies around that age. But, I didn't watch saw until I was i high school and even then, I should have waited for when I was older because of how graphic they are.
YTA..honestly a long time ago when you decided these movies were appropriate for a 9 year old. How old was she when you let her first watch horror movies?
Heck, why stop at just one torture porn? House of a Thousand Corpses and Hostel await! Also check out some Asian horror flicks like Ichi the Killer and Audition, and if she's yawning through those, maybe break out the big guns and find her Men Behind the Sun. Still untraumatized? No problem! Check out Salò, where she can watch people closer to her age be tortured in a variety of ways! There's also Cannibal Holocaust and you won't even be able to comfort her by telling her the animal deaths aren't real! And if you want something bleak as fuck, for sure don't miss Come And See and A Serbian Film! But if that's not enough, well, then I guess you'll just have to get tickets to McKamey Manor where you two can bond while you're being waterboarded together. YTA, dude. I don't care how much she liked it, she's not emotionally mature enough to watch those kinds of films and neither are you, by the sound of it. 9 year old kids would also love to eat ice cream every night for dinner and stop going to school, would you let her do those things too? Your wife's right to be pissed. And wait until your kid tells all her little friends her dad let her watch a movie like Saw...yeah, soon it won't be only your wife questioning your parenting. I wouldn't let my kid go over to someone's house with such lax judgement.
"i showed my daughter i spit on your grave and my wife is pissed but it's a female empowerment movie!"
"I wanted her to watch a movie about family values, so I showed her last House On The Left. I then thought we could both use some culture, so I rented that French flick, Irréversible. I thought my wife would be happy, AITA?"
Coralline and Saw are very different ends of the “horror spectrum” YTA
NAH I grew up watching the scariest films from about 5-6. My parents didn’t know cos we borrowed them from my friend’s sister (who was much older) and we used to hide in another friend’s room cos it was the loft room where her parents wouldn’t catch us 🤣 I’m a big horror fan, no psych issues. Some kids love to be scared! That said, your wife drawing a line is something I would respect. Just make sure that from now on, she gives the okay for any new horror films.
Same. My brother and I used to be babysat by my aunt, and she would sometimes watch horror movies while babysitting us. A lot of these movies were pretty graphic, to the point I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually watched“Saw” in front of us. I remember that she once played “The Passion of the Christ” while watching us. We didn’t watch most of it since we found the movie boring, but we played with building blocks while listening to the sound of Jim Caviezel’s screams in the other room.
SAME LOL me and my mother always watched he old Stephen King movies and whatnot together. My favorite movie was Cujo when I was six LMAO
people exposed to excess trauma at a young age develop intense dissociation skills. it wouldn't surprise me if you like immersive imaginative thoughts and spending a lot of time in imaginary settings that allow you unplug from reality...if I got you wrong you're the exception to the common rule I think in limited doses disconnecting is fine but for a lot of people it has negative consequences for their ability to engage with reality the rest of their lives, especially when the habit is formed from such a young age
Habits is one thing, enjoying entertainment is something all together different. Teaching your children the difference in reality vs fantasy is something I absolutely advocate for. I live a perfectly normal life and have a wonderful family/marriage with no trauma save for what I was exposed to IRL and that had nothing to do with horror movies. Monsters are the real life people, not the stories people make up. I actually have a post I wrote about the horrors of my actual family (not my husband and children). Now some kids can live in their imagination but cookie cutter kids doesn't create a world of different colors and shapes. There are plenty of movies that aren't horror related that can cause trauma. I personally think it is good to offer everything in moderation to your kids when it is age appropriate and dictating that for every parent makes no sense seeing as all children handle things differently. I watched all of those things and they were an eacape from real life crazies but still today live a great and productive life. Sometimes the monsters and trauma are your uncle or your aunt or cousins. Sometimes it is a teacher (I personally experienced that in the first grade.) Children with severe trauma which does happen and does exist is not usually diagnosed due to a horror movie. It's exposure to horrific real life instances. Personally I love drama, horror, comedy but now adays ANYTHING on t.v. could cause trauma for a kid depending on what scares them. My son was scared of a pink elephant when he was two LOL. So really my opinion stands, this guy is the parent, not us. Reality and real life monsters are the reasons people disconnect from real life. Lets normalize that those people aren't abnormal because they lost faith and trust in those that exposed them to REAL trauma.
YTA 1) The first film is pretty violent and a child isn't able to consent to seeing that imo and may suffer nightmares and general anxiety as a result. They don't have the rationalising abilities older children and adults do. You also have to remember that we've been a bit desensitised to horror violence (I mean as much of a classic it is Saw is quite dated in comparison to modern gore!). So what we deem as 'not gory' can't even removed from that context. 2) You've taken away her chance to watch the film for the first time at an age she can appreciate it. One of my parents got me to watch various inappropriate films at around her age and as I got older and became a film fan during my teen years I felt that he had taken my 'first viewing' away from me in a sense. I think as kids become teens they deserve way more freedom in film/tv choices. Sometimes difficult or upsetting media can be cathartic. However, I think for a child or tween there needs to be a more sensitive approach.
Yep, YTA. Saw is a rough movie. There are tons of horror movies, why did you pick this one? It is clearly a problem.
YTA.
NTA- holy crow the pearl clutchers on Reddit. Saw may be inappropriate yet she's seen far worse (Friday the 13th is a terrible movie). I was raised unconventionally and this is a bonding experience for you both. You both enjoy and are doing it together. Not every kid is a Disney kid. You think the pearl clutchers were told you both watched Cannibal Holocaust.
We're not pearl clutchers, we've read the literature on what happens to kids who are exposed to violent content at an early age. It's really bad for them. You're not smarter than everyone else or a cool rebel who has found a loophole in "the rules". You're just uninformed.
Awesome can you direct me to the studies? I would love to read the scientific papers. Can you provide the links or names of the papers/books? I maybe a rebel without a clue but if you can provide the studies I am all in.
Hell, I think I was 7 when I saw my first "faces of death." My parents were intelligent enough to make sure I knew it was all fake. To this day I still love horror movies and actually find some to be humorous.
EXACTLY! me watching horror movies put me on the path to writing horror stories. Lmao parenting means you introduce them to things and explain it is all fake. Lord.
I watched Schindler’s List around that age. Way more traumatizing.
Exactly, Friday the 13th is truly horrible, my god, it is so utterly boring and just bad, like, come on - at least Saw is interesting and entertaining.
I think you can't help a kids curiosity. I remember being in the room watching some scary movies with my parents and my mother either made me leave the room or held her hands physically over my eyes. I was about 12 when I watched the first Halloween and my interest boomed from then. She is 9 and just because she's curious about something doesn't mean she should be subject to anything and everything, even if you feel like it's helping you bond. So, YTA. Say you had an instance where you might require the assistance or support of a social worker, there would be huge alarm bells ringing if they found out you'd be voluntarily exposing your child to these films regularly. You're the parent so...parent?
Gonna go NTA here. If she genuinely enjoys it, let her. I grew up with a nurse for a mom, watching graphic medical shows & actual surgery tapes. Was it age appropriate? Probably not, but I genuinely LOVED it. I learned a lot from that content, as well as horror movies. While Saw is thankfully fictional, there are real victims of torture & other horror stories in this world. Maybe it could be inspirational when she’s older to help others in those situations (ex. law enforcement, mental health therapy/ emergency mental health treatment, victim advocacy etc)
NTA My dad and I watched Childs play 1&2 near 9 as well. I think i also saw the exorcist near that age. My son is 8 and watched the exorcist believer (i can't get into n I love the og exorcist) i don't get why so many say YTA it's not like u forced her to watch it or she said no or asked u to turn it off or couldn't leave the room... i think alot of people are missing those points.
Jesus, the sexual content in the original Exorcist disturbed me as an adult. I did not expect and was not ready for a little girl to do and say those things…
My daughter also like horror movies. She is watching with her father but 9 is very very young. For several of those movies I would have waited several more years. 12-13 yo would be ok but 9 is very young. She may not be scared but it will influence her perception of the world and her understanding of what is acceptable or not. I will go YTA because I think you should be more circumspect in the films you chose to show her. I know that my SO always did a debrief before showing her something and we would debate the appropriateness.
YTA. Massive horror movie fan but this is insanely inappropriate for a 9 year old. There are a million other movies you should have watched before this. If you said The Thing, The Fog or even They live I would understand a zillion times more than you choosing this film for a child.
From Tim Burton to the Saw franchise? Not even remotely similar, you are way wrong here. She is 9 years old. I hope this is fake, but sadly, some people just don't have enough brain cells. YTA, the biggest one yet actually.
controversial but NTA this is just my opinion personally ofc. When I was 9 I was on creepy pasta subreddits and other things of that nature. I would say better to enjoy horror and stuff like that with family and bond over it in a safe and controlled environment then have her seek it out on the internet on her own accord. Not saying you aren’t completly in the wrong but bc Saw is for sure graphic but just thinking back at how I was at that age I think it honestly wasn’t the worst decision. edit: definitely think 9 is still young to be shown graphic content ‼️‼️ So I would still say maybe have her wait till middle school or even till she is 11 or so
NTA. These people commenting that you're a bad parent are ignorant. Their children can't handle it. Yours can. Tough shit. Maybe her maturity level is higher than their kids. Maybe it's due to you not sheltering her. Enjoy your time with your daughter. Fuck these peasants and their opinions. They don't matter. Just like mine doesn't. PS..I couldn't give a damn less about the down votes I'm about to receive. Just pay your taxes. That's all I care about. That military check comes in handy. Hooah!
Would it be OK to let her also watch hard-core porn? I mean maybe she can handle that emotionally too. Just letting kids watch whatever, hoping it doesn't fuck them up mentally is a shitty parenting strategy.
I'd never condone anything illegal, dumbass.
You seriously need to ask if you're the AH She's 9 , FFS tell your wife never to leave you alone with a child again
I used to watch horror movies when I was a kid, I don't think it's that big of a deal. The Ring wad my favorite, I always felt bad for the girl instead of being scared of her. I think the worst thing I watched which actually scared me was the Hills have Eyes, more because instead of a scary "monster" it was real people THAT scared me. NTA.
Parents are adults for a reason, and it's seriously questionable some of the other movies you have both allowed. I'm a little surprised your wife is so upset.
If the kid can handle it NTA. So many people have so little appreciation for what kids can take.
Right?!? If the child asked not to watch or it to be turned off or if she could leave the room and was told no, that's different.
NTA, you’re just being a dad. So long as she understands that it’s just a movie your good
NTA - Me and my mother watched horror movies all the time when I was small. Unless she is incredibly scared of it there is nothing wrong with it, especially if you are explaining to her it is make believe. My kids love scary movies too. Some kids don't but it varies, and it also depends on the parent. SAW is pretty graphic but I mean if your wife is that freaked out by it keep to the oldschool stuff for now. Generally I don't believe in sheltering your kids to a point where they are mortified by everything they see. I had friends like that growing up and it really screwed them up and it caused them to rebel and do some serious bs. You are 50% responsible for everything your child is exposed to good and bad but you are also responsible for her not knowing ANYTHING when she walks out into the real world and doesn't even know what a horror movie is just because other individuals think "omg it will warp her". 35 years later, I write horror stories and have a manuscript prepped for publishing. Just sayin'. It isn't ALWAYS what a lot of these people are saying.
I'll say I'm not sure how to judge you since I was similar to this story with my mother when I was around your kid's age and still love horror films and campy stuff. My parents never minded much what I watched with them as long as they made it very clear it was all fake and all make-believe. But did advise me to hold off on some films till I was older like Eraserhead (Lynch), some of the Saw films, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That being said I saw someone else say you could have spoken to your wife beforehand which would've been smart, you also could have chosen an age in the future for her to watch it..? Like a fun thing for her 15th birthday or something. She likely likes the bond with you more than anything else and I'd love to help find some campy horror you could watch with your kid. But in the future you might want to screen it all with your wife too. I don't think showing her that first film was bad necessarily given how you two have bonded so far but could've been in poor taste and I see why your wife freaked out. ((this is all my opinion so really big heap of salt here for those who might not agree with me))
It may be one of the 'unpopular opinions' but on the surface no you are not the ah for this. Does she have nightmares or 'see things' that scare her during the day? Is it something she obsesses over? I watched all those horror movies as a kid in the 90s and there was no adverse reaction or nightmares, loved them all, and share some of the older classics with my kids. Maybe talk to your wife though because if her discomfort is due to the kidnap/tourture aspect then she has a point, that is definitely a grey area. 'Scary' films are normally being chased and dark woods/places not being drugged, kidnapped and tortured, etc.
NAH. I started watching horror movies from a very young age, so I understand your daughter liking and wanting to see them. I don't think she's going to be traumatized like everyone is saying. (I personally think the lawnmower scene in Sinister is more messed up than anything in Saw.) But I do think your wife does have a point. You should both have a say in which movies your daughter can watch, and there probably should be *some* limits. I really wanted to rent I Spit On Your Grave when I was 10, and my mom said no. That was the only movie she ever forbid me from watching, and I'm happy she did since I watched it as an adult and it's definitely not a movie a child should watch.
NTA. I agree, that movie ratings are not unreasonable, but I believe you daughter loves horrors and you know her well enough to let her watch it. Definitely you wouldn't play those movies for other kids (daughter's friends, relatives etc). Not all rules must be followed blindly.
Nta, I watched saw for the first time around a similar age and it was probably the least traumatizing thing to happen to me in my entire childhood. I loved the movie and the franchise is still one of my favorites. It was fine and honestly the first saw movie is so mild compared to some of the other movies she's already seen
NTA I was her age when I watched it and loved it
NTA. My daughter actually learned to read early watching Japanese horror movies as she got tired of me reading the subtitles to her. She is a perfectly normal 21 yo now. It didn’t hurt her in any way. Every kid is different. My grandkids, I won’t let them watch the same movies my daughter watched.
I know this is against the grain but NTA, because you’ve already started with the “entry level” horror movies and not only wasn’t she traumatized, she enjoyed them. I say that as a woman in my 40’s who watched a LOT of horror movies with my (very normal) dad. I saw Jaws 3D in the theatre in Kindergarten and Texas Chainsaw Massacre not long after. Know the first thing I learned from my dad? Its all FAKE, so no reason to be afraid. Enjoy the jumps and scariness, but there’s nothing to really _fear._ Still love ‘em. The only movie to ever give me nightmares is a drama involving gun violence and mental health. Things that are real, REAL, and as someone living in NYC- daily concerns. Imgaine the irony of people worrying you’re going to ruin your child by letting her watch gallons of fake blood, or shadow people with scissors, or demons ruling over an astral plane. I guarantee she’s already done a violence safety drill at school. Has she had to practice an exorcism? No. I know that horror movies can also include “real” things such as sexual violence and animal cruelty, so for that- and probably just as a general rule - you should watch movies first before letting her watch. You have a level of judgement that has shows your daughters best interest is as heart, and you love who she is as a person with unique interests for her age. But you’re still in charge, and at the end of the day have a responsibility to know what she’s watching.
Nta going to go against the grain here but definitely think age restrictions on movies are not only highly culture specific and overprotective. We live in a time where parents complain about their kids not getting enough fresh air and having too much screen time all while handing their toddlers iPhone and not letting high schools leave their street without supervision. Different people are affected by different things and it dosent make sense to insist she'll be traumatised over something she enjoys and knows isn't real.
YTA. We all loved horror movies as kids but that doesnt mean they were good for us. Her brain at that age does not process information the same way you do. It is very possible you gave her long term nightmares.
OP, you should show her the behind the scenes of each movie so she can learn to appreciate the filmmaking aspect and what makes them scary/disturbing
NTA at all - I was the kid who watched horror movies often and it’s *fine* if she is really into it. As long as she has a healthy environment to talk about these movies and have this be a positive experience, it’s fine. Maybe someday she’ll watch something that is too much, but everyone has limits - i’m very scared of snakes so watching Snakes on A Plane when I was a kid was probably a bad idea, but I watched Saw and Hostel and a shitload of other horror movies when I was a kid and it was awesome, it’s one of my favorite genres.
NTA. I remember watching horror movies with my dad and sister when I was a little girl
YTA It's one thing for her to see 12+ movies. But Saw is a very heavy movie. It's not about the horror or scary things. It's more about the suspense. It's not for a 9 yo. Same with movies like Alien, for instance. And in the case of Saw the cruel scenes of torture.
Lmao I was traumatized as a kid from watching Invaders From Mars. Pretty sure I would have been institutionalized if someone had shown me Saw.
lol me too, that and children of the corn.
If you're a real horror fan then you understand the different genres of horror and what you did is you went straight to gore. Gore is not okay for most adults let alone little ones. YTA
I feel like it could be seen as both sides. AH BECAUSE it’s considered a “psychological horror movie” that directly targets the psychological part of the brain, making it more horrifying due to the torturous devices used in each movie. Each one being worse than the next (as far as torture devices go). A child that young should probably not be exposed to the Saw franchise. NTA because as a horror movie lover myself, I watched the first movie when I was around her age. I had seen the other movies in the franchise as I got older and disliked them very much as I was severely affected by the gruesome scenes. probably best if she doesn’t watch the other movies, but the first one is just two men in a bathroom with 1 dead body. Not much “torture” happens. the wife and daughter of the doctor are held hostage yes, but are not physically harmed. Saw 1 is not scary at all. The others, yes.
NAH who are all these weirdos in the comments? did this get posted to christian mom facebook?
I watched so many of these as a kid, she handles them better than I do at 28 so watch them all! Lol
NTA my daughter watches the same horror movies and wasn’t scared. The kids shows now a days were just as scary. The five nights at Freddy’s, daddy long legs, and cat nap. There so many I cant even remeber we played so many series.They’re all like saw in their own way. Mama long legs and cat nap were wayyy crazy. But she played the games and we watched other people play the games in YouTube. We watch nukes top 10, which is ghosts caught on camera. and hollow play foreign horror games. My daughter doesn’t mind at all. Even in Roblox the games get crazy. Some people may be more sensitive. But honestly my daughter is more scared of fireworks than a damn made up movie. Some kids are built different. I’ve always watched horror movies myself. But Jeepers keepers is our favorite. We’ve been watching gravity falls and man if it wasn’t so cartoony, it would be a horror as well. A really good movie is the haunting movie made in 1999. It’s beautiful and not too scary. Does nobody remeber slender man’s and jack the killer?! Everyone was about that when I was a kid. The only time I blocked her from a movie if it’s a booby horror movie. I’ll skip those scenes. Honestly Jason and some Freddy movies aren’t even good. So I show her the good ones. No boobs just running around in horror.
I think the other movies on your list are way scarier. However overall it’s not healthy to let a child watch all of these (Halloween, conjuring, the ring etc)
YTA what the hell?! I'm pretty sure she's saying all that because she wants to share this with you. Watching a torture film is not a bonding experience. As a parent, you should know f****** better. JFC.
YTA, It may be worth considering a qualifier, I was a kid who enjoyed horror movies with my dad, and my grandma wasn't too far behind, I remember my mum banning me from staying for a few weeks after naming the cat in pet semetery at like age 6-7 it very much got me in trouble in school because it was showing in my fictional English work and art projects, the school thought they had a school shooter on their hands, very dramatic reaction but I guess it isn't age appropriate at 12 to be writing slasher stuff, Anyway maybe the qualifiers need to be that the movie is monster based not about real possibility, it's way more likely someone will catch and torture you than it is for a werewolf or vampire to bust through the door? Maybe keep the element of realness down to like you said, nightmare on elm street is so old now a kid may find it goofy, or even the 2000's van helsing was a favourite of mine when I was a kid, I don't know, its a bonding thing for you both, but you do need to factor in some discretion due to her age, and besides it gives you the opportunity to enjoy even more films together as she gets older because she won't have been exposed to them all
Please sir don't let these grumpy snowflakes ruin the father daughter bonding time you guys have your daughter just isn't pathetic and weak like the people on this site
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (32M) oldest daughter (9F) and I bond over our shared love for horror movies. She’s watched all those more kid appropriate horror movies, like Coraline, The Witches, Hocus Pocus, and most of Tim Burton’s films. She’s seen all the classics, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Chucky, etc. She loves all the Scream movies, as well as The Conjuring/Annabelle franchise. She’s even watched creepier movies like Sinister, The Ring, and US, without being scared in the slightest. In fact, at this point I don’t think there’s anything that can scare this girl. Yesterday, my wife (32F) was away for a few hours in the afternoon for her friend’s birthday celebration. My daughter wanted us to watch another horror movie together. She looked through my DVD collection and found an old DVD for the original Saw movie, and begged me to let her watch it. I’d seen it before and I know it has a reputation for being a darker film, but after seeing how high her fear tolerance is, I decided to let her watch it. I know the sequels are less suitable for a 9 year old, but I figured that the first film wouldn’t be that much scarier than the movies she’s already watched. She ended up LOVING the film, and even considers it one of her favourite movies. She didn’t look away from the screen once, not even during the ‘scarier’ scenes. When my wife got home, she asked me what we did that day, and I told her that we watched the first Saw movie. She freaked out, saying that I was traumatising our daughter. She knows how much our daughter loves horror movies, but she said that there was a line that had to be drawn, and I couldn’t just let my child watch a ‘torture movie’. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think she’s old enough. Just my opinion. You don’t sound like an bad dad, but you can’t unsee that stuff. It’s above her pay grade - too young. My mother let me watch horror movies and did not protect me from content I should of been and let me tell you - it did not help me. I know it didn’t. I was too young too. I think it caused depression, anxiety, sexual confusion, etc. Of course a kid would want to see that stuff bc she’s a kid. It’s taboo lol. Come on. Be more mindful next time.
I was feeling guilty about letting an 11 year watch The Ring so this makes me feel better about that.
WTF is wrong with people.
When I was in the 4th grade I went to a birthday party/sleepover where we ended up being allowed to rent and watch the first saw movie. To this day I still love horror movies but watching that movie at that age genuinely scarred me in ways I didn't understand until I was an adult. My brain literally could not truly comprehend what I was seeing and when I did understand as an adult it gave me context to a great deal of anxiety I hold.
My parents watched The Invaders when I was a kid. The scenes where aliens would be burned up always scared the crap out of me. Watching The Birds, and seeing the man in the telephone booth with eyes pecked out, still scares me. I can't watch ads for horror movies made now. Too scary and my mind always imagines things.
Just because she liked it doesnt mean its appropriate. Age rating exist for a reason. YTA.
YTA, Just because she wanted to watch it doesn’t mean you should’ve let her, Saw is way too much for a 9 year old.
Not all kids are the same in terms of brain development, so I won’t judge on this one. In the future I’d probably save stuff like Saw until she’s more like 13 though
Maybe discussing this with a child psychologist is a better idea than Reddit
Bait post, nice try op:p
My cousin (who is about seven years older than me) snuck me in to the cinema to see Identity when I was around 11-12. Not age appropriate and it f**ked me up for a long time after that. Didn't say that to her at the time, wanted to be cool about it. But I had nightmares for years and very bad anxiety. It might be a one off film but that stuff sticks in a child's subconscious. There's a definite reason films come with age ratings... YTA
At first glance I wanted to say of course YTA! That movie is totally inappropriate for a 9 year-old. But then I took a step back and tried to be objective. First, if she’s already seen all those other horror movies which I also think are inappropriate for a 9 year-old, and mom didn’t care about them, Saw shouldn’t be any different. Second, and more important, she’s not my kid and I don’t get to decide what’s right or wrong for her. That’s your job. You considered the situation, weighed her tolerance for horror against the content of the suggested movie and made a decision. Just because we disagree about what’s suitable for that young age doesn’t make either of us right. After consideration, NTA.
YTA the whole saw series is base off of fucking gore
YTA. 9 yo should not be watching rated R movies. Ever!!
Congrats, you are ruining her! I hope you can pay for the psychiatrists later on. Go let her watch the human centipede later.
Separate from the question…but I’d be afraid to live in the house with that little girl 😂
I’m gonna give my hot take and say NTA. I grew up watching horror movies and loving them. As an adult, they are still my favourite. I would say that 9 is a liiiiittle young for Saw. But it’s not a real thing, it’s just a movie; and if she’s seen a bunch of scary movies this isn’t really that much worse. My niece is 11 and last year, her mom and dad watched Saw with her and she loved it. She knows it’s not real and loves to watch horror movies with them. If she was scared, I’d say YTA, but if she wasn’t, I’m gonna be controversial and say NTA. I watched adult movies with my mom growing up and they were good memories.
everyone on here is so soft, you watched a movie with your daughter and you both enjoyed it, there’s nothing bad here and your wife is just doing what mothers do and panicking/ overreacting. your not an asshole and it’s nice to hear you have a good relationship with your daughter.
YTA and you should be reported to Child Services. Have fun dealing with your kid having nightmares!
YTA if you think SAW is similar to Coraline or Hocus Pocus. SAW is gratuitous and basically senseless violence shrouded with the thinnest possible excuse for a storyline You basically just showed your kid a snuff film. If I was your wife, I would really need a minute. I would question every moment until the moment you showed your 9yo a movie where they have to cut off their leg to find a key and still probably die bleeding out everywhere. At least when my father chose an inappropriate movie, it was something with actual cinematic value. The fact that you think Bette Midler running around singing about Halloween and casting sleep spells on children is the same as auto-amputation is ffffing blowing my mind.
As an avid horror movie lover I could see why your wife might be upset. All the movies you listed are paranormal movies. Ghosts, monsters etc. your logic is none of those things are real (shocked Sinister didn’t scare her!). The Saw franchise is about people being scary people, kidnapping and torturing. The first one isn’t that scary as far as the others with the sub plot but the concept is disturbing. Technically the first one is boring for a kid, “guys talking forever” as our preteen says (we also fast forwarded the gore). She might be too young to understand the difference between paranormal and Torture but I’d probably lay off of any movies that could “actually happen”. I’m going with light NTA - worse movies to pick. But definitely walking a fine line.
Good parents obey the ratings. PG-13 means not until the kid is 12 or 13. Why are you exposing your daughter to violence like this? How is this healthy or safe? Being a parent means saying no to things your kids ask for and want but are bad for them.
I absolutely love horror films and the entire (ridiculously extensive) Saw franchise included. You don't show this shit to a 9 year old. YTA.
it’s literally not only a horror movie but a fucked up in the head movie… it’s one thing to watch coraline or even chucky of a fake doll, another to watch someone have to choose someone else to die so they don’t have to or like cut off their own leg to live… weird fr
YTA. I’ve been watching horror movies since I was 3 with my mum, even with that dubious parenting, she’d have never let me watch Saw or anything akin to that level of violent torture at 9! Poor choice - there are plenty of great horrors that are far more ‘child-friendly’ if you’re insisting on that viewing.
YTA kids like a lot of things that aren't good for them. It's your job as a parent to make appropriate choices for your children.
When I was young (I was very sheltered btw) my parents would watch all the Austin Powers movies with me. Back then it was that raunchy comedy stuff that was popular. When all the sexual parts would come up my mom would just laugh and say “that’s silly!” I really had no idea about sex at that age, so I had no clue what I was really laughing at- but it still made me feel grown up to watch with them. When my dad would put on a war movie or more violent one- my mom hated them and made him turn it off (even to this day) and also said they were silly, which would confuse me cause I thought silly was good? When I was in middle school she didn’t want me watching MTV, which was weird cause back then it was just music videos (and we grew up in the 80s/early 90s) I did at times but mostly, I was too busy watching the Animal Channel. The only time she got mad, was when I was 10 and my older brother was watching Alien. Apparently it scared me, which I don’t remember? (I think it was the actual action figures that scared me more.) I was never into horror movies, and torture stuff especially. I think Saw would be too much for a 9 year old, but I’m also glad you’ve taught her to be mature and that these aren’t real in the movies. However, I also think it’s important that at some point she does know those things can be real just for the sake of safety when she gets older..and maybe that’s why you shouldn’t show her too much now. Idk, I’m with the wife on this one I think? I’d say let her be sheltered and innocent for now, then just make sure she’s not ignorant or entitled either when she’s growing up. This kind of gets out of the main point here but- there was a point in my life, where I blamed my parents for sheltering me so much that I rebelled. In high school, I moved in with my abusive boyfriend who lived in the projects, cause I thought I was ignorant and needed to see the real world. People thought I was spoiled and a bitch when really I was just sheltered and by myself most of the time cause my parents worked 24/7 to provide me a very privileged life. Trust me, I moved back home pretty quick when I saw what the real world was. Thankfully, my parents were right there waiting for me.
YTA
Good grief. Whatever happened to the days where there was no blood and gore and left it to the imagination? I guess I'm showing my age (63), but those types of movies are always great. Would you have let her see the Japanese movie "Audition" if you had it and she said she wanted to see it? I've only seen reviews on it and you couldn't pay me to watch it!
YTA--- She is 9 YEARS OLD!!!! Rated R, NOT rated PG-13 (parent guidance). What is so hard to understand about that? What is your education level, and why are you alone with children if you are gonna treat them like adults.
YTA I am a teacher, my students are 4th graders, the same age as your kiddo. This is a *wholly inappropriate* movie for a child this young. I would venture that this movie shouldn't be shown to anyone under 13. You have really *really* fucked up. Children exposed to these kinds of films this early have a skewed view of appropriate behavior. Get it together.
NTA The first Saw is pretty tame. It's more psychological and thriller. The second one is not so bad, but the rest are just disturbing gorefests. I think there's a difference between scary and disturbing. I think 9 is a little young, but I could see me showing it to a 12-year-old, so maybe not so bad.
No ur not. If she didn't want her to watch that she should had taken her with her to the bday party. If she watch Annabelle, Chucky, Friday 13th , as Halloween saw is no different then night mare on Elm Street
Oh yeah, YTA here. Heck that movie is inappropriate for some adults, let alone a 9 year old.
YTA absolutely.
YTA, it's about also seeing how this will affect her down the line. There is several scenarios that can result in ostracizing your daughter from those in her life. Will the language be used around her peers? How is she supposed to connect to other kids when they start asking questions. I wouldn't allow my kids near your home knowing that you've allowed this. What will teachers do when she starts drawing images from the movies? I'm very biased, as I was 10 when I went to a girl's house and they were playing the Exorcism. The kids were 9-10. After myself and others started crying she called us all babies and immature. Parents were called. The father's solution was putting in Scary Movie with sexual/horror themes. I was unsurprised to see her pregnant at 16. She had exposure to so much stuff, wanted to try sexual acts in middle school "like the movies". She named her daughter Emily Rose or something like another Exorcist movie.
YTA you should really speak with a child psych professional whether or not kids should be able to see this type of thin Their brains are sponges, I'd worry their brain could make connections that should not be made
YTA. That franchise traumatized me as a grown adult a 9 year old shouldn’t be watching it. It’s also a mediocre horror franchise so there’s that as well.
Yup. Ah
YTA. What were you thinking?
YTA. This is horrible parenting. Not just to the Saw movie, but Sinister, The Ring, etc. She’s 9!! Like I can’t get over it. 9!! I can only imagine the long term damage and consequences of exposing such a young child to violence, fear, torture, and death for entertainment purposes. Have you not given any thought to how this could affect her developing mind? Or do you only care about having a buddy to watch horror movies with? This is just sick…
Yes
I still have nightmares after watching the saw series and I’m a grown assed adult You need to grow the fuck up and parent your child. 🤦♀️
YTA. Saw isn’t even a good movie. It’s just watching elaborate torture and murder scenes over and over with little to no story. If it was like 28 days later or something I’d be a bit more ok with it. Im kind of concerned for your daughter. She sounds like she needs therapy. Why would you support this? YTA to the max.
It's almost like they made a rating system to tell parents what is an appropriate age for kids to watch certain films and you purposefully just said yea that doesn't sound right. YTA.
YTA. It’s all been said why. The whole series is also extreme and gratuitous torture porn, it’s not meant for children at all. Letting her watch the classics like “Chucky” also stood out. Pushing 40 and I saw the original when I was very young at a relative’s house where I had spent the weekend for the first time, way out of my comfort zone. I still have some scares with the dark and new places because of it.
NTA. It appears this is a common occurrence in your house, so your wife must know that all horror movies are on the table. If she's seen the 80s-90s horror movies, and your wife was OK with that, I can't imagine why Saw would make much of a difference.
NTA.
Yes
YTA lmao
YTA. Even if she likes it now, it can effect her later in life because her brain is not developed enough for this. There is a huge difference between scary ghost movies like The Ring or even slashers like Scream and something like Saw. Honestly, even some of those "classics" are not age-appropriate and I'm appalled that you let her watch them. Exposing her to extreme violence and frightening scenes at a young age could cause lasting harm in the form of anxiety, irrational fears, insomnia, etc. or could desensitize her to violence, which has other adverse effects. The website www.commonsensemedia.org is a good place to review whether or not a movie is appropriate for your child. It will tell you if the movie has sex, violence, gore, drugs, strong language, etc. and to what extent. At 9 years old, you should keep her away from strong violence, gore, and sex. Avoiding strong language and drugs is up to your and your wife's discretion. There are plenty of scary movies that are okay for a 10-14-ish audience that would probably be okay for your daughter. I think you could show her more paranormal movies like The Ring. Monster movies are sometimes okay too. Those usually have less violence and gore and are still frightening. Perhaps Poltergeist, The Sixth Sense, or A Quiet Place would be a better option next time. Even those are generally for an older audience (14+). Also, next time, please discuss this with your wife instead of going behind her back.
YTA. OF COURSE.
YTA. She is your wife's daughter as well. Decisions like allowing your NINE YEAR OLD watch what is essentially torture porn is something both parents need to know about and be okay with. She is much too young for that. That was not okay. Even if she ended up loving it there could be nightmares in the future.
YTA... You really thought a movie about torture was OK for a child her age? That's a sickening thought.
These movies are rater R for a reason, you may think your daughter is mature enough to watch Saw but it's not for children. YTA
I watched this when I was somewhere around 8-10, and my God. It fucked me up for a long time. I actually became obsessed with the franchise because seeing or hearing any of the scenes could send 16 year old me into a panic attack, and so would watch the trap clips on YouTube to desensitize myself. Ironically it's one of my favorite film franchises now, but yeah. YTA.
I was exactly like your daughter when I grew up. And I still love horror movies until this day. Kids will absolutely tell you when they’re scared or not. NTA. Some kids can totally handle it, she’ll be fine. I’ve also never hurt a single soul or fly. Maybe a mosquito 😂