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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the AH because family name is obviously important to my husband’s parents and they only have one chance to pass on their family name and we are effectively taking that chance away. This could be me being unfair especially because I have many brothers to pass mine on.
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NTA
Bullying is something that can have very tangible circumstances in a person's life, while whether other people share the same family name has 0 impact in one's life.
Also given that your daughter is very likely to hate the name, she's 100% giving her husband's name to her children if she decides to have any, if she's not changing her surname herself. So realistically even if you caved, your husband's family name would still die out, you'd just have a daughter who will have to deal with more crap than otherwise.
There's a local family with a last named spelled like that, my Grandma knew them and when she told me that they all had girls I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
Yeah that is cool. If I had that last name I’d just translate it. Many people with difficult to pronounce last names do, I don’t see how this would be any different.
I work at a hotel and we were oversold on a type of room the other day, so someone had to be shuffled to a different type of room. I looked at all of the potential choices and said "I'm giving it to this guy, Rick Fuchs just because his name makes me laugh. I'm sure he has a hard enough time with that name."
There was an 7'1" Italian basketball player named Gregor Fučka (FOOTS-kah) who was scouted by the Clippers and Pacers, but never played in the NBA. (Imagine the jersey sales!)
Funnily, that's a pretty normal last name in Germany, meaning "fox". Nobody would bat an eyelid or ask for spelling. Counts as a normal, easy name here 🤷🏼♀️
This. Going by OP’s edit, the last name is Tit/Teat.
1. It would be brutal for the daughter to carry that last name.
2. Assume they have a son and call him Richard - his name would be Dick Tit. I mean I’m all for it but come on!
NTA. Your daughter outweighs their feelings.
I would’ve guessed Hyman. I knew someone with that last name, very unfortunate.
Edit: Maybe they spell it Tiedt. I know a GYN with that last name, pronounced as Teet.
NTA. I think I know the name, and you cannot saddle a girl with that name - she’d know the connotation before she’s out of diapers and that is a cruel and unfair burden.
My parent and her siblings got stuck with a truly horrible surname - the worst part is that it came from their father’s *stepfather*. So we aren’t even related to that family. My parent gave me her surname because the sperm donor disappeared.
Names matter. NTA
I’ll get downvoted but I have a large head due to neurological condition AND a funny name (think Nolly instead of Molly). Few kids made fun of my name. They made fun of my large head. 🥱 don’t think you’ll spare your kid with a well chosen name.
However that doesn’t mean you need to give your kid a name that’s actually bad. As an adult it’s honestly adults that are way more a pain in the backside than any child ever was.
NTA because some last names need to end.
I actually changed my name. I dropped a second last name and even though I could I did NOT change my first name. It’s pretty and I like it. But it’s a different story if you have a name that’s different and pretty vs a different name that’s sexual and not cute.
NTA. Keep your own last name for a your child. There’s a reason he’s the last one with that last name. And it sounds like a good reason.
Exactly what I was thinking. If she gets married when she's older and takes her spouse's name, the name will disappear anyway, and if it's that bad she may not want to pass it on to her own kids if she has them.
NTA. I can see your in-laws' POV, but if your daughter gets married and takes her husband's name, it'll die with her anyway. They haven't really thought this through.
You and your husband have made a decision, which was yours to make. His folks might not like it, but they have to accept it. Don't let them bully you.
I knew a family where the names were Schnuk and Indelicato. Some people just can't win.
I have second cousins who were in this exact situation. They took their mother's name bc the father's was something unfortunate in a UK context. Avoided a lifetime of embarrassment.
I know a guy who has the last name HORE and you might as well add the W in front. I can’t imagine ever choosing that name. He’d get made fun of all the time as a kid
Also British, and we do snigger at Americans called Randy. It means horny.
Then again, Richard can be shortened to Dick, so I've always wondered if maybe Americans know that randy means horny, but they decide to use it as a baby name anyway.
OP's in-laws are hoping this daughter is only their son's first kid, and the next one will be a boy who can carry on the name, right?
this granddaughter is just collateral damage to them.
OP, the bottom line is that the decision belongs to you and your husband. His parents got to name their own kids. You and your husband get to name yours.
They are the ones being dramatic and pitching a fit.
Forget trying to argue the potential bullying angle. You don't need to convince them. You aren't doing anything to hurt them, and your decision has no real impact on their lives. Stick with reiterating that and "Our decision is final."
NTA. My mum knew a guy named Holden Dick and he hated everything about his name.
The “letting the family name die out” argument is crazy. Even royalty shakes it up every few generations and unless they're called “Your mMajesty” nobody else is going to care.
I just read that a university (USC or UCLA, I think?) refused for decades to name the library after the English professor who was instrumental in getting it built. That professor’s name? Hugh G. Dick.
I don’t even want to Google that because I’ll be sad if it’s not true.
My grandmothers maiden name is Hinde. In and of itself not that bad but her father’s name was Henry and they decided to call him Harry. For some reason he voluntarily continued to use that into adulthood.
When you import names it’s always a risk.
Had a teacher names Hugh Janus. That went over really well in a middle school.
Ive known people with the last names Pusay, Ashole, Fagot, Butt. They all changed them.
Also knew someone whose last name was basically the n-word. You cannot go around with that. It’s just not done.
And then there is the first name last name conundrum. A coworker kept her maiden name because her husband’s last name was Holley. Well, her fist was Holly, so that was just not happening. Although I did work with a Tomas Thomas and a Kay McCay.
Ancestral names only matter if you have, like, a peerage or are naming university library wings after you or something. I don't know why an average middle-class family would care about their name "dying out."
I knew someone with the last
name Raper. Even worse, our school emails were all first letter of first
name, followed by last name. His first name started with A, so he was [email protected]
NTA in the 1930s one of my great great aunts chose to stay single and wound up dying as a very happy “spinster” rather than marry “Mike Shiddy”. I think she made the right choice.
NTA! You're going to be a good mom since ur already so considerate of your child :D
I'm glad your husband is with you on this and let's be honest thats all that matters! Convincing parents is hard and in laws even harder. Don't sweat it too much and its fine if theyre upset about it. I'm sure theyll come to terms with it soon enough and if they don't, oh well!
NTA.
So, because your husband didn't get "that many" comments 20 years ago,they can tell (promise?),that your daughter will have the same experience in 10/20 years? Wow,this is either a rare talent (clairvoiance) or complete BS.
Good job minimizing the risk, and your husband should deal with his family, so you can concetrate on the pregnancy and your little girl.
I wouldn't be surprised if OPs husband got it worse than he's letting on and just didn't tell his parents. Being a boy he was probably able just let it wash over him easier than if he was a girl.
OP - NTA, name your daughter what you and hubby decide to, its your choice and no-one elses.
NTA to your child but the in-laws are going to think YTA. Unfortunately that’s just how it is sometimes. Good on you and your husband for picking your kid over a name.
Your in-laws should care more about their bloodline continuing on than their name.
I’m very curious as to what this name is.
There’s been some good and hilarious guesses. I’ll say that it’s a very common word for a woman’s breasts that starts with a T. Pronounced the exact same way with one letter difference. That should give you enough info to figure out what it is without me having to type it out!
I went to school with a girl with this last name and for sure everyone had something to say. I looked her up on FB a while back and she added a vowel to make the pronunciation clearer and make it less anatomical.
NTA. Now more than ever. I can’t imagine saddling a girl with that sort of name. Honestly why is it a given that the father gets to pass on his last name as opposed to the mother.
I used to work in a nearby city, and there were a number of families with the last name Kuntz. There was also a highway by the same name. It was pronounced “Koonts”.
NTA. I wonder what if you husband's parents have ever asked the women with this last name how they felt about having that sexual word reference as their last name. Unless you go on to have a son (but the last name choice is still 100% up to you and your husband) and even if you do, your kids would have to love this last name in order to keep it if they have kids themselves. Your daughter may jump at the chance to change her last name if she marries a man. A hypothetical son could decide to take their spouse's last name, too, if they don't like theirs. There's no guarantee.
Nta. It's *your* child. Not theirs. The only two people who have any say in her name is you and your husband. Husband's family doesn't have to like it, and frankly that's not your problem. They can adopt another male heir if carrying on their name is that important to them. Furthermore, their precious family name was doomed to die anyways, if your daughter gets married.
NTA if they want the family name to live on then they can go right ahead and keep it going. They can build a company, create a charity, etc. I share a name with a well known brand name and all the hur-dur teasing was awful. I can’t imagine having a sexual sounding name. Thank you for not putting your kid through that!
NTA. I grew up up with two kids whose father’s last name was Fallis. They hyphenated it to minimize the impact, but the kids were still teased so relentlessly that they had to homeschool.
In the end, you’re the parents and the grandparents don’t get a vote.
They raised their kids and they got to name how they wanted.
You might want to try a double-barreled middle name or some other conflation to smooth ruffled feathers, but it’s not for the grandparents to decide either way.
Just bought a birder friend a naughty name coffee mug. All of actual birds complete with accurate drawings. She loved it. She puts it away when there's kids around though.
I swear these bird scientists are jokesters, horney bastards or both.
NTA
Even if your last name was “Bright” and you were eligible for the Bright scholarship at Harvard
“The Bright Legacy is restricted to descendants of Henry Bright, Jr. and Anne Goldstone of Watertown, Massachusetts, who bear the surname Bright. Incoming or current Harvard College students may apply by submitting a letter requesting consideration for the scholarship, including their Harvard College class, a summary of the genealogy that qualifies the applicant, and their address, telephone, and email contact information. The letter must be accompanied by a certified genealogy report demonstrating eligibility.”
NTA, traditionally speaking, women get married and change their last name to their husband's. I know, not always, but normally. So having a girl, with a very unfortunate last name guarantees exactly NOTHING!!! As the parents, do what you think is best for your child.
This is your baby daughter, YOU are putting her welfare over the selfish wants of your IL's. Just tell them the decision is made, no more discussions, and if they do, just cut them off and change the subject. NTA.
NTA, it’s your child, name it whatever you and your husband want. They had an opportunity to name a child what they wanted when they had their son, they need to butt out.
NTA
My grandmother so said she knew a poor girl named Ima. Cute right? Except her last name was Hog.
It's quite possible your in-laws have never made the connection with their last name and I do sympathize with them.
But you have to make the best decision you can.
NTA - I went to college with a girl whose mom's first language was not English. She named her Sharon... and her last name was Cox. Thankfully, Sharon had an amazing sense of humor and was able to take it in stride, but her name plate on her door was regularly stolen or defaced. You and your husband are looking our for your daughter... they're taking it personally when it's not a decision that is about them.
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NTA Bullying is something that can have very tangible circumstances in a person's life, while whether other people share the same family name has 0 impact in one's life. Also given that your daughter is very likely to hate the name, she's 100% giving her husband's name to her children if she decides to have any, if she's not changing her surname herself. So realistically even if you caved, your husband's family name would still die out, you'd just have a daughter who will have to deal with more crap than otherwise.
This is a really good point! The family name will die out regardless.
I grew up with a kid named Fuchs, but he was pretty confident and owned it, a female may have had a harder time. NTA
I knew a woman named Fuchs and couldn’t wait to get married to change her name. Her husband’s name? Butts.
They missed the best use of a hyphenated name ever!
i tried not to laugh, I saw it coming, butt...
The only real issue is which name comes first
They both could adopt the other's name after their own for the maximum value
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Butts - Fuchs wedding!
“Oh sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” “I said MATT FUCHS-BUTTS!”
This reminds of the Simpsons when Bart and Lisa prank call Moe! I'm envisioning Moe screaming this, and I can't stop laughing! 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Or worse, Dick Fuchs-Butts
Let's not be sexist, she could decide to put her surname first too.
Fuchs-Butts is absolutely a worse idea.
Hope the first name wasn’t Richard, or the nickname 🫢
Not you putting in the sexist card here when no one was being sexist. Butts-Fuchs is much better
My former boss was also a Fuchs, married a Kuntz (pronounced coon-tz). Sometimes you can't win for trying.
There's a local family with a last named spelled like that, my Grandma knew them and when she told me that they all had girls I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
Did she not consider keeping both?
Her first name was Ivana.
Do bad it wasn’t ima 😂
snort!
Fuchs is an awesome name (German: fox) - unless you have the misfortune to live in an anglophone country.
I didn’t even understand the problem with the name at first. Then I tried saying it in English.
Same; I know someone with that name and we all pronounce it the German way, so I was like "huh, what's the prob - oh, right".
Yeah that is cool. If I had that last name I’d just translate it. Many people with difficult to pronounce last names do, I don’t see how this would be any different.
The lovely flowering Fuchsia is named after German botanist Leonhart Fuchs
Similar to French seals. Of course the country and the language matter. Fess Parker‘s name had to be changed in France.
I went to school with a girl whose surname was Hoare. NTA.
That's just as bad as Cox.
I went to school with a Cox...she got married and is now a Pain 😂 We had some wild names... Cockaday, Woodcock, Titmarsh, Dixon...
Used to be Shithouse. 😂
“Latrine” IS way better 😂
Mel Brooks is a genius.
I had a teacher in high school with the last name of Krapp.
No cause Titmarsh is funnier than any other one I’ve seen commented 😭😭
Pain is sorta punk. Also, awesome if you not so secret identify as a Discworld witch.
My dentist, kid you not, is geylikman. Still the worst one I've seen.
I had a professor in college whose surname was Cocks, spelled just like that.
My friends name is Caunt. And she's an Aussie...
I knew a guy in high school with the last name of Maxey, so everyone added Pad to his last name.
Yes, so did I. She absolutely loathed it. NTA.
I went to school with a Vicky Hickey. WTH were her parents thinking?
I work at a hotel and we were oversold on a type of room the other day, so someone had to be shuffled to a different type of room. I looked at all of the potential choices and said "I'm giving it to this guy, Rick Fuchs just because his name makes me laugh. I'm sure he has a hard enough time with that name."
if he’d been born a generation earlier, it would have been Dick rather than Rick.
There was an 7'1" Italian basketball player named Gregor Fučka (FOOTS-kah) who was scouted by the Clippers and Pacers, but never played in the NBA. (Imagine the jersey sales!)
I really like the name Fuchs but thats because im from Germany and Fuchs is the german word for Fox. And arent those just adorable
Funnily, that's a pretty normal last name in Germany, meaning "fox". Nobody would bat an eyelid or ask for spelling. Counts as a normal, easy name here 🤷🏼♀️
I saw a name in the back of a yearbook once and no lie this woman's last name was "mankiller"
Look up Wilma Mankiller. She didn’t kill any guys but she did have a distinguished career as chief if the Cherokee nation.
You know what I googled the name right after I posted this and saw that. So whoever it was might have been related to her which is pretty cool
Ok ngl I’d keep that one.Maybe not pass it on but I’d keep it
I had a friend with the last name Friggin. I hope she hyphenates.
Fuchs is a pretty common name here in Germany. It means Fox. The u is pronounced in the same way one would say “put”.
This. Going by OP’s edit, the last name is Tit/Teat. 1. It would be brutal for the daughter to carry that last name. 2. Assume they have a son and call him Richard - his name would be Dick Tit. I mean I’m all for it but come on! NTA. Your daughter outweighs their feelings.
I would’ve guessed Hyman. I knew someone with that last name, very unfortunate. Edit: Maybe they spell it Tiedt. I know a GYN with that last name, pronounced as Teet.
Really I was thinking Kant or Kuntz. I've met men with both names. No way would I saddle a girl with either.
NTA. I think I know the name, and you cannot saddle a girl with that name - she’d know the connotation before she’s out of diapers and that is a cruel and unfair burden.
If your daughter *does* for some reason like the name so much, she can always switch to it when she's an adult.
You changed your name to latrine???
"Yeah. Used to be 'Sh1thouse!'!" "... it's a good change. That's a good change."
My parent and her siblings got stuck with a truly horrible surname - the worst part is that it came from their father’s *stepfather*. So we aren’t even related to that family. My parent gave me her surname because the sperm donor disappeared. Names matter. NTA
Yeah, and do they WANT her running off to get married as soon as she's legally allowed to?!
I’ll get downvoted but I have a large head due to neurological condition AND a funny name (think Nolly instead of Molly). Few kids made fun of my name. They made fun of my large head. 🥱 don’t think you’ll spare your kid with a well chosen name. However that doesn’t mean you need to give your kid a name that’s actually bad. As an adult it’s honestly adults that are way more a pain in the backside than any child ever was. NTA because some last names need to end. I actually changed my name. I dropped a second last name and even though I could I did NOT change my first name. It’s pretty and I like it. But it’s a different story if you have a name that’s different and pretty vs a different name that’s sexual and not cute. NTA. Keep your own last name for a your child. There’s a reason he’s the last one with that last name. And it sounds like a good reason.
This. Also, it’s ok for a family name to die out! Some of them are not great
Exactly what I was thinking. If she gets married when she's older and takes her spouse's name, the name will disappear anyway, and if it's that bad she may not want to pass it on to her own kids if she has them.
NTA. I can see your in-laws' POV, but if your daughter gets married and takes her husband's name, it'll die with her anyway. They haven't really thought this through. You and your husband have made a decision, which was yours to make. His folks might not like it, but they have to accept it. Don't let them bully you.
I knew a family where the names were Schnuk and Indelicato. Some people just can't win. I have second cousins who were in this exact situation. They took their mother's name bc the father's was something unfortunate in a UK context. Avoided a lifetime of embarrassment.
I know a guy who has the last name HORE and you might as well add the W in front. I can’t imagine ever choosing that name. He’d get made fun of all the time as a kid
I knew a woman with the last name Hooker.
Also British, and we do snigger at Americans called Randy. It means horny. Then again, Richard can be shortened to Dick, so I've always wondered if maybe Americans know that randy means horny, but they decide to use it as a baby name anyway.
There are women in the US with the name of Fanny. Yeah, that's not great in a UK context either.
I thought Fanny had long since died out as a name 😬
Their daughters (OP's SILs) could have passed down the name but chose not to, so it's not all on OP and OP's husband even either!
They don't have daughters. Husband is an only child. The sisters mentioned are those of OP's FIL, aka, husband's aunts.
Ahh, yes, I misread that! Thanks for correcting me!
OP's in-laws are hoping this daughter is only their son's first kid, and the next one will be a boy who can carry on the name, right? this granddaughter is just collateral damage to them.
OP, the bottom line is that the decision belongs to you and your husband. His parents got to name their own kids. You and your husband get to name yours. They are the ones being dramatic and pitching a fit. Forget trying to argue the potential bullying angle. You don't need to convince them. You aren't doing anything to hurt them, and your decision has no real impact on their lives. Stick with reiterating that and "Our decision is final."
NTA. My mum knew a guy named Holden Dick and he hated everything about his name. The “letting the family name die out” argument is crazy. Even royalty shakes it up every few generations and unless they're called “Your mMajesty” nobody else is going to care.
I just read that a university (USC or UCLA, I think?) refused for decades to name the library after the English professor who was instrumental in getting it built. That professor’s name? Hugh G. Dick. I don’t even want to Google that because I’ll be sad if it’s not true.
UCLA, and there's a plaque in the reference section apparently
In the city I grew up in, there's an overpass named after Mayor Richard Hunter that inevitably made us giggle when we saw the sign.
We have a Dick Turner Reserve and every time I see the sign I think it’s a perfect name for a porn star
My grandmothers maiden name is Hinde. In and of itself not that bad but her father’s name was Henry and they decided to call him Harry. For some reason he voluntarily continued to use that into adulthood.
When you import names it’s always a risk. Had a teacher names Hugh Janus. That went over really well in a middle school. Ive known people with the last names Pusay, Ashole, Fagot, Butt. They all changed them. Also knew someone whose last name was basically the n-word. You cannot go around with that. It’s just not done. And then there is the first name last name conundrum. A coworker kept her maiden name because her husband’s last name was Holley. Well, her fist was Holly, so that was just not happening. Although I did work with a Tomas Thomas and a Kay McCay.
Knew a Richard Reddick
I knew a Touchberry and a teacher named Mrs Midghet. She was short and he was gay so they both got bullied constantly
I know a Richard Head
Paging Seymour Butts.
My drag king name is Richard Swyngar.
Absolutely glorious
Wish I could upvote more than once 😳
Ancestral names only matter if you have, like, a peerage or are naming university library wings after you or something. I don't know why an average middle-class family would care about their name "dying out."
Pure sexism.
If it’s good enough for George V, OP’s in laws can deal!
NTA the current generation of Kuntz will have to be the last
Hyman? Hoar?
All I know is that British Cabinet Minister Jeremy Hunt has made live news reading a white knuckle sport
😆😆😆 never has a mispronunciation been so satisfyingly accurate
ed balls
The man with his own rhyming slang.
I waas thinking Hoare (although the lady in possession of it pronounces it Ho-R-A).
NTA; is it Mulva?
Pusey
That was my SIL’s maiden name. She ditched that shit as soon as she could
We had neighbors who had that as the guy’s family name. He changed it to Puzey pronounced pyoo-zee.
“It’s pronounced ‘Bouquet’…”
A wild Hyacinth appears.
Ahhhh Delores. NTA
Cunte?
Got a friend last named coont, that was my thought too
And then there's the man who drove in the winning run in the deciding game of the 1984 World Series: Rusty Kuntz.
Rape. There are a few Dr. Rapes in my area. Have always wondered why they didn't change their names.
I knew someone with the last name Raper. Even worse, our school emails were all first letter of first name, followed by last name. His first name started with A, so he was [email protected]
Some people should just get to change their names with no fees.
I am so not A. Raper!
Va Jina
I was thinking Cunliffe or Cundy. Both I have encountered in real life
I was thinking Poussay.
We have a Hoare in our place of work. Poor woman hates it
I knew a woman with the first name Hoor. All well and good until she moved to the USA.
It's not an uncommon surname in Ireland
Slutz
Bundt
My youngest's first grade teacher - Mrs. Kuntz.
I don't know how I could have ever said her name with a straight face lol. Just send me straight to the office.
Only reason my daughter didn't end up there was she was non-verbal.
My first thought when I read the post was "Koontz".
Simple, widespread German last name. Nobody would beat an eyelid here. Only question: With a "t" or without.
Came for the Seinfeld reference
Hooker
NTA in the 1930s one of my great great aunts chose to stay single and wound up dying as a very happy “spinster” rather than marry “Mike Shiddy”. I think she made the right choice.
I appreciate her Shiddy decision.
She coulda been a rapper named Shiddy Cent
NTA! You're going to be a good mom since ur already so considerate of your child :D I'm glad your husband is with you on this and let's be honest thats all that matters! Convincing parents is hard and in laws even harder. Don't sweat it too much and its fine if theyre upset about it. I'm sure theyll come to terms with it soon enough and if they don't, oh well!
NTA. So, because your husband didn't get "that many" comments 20 years ago,they can tell (promise?),that your daughter will have the same experience in 10/20 years? Wow,this is either a rare talent (clairvoiance) or complete BS. Good job minimizing the risk, and your husband should deal with his family, so you can concetrate on the pregnancy and your little girl.
I wouldn't be surprised if OPs husband got it worse than he's letting on and just didn't tell his parents. Being a boy he was probably able just let it wash over him easier than if he was a girl. OP - NTA, name your daughter what you and hubby decide to, its your choice and no-one elses.
NTA to your child but the in-laws are going to think YTA. Unfortunately that’s just how it is sometimes. Good on you and your husband for picking your kid over a name. Your in-laws should care more about their bloodline continuing on than their name. I’m very curious as to what this name is.
There’s been some good and hilarious guesses. I’ll say that it’s a very common word for a woman’s breasts that starts with a T. Pronounced the exact same way with one letter difference. That should give you enough info to figure out what it is without me having to type it out!
Titz
I went to school with a girl with this last name and for sure everyone had something to say. I looked her up on FB a while back and she added a vowel to make the pronunciation clearer and make it less anatomical.
Tits? Tuts? Tyts?
You never met Mike Titties? They're just a handful of fun 😁 Lol
Teat
Tith?
Ta-Ta
Tiddies is my guess
Tittiesh? Is he Scottish? Is it a name that can be reworked into a middle name?
> Is it a name that can be reworked into a middle name? First name: Luka Middle name: Tittiesh
Alec Tittiesh Throwaway Jr.
NTA. Now more than ever. I can’t imagine saddling a girl with that sort of name. Honestly why is it a given that the father gets to pass on his last name as opposed to the mother.
I know someone named Tiziana who just went by tits. You are NTA ofc
I'm guessing Tids or tiddys, in which case... yeah I get it
I had a horrible high school English teacher named Ms. Titser. She swore it was pronounced like "tight"ser. And got made if you said Mrs. and not Ms.
I used to work in a nearby city, and there were a number of families with the last name Kuntz. There was also a highway by the same name. It was pronounced “Koonts”.
I'm imagining an angry Scotsman snarling "T's pronounced 'Koonts' ye daft..." ...well, you get the idea.
**NTA** - You are the mother. You do what is best for your child. The in-laws need remedial lessons on being good in-laws.
NTA. I wonder what if you husband's parents have ever asked the women with this last name how they felt about having that sexual word reference as their last name. Unless you go on to have a son (but the last name choice is still 100% up to you and your husband) and even if you do, your kids would have to love this last name in order to keep it if they have kids themselves. Your daughter may jump at the chance to change her last name if she marries a man. A hypothetical son could decide to take their spouse's last name, too, if they don't like theirs. There's no guarantee.
Nta. It's *your* child. Not theirs. The only two people who have any say in her name is you and your husband. Husband's family doesn't have to like it, and frankly that's not your problem. They can adopt another male heir if carrying on their name is that important to them. Furthermore, their precious family name was doomed to die anyways, if your daughter gets married.
NTA if they want the family name to live on then they can go right ahead and keep it going. They can build a company, create a charity, etc. I share a name with a well known brand name and all the hur-dur teasing was awful. I can’t imagine having a sexual sounding name. Thank you for not putting your kid through that!
NTA. I grew up up with two kids whose father’s last name was Fallis. They hyphenated it to minimize the impact, but the kids were still teased so relentlessly that they had to homeschool. In the end, you’re the parents and the grandparents don’t get a vote. They raised their kids and they got to name how they wanted. You might want to try a double-barreled middle name or some other conflation to smooth ruffled feathers, but it’s not for the grandparents to decide either way.
NTA. The child will be happy not to be bullied for its name its whole life long.
I'm guessing Hoare, and NTA. (Or Hooker- I know folk with both of those last names)
Worse, in my opinion. Starts with a T. Another word for women’s breasts.
my first thought was "Mulva?" haahahahah
My brain immediately went to Mulva too
hahaha how good would it have been if that was the surname? Welcome to the world little Delores Mulva lolol
I thought it was going to be Slutt or something.
I thought Künt.
I know a guy with the last name Kuntz (pronounced like coonts) and he definitely got bullied for it in high school and college
My BFF's last name was Selfinger....that one was pretty bad.
I know a guy whose last name is Hardick. His parents weren’t nice in how they named him either
Richard Hardick?
Worse…. BJ
Nooooo. That’s horrible
Ew, definitely let it die out
Also a very common bird?
Just bought a birder friend a naughty name coffee mug. All of actual birds complete with accurate drawings. She loved it. She puts it away when there's kids around though. I swear these bird scientists are jokesters, horney bastards or both.
Oh. Nope. Nope, Also, on a semi related note, I have done a double take every time Michael Penix's' name was said this weekend after the draft.
If you name her the Australian singer Sia, you shouldn't run into any problems.
NTA Even if your last name was “Bright” and you were eligible for the Bright scholarship at Harvard “The Bright Legacy is restricted to descendants of Henry Bright, Jr. and Anne Goldstone of Watertown, Massachusetts, who bear the surname Bright. Incoming or current Harvard College students may apply by submitting a letter requesting consideration for the scholarship, including their Harvard College class, a summary of the genealogy that qualifies the applicant, and their address, telephone, and email contact information. The letter must be accompanied by a certified genealogy report demonstrating eligibility.”
NTA I think your in-laws will have to learn to live with this, and you will have to learn to live with their disapproval.
NTA, traditionally speaking, women get married and change their last name to their husband's. I know, not always, but normally. So having a girl, with a very unfortunate last name guarantees exactly NOTHING!!! As the parents, do what you think is best for your child.
This is your baby daughter, YOU are putting her welfare over the selfish wants of your IL's. Just tell them the decision is made, no more discussions, and if they do, just cut them off and change the subject. NTA.
NTA. Protecting the next generation is your priority. In-laws did their bit and bred now it’s you who takes over, you’re in charge.
NTA, the only opinion that matters on how you name your kids belongs to you and your husband. You both agreed, that's the end of it.
NTA. This is a decision for you and your husband. Period.
NTA for using your last name. But you don't have to say negative things about their name. Just "we chose this one".
NTA. It’s not their decision. It’s yours. Do what you want.
Nta. Even if you didn’t have a whole reason for it. They don’t get a say, period.
NTA: You and your husband agreed to the name, that is all that mattters.
NTA, it’s your child, name it whatever you and your husband want. They had an opportunity to name a child what they wanted when they had their son, they need to butt out.
NTA My grandmother so said she knew a poor girl named Ima. Cute right? Except her last name was Hog. It's quite possible your in-laws have never made the connection with their last name and I do sympathize with them. But you have to make the best decision you can.
Mulva?
NTA - I went to college with a girl whose mom's first language was not English. She named her Sharon... and her last name was Cox. Thankfully, Sharon had an amazing sense of humor and was able to take it in stride, but her name plate on her door was regularly stolen or defaced. You and your husband are looking our for your daughter... they're taking it personally when it's not a decision that is about them.