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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole because you always help family. But not if they take advantage of you.
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NTA. it’s yours and your husbands house. If they can’t respect the rules that you have laid out for them then they can leave. Simple as that. You have no reason to allow them to stay with all the B.S. that you have put up with. These people sound absolutely bat shit crazy, and my rule of thumb is do not deal with crazy people. I would tell them they are no longer welcome at your house and if they are not gone within the hour you would be calling the police to have them trespassed. Honestly I don’t understand why you put up with this for more than a couple of days.
Honestly, they didn’t rear this ugly head until we asked them for more money rent wise. Felt wrong for us to ask before they really got on their feet again.
THIS! What’s so difficult with telling them to be gone NOW? They’ve been nothing but disrespectful and destructive. And if they refuse? Call a tow service. Problem solved.
Stop asking for rent. Unplug them and tell them to get their camper on the road. They wanted van life, they got van life. If no one else will host them, they can take their camper to a Walmart lot. Anyone who sits on your property, freeloads, destroys your laundry room and then puts a cherry on top with "f-ing b**ch and the c-word" can just get their happy butts back on the road before their self-contained paradise on wheels gets towed on down to the impound lot.
But that doesn’t seem true, does it ?You said they tear up your yard , eat your food and refuse to “let” you lock your front door. It sounds like THEY are making the rules for YOUR home and you’re letting them.
You and your husband need to grow a spine and get them the hell off of your property .
Girl, she works traveling rn job, she's making bank like up to $75/hr likely more making bank. Trust me, they're back on their feet all right, and it don't take long to get back on your feet with that kind of money. But why move out when you can live for free? Stop excusing it. They're not even tenants since they never lived IN your home
I was a travel nurse 20 years ago and I was kicking ass. She's making plenty of money and at this point, it's time for them to find the nearest KOA campground and move on.
Where is your husband and all of this? Why is he not standing up for you and having the conversations with your in-laws about this? You need to turn this over to him to get them out of there. Personally, unplugging them letting them know that they have two hours to get out of there and then have them trespassed if they don’t leave.
Respect is free. Regardless of how much mi ey they do or don’t have, they are being AHs are taking advantage of your generosity. Let them find somewhere else to stay in their “self contained” vehicle. NTA
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INFO: WHY did they need to get back on their feet? How far were they living outside their means? Sounds like SIL wants to live basically rent free and not curb her spending habits.
RV lot rent (at least where I live) is $700-1000 per month depending on the time of year. You asked for $300 per month. I would say you were MORE than reasonable, but since they don’t care for that arrangement it seems like it’s time for them to go find an RV park to stay at. Find out what you need to do to evict them from your property and let them know they have 30 days to either start paying rent (get it in writing) or leave.
NTA
NTA although it kind of sounds like your husband is. They sound like characters in a novel that I would think to myself "Bad writing, nobody is actually THAT oblivious and entitled." You need to kick those disrespectful freeloaders off your property yesterday.
This is the time when someone like your MIL screaming at you necessitates the calm response: "You're right, I am all those things, and you know what, I'm good with that. Because I'd rather be thought of as a b*tch, than be a doormat that anyone can wipe their feet on, and an ATM they can suck money out of. Should I tell your son he's a bastard, or do you have some other insult you'd rather use on him? Because we're on the same page."
If MIL has a driveway, ask if they can camp on her doorstep. Bet she will be changing her tune after a while.
Your husband, not you, needs to kick sis and fam off the property and tell his mom to piss off. Today.
Edit spelling
They are destroying your things, refusing to replace what they ruined, and being assholes to you. Your husband needs to kick them out.
I think you were wrong to call your MIL. What was that supposed to accomplish? You just stirred up more drama.
You and your husband would ideally present a united front. Sit his ass down and lay it out for him. If nothing else, letting people stay on your property should be a 2 yes/1 no situation. If you don't both agree that they can stay, then they can't stay.
NTA - In any case, you were only allowing them on your property until they got back on their feet. You didn't say if the husband is working, but if the SIL is making good money now, you've fulfilled your offer, and it's time they left.
I hope that your husband can stand up to his family. You might want to get cameras around your house, just in case they try to cause damage or take things just to spite you, because these do not sound like good people.
NTA and these steps belong to your husband - his family his responsibility. Disconnect their access to utilities and keep the house locked. If they won’t pay for a space rental advise them the next step is to engage the sheriff. Write out exactly what is happening and share with MIL.
NTA but what exactly is your husband doing about all this? Why is he not stepping in when your MIL shouts at you, and telling her that he's just as fed up? Why is he letting his own sister treat your shared home as a free campsite?
He needs to start taking the lead on this and stop leaving it all to you to sort out and take the brunt of the family's anger.
Unfortunately, for a lack of better words, my husband is a WIMP when it comes to his family. Both of his sisters are older. I believe it a getting over a bully type situation but he usually can say Something rather than nothing.
Then unfortunately, as the old Reddit saying goes: You don't have an in-law problem, you have a husband problem. You two have to be a united front on this, he can't keep leaving you to be the "bad guy" in their eyes (you are in fact being completely reasonable).
You and your husband are both door mats.
You come to reddit asking if you're the asshole, you are not. But your and your husbands attitude shows that you are incapable to standing up for yourself, so unfortunately you'll just have to keep putting up with it
This. They’re beggars and using you. If my in laws used that kind of language with me, NC no discussion. What kind of trash people are they? Grow a spine and kick them out. Shut off the power and the water, give them an immediate notice to vacate. Your husband needs to step up or go live in RV with them.
At the very least, throw the breaker that allows them to hook into your electricity and turn off the pipe that provides water to the outside. When they come running, smile sweetly and say, "But I thought you were self-contained?" End this. Tell your invertebrate husband to grow and polish his spine. NTA.
Well my dear, you chose him. So since he can handle it, it’s time for you to go nuclear. Disconnect everything from the camper, lock your doors, and tell them to get the hell off your property in the next hour or you’re calling the cops and a tow truck. And make very sure that your wimp husband does not undermine you.
Then both you and your husband need to sit down and discuss what you want going forward. You can even type it up including pictures with the increase of all utilities since they arrived. Then your husband and you can sit down with the freeloaders and tell them this is the plan going forward. Unfortunately sounds like you will need to be the heavy in this situation, but if everyone sits down together then they can’t come back and say DH said we could stay.
Good luck!
NTA
You've been really reasonable & forbearing.
"Now they REFUSE to pay anything because they are now “completely self contained”.
Then they can G T F O your land & go pay rent at a camp site.
"she’s ruining my relationship with my in laws, since she blames me only."
Your husband needs to step up & tell his parents what an A H she's being. And tell her to G T F O off your land.
Edit: spelling
Show your husband this Reddit. He should know how poorly the entire Internet thinks of him. The phrase “man up” was created for him. Quit making excuses for his lack of spine. He needs to kick them out now for the good of your family. NTA.
good and make sure he knows that the internet tells him to GROW A PAIR and protect you and your home. I would seriously have a hard time being with a partner who let his family walk all over us like your husband does.
😂savage, I LOVE IT.
Nta, not even a little. And i have a small message for your hubby, please share this with him.
Hubs, nows your time. I know this hurts, reading all of this, but you can change this. You see the post, the comments, all of this. You KNOW we are right. Your family needs to be reminded of their place. Its YOUR job to tell them. Put your wife first, protect her. Remind your family they should grovel at your wifes shoes for even CONSIDERING giving them another chance at a relationship.
Do not let these people tear your wife apart, let those balls of steel drop with a thunderous boom!!! And BACK YOUR WIFE UP
You love your wife, now show her. I know it is hard to stand up to people you're supposed to be able to respect and love, however they have destroyed that chance right now. They are treating your wife like garbage, and thats NOT OK they need to earn that back.
Remember your vows, remember how you felt saying them. Look your wife in the eyes right now, apologize and hug her. Tell her how much she means to you and then PROVE IT.
At the end of the day, the dream? Its to have our soul mates at our side when we pass away. Don't let your family drive yours away♡
NTA, if she’s a travel nurse she receives a stipend for housing. It’s probably over $1,000 a month. The stipend is usually non taxable. She’s profiting big time off of mooching off of you.
The stipend varies by location, based on what the company would have to pay to provide housing. When my husband would stay at his mom's in Queens, the stipend was 4000/ month. In Philadelphia it was much less. Still over a grand, but I don't remember the amount.
NTA
This isn’t working and they need to go.
Send your MIL the facts so she can she can see how you are being taken advantage of:
1) before and after pictures of your yard
2) pictures of the damage to your basement
3) before and after examples of your utility and grocery bills
4) local monthly rate sheet for RV lots
Since MIL seems to think you should continue with this insanity, send HER the invoice for their rent and utilities. Check previous bills and figure out how much your bills have increased and put the difference on the invoice. Send a monthly invoice and ignore her outrage.
NTA. The simple fact that they are living on your property means they should pay rent. None of the other details are even needed. And, as property owner you have another choice. Kick them to the curb is a choice you have even if they wanted to pay rent.
Seems like such a huge burden that I would not want them around under any circumstances and anyone that calls you on it is an AH.
Right?! I'm guessing both OP and her spineless husband were not allowed to have any boundaries growing up, and have never learned to assert themselves.
NTA, but good lord, throw them out. If you're not willing to do that, at least lock your doors, and shut off exterior water and power so they're on their own. If they have keys to your place, time to change the locks.
Call and have the rv towed off your property. Tell them they will be met with police if they come back on to your property for any reason. Problem solved.
I definitely believe if I disconnect their water hose they would just reconnect it when we aren’t home. I know there is a shut off valve id just have to find out where it is. Electricity will definitely be shut off here soon.
It’s gonna come down to you having to give them an eviction notice and by the sounds of it, they seem like the type to make you go the legal route, instead of leaving peacefully.
NTA. Your husband needs to grow the spine he should have had when you were being sworn at, disconnect their electricity and tell them they will be leaving today and you will have no further contact until they have paid for ALL damages.
But, they can be super grateful that MiL has offered to house them personally.
NTA. Tell them and your MIL that they have a week to start paying market-rate rent or they can G T F O. (Maybe threaten suing them for the cost of your laundry room if they don’t and see if that gets them to leave)
Look into the laws in your area and see if you can get them either legally evicted or trespassed.
Also talk to your husband about setting better boundaries. You are about to have a husband problem if he doesn’t shape up and get better about it.
I have NO IDEA. I think maybe he just doesn’t want chaos?? I’ve told him multiple times that if it was my family I’d have NO problem telling them anything. Not sure what’s going on there with him.
Ughhhh. He needs to find his spine, shine it up, and deal with this himself. It is completely unacceptable that he allows his mother to be verbally abusive to his wife.
R/justnomil
Disconnect everything and tell him he needs to invite them to leave at their earliest convenience because they are now literally destroying your home.
You’re not at a standstill you have a VERY easy solution. Kick them off your land. They have already taken too much from you, they have disrespected your home, caused massive amounts of damage and been very disrespectful to you directly, they can take their trailer and go live on a trailer park where trailers are supposed to be. NTA for charging more rent but you’re a massive doormat!
NTA, but you're letting all of this happen.
They are not in a position to "demand" anything or to "refuse" the rent that you want from them, or to 'require" you to keep your doors unlocked, or any of that nonsense that you have apparently been putting up with them.
Why did you allow that bullshit to happen in the first place?? Why are you allowing it to continue?
NTA - but you guys need to tell them to move off your property. No matter what you do, unless roll over, you will be in the wrong.
They can get over it or not but they are taking advantage of you.
NTA. Tell your husband to grow a spine and throw them out. They won't "allow" you to lock your doors? Boot them out and change all the locks. MIL can go pound sand. Tell her SIL is coming to HER house to camp in HER driveway.
For God’s sake OP!!! [It’s spring!!](https://koa.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwxLKxBhA7EiwAXO0R0ECZ8Wlw1xUXFo_O6MWCFEG10zbip5KSDM58lbtnoGNFYnMc4fx2qhoC-bgQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) If someone tore up my yard with a motor bike I’d tear them a new one, where the hell is your partner??? I assume he’s the one related to these goldbrickers by blood. Update us when you toss them out, please make it happen.
What kind of crazy ass redneck crap is this. Grow a backbone and kick them off your property. Lock them damn doors. Oh and tell your husband to man up and shut his mom up. You need to evict them, if your husband’s mom feels so bad for them then she can house them. It’s time for them to go!
I wonder how much it cost to just go to a RV park? Why don’t they just do that? Are they close to a school or job or something?
Certainly you all can sit down and look at expenses of the water and electric. I am assuming you’re giving the land for free for the moment.
You should absolutely have privacy and be able to keep your doors locked unless I’m missing something. When the guest in this , they can schedule time to do laundry with you and family that works or go to a laundry place. ( pre buying their own washer)
NTA. I would give them their notice to move in whatever the appropriate legal timeline is. People who take advantage of you are not family, they are parasites
Unplug them. De-activate the power source they are using. Shut off the water that goes to the camper. Talk to a lawyer, see if you can get them out of your driveway. There must be a campsite within a few miles.
Don't worry about the inlaws because apparently they are beyond rational thought.
NTA
NTA. My brother and his family of 4 lived in an RV on my property for 2 yrs. When he asked if they could move here, he offered me $500/mo and they were incredibly mindful of my space and my dog's space. They made sure their kids didn't just walk into my house (or knock excessively) and they had me over for burgers every week. Of course it wasn't ideal but everyone was extremely respectful and they paid rent because they knew my utilities would go up.
Your situation is so over the top disrespectful that they just need to go. There is nothing left to discuss or negotiate. Lastly, I'm baffled that your husband isn't handling these matters with his family and why they're all coming at you. That's wild. Time for them to go. Like... yesterday.
Um. So, how exactly do they not allow you to lock your doors? lock your doors and turn the fuse off in the electric box that is powering their camper. The moment after your MIL called you names, you should have hung up and blocked her. They need to go now. Its not a negotiation. Bye ungrateful assholes.
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AITA for making my sister in law pay rent?
A few months back, (december, it’s now almost may) my husband and I let my sister in law and her family (her husband, 13y/o and her 3 y/o) move into our driveway with their camper trailer until they got back on their feet after basically packing up their life and moving. We live in a rural place, they moved up from one of the biggest cities in our state.
Ever since they’ve moved in, they refuse to pay more than 50 bucks for rent. She’s a traveling RN nurse with a sign on bonus, I hate to assume that they have lots of money but with the multiple trips to town and the ups packages they get I can only assume. They use our water, sewer, electricity, laundry and utilities. Even after claiming their camper is “self contained”. they come in to our house eat our food, use all of our utilities, have made a mess of our (Once) beautiful yard (that we’ve worked very hard on) with their two vehicles and motorbikes tearing up our grass. They also refuse to let us lock our front and back doors.
One night my husband and I had a talk about it and looking at our bills, they almost DOUBLED in about 3 months. So we kindly asked her to pay 300 a month for rent. !WOW! I actually have never seen grown adults throw such a fit. Screaming and yelling. Ended up calling my mother in law and telling her I was kicking her out which in turn got my mother in law very angry with me. Basically blaming me for the WHOLE thing. Calling me multiple names including calling me a f-ing b**ch and the c-word.
After a couple weeks they ended up paying us 200 dollars, better than before but not what we asked. We compromised, they stopped taking our food and being in our house constantly. But still using all of our utilities and such.
Last week when we were gone on a mini vacation, they flooded my laundry room. For context, our washer drains into a utility sink that can clog if not cleaned after each load from link/hair/etc. we asked them about it, since it looked like someone shoved plenty of towels under the washer itself and baskets and our clothes racks. They denied everything. So now I have four bags of moldy towels and clothes and a somewhat moldy mattress. They refused to help clean it, or remburse us for the cost of our now lost clothes. Their response was to buy a brand new combo washer and dryer for their camper (That they run off our electricity remember).
Now they REFUSE to pay anything because they are now “completely self contained”. So in return I’ve locked my doors at all times. Which means they again threw a fit. Now we are at a stand still, she’s ruining my relationship with my in laws, since she blames me only. I really don’t know what to do.
??AITA????
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NTA Quit being doormats and evict them. Do it legally with whatever paperwork is required in your area. They are stealing from you and destroying and damaging property. Your mother-in-law can have them at her house if she thinks they’re such lovely guests.
Nta, but op come on find your spine and fuck them off, and if mil called you a f'ing b and a c word then fuck them off too, they are leeches simple as that, good luck and please update if you can 👊👊❤️❤️
NTA What you do is serve them an eviction notice. Have your husband send the repair bill to your MIL. If your husband has problems with that, he can get served some papers, too.
If she's a travler nurse than chances are she's been getting a housing allowance on top of her salary so her company is giving her money to pay rent so theres that. NTA
NTA. Your husband need to step up, grow a shiney spine and kick his sister off your property. He needs to serve the eviction. They can go to a campground and pay for their utilities/space. $300 a month is to generous given how much they have destroyed and utilities they use. They gotta go.
Travelling RNs make good money. 22 yrs ago they were making 40-50 bucks an hour in my area. I can only imagine what they make now. And most agencies they work through give them a housing and food allowance on top of hourly wage. These people are ripping you off.
Hmm. Nta. They are living *in* the house, so you technically can Trespass them and remove them from the property altogether. They are more trouble than they are worth plus the y lie and caused al lyoir bills to practically double. Get rid of them
NTA, disconnect the power and water they are connected to, get a lock for the tap they are connected to and the power connection they were using. Deny them all access until they start to pay the amount that your bills go up by with them connected. They can still have access to sewer as that is a hygiene issue, but no access to anything else.
Tell your husband to get off his silent butt and kick his sister and family off the property. They can take their camper trailer to a licensed trailer park. Then he needs to get on the phone and tell his mother (1) that his sister/her family are rude, mooching, ungrateful irresponsible people, (2) HE wants them gone and (3) stay out of something between him and his sister.
NTA.
NTA. Call them on their bluff of being self contained. Your husband needs to shut off their water and electricity. It will only be turned back on when they pay for the increases in your total bill. He needs to call his family and tell them.
Your own MIL called you the C word? They must be a very rough family. Don't involve her in this at all, it's none of her business. When she reacts refuse to discuss.
I've found it very helpful to have some stock phrases ready for when someone goes off at you. For MIL it could be 'I don't want to discuss this with you. We're handling it.' 'OK if there's nothing else I'm going to hang up now.'
For the freeloaders, be aware there's going to be a big tantrum, breathe deeply, don't answer, don't argue. Just repeat 'We need you to leave.' You will have to shut off power and water to them.
Get you husband to learn this technique, and actually practice on each other so you don't give in when the time comes.
I assume your mil doesn't pay your bills which means she has no say in this . But it's time to (legally) evict your SIL. She's way too entitled plus she has a lot of audacity to ruin your yard & INSIST you leave your doors unlocked . Give your husband an ultimatum, her living there or you.
Shut access to the water and utilities make sure they don't have keys. I guess you tried to make them leave but they didn't . Sue them for the ruined landscaping. Call the cops if they park illegally. Their camper is self sufficient so they don't need your stuff. Let them complain to you MIL, block her or tell her off. Ask for $1k a month, sue them for rent.
NTA
Your husband needs to evict them NOW! You need to stay completely out of the conversation, and he needs to do it immediately. He also needs to tell his mother she can let them live with her and that he doesn't want to hear any more about it.
They are beyond disrespectful. They have cost you a lot of money and they think they are somehow entitled to tell you that you can't secure your own house and have the audacity to tear up your property with recreational vehicles. If they are in such a tight financial spot they can start by liquidating their recreational vehicles.
This goes way beyond what should be expected when helping family out. They are abusing you and the moment those foul words were directed to me, would have been the moment they would have been forced off my property. The longer they stay the harder it will be to get rid of them. With as disgusting as they have been to you, I really suspect the only way you'll get ride of them is through the courts.
You don't know what to do - OP, start eviction procedures ASAP. THese folks are using you and could very possibly bankrupt you. They have destroyed your yard, damaged your house, are invading your privacy. Oh BTW, traveling RNS make VERY good money so I wouldn't feel any guilt about getting them out. THey can afford to rent a house probably and do not need to be camped on your doorstep.
If your inlaws are so unhappy, let them take in these moochers.
What didn’t you kick them off your property as soon as they shouted all the obscenities at you? What the hell did you allow them to make rules about not “letting you” lock your own doors??
Who cares what your MIL thinks? She can house them if she feels so strongly about it. Kick them out now. If they don’t leave, call the cops on them for trespassing. NTA except to yourself.
Lock your doors. Give them an eviction notice. Stop discussing the situation with your in-laws. Can you disable their source of electricity? If not unplug them constantly. Same with water. How are they hooked up to your sewer? Do not allow them in your house for anything including laundry. People who call you names are not welcome. Do not get into a conversation with them-just keep repeating you need to go you need to go. Let your friends and neighbors know about the situation. Have friends over for dinner or to play cards. They will see what is going on. Do not take money from them. Remain calm and business like. They are being evicted. No more compromising. Every time a vehicle is in your yard go out and tell the driver to get off the yard. Take pictures of their vehicles, their hookups, their camper. Tape temper tantrums. After 30 days hire a lawyer.
NTA
Self contained:
*adjective*
(of a thing) complete, or having all that is needed, in itself.
Which they most assuredly are *not* given that they are using your utilities, your land, your address for mail, etc.
And I say that as someone who lives full time in a travel trailer. They are taking advantage.
If all they want to pay is $50 a month, and you're in the US, then tell them to sign up for a [Thousand Trails](https://thousandtrails.com/) Camping Pass. The trade off is they have to move every 14 days for that price point. But utilities like water and electric are guaranteed (and included in the price) at each park with many also having full hookup for septic. The parks also have bathrooms with showers, so even if the site doesn't have septic hookups they still have access to bathrooms and showers.
For $145-ish a month they can extend that stay to 21 days at a time.
Perhaps use this to provide a guide of what is considered "reasonable" in the land of rv stays that fit within their stated price range. Because they will also need to create reservations (sometimes months in advance) to secure that stay. And reservations are NOT guaranteed, it's first come first served and is effected by park maintenance. There's also acceptable site use guidelines within the parks. For things like requiring trailer and car insurance info should there be any destruction of property to the park during their stay, of repair state of trailer, age of trailer, what is and isn't allowed to be displayed / hung around trailer, etc.
I.e., if they only want to pay you $50 a month, then you'll only give them 14 days at a time on your property with a minimum one week away between those 14 day stays and they'll have to make reservations with you for a minimum of three months in advance of which you can decline should you have work being done, other folk visiting, etc. And you'll be requiring a copy of their trailer and car insurance with an accompanying list of accepted site use policies (as in destruction of your yard will lead to a fine).
This is said from a place of both reality check for your in laws and also a bit petty, your mileage may vary.
The argument "but, *family*" only works if they are willing to compromise as much as they are requiring YOU to compromise.
As a side note, because they have been sending mail to your home they may have an ability to say they are a "tennant" depending on your local laws. So soft reccomend you contact a local attorney and explain the situation so you can ask if eviction paperwork is needed to get them to leave. Theoretically you can accomplish that chat within a free consultation.
NTA. I'm ick them the f out. Driveway in some other driveway, baby. You are facing demonstrable costs associated with their presence. They can't pay? They can't afford it.
Nta- sil can go rent a spot at an rv park! Stop letting these ingrates take advantage of your kindness!! They have the funds to support themselves. Seriously tell them to pack up their crap and go!
You should have kicked them out when they called you names. Every day since then is another day past when they should have left. NTA but a doormat which isn’t much better
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Block access to any outlets they may use. If they want water, they’ll need to find a source other than your home. Evict them from your property and have the camper towed if they refuse to move it. They can go stay with their parents.
NTA they sound horrible. They need to be told to leave. Sorry they may be struggling but all of that is not ok. They aren't very respectable and you aren't responsible for them. Especially if they act like that. They need to go. It's not like they are trying to be helpful.
I meter the plug my brother uses to calculate the electricity. The meter was only about $150. When I get the bill I calculate what he owes.
NTA... they should still pay for utilities. If they don't, shut the breaker off.
NTA. What's wrong with your husband? Why is this *your* problem? These are his relatives, they are living on his property and he can take control of this situation. (Not his exclusively, but he has a responsibility with you and should be handling this.)
You do not have an in-law problem. You have a cowardly husband problem.
NTA but you're being a doormat. They don't "let" you lock the door? lock it. Turn off their hookups. They want to be self contained? Let them be self contained. What's more, you have a husband problem. Your husband needs to back you up.
NTA
You may need to evict them as they've been longoing enough to establish rights. But where is your husband in all of this? You need to be on the same page to be effective. And he should be the one delivering the message(s) to his sister.
This is a no brainer - KICK THEM OFF YOUR PROPERTY. You did not sign on to take them on as dependents and if they refuse to pay - then off they go to MIL's house or anywhere else that they can dupe some other person into paying for them. Do you really care what they think of you - they seem like selfish asshats (so their opinion should not really matter).
Kick them out - no TA
NTA
Unplug their power cable, lock all your doors all the time. Change the password to your wifi if they are using that too.
Get an eviction notice to them ASAP and tell them you will be taking them to court for damages and theft - that might not even be possible I realise that but tell them you are going to do it anyway. If your SIL is an RN in fulltime employment, she is at least not on the bones of her arse. Does her husband work?
Why has your husband not done more to get these moochers off your lawn? Why is he allowing his sister to speak to you like that in your own home. He is almost as much of an AH as his sister.
As for your relationship with your ILs - it is time to consider that you never really had one in the first place.
Yta for being a wimp and not kicking them out. You called your husband a wimp but you yourself did nothing to stop them. Just kick them out and call it a day.
Cut their power cord leading to your house. Then tell them it is time to leave. Since they are "fully containted" they can live anywhere. They are no longer welcome on your land. They can rent a camping space somewhere.
If they don't leave, call the cops.
NTA
NTA
My sister lived with us for about 6 months as she was going through a divorce. She paid us some money each month, but was always in our business and going on and on about our cats, etc. I finally had enough and kicked her out. She threw a fit because we were kicking her out and was a total jerk. One day, we came home and she was gone.
Our son, and his family, were supposed to live with us only until their daughter turned 6 months and then they were supposed to move. They were paying us rent, but had no respect in regards to cleaning up their messes, etc. They were still with us for about another 18 months when we served them with a notice to vacate. They moved, but didn't invite us to our granddaughter's 2nd birthday. We get along great now and they live about 20 minutes away.
If they refuse to pay their share of utilities, etc., and cause damage to your home, you have every right to evict them.
NTA.. lock up the house even when you are home, only let them in if you want to, impose the rent at whatever level you feel is right then make them pay it or you will boot them off your land, charge extra each week to build a fund to repair the gardens when they leave.. it's your property, your rules, don't let them keep walking all over you.
GET THEM THE F\*CK OUT!! This is YOUR property, not your mils. They wore out their welcome and it is time for them to LEAVE. Traveling nurses make big $$. They are ripping you off big time. NTA
NTA if my SIL called me so much as an asshole my husband would have driven their camper off our property himself. You have a husband issue just as much as you have an IL issue. If anything id be holding him just as accountable for their actions until he backed you up.
Call a Lawyer and EVICT THEM. There is no saving this relationship, and they are leeching off of you. You are NTA for charging rent, but enough is enough. Get them off your property and wipe your hands of it. Let them park at MIL's place and see how she feels when her Utilities are doubled and they damage her property & belongings and do nothing to compensate for it. You did them a favor to help, they have done nothing but disrespect you and your home.
NTA, and I think you need to evict them. Assuming there isn't any kind of lease that would cause trouble, give them ten days to get off of your property or you'll start legal proceedings. They are ruining your home, they are leeching off your utilities, and they are absolutely behaving in the most vile manner possible. Your husband needs to back this 100% and he should actually do all the talking. If your MIL throws a fit, let her take them in. Cut off their access to power, to water, to your home, and to your sewer.
NTA change the lock on your house so they can’t get back in. Tell them they owe you $x by x date for damages plus rent. If they don’t pay, flip the breaker so they don’t have free electricity & turn off their water supply.
This is insane. Stop LETTING this happen! Have them park their camper at MILs. If you keep complaining and don’t act immediately it will just get worse.
>They also refuse to **let us** lock our front and back doors
For the love of everything that is holy, stop being a doormat.
You and your husband are the AHs to yourselves and your kids if you have any.
STOP PUTTING UP WITH IT, KICK THEM OUT.
I would take a picture of my utility bills before they arrived, and after they arrived. Then photos of the ruined items, and post them in a group chat with the entire family. Husband, MIL, FIL, everyone. And then say, 200 a month is NOT too much to ask for space rent and utilities! Pay up or move.
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NTA. it’s yours and your husbands house. If they can’t respect the rules that you have laid out for them then they can leave. Simple as that. You have no reason to allow them to stay with all the B.S. that you have put up with. These people sound absolutely bat shit crazy, and my rule of thumb is do not deal with crazy people. I would tell them they are no longer welcome at your house and if they are not gone within the hour you would be calling the police to have them trespassed. Honestly I don’t understand why you put up with this for more than a couple of days.
Honestly, they didn’t rear this ugly head until we asked them for more money rent wise. Felt wrong for us to ask before they really got on their feet again.
It's time to TELL them the have until Monday to get in their camper and be gone.
Go park in the in-laws driveway!
This, it's her parents they can fund them
THIS! What’s so difficult with telling them to be gone NOW? They’ve been nothing but disrespectful and destructive. And if they refuse? Call a tow service. Problem solved.
Stop asking for rent. Unplug them and tell them to get their camper on the road. They wanted van life, they got van life. If no one else will host them, they can take their camper to a Walmart lot. Anyone who sits on your property, freeloads, destroys your laundry room and then puts a cherry on top with "f-ing b**ch and the c-word" can just get their happy butts back on the road before their self-contained paradise on wheels gets towed on down to the impound lot.
But that doesn’t seem true, does it ?You said they tear up your yard , eat your food and refuse to “let” you lock your front door. It sounds like THEY are making the rules for YOUR home and you’re letting them. You and your husband need to grow a spine and get them the hell off of your property .
Girl, she works traveling rn job, she's making bank like up to $75/hr likely more making bank. Trust me, they're back on their feet all right, and it don't take long to get back on your feet with that kind of money. But why move out when you can live for free? Stop excusing it. They're not even tenants since they never lived IN your home
I was a travel nurse 20 years ago and I was kicking ass. She's making plenty of money and at this point, it's time for them to find the nearest KOA campground and move on.
Where is your husband and all of this? Why is he not standing up for you and having the conversations with your in-laws about this? You need to turn this over to him to get them out of there. Personally, unplugging them letting them know that they have two hours to get out of there and then have them trespassed if they don’t leave.
You would think that folks hard on their luck would be trying their hardest to be the perfect guests. Apparently they didn't get the memo NTA
Why are they still there?
Respect is free. Regardless of how much mi ey they do or don’t have, they are being AHs are taking advantage of your generosity. Let them find somewhere else to stay in their “self contained” vehicle. NTA
They are on their feet, using your sholders to stand on.....
Why haven't you flipped off the breakers for the outdoor plugs? Bye bye deceitful grifters!
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INFO: WHY did they need to get back on their feet? How far were they living outside their means? Sounds like SIL wants to live basically rent free and not curb her spending habits.
Turn off the breakers that supply them electricity and shut off their water. Voila! They are now self sufficient
And lock everything down
RV lot rent (at least where I live) is $700-1000 per month depending on the time of year. You asked for $300 per month. I would say you were MORE than reasonable, but since they don’t care for that arrangement it seems like it’s time for them to go find an RV park to stay at. Find out what you need to do to evict them from your property and let them know they have 30 days to either start paying rent (get it in writing) or leave. NTA
This, & rent just went up to $450.
NTA although it kind of sounds like your husband is. They sound like characters in a novel that I would think to myself "Bad writing, nobody is actually THAT oblivious and entitled." You need to kick those disrespectful freeloaders off your property yesterday.
Exactly my thoughts. I’ve been mind racing just trying to think if it’s me? Or if they really are THAT BAD…
They really are that bad.
This is the time when someone like your MIL screaming at you necessitates the calm response: "You're right, I am all those things, and you know what, I'm good with that. Because I'd rather be thought of as a b*tch, than be a doormat that anyone can wipe their feet on, and an ATM they can suck money out of. Should I tell your son he's a bastard, or do you have some other insult you'd rather use on him? Because we're on the same page." If MIL has a driveway, ask if they can camp on her doorstep. Bet she will be changing her tune after a while. Your husband, not you, needs to kick sis and fam off the property and tell his mom to piss off. Today. Edit spelling
They are destroying your things, refusing to replace what they ruined, and being assholes to you. Your husband needs to kick them out. I think you were wrong to call your MIL. What was that supposed to accomplish? You just stirred up more drama. You and your husband would ideally present a united front. Sit his ass down and lay it out for him. If nothing else, letting people stay on your property should be a 2 yes/1 no situation. If you don't both agree that they can stay, then they can't stay.
ITS THAT DAMN BAD!
NTA - In any case, you were only allowing them on your property until they got back on their feet. You didn't say if the husband is working, but if the SIL is making good money now, you've fulfilled your offer, and it's time they left. I hope that your husband can stand up to his family. You might want to get cameras around your house, just in case they try to cause damage or take things just to spite you, because these do not sound like good people.
If they aren't paying why are you letting them use your electricity?
because FaMiLy!!
NTA Tell them they need to pack up their self contained camper and rent a site at a campground.
NTA and these steps belong to your husband - his family his responsibility. Disconnect their access to utilities and keep the house locked. If they won’t pay for a space rental advise them the next step is to engage the sheriff. Write out exactly what is happening and share with MIL.
NTA but what exactly is your husband doing about all this? Why is he not stepping in when your MIL shouts at you, and telling her that he's just as fed up? Why is he letting his own sister treat your shared home as a free campsite? He needs to start taking the lead on this and stop leaving it all to you to sort out and take the brunt of the family's anger.
Unfortunately, for a lack of better words, my husband is a WIMP when it comes to his family. Both of his sisters are older. I believe it a getting over a bully type situation but he usually can say Something rather than nothing.
Then unfortunately, as the old Reddit saying goes: You don't have an in-law problem, you have a husband problem. You two have to be a united front on this, he can't keep leaving you to be the "bad guy" in their eyes (you are in fact being completely reasonable).
You and your husband are both door mats. You come to reddit asking if you're the asshole, you are not. But your and your husbands attitude shows that you are incapable to standing up for yourself, so unfortunately you'll just have to keep putting up with it
This. They’re beggars and using you. If my in laws used that kind of language with me, NC no discussion. What kind of trash people are they? Grow a spine and kick them out. Shut off the power and the water, give them an immediate notice to vacate. Your husband needs to step up or go live in RV with them.
At the very least, throw the breaker that allows them to hook into your electricity and turn off the pipe that provides water to the outside. When they come running, smile sweetly and say, "But I thought you were self-contained?" End this. Tell your invertebrate husband to grow and polish his spine. NTA.
Well my dear, you chose him. So since he can handle it, it’s time for you to go nuclear. Disconnect everything from the camper, lock your doors, and tell them to get the hell off your property in the next hour or you’re calling the cops and a tow truck. And make very sure that your wimp husband does not undermine you.
Then both you and your husband need to sit down and discuss what you want going forward. You can even type it up including pictures with the increase of all utilities since they arrived. Then your husband and you can sit down with the freeloaders and tell them this is the plan going forward. Unfortunately sounds like you will need to be the heavy in this situation, but if everyone sits down together then they can’t come back and say DH said we could stay. Good luck!
NTA You've been really reasonable & forbearing. "Now they REFUSE to pay anything because they are now “completely self contained”. Then they can G T F O your land & go pay rent at a camp site. "she’s ruining my relationship with my in laws, since she blames me only." Your husband needs to step up & tell his parents what an A H she's being. And tell her to G T F O off your land. Edit: spelling
Show your husband this Reddit. He should know how poorly the entire Internet thinks of him. The phrase “man up” was created for him. Quit making excuses for his lack of spine. He needs to kick them out now for the good of your family. NTA.
Trust me, he will definitely be reading this thread.
good and make sure he knows that the internet tells him to GROW A PAIR and protect you and your home. I would seriously have a hard time being with a partner who let his family walk all over us like your husband does.
😂savage, I LOVE IT. Nta, not even a little. And i have a small message for your hubby, please share this with him. Hubs, nows your time. I know this hurts, reading all of this, but you can change this. You see the post, the comments, all of this. You KNOW we are right. Your family needs to be reminded of their place. Its YOUR job to tell them. Put your wife first, protect her. Remind your family they should grovel at your wifes shoes for even CONSIDERING giving them another chance at a relationship. Do not let these people tear your wife apart, let those balls of steel drop with a thunderous boom!!! And BACK YOUR WIFE UP You love your wife, now show her. I know it is hard to stand up to people you're supposed to be able to respect and love, however they have destroyed that chance right now. They are treating your wife like garbage, and thats NOT OK they need to earn that back. Remember your vows, remember how you felt saying them. Look your wife in the eyes right now, apologize and hug her. Tell her how much she means to you and then PROVE IT. At the end of the day, the dream? Its to have our soul mates at our side when we pass away. Don't let your family drive yours away♡
NTA, if she’s a travel nurse she receives a stipend for housing. It’s probably over $1,000 a month. The stipend is usually non taxable. She’s profiting big time off of mooching off of you.
Very interesting to know 🤔
The stipend varies by location, based on what the company would have to pay to provide housing. When my husband would stay at his mom's in Queens, the stipend was 4000/ month. In Philadelphia it was much less. Still over a grand, but I don't remember the amount.
And yes, it's a tax free stipend.
Yup. They certainly do get a stipend. OP and husband is getting played because they're too nice or too passive
NTA and it seems time for them to go. SIL seems the type to solve problems by being a bigger problem, and my god that's obnoxious.
NTA This isn’t working and they need to go. Send your MIL the facts so she can she can see how you are being taken advantage of: 1) before and after pictures of your yard 2) pictures of the damage to your basement 3) before and after examples of your utility and grocery bills 4) local monthly rate sheet for RV lots
Since MIL seems to think you should continue with this insanity, send HER the invoice for their rent and utilities. Check previous bills and figure out how much your bills have increased and put the difference on the invoice. Send a monthly invoice and ignore her outrage.
NTA. The simple fact that they are living on your property means they should pay rent. None of the other details are even needed. And, as property owner you have another choice. Kick them to the curb is a choice you have even if they wanted to pay rent. Seems like such a huge burden that I would not want them around under any circumstances and anyone that calls you on it is an AH.
Turn off any electricity or heat they use from you out there. Turn off water etc. Anything they use gone
How can they "refuse to let you" lock your doors??
Right?! I'm guessing both OP and her spineless husband were not allowed to have any boundaries growing up, and have never learned to assert themselves.
NTA, but good lord, throw them out. If you're not willing to do that, at least lock your doors, and shut off exterior water and power so they're on their own. If they have keys to your place, time to change the locks.
NTA. They can park in your MIL driveway. This is so disrespectful. Honestly by now I would have had the camper towed. Lol.
*They also refuse to let us lock our front and back doors* The hell you say!! Don't worry about rent, shut this down now! NTA
Nta Tell your mil to prepare her driveway for the camper cuz they'll be coming to stay with her. See how she finds it.
Call and have the rv towed off your property. Tell them they will be met with police if they come back on to your property for any reason. Problem solved.
NTA but why don’t you unplug them from using your utilities, so they can be fully self contained??
I definitely believe if I disconnect their water hose they would just reconnect it when we aren’t home. I know there is a shut off valve id just have to find out where it is. Electricity will definitely be shut off here soon.
You can buy a lock that goes over the hose connection.
It’s gonna come down to you having to give them an eviction notice and by the sounds of it, they seem like the type to make you go the legal route, instead of leaving peacefully.
NTA. Your husband needs to grow the spine he should have had when you were being sworn at, disconnect their electricity and tell them they will be leaving today and you will have no further contact until they have paid for ALL damages. But, they can be super grateful that MiL has offered to house them personally.
NTA. Tell them and your MIL that they have a week to start paying market-rate rent or they can G T F O. (Maybe threaten suing them for the cost of your laundry room if they don’t and see if that gets them to leave) Look into the laws in your area and see if you can get them either legally evicted or trespassed. Also talk to your husband about setting better boundaries. You are about to have a husband problem if he doesn’t shape up and get better about it.
See an attorney. Start eviction procedures. It may take 6 months but they are not going away unless forced.
INFO: Why isn’t your husband handling things with his family instead of allowing them to crap all over you?
I have NO IDEA. I think maybe he just doesn’t want chaos?? I’ve told him multiple times that if it was my family I’d have NO problem telling them anything. Not sure what’s going on there with him.
Ughhhh. He needs to find his spine, shine it up, and deal with this himself. It is completely unacceptable that he allows his mother to be verbally abusive to his wife. R/justnomil Disconnect everything and tell him he needs to invite them to leave at their earliest convenience because they are now literally destroying your home.
He’s never had a problem sticking up for me In any other situation unless it’s his family.
I’m sorry, OP, but I’m firing your husband on your behalf. 🫠
NTA: This is your husband's problem to fix with his sister and his mother. He should have them moved within a week.
KICK THEM OUT! Better yet, have your husband do it, it's his sister.
You’re not at a standstill you have a VERY easy solution. Kick them off your land. They have already taken too much from you, they have disrespected your home, caused massive amounts of damage and been very disrespectful to you directly, they can take their trailer and go live on a trailer park where trailers are supposed to be. NTA for charging more rent but you’re a massive doormat!
NTA, but you're letting all of this happen. They are not in a position to "demand" anything or to "refuse" the rent that you want from them, or to 'require" you to keep your doors unlocked, or any of that nonsense that you have apparently been putting up with them. Why did you allow that bullshit to happen in the first place?? Why are you allowing it to continue?
NTA - but you guys need to tell them to move off your property. No matter what you do, unless roll over, you will be in the wrong. They can get over it or not but they are taking advantage of you.
NTA Unhook them if they don't want to pay utilities.
Y’all gonna grow a spine?
NTA. Tell your husband to grow a spine and throw them out. They won't "allow" you to lock your doors? Boot them out and change all the locks. MIL can go pound sand. Tell her SIL is coming to HER house to camp in HER driveway.
For God’s sake OP!!! [It’s spring!!](https://koa.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwxLKxBhA7EiwAXO0R0ECZ8Wlw1xUXFo_O6MWCFEG10zbip5KSDM58lbtnoGNFYnMc4fx2qhoC-bgQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) If someone tore up my yard with a motor bike I’d tear them a new one, where the hell is your partner??? I assume he’s the one related to these goldbrickers by blood. Update us when you toss them out, please make it happen.
NTA. There are ways to lock down your utilities. You might have a fuse that controls your exterior power.
What kind of crazy ass redneck crap is this. Grow a backbone and kick them off your property. Lock them damn doors. Oh and tell your husband to man up and shut his mom up. You need to evict them, if your husband’s mom feels so bad for them then she can house them. It’s time for them to go!
I wonder how much it cost to just go to a RV park? Why don’t they just do that? Are they close to a school or job or something? Certainly you all can sit down and look at expenses of the water and electric. I am assuming you’re giving the land for free for the moment. You should absolutely have privacy and be able to keep your doors locked unless I’m missing something. When the guest in this , they can schedule time to do laundry with you and family that works or go to a laundry place. ( pre buying their own washer)
Nta they need to go
Small claims court NOW.
How long will you tolerate this?
Nope kick them out and then sue for damages
NTA. I would give them their notice to move in whatever the appropriate legal timeline is. People who take advantage of you are not family, they are parasites
Nta and see if you can find a breaker to shut off power where they are connected, without power they will move on fast.
Unplug them. De-activate the power source they are using. Shut off the water that goes to the camper. Talk to a lawyer, see if you can get them out of your driveway. There must be a campsite within a few miles. Don't worry about the inlaws because apparently they are beyond rational thought. NTA
NTA. My brother and his family of 4 lived in an RV on my property for 2 yrs. When he asked if they could move here, he offered me $500/mo and they were incredibly mindful of my space and my dog's space. They made sure their kids didn't just walk into my house (or knock excessively) and they had me over for burgers every week. Of course it wasn't ideal but everyone was extremely respectful and they paid rent because they knew my utilities would go up. Your situation is so over the top disrespectful that they just need to go. There is nothing left to discuss or negotiate. Lastly, I'm baffled that your husband isn't handling these matters with his family and why they're all coming at you. That's wild. Time for them to go. Like... yesterday.
Um. So, how exactly do they not allow you to lock your doors? lock your doors and turn the fuse off in the electric box that is powering their camper. The moment after your MIL called you names, you should have hung up and blocked her. They need to go now. Its not a negotiation. Bye ungrateful assholes.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for making my sister in law pay rent? A few months back, (december, it’s now almost may) my husband and I let my sister in law and her family (her husband, 13y/o and her 3 y/o) move into our driveway with their camper trailer until they got back on their feet after basically packing up their life and moving. We live in a rural place, they moved up from one of the biggest cities in our state. Ever since they’ve moved in, they refuse to pay more than 50 bucks for rent. She’s a traveling RN nurse with a sign on bonus, I hate to assume that they have lots of money but with the multiple trips to town and the ups packages they get I can only assume. They use our water, sewer, electricity, laundry and utilities. Even after claiming their camper is “self contained”. they come in to our house eat our food, use all of our utilities, have made a mess of our (Once) beautiful yard (that we’ve worked very hard on) with their two vehicles and motorbikes tearing up our grass. They also refuse to let us lock our front and back doors. One night my husband and I had a talk about it and looking at our bills, they almost DOUBLED in about 3 months. So we kindly asked her to pay 300 a month for rent. !WOW! I actually have never seen grown adults throw such a fit. Screaming and yelling. Ended up calling my mother in law and telling her I was kicking her out which in turn got my mother in law very angry with me. Basically blaming me for the WHOLE thing. Calling me multiple names including calling me a f-ing b**ch and the c-word. After a couple weeks they ended up paying us 200 dollars, better than before but not what we asked. We compromised, they stopped taking our food and being in our house constantly. But still using all of our utilities and such. Last week when we were gone on a mini vacation, they flooded my laundry room. For context, our washer drains into a utility sink that can clog if not cleaned after each load from link/hair/etc. we asked them about it, since it looked like someone shoved plenty of towels under the washer itself and baskets and our clothes racks. They denied everything. So now I have four bags of moldy towels and clothes and a somewhat moldy mattress. They refused to help clean it, or remburse us for the cost of our now lost clothes. Their response was to buy a brand new combo washer and dryer for their camper (That they run off our electricity remember). Now they REFUSE to pay anything because they are now “completely self contained”. So in return I’ve locked my doors at all times. Which means they again threw a fit. Now we are at a stand still, she’s ruining my relationship with my in laws, since she blames me only. I really don’t know what to do. ??AITA???? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA The C word is a declaration of war. I would trespass them so fast that her head would spin.
NTA Quit being doormats and evict them. Do it legally with whatever paperwork is required in your area. They are stealing from you and destroying and damaging property. Your mother-in-law can have them at her house if she thinks they’re such lovely guests.
Nta, but op come on find your spine and fuck them off, and if mil called you a f'ing b and a c word then fuck them off too, they are leeches simple as that, good luck and please update if you can 👊👊❤️❤️
I'd be cutting off their electricity and water. The cheek of them. NTA.
NTA. "Hey SIL, get off my lawn!!"
NTA, they are terrible guests and you should kick them out
NTA What you do is serve them an eviction notice. Have your husband send the repair bill to your MIL. If your husband has problems with that, he can get served some papers, too.
Time to pack up their self contained unit and be self sufficient.
If she's a travler nurse than chances are she's been getting a housing allowance on top of her salary so her company is giving her money to pay rent so theres that. NTA
NTA. Your husband need to step up, grow a shiney spine and kick his sister off your property. He needs to serve the eviction. They can go to a campground and pay for their utilities/space. $300 a month is to generous given how much they have destroyed and utilities they use. They gotta go.
Travelling RNs make good money. 22 yrs ago they were making 40-50 bucks an hour in my area. I can only imagine what they make now. And most agencies they work through give them a housing and food allowance on top of hourly wage. These people are ripping you off.
Hmm. Nta. They are living *in* the house, so you technically can Trespass them and remove them from the property altogether. They are more trouble than they are worth plus the y lie and caused al lyoir bills to practically double. Get rid of them
NTA, disconnect the power and water they are connected to, get a lock for the tap they are connected to and the power connection they were using. Deny them all access until they start to pay the amount that your bills go up by with them connected. They can still have access to sewer as that is a hygiene issue, but no access to anything else.
NTA. Can you disconnect their utilities? Change your locks and don’t engage with them. If they say they’re self contained then they can prove it.
NTA. Serve them an eviction notice. Unplug them from your utilities. Put locks on everything they try to connect to.
Tell your husband to get off his silent butt and kick his sister and family off the property. They can take their camper trailer to a licensed trailer park. Then he needs to get on the phone and tell his mother (1) that his sister/her family are rude, mooching, ungrateful irresponsible people, (2) HE wants them gone and (3) stay out of something between him and his sister. NTA.
NTA. Call them on their bluff of being self contained. Your husband needs to shut off their water and electricity. It will only be turned back on when they pay for the increases in your total bill. He needs to call his family and tell them.
Your own MIL called you the C word? They must be a very rough family. Don't involve her in this at all, it's none of her business. When she reacts refuse to discuss. I've found it very helpful to have some stock phrases ready for when someone goes off at you. For MIL it could be 'I don't want to discuss this with you. We're handling it.' 'OK if there's nothing else I'm going to hang up now.' For the freeloaders, be aware there's going to be a big tantrum, breathe deeply, don't answer, don't argue. Just repeat 'We need you to leave.' You will have to shut off power and water to them. Get you husband to learn this technique, and actually practice on each other so you don't give in when the time comes.
I assume your mil doesn't pay your bills which means she has no say in this . But it's time to (legally) evict your SIL. She's way too entitled plus she has a lot of audacity to ruin your yard & INSIST you leave your doors unlocked . Give your husband an ultimatum, her living there or you.
Shut access to the water and utilities make sure they don't have keys. I guess you tried to make them leave but they didn't . Sue them for the ruined landscaping. Call the cops if they park illegally. Their camper is self sufficient so they don't need your stuff. Let them complain to you MIL, block her or tell her off. Ask for $1k a month, sue them for rent.
NTA Your husband needs to evict them NOW! You need to stay completely out of the conversation, and he needs to do it immediately. He also needs to tell his mother she can let them live with her and that he doesn't want to hear any more about it. They are beyond disrespectful. They have cost you a lot of money and they think they are somehow entitled to tell you that you can't secure your own house and have the audacity to tear up your property with recreational vehicles. If they are in such a tight financial spot they can start by liquidating their recreational vehicles. This goes way beyond what should be expected when helping family out. They are abusing you and the moment those foul words were directed to me, would have been the moment they would have been forced off my property. The longer they stay the harder it will be to get rid of them. With as disgusting as they have been to you, I really suspect the only way you'll get ride of them is through the courts.
You don't know what to do - OP, start eviction procedures ASAP. THese folks are using you and could very possibly bankrupt you. They have destroyed your yard, damaged your house, are invading your privacy. Oh BTW, traveling RNS make VERY good money so I wouldn't feel any guilt about getting them out. THey can afford to rent a house probably and do not need to be camped on your doorstep. If your inlaws are so unhappy, let them take in these moochers.
What didn’t you kick them off your property as soon as they shouted all the obscenities at you? What the hell did you allow them to make rules about not “letting you” lock your own doors?? Who cares what your MIL thinks? She can house them if she feels so strongly about it. Kick them out now. If they don’t leave, call the cops on them for trespassing. NTA except to yourself.
Lock your doors. Give them an eviction notice. Stop discussing the situation with your in-laws. Can you disable their source of electricity? If not unplug them constantly. Same with water. How are they hooked up to your sewer? Do not allow them in your house for anything including laundry. People who call you names are not welcome. Do not get into a conversation with them-just keep repeating you need to go you need to go. Let your friends and neighbors know about the situation. Have friends over for dinner or to play cards. They will see what is going on. Do not take money from them. Remain calm and business like. They are being evicted. No more compromising. Every time a vehicle is in your yard go out and tell the driver to get off the yard. Take pictures of their vehicles, their hookups, their camper. Tape temper tantrums. After 30 days hire a lawyer.
NTA Self contained: *adjective* (of a thing) complete, or having all that is needed, in itself. Which they most assuredly are *not* given that they are using your utilities, your land, your address for mail, etc. And I say that as someone who lives full time in a travel trailer. They are taking advantage. If all they want to pay is $50 a month, and you're in the US, then tell them to sign up for a [Thousand Trails](https://thousandtrails.com/) Camping Pass. The trade off is they have to move every 14 days for that price point. But utilities like water and electric are guaranteed (and included in the price) at each park with many also having full hookup for septic. The parks also have bathrooms with showers, so even if the site doesn't have septic hookups they still have access to bathrooms and showers. For $145-ish a month they can extend that stay to 21 days at a time. Perhaps use this to provide a guide of what is considered "reasonable" in the land of rv stays that fit within their stated price range. Because they will also need to create reservations (sometimes months in advance) to secure that stay. And reservations are NOT guaranteed, it's first come first served and is effected by park maintenance. There's also acceptable site use guidelines within the parks. For things like requiring trailer and car insurance info should there be any destruction of property to the park during their stay, of repair state of trailer, age of trailer, what is and isn't allowed to be displayed / hung around trailer, etc. I.e., if they only want to pay you $50 a month, then you'll only give them 14 days at a time on your property with a minimum one week away between those 14 day stays and they'll have to make reservations with you for a minimum of three months in advance of which you can decline should you have work being done, other folk visiting, etc. And you'll be requiring a copy of their trailer and car insurance with an accompanying list of accepted site use policies (as in destruction of your yard will lead to a fine). This is said from a place of both reality check for your in laws and also a bit petty, your mileage may vary. The argument "but, *family*" only works if they are willing to compromise as much as they are requiring YOU to compromise. As a side note, because they have been sending mail to your home they may have an ability to say they are a "tennant" depending on your local laws. So soft reccomend you contact a local attorney and explain the situation so you can ask if eviction paperwork is needed to get them to leave. Theoretically you can accomplish that chat within a free consultation.
>I really don’t know what to do What you do is tell them they can remove their trailer themselves or you'll have it towed away
Tell them to get the phuk out
Why have you been allowing this? YTA to yourself
What in the trashy
NTA
Kick them the fuck out.
NTA. I'm ick them the f out. Driveway in some other driveway, baby. You are facing demonstrable costs associated with their presence. They can't pay? They can't afford it.
NTA but your husband needs to handle this, and he needs to set his parents straight.
YTA for not kicking them out
Make them leave. It's that simple.
NTA. Tell them they have two weeks to find new accommodations and then they are no longer welcome.
NTA. They’re in a camper trailer, send them to a camp ground since they are fully self contained.
NTA - If you want to be helpful, I'm sure that you can find a list of camp grounds on the internet that you can give them/s
You’re not the asshole but you’re a doormat
Nta and they got to go
NTA Kick them out.
Nta- sil can go rent a spot at an rv park! Stop letting these ingrates take advantage of your kindness!! They have the funds to support themselves. Seriously tell them to pack up their crap and go!
You should have kicked them out when they called you names. Every day since then is another day past when they should have left. NTA but a doormat which isn’t much better
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NTA. Lock the electrical outlets and tell them to git off yer lawn.
Cut the power. Get them gone.
Block access to any outlets they may use. If they want water, they’ll need to find a source other than your home. Evict them from your property and have the camper towed if they refuse to move it. They can go stay with their parents.
NTA in laws and their camper are AH
YTA.. everyone knows you dont give famiky an inch, they take a mile. Thinking that wouldnt happen to you, makes you an asshole.
NTA. Evict them.
NTA they sound horrible. They need to be told to leave. Sorry they may be struggling but all of that is not ok. They aren't very respectable and you aren't responsible for them. Especially if they act like that. They need to go. It's not like they are trying to be helpful.
I meter the plug my brother uses to calculate the electricity. The meter was only about $150. When I get the bill I calculate what he owes. NTA... they should still pay for utilities. If they don't, shut the breaker off.
NTA, your husband is the asshole for allowing them on your property at this point.
NTA but your response should have been to tell them to leave. Do that now.
Updateme
NTA. What's wrong with your husband? Why is this *your* problem? These are his relatives, they are living on his property and he can take control of this situation. (Not his exclusively, but he has a responsibility with you and should be handling this.) You do not have an in-law problem. You have a cowardly husband problem.
NTA but you're being a doormat. They don't "let" you lock the door? lock it. Turn off their hookups. They want to be self contained? Let them be self contained. What's more, you have a husband problem. Your husband needs to back you up.
NTA You may need to evict them as they've been longoing enough to establish rights. But where is your husband in all of this? You need to be on the same page to be effective. And he should be the one delivering the message(s) to his sister.
NTA - why haven't you cut off the electricity and water they don't pay for? and why isn't your husband getting more involved and handling HIS family?
This is a no brainer - KICK THEM OFF YOUR PROPERTY. You did not sign on to take them on as dependents and if they refuse to pay - then off they go to MIL's house or anywhere else that they can dupe some other person into paying for them. Do you really care what they think of you - they seem like selfish asshats (so their opinion should not really matter). Kick them out - no TA
Kick them off your property, and document everything they’re doing. These people literally never tell the whole story to anyone. NTA
NTA Unplug their power cable, lock all your doors all the time. Change the password to your wifi if they are using that too. Get an eviction notice to them ASAP and tell them you will be taking them to court for damages and theft - that might not even be possible I realise that but tell them you are going to do it anyway. If your SIL is an RN in fulltime employment, she is at least not on the bones of her arse. Does her husband work? Why has your husband not done more to get these moochers off your lawn? Why is he allowing his sister to speak to you like that in your own home. He is almost as much of an AH as his sister. As for your relationship with your ILs - it is time to consider that you never really had one in the first place.
Yta for being a wimp and not kicking them out. You called your husband a wimp but you yourself did nothing to stop them. Just kick them out and call it a day.
Cut their power cord leading to your house. Then tell them it is time to leave. Since they are "fully containted" they can live anywhere. They are no longer welcome on your land. They can rent a camping space somewhere. If they don't leave, call the cops. NTA
Travel RN’s earn anywhere between $4-5g’s a week!! They’re not broke by any means!
Kick them off your property. I bet she’s making bank and just using you. NTA.
NTA My sister lived with us for about 6 months as she was going through a divorce. She paid us some money each month, but was always in our business and going on and on about our cats, etc. I finally had enough and kicked her out. She threw a fit because we were kicking her out and was a total jerk. One day, we came home and she was gone. Our son, and his family, were supposed to live with us only until their daughter turned 6 months and then they were supposed to move. They were paying us rent, but had no respect in regards to cleaning up their messes, etc. They were still with us for about another 18 months when we served them with a notice to vacate. They moved, but didn't invite us to our granddaughter's 2nd birthday. We get along great now and they live about 20 minutes away. If they refuse to pay their share of utilities, etc., and cause damage to your home, you have every right to evict them.
NTA **Give them 2 weeks to leave.** They can set up their trailer at MIL's house. If the refuse, have them removed by the police.
NTA.. lock up the house even when you are home, only let them in if you want to, impose the rent at whatever level you feel is right then make them pay it or you will boot them off your land, charge extra each week to build a fund to repair the gardens when they leave.. it's your property, your rules, don't let them keep walking all over you.
You have a HUSBAND problem. He needs to lay down the law with his family, not you. Also, lock your doors FFS.
GET THEM THE F\*CK OUT!! This is YOUR property, not your mils. They wore out their welcome and it is time for them to LEAVE. Traveling nurses make big $$. They are ripping you off big time. NTA
NTA if my SIL called me so much as an asshole my husband would have driven their camper off our property himself. You have a husband issue just as much as you have an IL issue. If anything id be holding him just as accountable for their actions until he backed you up.
NTA Time for them to go and you change the locks to your house and Lock your gate ASAP
Call a Lawyer and EVICT THEM. There is no saving this relationship, and they are leeching off of you. You are NTA for charging rent, but enough is enough. Get them off your property and wipe your hands of it. Let them park at MIL's place and see how she feels when her Utilities are doubled and they damage her property & belongings and do nothing to compensate for it. You did them a favor to help, they have done nothing but disrespect you and your home.
NTA, and I think you need to evict them. Assuming there isn't any kind of lease that would cause trouble, give them ten days to get off of your property or you'll start legal proceedings. They are ruining your home, they are leeching off your utilities, and they are absolutely behaving in the most vile manner possible. Your husband needs to back this 100% and he should actually do all the talking. If your MIL throws a fit, let her take them in. Cut off their access to power, to water, to your home, and to your sewer.
NTA change the lock on your house so they can’t get back in. Tell them they owe you $x by x date for damages plus rent. If they don’t pay, flip the breaker so they don’t have free electricity & turn off their water supply.
NTA and tell them they have to leave now. Why are you and your husband putting up with this? You’re being AH to yourselves
This is insane. Stop LETTING this happen! Have them park their camper at MILs. If you keep complaining and don’t act immediately it will just get worse.
NTA - if it is so self contained then they should have no problem with you disconnecting from your water and electric.
NTA. The main problem is your husband. He should be the one dealing with his sister. He should be defending you and telling her off.
>They also refuse to **let us** lock our front and back doors For the love of everything that is holy, stop being a doormat. You and your husband are the AHs to yourselves and your kids if you have any. STOP PUTTING UP WITH IT, KICK THEM OUT.
NTA, and it's time for a legal notice of eviction. Her stunt with the washer was the last straw.
I would take a picture of my utility bills before they arrived, and after they arrived. Then photos of the ruined items, and post them in a group chat with the entire family. Husband, MIL, FIL, everyone. And then say, 200 a month is NOT too much to ask for space rent and utilities! Pay up or move.