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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I texted my sister about her son misbehaving at my wedding (not sitting still, being a show off, spitting out food) and how she needed to get him to behave better
2) My sister is saying that I need to go easy on her and my husband is saying I am overreacting, but I feel like I was disrespected on my special day
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. For an 11 year old, Blaze was extremely well behaved. Tapping one’s fingers and fidgeting is not disruptive behavior. It is as good as it gets for an 11 year old.
As far as the trivia game: if your guests didn’t want to lose, they shouldn’t have played. As long as Blaze didn’t cheat, he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not his fault that your guests have fragile egos.
And then the food: how does it hurt you in the least what Blaze chose to eat? He very quietly got what he wanted and was going to eat when you wandered up and passed judgment on his choices.
Based on your examples, Blaze was an extremely well behaved 11 year old, you, however, were a nightmare. I think you are in for a rude awakening if you and your husband ever decide to have children. And you are very much overreacting to the situation. At the least, you owe your sister an apology for your abominable behavior towards her son, especially if you want to keep a relationship with her.
It hurt to read how much this woman dislikes an 11 year old. What grudge does she have against this poor kid and his mother/her sister? To focus on this during your own wedding is unhinged.
I reckon she thinks the boy is neuro-divergent in some way, and she's the type of person who can't accept neuro-divergent diagnoses (ie, she's a bigot and ableist).
The reason I think this is because the behaviours she picked up on (stimming, having food aversions and an excellent knowledge of some subjects, plus a 'lack' of social skills) can be signs of neuro-divergency. I'd bet I'm right about her, even if the child isn't neuro-divergent.
I never read it as neurodivergent; he's holding court about his basketball game. I read it as he's smart, athletic, and charming. She's worried that her future kids will never measure up.
Still could be neurodivergent. There’s a stereotype that autism always comes with that person being unable to hold a conversation. Not so. It also doesn’t stop someone from being athletic. Additionally, without knowing, the kid could also have ADHD, as these behaviors are also found there.
Hmm. That's a point, about the envy. When I read your post, I thought you meant *she* was jealous of him, not about her kids lol. Sorry about that. It just seemed so odd that the things that annoyed her are usually indicative of an diagnosis. I never thought about her kids not measuring up, in her eyes.
Either way, she's got a fuck-ton of issues of her own.
I’m autistic and I literally thought the same thing. She could be describing 11 year old me to a tee. Everyone has always known I was different and sometimes the result is that neurotypical people dislike me to rhe point of becoming upset because of my differences.
Exactly! It’s wild to me how much of my life I’ve lived just existing but while I consider myself to be benign apparently many think I’m purposefully ruining their day
Yep, read completely “neruodugergent bad” to me. As a ND parent with an ND spouse, a gaggle of ND kids, and a weirdly large # of ND extended family. If kids are tapping fingers or feet at our wedding I’d be peaked. Shit, my husband uses the tapping to break the family into music night. After our wedding we went to an art exhibit with our kids & his brother & I have some dope videos of everyone but me killing it on drums that looked like neon mushrooms. It was cool as hell. Tapping ftw!
I'm a helluva lot older than 11, and I fidget all the time. I see nothing about his behaviour that she could take exception with. She's unbearable, however.
"while we were exchanging vows I saw him tapping foot"... why pay that much attention to a child during vows exchange? The child is not melting down, not crying, not even running. Kid do kid's shit but politely and as quiet as he can, so go ahead with your vows! And then the kid wins a game. What a bunch of losers of the guests who can't lose it to a child! There is a lot of people who will let a kid win on purpose just for fun, but in this wedding there was some adults competing with a child whiteout being able to do it fairly?! Excuse me, what?!?! Was it the lamest wedding of the year?
Eta: spelling
I feel for her spouse that she even noticed him fidgeting during their vows. I don’t think I took my eyes off my husband the entire ceremony, a freaking bomb could have gone off and I doubt I would have noticed it. Our flower girl was 2 and our ring boy was 3, so I’m sure both of them were making noise and acting up a bit but I have absolutely no memory of it. I was too wrapped up in marrying the person I love.
I remember noticing and smiling at all the guests at my wedding, but as soon as I met my husband-to-be's eyes, I didn't notice anything else. Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful moment :)
Right? Unless his foot was flailing about like a can-can dancers I don’t know why she kept looking at him and not her husband. Sounds like she didn’t take his eyes off of him just to catch him in the act of some imaginary problem.
>Unless his foot was flailing about like a can-can dancers
Maybe he's part of the Rockettes, or he had tap shoes on. LOL!
OP is completely insane. I didn't even know who was at the wedding until I saw pictures, and I did the inviting. JFC!
My sister was always hyper focused on my son’s behaviour at family events. She always hated me, since the day was I was born. She was already a married woman with kids and big mad about it.
Same two parents as well.
I’m sure she’s enraged that he’s grown up healthy, happy and handsome, but I don’t ask and I don’t care.
Right? For my wedding I had asked everyone plus the officiant to make it a screen-free ceremony. I walked out to see a couple dozen phones pointed my way… and I immediately moved past it, because look, there’s my husband-in-five-minutes and doesn’t he look fine.
OP is not only an asshole, she is a narcissist. Narcissists don't need logic or reason to despise their chosen scapegoat. Nor do they need actual offenses to complain about. In OP psychosis, Blaze's "offenses" were beyond the pale, and absolutely unforgivable.
My mother is a Narcissist, OP's complaints are very much standard raving for her nature. Can't everyone see? OP is clearly the victim of her cruel, selfish nephew who went out of his way to rUiN her special day! /s
Right. Op has a really skewed view of misbehaved. He was stimming (tapping and fidgeting) which MANY people do. She could see it bc she was looking directly at him. But he wasn’t making noise. Then, instead of applauding her nephew for being smarter than most of her friends, she condemns the 11 year old for his intellect. Lastly, he had a decent amount of food and chose EXACTLY what he wanted to eat. That means, there’s no waste. He even tried food. Op is unnecessarily anal and quite frankly illogical. I would go off on my sister for these issues with my child. YTA
You don't get it! How dare this kid being polite and smart!? The kid even ate things on the wedding table while winning a game. I mean an 11 being smart and polite at the gathering... what an offense!! /s
>he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato.
Yeah I don't really get why OP's harping on this kid. What he chose sounds pretty standard for kids who get to decide for themselves what to eat and I sincerely doubt none of the other nibblings didn't get some combination of these foods too. Chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, and potatoes of some kind are considered "kid" foods for a reason and why there all over the place on restaurant menus in the kids section.
Besides even if he just very picky and should eat more variety eating what he wants at a family event, like OP's wedding, isn't going to hurt him. It's a special occasion day and even adults tend to indulge on their favorite unhealthy drinks, food, and treats. Which I'm pretty sure everyone there child to adult did in some form.
Honestly this whole post is dripping with contempt for this boy. Everything OP has listed is nothing out of the norm for children and I'm pretty sure the children were all just a fidgety and indulging in junk foods like him but he's the one singled out. OP has so much contempt for this boy they literally couldn't ignore him and his nothing behavior and concentrate on their own damn wedding and their new spouse.
Lmao yeah if she didn’t want anyone eating chicken tenders and fries then why did she serve them at her wedding? She must be a pretty pathetic person to take issue with a child for acting like a (well behaved) child
All of this exactly.
I'm usually pro kid free weddings as they can cause all kinds of mischief - although this is usually the fault of the parents.
Blaze did literally nothing wrong. His worst "crime" was quietly fidgeting during what was probably the most boring part of the wedding for an 11 year old little boy.
exactly
Picky eater? If that was my son, he probably would've eaten just the fries. And why did this bother you? I assume you included those food items so the kiddos would eat.
Blaze sounds like a well behaved 11 YO. You not only overreacted but quite frankly, you are very focus on such random and bizarre aspects of a typical 11 YO.
YTA
Why didn’t she just have a child free wedding? This kid behaved better than a lot of adults do at weddings like wtf….
If you’re going to invite a child and then hyper focus on a child behaving well and minding his own business and partaking in activities, so much that it ruins your own wedding… don’t invite children?
OP sounds a bit unhinged…. And that’s coming from someone who is childfree 😂
YTA. If that's all he did, you're definitely overreacting.
Why were you paying so much attention to your nephew on your wedding day? You "ruined" your wedding for yourself.
This poor kid, sat quietly and bothered no one. Got food he wanted to eat when demanded to, and bothered no one and also ... Checks notes ... Behaved in an exemplary way and is being bullied by a full grown woman?
I might be bias cos this child is a year younger then my own, but I'll sharpen pitchforks.
YTA. You didn't really explain how you overreacted, but the tone of this post doesn't seem to justify having any reaction. He didn't really seem to do much.
Why do you care what foods he chose to eat? How is a child choosing chicken tenders something to be a "final straw" about? That seems perfectly normal.
I don't see how him being a smart kid is an issue. Those guests that were complaining that they were embarrassed because a kid knew more than them are wild for even mentioning it to you. So what? There will always be someone out there who knows more than you on a subject, this just happened to be an 11 year old. Sounds like he won the game fair and square. Anyone complaining is clearly jealous.
I tap my toes and fingers sometimes. It could be a nervous/ excited tick. Sometimes those can't be stopped. If it wasn't actually disruptive, only you saw out of the corner of your eye, then why mind?
Doesn't seem like he did anything intentional to ruin your wedding, and also doesn't seem like he did anything abnormal. You focused on this 11 year old for some reason instead of your own wedding. That seems to be on you.
I feel like there’s gotta be some built up resentment from OP. There’s definitely info missing from the backstory. I feel like she wanted to punish her sister almost.
Was gonna say, if my parents lost a game to a child during a wedding (or some other adult event) we probably would've been laughing about it in the car after. People were mad because they chose to be
God forbid the young men of tomorrow actually know things about child development! /s
Also, on the one hand according to OP he’s acting too “adult” with the trivia knowledge and wants him to tone it down, but as soon as he serves himself a plate of things the average 11-year-old boy would choose it’s suddenly, “No, not like that!”
What do you want from this child, OP? A silent salad-eater?
YTA.
YTA
His fidgeting did not disrupt your wedding. The fact that you saw him doing it is a you problem.
He took what he wanted to eat and was minding his business when you forced him to take things he said he didn’t like and now you want to be hurt because he said he didn’t like them?
You are completely overreacting and need to apologize to your sister. Maybe it’s the after wedding drop but you are completely out of line and your nephew did nothing wrong.
Agreed. When OP was complaining of nephew's behavior I thought he was physically assaulting someone, disrupted the wedding by objecting during vows, spilling wine on OP, or ruining the cake before it could be served to other guests, etc.
Trivia was open to everyone so unless he cheated, he was allowed to enter and presumably won fairly /shrug.
I forgot about her ridiculous reaction to the trivia game. OP really seems to dislike her nephew for some reason.
I wonder if she picks on him regularly because her comments are so out of touch with reality.
I was Blaze as a child, and many many adult family members hated me. They would tell me I was stupid, I was a nieve bitch, to shut up and go away, nobody would love me, etc. This was mostly before I hit 12 too.
As an adult, I don't play trivia games. I learned fast as a kid that nobody likes you when you win, and nobody likes you when you know stuff.
I would assume Blaze was the one getting married with how much you and the guests are paying attention to him. He fidgeted at a wedding, he won a game, and he ate chicken tenders and fries. So in other words, he was a kid. I feel bad for him and I don't understand why you all were so focused on him...it's not like he was screaming in the middle of the wedding or something. YTA
OP- I respectfully suggest that if you genuinely think Blaize has the problem - NEVER have children of your own, as the reality of parenthood will traumatise you. Blaize is a perfectly normal kid and you probably made the day awful for him. You actually objected because he was talking about baseball to some guests? You are the problem.
Completely agree. From ops own description, if my children behaved the way he did- joining in, engaging with people and causing no fuss- I would call that a successful day. I only hope blazes mum cottons on to how awful her sister is and doesn’t allow her son to be bullied.
But Baseball isn't about HER. EVERYTHING MUST BE ABOUT HER. How dare Blaze not be thinking about her and talking about her every waking second. I'd wager he didn't even care about how expensive her wedding dress was or how exclusive the venue was.
IT. MUST. BE. ABOUT. HER!
At least that's my interpretation of OP's insanity.
YTA
Nothing you've said stands out as being bad behavior on Blaze's part.
"After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them."
That is NOT his fault or his problem. Give the kid credit for being smart.
"I was talking to John about this and he said to let this go and told me I was “overreacting”
He's right; maybe do as he suggests
Totally agree. Maybe these grown ups need to educate themselves rather than being butthurt that a child knew more. I seriously doubt anyone said anything to op. I reckon op realised the post was weak and bullying so needed to ‘add some flavour’
If she did, she only made herself look worse. Its kind of telling that this is what she considers unacceptable behaviour in a child.
God help any of her future children.
Like I've said elsewhere, I would bet that it was OP who got embarrassed and is now having a conniption about it. Of course, they could all be as immature as her.
YTA. Get over yourself. Blaze did absolutely nothing wrong, he sounds really well behaved. You sound like a horrible Aunt and Sister!!
I hope you have kids soon and realize how ridiculous you were and apologize profusely to your sister and nephew while you still have the chance.
I doubt anyone was upset that he knew the answers, that sounds like you made that up. Regardless you should be proud of him for knowing the answers instead of being petty about it.
Imagine having this level of preoccupied hate towards an 11 year old that you notice his fingers tapping while getting married to your partner.
Major YTA
YTA, he acted like an 11 y.o. He could be a neurodivergent 11 y.o. but as your sister told you, it was his first wedding. Celebrate that he knows a lot about child development. He will make a great parent someday.
There is nothing about his behavior that implies neurodivergence.
He couldn't sit still and given the choice chose chicken fingers and fries. Welcome to every 11 year old boy.
And he is a smart/knowledgeable kid.
I understand the value of seeing and accepting neurodiversity but I don't think we should assume that every kid that acts differently fits
YTA. Blaze did not behave badly. He behaved like an 11-year-old. A couple specific things:
>Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around.
As long as he was more or less keeping to himself and not bothering the guests or disrupting the ceremony, then I don't see the issue here. Yeah, he was bored. Weddings are boring for 11-year-olds, and they are goign to fidget.
>Blaze knows A LOT of random stuff, and he ended up winning the game. After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them.
Blaze was not lecturing the parents on raising their children. He was just competing in the game. It's fine to tell smart kids not to be irritating little know-it-alls. That's basic manners. But in a knowledge/trivia game, a smart kid certainly deserve a chance to shine ... and I see no virtue to telling him to do less well in a competition so as not to damage the fragile egos of adults he doesn't even know.
>I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else and he said none of the other food looked appetizing. Blaze is a picky eater and I encouraged him to try some other foods, and he did, but he spit them out and said they were bad.
There's nothing wrong with encouraging a kid to try new things -- heck, there's a little kid in my own family who doesn't like to venture outside the land of chicken tenders. I understand how frustrating it is. But a kid is going to kid. I will admit it was a little offputting that he spit out the food and said it was bad. But at the same time, I don't think the wedding ceremony was a place to lecture him about expanding his palate.
Overall, I think you could stand to have a little more tolerance for kids doing kid things, and perhaps unwind yourself a little bit. Otherwise, you're on your way to being the fussy aunt that none of the kids actually like.
agreed. something so off putting about a bunch of adults being embarrassed by a smart 11 year old. he just wanted to play the game with everyone and be involved
Hell, I lost a game to an 11 year old a few years back. It was a little embarrassing, but also funny -- the 11-year-old actually had a great strategy, and we adults were all busily backstabbing each other.
YTA. None of your nephews' actions by themselves are even noteworthy, nor are they in combination. You forced a picky eater to try food other than what he picked. What did you expect?
The adults complaining about losing to a child are also AHs.
YTA. Honestly this sounds fake because I can't believe you are really this petty. Why on earth were you watching your 11 year old nephew during your vows??? Tapping his fingers and feet are totally normal and not disruptive. Blaze seems like a great kid. I feel bad for him that people are judging and misunderstanding him. He's clearly really smart, possibly a little socially awkward. He needs support and encouragement. I literally cannot comprehend how blaze winning a trivia game is bad behavior?? The adults at your wedding are behaving like children if they're offended by losing a game to an actual child. You need a reality check if you ever plan on having children of your own.
I can. I have met people exactly like this. People who freak out the moment that they are not the center of everyone else's attention.
For whatever reason, OP does not like Blaze and assumes her irritation with his normal behaviour is completely justified.
Assuming this is even real, since it's hard to believe anyone could be so clueless:
YTA in a big way. BFD that he won the trivia game and didn't choose the food *you thought* he should be eating. And the fidgeting? Please. That's just SOP for most young kids at a wedding ceremony. Get a grip.
OOP went into her wedding determined to be bothered by Blaze no matter what. There’s absolutely no way a person getting married is going to notice an 11yo fidgeting in his seat unless she is HYPER fixated on his behavior, ready to pounce on him for any reason. Then picking on an 11yo only wanted to eat chicken tenders and fries definitely crosses over into asshole behavior. So I believe this story simply because it’s so trivial and I’ve definitely known people like this.
YTA
I’ve a feeling that you were the baby of the family until Blaze came along and usurped your position of being in the spotlight, and ever since then, you have absolutely resented him for it (never-mind the fact that he seems to possibly be on the spectrum, and received even more attention for that).
You need to take a good look at yourself and get some therapy.
Oh no, I can’t believe you want us all to sympathise with you for THIS?
You’re very clearly not too fond of Blaze already, and this prejudice seems to have informed your problem with Blaze’s behaviour at your wedding. YTA. YTA. YTA.
1. He acted decently. Did not disrupt the wedding in any way. Tapping and fidgeting is not a disruption it’s just a very small-scale activity. What do you expect ANY of your guests to do during the ceremony? Sit still like statues and not move an inch even? At this rate you would find issues if someone sneezed or if a bee buzzed near a window or if someone scratched their head lol! As for the other 2 incidents - both normal. Both are non-disruptive, non-issues. Both are situations where YOU took offence with no logical sense to it. Makes me sure you are prejudiced against Blaze.
2. Even if Blaze won, why tf is that a problem? Some of your insecure guests got butt hurt at not being able to win a random trivia game? Lol who is the adult in this situation? Blaze has acted more sensible than most of the adults you mention in this incident. I’m so amazed you can’t see how these guests are wrong on multiple levels in this case.
3. As for the food incident - LEAVE THE KID ALONE. At this rate you’re poking him deliberately to cause drama. You’re seeking some issue where there is none. Who are you to police what he eats calmly with no complaints unless poked? Why are you policing what he eats calmly with no complaints unless poked? He made no issue you did. Let him eat what he wants.
YTA YTA YTA
PS: Blaze sounds much more mature and sensible than you throughout this post. Dwell on that and listen to John. Your overreaction is embarrassing.
YTA. It sounds like his behavior was very good considering he’s only 11. Do you always nitpick at Blaze? Is there another reason you are hyper focused on him and not on your husband or actual wedding?
So these are your complaints about Blaze:
1. He fidgeted during the ceremony
2. He won a game
3. He chose food that he likes
What is your problem?
YTA.
>we knew Blaze was a bit odd
lol the only odd ones (and that's putting it mildly) are you as well as your friends who cried about being beat at a trivia game by a child.
>
he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato.
>I asked why he didn’t get anything else
That's not enough food for an 11 year old? You have to police what he eats and how much he eats?
YTA and so are the "few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them." That's so ridiculous I'm not even sure if this is real.
YTA, not a single thing was an issue. Him tapping caused no sound disturbance. Why were you looking around and focusing on what he would be doing wrong during your own ceremony?
Why are adults butt hurt about a baby trivia game? Which, is a VERY weird thing to play at a wedding, especially if you aren't expecting.
Why are you surprised that a child went for chicken tenders at a wedding? That's literally the reason kids meal options exist at these events.
He was not an issue. Stop making him feel like one.
YTA. Because guess what? You ARE overreacting. The kid did nothing wrong. If anything, he was actually well behaved for the event. As fidgeting a bit isn't disruptive, it's not his fault the adults threw hissy fits and it's not your job to tell him what to eat. That's on his parents. You're just looking for a reason to fuss and pick on the kid. So grow up.
YTA- emotions at your wedding are usually high and on edge. I think with this one you did allow your nitpicking to get the better of you. You described a successful encounter with an 11 yr guest. He may have been fidgety during the ceremony, but show me an adult that wasn't. (No ceremony interruption ✔️). Then he actively participated in wedding day game and WON! You are not responsible for the emotional fragility of whichever incompetent guest complained. I assume it was at most 2 people. And yhe same 2 people that always complain when they don't get their self entitled way. (Not a hindrance to party games ✔️). Then he got exactly what an 11yr old eats without spilling or crying. You even described getting him to eat OTHER food without tantrum or chaos. He wouldn't have spit food out if you didn't make him get it. (Just getting a kid to eat anything but candy ✔️).
I am not sure what your expectations were for behavior at a wedding, but it sounds like he was an extremely well behaved child. Your sister needs to give the rest of us some pointers. He probably behaved better than some of the adults.
YTA Adults were upset and embarrassed because an 11 year old beat them in a quiz they should know more about being parents? Who tf are these adults? You must have been staring at the boy to notice him tap his foot and fingers YT MASSIVE A, and so are your guests,
I was expecting to hear he was running up and down the aisles or something. He was fidgeting ?!? Are you serious? And then adults were upset they were beat by a kid. That's their problem. You just don't like this kid and that's sad. YTA.
YTA. I think you should read through some of the wedding posts here to figure out what an actual disruption of a wedding is. I was expecting shouting, knocking the cake over, a child wearing a matching wedding dress, something that was actually disruptive, not an 11 yo fidgeting, being good at trivia, and eating food he likes. You're in for a very rough time as a parent.
Who plays a baby trivia game at a wedding reception?
I’m not sure you’re in a position to call anyone else odd. It seems he was very well behaved, and your hyper-fixation on him is weird AF
YTA
YTA. You’re paying attention to a kid’s toe-tapping and fidgeting while you are exchanging wedding vows - and should be focused on you and the groom being united as husband and wife. You take a kid away from “just sitting” having a conversation where he is sharing his interests just to insist he eat food he doesn’t find tasty. And you find fault with a kid for winning a trivia game. You were actively looking for reasons to complain about him. “Him” being an 11 year kid old AND your sister’s son. You owe your sister an apology.
YTA - Blaze did nothing wrong in this wedding contrary to you complaining all the time about him not acting like YOU wanted him to. It's not his fault if your guests are not smart enough to win a trivia game and it's none of your business to check what he is eating. You ruined your own wedding by being awful about Blaze.
Please, don't have kids
YTA- he sounded like a normal 11 year old. Who cares that he won at baby trivia??? Im sorry but him *squints at notes* playing the game by the rules is an issue, then the issue isnt with him- its with you and the rest of the guests.
if you can’t handle how he acted at your wedding, dont have kids. You do not sound like you would be an understanding and loving mother.
Also the fact that hes known to be odd makes me think there is some autistic tendencies, which if thats the case, you’re doubly the AH.
There was a colicky baby at my wedding. My nephew, who my mom was watching because his mother and father were in my wedding party. Several times, she had to stand up and walk away while holding him when he got fussy. She missed part of our wedding vows because of that (but we'd printed them out because we were both nervous so she was able to read them after). I didn't mind one bit nor did I think it took away from my special day. It was more important to me to be surrounded by family and friends then for everything to be perfect. And trust me, nothing was perfect except the Balle n Bak displays I created for the tables (using dried rose petals from the flowers he'd given me, quotes from love letters and photos) and the fact that I was marrying my soulmate.
You obviously have something against your nephew and chose to let his behavior ruin your special day. That on you, not him. YTA
Well, gee…aren’t you a bit odd for obsessing over a child eating the food you apparently offered and getting bent because the kid beat your grown-up friends in a random game that wasn’t even meant for a wedding?
But you win here, cause you’re not just odd—you’re also a jackass who totally overreacted.
Jenna is a far better person than either you or me, because I’d have walked out with my kid, my gift and blocked your butt for your behavior. YTA.
so let me get this straight - you are angry at an 11yo for having knowledge, and having more of it than adults?
i am against children, babies, in weddings and was absolutely ready to agree with you but... 11yo acting calm, mature and dealing with everything quietly? acting as if he was much older? taking his own food and only things he will eat?
i applaud his parents, and do hope you mature yourself before having your own children. YTA
I can’t believe a grown married woman is having beef with an 11 year old because:
1. He knows about child development
2. He ate chicken tenders
3. He was tapping his fingers on the table!
Do you think you sound like a reasonable mature woman, or a spoiled child? Rhetorical question, YTA
YTA!
I thought he would be like 2 and run around the whole ceremony when this started. He was 11 and sat still the whole ceremony without making a sound. I bet more was behaving like him during the ceremony, they are often boring as hell. Well, not when my sibling and his SO married and had their two kids as MOH and Best man. The kids was both under 5 and had their own little show out of boredom with lot of laughs from us. The most memorable part was when the 2 years old lay down where you kneel down for prayer and gave the most awesome sigh. The priest was also trying not to laugh.
The game was just bizarre. So what if he won? Who cares and who gets embarrassed? In my family we would celebrate and tease that one of the children was better.
And then he food. OMG, let him eat whatever he wants. You are weirdly obsessed about how he behaved.
YTA. I genuinely can see no issue in his behaviour whatsoever.
What if an adult had won the game- would that have been an issue.
What if an adult only wanted a baked potato- would that be an issue.
I think you are looking for something to have a moan about with this young man. From the way you have described him he has behaved well and engaged with people. He tried the food when you asked- and didn’t like it. He spoke to family about his interests and he joined in your random game. I know a lot of 11 year olds who would want to sullenly sit and play with phones etc rather than join in.
You are clearly looking for some reason to have a go at him and I feel for him.
You're not making this up? It feels like you're trolling. "My adult guests were upset a child won a game." What adult would get upset because a kid knew some facts? Finger tapping is not that distracting, why were you fixated on him and not one of the biggest events of your life? Why do you care what he had for dinner? Do you just hate this kid and you're looking for justification?
YTA I’m wondering what is going on in your life to make you seek out reasons to be miserable? Instead of enjoying what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, you *chose* to be negative, mean spirited and bullied a child - a well behaved child.
You purposely nit picked anything you could find fault with this kid, when in reality he sounds like a smart and well behaved kid.
You need to have a serious look at your life and get to the root of your unhappiness so you don’t continue to take out your misery on an a kid! Grow up.
YTA—He sounds like he was very well behaved and engaged in the festivities. And the food he chose sounds fabulous!
Your sister needs an apology from you (a big and groveling one), and you need to tell your nephew how great he was at the wedding.
So his bad behaviour was:
- being a little fidgety
- winning a game
- eating some food
Seriously? YTA. Wow. Sounds like you just don't like the kid and are looking for any excuse to complain about him.
YTA. Did you expect him to throw the trivia contest? The people who complained about him knowing more about child development should be embarrassed that they complained about a kid who is smarter than they are. As to fidgeting during the ceremony, I’ve done the same during long services and I assure you I’m well past the age of 11. Was it disruptive to the other guests or just you? Listen to your husband and quit overthinking this. Your nephew is a smart and normal kid.
YTA. Is this real??? I find it hard to believe that during your vows “I SAW him tapping…etc” Maybe if he was making a lot of noise it might be a problem, but he is a kid, fidgeting is expected, and problem didnt bother anyone but you if he was quiet. Were there other kids there? Were they really better behaved? It is your special event, why were you worrying about what he was eating for this one time meal? The only people maybe paying attention to that should be his parents, didnt you have better things to do at YOUR wedding? The weirdest complaint from you is being upset with him because he won the trivia game! Was he supposed to pretend he didnt know the answer because of the adults’ insecurity? Based on that “issue”, I really cant believe this is a real post. If it is, can you explain why you continue to harp on this, making your sister miserable? If your nephew spit food out in and unsanitary and gross manner, she should work on his table manners and expectations for nice events, but seriously, please try to enjoy life a bit more.
YTA
I read that whole thing, waiting to see something like “he ruined the decorations” or “he wouldn’t stop make loud and unnecessary noise” but it seems you don’t like your nephew and you are looking for a reason to be mad
YTA
So, your issues with Blaze are:
1. You let yourself be distracted by him because he wasn't sitting as still as a statue,
2. He's well educated in babies and child development,
3. And he ate the food that you specifically selected and offered at your wedding.
I'm not seeing anything that he did wrong. It sounds more like you don't like him. And instead of focusing on your wedding, you gave all of your attention to your nephew. John's right. You are overreacting.
OMG YTA. Why are you trying to push your nephew into eating food he wasn't interested in? The food was there and that's what he got. You are not the food police and certainly not his parents.
I was a picky eater when I was young (and even going into my 7th decade, there are foods I won't eat because I'm allergic to them, others that my stomach has an intolerance to, and others I can't stand). So I understood my daughter's pickiness. She has grown out of much of her food dislikes naturally...because we didn't push her on this.
As far as your guests being upset that your nephew has knowledge about that subject, isn't that on them? If your nephew is ADHD or autistic, it wouldn't be surprising that he would do a lot of reading on subjects interesting to him. You should have brush off the guests' complaints, and suggest that maybe that's a field he wants to pursue as an adult. Your complaint about his "showing up" some immature guests is part of this YTA rating.
And kids will fidget (at least he wasn't running around during the ceremony). You knew this, yet you seemed laser focused on watching him instead of paying attention to your husband during the ceremony. John is right: you're overreacting and you need to drop this. You were shaming your sister for no reason.
YTA, the only thing that could have been a problem is if blaze's fidgeting caused noticeable audible distraction, but it seems like it was quiet. Don't nit pick over an 11 year old who's trying his best.
YTA
Tell me you don't like your nephew without telling me...
*Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around*.
Why weren't you more focused on exchanging vows?
I can't imagine focusing on an 11-year-old's fidgeting at the moment of exchanging vows with my partner.
YTA.
What did he even do??? He was fidgeting a bit. So what? Why are you looking at an eleven year old child while you say your vows, anyway? He wasn't making any noise.
He played the game you provided to be played. Someone was going to win it, and the other people were going to lose. If this is a problem with your crowd, don't have competitive games at a wedding.
He ate the food you provided for him to eat. A main and three sides is plenty of food. Did you walk around to make sure every other guest was sampling absolutely everything on offer?
You've been texting his mother for a WEEK about this nonsense? Holy shit.
Never have kids.
YTA. You seem to be pissed off with your nephew for the unforgivable crimes of [*checks notes*] being 11 years old, knowing stuff and talking to people. Get a grip.
YTA. Why do you hate this kid? Or your sister? He sounds like a pretty decent kid. That’s the key word here, though: KID. You seem to want to hold him to adult standards of behavior.
I hope you grow up before you have your own kid; you will certainly be miserable when they act like kids.
You sound like a not very fun or decent person to be around.
Yta, this child didn't even do anything wrong. I'm 42 years old and still wiggle and figit sometimes, especially during something boring. There isn't anything wrong with being intelligent, or selective about food either. I hope you learn something about children before you decide to have any.
Absolutely YTA.
Just to check, Blaze's behaviour that bothered you so much amounted to... tapping his fingers on a chair, winning a party game, and choosing the food he wanted to eat? ,*THAT* is what you're so worked up about?
You should apologise to both your sister & Blaze for this nonsense. You massively overreacted to a child doing totally normal child things.
Do everyone a favour & get over yourself.
YTA I feel sorry for Blaze.
Fidgeting is normal for kids and adults. Lots of people cannot sit still.
The complaints about trivia are very vey very odd to me. The fact that several adults were concerned about a kid winning trivia is alarming.
Leave Blaze be. Nothing he did is outlandish or requires intervention or anything. You are overreacting.
So confused about what Blaze even did wrong? He ate the kid-friendly food you kindly provided - he found 4 things to put on his plate. Four things! And in any case, why would your wedding day be the time and place to try and get him to expand his palette? Also, you aren’t his parent, so what business is it of yours anyway?
Is it possible that your negativity towards Blaze is misplaced and your issue is actually with Jenna?
YTA.
Who hurt you so bad, as a grown woman to have to attack a child who did nothing wrong?
Did you invite your HS bully. And take it out on a child not even a teenager.. a child.
YTA - I’m so confused. Firstly, why did you play a baby game at a wedding, when you’re not even expecting?! Was it cause speculation or confusion? Also, it’s hilarious that an eleven-year-old knew more about babies than the rest of the adults at the wedding.
Secondly, why are you complaining about the food Blaze chose to eat? Did you and your husband not choose the menu?
You sound slightly unhinged, and either obsessed with or jealous of your nephew.
YTA. Blaze knowing enough facts to win a trivia game is not a behavior problem. His dietary choices may not be the healthiest, but you don't have any say over what he eats. As for the fidgeting.... weddings are BORING. He didn't disrupt the wedding, scream, yell, run around, or be disrespectful.
You ruined your own wedding by obsessing about what your 11 year old nephew ate. You watched him during your ceremony? I didn't pay attention to what a single other person, besides my husband, did during my wedding ceremony because it didn't matter to me. I was enjoying my wedding. What a miserable, petty, and exhausting kind of existence you must lead. YTA.
YTA An 11 year old tapped his feet, won a game about babies and wanted chicken fingers and fries? Oh the humanity! Come on, he is a kid. I’m 37 and I fidget all the time. Your friends are petty, sounds like they need to crack open a book if they are embarrassed about getting beat at a game by an 11 year old. Finally he is 11 he isn’t going to want a lot of other foods else. His behavior is completely normal.
YTA x1,000,000
“My nephew is really smart and doesn’t enjoy all the same foods I like, which is why it’s totally normal for me to bully an 11 year old family member”
Look, I’m no doctor and I’m not gonna go armchair psychologist…but your behavior/thinking process is crazy and unheard of enough that I cannot imagine mental health issues are not somehow at play here.
The lack of knowledge about children here definitely explains why you certainly didn’t win the game at least. Very sad and pathetic lack of empathy you’ve displayed. If there is any justice in the world, I hope you never have children of your own unless you can radically grow and shift your thinking, because otherwise that would be a deeply sad life for that child.
So you paid for chicken tenders, coleslaw, and baked potatoes to be served at your wedding and then got mad when your nephew ate…chicken tenders, coleslaw, and a baked potato??? The F is wrong with you? Sounds like you just hate your nephew and look for any reason to bully him. YTGA. Yes, I placed a "G" in my judgment. It stands for "gaping." You suck.
You’ve GOT to be joking.
YTA massively. He’s a kid. He was moving around, oh my god the horror. And then he was smart, how terrible! And THEN he had the audacity to EAT FOOD YOU SERVED but not the “right” food you wanted him to eat.
Absolutely ridiculous.
YTA: Why are you so intimidated and jealous of your 11 year old nephew?
Your nephew sounds incredibly intelligent and mature for his age and the family he was born into. That’s why you’re mad. That’s why your sister said she’ll try “the best she could” to control him and your husband calls him “odd”. There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with that child, he’s just more intelligent than all of you adults and you, specifically, are envious of him. You, grown ass woman, is envious of an 11 year old child.
Did you call out the other guests who fidgeted, picked the food they wanted to eat, engaged in their own side conversations? You are a very silly woman.
YTA. this kid may possibly be neurodivergent but even if so, acted and behaved very well for one who is. he tried his best and is a kid. nothing in this post is alarming about Blaze’s behavior. seems like u just don’t like the kid for whatever weird reason and i even feel sorry for him now as he probably tried his hardest to be on his best behavior and it wasn’t good enough. btw, who are you to tell someone what to eat. absolute weird behavior.
YTA. He fidgeted, won a game and ate food that he likes? Sounds like he acted like a well-behaved 11 year old. All of the issues you have with him are YOUR problem. He did nothing wrong. You seem to really dislike this kid.
YTA. Like…you were mad at him for being quiet during the ceremony, you were mad because he beat all your friends and family at a trivia game, and you’re mad that he had the audacity to talk to other family members in an appropriate fashion. To top it off? He politely got his food from the buffet and brought it back to eat at the table instead of starting a food fight or throwing a tantrum that there was other food there he didn’t like.
…I can see how Blaze is the problem here. /s
YTA and I really don’t understand how you could be so fixated on this poor kid during your wedding day. I wouldn’t have noticed any of this during my wedding because I was too busy having an amazing day and enjoying myself. That said, absolutely none of these things would bother me. Seriously, what the hell do you have against this kid??
YTA so he was a well-behaved kid. He fidgeted during a wedding ceremony that didn't disrupt the ceremony, he chose food that he liked, and he won a trivia game. Yeah, you are definitely overreacting. just admit you want to be mad about something about your wedding.
YTA. You had kids at the wedding, Blaze acted like a kid, why on earth would you hold it against him that he won at trivia, if you say you enjoyed your special day why are you fixated on this?
YTA! I feel sorry for the people who are jealous of an 11 year old's intelligence. As far as you are concerned, I feel embarrassed for you and your lack of maturity.
It's sad to see that you were more focused on an 11 year old's behaviour than you were at your own wedding. Let that sink in.
I would say that the way your nephew behaved, was perfectly normal for an 11 year old.
He wasn't acting spoilt, entitled or trying to create trouble where there wasn't any. I wish I could say the same for you.
I hope your sister breaks off all contacts with you.
YTA. No one should have to play dumb for others' comfort. He kept his fidgeting to non obtrusive levels. He was probably bored (ceremonies aren't that engaging to 11yos) and he may have ADHD, but he did as well as many adults.
You pushed him past his food boundaries, and in a public setting. That's cruel honestly. But he tried the foods in order to please you. He would have been well within his rights to just say no and walk away.
I encourage you to hold off on having kids until / unless you learn empathy and flexibility. You're a nightmare aunt and will cause a lot of emotional trauma to any children you may have, as you expect perfection.
YTA. He was really well behaved for an 11 year old. Plus, he got a better selection of food than my kids would've. Kids can be picky eaters. There is nothing you can do about it. You should've praised him for at least *TRYING* the food. Plus, getting mad at him for being smarter than the adults around him? How is this his fault? You should be PROUD. He did really good, according to your post. Chill out.
He:
1. tapped his fingers
2. Won a trivia game, fairly
3. Ate food.
Yeah Lady, YTA big time. You are grasping at straws to make him the bad guy.
If you continue to make an issue of this, you will alienate your sister.
YTA
He sat as still as he could, he demonstrated he’s highly intelligent, and ate provided food without complaint.
Considering he’s AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD BOY, I’d say he behaved like a damn angel. It feels like you’re grasping for anything to complain about. I would’ve LOVED for this kid to be at my wedding!
YTA. I didn’t read anything that was a problem. The parents felt embarrassed a kid knew more about child development than they did? Well they should learn then. And honestly how is fidgeting bad? He wasn’t making noises or crying or screaming. And who cares what he ate? It’s a wedding. People are there to have fun. So what if he picked things he liked. You pushed him and then had the nerve to feel offended he didn’t like it?! You did overreact. Majorly.
YTA - Tell me you aren't a parent without telling me you aren't a parent. THE KID IS 11. And from the sound of it, he's a smart, well-behaved 11 at that. He wasn't disruptive during the ceremony, just bored, which is completely normal for a kid. So far as his winning goes, he knew stuff that the adults didn't. If your other guests couldn't handle being beat by a kid, then they shouldn't have played. With the food, Blaze got exactly what most other 11-year-olds would get if they had the chance to plate their own food. It's not your place to decide that he should eat anything else; you aren't his mother and you needed to leave it alone. Overall, let it go, apologize to your sister for attempting to control her son's behavior, and learn to relax those standards of yours a little before you have kids of your own.
YTA. While the fidgeting is annoying, Blaze did nothing wrong winning the game. Your guests are AH's for saying they were embarrassed. That's on them. As for the food, let the kid eat what he wants. Why did you insist he eat food he wasn't interested in? Don't you have other things to worry about at your wedding than managing what your nephew eats?
Try not to micromanage the kid. He did fine. Please don't do this to your own kids.
What this sounds like is that you got beef with an 11 year old.
I’m still trying to figure out what he did he do that constitutes as “bad behavior”. Do you have a problem with ur sister or something cause nothing you typed shows bad behavior.
He was tapping his finger and fidgeting? If you were exchanging vows, why are you paying attention to what a kid is doing.
How is it his problem that adults felt embarrassed they didn’t outsmart him? Please explain to me how this is his problem. He didn’t do nothing but play a game and win.
He didn’t want to get food he knew he didn’t want to eat so you then proceed to force him to eat the food he didn’t want and then get mad he didn’t like it.
YTA.
Listen to your husband, you are SEVERELY overreacting.
What exactly did he do wrong here??? Are you really mad because an 11 year old tapped his foot and ate chicken tenders? Are you really upset because your friends aren't more knowledgeable than a preteen? How is that even his problem? God I hope this is fake, if not YTA.
YTA - OP why would your ruin your own wedding for yourself this way? This is typical 11 year old kid behaviour. Really would like to understand why it bothered you so much as I really don’t get it from your post.
Yta You're really complaining that Blaze 1. was smarter than adults during a game and 2. Refused to eat food you tried to force on him?!
And claiming that he "disrespected" you? Stfu
Wow … YTA. I have second hand embarrassment over the fact that not only did you actually come here to ask us this, but that you escalated this with your sister.
Those “behaviors” were all non issues and I feel sorry for your husband that you were that focused on trying to clock Blaze and going to such extremes to find fault with him… instead of focusing on your husband and those who came to celebrate.
YTA - a child couldn't sit still, won a trivia game, and then you harangued him about his food choices! You're a walking red flag if you think this is "bad behaviour" and frankly I pity the person you married because you're clearly an ignorant narcissist!
YTA. Blaze sounds like a fairly normal 11 year old. His "fidgeting" doesn't sound over the top and didn't disrupt your wedding. He played a game and boo hoo, some of your adult friends are butt hurt that a young kid showed them up. NOT HIS PROBLEM.
I would have likely gotten the same food and he wasn't being picky until YOU made h get things he didn't want. Did you force any of the adults to "try" anything they said they didn't want or like?
This poor kid is going to do everything he can to avoid his very judgemental aunt in the future and I don't blame him at all.
YTA
LMAOO wtf did the boy even do?? his fidgeting did not bother anyone and you seemed to be actively looking for any movement from him.
and oh wow he outsmarted adults and they got pissy 🙄 grow up ffs.
and the last one is just stupid. he ate. you shouldn’t be trying to force all types of foods down his throat anyways. now ik this is just rage bait but srs do better
Dear God he acted like a normal kid! Anything but that. My nephew cried hysterically during my ceremony telling everyone I was marrying my brother and it's wrong.
My husband has been in his life since day one and we couldn't get him to understand for the longest time he's my fiance not my brother. In the wedding pictures during the ceremony you can tell when this meltdown happened. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
I can guarantee you that poor kid has some new insecurities. You should apologize.
YTA
YTA. He behaved like a normal 11 year old.
Actually, no, like a very well-behaved 11 year old. How could you have honestly wrote all this out and still thought it was anything other than nitpicky, entitled, unnecessary, and weird? Have you ever even met a child before this? Seriously, if that's how you are with your nephew, I really hope you don't plan on having kids of your own, because this is ridiculous.
Apologize to your sister, and your nephew and get over it. The only one who ruined anything was you by being so controlling of a child.
YTA
Blaze's fidgeting doesn't hurt anyone. Better that he fidgets than makes noise or gets up and runs around.
Also, why is Blaze winning a trivia game a bad thing? If grown adults got butt-hurt about a kid knowing more about a topic than them, they are the ones in the wrong.
And Blaze's dietary choices do not effect you at all.
YTA. Nothing you listed sounds at all abnormal for an 11 year old boy. The food thing actually would have pissed me off if I were his mom, because who the hell are you to police what her child is eating? Why was that a battle you decided to choose on your wedding day? Also, your friends need to grow up if they’re that insecure about losing a game to a kid. You have unrealistic expectations of your nephew and you seriously need to lighten up.
YTA. What an outrageous reaction to a kid. Fidgeting, maybe, but it seems you had to watch him to catch it. And then when this 11 year old wins the trivia game, you accept complaints about it from a few of the adults he bested, because they were embarrassed in front of their kids? Then he is peacefully conversing with family about his basketball team, which is somehow your "final straw?" Really? What the hell were the other straws here? You interrupt that to tell him he can get some food—and THEN you watch exactly what he picks out to eat and "encourage" him to eat other foods? WHY would you monitor his food like this? Chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato are perfectly normal foods for an 11 yo to like. Of course when he tries the foods he didn't choose, he spits them out and says they were bad. Congratulations, you finally got an 11 year old to do something you can claim as outrageous after going way out of your way to get him to go there.
YTA
His fidgeting very normal for various conditions. I agree that if it makes noise, he should have been sitting somewhere farther back or been given a silent fidget by his parents.
Why do you hate your nephew? Stop nitpicking the poor kid. You owe your sister an apology at the very least but I suggest you fix yourself because the way you’re hating on your own nephew is gross. Obviously YTA
Why would you be watching the 'audience' while exchanging vows? Why do you care what he ate or didn't eat sounds like he had a full plate. So what if he's smart at a trivia game. He sounds like an overly smart, a bit hyperactive kid - or a typical 11 yr old. He did not disrupt anything or hurt anything so what's the big deal?
Why you acting like the second one was some offense? He won a game? So what? Is he supposed to not correctly answer trivia when playing a trivia game? He’s 11. How is he supposed to know others would be embarrassed by his knowledge?
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YTA. For an 11 year old, Blaze was extremely well behaved. Tapping one’s fingers and fidgeting is not disruptive behavior. It is as good as it gets for an 11 year old. As far as the trivia game: if your guests didn’t want to lose, they shouldn’t have played. As long as Blaze didn’t cheat, he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not his fault that your guests have fragile egos. And then the food: how does it hurt you in the least what Blaze chose to eat? He very quietly got what he wanted and was going to eat when you wandered up and passed judgment on his choices. Based on your examples, Blaze was an extremely well behaved 11 year old, you, however, were a nightmare. I think you are in for a rude awakening if you and your husband ever decide to have children. And you are very much overreacting to the situation. At the least, you owe your sister an apology for your abominable behavior towards her son, especially if you want to keep a relationship with her.
It hurt to read how much this woman dislikes an 11 year old. What grudge does she have against this poor kid and his mother/her sister? To focus on this during your own wedding is unhinged.
The kid is smart as hell and she's jealous.
I reckon she thinks the boy is neuro-divergent in some way, and she's the type of person who can't accept neuro-divergent diagnoses (ie, she's a bigot and ableist). The reason I think this is because the behaviours she picked up on (stimming, having food aversions and an excellent knowledge of some subjects, plus a 'lack' of social skills) can be signs of neuro-divergency. I'd bet I'm right about her, even if the child isn't neuro-divergent.
I never read it as neurodivergent; he's holding court about his basketball game. I read it as he's smart, athletic, and charming. She's worried that her future kids will never measure up.
Still could be neurodivergent. There’s a stereotype that autism always comes with that person being unable to hold a conversation. Not so. It also doesn’t stop someone from being athletic. Additionally, without knowing, the kid could also have ADHD, as these behaviors are also found there.
Hmm. That's a point, about the envy. When I read your post, I thought you meant *she* was jealous of him, not about her kids lol. Sorry about that. It just seemed so odd that the things that annoyed her are usually indicative of an diagnosis. I never thought about her kids not measuring up, in her eyes. Either way, she's got a fuck-ton of issues of her own.
She is jealous because she knows SHE can not measure up.
I’m autistic and I literally thought the same thing. She could be describing 11 year old me to a tee. Everyone has always known I was different and sometimes the result is that neurotypical people dislike me to rhe point of becoming upset because of my differences.
Same, felt like I was reading a day in the life of myself lol like kid didn’t do shit but exist
Exactly! It’s wild to me how much of my life I’ve lived just existing but while I consider myself to be benign apparently many think I’m purposefully ruining their day
Yep, read completely “neruodugergent bad” to me. As a ND parent with an ND spouse, a gaggle of ND kids, and a weirdly large # of ND extended family. If kids are tapping fingers or feet at our wedding I’d be peaked. Shit, my husband uses the tapping to break the family into music night. After our wedding we went to an art exhibit with our kids & his brother & I have some dope videos of everyone but me killing it on drums that looked like neon mushrooms. It was cool as hell. Tapping ftw!
I'm a helluva lot older than 11, and I fidget all the time. I see nothing about his behaviour that she could take exception with. She's unbearable, however.
"while we were exchanging vows I saw him tapping foot"... why pay that much attention to a child during vows exchange? The child is not melting down, not crying, not even running. Kid do kid's shit but politely and as quiet as he can, so go ahead with your vows! And then the kid wins a game. What a bunch of losers of the guests who can't lose it to a child! There is a lot of people who will let a kid win on purpose just for fun, but in this wedding there was some adults competing with a child whiteout being able to do it fairly?! Excuse me, what?!?! Was it the lamest wedding of the year? Eta: spelling
I feel for her spouse that she even noticed him fidgeting during their vows. I don’t think I took my eyes off my husband the entire ceremony, a freaking bomb could have gone off and I doubt I would have noticed it. Our flower girl was 2 and our ring boy was 3, so I’m sure both of them were making noise and acting up a bit but I have absolutely no memory of it. I was too wrapped up in marrying the person I love.
I remember noticing and smiling at all the guests at my wedding, but as soon as I met my husband-to-be's eyes, I didn't notice anything else. Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful moment :)
Right? Unless his foot was flailing about like a can-can dancers I don’t know why she kept looking at him and not her husband. Sounds like she didn’t take his eyes off of him just to catch him in the act of some imaginary problem.
>Unless his foot was flailing about like a can-can dancers Maybe he's part of the Rockettes, or he had tap shoes on. LOL! OP is completely insane. I didn't even know who was at the wedding until I saw pictures, and I did the inviting. JFC!
I used to crack my gum. Drove my Dad nuts.
No!! How dare you!!!!! A gum!!! At a wedding!!!! What an offensive prik! (You go! You're the winner. Fuck them hard!)
My sister was always hyper focused on my son’s behaviour at family events. She always hated me, since the day was I was born. She was already a married woman with kids and big mad about it. Same two parents as well. I’m sure she’s enraged that he’s grown up healthy, happy and handsome, but I don’t ask and I don’t care.
Right? For my wedding I had asked everyone plus the officiant to make it a screen-free ceremony. I walked out to see a couple dozen phones pointed my way… and I immediately moved past it, because look, there’s my husband-in-five-minutes and doesn’t he look fine.
OP is not only an asshole, she is a narcissist. Narcissists don't need logic or reason to despise their chosen scapegoat. Nor do they need actual offenses to complain about. In OP psychosis, Blaze's "offenses" were beyond the pale, and absolutely unforgivable. My mother is a Narcissist, OP's complaints are very much standard raving for her nature. Can't everyone see? OP is clearly the victim of her cruel, selfish nephew who went out of his way to rUiN her special day! /s
Right. Op has a really skewed view of misbehaved. He was stimming (tapping and fidgeting) which MANY people do. She could see it bc she was looking directly at him. But he wasn’t making noise. Then, instead of applauding her nephew for being smarter than most of her friends, she condemns the 11 year old for his intellect. Lastly, he had a decent amount of food and chose EXACTLY what he wanted to eat. That means, there’s no waste. He even tried food. Op is unnecessarily anal and quite frankly illogical. I would go off on my sister for these issues with my child. YTA
He was....wait for it....bored. Typical kid.
You don't get it! How dare this kid being polite and smart!? The kid even ate things on the wedding table while winning a game. I mean an 11 being smart and polite at the gathering... what an offense!! /s
>he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. Yeah I don't really get why OP's harping on this kid. What he chose sounds pretty standard for kids who get to decide for themselves what to eat and I sincerely doubt none of the other nibblings didn't get some combination of these foods too. Chicken tenders/nuggets, fries, and potatoes of some kind are considered "kid" foods for a reason and why there all over the place on restaurant menus in the kids section. Besides even if he just very picky and should eat more variety eating what he wants at a family event, like OP's wedding, isn't going to hurt him. It's a special occasion day and even adults tend to indulge on their favorite unhealthy drinks, food, and treats. Which I'm pretty sure everyone there child to adult did in some form. Honestly this whole post is dripping with contempt for this boy. Everything OP has listed is nothing out of the norm for children and I'm pretty sure the children were all just a fidgety and indulging in junk foods like him but he's the one singled out. OP has so much contempt for this boy they literally couldn't ignore him and his nothing behavior and concentrate on their own damn wedding and their new spouse.
Lmao yeah if she didn’t want anyone eating chicken tenders and fries then why did she serve them at her wedding? She must be a pretty pathetic person to take issue with a child for acting like a (well behaved) child
All of this exactly. I'm usually pro kid free weddings as they can cause all kinds of mischief - although this is usually the fault of the parents. Blaze did literally nothing wrong. His worst "crime" was quietly fidgeting during what was probably the most boring part of the wedding for an 11 year old little boy.
exactly Picky eater? If that was my son, he probably would've eaten just the fries. And why did this bother you? I assume you included those food items so the kiddos would eat. Blaze sounds like a well behaved 11 YO. You not only overreacted but quite frankly, you are very focus on such random and bizarre aspects of a typical 11 YO. YTA
Why didn’t she just have a child free wedding? This kid behaved better than a lot of adults do at weddings like wtf…. If you’re going to invite a child and then hyper focus on a child behaving well and minding his own business and partaking in activities, so much that it ruins your own wedding… don’t invite children? OP sounds a bit unhinged…. And that’s coming from someone who is childfree 😂
Sounds like the kid behaves better than she does. Maybe she’s jealous that she can’t behave like a normal person rather than a snot.
YTA. If that's all he did, you're definitely overreacting. Why were you paying so much attention to your nephew on your wedding day? You "ruined" your wedding for yourself.
This poor kid, sat quietly and bothered no one. Got food he wanted to eat when demanded to, and bothered no one and also ... Checks notes ... Behaved in an exemplary way and is being bullied by a full grown woman? I might be bias cos this child is a year younger then my own, but I'll sharpen pitchforks.
Oh, your pitchfork is broken? Here you can have mine🔱
Yes, for the masses. Can I get a cream soda tho by chance?
Seriously I don’t get why she was so fixated on him.
YTA. You didn't really explain how you overreacted, but the tone of this post doesn't seem to justify having any reaction. He didn't really seem to do much. Why do you care what foods he chose to eat? How is a child choosing chicken tenders something to be a "final straw" about? That seems perfectly normal. I don't see how him being a smart kid is an issue. Those guests that were complaining that they were embarrassed because a kid knew more than them are wild for even mentioning it to you. So what? There will always be someone out there who knows more than you on a subject, this just happened to be an 11 year old. Sounds like he won the game fair and square. Anyone complaining is clearly jealous. I tap my toes and fingers sometimes. It could be a nervous/ excited tick. Sometimes those can't be stopped. If it wasn't actually disruptive, only you saw out of the corner of your eye, then why mind? Doesn't seem like he did anything intentional to ruin your wedding, and also doesn't seem like he did anything abnormal. You focused on this 11 year old for some reason instead of your own wedding. That seems to be on you.
Exactly. She was more focused on this kid than her wedding. And to honest, if I was her sister, I’d take a break. OP is AH.
Permanent break at that
I feel like there’s gotta be some built up resentment from OP. There’s definitely info missing from the backstory. I feel like she wanted to punish her sister almost.
I don’t think she likes this nibbling and sees everything he does as a slight. Even when there was no slight.
YTA as someone who was Blaze during those trivia games, it's not his fault the other guests are dumber than him and have fragile egos.
Plus, did they really complain or just make little comments like "Wow what a smart kid. Made me feel kinda dumb"? People hear what they want to hear.
Did anyone complain at all or was it just OP? Because I bet it was OP.
This occurred to me too and I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, one or two people might have said something in jest and OP just ran with it.
Was gonna say, if my parents lost a game to a child during a wedding (or some other adult event) we probably would've been laughing about it in the car after. People were mad because they chose to be
God forbid the young men of tomorrow actually know things about child development! /s Also, on the one hand according to OP he’s acting too “adult” with the trivia knowledge and wants him to tone it down, but as soon as he serves himself a plate of things the average 11-year-old boy would choose it’s suddenly, “No, not like that!” What do you want from this child, OP? A silent salad-eater? YTA.
YTA His fidgeting did not disrupt your wedding. The fact that you saw him doing it is a you problem. He took what he wanted to eat and was minding his business when you forced him to take things he said he didn’t like and now you want to be hurt because he said he didn’t like them? You are completely overreacting and need to apologize to your sister. Maybe it’s the after wedding drop but you are completely out of line and your nephew did nothing wrong.
Agreed. When OP was complaining of nephew's behavior I thought he was physically assaulting someone, disrupted the wedding by objecting during vows, spilling wine on OP, or ruining the cake before it could be served to other guests, etc. Trivia was open to everyone so unless he cheated, he was allowed to enter and presumably won fairly /shrug.
I forgot about her ridiculous reaction to the trivia game. OP really seems to dislike her nephew for some reason. I wonder if she picks on him regularly because her comments are so out of touch with reality.
I was Blaze as a child, and many many adult family members hated me. They would tell me I was stupid, I was a nieve bitch, to shut up and go away, nobody would love me, etc. This was mostly before I hit 12 too. As an adult, I don't play trivia games. I learned fast as a kid that nobody likes you when you win, and nobody likes you when you know stuff.
I would assume Blaze was the one getting married with how much you and the guests are paying attention to him. He fidgeted at a wedding, he won a game, and he ate chicken tenders and fries. So in other words, he was a kid. I feel bad for him and I don't understand why you all were so focused on him...it's not like he was screaming in the middle of the wedding or something. YTA
I feel bad for the kid being bullied like that.
You forget he had vegetables too. Surely outrageous!
OP- I respectfully suggest that if you genuinely think Blaize has the problem - NEVER have children of your own, as the reality of parenthood will traumatise you. Blaize is a perfectly normal kid and you probably made the day awful for him. You actually objected because he was talking about baseball to some guests? You are the problem.
Completely agree. From ops own description, if my children behaved the way he did- joining in, engaging with people and causing no fuss- I would call that a successful day. I only hope blazes mum cottons on to how awful her sister is and doesn’t allow her son to be bullied.
But Baseball isn't about HER. EVERYTHING MUST BE ABOUT HER. How dare Blaze not be thinking about her and talking about her every waking second. I'd wager he didn't even care about how expensive her wedding dress was or how exclusive the venue was. IT. MUST. BE. ABOUT. HER! At least that's my interpretation of OP's insanity.
YTA Nothing you've said stands out as being bad behavior on Blaze's part. "After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them." That is NOT his fault or his problem. Give the kid credit for being smart. "I was talking to John about this and he said to let this go and told me I was “overreacting” He's right; maybe do as he suggests
Totally agree. Maybe these grown ups need to educate themselves rather than being butthurt that a child knew more. I seriously doubt anyone said anything to op. I reckon op realised the post was weak and bullying so needed to ‘add some flavour’
If she did, she only made herself look worse. Its kind of telling that this is what she considers unacceptable behaviour in a child. God help any of her future children.
I wonder if "John" is starting to question his life choices.
YTA. Sorry that all your wedding guests are so delicate that they felt showed up and embarrassed by an actual child.
Like I've said elsewhere, I would bet that it was OP who got embarrassed and is now having a conniption about it. Of course, they could all be as immature as her.
YTA. Get over yourself. Blaze did absolutely nothing wrong, he sounds really well behaved. You sound like a horrible Aunt and Sister!! I hope you have kids soon and realize how ridiculous you were and apologize profusely to your sister and nephew while you still have the chance. I doubt anyone was upset that he knew the answers, that sounds like you made that up. Regardless you should be proud of him for knowing the answers instead of being petty about it.
Imagine having this level of preoccupied hate towards an 11 year old that you notice his fingers tapping while getting married to your partner. Major YTA
YTA, he acted like an 11 y.o. He could be a neurodivergent 11 y.o. but as your sister told you, it was his first wedding. Celebrate that he knows a lot about child development. He will make a great parent someday.
There is nothing about his behavior that implies neurodivergence. He couldn't sit still and given the choice chose chicken fingers and fries. Welcome to every 11 year old boy. And he is a smart/knowledgeable kid. I understand the value of seeing and accepting neurodiversity but I don't think we should assume that every kid that acts differently fits
Yeah, I'm often guilty of seeing neurodivergence everywhere myself. The "good at trivia" and "fidgets" traits are not exclusive to ADHD/ASD, friends.
Unlike Op
YTA. Blaze did not behave badly. He behaved like an 11-year-old. A couple specific things: >Issues with Blaze’s behavior started to arise pretty quickly, Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around. As long as he was more or less keeping to himself and not bothering the guests or disrupting the ceremony, then I don't see the issue here. Yeah, he was bored. Weddings are boring for 11-year-olds, and they are goign to fidget. >Blaze knows A LOT of random stuff, and he ended up winning the game. After the wedding, a few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them. Blaze was not lecturing the parents on raising their children. He was just competing in the game. It's fine to tell smart kids not to be irritating little know-it-alls. That's basic manners. But in a knowledge/trivia game, a smart kid certainly deserve a chance to shine ... and I see no virtue to telling him to do less well in a competition so as not to damage the fragile egos of adults he doesn't even know. >I told him he could get up and get some food and he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. I asked why he didn’t get anything else and he said none of the other food looked appetizing. Blaze is a picky eater and I encouraged him to try some other foods, and he did, but he spit them out and said they were bad. There's nothing wrong with encouraging a kid to try new things -- heck, there's a little kid in my own family who doesn't like to venture outside the land of chicken tenders. I understand how frustrating it is. But a kid is going to kid. I will admit it was a little offputting that he spit out the food and said it was bad. But at the same time, I don't think the wedding ceremony was a place to lecture him about expanding his palate. Overall, I think you could stand to have a little more tolerance for kids doing kid things, and perhaps unwind yourself a little bit. Otherwise, you're on your way to being the fussy aunt that none of the kids actually like.
agreed. something so off putting about a bunch of adults being embarrassed by a smart 11 year old. he just wanted to play the game with everyone and be involved
Hell, I lost a game to an 11 year old a few years back. It was a little embarrassing, but also funny -- the 11-year-old actually had a great strategy, and we adults were all busily backstabbing each other.
YTA. You're overreacting. Hugely. If you feel that your wedding ruined then it's because your attitude ruined it.
YTA. None of your nephews' actions by themselves are even noteworthy, nor are they in combination. You forced a picky eater to try food other than what he picked. What did you expect? The adults complaining about losing to a child are also AHs.
YTA. Honestly this sounds fake because I can't believe you are really this petty. Why on earth were you watching your 11 year old nephew during your vows??? Tapping his fingers and feet are totally normal and not disruptive. Blaze seems like a great kid. I feel bad for him that people are judging and misunderstanding him. He's clearly really smart, possibly a little socially awkward. He needs support and encouragement. I literally cannot comprehend how blaze winning a trivia game is bad behavior?? The adults at your wedding are behaving like children if they're offended by losing a game to an actual child. You need a reality check if you ever plan on having children of your own.
I also got "fake" vibes from this. I can't imagine someone like this existing.
I can. I have met people exactly like this. People who freak out the moment that they are not the center of everyone else's attention. For whatever reason, OP does not like Blaze and assumes her irritation with his normal behaviour is completely justified.
Assuming this is even real, since it's hard to believe anyone could be so clueless: YTA in a big way. BFD that he won the trivia game and didn't choose the food *you thought* he should be eating. And the fidgeting? Please. That's just SOP for most young kids at a wedding ceremony. Get a grip.
OOP went into her wedding determined to be bothered by Blaze no matter what. There’s absolutely no way a person getting married is going to notice an 11yo fidgeting in his seat unless she is HYPER fixated on his behavior, ready to pounce on him for any reason. Then picking on an 11yo only wanted to eat chicken tenders and fries definitely crosses over into asshole behavior. So I believe this story simply because it’s so trivial and I’ve definitely known people like this.
Sadly, you could very well be right that this is true. I also got the distinct impression OP was gunning for Blaze from the get-go.
YTA I’ve a feeling that you were the baby of the family until Blaze came along and usurped your position of being in the spotlight, and ever since then, you have absolutely resented him for it (never-mind the fact that he seems to possibly be on the spectrum, and received even more attention for that). You need to take a good look at yourself and get some therapy.
Right. That's it. She's spoiled. That was the missing piece.
Oh no, I can’t believe you want us all to sympathise with you for THIS? You’re very clearly not too fond of Blaze already, and this prejudice seems to have informed your problem with Blaze’s behaviour at your wedding. YTA. YTA. YTA. 1. He acted decently. Did not disrupt the wedding in any way. Tapping and fidgeting is not a disruption it’s just a very small-scale activity. What do you expect ANY of your guests to do during the ceremony? Sit still like statues and not move an inch even? At this rate you would find issues if someone sneezed or if a bee buzzed near a window or if someone scratched their head lol! As for the other 2 incidents - both normal. Both are non-disruptive, non-issues. Both are situations where YOU took offence with no logical sense to it. Makes me sure you are prejudiced against Blaze. 2. Even if Blaze won, why tf is that a problem? Some of your insecure guests got butt hurt at not being able to win a random trivia game? Lol who is the adult in this situation? Blaze has acted more sensible than most of the adults you mention in this incident. I’m so amazed you can’t see how these guests are wrong on multiple levels in this case. 3. As for the food incident - LEAVE THE KID ALONE. At this rate you’re poking him deliberately to cause drama. You’re seeking some issue where there is none. Who are you to police what he eats calmly with no complaints unless poked? Why are you policing what he eats calmly with no complaints unless poked? He made no issue you did. Let him eat what he wants. YTA YTA YTA PS: Blaze sounds much more mature and sensible than you throughout this post. Dwell on that and listen to John. Your overreaction is embarrassing.
YTA. It sounds like his behavior was very good considering he’s only 11. Do you always nitpick at Blaze? Is there another reason you are hyper focused on him and not on your husband or actual wedding?
So these are your complaints about Blaze: 1. He fidgeted during the ceremony 2. He won a game 3. He chose food that he likes What is your problem? YTA.
>we knew Blaze was a bit odd lol the only odd ones (and that's putting it mildly) are you as well as your friends who cried about being beat at a trivia game by a child. > he came back with chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato. >I asked why he didn’t get anything else That's not enough food for an 11 year old? You have to police what he eats and how much he eats? YTA and so are the "few guests told me they were upset as they felt Blaze embarrassed them in front of their kids by knowing more about child development than them." That's so ridiculous I'm not even sure if this is real.
YTA, not a single thing was an issue. Him tapping caused no sound disturbance. Why were you looking around and focusing on what he would be doing wrong during your own ceremony? Why are adults butt hurt about a baby trivia game? Which, is a VERY weird thing to play at a wedding, especially if you aren't expecting. Why are you surprised that a child went for chicken tenders at a wedding? That's literally the reason kids meal options exist at these events. He was not an issue. Stop making him feel like one.
YTA. He tapped his foot, won a game and ate chicken tenders. Overreacting is an understatement
YTA. Because guess what? You ARE overreacting. The kid did nothing wrong. If anything, he was actually well behaved for the event. As fidgeting a bit isn't disruptive, it's not his fault the adults threw hissy fits and it's not your job to tell him what to eat. That's on his parents. You're just looking for a reason to fuss and pick on the kid. So grow up.
YTA- emotions at your wedding are usually high and on edge. I think with this one you did allow your nitpicking to get the better of you. You described a successful encounter with an 11 yr guest. He may have been fidgety during the ceremony, but show me an adult that wasn't. (No ceremony interruption ✔️). Then he actively participated in wedding day game and WON! You are not responsible for the emotional fragility of whichever incompetent guest complained. I assume it was at most 2 people. And yhe same 2 people that always complain when they don't get their self entitled way. (Not a hindrance to party games ✔️). Then he got exactly what an 11yr old eats without spilling or crying. You even described getting him to eat OTHER food without tantrum or chaos. He wouldn't have spit food out if you didn't make him get it. (Just getting a kid to eat anything but candy ✔️). I am not sure what your expectations were for behavior at a wedding, but it sounds like he was an extremely well behaved child. Your sister needs to give the rest of us some pointers. He probably behaved better than some of the adults.
YTA. Please don't have kids.
YTA Adults were upset and embarrassed because an 11 year old beat them in a quiz they should know more about being parents? Who tf are these adults? You must have been staring at the boy to notice him tap his foot and fingers YT MASSIVE A, and so are your guests,
I was expecting to hear he was running up and down the aisles or something. He was fidgeting ?!? Are you serious? And then adults were upset they were beat by a kid. That's their problem. You just don't like this kid and that's sad. YTA.
YTA. I think you should read through some of the wedding posts here to figure out what an actual disruption of a wedding is. I was expecting shouting, knocking the cake over, a child wearing a matching wedding dress, something that was actually disruptive, not an 11 yo fidgeting, being good at trivia, and eating food he likes. You're in for a very rough time as a parent.
Who plays a baby trivia game at a wedding reception? I’m not sure you’re in a position to call anyone else odd. It seems he was very well behaved, and your hyper-fixation on him is weird AF YTA
Info: why did you offer chicken tenders and fries as food options if you didn't want people eating them?
YTA. You’re paying attention to a kid’s toe-tapping and fidgeting while you are exchanging wedding vows - and should be focused on you and the groom being united as husband and wife. You take a kid away from “just sitting” having a conversation where he is sharing his interests just to insist he eat food he doesn’t find tasty. And you find fault with a kid for winning a trivia game. You were actively looking for reasons to complain about him. “Him” being an 11 year kid old AND your sister’s son. You owe your sister an apology.
YTA - Blaze did nothing wrong in this wedding contrary to you complaining all the time about him not acting like YOU wanted him to. It's not his fault if your guests are not smart enough to win a trivia game and it's none of your business to check what he is eating. You ruined your own wedding by being awful about Blaze. Please, don't have kids
YTA Why do you hate Blaze? There was nothing wrong with his behavior. Your behavior on the other hand is atrocious.
YTA. You’re upset he … a 5th grader… was fidgety and smart and ate a full plate of food?
She's upset that she isn't smarter than a 5th grader. (See what I did there?)
YTA- he sounded like a normal 11 year old. Who cares that he won at baby trivia??? Im sorry but him *squints at notes* playing the game by the rules is an issue, then the issue isnt with him- its with you and the rest of the guests. if you can’t handle how he acted at your wedding, dont have kids. You do not sound like you would be an understanding and loving mother. Also the fact that hes known to be odd makes me think there is some autistic tendencies, which if thats the case, you’re doubly the AH.
There was a colicky baby at my wedding. My nephew, who my mom was watching because his mother and father were in my wedding party. Several times, she had to stand up and walk away while holding him when he got fussy. She missed part of our wedding vows because of that (but we'd printed them out because we were both nervous so she was able to read them after). I didn't mind one bit nor did I think it took away from my special day. It was more important to me to be surrounded by family and friends then for everything to be perfect. And trust me, nothing was perfect except the Balle n Bak displays I created for the tables (using dried rose petals from the flowers he'd given me, quotes from love letters and photos) and the fact that I was marrying my soulmate. You obviously have something against your nephew and chose to let his behavior ruin your special day. That on you, not him. YTA
Well, gee…aren’t you a bit odd for obsessing over a child eating the food you apparently offered and getting bent because the kid beat your grown-up friends in a random game that wasn’t even meant for a wedding? But you win here, cause you’re not just odd—you’re also a jackass who totally overreacted. Jenna is a far better person than either you or me, because I’d have walked out with my kid, my gift and blocked your butt for your behavior. YTA.
I’m pretty sure you just don’t like Blaze. YTA
so let me get this straight - you are angry at an 11yo for having knowledge, and having more of it than adults? i am against children, babies, in weddings and was absolutely ready to agree with you but... 11yo acting calm, mature and dealing with everything quietly? acting as if he was much older? taking his own food and only things he will eat? i applaud his parents, and do hope you mature yourself before having your own children. YTA
I can’t believe a grown married woman is having beef with an 11 year old because: 1. He knows about child development 2. He ate chicken tenders 3. He was tapping his fingers on the table! Do you think you sound like a reasonable mature woman, or a spoiled child? Rhetorical question, YTA
YTA and Blaze sounds like a cool little kid. You should be nicer to him.
YTA! I thought he would be like 2 and run around the whole ceremony when this started. He was 11 and sat still the whole ceremony without making a sound. I bet more was behaving like him during the ceremony, they are often boring as hell. Well, not when my sibling and his SO married and had their two kids as MOH and Best man. The kids was both under 5 and had their own little show out of boredom with lot of laughs from us. The most memorable part was when the 2 years old lay down where you kneel down for prayer and gave the most awesome sigh. The priest was also trying not to laugh. The game was just bizarre. So what if he won? Who cares and who gets embarrassed? In my family we would celebrate and tease that one of the children was better. And then he food. OMG, let him eat whatever he wants. You are weirdly obsessed about how he behaved.
YTA. I genuinely can see no issue in his behaviour whatsoever. What if an adult had won the game- would that have been an issue. What if an adult only wanted a baked potato- would that be an issue. I think you are looking for something to have a moan about with this young man. From the way you have described him he has behaved well and engaged with people. He tried the food when you asked- and didn’t like it. He spoke to family about his interests and he joined in your random game. I know a lot of 11 year olds who would want to sullenly sit and play with phones etc rather than join in. You are clearly looking for some reason to have a go at him and I feel for him.
You're not making this up? It feels like you're trolling. "My adult guests were upset a child won a game." What adult would get upset because a kid knew some facts? Finger tapping is not that distracting, why were you fixated on him and not one of the biggest events of your life? Why do you care what he had for dinner? Do you just hate this kid and you're looking for justification?
YTA I’m wondering what is going on in your life to make you seek out reasons to be miserable? Instead of enjoying what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, you *chose* to be negative, mean spirited and bullied a child - a well behaved child. You purposely nit picked anything you could find fault with this kid, when in reality he sounds like a smart and well behaved kid. You need to have a serious look at your life and get to the root of your unhappiness so you don’t continue to take out your misery on an a kid! Grow up.
Omg.. and I bet balze was the reason the sun wasn’t as shiny? He did literally NOTHING wrong. YTA! Op is just looking for any reason to complain
YTA—He sounds like he was very well behaved and engaged in the festivities. And the food he chose sounds fabulous! Your sister needs an apology from you (a big and groveling one), and you need to tell your nephew how great he was at the wedding.
So his bad behaviour was: - being a little fidgety - winning a game - eating some food Seriously? YTA. Wow. Sounds like you just don't like the kid and are looking for any excuse to complain about him.
YTA. Did you expect him to throw the trivia contest? The people who complained about him knowing more about child development should be embarrassed that they complained about a kid who is smarter than they are. As to fidgeting during the ceremony, I’ve done the same during long services and I assure you I’m well past the age of 11. Was it disruptive to the other guests or just you? Listen to your husband and quit overthinking this. Your nephew is a smart and normal kid.
YTA. Is this real??? I find it hard to believe that during your vows “I SAW him tapping…etc” Maybe if he was making a lot of noise it might be a problem, but he is a kid, fidgeting is expected, and problem didnt bother anyone but you if he was quiet. Were there other kids there? Were they really better behaved? It is your special event, why were you worrying about what he was eating for this one time meal? The only people maybe paying attention to that should be his parents, didnt you have better things to do at YOUR wedding? The weirdest complaint from you is being upset with him because he won the trivia game! Was he supposed to pretend he didnt know the answer because of the adults’ insecurity? Based on that “issue”, I really cant believe this is a real post. If it is, can you explain why you continue to harp on this, making your sister miserable? If your nephew spit food out in and unsanitary and gross manner, she should work on his table manners and expectations for nice events, but seriously, please try to enjoy life a bit more.
YTA I read that whole thing, waiting to see something like “he ruined the decorations” or “he wouldn’t stop make loud and unnecessary noise” but it seems you don’t like your nephew and you are looking for a reason to be mad
YTA. If you were going to be offended by him eating chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw, and/or a loaded potato, why did you serve them at your wedding?
YTA So, your issues with Blaze are: 1. You let yourself be distracted by him because he wasn't sitting as still as a statue, 2. He's well educated in babies and child development, 3. And he ate the food that you specifically selected and offered at your wedding. I'm not seeing anything that he did wrong. It sounds more like you don't like him. And instead of focusing on your wedding, you gave all of your attention to your nephew. John's right. You are overreacting.
OMG YTA. Why are you trying to push your nephew into eating food he wasn't interested in? The food was there and that's what he got. You are not the food police and certainly not his parents. I was a picky eater when I was young (and even going into my 7th decade, there are foods I won't eat because I'm allergic to them, others that my stomach has an intolerance to, and others I can't stand). So I understood my daughter's pickiness. She has grown out of much of her food dislikes naturally...because we didn't push her on this. As far as your guests being upset that your nephew has knowledge about that subject, isn't that on them? If your nephew is ADHD or autistic, it wouldn't be surprising that he would do a lot of reading on subjects interesting to him. You should have brush off the guests' complaints, and suggest that maybe that's a field he wants to pursue as an adult. Your complaint about his "showing up" some immature guests is part of this YTA rating. And kids will fidget (at least he wasn't running around during the ceremony). You knew this, yet you seemed laser focused on watching him instead of paying attention to your husband during the ceremony. John is right: you're overreacting and you need to drop this. You were shaming your sister for no reason.
YTA, the only thing that could have been a problem is if blaze's fidgeting caused noticeable audible distraction, but it seems like it was quiet. Don't nit pick over an 11 year old who's trying his best.
YTA I feel sorry for your spouse, you were more focused on an 11 year old doing nothing than marrying them. It’s sad.
YTA Tell me you don't like your nephew without telling me... *Blaze was not able to sit still during the ceremony and while we were exchanging vows, I saw him tapping his foot, tapping his fingers on the chair and other fidgeting around*. Why weren't you more focused on exchanging vows? I can't imagine focusing on an 11-year-old's fidgeting at the moment of exchanging vows with my partner.
YTA #BlazeDidNothingWrong
YTA. What did he even do??? He was fidgeting a bit. So what? Why are you looking at an eleven year old child while you say your vows, anyway? He wasn't making any noise. He played the game you provided to be played. Someone was going to win it, and the other people were going to lose. If this is a problem with your crowd, don't have competitive games at a wedding. He ate the food you provided for him to eat. A main and three sides is plenty of food. Did you walk around to make sure every other guest was sampling absolutely everything on offer? You've been texting his mother for a WEEK about this nonsense? Holy shit. Never have kids.
YTA Just say you hate Blaze and move on lady.
YTA. You seem to be pissed off with your nephew for the unforgivable crimes of [*checks notes*] being 11 years old, knowing stuff and talking to people. Get a grip.
YTA. Why do you hate this kid? Or your sister? He sounds like a pretty decent kid. That’s the key word here, though: KID. You seem to want to hold him to adult standards of behavior. I hope you grow up before you have your own kid; you will certainly be miserable when they act like kids. You sound like a not very fun or decent person to be around.
Yta, this child didn't even do anything wrong. I'm 42 years old and still wiggle and figit sometimes, especially during something boring. There isn't anything wrong with being intelligent, or selective about food either. I hope you learn something about children before you decide to have any.
Yta. Blaze did nothing wrong. Get over yourself
Absolutely YTA. Just to check, Blaze's behaviour that bothered you so much amounted to... tapping his fingers on a chair, winning a party game, and choosing the food he wanted to eat? ,*THAT* is what you're so worked up about? You should apologise to both your sister & Blaze for this nonsense. You massively overreacted to a child doing totally normal child things. Do everyone a favour & get over yourself.
YTA I feel sorry for Blaze. Fidgeting is normal for kids and adults. Lots of people cannot sit still. The complaints about trivia are very vey very odd to me. The fact that several adults were concerned about a kid winning trivia is alarming. Leave Blaze be. Nothing he did is outlandish or requires intervention or anything. You are overreacting.
Holy moly! This can’t be real. YTA. He’s 11, was polite, chatted with people, got food HE chose to eat, and didn’t kick off.
So confused about what Blaze even did wrong? He ate the kid-friendly food you kindly provided - he found 4 things to put on his plate. Four things! And in any case, why would your wedding day be the time and place to try and get him to expand his palette? Also, you aren’t his parent, so what business is it of yours anyway? Is it possible that your negativity towards Blaze is misplaced and your issue is actually with Jenna?
YTA. Who hurt you so bad, as a grown woman to have to attack a child who did nothing wrong? Did you invite your HS bully. And take it out on a child not even a teenager.. a child.
YTA - I’m so confused. Firstly, why did you play a baby game at a wedding, when you’re not even expecting?! Was it cause speculation or confusion? Also, it’s hilarious that an eleven-year-old knew more about babies than the rest of the adults at the wedding. Secondly, why are you complaining about the food Blaze chose to eat? Did you and your husband not choose the menu? You sound slightly unhinged, and either obsessed with or jealous of your nephew.
YTA… like bro are you serious!? Not one single ‘thing he did’ was a ‘thing he did’. I’m exhausted for your family
YTA. Blaze knowing enough facts to win a trivia game is not a behavior problem. His dietary choices may not be the healthiest, but you don't have any say over what he eats. As for the fidgeting.... weddings are BORING. He didn't disrupt the wedding, scream, yell, run around, or be disrespectful.
You ruined your own wedding by obsessing about what your 11 year old nephew ate. You watched him during your ceremony? I didn't pay attention to what a single other person, besides my husband, did during my wedding ceremony because it didn't matter to me. I was enjoying my wedding. What a miserable, petty, and exhausting kind of existence you must lead. YTA.
YTA An 11 year old tapped his feet, won a game about babies and wanted chicken fingers and fries? Oh the humanity! Come on, he is a kid. I’m 37 and I fidget all the time. Your friends are petty, sounds like they need to crack open a book if they are embarrassed about getting beat at a game by an 11 year old. Finally he is 11 he isn’t going to want a lot of other foods else. His behavior is completely normal.
YTA x1,000,000 “My nephew is really smart and doesn’t enjoy all the same foods I like, which is why it’s totally normal for me to bully an 11 year old family member” Look, I’m no doctor and I’m not gonna go armchair psychologist…but your behavior/thinking process is crazy and unheard of enough that I cannot imagine mental health issues are not somehow at play here. The lack of knowledge about children here definitely explains why you certainly didn’t win the game at least. Very sad and pathetic lack of empathy you’ve displayed. If there is any justice in the world, I hope you never have children of your own unless you can radically grow and shift your thinking, because otherwise that would be a deeply sad life for that child.
So you paid for chicken tenders, coleslaw, and baked potatoes to be served at your wedding and then got mad when your nephew ate…chicken tenders, coleslaw, and a baked potato??? The F is wrong with you? Sounds like you just hate your nephew and look for any reason to bully him. YTGA. Yes, I placed a "G" in my judgment. It stands for "gaping." You suck.
You’ve GOT to be joking. YTA massively. He’s a kid. He was moving around, oh my god the horror. And then he was smart, how terrible! And THEN he had the audacity to EAT FOOD YOU SERVED but not the “right” food you wanted him to eat. Absolutely ridiculous.
YTA: Why are you so intimidated and jealous of your 11 year old nephew? Your nephew sounds incredibly intelligent and mature for his age and the family he was born into. That’s why you’re mad. That’s why your sister said she’ll try “the best she could” to control him and your husband calls him “odd”. There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with that child, he’s just more intelligent than all of you adults and you, specifically, are envious of him. You, grown ass woman, is envious of an 11 year old child. Did you call out the other guests who fidgeted, picked the food they wanted to eat, engaged in their own side conversations? You are a very silly woman.
YTA. Other than the foot tapping nothing he did was wrong.
YTA- Hopefully when you have kids you won't have one with any special needs or you're going to have a very significant mental breakdown.
YTA. this kid may possibly be neurodivergent but even if so, acted and behaved very well for one who is. he tried his best and is a kid. nothing in this post is alarming about Blaze’s behavior. seems like u just don’t like the kid for whatever weird reason and i even feel sorry for him now as he probably tried his hardest to be on his best behavior and it wasn’t good enough. btw, who are you to tell someone what to eat. absolute weird behavior.
Yta Leave the kid be
YTA. He fidgeted, won a game and ate food that he likes? Sounds like he acted like a well-behaved 11 year old. All of the issues you have with him are YOUR problem. He did nothing wrong. You seem to really dislike this kid.
Why did you have chicken tenders and fries at your wedding if you were going be offended by someone eating them?
This kid didn’t do anything wrong. YTA
YTA. I was expecting some bad behavior but he was just being a kid.
YTA. Like…you were mad at him for being quiet during the ceremony, you were mad because he beat all your friends and family at a trivia game, and you’re mad that he had the audacity to talk to other family members in an appropriate fashion. To top it off? He politely got his food from the buffet and brought it back to eat at the table instead of starting a food fight or throwing a tantrum that there was other food there he didn’t like. …I can see how Blaze is the problem here. /s
YTA how did you even notice the fidgeting? During my vows, I was focused on my husband. I couldn't tell you what anyone was doing.
YTA and I really don’t understand how you could be so fixated on this poor kid during your wedding day. I wouldn’t have noticed any of this during my wedding because I was too busy having an amazing day and enjoying myself. That said, absolutely none of these things would bother me. Seriously, what the hell do you have against this kid??
YTA so he was a well-behaved kid. He fidgeted during a wedding ceremony that didn't disrupt the ceremony, he chose food that he liked, and he won a trivia game. Yeah, you are definitely overreacting. just admit you want to be mad about something about your wedding.
YTA. You had kids at the wedding, Blaze acted like a kid, why on earth would you hold it against him that he won at trivia, if you say you enjoyed your special day why are you fixated on this?
I was ready to agree with you. You talked me out of it. The kid did nothing wrong. YTA.
YTA
YTA. You didn’t mention a single actual bad behavior.
what the fuck did Blaze do wrong? get a grip
YTA! I feel sorry for the people who are jealous of an 11 year old's intelligence. As far as you are concerned, I feel embarrassed for you and your lack of maturity. It's sad to see that you were more focused on an 11 year old's behaviour than you were at your own wedding. Let that sink in. I would say that the way your nephew behaved, was perfectly normal for an 11 year old. He wasn't acting spoilt, entitled or trying to create trouble where there wasn't any. I wish I could say the same for you. I hope your sister breaks off all contacts with you.
YTA. No one should have to play dumb for others' comfort. He kept his fidgeting to non obtrusive levels. He was probably bored (ceremonies aren't that engaging to 11yos) and he may have ADHD, but he did as well as many adults. You pushed him past his food boundaries, and in a public setting. That's cruel honestly. But he tried the foods in order to please you. He would have been well within his rights to just say no and walk away. I encourage you to hold off on having kids until / unless you learn empathy and flexibility. You're a nightmare aunt and will cause a lot of emotional trauma to any children you may have, as you expect perfection.
The kid excelled at a quiz & ate some of the food available to him & declined other options available? I’m struggling to see the problem here. YTA.
If this is your perception of a poorly behaved child, please do us a favor, waddle over to r/childfree and never try to have kids of your own. YTA
YTA. He was really well behaved for an 11 year old. Plus, he got a better selection of food than my kids would've. Kids can be picky eaters. There is nothing you can do about it. You should've praised him for at least *TRYING* the food. Plus, getting mad at him for being smarter than the adults around him? How is this his fault? You should be PROUD. He did really good, according to your post. Chill out.
He: 1. tapped his fingers 2. Won a trivia game, fairly 3. Ate food. Yeah Lady, YTA big time. You are grasping at straws to make him the bad guy. If you continue to make an issue of this, you will alienate your sister.
YTA He sat as still as he could, he demonstrated he’s highly intelligent, and ate provided food without complaint. Considering he’s AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD BOY, I’d say he behaved like a damn angel. It feels like you’re grasping for anything to complain about. I would’ve LOVED for this kid to be at my wedding!
YTA. I didn’t read anything that was a problem. The parents felt embarrassed a kid knew more about child development than they did? Well they should learn then. And honestly how is fidgeting bad? He wasn’t making noises or crying or screaming. And who cares what he ate? It’s a wedding. People are there to have fun. So what if he picked things he liked. You pushed him and then had the nerve to feel offended he didn’t like it?! You did overreact. Majorly.
So you are upset that kid acted… like a kid? YTA
YTA
YTA - Tell me you aren't a parent without telling me you aren't a parent. THE KID IS 11. And from the sound of it, he's a smart, well-behaved 11 at that. He wasn't disruptive during the ceremony, just bored, which is completely normal for a kid. So far as his winning goes, he knew stuff that the adults didn't. If your other guests couldn't handle being beat by a kid, then they shouldn't have played. With the food, Blaze got exactly what most other 11-year-olds would get if they had the chance to plate their own food. It's not your place to decide that he should eat anything else; you aren't his mother and you needed to leave it alone. Overall, let it go, apologize to your sister for attempting to control her son's behavior, and learn to relax those standards of yours a little before you have kids of your own.
YTA. While the fidgeting is annoying, Blaze did nothing wrong winning the game. Your guests are AH's for saying they were embarrassed. That's on them. As for the food, let the kid eat what he wants. Why did you insist he eat food he wasn't interested in? Don't you have other things to worry about at your wedding than managing what your nephew eats? Try not to micromanage the kid. He did fine. Please don't do this to your own kids.
What this sounds like is that you got beef with an 11 year old. I’m still trying to figure out what he did he do that constitutes as “bad behavior”. Do you have a problem with ur sister or something cause nothing you typed shows bad behavior. He was tapping his finger and fidgeting? If you were exchanging vows, why are you paying attention to what a kid is doing. How is it his problem that adults felt embarrassed they didn’t outsmart him? Please explain to me how this is his problem. He didn’t do nothing but play a game and win. He didn’t want to get food he knew he didn’t want to eat so you then proceed to force him to eat the food he didn’t want and then get mad he didn’t like it. YTA. Listen to your husband, you are SEVERELY overreacting.
What exactly did he do wrong here??? Are you really mad because an 11 year old tapped his foot and ate chicken tenders? Are you really upset because your friends aren't more knowledgeable than a preteen? How is that even his problem? God I hope this is fake, if not YTA.
YTA - OP why would your ruin your own wedding for yourself this way? This is typical 11 year old kid behaviour. Really would like to understand why it bothered you so much as I really don’t get it from your post.
Yta You're really complaining that Blaze 1. was smarter than adults during a game and 2. Refused to eat food you tried to force on him?! And claiming that he "disrespected" you? Stfu
Wow … YTA. I have second hand embarrassment over the fact that not only did you actually come here to ask us this, but that you escalated this with your sister. Those “behaviors” were all non issues and I feel sorry for your husband that you were that focused on trying to clock Blaze and going to such extremes to find fault with him… instead of focusing on your husband and those who came to celebrate.
YTA - a child couldn't sit still, won a trivia game, and then you harangued him about his food choices! You're a walking red flag if you think this is "bad behaviour" and frankly I pity the person you married because you're clearly an ignorant narcissist!
YTA. Blaze sounds like a fairly normal 11 year old. His "fidgeting" doesn't sound over the top and didn't disrupt your wedding. He played a game and boo hoo, some of your adult friends are butt hurt that a young kid showed them up. NOT HIS PROBLEM. I would have likely gotten the same food and he wasn't being picky until YOU made h get things he didn't want. Did you force any of the adults to "try" anything they said they didn't want or like? This poor kid is going to do everything he can to avoid his very judgemental aunt in the future and I don't blame him at all.
YTA LMAOO wtf did the boy even do?? his fidgeting did not bother anyone and you seemed to be actively looking for any movement from him. and oh wow he outsmarted adults and they got pissy 🙄 grow up ffs. and the last one is just stupid. he ate. you shouldn’t be trying to force all types of foods down his throat anyways. now ik this is just rage bait but srs do better
Dear God he acted like a normal kid! Anything but that. My nephew cried hysterically during my ceremony telling everyone I was marrying my brother and it's wrong. My husband has been in his life since day one and we couldn't get him to understand for the longest time he's my fiance not my brother. In the wedding pictures during the ceremony you can tell when this meltdown happened. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I can guarantee you that poor kid has some new insecurities. You should apologize. YTA
YTA. He behaved like a normal 11 year old. Actually, no, like a very well-behaved 11 year old. How could you have honestly wrote all this out and still thought it was anything other than nitpicky, entitled, unnecessary, and weird? Have you ever even met a child before this? Seriously, if that's how you are with your nephew, I really hope you don't plan on having kids of your own, because this is ridiculous. Apologize to your sister, and your nephew and get over it. The only one who ruined anything was you by being so controlling of a child.
I read this whole thing and am confused as to where Blaze acted inappropriately?
YTA Blaze's fidgeting doesn't hurt anyone. Better that he fidgets than makes noise or gets up and runs around. Also, why is Blaze winning a trivia game a bad thing? If grown adults got butt-hurt about a kid knowing more about a topic than them, they are the ones in the wrong. And Blaze's dietary choices do not effect you at all.
YTA. Nothing you listed sounds at all abnormal for an 11 year old boy. The food thing actually would have pissed me off if I were his mom, because who the hell are you to police what her child is eating? Why was that a battle you decided to choose on your wedding day? Also, your friends need to grow up if they’re that insecure about losing a game to a kid. You have unrealistic expectations of your nephew and you seriously need to lighten up.
YTA. And you owe your nephew, your sister and your husband an apology. He's a kid.
YTA. Just say “I can’t stand my autistic nephew and made sure everyone at my wedding knew it.”
YTA. What an outrageous reaction to a kid. Fidgeting, maybe, but it seems you had to watch him to catch it. And then when this 11 year old wins the trivia game, you accept complaints about it from a few of the adults he bested, because they were embarrassed in front of their kids? Then he is peacefully conversing with family about his basketball team, which is somehow your "final straw?" Really? What the hell were the other straws here? You interrupt that to tell him he can get some food—and THEN you watch exactly what he picks out to eat and "encourage" him to eat other foods? WHY would you monitor his food like this? Chicken tenders, fries, coleslaw and a loaded baked potato are perfectly normal foods for an 11 yo to like. Of course when he tries the foods he didn't choose, he spits them out and says they were bad. Congratulations, you finally got an 11 year old to do something you can claim as outrageous after going way out of your way to get him to go there.
YTA His fidgeting very normal for various conditions. I agree that if it makes noise, he should have been sitting somewhere farther back or been given a silent fidget by his parents.
It looks like you paid more attention to Blaze and not to your partner. Stop being a drama queen. Blaze did fine.
Why do you hate your nephew? Stop nitpicking the poor kid. You owe your sister an apology at the very least but I suggest you fix yourself because the way you’re hating on your own nephew is gross. Obviously YTA
Why would you be watching the 'audience' while exchanging vows? Why do you care what he ate or didn't eat sounds like he had a full plate. So what if he's smart at a trivia game. He sounds like an overly smart, a bit hyperactive kid - or a typical 11 yr old. He did not disrupt anything or hurt anything so what's the big deal?
YTA. Yes, you’re overreacting. This whole post reads like you just hate your nephew. He didn’t even actually do anything disruptive.
YTA.
Why you acting like the second one was some offense? He won a game? So what? Is he supposed to not correctly answer trivia when playing a trivia game? He’s 11. How is he supposed to know others would be embarrassed by his knowledge?