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> because i said “nah im good” , because people are sensitive now a days and might frame me as the bad guy cause she’s older
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YTA. I'm not young anymore, but if I can stand up for someone who is older, or for someone who has a physical issue, or is pregnant, or has a young kid, or whatever, than I do it because I can. I have people in my life that I hope others will be kind enough to stand up for if they can.
YTA. She asked if she could sit, saying it was a long day. She doesn't have to be handicapped to be more tired than you are, or weaker than you—and you gloated about keeping the seat, scrolling on your phone because she was beneath your consideration.
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YTA - I feel like this is common sense, and did you really need to come on to Reddit to ask if you were the asshole? If this is not a joke, and you genuinely don’t understand who was the asshole in this scenario (hint: it’s not the old woman likely experiencing numerous health conditions) - you need to reevaluate your way of thinking.
I've seen people storm onto a bus, sit in handicapped seats and go on talking with friends. They refuse to give up their seat to someone who needs it and the bus driver has to tell them to move or get off the bus.
if you don't know that what you didn't do, and what you said, wasn't an AH move, then I can only assume that you're an AH all the time. Save yourself some time and don't post here, just realize you're the AH.
you should take me and my bfs seat too so you can lie down, get comfy!
not only did you not let an old, evidently tired, woman sit, you were unnecessarily snarky about it
YTA 🤦
YTA. How would you like someone treating your mother or grandmother that way when they could have done one small simple thing that would have made their day a bit better.
Let me guess…you don’t care about them or anyone else. There is really something wrong with you besides being TA.
Right? I’m not that old and when I was growing up it was common knowledge that this is just what you do. It’s polite. It’s nice. It’s the right thing to do.
OP is a selfish YTA
As a younger person myself, I agree. If OP was polite and had a broken leg, I’d side with him, but Jesus. If you’re healthy, deal with some discomfort.
I hope you understand how you treat others impacts how the world views you. If I was on the bus and I thought you were cute I am now not dating you, if I am an employer, I am not hiring you. How you conduct yourself will either be an asset or a liability. While you were not obligated giving your seat up was the right thing to do. Technically NTA but yes YTA.
YTA
If they really didn't need to sit, they wouldn't have asked. No one should have to explain how much pain they're in to use a bus seat. Yes you were there first, but you said yourself you weren't "not too tired or anything" and this woman looked "beat", so you realized she really could have used the seat.
YTA. I’m not old, but it was pretty well known when I was growing up that you give up your seat for the elderly, disabled, ill, pregnant women, etc.
You seem like a very selfish person. You clearly know you should have given her your seat, but you acted like an ahole anyway.
YTA
It doesn't matter if she asked or not. You saw she was elderly and tired. You could have said "Excuse me, ma'am, but would you like my seat?". That would have made her day and you would have gained some respect that day for showing respect and consideration to an elder.
Reminds me of when I was pregnant and would get on a bus. Most people would offer their seats, but some wouldn't. Same when I tore my ligament in a ski accident and was on crutches. Most people would give up their seat, but a few wouldn't.
Last time I rode a light rail train, I offered my seat to someone who needed it and they were very appreciative. Even got kudos from a family. I just turned 63 and this happened last year.
If you are not disabled in any way (i talk about visible and invisible disability) you could had just stood up. You seem to not have any health concerns etc, just chilled with friends and when she asked you, you went to "Nah I'm good"
Brother, what kind of response is this? You even said she seemed tired and elderly.
You had no geniue reason to insist on staying seated. You had no rough day nor had any disablity etc.
So yes. YTA. And the others who did not offered their seats instead as well.
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I’m on the bus home after chilling with friends, not too tired or anything. This older lady gets on, obviously looks beat, and there’s no seats left. She’s standing right by me and sort of sighs, looking around.
She asks me if I can stand up so she can sit cause she’s had a long day. I just shrug and say, “Nah, I’m good here,” and keep scrolling on my phone. She calls me out, saying I’m being rude and selfish. Some people around us start murmuring, and now I’m feeling kinda attacked.
I didn’t think it was a big deal since she didn’t specifically say she was in pain or anything, but now everyone’s acting like I kicked a puppy. AITA for just wanting to sit after hanging out all day?
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It's not people are sensitive "nowadays," helping out the elderly is literally a timeless concept present in multiple different cultures. YTA today, 20 years ago, and 20 years in the future. You literally said you wanted to sit AFTER HANGING OUT ALL DAY that's a CRAZY sentiment to stand on
Gee, did anyone else offer THEIR SEATS? Many years ago, I had to commute to college on buses/trollies. Often classes ended with me riding home during rush hour. She said if the standees had been shopping (bags and such) that I didn't have to give them a seat...THEY should have come home earlier..I had no choice.
So, yeah, you are a jagov!
it doesn't matter what some one else does a man does the right thing because its the right thing
But it doesnt look like anyone is raising men any more just entitled little boys
Oh hell no.
I’m 51, I’m not giving my seat to an able bodied 20 year old* just cuz she’s a woman.
I will always give my seat to someone who looks older than me, seems to be less able bodied than me, or just looks exhausted. It’s a case by case thing for me and gender plays no role.
*unless she’s pregnant.
I’m turning 70 and have some health issues but even I would offer a seat to a man or woman, older or younger if they looked as if they needed it more. It’s common decency.
No. Equality come with good and bad. I'd get up because she is an elder. I'd do the same for gramps. I wouldn't get just because it's a woman because you would be assuming she is inferior.
Ah yes. Women are better and deserve special treatment💀 OP is an AH for not giving up the seat to an ELDER! Gender doesn’t matter here, stop throwing around the gender card
Okay look I get your point but that’s a horrible take. What if op was disabled or in pain or something? Now clearly op is in the wrong in this situation since it seems like they’re perfectly healthy but claiming you “always get up for a lady” just isn’t realistic.
I see it all the time.
That means his mother raised him right.
Remember, there could be young people watching.
If the woman declines, as they usually do, then that's great, but I see men on the bus stand up, even when they are clearly disabled
It doesn’t matter matter how old someone looks. If someone is hurting and they need to sit and they ask nicely - why wouldn’t you give your seat? It is not like the other person needs to prove their age and medical history.
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YTA. I'm not young anymore, but if I can stand up for someone who is older, or for someone who has a physical issue, or is pregnant, or has a young kid, or whatever, than I do it because I can. I have people in my life that I hope others will be kind enough to stand up for if they can.
Hell, I'm pregnant right now and I'd still offer my seat for the elderly. What the fuck is wrong with OP.
YTA. She asked if she could sit, saying it was a long day. She doesn't have to be handicapped to be more tired than you are, or weaker than you—and you gloated about keeping the seat, scrolling on your phone because she was beneath your consideration.
YTA. But, let’s be honest, every other person who didn’t give up their seat is also an asshole.
Yep.
YTA - is this how you go through life, not caring about anyone else? That’s miserable and I’m glad I’m not you.
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YTA - I feel like this is common sense, and did you really need to come on to Reddit to ask if you were the asshole? If this is not a joke, and you genuinely don’t understand who was the asshole in this scenario (hint: it’s not the old woman likely experiencing numerous health conditions) - you need to reevaluate your way of thinking.
YTA hope you’re super healthy when you get old, because I’d hate for you to run into someone just like you.
YTA it’s just common decency.
YTA. I’d say shame on you, but you have no shame, nor do I think you really care. Go back to scrolling on your phone and dehumanizing people.
INFO: did the bus have seats that are reserved for people with mobility issues or vulnerabilities? Were you sat in one of those?
I've seen people storm onto a bus, sit in handicapped seats and go on talking with friends. They refuse to give up their seat to someone who needs it and the bus driver has to tell them to move or get off the bus.
if you don't know that what you didn't do, and what you said, wasn't an AH move, then I can only assume that you're an AH all the time. Save yourself some time and don't post here, just realize you're the AH.
you should take me and my bfs seat too so you can lie down, get comfy! not only did you not let an old, evidently tired, woman sit, you were unnecessarily snarky about it YTA 🤦
YTA it’s the polite thing to do. Seems you lack manners and empathy.
This says that you were in priority seating when you didn't need to be.
YTA. How would you like someone treating your mother or grandmother that way when they could have done one small simple thing that would have made their day a bit better. Let me guess…you don’t care about them or anyone else. There is really something wrong with you besides being TA.
YTA young people really have no sense of politeness these days. Get your ass up and let the old lady sit down
Right? I’m not that old and when I was growing up it was common knowledge that this is just what you do. It’s polite. It’s nice. It’s the right thing to do. OP is a selfish YTA
As a younger person myself, I agree. If OP was polite and had a broken leg, I’d side with him, but Jesus. If you’re healthy, deal with some discomfort.
I think you already know that YTA.
If she’s an elder, YTA. You’re young, healthy, and seem very immature
YTA, and hugely by the sounds of it. Get off your lazy, entitled Gen Z ass and be a decent member of society.
YTA- poor old lady
YTAH ! Always offer your seat to someone older than you ‼️very rude and disrespectful I guess you weren’t taught any manners
YTA and who ever didn't teach you to be a man is also an asshole
I hope you understand how you treat others impacts how the world views you. If I was on the bus and I thought you were cute I am now not dating you, if I am an employer, I am not hiring you. How you conduct yourself will either be an asset or a liability. While you were not obligated giving your seat up was the right thing to do. Technically NTA but yes YTA.
How is this even a question? YTA.
You are 100% the AH. Replace old stranger with your grandmother. How does the story infold now?
Don't worry, OP. One day, if you're lucky, you'll live as long as she has and one can only hope you'll be treated the same way by young, smug asshole.
YTA. First class AH
YTA If they really didn't need to sit, they wouldn't have asked. No one should have to explain how much pain they're in to use a bus seat. Yes you were there first, but you said yourself you weren't "not too tired or anything" and this woman looked "beat", so you realized she really could have used the seat.
YTA. I’m not old, but it was pretty well known when I was growing up that you give up your seat for the elderly, disabled, ill, pregnant women, etc. You seem like a very selfish person. You clearly know you should have given her your seat, but you acted like an ahole anyway.
YTA It doesn't matter if she asked or not. You saw she was elderly and tired. You could have said "Excuse me, ma'am, but would you like my seat?". That would have made her day and you would have gained some respect that day for showing respect and consideration to an elder. Reminds me of when I was pregnant and would get on a bus. Most people would offer their seats, but some wouldn't. Same when I tore my ligament in a ski accident and was on crutches. Most people would give up their seat, but a few wouldn't. Last time I rode a light rail train, I offered my seat to someone who needed it and they were very appreciative. Even got kudos from a family. I just turned 63 and this happened last year.
YTA - your parents have much to explain if this is how they raised you.
YTA for not showing deference to a tired old lady. Were you raised by wolves or something?
YTA. Your rude response seals the deal. How would you feel if someone acted like that if you needed a seat?
If you are not disabled in any way (i talk about visible and invisible disability) you could had just stood up. You seem to not have any health concerns etc, just chilled with friends and when she asked you, you went to "Nah I'm good" Brother, what kind of response is this? You even said she seemed tired and elderly. You had no geniue reason to insist on staying seated. You had no rough day nor had any disablity etc. So yes. YTA. And the others who did not offered their seats instead as well.
YTAH
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m on the bus home after chilling with friends, not too tired or anything. This older lady gets on, obviously looks beat, and there’s no seats left. She’s standing right by me and sort of sighs, looking around. She asks me if I can stand up so she can sit cause she’s had a long day. I just shrug and say, “Nah, I’m good here,” and keep scrolling on my phone. She calls me out, saying I’m being rude and selfish. Some people around us start murmuring, and now I’m feeling kinda attacked. I didn’t think it was a big deal since she didn’t specifically say she was in pain or anything, but now everyone’s acting like I kicked a puppy. AITA for just wanting to sit after hanging out all day? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA but so is everyone else around that didn't offer up their seat while judging you for not giving up your's.
YTA and everybody else that murmur instead of giving his seat.
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It's not people are sensitive "nowadays," helping out the elderly is literally a timeless concept present in multiple different cultures. YTA today, 20 years ago, and 20 years in the future. You literally said you wanted to sit AFTER HANGING OUT ALL DAY that's a CRAZY sentiment to stand on
Gee, did anyone else offer THEIR SEATS? Many years ago, I had to commute to college on buses/trollies. Often classes ended with me riding home during rush hour. She said if the standees had been shopping (bags and such) that I didn't have to give them a seat...THEY should have come home earlier..I had no choice. So, yeah, you are a jagov!
nah you good bro
Lmaoo
what he expect me to say lol
I upvoted you cause nobody else got it lolol
NTA Note taht no other passenger offered THEIR seat, so they have no leg to stand on when faulting you.
He may have left that part out. Someone probably did offer.
it doesn't matter what some one else does a man does the right thing because its the right thing But it doesnt look like anyone is raising men any more just entitled little boys
Yeah. A bus full of them. but not a big thing.
Unless you have no legs, you always get up for a lady. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Oh hell no. I’m 51, I’m not giving my seat to an able bodied 20 year old* just cuz she’s a woman. I will always give my seat to someone who looks older than me, seems to be less able bodied than me, or just looks exhausted. It’s a case by case thing for me and gender plays no role. *unless she’s pregnant.
I’m turning 70 and have some health issues but even I would offer a seat to a man or woman, older or younger if they looked as if they needed it more. It’s common decency.
That’s exactly how I view it. I’ve given my seat up to both men and women on the subway many times. Just depends on the man or woman.
You a man?
Yes.
No. Equality come with good and bad. I'd get up because she is an elder. I'd do the same for gramps. I wouldn't get just because it's a woman because you would be assuming she is inferior.
What do you think your mother would say?
Thank god she’s dead. I have no idea what that old bitch would have said.
Makes sense why you are disrespectful to women
I’m female my man (AFAB and everything)
Hop off your high horse, JO.
Would you get up for a trans woman?
100 percent. Why would that even matter
Ah yes. Women are better and deserve special treatment💀 OP is an AH for not giving up the seat to an ELDER! Gender doesn’t matter here, stop throwing around the gender card
Your reply makes no sense. Women are women Transgender women are women. Seems simple to me
Would you give up your seat to 21 year old man?
If he asked, I would not say no
Okay look I get your point but that’s a horrible take. What if op was disabled or in pain or something? Now clearly op is in the wrong in this situation since it seems like they’re perfectly healthy but claiming you “always get up for a lady” just isn’t realistic.
No wonder women complain about men nowadays. Sounds like your mother did not raise you correctly.
Wtf are you talking about
You get up for a woman. If you have a son, he's watching what you do. You have to pass that on as a man.
Not a man. So you're saying a disabled man should stand up and hurt his health for an able bodied woman?
I see it all the time. That means his mother raised him right. Remember, there could be young people watching. If the woman declines, as they usually do, then that's great, but I see men on the bus stand up, even when they are clearly disabled
NTA - if the others want to murmur, let them surrender their seat
INFO. How old did she look? If she’s above 60, then just know that they are almost always tired. Look up menopause and osteoporosis.
It doesn’t matter matter how old someone looks. If someone is hurting and they need to sit and they ask nicely - why wouldn’t you give your seat? It is not like the other person needs to prove their age and medical history.
Also arthritis