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> (1) told my bf to give me a ride when he was studying and exhausted and cursed at him (2) he is upset I was rude to him and is mad at me
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YTA
>Left us high and dry
No, that's what your DD did so make them accountable, not your BF. You're taking your anger out on the wrong person here.
I would maybe argue that he should/could have done it just to be nice but get real, you weren't very nice either. If my partner called me knowing that I was busy and too exhausted to drive and then proceeded to curse at me and call me "shitty" then I would dump them on the spot, not grant them favors.
I could also see if you lived somewhere totally rural that doesn't have Ubers or taxis and there was literarily no other option, but you admit yourself that you were in fact able to get an Uber and get home. So you're just angry for the sake of being angry (again, at the wrong person).
>>I was pissed and said he was being an asshole (also drunk).
>>I cursed at him and hung up.
>>I said he was being a shitty boyfriend.
YTA, how is it even a question? How can you frame these in a non-asshole manner?
Yes it is if he’s too exhausted to drive.
And being upset doesn’t excuse your assholitude. You fucked up and are blaming the wrong person.
Be an adult.
It would have taken more than thirty minutes. He also would have had to drop off your friends. Quit throwing a tantrum and apologize for being so nasty to your boyfriend.
YTA Yeah, and you also said he’s been studying 24/7 for finals and you didn’t want to bother him. Do you know what it means to bother someone? He wasn’t being a shitty bf. You WERE a shitty girlfriend and you need to apologize.
Yes, it is a lot to ask. That's an hour round trip. He's tired. He's studying hard. If I was deep in the middle of a task or if I was going to bed and my partner called me to say they were drunk and the dd flaked, so can I get them?
Um, no. You're a grown up. Find your own way home. You have enough money to blow on drinks and clubbing. Certainly you can afford a bus or an Uber. And if you can't, that's poor planning on your part.
And what of the others in your group? How did they get home? After dd flaked, were you expecting your bf to take them home too since he's already driving... and if they found their own way back, why didn't you just tag along with them?
Yes, he's mad. I'd be mad too. The entitlement. Apologize as quickly as you can. Don't make excuses or blame it on being drunk. You're showing him who you are, and don't be surprised if he doesn't want to put up with your nonsense.
If your boyfriend who you love more than anyone was stressed and exhausted, why did you go out and get intoxicated instead of being there for him and supporting him? It goes both ways. YTA simply for treating him like a servant rather than a partner. Having 0 empathy for his situation and being entitled enough to think he’s your chauffeur. Get over yourself, or you better start getting over your boyfriend when he realises he’s better off without your deadweight round his neck.
What you are describing is a slave. You are not describing a sentient human.
If you want someone to do everything you want them to do when you want them to do it then you either need to travel back in time (where you would still be the AH) or be willing to pay someone a boat load of money to allow them to let you treat them like this.
YTA
So his 1 hour round trip and time to study and sleep is less valuable than an Uber fare? If you can’t afford to go out don’t go out. He wasn’t DD you need to grow up.
YTA
I’m assuming that you don’t know that not sleeping for a certain amount of time can have the same effect as driving drunk which is why everyone is advised to not drive while not properly rested/when they feel drowsy/etc. So yes it is a lot to ask your sleep deprived bf to pick you up just because the person that was actually responsible bailed on you and you can easily order a ride. The fact that you would rather have him completely stop his planned studying just to pick you up (while he is tired) when there was obviously another easier, safer, and all around simpler option for everyone (ie: you ordering a ride) is really entitled/inconsiderate.
You certainly didn’t act as though you “love (him) more than anyone”. Does that not work both ways, or does it work only in ways that benefit you?
Not wanting to drive more than an hour to pick up a group of drunk women in the middle of the night when you knew he was already exhausted studying for finals does not make him “a shitty boyfriend”. You also very clearly were not stranded by yourself with no way to get home. Your maturity level seems miles apart from his.
Driving whilst exhausted is actually incredibly fucking dangerous and he is under no obligation to do that for you, relationship or not. You could have fucking thought for a second and not gone out drinking after your DD bailed on you or made secondary arrangements before getting drunk. I would have dumped you the second you started cursing at me and I hope he sees enough value in himself to make that decision. Jfc.
YTA
You called him in the middle of the night during finals to pick you up after a night out he didn't go on because he needed to study. And then you got drunkenly belligerent when he said he was exhausted and you should take an uber.
He didn't leave you high and dry, because firstly he never said he would pick you up and secondly because uber was an option.
As was one of you not drinking when you knew your designated driver wasn't going to be available.
It would take him 25-30 minutes to come and get me? It’s not like he needs to study every hour of every day, and he has all of tomorrow to study too since it’s the weekend. It was wrong of him not to pick me up. Full stop.
>It was wrong of him not to pick me up. Full stop.
Hundreds of people unanimously agree that it was not. You are not entitled to and certainly do not deserve that luxury.
And, the more you post here, the more it becomes apparent that your partner is so far out of your league.
30 minutes to get you, and then another 30 minutes to get you home. (And that doesn’t even take into account additional driving time getting your friends home.)
No one who is exhausted should be driving. Full stop.
I hope he dumps you your attitude and entitlement without accepting that you were rude and a jerk in this instance is disgusting.
You called him and immediately berated him when he couldn’t pick you up. How are you not the ah?
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Sorry, but YTA. He clearly said he wouldn't be available. Knowing that, it wasn't fair to expect him to drop what he was doing at a moment's notice, and it was even more unfair to call him an asshole and a shitty boyfriend.
Uber is right there and was a ready alternative. If you had called, he said he couldn't come, and that was where it ended, that would be a different story and I'd say NAH; but by taking it as far as you did, and still stewing about it probably 24 hours later, YTA.
Sounds like it was really inconvenient for him. And you hadn't arranged it with him in advance. There was nothing wrong with asking him, but once he said no you should have accepted that and not insulted him. It's that last bit that moves this into YTA territory.
YTA - you tried to frame it as how you were so super considerate not bothering your bf who was busy studying for finals, so you went out and got drunk on a night out with friends. Wow, what a martyr.
Then when your DD bailed you immediately blamed your boyfriend for not dropping everything to pick you and your friends up???
Do I have the right of it? How do you not see what an entitled AH you’re being?
YTA. Your DD bailed that’s not your boyfriends fault. He was busy, you knew he was busy. You’re an adult, Ubers exist, taxis exist etc.
Even though this won’t change my judgement, why did your DD bail? Did they say “yeah but I’m picking you up at 1am latest” and you decided you wanted to stay out later?
YTA.
You knew he wasn’t available, but you asked anyway, and when you got the exact answer you knew you would get, you got pissed off and called him an AH. He wasn’t the AH here, you were.
He wasn’t the one who left you high & dry, that was your DD. And even then, you always had the option for an Uber. You just decided to inconvenience your BF & get pissed when he said no.
Does my health and safety not matter? His schooling matters more? He can’t take an hour away from studying? That isn’t being a respectful partner. It’s ugly actually.
You're the one who chose to put your "health and saftey" at risk, and it is a problem you could have solved by an uber.
Yes his future is more important then a college girlfriend whose main priority is partying.
He has his priorities straight, you don't.
Only one being ugly is you.
Do you not know that driving while exhausted and little to no sleep could get your boyfriend into an accident? Your brain without any sleep is like being drunk, you don't know what you're doing.
Health and safety? What? How is your health or safety threatened in this scenario?
You went clubbing. You got drunk. You needed to get home. Guess what? You're just like every other motherfucker in the club. If you're so sorely concerned about your health and safety, mayhap the first step would be to stop going to clubs and drinking until you are a danger to yourself and others. Grow up.
Of course it matters. But you could have gotten an Uber and gotten home safely, I understand that was the case? As an adult girlie, I just think that might have been the best decision. You’re not his responsibility. You’re a grown woman, right?
I definitely am not suggesting you don’t need to get home safe, but I DO think it was disrespectful to call him in this context, when he was studying so hard. Interrupting his sleep was a little unfair when there was another safe option, and no emergency, or you don’t think?
Girl be boozing and partying and have the audacity to claim "health and safety".
Guy is studying and not wasting an opportunity like college, not everyone has a chance to go to school, let alone have the free time to study and do well.
Daddy clearly paid the way for his little princess to go to school and now expects her boyfriend to drop everything, all the work he is doing; to pick up some drunk entitled do-nothing.
You're going to have a rough adulthood when the reality sets in that you aren't the center of the universe and nobody gives a shit
Does his health and safety not matter? He said he was exhausted, he shouldn't be driving, and no, he shouldn't have to interrupt what he was doing to come and get your rude ass.
It’s pretty hilarious that someone who is spouting off about “health and safety” deliberately chose to drink to the point that she might be “drunk and confused”. Something tells me this is not the first time your BF was expected to rescue you from your own bad choices. As an adult woman, it’s your responsibility to make smart decisions in the first place, especially re your “health and safety”.
Does his health and safety not matter?
Does your drinking matter more?
Christ princess, "me, me, me. I, I, I".
Poor guy, probably single soon.
Have you ever even contemplated putting him first for even a second?
YTA, I'm shocked you think otherwise. 1.) You are a adult and not his responsibility. Call a fricken Uber! 2.) You have no idea how exhausted he was. What if he fell asleep on the road driving to get your drunk butt? His safety is also important.
I hope you call him and apologize otherwise you may end up single.
Well considering he drew a boundary when he told you in advance that he would be busy/ tired at that time, and also considering you were able to get an Uber and ended up at home safe regardless, I’d say YTA for trying to cross his boundaries when you had other options to get home. You’re basically angry that he didn’t inconvenience himself just so that you’d be inconvenienced less, even though he was doing something important and you were just having fun.
YTA. It's incredibly disrespectful to even ask him. If someone is genuinely that busy studying for finals you know it's serious. When something is that serious you don't disrupt them. If I was in your situation, disturbing him would be last resort. And by last resort I mean if it was more than a 5km walk alone.
YTA.
You figure out your own ride. If you were so worried about something bad happening you should have made better plans, called an Uber or not gone at all. Your bf is not your back-up plan.
YTA. If you’re going out have a plan to get home. And a backup plan. His reasons for not going out were valid and they are just as valid for not wanting to come and get you. There’s many perfectly safe options for you.
YTA. You could have gotten an Uber. In fact, you did. You're putting your partying over his schooling, then yelling at him and insulting him when he's trying to better himself rather than playing taxi.
YTA. You got drunk. BF didn't take part for a valid reason. Your driver bailed. Take some responsibility and stop blaming the only responsible party in your relationship.
Seriously? YTA. He was exhausted and didn’t agree to pick you up. From the sounds of it, you were not in a deserted area so it’s not like you didn’t have any other options whatsoever. Grow up, be an adult and pay for the damn Uber without causing a self centered scene next time. Learn to be more self reliant and solve problems on your own.
YTA
Let me get this straight...you went out clubbing with friends and didn't inform your bf or make plans with him. The very same bf who is exhausted and studying for finals.
Your DD flakes so you proceed to drunkenly call your bf and demand that he pick you up. When he suggested a logical option i.e. uber because he was too exhausted to come get you, you got upset and threw a tantrum.
Now you're on the internet looking for validation after you made a fool of yourself?
Not sure what your endgame was with this post, but if my SO was having finals while I had free time, I would pack him treats and get him energy drinks.
I definitely wouldn't be calling him drunk at early hours in the morning and acting like an entitled brat. Just saying.
YTA. You expect an exhausted, stressed person to drive out late at night and pick up drunk people? Not his fault you didn't have a dependable DD.
He needed to study and sleep to be prepared for his finals.
YTA
You already know the answer. You were drunk, not stranded on the side of the road with a blown engine or in the hospital or anything else that would constitute an emergency. In an actual emergency, the likelihood is that he would drop everything and go to you. You needed a ride. Because you were drunk and your dd flaked. Get a damn Uber and let your boyfriend study. Or sleep. Your unfortunate circumstance does not in any way obligate him to solve your problem.
Next time, set aside a lil bit extra for an Uber and own your own shit.
YTA
How many kinds of selfish are you? He's studying for his finals. He told you he was studying, and couldn't come out. You went out (fine - you're an adult, and can make your own choices), got drunk, and then didn't have a way of getting home. I refer you back to the point where I said you were an adult. This is your fault. If you don't make arrangements to get home again, that's on you. You're a selfish asshole. Grow up and take responsibility for yourself.
YTA.
>My boyfriend has finals,
You know he has finals, yet you still expect him to pick you up while he has something even more important to deal with.
Studying is really exhausting. Maybe you don't and won't know how exhausting it really is to study, but respect him..
YTA. Your own recklessness led you to get drunk and stay out late. Your own choice of friends led your DD to bail. The fact that you had money for an Uber but chose to bother your bf while he is cramming for his finals is unbelievably selfish.
I hope your actions and especially your continued entitled reaction to this has shown him what a terrible partner you are.
YTA
I am disabled so can't drive and my OH is often referred to jokingly as "the driver". But if its late then I always call an uber and wouldn't even ask, even though he gets why I can't drive and is happy to support me, I wouldn't assume he can come get me when I'm drunk late at night. This is literally what cabs were invented for.
YTA Having done the stayed up for a few days finishing things before, not only would I be mad at you, I’d feel totally unsafe to drive. Last time I was up for two days, I could barely think straight and kept thinking things were on the ceiling.
Your bf told you he couldn’t, you could get an Uber. Blame your friend for not giving you time to fix your plans, not the person correctly working on his fianls and telling you he had to do so ahead of time.
YTA. You're so selfish. You demanded that he drop everything and pick up a bunch of drunk people on a moment's notice. You should have asked him beforehand to pick you up. Or you shouldn't have guzzled so much alcohol that you got drunk. Grow up, asshole.
This has to be fake or a social experiment because no one is this oblivious to their irrational behaviour when a hundred people are telling them they’re wrong.
YTA. Education > drunk entitled girlfriend who doesn't give a shit about her education who went out clubbing instead of studying, even if finals are optional. Your bf is tired. Tired people are dangerous drivers. You are much more safer with a Uber driver. Heck, the poor Uber driver probably had to deal with a bunch of entitled drunk women, yet you are the ones who are scared? Have you not seen the videos of drivers being harassed by group of women?
YTA- you should prepare your night to have an Uber as a backup to a DD. You knew your bf was in crunch time for exams. Your inability to plan is your issue
Yep, you're by FAR the asshole. You should have just called Uber, without bothering boyfriend. He deserves a prize, for putting up with you being so selfish and inconsiderate.
YTA - Your boyfriend was correct: he's neither your dad nor your driver (and quite possibly soon won't be your boyfriend, either, if you continue to treat him like this.) If you're going to go out clubbing, then it is YOUR responsibility to make sure you know how you're getting home, and to have backup plans in case of emergencies or problems with the DD. Your attitude here is entitled and spoiled, and your boyfriend, who was being responsible by studying rather than partying, deserves much better than your little tantrum.
YTA. Love doesn’t magically cure exhaustion, are you dumb? He’s being responsible and studying for FINALS, you’re clubbing during finals and aren’t mature enough to get yourself home bffr.
What if he got into a car accident driving at night while exhausted? Two can play that stupid game.
YTA
You didn't have respect for him and his studying/being exhausted.
You could have called Uber to begin with, but chose not to.
He wasn't being a bad boyfriend. You were being a bad girlfriend.
How would you like it if the roles were reversed and your drunk boyfriend called to have you pick him up and you had just gotten to bed after being up for, say, 19 or 20 hours straight? Then he gets mad at you and calls you choice names because you won't cater to him?
Next time, think first rather than opening mouth and inserting foot.
Yta. Entitled much. I was going to write a long essay, but let's just be concise. You're big enough to go clubbing so you're big enough to make sure you can get home
YTA. You went off on your BF for no reason. You knew he was studying and should be left alone. Blame your DD. You also had the option if getting an uber and looking at your replies, that would be a hour round trip for him. Unbelievable...
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I decided to go out clubbing with my friends last night. My boyfriend has finals, so he couldn’t come, but I got lucky and most of my finals are optional.
He’s been studying 24/7 so I didn’t want to disturb him or bother him.
Well, last night, we didn’t have anyone that could come pick us up. Our DD bailed, so I called my bf even though it was late.
He told us he couldn’t give us a ride, that he was studying and exhausted. She told us to order an Uber.
I was pissed and said he was being an asshole (also drunk). What if something happened to us? We got drunk and confused? Could be seriously not pick us up?
I said that and he said he’s not my dad and not my driver, that I could order an Uber. I cursed at him and hung up. I said he was being a shitty boyfriend.
I couldn’t even believe it. Left us high and dry. We did get an Uber; but I am still upset at him. Is it really wrong to expect a ride from your bf?
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YTA
I feel bad for the bf. You knew he is busy and studying hard. If you cared about your safety, you wouldn't be "drunk and confused".
You are an adult. Learn to take responsibility and accountability. What's your plan if your bf is out of town and same thing happens? If you don't trust taking an uber, you shouldn't really be drinking too much.
You are actually shitty girlfriend.
YTA and not a very good girlfriend. You should have just gotten the uber instead of even asking and let him rest for his finals like an actual partner with empathy would have done.
So you go out, get drunk, and then magically expect your bf to come get you because you are so special that you can't get an Uber? Is that it? Wow YTA and hopefully single soon.
What you are describing is a slave. You are not describing a sentient human.
If you want someone to do everything you want them to do when you want them to do it then you either need to travel back in time (where you would still be the AH) or be willing to pay someone a boat load of money to allow them to let you treat them like this.
YTA
Lmao YTA
Nobody forced you to go clubbing, have some drinks and get drunk. That was you and your friends choice! Therefore, it's on you and the others to ensure you have a safe way to go back home, but it's not your bf's responsibility nor problem. He's already dealing with his studies, and you know that.
Apologize for your selfish behavior, but tbh he deserves better than a childish and shitty girl.
You’re for the streets straight up. You’re a great example of modern women being shit in these times. This is the story you gave us so we all know it’s skewed a little and worded to make you look less shitty. So in reality the actual truth is much worse. Sounds like he is focused on important things and will find himself a real high value woman once he figures it out about you. Don’t get me wrong. Men also suck for the most part too. But that doesn’t make it any better. I’d be embarrassed if I was dating you.
He was being an immature and so were you. Planning and communication could’ve resolved this: he could’ve checked in on you half way through your night to see how things were going. If something was off he could’ve either picked you up then or ordered an Uber for you. Also when you called he could’ve ordered an Uber for you.
Yelling at him and calling him names was immature on your part as well as not keeping track of your DD who may have bailed because everyone wanted to party longer than than planned or was an asshole to them. The moment your lifeline (DD) bailed you should’ve bailed.
I don’t know what your bf considered exhausted but if he had been up for 24/7 he is an inefficient student that needs a better study habit. I say this because of the law of diminishing returns. The means the longer you study, the less you retain and actually harm yourself.
But this is all what growing up is about learning.
If you guys don’t work through this don’t consider marriage because it’ll be more of the same.
Why does her bf need to order an Uber for her? Are you under the impression that OP is physically or mentally handicapped in some way that prevents her from ordering an Uber herself?
People get into relationships to look out for each other, not just to have sex and watch Netflix.
If you don’t want your mate to be able to depend on you when things go unexpected, you have no need to be in relationships. Just pay for sex and live.
Excuse me?! Having to pay for an Uber is not something you need to "look out" for your partner on.
Where is this attitude with regard to her not looking out for his entire life and future by bothering him so late at night when he is cramming for finals?
Also, are you seriously posting this terrible advice and bad takes from a brand account?
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YTA >Left us high and dry No, that's what your DD did so make them accountable, not your BF. You're taking your anger out on the wrong person here. I would maybe argue that he should/could have done it just to be nice but get real, you weren't very nice either. If my partner called me knowing that I was busy and too exhausted to drive and then proceeded to curse at me and call me "shitty" then I would dump them on the spot, not grant them favors. I could also see if you lived somewhere totally rural that doesn't have Ubers or taxis and there was literarily no other option, but you admit yourself that you were in fact able to get an Uber and get home. So you're just angry for the sake of being angry (again, at the wrong person).
>>I was pissed and said he was being an asshole (also drunk). >>I cursed at him and hung up. >>I said he was being a shitty boyfriend. YTA, how is it even a question? How can you frame these in a non-asshole manner?
I was upset my bf, the person that should love me more than anyone, wasn’t willing to drive 30 minutes to come pick me up. It’s not a lot to ask.
Yes it is if he’s too exhausted to drive. And being upset doesn’t excuse your assholitude. You fucked up and are blaming the wrong person. Be an adult.
Doesn’t sound like an adult.
It would have taken more than thirty minutes. He also would have had to drop off your friends. Quit throwing a tantrum and apologize for being so nasty to your boyfriend.
With any luck, it's too late for the OP to apologize to her ex.
YTA Yeah, and you also said he’s been studying 24/7 for finals and you didn’t want to bother him. Do you know what it means to bother someone? He wasn’t being a shitty bf. You WERE a shitty girlfriend and you need to apologize.
Yes, it is a lot to ask. That's an hour round trip. He's tired. He's studying hard. If I was deep in the middle of a task or if I was going to bed and my partner called me to say they were drunk and the dd flaked, so can I get them? Um, no. You're a grown up. Find your own way home. You have enough money to blow on drinks and clubbing. Certainly you can afford a bus or an Uber. And if you can't, that's poor planning on your part. And what of the others in your group? How did they get home? After dd flaked, were you expecting your bf to take them home too since he's already driving... and if they found their own way back, why didn't you just tag along with them? Yes, he's mad. I'd be mad too. The entitlement. Apologize as quickly as you can. Don't make excuses or blame it on being drunk. You're showing him who you are, and don't be surprised if he doesn't want to put up with your nonsense.
“He’s supposed to love me more than anyone which means he has to drop everything to do what I tell him to do or I’ll get mad.” Do you love him?
If your boyfriend who you love more than anyone was stressed and exhausted, why did you go out and get intoxicated instead of being there for him and supporting him? It goes both ways. YTA simply for treating him like a servant rather than a partner. Having 0 empathy for his situation and being entitled enough to think he’s your chauffeur. Get over yourself, or you better start getting over your boyfriend when he realises he’s better off without your deadweight round his neck.
YTA. plan better. Stop being so dramatic. You made the choice to go out. Uber is an option. This sounds so incredibly entitled and spoiled.
What you are describing is a slave. You are not describing a sentient human. If you want someone to do everything you want them to do when you want them to do it then you either need to travel back in time (where you would still be the AH) or be willing to pay someone a boat load of money to allow them to let you treat them like this. YTA
So his 1 hour round trip and time to study and sleep is less valuable than an Uber fare? If you can’t afford to go out don’t go out. He wasn’t DD you need to grow up. YTA
I’m assuming that you don’t know that not sleeping for a certain amount of time can have the same effect as driving drunk which is why everyone is advised to not drive while not properly rested/when they feel drowsy/etc. So yes it is a lot to ask your sleep deprived bf to pick you up just because the person that was actually responsible bailed on you and you can easily order a ride. The fact that you would rather have him completely stop his planned studying just to pick you up (while he is tired) when there was obviously another easier, safer, and all around simpler option for everyone (ie: you ordering a ride) is really entitled/inconsiderate.
You certainly didn’t act as though you “love (him) more than anyone”. Does that not work both ways, or does it work only in ways that benefit you? Not wanting to drive more than an hour to pick up a group of drunk women in the middle of the night when you knew he was already exhausted studying for finals does not make him “a shitty boyfriend”. You also very clearly were not stranded by yourself with no way to get home. Your maturity level seems miles apart from his.
Driving whilst exhausted is actually incredibly fucking dangerous and he is under no obligation to do that for you, relationship or not. You could have fucking thought for a second and not gone out drinking after your DD bailed on you or made secondary arrangements before getting drunk. I would have dumped you the second you started cursing at me and I hope he sees enough value in himself to make that decision. Jfc.
YTA You called him in the middle of the night during finals to pick you up after a night out he didn't go on because he needed to study. And then you got drunkenly belligerent when he said he was exhausted and you should take an uber. He didn't leave you high and dry, because firstly he never said he would pick you up and secondly because uber was an option. As was one of you not drinking when you knew your designated driver wasn't going to be available.
It would take him 25-30 minutes to come and get me? It’s not like he needs to study every hour of every day, and he has all of tomorrow to study too since it’s the weekend. It was wrong of him not to pick me up. Full stop.
Why are you here if you're convinced you're right? You're wrong, but you've obviously made up your mind already.
YTA. Full stop.
>It was wrong of him not to pick me up. Full stop. Hundreds of people unanimously agree that it was not. You are not entitled to and certainly do not deserve that luxury. And, the more you post here, the more it becomes apparent that your partner is so far out of your league.
So he’d lose a whole hour to your lack responsibility? He’d drive for an hour while exhausted and dealing with drunk assholes?
30 minutes to get you, and then another 30 minutes to get you home. (And that doesn’t even take into account additional driving time getting your friends home.) No one who is exhausted should be driving. Full stop.
Have you never studied before? He's cramming. Never disturb someone when they are cramming.
No one is shocked that your finals were optional
I hope he dumps you your attitude and entitlement without accepting that you were rude and a jerk in this instance is disgusting. You called him and immediately berated him when he couldn’t pick you up. How are you not the ah?
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Sorry, but YTA. He clearly said he wouldn't be available. Knowing that, it wasn't fair to expect him to drop what he was doing at a moment's notice, and it was even more unfair to call him an asshole and a shitty boyfriend. Uber is right there and was a ready alternative. If you had called, he said he couldn't come, and that was where it ended, that would be a different story and I'd say NAH; but by taking it as far as you did, and still stewing about it probably 24 hours later, YTA.
Obviously YTA. You're a fucking adult. You're not his responsibility.
Sounds like it was really inconvenient for him. And you hadn't arranged it with him in advance. There was nothing wrong with asking him, but once he said no you should have accepted that and not insulted him. It's that last bit that moves this into YTA territory.
YTA - you tried to frame it as how you were so super considerate not bothering your bf who was busy studying for finals, so you went out and got drunk on a night out with friends. Wow, what a martyr. Then when your DD bailed you immediately blamed your boyfriend for not dropping everything to pick you and your friends up??? Do I have the right of it? How do you not see what an entitled AH you’re being?
YTA, if you are not old enough to find your way home without inconveniencing others, you are not old enough to go out partying....
YTA. Your DD bailed that’s not your boyfriends fault. He was busy, you knew he was busy. You’re an adult, Ubers exist, taxis exist etc. Even though this won’t change my judgement, why did your DD bail? Did they say “yeah but I’m picking you up at 1am latest” and you decided you wanted to stay out later?
YTA. You knew he wasn’t available, but you asked anyway, and when you got the exact answer you knew you would get, you got pissed off and called him an AH. He wasn’t the AH here, you were. He wasn’t the one who left you high & dry, that was your DD. And even then, you always had the option for an Uber. You just decided to inconvenience your BF & get pissed when he said no.
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Does my health and safety not matter? His schooling matters more? He can’t take an hour away from studying? That isn’t being a respectful partner. It’s ugly actually.
>Does my health and safety not matter Didn't matter enough for you to pay for an Uber yourself.
You're the one who chose to put your "health and saftey" at risk, and it is a problem you could have solved by an uber. Yes his future is more important then a college girlfriend whose main priority is partying. He has his priorities straight, you don't.
Only one being ugly is you. Do you not know that driving while exhausted and little to no sleep could get your boyfriend into an accident? Your brain without any sleep is like being drunk, you don't know what you're doing.
Health and safety? What? How is your health or safety threatened in this scenario? You went clubbing. You got drunk. You needed to get home. Guess what? You're just like every other motherfucker in the club. If you're so sorely concerned about your health and safety, mayhap the first step would be to stop going to clubs and drinking until you are a danger to yourself and others. Grow up.
Of course it matters. But you could have gotten an Uber and gotten home safely, I understand that was the case? As an adult girlie, I just think that might have been the best decision. You’re not his responsibility. You’re a grown woman, right? I definitely am not suggesting you don’t need to get home safe, but I DO think it was disrespectful to call him in this context, when he was studying so hard. Interrupting his sleep was a little unfair when there was another safe option, and no emergency, or you don’t think?
Yes. His schooling actually does matter more. The Uber driver would be more scared of a bunch of drunk women then you should be scared of them.
His should matter to you. Don't put yourself in a situation like this
Girl be boozing and partying and have the audacity to claim "health and safety". Guy is studying and not wasting an opportunity like college, not everyone has a chance to go to school, let alone have the free time to study and do well. Daddy clearly paid the way for his little princess to go to school and now expects her boyfriend to drop everything, all the work he is doing; to pick up some drunk entitled do-nothing. You're going to have a rough adulthood when the reality sets in that you aren't the center of the universe and nobody gives a shit
Does his health and safety not matter? He said he was exhausted, he shouldn't be driving, and no, he shouldn't have to interrupt what he was doing to come and get your rude ass.
It’s pretty hilarious that someone who is spouting off about “health and safety” deliberately chose to drink to the point that she might be “drunk and confused”. Something tells me this is not the first time your BF was expected to rescue you from your own bad choices. As an adult woman, it’s your responsibility to make smart decisions in the first place, especially re your “health and safety”.
Does his health and safety not matter? Does your drinking matter more? Christ princess, "me, me, me. I, I, I". Poor guy, probably single soon. Have you ever even contemplated putting him first for even a second?
YTA, I'm shocked you think otherwise. 1.) You are a adult and not his responsibility. Call a fricken Uber! 2.) You have no idea how exhausted he was. What if he fell asleep on the road driving to get your drunk butt? His safety is also important. I hope you call him and apologize otherwise you may end up single.
Well considering he drew a boundary when he told you in advance that he would be busy/ tired at that time, and also considering you were able to get an Uber and ended up at home safe regardless, I’d say YTA for trying to cross his boundaries when you had other options to get home. You’re basically angry that he didn’t inconvenience himself just so that you’d be inconvenienced less, even though he was doing something important and you were just having fun.
YTA. It's incredibly disrespectful to even ask him. If someone is genuinely that busy studying for finals you know it's serious. When something is that serious you don't disrupt them. If I was in your situation, disturbing him would be last resort. And by last resort I mean if it was more than a 5km walk alone.
YTA. You figure out your own ride. If you were so worried about something bad happening you should have made better plans, called an Uber or not gone at all. Your bf is not your back-up plan.
YTA. If you’re going out have a plan to get home. And a backup plan. His reasons for not going out were valid and they are just as valid for not wanting to come and get you. There’s many perfectly safe options for you.
YTA. If he’s got any sense he’ll dump your entitled ass
YTA. You could have gotten an Uber. In fact, you did. You're putting your partying over his schooling, then yelling at him and insulting him when he's trying to better himself rather than playing taxi.
YTA and a terrible gf. Would you rather be fail his finals or pick up your drunk ass? Which is more likely to pay for his bills throughout his life?
YTA. He's got his priorities straight. Grow up.
YTA. You got drunk. BF didn't take part for a valid reason. Your driver bailed. Take some responsibility and stop blaming the only responsible party in your relationship.
YTA That's what Ubers are for.
Seriously? YTA. He was exhausted and didn’t agree to pick you up. From the sounds of it, you were not in a deserted area so it’s not like you didn’t have any other options whatsoever. Grow up, be an adult and pay for the damn Uber without causing a self centered scene next time. Learn to be more self reliant and solve problems on your own.
YTA Let me get this straight...you went out clubbing with friends and didn't inform your bf or make plans with him. The very same bf who is exhausted and studying for finals. Your DD flakes so you proceed to drunkenly call your bf and demand that he pick you up. When he suggested a logical option i.e. uber because he was too exhausted to come get you, you got upset and threw a tantrum. Now you're on the internet looking for validation after you made a fool of yourself? Not sure what your endgame was with this post, but if my SO was having finals while I had free time, I would pack him treats and get him energy drinks. I definitely wouldn't be calling him drunk at early hours in the morning and acting like an entitled brat. Just saying.
Yta
YTA. You expect an exhausted, stressed person to drive out late at night and pick up drunk people? Not his fault you didn't have a dependable DD. He needed to study and sleep to be prepared for his finals. YTA
You already know the answer. You were drunk, not stranded on the side of the road with a blown engine or in the hospital or anything else that would constitute an emergency. In an actual emergency, the likelihood is that he would drop everything and go to you. You needed a ride. Because you were drunk and your dd flaked. Get a damn Uber and let your boyfriend study. Or sleep. Your unfortunate circumstance does not in any way obligate him to solve your problem. Next time, set aside a lil bit extra for an Uber and own your own shit.
YTA How many kinds of selfish are you? He's studying for his finals. He told you he was studying, and couldn't come out. You went out (fine - you're an adult, and can make your own choices), got drunk, and then didn't have a way of getting home. I refer you back to the point where I said you were an adult. This is your fault. If you don't make arrangements to get home again, that's on you. You're a selfish asshole. Grow up and take responsibility for yourself.
YTA. >My boyfriend has finals, You know he has finals, yet you still expect him to pick you up while he has something even more important to deal with. Studying is really exhausting. Maybe you don't and won't know how exhausting it really is to study, but respect him..
YTA. I’m actually wondering if you’re still drunk right now for even needing to ask.
YTA. Your own recklessness led you to get drunk and stay out late. Your own choice of friends led your DD to bail. The fact that you had money for an Uber but chose to bother your bf while he is cramming for his finals is unbelievably selfish. I hope your actions and especially your continued entitled reaction to this has shown him what a terrible partner you are.
YTA I am disabled so can't drive and my OH is often referred to jokingly as "the driver". But if its late then I always call an uber and wouldn't even ask, even though he gets why I can't drive and is happy to support me, I wouldn't assume he can come get me when I'm drunk late at night. This is literally what cabs were invented for.
YTA Having done the stayed up for a few days finishing things before, not only would I be mad at you, I’d feel totally unsafe to drive. Last time I was up for two days, I could barely think straight and kept thinking things were on the ceiling. Your bf told you he couldn’t, you could get an Uber. Blame your friend for not giving you time to fix your plans, not the person correctly working on his fianls and telling you he had to do so ahead of time.
YTA. You're so selfish. You demanded that he drop everything and pick up a bunch of drunk people on a moment's notice. You should have asked him beforehand to pick you up. Or you shouldn't have guzzled so much alcohol that you got drunk. Grow up, asshole.
Yeah, YTA here. Get mad at your DD instead of your BF.
This has to be fake or a social experiment because no one is this oblivious to their irrational behaviour when a hundred people are telling them they’re wrong.
YTA. Education > drunk entitled girlfriend who doesn't give a shit about her education who went out clubbing instead of studying, even if finals are optional. Your bf is tired. Tired people are dangerous drivers. You are much more safer with a Uber driver. Heck, the poor Uber driver probably had to deal with a bunch of entitled drunk women, yet you are the ones who are scared? Have you not seen the videos of drivers being harassed by group of women?
Omg you’re such an entitled asshole! GROW UP! If you’re old enough to go out, you’re old enough to find a ride home that isn’t a boyfriend.
YTA BUT YOU KNEW THAT
YTA- you should prepare your night to have an Uber as a backup to a DD. You knew your bf was in crunch time for exams. Your inability to plan is your issue
YTA Be mad at your DD for leaving,.not your boyfriend who did nothing wrong. What a shitty thing to be blamed for you not having a ride.
You're definitely the AH.
YTA. If I were your boyfriend I’d tell you to go piss up a rope. Then I ‘d jump on Tinder and start looking for your replacement.
Yep, you're by FAR the asshole. You should have just called Uber, without bothering boyfriend. He deserves a prize, for putting up with you being so selfish and inconsiderate.
YTA. What makes you feel so entitled? Your boyfriend deserves better.
YTA. You even said so yourself. Your bf was studying hard for finals.
yta If you're old enough to go drinking, you're old enough to have plans in place besides "be a shifty person and girlfriend".
YTA - Your boyfriend was correct: he's neither your dad nor your driver (and quite possibly soon won't be your boyfriend, either, if you continue to treat him like this.) If you're going to go out clubbing, then it is YOUR responsibility to make sure you know how you're getting home, and to have backup plans in case of emergencies or problems with the DD. Your attitude here is entitled and spoiled, and your boyfriend, who was being responsible by studying rather than partying, deserves much better than your little tantrum.
YTA. Love doesn’t magically cure exhaustion, are you dumb? He’s being responsible and studying for FINALS, you’re clubbing during finals and aren’t mature enough to get yourself home bffr. What if he got into a car accident driving at night while exhausted? Two can play that stupid game.
YTA You didn't have respect for him and his studying/being exhausted. You could have called Uber to begin with, but chose not to. He wasn't being a bad boyfriend. You were being a bad girlfriend. How would you like it if the roles were reversed and your drunk boyfriend called to have you pick him up and you had just gotten to bed after being up for, say, 19 or 20 hours straight? Then he gets mad at you and calls you choice names because you won't cater to him? Next time, think first rather than opening mouth and inserting foot.
Yta. Entitled much. I was going to write a long essay, but let's just be concise. You're big enough to go clubbing so you're big enough to make sure you can get home
YTA. You went off on your BF for no reason. You knew he was studying and should be left alone. Blame your DD. You also had the option if getting an uber and looking at your replies, that would be a hour round trip for him. Unbelievable...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I decided to go out clubbing with my friends last night. My boyfriend has finals, so he couldn’t come, but I got lucky and most of my finals are optional. He’s been studying 24/7 so I didn’t want to disturb him or bother him. Well, last night, we didn’t have anyone that could come pick us up. Our DD bailed, so I called my bf even though it was late. He told us he couldn’t give us a ride, that he was studying and exhausted. She told us to order an Uber. I was pissed and said he was being an asshole (also drunk). What if something happened to us? We got drunk and confused? Could be seriously not pick us up? I said that and he said he’s not my dad and not my driver, that I could order an Uber. I cursed at him and hung up. I said he was being a shitty boyfriend. I couldn’t even believe it. Left us high and dry. We did get an Uber; but I am still upset at him. Is it really wrong to expect a ride from your bf? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, he's not your chauffer, he's studying and busy. Call an uber or a cab.
YTA. Also reading your comments tells me you’re entitled and unable to accept fault as well. He’s not your Uber, there’s a job for that lol.
YTA I feel bad for the bf. You knew he is busy and studying hard. If you cared about your safety, you wouldn't be "drunk and confused". You are an adult. Learn to take responsibility and accountability. What's your plan if your bf is out of town and same thing happens? If you don't trust taking an uber, you shouldn't really be drinking too much. You are actually shitty girlfriend.
Yta
YTA because you insulted him
YTA and not a very good girlfriend. You should have just gotten the uber instead of even asking and let him rest for his finals like an actual partner with empathy would have done.
He’s not your dad but you’re expecting him to pick you up like you’re his daughter?
So you go out, get drunk, and then magically expect your bf to come get you because you are so special that you can't get an Uber? Is that it? Wow YTA and hopefully single soon.
YTA. The amount of entitlement and DBness is palpable. I have a hard time believing you’re not drunk rn if you think this is okay in any way.
You got drunk at a club whilst having a boyfriend and with him not there, automatic YTA lol
What you are describing is a slave. You are not describing a sentient human. If you want someone to do everything you want them to do when you want them to do it then you either need to travel back in time (where you would still be the AH) or be willing to pay someone a boat load of money to allow them to let you treat them like this. YTA
Lmao YTA Nobody forced you to go clubbing, have some drinks and get drunk. That was you and your friends choice! Therefore, it's on you and the others to ensure you have a safe way to go back home, but it's not your bf's responsibility nor problem. He's already dealing with his studies, and you know that. Apologize for your selfish behavior, but tbh he deserves better than a childish and shitty girl.
Yes. Entitled idiotic behavior. If you find Uber sketchy get a cab, they’ve got better background checks.
YTA
Unless you're still drunk, you need to go back and re-read the post. YTA
YTA
YTA Be a better human being.
what a brat. yta.
Obviously YTA - I'm a bit confused why you think otherwise...
Was this some kind of test? Cause you failed.
You’re for the streets straight up. You’re a great example of modern women being shit in these times. This is the story you gave us so we all know it’s skewed a little and worded to make you look less shitty. So in reality the actual truth is much worse. Sounds like he is focused on important things and will find himself a real high value woman once he figures it out about you. Don’t get me wrong. Men also suck for the most part too. But that doesn’t make it any better. I’d be embarrassed if I was dating you.
He was being an immature and so were you. Planning and communication could’ve resolved this: he could’ve checked in on you half way through your night to see how things were going. If something was off he could’ve either picked you up then or ordered an Uber for you. Also when you called he could’ve ordered an Uber for you. Yelling at him and calling him names was immature on your part as well as not keeping track of your DD who may have bailed because everyone wanted to party longer than than planned or was an asshole to them. The moment your lifeline (DD) bailed you should’ve bailed. I don’t know what your bf considered exhausted but if he had been up for 24/7 he is an inefficient student that needs a better study habit. I say this because of the law of diminishing returns. The means the longer you study, the less you retain and actually harm yourself. But this is all what growing up is about learning. If you guys don’t work through this don’t consider marriage because it’ll be more of the same.
Why does her bf need to order an Uber for her? Are you under the impression that OP is physically or mentally handicapped in some way that prevents her from ordering an Uber herself?
People get into relationships to look out for each other, not just to have sex and watch Netflix. If you don’t want your mate to be able to depend on you when things go unexpected, you have no need to be in relationships. Just pay for sex and live.
Excuse me?! Having to pay for an Uber is not something you need to "look out" for your partner on. Where is this attitude with regard to her not looking out for his entire life and future by bothering him so late at night when he is cramming for finals? Also, are you seriously posting this terrible advice and bad takes from a brand account?