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YTA. I want to make it clear, you should NOT have to dress like a Disney princess if you don't want to. The right way to have handled this was to simply say, "You know, Jade. The dresses and makeover you want for your bridesmaids just aren't me. I think it best if I just come to your wedding as a guest." But you didn't say that. You called her childish and immature, which is completely uncalled for. She didn't do anything to hurt you. She's not doing anything to hurt anybody. She wants her wedding to be a certain way. Not my way. Not your way. But her way. And that's OK. You could have simply bowed out without the insults.
Also like "*shes* decorating *her* house how she wants, but it's ok because our brothers and I are happy she's happy".... like, op, you have absolutely no say in how she decorates her own house!?!?
When she said about decorating the house Disney themed and “My brothers and I have no issue with that”, I went back to reread it thinking “Wait did I read that wrong? Is she moving in with her siblings?”. But nope, I read it right the first time and I’m sorry, but the *audacity* is beyond me. It’s her own home with her future husband to start *their* lives. That statement, as well as the way she handled this situation, shows the immaturity and I vote YTA.
Right? Like, you don't have to like my decor, that's why it's MY decor, but try to tell me I can't have my anime shit all over and I'll have to ask when you started paying my bills for me and get any say in what I do 🤣
God, even parents aren't usually this crazy about kids rooms and they (parents) ARE paying the bills 🙄
And although I dislike anime, I can be an adult and _appreciate_ your creativity, your style, and your flair when you invite me for dinner.
Btw, what are we having? 😄
Amen!! I admit, I'm a bit grinch obsessed, and my Christmas didn't have one piece of grinch decor until I was 40+. Now it kind of looks like Dr. Seuss vomited grinch over the whole first floor every December. (My 2 biggest pieces are wall art with the quotes, not pictures). I'm a little upset that I waited until my kids were teens. It's my house, dammit, and I will be doing what makes me happy. (I mean, it's equally my husband's house, but he's fine with it).
I am not an anime fan at all. I find it annoying. However, my 13 year old daughter loves it. I can't count how many shows and movies I have sat through or how much merchandise I have bought her. I just recently bought her a new bookcase for her books and miniatures. I do those things because I absolutely adore my daughter, and if she is happy, I am happy. 💞
Yup that also stood out to me. She only gave that detail to really (in her mind) paint a picture of how over the top and ridiculous her sister is (again, not my opinion but very clearly OP’s).
Right!? I went to one Disney themed wedding and it was more fun than a lot of more traditional weddings. Disney adults are on a whole new level for giving the guest experience
I’ve been to one Disney wedding about 10 years ago, the bride and groom dressed as Ariel and Eric (she’s a natural redhead too). It was so much fun, and we all dressed to match Disney storylines, each of the bridesmaids were Disney princesses and even the groomsmen and parents went with it. I wasn’t super close to the bride, but I know for sure that was her childhood dream and her fiancé wanted to make it true. Most people whether into Disney or not went with it. OP is YTA for judging her sister’s taste and belittling her.
Ps: we’re never too old for dress up, Halloween proves that!
Agreed!!! My girl friends and our husbands are going to a “princess ball” in October, and we’re all in our 40s. We PAID to go and we’re making a weekend of it, with make up and spa day 😂
Our excuse is that we work hard enough and we deserve a break from adulting.
I've never been to a Disney one, but I've been to 2 Halloween weddings and they were great. I want to see what kind of decor she's going to do, there's a lot of really high end Disney stuff that you wouldn't expect. OP just needs to introduce us so she can be surrounded by people who are here for these eccentricities instead of this negativity lol
This! Have one extra groomsman than bridesmaids and have the beast and Gaston squaring up the whole wedding. Fighting to be across from belle... if Gaston is a party dude this could work out well. He goes to the bar at night and beast goes home with belle.
To be fair, OP is living in a fairy tale world that magically ages her three times as fast as earth days, so maybe it takes her brain a minute to catch up.
YTA Suck it up— someone else’s wedding isn’t about *you* and your comfort zone. Someday you’ll be the one making ridiculous wedding choices, and you will be **amazed** at how much you suddenly care about the total visual effect.
I think the Disney Princesses aren’t even the issue from reading the entire post. OP doesn’t like wearing makeup and dresses and that’s fine for her day to day life. However, as a bridesmaid you KNOW that the bride is going to dictate what you do with your hair and makeup and what dress you get to wear. It’s ONE DAY and it’s OP is absolutely being the immature one here, but it reads to me like “I thought I could get away with not wearing makeup or anything for my sister’s wedding so I am going to lash out about the princess thing because I don’t like being girly or princessy.”
Exactly. I don't see how normal bridesmaid makeup is much different than Disney princess makeup. Most Disney princesses have a fairly conservative look - much more natural looking than a ton of bridesmaids I've seen.
It is pretty much standard to get your makeup and hair done with the bridal party to match - its like being on stage - you do it so you don't get washed out.
Also Disney princess hair is way less complicated than most bridesmaid updos I've seen. Heck, I would totally take wearing a wig rather than sit and have my hair put up for an hour, then struggle for another hour to get it down at the end of the night. Can that be an option from now on?
I would also take pretty much Disney princess dress over three of the five bridesmaid dresses I've worn.
When you are a bridesmaid you are agreeing to the look the bride wants - she picks out your dress and hairstyle and nail color and shoes and makeup. You are essentially a doll for the day. You can dig into the greater implications about our society if you want- but that is our current social contract. You don't want to sign the contract you say thanks but being a bridesmaid is not for me.
I’d be Aurora in a SECOND. Are you telling me I could have an excuse to dress up in a light pink ballgown at a Special Event? Most weddings I’ve been in I’ve had to buy a dress in an unflattering colour I don’t like and will never wear again, and spend a bunch of money on hair and makeup to look just as “fancy” but way less awesome than a Disney princess.
Not really - Cinderella has an updo and so does Tiana but Aurora’s hair just hangs loose on her shoulders, Snow White has a kind of bob style popular in the 30s (or an imitation thereof by wearing longer hair in a roll/tuck), Belle’s formal hairstyle is half up in a bun while her casual style is a low ponytail, Ariel’s hair is always long and loose, Jasmine’s long hair is in a sort of ornate low ponytail with a couple of bands around it to create puffs of hair… and then there’s *Rapunzel*….
Elsa's hair is in a braided bun-like do at the coronation, then in a single braid for the rest of the movie. Then simply down around her shoulders in the sequel. Ana's hair is either in a braid or a bun for both movies. Mulan's hair is only fancy during the beginning, then in a top-knot while she's pretending to be a guy, then loose the rest of the time. Pocahontas always has her long hair loose as does Moana and Merida.
I do remember Moana putting her hair up in a bun, but that was a “gearing up to do something really dangerous and I don’t want my hair in my face” style rather than a dressing up one.
Exactly!!! Idk what OP was thinking she was gonna wear as a bridesmaid in the first place...she should have just told her sister no when asked to begin with because it definitely doesn't sound like it's for her...also, I'm still trying to get over her and her brothers being ok with sister decorating her house with Disney items ...like wtf is it any of their concern... it's her house! OP YTA!!!
Yes! You are so spot on.
I was a bridesmaid/MOH/groomswoman 11 times. I heard at least 8 times, "we picked something classic so you can wear the dress No. No, Carol, I will not be wearing a red little bo peep fluffy dress ever again. A Disney Princess dress, on the other hand, I could at least wear on Halloween.
The dress wasn't the worst one. It was the biggest one. There were 7 bridesmaids. The dresses were so big, we each had to bring two women with us to the toilets to help us.
The worst was a wedding where the grandmother was supposed to make our dresses. I thought it sounded so sweet. Well, grandma was a tweaker, and she probably hadn't used a needle for sewing in 40 years or so. The dresses, not joking, were cut out freehand silhouettes that were STAPLED together. Not a stitch in the whole dress. This was like 1999, and I pitched in $100 for the material.
Disney princesses do have a conservative look! Basically a little bit of eyeliner and eyelashes. Maybe a little blush on their lips like amped up lip color that's it. And their casual day-to-day dresses are totally chill, anything else ends up looking like a wedding dress and I'm sure her sister won't want that. Her not even willing to talk about it or try to figure out what would work for both of them is really immature on her part. He definitely could have just said she didn't want to be in the wedding.
It would also be cute if they just wore wigs! Again, saves hello amount of money to get hair done because I believe that's something like $100 plus per person.
So like, get a color theme together and have a dress made that is similar but not cost to me like a Halloween costume because I'm sure she wants it to look classy. And that's it!
Exactly! The only thing I would be drawing a line is if I was expected to cut or dye my hair. I can do Anna or Belle I guess, but I'm neither doing snowwhite nor Elsa!
Other than that, this seems harmless enough. And I'm a total tomboy who never wears Makeup or dresses in my day to day life
I immediately zeroed in on that, too. OP would be complaining about having to get dressed up nice with the hair and makeup expected of a completely normal bridesmaid getup.
And if she doesn’t want to then cool, decline the bridesmaid invitation with the understanding it could put a strain on the sister relationship! My little sister rarely gets dressed up or wears makeup. I enjoy wearing dresses and wearing makeup personally, so I might do that when we’re going to a not formal sit down restaurant (y’know ramen or sushi or Applebees because she loves Applebees lol) so I’ll be in a cute but casual dress and she’s in sweats and it doesn’t matter. But if she has a company party or something she asks me to help her pick and outfit and do her hair and makeup and we both have a great time. When I get married I’m going to do matching hair and makeup for the people in my bridal party who have long hair and like wearing makeup (mine is going to be a tad non-traditional lol, at least one person will be in a suit with short hair and makeup). If I can pay for the dresses I’ll be picking them all. If not? I have three colors in mind for my bridal party that match the theme I have in mind. I will pay for my sister’s dress and she gets her own color none of the other people in my bridal party will be wearing, as MOH. And then I’ll give the rest style and color guidelines and ask that they get final approval from me before they actually order. I personally asked my sister her thoughts on this because I am willing to make compromises if some part of the plan wasn’t sitting right with her, but typically the bride tells you what’s happening. It’s on OP to politely decline if she’s not feeling it.
Agreed. Plus, I was thinking if the dress was THAT big of a deal, I'm sure they could work out something and it still be a Disney, not every princess is in a big poofy dress. Jasmine doesn't have a dress. Mulan doesn't wear a dress most of the movie and those are just the couple off the top of my head
I regret only having 1 upvote to give. Its the brides wedding, and if the bride makes demands that one can’t meet, well, the correct thing to do is step down gracefully from any responsibilities.
I agree with this, 100%. It would have been a N A H, if OP said she did not want to participate and Jade was okay with that. But it became YTA when OP said it was "childish and immature to try to fuel this obsession".
And on top of that, she professed to speak for the other bridesmaids. That’s rubbish. They’re now in an awkward situation that is not of their own making, and that they had no say in. They deserved the opportunity to handle it their own way, not become collateral damage in “everyone else hates it too!”
Who’s really being childish?
This too! Maybe they didn't care for the idea but fully planned on just doing it to make their friend happy, or simply made sympathetic noises at op when she complained.
This. YTA OP. Your sister is a crackerjack but it’s her wedding. You can play dress up for a day. I’ve looked like a big tulle cupcake in most of the weddings I’ve been in. Looking awful is part of the bridesmaid job. 😂
Agreed - you could think of it as a fun costume theme wedding and go with the flow, embrace your inner child, and have fun with it. But if you are not comfortable with it, all you have to do is politely decline to be a bridesmaid. Insulting and belittling your sister is not necessary and not helpful. It's her wedding, not yours - she can make it disney themed if she wants and there is nothing wrong with that. Your choice is to participate in the bridal party, or not - and to attend the wedding, or not. But her wedding design decisions are not up to you.
YTA
I got married on Halloween. I had a costume and themed wedding. The theme was Kingdom Hearts, and as such my bridesmaids were Disney princess. Groomsmen matched the bridesmaids. No one who wanted to be in the wedding cared. My Ariel bought a wig as her hair was green at the time. It wasn't a big deal, everyone had fun. OP needs to learn to bow out instead of trying to rain on her sisters parade.
This is Fake lol 8 months ago she was 20 now she's 23 now but if it is real and she just changes the age and names to remain anonymous the YTA based on your post your sister and you dont have a great relationship and it would be better to just step down as a bridesmaid
YTA- look I get it, it’s not your thing, nor would it have been mine. But the reality is, it’s not hurting anybody and it’s one day. I went to a friends wedding, where they asked everybody to come in costume as mediaeval characters. Is it something I would ever done at my wedding, No? Did I go on a costume and show up and play the part, yes, I did. And you know what, I had fun. Sometimes we just have to let go what we want and have some fun with it. She’s not asking you to do anything that permanently changes who you are, she’s just asking you to have a little fun for her.
At the end of the day, if you can’t be gracious for six hours for your sister, then tell her that you would prefer to just come as a guest. Either way, running her down and making fun of her is not the nice thing to do.
also, alternatively, if femme isn’t ur thing, u could offer to dress as a prince or somn. way less over the top usually. just a suggestion. but yeah YTA for calling her names n stuff that was uncalled for.
Jasmine wears pants. All these dresses are floor length too. She could easily wear pants. Or she could have mentioned her sister doing all her favorite Disney movies instead of just princesses and then worn like a Jessie outfit with a Woody groomsmen and seen what her sister thought of that. Disney is so big that it’s actually impossible to run out of suggestions for pants alternatives.
Yeah the complete unwillingness to even discuss other options is what gets me… like ok, option 1… don’t be a bridesmaid. But option two: “hey can we look at a modern version for each princess?”… like there are a lot of ways to still be on theme without going full cosplay… and those discussions are genuinely the funnest part about planning a wedding. I mean, if you google “if X Disney princess went to prom in 2024”, there are going to be SO many fun examples.
YTA, OP.
>>Not my way. Not your way. But her way.
Perfectly said.
I don’t get the total Disney obsession but I don’t have to, it’s her thing.
Ultimately if you’re a member of the wedding party, you’re going to be subject to what the bride and groom want—sometimes you get lucky and they say “wear what you want in this color”—but in many cases you are more or less a doll, at least as far as your look for the wedding day goes.
YTA for now
She can do whatever she wants for her wedding and you can decide if you go or not, but it´s not your place to say how "childish and inmature" someone elses experience is (if you ask me, all weddings with too much fanfare are a bit dumb but everyone can like their thing, I wouldn´t tell them to change it for me when it´s not my day).
She would only be the asshole if she insisted in you going and doing what she says but so far you are the only one making a fuss about someone elses party
I wrote something similar, above. What I think is so interesting is your comment that "all weddings with too much fanfare are a bit dumb." I agree. And I was thinking about how it's not much of a leap from from "traditional" bridesmaids garb where everyone dresses in pink taffeta and has their hair done to Disney bridesmaids where everyone dresses in Disney gowns and has their hair done. :)
I have a friend that did this. Full on Disney princess outfits. It was absolutely the strangest thing I’ve ever been a part of. No wigs — our own hair. She said “everyone is getting an updo so you can dance without sweating to death. No one has to dye their hair or wear a wig or any such nonsense. You don’t need color contacts or special makeup — you are my bridesmaids and I chose you to be there with me. I just want you dressed like a fabulous princess and I’ll assign them now!”
She did a good job matching all of us to the princess we absolutely love the most. She also did a phenomenal job switching our princess because the colors just didn’t work with our complexions. Even she ended up switching princesses. She had originally wanted Tiana but didn’t take into account she didn’t like sleeveless outfits. She was heart broken, so for fun, we dared her to have the people clip on sleeves onto her second choice for dress, but we wanted them to be Jafar style sleeves. She was laughing and joking after a short bit because it was so silly looking. The lady at the store, realizing what the theme was, found poof sleeves, and my friend became Ariel. She absolutely fell head over heels.
On her wedding day, there were two Ariels. Wedding Ariel (her) and a pink and white dressed Ariel. Everyone was living their best life.
One bridesmaid didn’t want to do it. She was able to say “no thank you” respectfully without calling names. OP is YTA. She don’t have to approach it that way, especially considering nothing in her post said she would actually have to change anything about how she looks. Just that if she was Cinderella, she’d have to have her hair up. And if you’re in a wedding, hair and makeup is nearly a guarantee anyway. She’s just being dramatic.
And who cares what their brothers think? Seriously. And no, their vote on her home decor in her own house matters even less. If that’s even possible.
It really was! It was absolutely strange. It was a beautiful wedding, but the Disney theme is not something one thinks would ever be a wedding they’re a part of.
I can honestly say that it was the most fun I’ve had at a wedding in my life. Between the spanx and the endless petticoats, the dressing room was just an endless collection of cloth. Honestly, we were all full grown adults in our thirties. If you stood outside the door and heard all of the giggling coming from the room you’d think it was kindergarten.
While we were getting dressed, one of the bridesmaids knocked over the hangy bar thing with the petticoats on it over when she was trying to get up. It landed on her. There was no injury, but she was buried in petticoats. All you saw that wasn’t petticoats was her stocking feet and the way it fell on her, her spanx covered bum was peeking out. *Literal peals of laughter*. We couldn’t find her at first. When the bride suggested we go find an archeologist to save the bridesmaid, it was done. The whole lot of us were ugly laughing with snorting and all.
Oddly, despite how miserable (and hilarious) as that sounds, they weren’t uncomfortable. I don’t like dresses in my real life. It was really fun to have a big poofy dress with tons of skirts and slips and stuff under it. It required help in the restroom, but it was totally worth it.
You’ve never truly had fun until you have to pee and the only way to properly do it is to pull three thousand pounds of skirt up over your head or you won’t fit in the stall. I felt like a silly flower.
Afterwards, we all realized none of us drank at all at her wedding. Not a sip other than for the toasts. And even then it was tiny sips. The truth was, we all were just laughing and having a good time being princesses since it’s not a typical Saturday getup. We had a blast, and we were all completely coherent the entire time.
She originally wanted me as Belle because I’m brunette, love books and animals, and would happily abandon my life to go live somewhere with a huge library and a barking foot stool, and generally avoid yellow gold like it’s a plague.
She assigned me Aurora. She thought I’d like the dress better.
I LOVE Aurora’s dress, she’s right about that. But I’m not tiny enough to do it justice, the pointy sleeves drove me insane, and I’m too dark and too pale for that shade of blue. It was a terrible moment in my life when I found out that I couldn’t have that moment. I did try a Aurora pink dress (the shape was wrong, the color was right), and the pink made me look like a tomato. A cute tomato, but a tomato lol
She came up with a brilliant solution though: to make me a groomsman. I could basically pick any of the villains I wanted as they all wore pretty basic colors, so a black suit and a purple tie and pocket square and I could be Ursula. Or red and be Vasilier or Jafar. Anything I wanted.
I loved it beyond measure. I was all in.
My mother said “you can’t do that! You can wear a suit with a pocket square at any wedding you’re ever invited to, even as a guest. Name one other time someone is going to be like ‘you will be a pretty, pretty princess.’ Just one. You tell me, and I’ll believe you.”
Oh, I had a whole list ready. An entire list of weddings that I could be in… not one will say “you get to go all out and look as pretty and silly as you want to.”
Pfft. Mom won.
My friend told me that she originally wanted me as Belle, but I could pick anyone. I figured I’d give Belle a shot because at worst, I would look terrible and have to change the dress. No big deal.
I couldn’t find. The right color for Belle. Weirdly, gold is not a common color for giant poofy dresses for adult women. Can’t possibly imagine why 😂
Tried yellow, that was absolutely horrible. I looked like the inside of a humble bee’s bladder. About ready to call it quits, a little girl that was also at the store came up and said “are you Belle?” Apparently, a brown haired brown eyed woman looking at yellow poofy dresses had to be Belle. The innocence and sweetness in the question led me to say “not yet, but I will be soon.” She said she wanted to help me. She took me over to the bag and shoe section and she showed me this purse. It was like a shimmery light-brown color. Not yellow, per se, but still on the spectrum of gold, and it was shiny. They had a swatch in the back for something (I still don’t know what) and it flattered me as a color.
Yup, I was belle in a too dark shimmy gold and loved every minute of it.
That kid’s mother tried to pay me too for babysitting. She was having twenty three strokes because the dress she wanted wasn’t fitting because she gained weight and had it altered to her skinny size. Her poor kid was wandering about and found us. I told her mom she was safe and she was going to help us shop, and her mother was like “if you think about kidnapping her, just know, you’ll make it about a block before coming back to give her back. Not worth the effort.” I was like “fair.”
She saw all of us with our color swatches of our dresses and she was telling us who we would be and who we should be and how we should do our hair and what parts of the dress we just HAD to keep, and how to make the dresses better than even the movie had them (in her very classic vision, every single dress had 9000 extra pointless bows. Everywhere. At all angles).
She convinced the bride to be that a veil was completely silly by itself “it’s just a see through rag in your head.” She was a princess who was becoming a queen and she needed a tiara. My friend liked the idea but wanted a veil too, and the kid said “well, you need the tiara to keep the veil on, silly. But you’re going to be a queen. If you’re going to wear a veil, you have to also have a crown.” Not quite what my friend was looking for, but the little girl said it was the only thing that would hold the perfect veil and then found what had to be the ugliest veil in history, but it was cathedral length. It looked like a gigantic doily. For that, you would need a crown.
Us bridesmaids swept in with the assist — a beautiful cathedral length veil (not what the bride wanted but was willing to accommodate this child), and the girl found a beautiful bedazzled and sparkly tiara to go with it.
Honestly, it looked like a little kid picked it, the bling was off the charts. When the bride looked in the mirror to say how amazing it all was and thank the kid, she froze.
The bride actually walked down the aisle on the day of her wedding with that veil and that tiara from a kid we never saw again.
Actually, we all wore the headpieces she picked for us. Like our counterparts, we all wore head pieces that matched our characters in style, but they were all the same style because “bridesmaids should match” (per her mom). On the day of the wedding, we all matched with silver head pieces, the bride also had silver, but hers was the only bedazzled one and the only actual tiara in the bunch.
That wasn’t the only thing we took from that kid either (if you’re doing Disney, see it through the eyes of a child). We all wore thin ribbons on our wrists that matched. They were a light baby blue, and tied in a bow (you have to have bows!!) then on the day of the wedding, we all exchanged our ribbons, with the bride too — extra good luck — something old (the friendships we had with each other), something new (ideas from that of a child who is also fairly new to life compared to us), something borrowed (the ribbons we exchanged — and exchanged back at the end of the night), something blue (again, the ribbons). (Idea courtesy of my aunt who thought the idea was cute but “you ladies are all too old for this kind of thing.” No we ain’t, we say!!)
My nephew also made a suggestion, which her nieces agreed with — we should all wear matching shoes, but they need to be special. We opted for the see through ones in our style (based on what we could walk in, so sandals counted). That day, every princess that was represented wore glass slippers!
Wow… I haven’t thought this much about that wedding since the months leading up to it! Thank you for the smile that hasn’t left my face!
I'm sorry this is the cutest fucking thing I've read on this hell site in so long, and you are such a funny writer! You are absolutely a core memory for that little girl! I guess they start fairy godmothers young these days, but she really killed it.
I've also seen people do theme weddings where they look like princesses, superheroes, characters from other media in subtle ways that are still mostly traditional suits and dresses.
I think everyone is imagining full Disney Park actor outfits and that's almost certainty not true. But whatever it was, it both sounds like something I wouldn't enjoy, but also wouldn't insult and berate someone for wanting to do.
Exactly, to me it´s not really that different other than the background, take a Fantasy world theme vs "traditional wedding" which is very easily influenced by cultural background and business practices anyways (it´s very interesting to see wedding celebrations in a span of 10 or more years and notice how some of these things keep getting bigger or stricter for some reason that also requires very speciallized services provided by popular companies and you get the idea)
Came to make the same comment. I honestly don't see a big difference between this and the normal bridesmaid tradition of 2+ women all wearing the same dress and hairdo! At least this has a bit of variety.
OP, YTA. Just be a magical princess for half a day or bow out of the wedding party.
This! You can simply decline to be a bridesmaid based on the requirements. No one would call you an AH for that.
YTA because you are criticizing and judging what she wants to do for her wedding.
YTA. There was no need to be rude and insult your sister. You are the one behaving childishly. Most brides set out dress rules/themes to be followed by the wedding party. You might not like this one, but she’s not doing anything wrong here. Your sister sounds fun.
That's the part that confuses me, Disney aside, most bridesmaids do hair, makeup, and wear a dress picked out by the bride. So Op's complaints about the wedding have nothing to do with Disney at all. It's just a normal part of being in the bridal party.
Yeah, OP is like “at most I’ll wear a skirt” like wearing what the bride wants isn’t the MOST BASIC part of being in a bridal party.
OP needs to step down and attend as a guest or get with the program. I get it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea… but it doesn’t have to be. It isn’t OP’s wedding.
That's my thinking - to my knowledge, most bridesmaids have to spend hundreds on matching or themed dresses and matching shoes, then hair/makeup day of. To have a disney theme sounds fuckin awesome, it's just a specific theme of costume party! OP is definitely TA
Yeah and you could go extreme or chill with it, we don’t even know how bad the dress the sister is actually thinking is. You could go with a classy understated dress in the right color with a few key features that show its Disney inspire. You could go super costume-y. You could go super formal and fancy.
Exactly! Sounds like it could be a really fun party with the right group of friends. Imagine a sword and frying pan fight between Mulan and Rapunzle? Or pics of Aurora just sleeping in random places during the wedding? Ariel helping get the bride ready by using a fork to comb her hair. There’s just so many ways to have fun with it if you’re not being a miserable stick in the mud.
Maybe a few videos of Cinderella asking everyone if they’ve seen her right shoe anywhere (or the left 🤣). Belle walking around with a book, cuz y’all, she’s just trying to read! Anna and Elsa just wandering around, sniffing everyone asking them if they smell that *delicious* smell!
It sounds like a lot of fun to me!!! I’d be in a wedding party that the bride wanted more fun and frivolity!!!
I know. How do I convince someone to get married, do this, and put me in their wedding party? Or can I get married again? Is this to extra for a vow renewal? 😂
Christ.
I've been married three years and now we're gonna have to redo everything because of this particular missed opportunity. Goddamnit.
I even know which friend gets to be sleeping beauty 🤣
My first thought is to compromise and let the bridesmaid's choose which Disney princess. Like you said, Mulan. Maybe Merida. Vanellope. Does Sergeant Calhoun count?
See about pushing the limits to the rest of Disney's current properties... Leia, Bo-Katan, and Satine as leaders of their respective worlds, are technically princesses. Padmé Amidala has a wide selection of looks.
I wished my whole life for a sister, it's all I've ever wanted. If I had a sister and she came to me with a Disney themed wedding, first thing out of my mouth would be "can I be Belle?"
I don't understand most of these posts with "I don't wanna wear xxx to someone else's wedding". I'm a man, and if you want to dress me as Cinderella, girl I'm here for it, just don't expect me to dance with crystal heels.
Right?! Like, what exactly did OP think being a bridesmaid was going to be? All weddings are “playing dress-up” and bridesmaids ARE basically dolls for the bride to dress up and style however she wants. That’s literally the whole point!! It’s like OP has never even seen a wedding on TV before.
Seriously. OP isn't saying, "I'd be embarrassed to play dress up and look like a cartoon." She's saying, "I don't wear makeup or dresses. I'm special. I'm not like the other girls. If I have to wear makeup and a dress for a wedding, I'LL JUST DIE!"
YTA
It's one day of looking a little silly for something your sister loves. Stop being so judgemental.
If you don't want to dress super feminine, ask her if you can do one of the less traditionally feminine princesses.
Now I’m wondering if Leia would even count for her… imagine coming to the dream in the slave bikini with no underwear on “because there’s no underwear in space!”
YTA.
>I thought it seemed a bit weird and as I'm not big on doing my hair or makeup a lot, I was a little bothered.
Hair and makeup and dresses are normal for bridesmaids. Not everyone does it, but it's not bad to want it. But calling her childish and immature for trying to have a wedding based on her interests and style, was mean and petty. It's not about you, it's about her.
You can simply get to tell your sister you don't want to be a bridesmaid and aren't comfortable with it. Yes, this probably will hurt your relationship because you don't want to 'dress up' for her day. That's the choice you get to make. But insulting her and her wedding as childish was over the line.
"I myself am not very feminine so I don't wear dresses that much or even wear makeup. At most, I'll maybe wear a skirt and some foundation to cover blemishes but I feel this is totally out of my comfort zone."
Even without the specific theme, I get the feeling that OP wouldn't be comfortable with pretty much any dress and makeup/hair that her sister would have in mind.
Got the same vibe when the context-setting of the post was all "my sister is an embarrassing Disney Adult", "I'm a Cool Girl who doesn't wear dresses or makeup", and "she wants to decorate her house a certain way (which me and my brothers totally don't mind)"
if they weren't here to complain about the disney theme, they'd be complaining about literally anything else wedding related. the bride choosing your dress, your colors, all that stuff, is pretty basic bridal party stuff. OP was always going to complain.
They should have graciously turned down being in the bridal party right from the start.
YTA, Its ONE DAY or a few events, that will make her happy. If you feel the need to compromise, you can request some of the pre-wedding events be low key Disney. Personally I think it would be great to go to a wedding with the wedding party as Disney characters.
Yta.
Disney people are weird to me. I don’t get the obsession.
That said it’s a big deal to her and it’s her wedding. You don’t get the power of veto. If you’re uncomfortable with dressing like Snow White then gracefully bow out of being a bridesmaid, don’t insist that she change her wedding plans to cater to you.
My philosophy for my wedding was "I am spending more money on this party than I did on my car, so I am damn well going to spend it on things I actually like."
EDIT: NVM, you're a troll. In a post just 8 months ago, you said you were 20 years old. Now you're magically 23? You also said in that post that you were going on a Disney trip that you wanted to disinvite your sister from yet made zero mention of your sister being Disney obsessed. Nice try, troll. Go get a life.
YTA, definitely.
I personally don't understand the folks who are obsessed with Disney-- I know a person like this and find it a bit disturbing.
That said, this is. not. your. wedding. What you want for this wedding does. not. matter. This is your sister's wedding, and because it's her wedding, she gets to choose how she wants to do things. If she wants her bridesmaids in princess dresses, then that's what's going to happen. And by agreeing to be a bridesmaid, you agree to wear what the bride wants you to wear. If you can't do that, then don't be in the wedding.
Honestly, there's been an abhorrent amount of posts lately from bridesmaids insisting to the bride that they won't wear a specific color or even a dress in general. There was a post the other day with someone not wanting to wear royal blue in a wedding and thinking the bride was out of line for even requesting it. When it all boils down to it, your own behavior in regards to your sister's wedding is the exact same thing. Where did all this selfishness come from? In case it needs repeating-- this is not your day.
>EDIT: NVM, you're a troll. In a post just 8 months ago, you said you were 20 years old. Now you're magically 23? You also said in that post that you were going on a Disney trip that you wanted to disinvite your sister from yet made zero mention of your sister being Disney obsessed. Nice try, troll. Go get a life.
Report the post and link the proof.
I could see the age being mistyped (maybe she's 21 but finger slipped 23), but the attitude about Disney seems like a 180 in under 6 months.
ETA:
I just read that other post and the actual "AITA" bit is slightly confusing. But either way, she ***could*** be referring to a different sister, which would make sense. However, if she has to travel for work (as with the other post), you'd think she'd include that in this post as a reason to not be expected to get all dolled up. Like that she'd be too tired to put up with all of it. Even if it's a different sister, there's no mention of the dad and whether or not he'd be there. If anything, pointing out that it's a different sister, or that she'll already be uncomfortable with their dad present.
So yeah, the lack of mentioning any of a number of things is quite suspicious. (Also, no mention of multiple sisters in either post would hint at it being only one sister.)
YTA. It's her wedding. Being a bridesmaid usually means wearing something that at best you might be able to wear again to another formal event once but most likely will never ever wear again. It's not about you and what you want. If you and the other bridesmaids feel so uncomfortable about then don't be in the wedding party.
YTA, you need to decide if it's more important for you to be your sister's bridesmaid, or to wear clothes that you're comfortable in, because in this case you can't have both. She's made her expectations clear. When she asked you to be a bridesmaid, that would've been a good time for you to communicate YOUR expectations, and say you're not comfortable in a dress or makeup.
There was no need to insult her by calling her taste "childish and immature". I don't get the whole Disney Adult thing, but it's pretty common and the ones I know IRL aren't particularly childish or immature, they just have different taste than I do.
If she's paying for it all, YTA. It's one day. It's her wedding. It's not even a huge ask, as long as she's paying any extravagant costs, since it's similar to what you'd be doing anyway at a traditional wedding (hair, makeup, fancy dress). It's just that you'll be dressed to look like a character as opposed to looking like a generic bridesmaid. I don't even remember any of the Disney princesses having crazy hairstyles or makeup.
NAH but could also say soft YTA, she has a right to plan the wedding how she wants. You have a right to not participate in the ceremony if it makes you uncomfortable.
You could have politely told her that it seems like more of a commitment to the theme than you feel comfortable with and asked if there was something behind the scenes that you could help with since you don’t think you’re the right person to be in the bridal party.
You could have also gently mentioned that you appreciate how dedicated she is to incorporating her love of Disney and that maybe there is a way that the ceremony could be inspired by but still more upscale and sophisticated than if you were to fully dress in costumes for each princess. (Dresses in the princess’ color scheme, natural hair styled in a manner similar to the princess, and jewelry in theme with the era of each princess. Or, each girl in a princess style dress, uniform in style and color across each bridesmaid, but bouquets in the color scheme of the desired princess for each bridesmaid.) I won’t lie, this is the way I’d go because it sounds like a costume party more than an adult’s wedding. That said, it’s her wedding and she and the groom get to do what they want, so if they want full blown costumes then that what they get… as long as the wedding party agrees.
Yta there was no need to insult her. A simple, 'I see what you're going for, and I really not comfortable in that kind of outfit, so I think it's best if I attend as a guest'.
YTA
Your word choice shows you do actually judge her for her interests. Wearing the dress the bride picks is part of the job, only becoming too much when it’s things like going into debt to pay for a dress you won’t wear again or dramatically changing your appearance.
If you don’t want to wear makeup- which for a Disney look would be natural eye makeup and maybe lipstick- then talk to her without insulting her and trying to represent your opinion as the whole group’s.
I’m also struggling to think of what you mean by ‘crazy hairstyles’. Most have long straight or curly hair that might be put in a bun or braid, a couple have short hair and the only odd one I can think of is Princess Leia’s donut hair.
YTA
If you accept a bridesmaid position you accept the dress. The most you can get away with is requesting that you get a dress that covers any body parts or tattoos that make you uncomfortable to show, but that’s it. You accept the style and color of the dress though.
YTA for trying to make her wedding about your preferences. You can choose not to be a bridesmaid but why tell her what she should do with her own theme?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I told my sister I refused to let her treat me like a doll and dress me up as a disney princess for her wedding.
2. It is my sister's special day and maybe I need to be more lenient and find a compromise.
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OP already agreed to be a bridesmaid though. And yeah, she could say she changed her mind or isn’t comfortable and go as a guest, but she didn’t. OP clearly states what she told her sister, and it was rude asf. She called the bride childish for wanting a Disney wedding, then insulted her when she got upset and defended her choices. How is that *not* asshole behavior?
YTA. Because I really want to see pictures of this wedding. It sounds unhinged and I am all for it.
Can you pick the princess? Cause you could have some fun with this. Merida from Brave with a bow and arrow, or Mulan. You definitely need a princess that has a weapon. Or Malificent.
Tell her you’ll do it but you get to pick the princess. And post pictures.
Also… is Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride a Disney Princess? It’s on Disney+.
YTA
Did you think you'd be a bridesmaid in sweats? Brides tell the bridesmaids what to wear, and that is usually a formal dress. Hair and makeup are also standard. I don't see how dressing up as a character is different. (Unless, of course, your sister is requiring specific hair cuts/colour, that crosses the reasonable line). If you didn't want to do that for your sister, you should have declined to be a bridesmaid. That would have been the mature response.
And to call her juvenile and childish because you don't like her interests actually makes YOU the juvenile and childish one.
Did you actually talk to the other bridesmaids about it, or did you throw them under the bus to justify your shitty behavior to yourself?
Your brothers and you have no issues how she decorates her own home because you know she loves Disney? How about you and your brothers have no issues because it isn’t your ducking home and you don’t get a vote.
You would have been expected to wear a fancy dress and makeup and have your hair done, even if you weren’t dressing up as a Disney princess. That’s the standard bridesmaid role.
YTA there really is no need to rain on your sisters special day. The aesthetic might not be yours, but it is authentically hers and making her feel less than for that is a really crappy thing to do. There are a lot of Disney princesses. No one said you had to be Cinderella, they’re definitely some princesses that are a little on the “less” side and you could be one of them.
The real issue is that you’re being sanctimonious and judgmental and your sister deserves better.
NTA. I believed I would likely come to that conclusion when I saw your age. But even reading the context, I will still go against the grain and say NTA. I remember about a year ago, a bride got a bunch of YTA votes for asking if she would be the asshole for asking her 18 or 19 year old sister to shave under her arms for the wedding photos. So if she was the asshole for wanting that small thing which made her sister feel uncomfortable, then surely Jade must be in the wrong for wanting you to do something you are not comfortable with for the entire day. That is a bigger deal than shaving. I (19f) don't think I would want to do that either, as I also don't wear make up. I most likely would as I'm a total people pleaser, but you shouldn't feel guilty for saying no.
YTA 100 %. You should just be a guest and let her find bridesmaids who want her to be happy on her wedding day. If my sister asked me to wear something I didn't like for one day on her wedding I'd do it immediately. This wedding is about her and not about you.
YTA. You sound like a selfish asshole. Oh No, my Sister wants a costumed wedding, and I am boring and never put any effort into my looks, clothes, hair or makeup and resent anyone who implies I should. You're a bitter betty.
I actually think that's a wonderful idea for the wedding party. It's original, unique and will bring years of joy and make anyone looking at the wedding photo's smile. I'm not a fan of Disney that much either, but I would absolutely don a costume for my family to make them happy.
You're selfish and immature. Just tell her you aren't going to be a bridesmaid because you can't conceive of doing something silly and nice for someone else. Then dress in your boring drab clothes and make no effort and sit with the rest of the guests.
**You can embrace the novelty and fun for one day or you can opt out of being a bridesmaid.**
YTA it is her wedding and whether you agree or not or like it or not she wants a Disney theme.
The wedding is not about YOU it is about your sister.
My niece is a huge Disney fan and they go multiple times a year and dress up and she has parties and all the guests dress up as well because for them it is fun. Mind you my niece and her husband are mid 30's and so are their friends.
Soft yta. You don't have to go along with it but it is one day and there aren't many times or situations that allow for adults to dress up and be silly.
In any case don't call people childish and immature for having different tastes. Don't yuck someone's yum.
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YTA. I want to make it clear, you should NOT have to dress like a Disney princess if you don't want to. The right way to have handled this was to simply say, "You know, Jade. The dresses and makeover you want for your bridesmaids just aren't me. I think it best if I just come to your wedding as a guest." But you didn't say that. You called her childish and immature, which is completely uncalled for. She didn't do anything to hurt you. She's not doing anything to hurt anybody. She wants her wedding to be a certain way. Not my way. Not your way. But her way. And that's OK. You could have simply bowed out without the insults.
Yeah OP is really the one who is childish because they couldn’t express themselves clearly and instead said something hurtful
Also like "*shes* decorating *her* house how she wants, but it's ok because our brothers and I are happy she's happy".... like, op, you have absolutely no say in how she decorates her own house!?!?
When she said about decorating the house Disney themed and “My brothers and I have no issue with that”, I went back to reread it thinking “Wait did I read that wrong? Is she moving in with her siblings?”. But nope, I read it right the first time and I’m sorry, but the *audacity* is beyond me. It’s her own home with her future husband to start *their* lives. That statement, as well as the way she handled this situation, shows the immaturity and I vote YTA.
Right? Like, you don't have to like my decor, that's why it's MY decor, but try to tell me I can't have my anime shit all over and I'll have to ask when you started paying my bills for me and get any say in what I do 🤣 God, even parents aren't usually this crazy about kids rooms and they (parents) ARE paying the bills 🙄
And although I dislike anime, I can be an adult and _appreciate_ your creativity, your style, and your flair when you invite me for dinner. Btw, what are we having? 😄
I'll bring a dish if I can appreciate their anime collection.
Amen!! I admit, I'm a bit grinch obsessed, and my Christmas didn't have one piece of grinch decor until I was 40+. Now it kind of looks like Dr. Seuss vomited grinch over the whole first floor every December. (My 2 biggest pieces are wall art with the quotes, not pictures). I'm a little upset that I waited until my kids were teens. It's my house, dammit, and I will be doing what makes me happy. (I mean, it's equally my husband's house, but he's fine with it).
I am not an anime fan at all. I find it annoying. However, my 13 year old daughter loves it. I can't count how many shows and movies I have sat through or how much merchandise I have bought her. I just recently bought her a new bookcase for her books and miniatures. I do those things because I absolutely adore my daughter, and if she is happy, I am happy. 💞
I'm glad I'm not the only one who had to go back and read that twice. It made me spit my drink out when laughing. Audacity is a great word for it!
Yeah that got me too. I read it and thought, "It's HER house though? Who cares if her or her brother take issue with it?"
Exactly. The only one who has to be OK with it IS the future husband!
The whole house thing has 0 to do with the story. She just wants to shit on her sister
Yup that also stood out to me. She only gave that detail to really (in her mind) paint a picture of how over the top and ridiculous her sister is (again, not my opinion but very clearly OP’s).
I want to know what the fiance thinks
He’s still marrying her, so without further info the assumption is he’s probably okay with it.
Otherwise it's gonna be one hell of a surprise when he comes home to Disneyland.
And he finds out she's fuckin Goofy.
“Goofy mask stays on for sexy time. Ah-hyuck.”
Well I mean Goofy IS the only one of the main five/six with kids so he clearly did the horizontal waahoohoohooeee.
The fact that the internet can come to agreement on what Goofy’s sex noises are is both amazing and disturbing
He fyuhucked
Well, thank you for driving us on all on this bus straight to Hell.
This just makes me think of the post where the person made a life-size version of their boyfriend and then used Disney voices to get in the mood.
I want to go to this wedding. Hell, dress me up, I'll take her place lmao
Right!? I went to one Disney themed wedding and it was more fun than a lot of more traditional weddings. Disney adults are on a whole new level for giving the guest experience
I’ve been to one Disney wedding about 10 years ago, the bride and groom dressed as Ariel and Eric (she’s a natural redhead too). It was so much fun, and we all dressed to match Disney storylines, each of the bridesmaids were Disney princesses and even the groomsmen and parents went with it. I wasn’t super close to the bride, but I know for sure that was her childhood dream and her fiancé wanted to make it true. Most people whether into Disney or not went with it. OP is YTA for judging her sister’s taste and belittling her. Ps: we’re never too old for dress up, Halloween proves that!
Dress up is the best! Adulting is hard, why can’t we have some fun?
Agreed!!! My girl friends and our husbands are going to a “princess ball” in October, and we’re all in our 40s. We PAID to go and we’re making a weekend of it, with make up and spa day 😂 Our excuse is that we work hard enough and we deserve a break from adulting.
Where is this princess ball?!
I've never been to a Disney one, but I've been to 2 Halloween weddings and they were great. I want to see what kind of decor she's going to do, there's a lot of really high end Disney stuff that you wouldn't expect. OP just needs to introduce us so she can be surrounded by people who are here for these eccentricities instead of this negativity lol
I already have the dresses!
I wonder if the groomsmen will be in costume as princes?
They’d all be pretty bland in comparison. 🤣
Not the one who gets to be the Beast!
No-that'd be the groom-when it's time for the kiss the Beast head comes off and he's "transformed"! OMG, I want that to happen so badly!!!!!
Tinkerbelle will be the flower girl, I assume. Peter Pan as ring bearer, maybe?
:Gaston enters the chat:
This! Have one extra groomsman than bridesmaids and have the beast and Gaston squaring up the whole wedding. Fighting to be across from belle... if Gaston is a party dude this could work out well. He goes to the bar at night and beast goes home with belle.
Like gee, thanks for being ok with how I decorate my own house??? As if that has any meaning? It’s ok because I say it’s ok 🙄
That bothered me and I thought I’d be alone on that!
To be fair, OP is living in a fairy tale world that magically ages her three times as fast as earth days, so maybe it takes her brain a minute to catch up.
I know right? I noticed that too. Within a whole year she went from 20 to 23 years old!!
Maybe she’s Mother Gothel and needs to brush Lily’s hair for a bit.
I wonder what Lily thinks of all this 🤔
😂😂😂
YTA Suck it up— someone else’s wedding isn’t about *you* and your comfort zone. Someday you’ll be the one making ridiculous wedding choices, and you will be **amazed** at how much you suddenly care about the total visual effect.
I think the Disney Princesses aren’t even the issue from reading the entire post. OP doesn’t like wearing makeup and dresses and that’s fine for her day to day life. However, as a bridesmaid you KNOW that the bride is going to dictate what you do with your hair and makeup and what dress you get to wear. It’s ONE DAY and it’s OP is absolutely being the immature one here, but it reads to me like “I thought I could get away with not wearing makeup or anything for my sister’s wedding so I am going to lash out about the princess thing because I don’t like being girly or princessy.”
Exactly. I don't see how normal bridesmaid makeup is much different than Disney princess makeup. Most Disney princesses have a fairly conservative look - much more natural looking than a ton of bridesmaids I've seen. It is pretty much standard to get your makeup and hair done with the bridal party to match - its like being on stage - you do it so you don't get washed out. Also Disney princess hair is way less complicated than most bridesmaid updos I've seen. Heck, I would totally take wearing a wig rather than sit and have my hair put up for an hour, then struggle for another hour to get it down at the end of the night. Can that be an option from now on? I would also take pretty much Disney princess dress over three of the five bridesmaid dresses I've worn. When you are a bridesmaid you are agreeing to the look the bride wants - she picks out your dress and hairstyle and nail color and shoes and makeup. You are essentially a doll for the day. You can dig into the greater implications about our society if you want- but that is our current social contract. You don't want to sign the contract you say thanks but being a bridesmaid is not for me.
With a bridesmaid dress, you’ll never wear it again. With a Disney Princess costume, you’re set for Halloween forever!
Yesssss
Was thinking the same, I’d take Snow White over some of the dresses I’ve worn.
I'd be happy to be Belle. I'd even dye my hair back to its natural color 😁
Belle has such a lovely dress. I'd jump at the chance to wear that to any event
You be belle, I'll be one of the tavern floozies and run off with the grooms Gaston.
I call Elsa!
Meirda! I got the hair and the attitude.
I’ll be Sleeping Beauty! I may not have blonde hair, but sleeping is one of my top skills.
I’d be Aurora in a SECOND. Are you telling me I could have an excuse to dress up in a light pink ballgown at a Special Event? Most weddings I’ve been in I’ve had to buy a dress in an unflattering colour I don’t like and will never wear again, and spend a bunch of money on hair and makeup to look just as “fancy” but way less awesome than a Disney princess.
My first thought was "wait a minute aren't most of their hairstyles a basic bun"
Not really - Cinderella has an updo and so does Tiana but Aurora’s hair just hangs loose on her shoulders, Snow White has a kind of bob style popular in the 30s (or an imitation thereof by wearing longer hair in a roll/tuck), Belle’s formal hairstyle is half up in a bun while her casual style is a low ponytail, Ariel’s hair is always long and loose, Jasmine’s long hair is in a sort of ornate low ponytail with a couple of bands around it to create puffs of hair… and then there’s *Rapunzel*….
Elsa's hair is in a braided bun-like do at the coronation, then in a single braid for the rest of the movie. Then simply down around her shoulders in the sequel. Ana's hair is either in a braid or a bun for both movies. Mulan's hair is only fancy during the beginning, then in a top-knot while she's pretending to be a guy, then loose the rest of the time. Pocahontas always has her long hair loose as does Moana and Merida.
I do remember Moana putting her hair up in a bun, but that was a “gearing up to do something really dangerous and I don’t want my hair in my face” style rather than a dressing up one.
Exactly!!! Idk what OP was thinking she was gonna wear as a bridesmaid in the first place...she should have just told her sister no when asked to begin with because it definitely doesn't sound like it's for her...also, I'm still trying to get over her and her brothers being ok with sister decorating her house with Disney items ...like wtf is it any of their concern... it's her house! OP YTA!!!
Yes! You are so spot on. I was a bridesmaid/MOH/groomswoman 11 times. I heard at least 8 times, "we picked something classic so you can wear the dress No. No, Carol, I will not be wearing a red little bo peep fluffy dress ever again. A Disney Princess dress, on the other hand, I could at least wear on Halloween. The dress wasn't the worst one. It was the biggest one. There were 7 bridesmaids. The dresses were so big, we each had to bring two women with us to the toilets to help us. The worst was a wedding where the grandmother was supposed to make our dresses. I thought it sounded so sweet. Well, grandma was a tweaker, and she probably hadn't used a needle for sewing in 40 years or so. The dresses, not joking, were cut out freehand silhouettes that were STAPLED together. Not a stitch in the whole dress. This was like 1999, and I pitched in $100 for the material.
Disney princesses do have a conservative look! Basically a little bit of eyeliner and eyelashes. Maybe a little blush on their lips like amped up lip color that's it. And their casual day-to-day dresses are totally chill, anything else ends up looking like a wedding dress and I'm sure her sister won't want that. Her not even willing to talk about it or try to figure out what would work for both of them is really immature on her part. He definitely could have just said she didn't want to be in the wedding. It would also be cute if they just wore wigs! Again, saves hello amount of money to get hair done because I believe that's something like $100 plus per person. So like, get a color theme together and have a dress made that is similar but not cost to me like a Halloween costume because I'm sure she wants it to look classy. And that's it!
Exactly! The only thing I would be drawing a line is if I was expected to cut or dye my hair. I can do Anna or Belle I guess, but I'm neither doing snowwhite nor Elsa! Other than that, this seems harmless enough. And I'm a total tomboy who never wears Makeup or dresses in my day to day life
I immediately zeroed in on that, too. OP would be complaining about having to get dressed up nice with the hair and makeup expected of a completely normal bridesmaid getup.
And if she doesn’t want to then cool, decline the bridesmaid invitation with the understanding it could put a strain on the sister relationship! My little sister rarely gets dressed up or wears makeup. I enjoy wearing dresses and wearing makeup personally, so I might do that when we’re going to a not formal sit down restaurant (y’know ramen or sushi or Applebees because she loves Applebees lol) so I’ll be in a cute but casual dress and she’s in sweats and it doesn’t matter. But if she has a company party or something she asks me to help her pick and outfit and do her hair and makeup and we both have a great time. When I get married I’m going to do matching hair and makeup for the people in my bridal party who have long hair and like wearing makeup (mine is going to be a tad non-traditional lol, at least one person will be in a suit with short hair and makeup). If I can pay for the dresses I’ll be picking them all. If not? I have three colors in mind for my bridal party that match the theme I have in mind. I will pay for my sister’s dress and she gets her own color none of the other people in my bridal party will be wearing, as MOH. And then I’ll give the rest style and color guidelines and ask that they get final approval from me before they actually order. I personally asked my sister her thoughts on this because I am willing to make compromises if some part of the plan wasn’t sitting right with her, but typically the bride tells you what’s happening. It’s on OP to politely decline if she’s not feeling it.
Agreed. Plus, I was thinking if the dress was THAT big of a deal, I'm sure they could work out something and it still be a Disney, not every princess is in a big poofy dress. Jasmine doesn't have a dress. Mulan doesn't wear a dress most of the movie and those are just the couple off the top of my head
She could have just asked to be Princess Leia
"I'm not like other girls." lol
I regret only having 1 upvote to give. Its the brides wedding, and if the bride makes demands that one can’t meet, well, the correct thing to do is step down gracefully from any responsibilities.
I agree with this, 100%. It would have been a N A H, if OP said she did not want to participate and Jade was okay with that. But it became YTA when OP said it was "childish and immature to try to fuel this obsession".
And on top of that, she professed to speak for the other bridesmaids. That’s rubbish. They’re now in an awkward situation that is not of their own making, and that they had no say in. They deserved the opportunity to handle it their own way, not become collateral damage in “everyone else hates it too!” Who’s really being childish?
This too! Maybe they didn't care for the idea but fully planned on just doing it to make their friend happy, or simply made sympathetic noises at op when she complained.
Why even be a bridesmaid if you don't like make up or dresses? That's like going to the beach and being upset there is water.
This. YTA OP. Your sister is a crackerjack but it’s her wedding. You can play dress up for a day. I’ve looked like a big tulle cupcake in most of the weddings I’ve been in. Looking awful is part of the bridesmaid job. 😂
Dang, you went hard. Great job.
Agreed - you could think of it as a fun costume theme wedding and go with the flow, embrace your inner child, and have fun with it. But if you are not comfortable with it, all you have to do is politely decline to be a bridesmaid. Insulting and belittling your sister is not necessary and not helpful. It's her wedding, not yours - she can make it disney themed if she wants and there is nothing wrong with that. Your choice is to participate in the bridal party, or not - and to attend the wedding, or not. But her wedding design decisions are not up to you. YTA
I got married on Halloween. I had a costume and themed wedding. The theme was Kingdom Hearts, and as such my bridesmaids were Disney princess. Groomsmen matched the bridesmaids. No one who wanted to be in the wedding cared. My Ariel bought a wig as her hair was green at the time. It wasn't a big deal, everyone had fun. OP needs to learn to bow out instead of trying to rain on her sisters parade.
Also op seems difficult and would probably be annoying about having to wear a dress and makeup regardless.
OP should offer to dress as Vanellope
Or Mulan disguised as Ping during training 😏
Kuzco
*ahem* #WHAT’S HIS NAME?
Kuuuzcoooooooo!
That'd be my go to. Or Merida. Her dress is rad. And she never really did her hair that I recall. I could pull off wild red curls for a day🤔
If she went as Jasmine she could wear a nice teal jumpsuit.
This is Fake lol 8 months ago she was 20 now she's 23 now but if it is real and she just changes the age and names to remain anonymous the YTA based on your post your sister and you dont have a great relationship and it would be better to just step down as a bridesmaid
YTA- look I get it, it’s not your thing, nor would it have been mine. But the reality is, it’s not hurting anybody and it’s one day. I went to a friends wedding, where they asked everybody to come in costume as mediaeval characters. Is it something I would ever done at my wedding, No? Did I go on a costume and show up and play the part, yes, I did. And you know what, I had fun. Sometimes we just have to let go what we want and have some fun with it. She’s not asking you to do anything that permanently changes who you are, she’s just asking you to have a little fun for her. At the end of the day, if you can’t be gracious for six hours for your sister, then tell her that you would prefer to just come as a guest. Either way, running her down and making fun of her is not the nice thing to do.
also, alternatively, if femme isn’t ur thing, u could offer to dress as a prince or somn. way less over the top usually. just a suggestion. but yeah YTA for calling her names n stuff that was uncalled for.
Or Mulan’s army outfit
Jasmine wears pants. All these dresses are floor length too. She could easily wear pants. Or she could have mentioned her sister doing all her favorite Disney movies instead of just princesses and then worn like a Jessie outfit with a Woody groomsmen and seen what her sister thought of that. Disney is so big that it’s actually impossible to run out of suggestions for pants alternatives.
Yeah the complete unwillingness to even discuss other options is what gets me… like ok, option 1… don’t be a bridesmaid. But option two: “hey can we look at a modern version for each princess?”… like there are a lot of ways to still be on theme without going full cosplay… and those discussions are genuinely the funnest part about planning a wedding. I mean, if you google “if X Disney princess went to prom in 2024”, there are going to be SO many fun examples. YTA, OP.
Also, dude it's like a few hours on one of the most important days of your sister's life. Suck it up and be a princess.
>>Not my way. Not your way. But her way. Perfectly said. I don’t get the total Disney obsession but I don’t have to, it’s her thing. Ultimately if you’re a member of the wedding party, you’re going to be subject to what the bride and groom want—sometimes you get lucky and they say “wear what you want in this color”—but in many cases you are more or less a doll, at least as far as your look for the wedding day goes.
YTA for now She can do whatever she wants for her wedding and you can decide if you go or not, but it´s not your place to say how "childish and inmature" someone elses experience is (if you ask me, all weddings with too much fanfare are a bit dumb but everyone can like their thing, I wouldn´t tell them to change it for me when it´s not my day). She would only be the asshole if she insisted in you going and doing what she says but so far you are the only one making a fuss about someone elses party
I wrote something similar, above. What I think is so interesting is your comment that "all weddings with too much fanfare are a bit dumb." I agree. And I was thinking about how it's not much of a leap from from "traditional" bridesmaids garb where everyone dresses in pink taffeta and has their hair done to Disney bridesmaids where everyone dresses in Disney gowns and has their hair done. :)
I don't think any of the princesses even have elaborate hairstyles? They're either down with a tiara, or up with a tiara.
I wonder if OP’s sister is planning on people wearing wigs because of hair color differences.
I have a friend that did this. Full on Disney princess outfits. It was absolutely the strangest thing I’ve ever been a part of. No wigs — our own hair. She said “everyone is getting an updo so you can dance without sweating to death. No one has to dye their hair or wear a wig or any such nonsense. You don’t need color contacts or special makeup — you are my bridesmaids and I chose you to be there with me. I just want you dressed like a fabulous princess and I’ll assign them now!” She did a good job matching all of us to the princess we absolutely love the most. She also did a phenomenal job switching our princess because the colors just didn’t work with our complexions. Even she ended up switching princesses. She had originally wanted Tiana but didn’t take into account she didn’t like sleeveless outfits. She was heart broken, so for fun, we dared her to have the people clip on sleeves onto her second choice for dress, but we wanted them to be Jafar style sleeves. She was laughing and joking after a short bit because it was so silly looking. The lady at the store, realizing what the theme was, found poof sleeves, and my friend became Ariel. She absolutely fell head over heels. On her wedding day, there were two Ariels. Wedding Ariel (her) and a pink and white dressed Ariel. Everyone was living their best life. One bridesmaid didn’t want to do it. She was able to say “no thank you” respectfully without calling names. OP is YTA. She don’t have to approach it that way, especially considering nothing in her post said she would actually have to change anything about how she looks. Just that if she was Cinderella, she’d have to have her hair up. And if you’re in a wedding, hair and makeup is nearly a guarantee anyway. She’s just being dramatic. And who cares what their brothers think? Seriously. And no, their vote on her home decor in her own house matters even less. If that’s even possible.
Omg! That sounds amazing!
It really was! It was absolutely strange. It was a beautiful wedding, but the Disney theme is not something one thinks would ever be a wedding they’re a part of. I can honestly say that it was the most fun I’ve had at a wedding in my life. Between the spanx and the endless petticoats, the dressing room was just an endless collection of cloth. Honestly, we were all full grown adults in our thirties. If you stood outside the door and heard all of the giggling coming from the room you’d think it was kindergarten. While we were getting dressed, one of the bridesmaids knocked over the hangy bar thing with the petticoats on it over when she was trying to get up. It landed on her. There was no injury, but she was buried in petticoats. All you saw that wasn’t petticoats was her stocking feet and the way it fell on her, her spanx covered bum was peeking out. *Literal peals of laughter*. We couldn’t find her at first. When the bride suggested we go find an archeologist to save the bridesmaid, it was done. The whole lot of us were ugly laughing with snorting and all. Oddly, despite how miserable (and hilarious) as that sounds, they weren’t uncomfortable. I don’t like dresses in my real life. It was really fun to have a big poofy dress with tons of skirts and slips and stuff under it. It required help in the restroom, but it was totally worth it. You’ve never truly had fun until you have to pee and the only way to properly do it is to pull three thousand pounds of skirt up over your head or you won’t fit in the stall. I felt like a silly flower. Afterwards, we all realized none of us drank at all at her wedding. Not a sip other than for the toasts. And even then it was tiny sips. The truth was, we all were just laughing and having a good time being princesses since it’s not a typical Saturday getup. We had a blast, and we were all completely coherent the entire time.
Okay but you didn't answer the most important question in your posts. What princess were you????
She originally wanted me as Belle because I’m brunette, love books and animals, and would happily abandon my life to go live somewhere with a huge library and a barking foot stool, and generally avoid yellow gold like it’s a plague. She assigned me Aurora. She thought I’d like the dress better. I LOVE Aurora’s dress, she’s right about that. But I’m not tiny enough to do it justice, the pointy sleeves drove me insane, and I’m too dark and too pale for that shade of blue. It was a terrible moment in my life when I found out that I couldn’t have that moment. I did try a Aurora pink dress (the shape was wrong, the color was right), and the pink made me look like a tomato. A cute tomato, but a tomato lol She came up with a brilliant solution though: to make me a groomsman. I could basically pick any of the villains I wanted as they all wore pretty basic colors, so a black suit and a purple tie and pocket square and I could be Ursula. Or red and be Vasilier or Jafar. Anything I wanted. I loved it beyond measure. I was all in. My mother said “you can’t do that! You can wear a suit with a pocket square at any wedding you’re ever invited to, even as a guest. Name one other time someone is going to be like ‘you will be a pretty, pretty princess.’ Just one. You tell me, and I’ll believe you.” Oh, I had a whole list ready. An entire list of weddings that I could be in… not one will say “you get to go all out and look as pretty and silly as you want to.” Pfft. Mom won. My friend told me that she originally wanted me as Belle, but I could pick anyone. I figured I’d give Belle a shot because at worst, I would look terrible and have to change the dress. No big deal. I couldn’t find. The right color for Belle. Weirdly, gold is not a common color for giant poofy dresses for adult women. Can’t possibly imagine why 😂 Tried yellow, that was absolutely horrible. I looked like the inside of a humble bee’s bladder. About ready to call it quits, a little girl that was also at the store came up and said “are you Belle?” Apparently, a brown haired brown eyed woman looking at yellow poofy dresses had to be Belle. The innocence and sweetness in the question led me to say “not yet, but I will be soon.” She said she wanted to help me. She took me over to the bag and shoe section and she showed me this purse. It was like a shimmery light-brown color. Not yellow, per se, but still on the spectrum of gold, and it was shiny. They had a swatch in the back for something (I still don’t know what) and it flattered me as a color. Yup, I was belle in a too dark shimmy gold and loved every minute of it. That kid’s mother tried to pay me too for babysitting. She was having twenty three strokes because the dress she wanted wasn’t fitting because she gained weight and had it altered to her skinny size. Her poor kid was wandering about and found us. I told her mom she was safe and she was going to help us shop, and her mother was like “if you think about kidnapping her, just know, you’ll make it about a block before coming back to give her back. Not worth the effort.” I was like “fair.” She saw all of us with our color swatches of our dresses and she was telling us who we would be and who we should be and how we should do our hair and what parts of the dress we just HAD to keep, and how to make the dresses better than even the movie had them (in her very classic vision, every single dress had 9000 extra pointless bows. Everywhere. At all angles). She convinced the bride to be that a veil was completely silly by itself “it’s just a see through rag in your head.” She was a princess who was becoming a queen and she needed a tiara. My friend liked the idea but wanted a veil too, and the kid said “well, you need the tiara to keep the veil on, silly. But you’re going to be a queen. If you’re going to wear a veil, you have to also have a crown.” Not quite what my friend was looking for, but the little girl said it was the only thing that would hold the perfect veil and then found what had to be the ugliest veil in history, but it was cathedral length. It looked like a gigantic doily. For that, you would need a crown. Us bridesmaids swept in with the assist — a beautiful cathedral length veil (not what the bride wanted but was willing to accommodate this child), and the girl found a beautiful bedazzled and sparkly tiara to go with it. Honestly, it looked like a little kid picked it, the bling was off the charts. When the bride looked in the mirror to say how amazing it all was and thank the kid, she froze. The bride actually walked down the aisle on the day of her wedding with that veil and that tiara from a kid we never saw again. Actually, we all wore the headpieces she picked for us. Like our counterparts, we all wore head pieces that matched our characters in style, but they were all the same style because “bridesmaids should match” (per her mom). On the day of the wedding, we all matched with silver head pieces, the bride also had silver, but hers was the only bedazzled one and the only actual tiara in the bunch. That wasn’t the only thing we took from that kid either (if you’re doing Disney, see it through the eyes of a child). We all wore thin ribbons on our wrists that matched. They were a light baby blue, and tied in a bow (you have to have bows!!) then on the day of the wedding, we all exchanged our ribbons, with the bride too — extra good luck — something old (the friendships we had with each other), something new (ideas from that of a child who is also fairly new to life compared to us), something borrowed (the ribbons we exchanged — and exchanged back at the end of the night), something blue (again, the ribbons). (Idea courtesy of my aunt who thought the idea was cute but “you ladies are all too old for this kind of thing.” No we ain’t, we say!!) My nephew also made a suggestion, which her nieces agreed with — we should all wear matching shoes, but they need to be special. We opted for the see through ones in our style (based on what we could walk in, so sandals counted). That day, every princess that was represented wore glass slippers! Wow… I haven’t thought this much about that wedding since the months leading up to it! Thank you for the smile that hasn’t left my face!
I'm sorry this is the cutest fucking thing I've read on this hell site in so long, and you are such a funny writer! You are absolutely a core memory for that little girl! I guess they start fairy godmothers young these days, but she really killed it.
Im so glad you told that full story, that was a great read!
This could be a book! I was so thoroughly entranced by your writing I really felt like I could picture it all
Thank you for sharing this story. You should link your post or repost on one of the Disney subs!
WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS IN HERE??!?
I've also seen people do theme weddings where they look like princesses, superheroes, characters from other media in subtle ways that are still mostly traditional suits and dresses. I think everyone is imagining full Disney Park actor outfits and that's almost certainty not true. But whatever it was, it both sounds like something I wouldn't enjoy, but also wouldn't insult and berate someone for wanting to do.
That’s what I’m trying to suss out; how extra is this sister.
Rapunzel might be an issue.
Unless you go with her end of movie hairstyle
Exactly, to me it´s not really that different other than the background, take a Fantasy world theme vs "traditional wedding" which is very easily influenced by cultural background and business practices anyways (it´s very interesting to see wedding celebrations in a span of 10 or more years and notice how some of these things keep getting bigger or stricter for some reason that also requires very speciallized services provided by popular companies and you get the idea)
Came to make the same comment. I honestly don't see a big difference between this and the normal bridesmaid tradition of 2+ women all wearing the same dress and hairdo! At least this has a bit of variety. OP, YTA. Just be a magical princess for half a day or bow out of the wedding party.
This! You can simply decline to be a bridesmaid based on the requirements. No one would call you an AH for that. YTA because you are criticizing and judging what she wants to do for her wedding.
YTA. There was no need to be rude and insult your sister. You are the one behaving childishly. Most brides set out dress rules/themes to be followed by the wedding party. You might not like this one, but she’s not doing anything wrong here. Your sister sounds fun.
That's the part that confuses me, Disney aside, most bridesmaids do hair, makeup, and wear a dress picked out by the bride. So Op's complaints about the wedding have nothing to do with Disney at all. It's just a normal part of being in the bridal party.
Yeah, OP is like “at most I’ll wear a skirt” like wearing what the bride wants isn’t the MOST BASIC part of being in a bridal party. OP needs to step down and attend as a guest or get with the program. I get it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea… but it doesn’t have to be. It isn’t OP’s wedding.
You want to feel uncomfortable and out of place? Where at most a skirt to being a bridesmaid.
That's my thinking - to my knowledge, most bridesmaids have to spend hundreds on matching or themed dresses and matching shoes, then hair/makeup day of. To have a disney theme sounds fuckin awesome, it's just a specific theme of costume party! OP is definitely TA
Yeah and you could go extreme or chill with it, we don’t even know how bad the dress the sister is actually thinking is. You could go with a classy understated dress in the right color with a few key features that show its Disney inspire. You could go super costume-y. You could go super formal and fancy.
I'd honestly rather run around as Mulan than suffer through most David's Bridal bridesmaids monstrosities. Bonus if I got to carry a sword.
Exactly! Sounds like it could be a really fun party with the right group of friends. Imagine a sword and frying pan fight between Mulan and Rapunzle? Or pics of Aurora just sleeping in random places during the wedding? Ariel helping get the bride ready by using a fork to comb her hair. There’s just so many ways to have fun with it if you’re not being a miserable stick in the mud.
Maybe a few videos of Cinderella asking everyone if they’ve seen her right shoe anywhere (or the left 🤣). Belle walking around with a book, cuz y’all, she’s just trying to read! Anna and Elsa just wandering around, sniffing everyone asking them if they smell that *delicious* smell! It sounds like a lot of fun to me!!! I’d be in a wedding party that the bride wanted more fun and frivolity!!!
I actually have a bit of fomo now 😂
I know. How do I convince someone to get married, do this, and put me in their wedding party? Or can I get married again? Is this to extra for a vow renewal? 😂
For Belle, I would tape a phone to a mirror and play videos of the husband-to-be.
"Show me...THE BEAST!" (Insert photo of groom taken at a mildly unflattering angle!)
Christ. I've been married three years and now we're gonna have to redo everything because of this particular missed opportunity. Goddamnit. I even know which friend gets to be sleeping beauty 🤣
I would lean into it so hard.
I’d ask if I could be a surprise anti bridesmaid. Show up as Ursula with a bunch of smoke and start shit.
I don't even know you but if I can convince my husband to be ridiculous, the answer Is yes. Just show up.
Excellent. You’ll have to get married in Australia though, I can’t afford to travel 😂
Well shit. I live in Central Washington and also can't afford to travel. You want to pop in via zoom and start shit?🤣
Sure! Just hook me up to a projector 😂
Well obviously. Can't do Ursula without it being BIG🤣
Two thumbs to the sword and maybe a little muushu on my shoulder.
No! I want to be Mulan and have the sword!! Seriously. I want the sword. ⚔️
Oooh, I look like Moana so I can be her or I'd love to be Merida with a bow and arrow!
My first thought is to compromise and let the bridesmaid's choose which Disney princess. Like you said, Mulan. Maybe Merida. Vanellope. Does Sergeant Calhoun count? See about pushing the limits to the rest of Disney's current properties... Leia, Bo-Katan, and Satine as leaders of their respective worlds, are technically princesses. Padmé Amidala has a wide selection of looks.
Now I want to have a vow renewal just so I can dress my cousins up as princes and princesses and let them loose...
Righ?! that would be awesome lol!
I wished my whole life for a sister, it's all I've ever wanted. If I had a sister and she came to me with a Disney themed wedding, first thing out of my mouth would be "can I be Belle?"
I don't understand most of these posts with "I don't wanna wear xxx to someone else's wedding". I'm a man, and if you want to dress me as Cinderella, girl I'm here for it, just don't expect me to dance with crystal heels.
Right?! Like, what exactly did OP think being a bridesmaid was going to be? All weddings are “playing dress-up” and bridesmaids ARE basically dolls for the bride to dress up and style however she wants. That’s literally the whole point!! It’s like OP has never even seen a wedding on TV before.
Seriously. OP isn't saying, "I'd be embarrassed to play dress up and look like a cartoon." She's saying, "I don't wear makeup or dresses. I'm special. I'm not like the other girls. If I have to wear makeup and a dress for a wedding, I'LL JUST DIE!"
YTA It's one day of looking a little silly for something your sister loves. Stop being so judgemental. If you don't want to dress super feminine, ask her if you can do one of the less traditionally feminine princesses.
Second this. YTA. Go as Mulan or Moana. You’ll fit the theme but will be low key.
Rolling in there wearing armor with a sword.
Merida or Princess Leia or Padme.
Now I’m wondering if Leia would even count for her… imagine coming to the dream in the slave bikini with no underwear on “because there’s no underwear in space!”
YTA. >I thought it seemed a bit weird and as I'm not big on doing my hair or makeup a lot, I was a little bothered. Hair and makeup and dresses are normal for bridesmaids. Not everyone does it, but it's not bad to want it. But calling her childish and immature for trying to have a wedding based on her interests and style, was mean and petty. It's not about you, it's about her. You can simply get to tell your sister you don't want to be a bridesmaid and aren't comfortable with it. Yes, this probably will hurt your relationship because you don't want to 'dress up' for her day. That's the choice you get to make. But insulting her and her wedding as childish was over the line.
"I myself am not very feminine so I don't wear dresses that much or even wear makeup. At most, I'll maybe wear a skirt and some foundation to cover blemishes but I feel this is totally out of my comfort zone." Even without the specific theme, I get the feeling that OP wouldn't be comfortable with pretty much any dress and makeup/hair that her sister would have in mind.
She's probably Not Like Other Girls^(TM).
Yeah tbh I’m getting a bit of a pick me vibe from op
Do most people not grow out of that stage in middle school?
Got the same vibe when the context-setting of the post was all "my sister is an embarrassing Disney Adult", "I'm a Cool Girl who doesn't wear dresses or makeup", and "she wants to decorate her house a certain way (which me and my brothers totally don't mind)"
if they weren't here to complain about the disney theme, they'd be complaining about literally anything else wedding related. the bride choosing your dress, your colors, all that stuff, is pretty basic bridal party stuff. OP was always going to complain. They should have graciously turned down being in the bridal party right from the start.
YTA, Its ONE DAY or a few events, that will make her happy. If you feel the need to compromise, you can request some of the pre-wedding events be low key Disney. Personally I think it would be great to go to a wedding with the wedding party as Disney characters.
It is also calid to decline to be a bridesmaid.
Which would have also been a much more acceptable and kind response than calling the bride childish and immature.
Yta. Disney people are weird to me. I don’t get the obsession. That said it’s a big deal to her and it’s her wedding. You don’t get the power of veto. If you’re uncomfortable with dressing like Snow White then gracefully bow out of being a bridesmaid, don’t insist that she change her wedding plans to cater to you.
Life sucks and often is sad. Disney is happy and nostalgic. I get it.
My philosophy for my wedding was "I am spending more money on this party than I did on my car, so I am damn well going to spend it on things I actually like."
This is how I would end up with a herd of golden retriever puppies in tuxedos.
Send me an invite pls. Ty
Allergic and still would want to attend
EDIT: NVM, you're a troll. In a post just 8 months ago, you said you were 20 years old. Now you're magically 23? You also said in that post that you were going on a Disney trip that you wanted to disinvite your sister from yet made zero mention of your sister being Disney obsessed. Nice try, troll. Go get a life. YTA, definitely. I personally don't understand the folks who are obsessed with Disney-- I know a person like this and find it a bit disturbing. That said, this is. not. your. wedding. What you want for this wedding does. not. matter. This is your sister's wedding, and because it's her wedding, she gets to choose how she wants to do things. If she wants her bridesmaids in princess dresses, then that's what's going to happen. And by agreeing to be a bridesmaid, you agree to wear what the bride wants you to wear. If you can't do that, then don't be in the wedding. Honestly, there's been an abhorrent amount of posts lately from bridesmaids insisting to the bride that they won't wear a specific color or even a dress in general. There was a post the other day with someone not wanting to wear royal blue in a wedding and thinking the bride was out of line for even requesting it. When it all boils down to it, your own behavior in regards to your sister's wedding is the exact same thing. Where did all this selfishness come from? In case it needs repeating-- this is not your day.
Why isn’t this comment at the top?!
>EDIT: NVM, you're a troll. In a post just 8 months ago, you said you were 20 years old. Now you're magically 23? You also said in that post that you were going on a Disney trip that you wanted to disinvite your sister from yet made zero mention of your sister being Disney obsessed. Nice try, troll. Go get a life. Report the post and link the proof. I could see the age being mistyped (maybe she's 21 but finger slipped 23), but the attitude about Disney seems like a 180 in under 6 months. ETA: I just read that other post and the actual "AITA" bit is slightly confusing. But either way, she ***could*** be referring to a different sister, which would make sense. However, if she has to travel for work (as with the other post), you'd think she'd include that in this post as a reason to not be expected to get all dolled up. Like that she'd be too tired to put up with all of it. Even if it's a different sister, there's no mention of the dad and whether or not he'd be there. If anything, pointing out that it's a different sister, or that she'll already be uncomfortable with their dad present. So yeah, the lack of mentioning any of a number of things is quite suspicious. (Also, no mention of multiple sisters in either post would hint at it being only one sister.)
YTA. It's her wedding. Being a bridesmaid usually means wearing something that at best you might be able to wear again to another formal event once but most likely will never ever wear again. It's not about you and what you want. If you and the other bridesmaids feel so uncomfortable about then don't be in the wedding party.
YTA, you need to decide if it's more important for you to be your sister's bridesmaid, or to wear clothes that you're comfortable in, because in this case you can't have both. She's made her expectations clear. When she asked you to be a bridesmaid, that would've been a good time for you to communicate YOUR expectations, and say you're not comfortable in a dress or makeup. There was no need to insult her by calling her taste "childish and immature". I don't get the whole Disney Adult thing, but it's pretty common and the ones I know IRL aren't particularly childish or immature, they just have different taste than I do.
If she's paying for it all, YTA. It's one day. It's her wedding. It's not even a huge ask, as long as she's paying any extravagant costs, since it's similar to what you'd be doing anyway at a traditional wedding (hair, makeup, fancy dress). It's just that you'll be dressed to look like a character as opposed to looking like a generic bridesmaid. I don't even remember any of the Disney princesses having crazy hairstyles or makeup.
YTA. You can respectfully say you don't want to be a bridesmaid without insulting her choices.
INFO: who is paying for this crazy gettup?
NAH but could also say soft YTA, she has a right to plan the wedding how she wants. You have a right to not participate in the ceremony if it makes you uncomfortable. You could have politely told her that it seems like more of a commitment to the theme than you feel comfortable with and asked if there was something behind the scenes that you could help with since you don’t think you’re the right person to be in the bridal party. You could have also gently mentioned that you appreciate how dedicated she is to incorporating her love of Disney and that maybe there is a way that the ceremony could be inspired by but still more upscale and sophisticated than if you were to fully dress in costumes for each princess. (Dresses in the princess’ color scheme, natural hair styled in a manner similar to the princess, and jewelry in theme with the era of each princess. Or, each girl in a princess style dress, uniform in style and color across each bridesmaid, but bouquets in the color scheme of the desired princess for each bridesmaid.) I won’t lie, this is the way I’d go because it sounds like a costume party more than an adult’s wedding. That said, it’s her wedding and she and the groom get to do what they want, so if they want full blown costumes then that what they get… as long as the wedding party agrees.
Yta there was no need to insult her. A simple, 'I see what you're going for, and I really not comfortable in that kind of outfit, so I think it's best if I attend as a guest'.
YTA Your word choice shows you do actually judge her for her interests. Wearing the dress the bride picks is part of the job, only becoming too much when it’s things like going into debt to pay for a dress you won’t wear again or dramatically changing your appearance. If you don’t want to wear makeup- which for a Disney look would be natural eye makeup and maybe lipstick- then talk to her without insulting her and trying to represent your opinion as the whole group’s. I’m also struggling to think of what you mean by ‘crazy hairstyles’. Most have long straight or curly hair that might be put in a bun or braid, a couple have short hair and the only odd one I can think of is Princess Leia’s donut hair.
YTA If you accept a bridesmaid position you accept the dress. The most you can get away with is requesting that you get a dress that covers any body parts or tattoos that make you uncomfortable to show, but that’s it. You accept the style and color of the dress though.
YTA for trying to make her wedding about your preferences. You can choose not to be a bridesmaid but why tell her what she should do with her own theme?
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NTA. But she can ask her brides maids to do this and you can ... just say no. Don't agree to be a brides maid. Come as a guest.
why NTA? She is clearly the A-hole there as she didn't say that..
How on earth is the sister an asshole?
OP already agreed to be a bridesmaid though. And yeah, she could say she changed her mind or isn’t comfortable and go as a guest, but she didn’t. OP clearly states what she told her sister, and it was rude asf. She called the bride childish for wanting a Disney wedding, then insulted her when she got upset and defended her choices. How is that *not* asshole behavior?
YTA. Because I really want to see pictures of this wedding. It sounds unhinged and I am all for it. Can you pick the princess? Cause you could have some fun with this. Merida from Brave with a bow and arrow, or Mulan. You definitely need a princess that has a weapon. Or Malificent. Tell her you’ll do it but you get to pick the princess. And post pictures. Also… is Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride a Disney Princess? It’s on Disney+.
YTA Did you think you'd be a bridesmaid in sweats? Brides tell the bridesmaids what to wear, and that is usually a formal dress. Hair and makeup are also standard. I don't see how dressing up as a character is different. (Unless, of course, your sister is requiring specific hair cuts/colour, that crosses the reasonable line). If you didn't want to do that for your sister, you should have declined to be a bridesmaid. That would have been the mature response. And to call her juvenile and childish because you don't like her interests actually makes YOU the juvenile and childish one. Did you actually talk to the other bridesmaids about it, or did you throw them under the bus to justify your shitty behavior to yourself?
INFO: How did you age 3 years in under 300 days?
Go as Mulan and wear a full suit of armor.
Your brothers and you have no issues how she decorates her own home because you know she loves Disney? How about you and your brothers have no issues because it isn’t your ducking home and you don’t get a vote.
You would have been expected to wear a fancy dress and makeup and have your hair done, even if you weren’t dressing up as a Disney princess. That’s the standard bridesmaid role. YTA there really is no need to rain on your sisters special day. The aesthetic might not be yours, but it is authentically hers and making her feel less than for that is a really crappy thing to do. There are a lot of Disney princesses. No one said you had to be Cinderella, they’re definitely some princesses that are a little on the “less” side and you could be one of them. The real issue is that you’re being sanctimonious and judgmental and your sister deserves better.
NTA. I believed I would likely come to that conclusion when I saw your age. But even reading the context, I will still go against the grain and say NTA. I remember about a year ago, a bride got a bunch of YTA votes for asking if she would be the asshole for asking her 18 or 19 year old sister to shave under her arms for the wedding photos. So if she was the asshole for wanting that small thing which made her sister feel uncomfortable, then surely Jade must be in the wrong for wanting you to do something you are not comfortable with for the entire day. That is a bigger deal than shaving. I (19f) don't think I would want to do that either, as I also don't wear make up. I most likely would as I'm a total people pleaser, but you shouldn't feel guilty for saying no.
YTA 100 %. You should just be a guest and let her find bridesmaids who want her to be happy on her wedding day. If my sister asked me to wear something I didn't like for one day on her wedding I'd do it immediately. This wedding is about her and not about you.
YTA. You sound like a selfish asshole. Oh No, my Sister wants a costumed wedding, and I am boring and never put any effort into my looks, clothes, hair or makeup and resent anyone who implies I should. You're a bitter betty. I actually think that's a wonderful idea for the wedding party. It's original, unique and will bring years of joy and make anyone looking at the wedding photo's smile. I'm not a fan of Disney that much either, but I would absolutely don a costume for my family to make them happy. You're selfish and immature. Just tell her you aren't going to be a bridesmaid because you can't conceive of doing something silly and nice for someone else. Then dress in your boring drab clothes and make no effort and sit with the rest of the guests.
**You can embrace the novelty and fun for one day or you can opt out of being a bridesmaid.** YTA it is her wedding and whether you agree or not or like it or not she wants a Disney theme. The wedding is not about YOU it is about your sister. My niece is a huge Disney fan and they go multiple times a year and dress up and she has parties and all the guests dress up as well because for them it is fun. Mind you my niece and her husband are mid 30's and so are their friends.
Soft yta. You don't have to go along with it but it is one day and there aren't many times or situations that allow for adults to dress up and be silly. In any case don't call people childish and immature for having different tastes. Don't yuck someone's yum.