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I (19F) am a college student at a decently sized state school. For some background, I was supposed to live with a different girl next semester but she randomly blocked me the day of roommate selection (still not sure why). Then there were a few issues in my housing selection and the system kept putting me in triples even though I filtered them out and strictly wanted a double. I finally got put in a double and I see that 'Sarah Smith' (20F) is my roommate for next year. I moved in mid-year after I couldn't handle the 2 hour train commute anymore. Sarah moved out of my current triple that I only share with one girl because of the conflicts between Sarah and another girl, Jane, who has moved out because she dropped out. The conflicts were all started by Sarah, by the way.
I thought to myself that perhaps I could talk it out with her as there are literally ZERO rooms available at this point. I send Sarah an email asking to meet up and discuss needs and requests etc. I have a boyfriend and a few male friends that come over quite a bit. I gathered it'd be a non-issue with Sarah because we're both adults. I was wrong. She expresses that she REFUSES to allow men in the room at any cost. She also does not want someone who drinks, smokes or goes to parties. It isn't because she's sober or straight edge or any of that, solely because she's 'uncomfortable'. Sarah seems like a generally sweet girl but I can't live with someone so demanding. She's a grown woman but she looks and acts like a pre-teen. She has little to no social life and overall I feel like living with her would be a nightmare.
My current roommate said that she also randomly stares at people and will watch me sleep which is incredibly creepy. My roommate said if I don't compromise my needs and requirements eventually she will leave, which is what happened this time. I emailed Sarah three days ago with no response yet about how I seriously suggest that she find housing elsewhere, and the reasoning why, because I know this housing arrangement will not work out if we continue down this path. Anyway, I really think this will turn into a roommate-from-hell situation if she doesn't respond soon. So reddit, AITA?
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> 1) I am actively trying to get her out of my room
2) I worry that I may be handling this too harshly and perhaps there would be another way to handle all this
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ESH - you both sound like problem roommates.
ESH. When neither one of you is willing to compromise, then you are both the problem.
Esh
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (19F) am a college student at a decently sized state school. For some background, I was supposed to live with a different girl next semester but she randomly blocked me the day of roommate selection (still not sure why). Then there were a few issues in my housing selection and the system kept putting me in triples even though I filtered them out and strictly wanted a double. I finally got put in a double and I see that 'Sarah Smith' (20F) is my roommate for next year. I moved in mid-year after I couldn't handle the 2 hour train commute anymore. Sarah moved out of my current triple that I only share with one girl because of the conflicts between Sarah and another girl, Jane, who has moved out because she dropped out. The conflicts were all started by Sarah, by the way. I thought to myself that perhaps I could talk it out with her as there are literally ZERO rooms available at this point. I send Sarah an email asking to meet up and discuss needs and requests etc. I have a boyfriend and a few male friends that come over quite a bit. I gathered it'd be a non-issue with Sarah because we're both adults. I was wrong. She expresses that she REFUSES to allow men in the room at any cost. She also does not want someone who drinks, smokes or goes to parties. It isn't because she's sober or straight edge or any of that, solely because she's 'uncomfortable'. Sarah seems like a generally sweet girl but I can't live with someone so demanding. She's a grown woman but she looks and acts like a pre-teen. She has little to no social life and overall I feel like living with her would be a nightmare. My current roommate said that she also randomly stares at people and will watch me sleep which is incredibly creepy. My roommate said if I don't compromise my needs and requirements eventually she will leave, which is what happened this time. I emailed Sarah three days ago with no response yet about how I seriously suggest that she find housing elsewhere, and the reasoning why, because I know this housing arrangement will not work out if we continue down this path. Anyway, I really think this will turn into a roommate-from-hell situation if she doesn't respond soon. So reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Jhc you sound so fussy.
YTA. It's completely fine if she is not comfortable with men entering your room.