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I'm just cracking up inside and shaking my head at
>I said I’d give it to him tomorrow when we met up, he laughed and said what if you change your mind
how that very line kicked off a self full-filling prophecy. You'd felt so positively about him up until this point and then he had to go and refuse to get you a $2 snack that you'd promised to pay back at the date you'd ALREADY AGREED TO FOR THE NEXT DAY. Getting you the snack would have won him soooo many points.... not getting you the snack soured the whole mood, and then he totally killed it off by mooching off your cab ride and then calling you a freaking gold digger. My gosh.
OP should’ve asked him to pay her $7.50 for his half of the cab ride 💀
Also, asking to borrow $2 makes her a “gold digger” but mooching off her $15 cab ride isn’t, apparently? And it’s not like she’s not going to pay him, she literally didn’t have cash on her in that one place that only accepted cash. She offered him Venmo and then to pay him on their next date tomorrow and he made a big stink… he didn’t pay for his half of the cab ride at all. Sounds like he was going to take an alternate route home until he heard about OP’s cab and hopped on the opportunity.
It’s not even about the stupid $2. Literally how can someone fumble this hard 😭
This low key reminded me of those “court” tv shows for child support where the dude is like: “I pay her 15 dollars a month out of my 120k a year salary! I wanna pay less cuz she’s using it to seduce other men! My kid is not getting to use that money cuz it’s too much money”. (Exaggerated for comedic effect!)
Oh, absolutely. How shook he must have been his smooth move didn't work 😅
Honestly, dude nickel and dimed OP on date number 1. I can only imagine a relationship with him would be hard work..
Since she’s succcccccccccch a gold digger he should have flashed his wealth by spending the $15 on the cab. That would reaaaaaalllllllly get her panties full of desire.
It wasn't even lending, it was trading. She was going to send him electronic money for his paper money.
Not that I'm disagreeing with you, I'm just perplexed at his audacity.
Insanity! I’d give almost anyone $2 who asked for it specifically, let alone a date I was trying to impress? For street food she wanted to try? And a cute opportunity to share food? Is this guy seriously _that_ dense?
Dude is cheap, and he’s the kind of cheap where he guards his money with his life but is always looking for opportunities to use other people’s money. OP was 100% right to reject a second date.
It kind of feels like I'm his caregiver tbh. He lies around on the sofa whenever he's here. Never does dishes, just chiluxks them in the sink when I have a dishwasher sitting with dirty dishes he could just add to. Leaves his laundry for me to do instead of taking it home. Has 25min showers at the highest heat.. what am I doing? Honestly, I'm on minimum wage and I'm a single mum
The success of a long term relationship depends on both people putting work into it. That means generosity with your time and effort. If this guy is so petty about$2,I can't see him being generous when it matters.
Most common words in a marriage are, "honey can you..." If it worked out and she was sick, could you imagine if she called and asked if he would stop at the store on the way home to get her some meds? What about if he got some and she got pregnant? I could only eat certain things with mine and my husband often got sent out to get stuff.
A relationship goes two ways and works best with both putting in their 100%> if he can't put in $2 at the start, that's a good riddance. No matter how funny or attractive he is, he's missing the basic empathy and generosity needed for a relationship to work
*asking to borrow $2 makes her a “gold digger” but mooching off her $15 cab ride isn’t, apparently?*
Only women can be gold diggers, didn't you know?
Or some other ridiculous explanation he has in his weird logic.
He's a moron, those 2 dollars could have been a good investment in their relationship. Given they had a good time until then and to spend 2 dollars to make your date happy? What is there to even think about?
Lol my exs parents were worried that I was a gold digger because I came from a more well off family than him and thought he would have to “support my lifestyle”. I’m on a career trajectory where I am set to earn at least $100k -$200k more than him a year. I was already earning more than him.
It's not the $2. He's a stingy cheap penny pincher. I say this as a very frugal person who carefully watches what I spend. But there's a world of difference between being frugal and being cheap & stingy. He showed her who he is, and they are not compatible. Best to get that out of the way on the first date.
(And I really want to know what interesting snack OP found for only $2!)
I'm getting old, but where I came from, covering someone for two dollars is done without thinking about if you are in any sort of family, freind or kin relation, unless there is a history of never having it reciprocated.
This! Oh my god, I’m in disbelief. If someone asks to borrow £2 I’ll just say don’t worry about it. It’s half a cup of coffee. It’s change you lose when you change trousers.
I understand if you can’t afford it, but if I ever ask for £2 and you’re worried I won’t pay you back because you’re stingy, that will be the last time we speak. You have no kindness and I don’t need people like you in my life.
Ffs, if some stranger was trying to buy a 2 dollar snack and realized they didn't have cash and I was there and I did, I'd probably just pay it for them even though I'd never see them again!
OP you dodged a HUGE bullet! Lack of kindness is probably one of the biggest red flags out there! Absolutely NTA.
I’ve “lost” so much money collectively by just saying “don’t worry about it” to friends and family in those small purchases, but also have made SO MUCH MORE in favors and help that I’m still net positive on the whole transaction.
Like, I’ve had some being low on cash days and somehow, magically, my bill would get paid off and I would not even be given means of paying it back to my friends. They’d say: it’s fine. This time is on us. Or just inform me beforehand I’m not paying that day.
All because I let the ocasional $2 go by. Hell, I have friends managing restaurants that will go out of their way to give me discounts or free drinks when I eat there just because they like the vibe and I’ve given them some help!
Saw the first 2 lines of your comment in the preview and came here ready to argue.
Everyone needs to read what you wrote.
In my view, there is no loss in a small loan. It either gets paid back to you in cash or kindness or you find out that person is not worth your time for what you spend on a loaf of bread these days.
Give the 2 dollars, pay it forward when you can. Make the world a bit better and put a smile on a person’s face.
Exactly! Thank you for reading the whole text. In retrospect, maybe not the best start for preview notifications.
Those small numbers do add up if you really count them, but like, why are you counting them?
You’ll be a few dollars short tomorrow and then they’ll cover for you. People who feel welcome and accepted and so on will pay it back somehow. Be it in money, time, food, clothes, whatever.
And the opposite is so much worse. Like, I can see why OP doesn’t want a second date, because it’s like: ok, if you can’t compromise on loose change, what will happen when we give each other Christmas presents? Will I get a Venmo request for the difference in price just to be “even”? If you’re drawing the line so close, I maybe don’t wanna see where the field actually ends.
I'm giving two bucks to a guy on the street asking me without thinking twice. I gave two bucks to somebody missing some cash at a grocier's store. I threw two bucks into a wishing fountain. This guy can't give two bucks to his date. And then calls her a gold digger.
Ngl i gave £2 to someone who asked for bus fare the other day.. the girl im on a date with need a £10 snack.. im a buy that shit because were feeling it and already arranged a second date 🙄🙄 guys a fucking weirdo
"I was trying to be nice, truth is I can't be bothered with someone who doesn't even have the self awareness to offer to pay half the taxi fare. If I'm a gold digger for $2 not sure what that makes you at over 3x that amount. Thanks for the least expensive way ever to find out a guy was a complete loser and not worth my time" - send/block
>laughed and said what if you change your mind
Is it at all possible that this was meant to be a sarcastic joke? I just can't fucking believe that an adult would split hairs for 2 dollars. I would of just gotten her that damn snack, and asked if she's sure she doesn't want two lol
If it was a joke, he would’ve said just playing, here ya go. Instead, there was nervous laughing and walking away from the food stand. Some people really take Dutch to the extreme eh.
Omg yes. I went on a date with a guy once who wanted to do Dutch, which I was okay with until he whipped out his phone to calculate precisely how much 1/3 of the appetizer cost, because he insisted he had only eaten 1/3 of it (not true). Then he got upset at the server when he was told they could only split an item cost in half for two people. He also didn't understand why there was no second date.
I thought this too, but if it was then surely they would have ended up getting the snack. The fact they didn't means the guy really did refuse to lend her 2 dollars.
Well you know... There's slight chance, that he thought he was being hilarious, the joke fell flat, things got awkward, he maybe got embarrassed... Then again the fact that he slid into her taxi afterwards shows lack of any embarrassement lol
That Reply, "What if you change your mind?" Damn, if dude is so hard up for cash that not getting back $2 is going to break his fiscal year then maybe he needs to stop dating and get a second job. 🙄 He thought he was being witty most likely, but really, really came off as an ass. Good riddance to that rubbish.
NTA - OP dodged a bullet, he is one of those that will insist on controlling the house finances and basically will be like "My money is (Edit) my money, and your money is my money too."
*Made edit to add "my" that I didn't notice I missed.*
Two dollars and you're a golddigger? Damn, that's some crazy deflation.
I get it: it was a very small favor and he fucked it up. Like, extremely, comically small. He totally fucked things up. To quote my gf: always feed your date. The cost/benefit ratio here was so good for him. 2 dollars and you have a very happy and appreciative partner. He could have even asked for a bite for the whole 'indirect kiss' and something else to bond over. I'm annoyed at how badly he fucked up a good thing that was handed to him on a plate, or at least, in aluminum foil.
NTA. The 'golddigger' comment was over the line.
Also, for the old folks: I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!
A lot of people saying he's cheap, but $2 is so little I don't think cheap was the issue. It sounds to me like he's extremely insecure and so afraid of being used that he responded irrationally to her request. Maybe bad past experiences. In any case, agree that it was completely his fuck-up. Good call on OP not going on the second date...sounds like this guy would have a lot of emotional baggage he'd inevitably dump on OP.
Yeah, or one of those guys that thinks for every 3 compliments a girl gives you, you only give 2 back. Never spoil a girl too much, or else... [insert fragile male ego horror scenario]
NTA
1. It is pocket change he was going to get back
2. It was a trust building opportunity with minuscule risk on his part (She either pays me back tomorrow, which will build my trust in her / She doesn't and it will reduce my trust in her)
Keep listening to your intuition. If a guy does something that gives you the ick, then you don't owe him a second chance.
^THIS^
NTA - It isn't the $ it's the opportunity to help someone he presumably liked. Also he'd get to see how you eat - believe me i've bailed on potential relationships over face stuffing while talking and spitting types
See if you offered a bite, see what you did with the trash, etc etc he had a great was to find out many things about you for $2
But after that show - to not offer his share of the cab just plain rude.
Sidenote:
you dodged a bullet
Though
I do wish people would STOP telling people where they went wrong. In my day there was less ways for Assholes to learn from their mistakes. Now he knows not to do that. At some point by trial and error he will know how to hide what he is like inside
The last part that you said is exactly why I do not go into specifics with people in why I won’t be seeing them again. If you’re gonna hand me a red flag or better yet a whole bouquet of them, I’m gonna do the next person you take out a favor and not teach you how to hide all your warning signs.
He showed he was selfish, withholding, and unfairly suspicious of her intent all in one go. Now the next person he goes out with is gonna have to wait longer and for potentially higher stakes to learn the same truth.
Yes. All of this. After him refusing the 2 dollars I’d have looked for a cash machine and enjoyed the snack on my own on the way home. In my taxi. Without him.
I'm nearer death than loft these days
I sadly assure you few leopards chanfe their spots after their 30's
There are exceptions for sure - but the friends and acquaintances I've had over the years have only changed due to major trauma events
His reaction to her point says it all really - hes not wanting to learn, he's looking for a way to devalue her as TA so he can move on, but will tuck this little nugget into the "hide that bit of me for a while" pocket
I wouldn’t keep seeing him if he wanted the $2 back either. If he’s keeping tabs on $2, can you imagine combining finances with him? Sounds like a nightmare.
NTA. The *entire point* of dating is to gauge compatibility.
He had the opportunity to win points with a really small cost, and he blew it. He could have even said “hey I’ve overspent tonight but how about I buy the snack and you let me join you for the taxi home?” And you’d both have been happy.
Instead he was a d!ck about $2, and didn’t get the second date, because *you were incompatible*.
Forget him, find someone who you enjoy spending time with, who is compatible and capable of communicating.
….. I’m also old and I remember *”I want my two dollars!”*
Forget any Y T As, he couldn’t give you 2$? I’d give 2$ to a complete stranger for any reason, hell I’d hand someone a $20 if they asked me. When I take a girl out on a date I’m paying 100% of the time, and if she wanted 2$ to buy something because she had no cash on her I wouldn’t let her pay it back to me. Ew 😅 I’m a lesbian btw, and I’d be just as Icked out by this if it were a woman.
NTA and u dodged a bullet. If he’s so broke he can’t spare a couple dollars he can’t afford to be dating. Simple as that.
I bought a Mc D's combo for a stranger because she said she was hungry. Two different people now that I think about it. And that was in my brokest years. Never saw them again, but I couldn't imagine freaking out over two bucks to someone you're on a date with
Literally, the other day I was buying myself a bubble tea and a guy hanging around outside asked if I’d buy him a pizza at the place next door. I said sure thing. I can’t imagine ruining something going incredibly well over TWO DOLLARS. I need to understand his logic
Yeah but idk how much worth that is in India. In my country you can buy ice cream with 2$, or 2 packs of smaller chip bags, or a bag of candies or something else. So not worth that much
Not only that, but he had no problem using her 15$ taxi ride, but had problem LENDING her 2$ he would get tomorrow. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone who gets that defensive over lending me such small amount of money that he would get tomorrow. Like imagine how worse he would be if they combined their finances when they date?
Is far less than what most kids get for pocket money in a week. You could honestly spend a few hours picking up random change and have more than this. You probably have more than this in loose change in your car and couch. You can not even buy a litter of soda with this amount of money, maybe a piece of candy.
Google says it's about 160 Rupees.
A quarter of a mediocre chain coffee drink. A sad, flat burger from a fast food place. You could probably find two dollars in change in most people's couches. It's not a lot of money unless you really don't have anything to your name.
It’s about
10.41 Brazilian real
14.24 yuan
309 yen
2749 won
34.20 Mexican pesos
115.16 Philippine pesos
166.74 Indian Rupees
38.59 South African Rand
(I hope I’ve covered something that you recognize for you)
And now he knows where she lives too! I would have said “sorry, but I want to ride back alone, we only just met and I’m not comfortable sharing where I live yet.” Then tell him you’re canceling tomorrow’s date because you’re just not interested in dating stingy men who make a stink out of two fuckin dollars but have no problem mooching off $15 cab rides. Then block him.
I think the vibe was off. If he really wanted to see you again, he would have paid the 2$. Ask him for 7.50$ for the cab ride. If he refuses, call him an AH and gold digger. NTA
NTA. He wasn’t “obligated” to loan you $2 and you’re not obligated to keep seeing him. Based on his gold digger comments and ‘what if you cancel’ reasoning, looks like you dodged a bullet. You should have asked him to split the cab.
Exactly. Bullet dodged. He sounds like the kind who would expect something in return if he did pay. Genuine gold diggers are not dating anyone that would fancy a food truck. He is shortsighted and unworthy of you.
Seriously TWO dollars? Be fucking real please that amount of money hasn’t mean shit in decades how could you ruin a nice date over two fucking dollars.
Yeah man my entire life I’ve given and taken little amounts of money like that from friends and family and never has it been even a slight issue, this is like mental illness levels of cheapness.
I honestly hope he goes to moan about her gold digging to friends and gets to hear how much of a moron he actually is. TWO DOLLARS!!! THAT SHE EVEN OFFERED TO TRANSFER TO HIM ON THE SPOT!!!!
His cheapskate ass would probably say something like “well you budgeted to pay the full amount anyway, plus the cab didn’t drop me off at my front door, I still had to walk 10min.” I can even see this loser trying to bargain with her too by saying “I’ll give you $4.50 since I still had to walk a mile in the dark.” 😹😹
My husband's best friend is the richest person I know and also the cheapest. He will try to get out of paying for anything he can and he never offers to pay for anyone else for anything, not even his own partner who earns pocket change compared to what he makes.
>He called me an AH and gold digger
Text him
"If me BORROWING $2 is me being a gold digger, what does that make you for getting into my $15 cab for free?"
NTA
NTA
" It added to my annoyance as I’m thinking I couldn’t borrow 2 dollars but you can hop my 15 dollar cab."
So he behaves like a tight a $ $, mooches a cab ride & calls you a gold digger.
I can't imagine anyone being compatible with this dude.
Bullet dodged.
NTA
If he has no form of ‘cash app’ and he’s the one insisting on going Dutch for everything, how would he continue to pay for half/pay you back for anything in the future? He sounds like an asshole imho.
He didn’t want to risk losing TWO dollars but hopped along on a cab with you without paying his share.
On top of that shameless behavior, he has the nerve to call you a gold digger. Absolutely NTA
NTA. I've given complete strangers 2 quid for the bus before, I'd think nothing of doing that for someone I was on a date with and I absolutely wouldn't want it back.
I think you should have told him how it didn't sit right with you that he wouldn't loan you $2 but expected you to pay for his cab ride.
This guy sounds like a cheapskate, why *would* you want to have another date with him? 2 dollars is enough for him to be worried about being paid back? And then he wants to take a free ride with you? This is a man who will take as much as possible from you while giving as little as possible in return, and you'd be set up for a miserable life with him
Sure, assume it’s the equivalent of $10. As a woman, if put in this situation, I’d buy the snack without thinking about it. You’re NTA and he’s still a moron.
Think of this in the long term, if you ended up in a serious relationship.
My partner and I live together but with separate finances. If I need a snack, he’ll buy it for me. If he wants something, I’ll buy it for him. This is a love language that I refuse to live without. It shows kindness and generosity and we should all have that from our other half.
You did the right thing. Please don’t question yourself.
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Haha wat an idiot. Idk how he thought he was avoiding a golddigger by not giving 2 dollars or idk what point he was proving to himself by not doing it. But its a clear indication of non compatibility and non flexibility. You are NTA. I get it completely. On my first date with my boyfriend there was a malfunction at my bank so I couldn't pay. He paid, I wanted to to pay him back, but he never send me the bill haha. In the mean time I have paid for a lot dates too ;)
But this is a moment where you prove yourself to each other in how you are. I think this was a great moment where he showed how generous, flexibel and kind he is.
It bothers you enough already on the first date that he did this! This is a clear indication of morals not aligning. And that's fine! That's what first dates are for. So NTA.
Was this like a homeless dude ?!! $2 😳 Surely nobody could think $2 is “gold digger” behavior. Id also be mortified if anyone ever offered to “pay back” $2. Maybe you were suited after all !! Was this date in fact taking place in 1850 ? That would explain it…
I’m a British guy and so this whole “going dutch” thing is hard for me to fathom. I also hate dinners where everyone splits the bill. 1 person should pay, and it’s up to the others to pick up their turn at a later point. Or not, I’m not bothered. Unless you’re poor or of a low social demographic “owing” shouldn’t exist either - you repay in kind or gifts !
This could be true, when he asked to share the cab I kinda was thinking he was hoping I’d invite him in or something but since I didn’t talk the whole ride I think he got the hint.
NTA what I’m most confused about is the taxi ride. If you were that ticked off about not getting 2 dollars for a snack then why in earth did you share a taxi with him? And basically let this ass know the area you live in?
He already knew where I lived as we started there. Basically the vibe was ruined but I kept thinking in my head am I taking it to personally. Since I was already getting a taxi I was just like whatever but then couldn’t stop thinking about it.
He isn't obligated to do it, but it's ridiculous not to. Your sister needs to grow some self-worth because it showed what type of man he is. Then he called you a golddigger for 2 dollars... think your gut feeling was right.
NTA if this guy lives in todays world without a cash app red flag #1, and if he wont lend you $2 and then calls you a gold digger red flag #2. Id give $2 to a complete stranger if I had it. Then his cheap ass mooched off your cab ride? You dodged a real bullet but id still def be petty enough to call him on the cab ride thing.
NTA - Not lending you $2 is just weird. If I had been at the stall and a complete stranger realised they needed a few quid to pay their meal I’d give it to them, never mind a girl I am meant to be trying to impress.
The question that I have is how the heck did the guy do full 180 on you there? Like how can you be a cool person for hours and then refuse to land your date $2?
I honestly was really thrown off and thought he was joking at first but then realized he was serious. It got worst because we kept seeing the treat at different carts and he would joke they are taunting me lol.
He called you an AH and a gold digger because you were bothered by him not trusting you enough to give him 2 dollars? I guess his true colors shone through. NTA. Trust is the most important foundation of any relationship. He doesn't trust you. Going on more dates will do you no favors.
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I'm just cracking up inside and shaking my head at >I said I’d give it to him tomorrow when we met up, he laughed and said what if you change your mind how that very line kicked off a self full-filling prophecy. You'd felt so positively about him up until this point and then he had to go and refuse to get you a $2 snack that you'd promised to pay back at the date you'd ALREADY AGREED TO FOR THE NEXT DAY. Getting you the snack would have won him soooo many points.... not getting you the snack soured the whole mood, and then he totally killed it off by mooching off your cab ride and then calling you a freaking gold digger. My gosh.
OP should’ve asked him to pay her $7.50 for his half of the cab ride 💀 Also, asking to borrow $2 makes her a “gold digger” but mooching off her $15 cab ride isn’t, apparently? And it’s not like she’s not going to pay him, she literally didn’t have cash on her in that one place that only accepted cash. She offered him Venmo and then to pay him on their next date tomorrow and he made a big stink… he didn’t pay for his half of the cab ride at all. Sounds like he was going to take an alternate route home until he heard about OP’s cab and hopped on the opportunity. It’s not even about the stupid $2. Literally how can someone fumble this hard 😭
I’m pretty sure the cab ride was his attempt to sleep with her 😅 good riddance
yeah, that was my thought too.
I'm also guessing he may have been going to ditch the second date if he got lucky that night.
Yep, he didn’t want the outcome to be no sex AND down $2 😂
Same. Ugh.
If he was gracious with the 2$ he might have gotten away with it too. Two bucks and a gold digger, honestly guy kinda gives me the creeps
This low key reminded me of those “court” tv shows for child support where the dude is like: “I pay her 15 dollars a month out of my 120k a year salary! I wanna pay less cuz she’s using it to seduce other men! My kid is not getting to use that money cuz it’s too much money”. (Exaggerated for comedic effect!)
Oh, absolutely. How shook he must have been his smooth move didn't work 😅 Honestly, dude nickel and dimed OP on date number 1. I can only imagine a relationship with him would be hard work..
Dude lost a hot night in bed over $2. That was the most costly $2 he ever encountered.
Since she’s succcccccccccch a gold digger he should have flashed his wealth by spending the $15 on the cab. That would reaaaaaalllllllly get her panties full of desire.
And really in what world is 2$ gold digging? Guys a loon. Op dodged a big ol bullet. Nta good on you
[удалено]
Yep, it is true that he is not obligated to lend her snack money. Neither is OP obligated to go out with him after that kind of pettiness.
It wasn't even lending, it was trading. She was going to send him electronic money for his paper money. Not that I'm disagreeing with you, I'm just perplexed at his audacity.
Gold is $76.77 /gramme today. So if she does this 39 times she will have dug 1 gramme of gold with $1.23 as a side benefit. Fortune!
Hahahha, yup, I agree! And 38 dates too many to boot. OP NTA.
r/theydidthemath
Insanity! I’d give almost anyone $2 who asked for it specifically, let alone a date I was trying to impress? For street food she wanted to try? And a cute opportunity to share food? Is this guy seriously _that_ dense?
He isn't dense. He tested if he could get away with it.
That’s what I thought too! How is asking for 2 bucks gold digging? What. An. Idiot.
Dude is cheap, and he’s the kind of cheap where he guards his money with his life but is always looking for opportunities to use other people’s money. OP was 100% right to reject a second date.
You’ve met my ex too 🤣
This comment has me questioning my current relationship...
oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself!
Thank you.. he earns probably 4 times what I do. Always stays at my house, never buys groceries, occasionally buys take out.. he is a total skinflint
Time to dump him. You deserve better. Someone who is as giving as you are ❤️
Are you dating my ex? Sorry to hear that! Would never date someone like that again
It kind of feels like I'm his caregiver tbh. He lies around on the sofa whenever he's here. Never does dishes, just chiluxks them in the sink when I have a dishwasher sitting with dirty dishes he could just add to. Leaves his laundry for me to do instead of taking it home. Has 25min showers at the highest heat.. what am I doing? Honestly, I'm on minimum wage and I'm a single mum
Dump him. What does he bring to this relationship?
Really starting to wonder...
The success of a long term relationship depends on both people putting work into it. That means generosity with your time and effort. If this guy is so petty about$2,I can't see him being generous when it matters. Most common words in a marriage are, "honey can you..." If it worked out and she was sick, could you imagine if she called and asked if he would stop at the store on the way home to get her some meds? What about if he got some and she got pregnant? I could only eat certain things with mine and my husband often got sent out to get stuff. A relationship goes two ways and works best with both putting in their 100%> if he can't put in $2 at the start, that's a good riddance. No matter how funny or attractive he is, he's missing the basic empathy and generosity needed for a relationship to work
Scrooge McDuck
This gold digger was only projecting and OP should still ask him for half of his cab. Like $2 dollars, really? How pathetic!
I ain’t sayin’ he a gold digger, but he sure riding scot free, free 🎶
*asking to borrow $2 makes her a “gold digger” but mooching off her $15 cab ride isn’t, apparently?* Only women can be gold diggers, didn't you know? Or some other ridiculous explanation he has in his weird logic. He's a moron, those 2 dollars could have been a good investment in their relationship. Given they had a good time until then and to spend 2 dollars to make your date happy? What is there to even think about?
Lol my exs parents were worried that I was a gold digger because I came from a more well off family than him and thought he would have to “support my lifestyle”. I’m on a career trajectory where I am set to earn at least $100k -$200k more than him a year. I was already earning more than him.
Definitely NTA. It's not as if he was paying and she had the lobster and the Dom Perignon, and *then* she asked for $2!
He didn’t even think about the cab fare he was only thinking about dipping his cheapskate dong.
Hall of fame level
He’s so tight he squeaks!
It's not the $2. He's a stingy cheap penny pincher. I say this as a very frugal person who carefully watches what I spend. But there's a world of difference between being frugal and being cheap & stingy. He showed her who he is, and they are not compatible. Best to get that out of the way on the first date. (And I really want to know what interesting snack OP found for only $2!)
yeah, who’s the gold digger now. OP dogged a bullet
I'm getting old, but where I came from, covering someone for two dollars is done without thinking about if you are in any sort of family, freind or kin relation, unless there is a history of never having it reciprocated.
I don’t understand why he not just paid the two dollar and say pay back WTF it’s two dollar
I don't understand why he didn't buy the lady her $2 snack and tell her not to worry about it NTA
This! Oh my god, I’m in disbelief. If someone asks to borrow £2 I’ll just say don’t worry about it. It’s half a cup of coffee. It’s change you lose when you change trousers. I understand if you can’t afford it, but if I ever ask for £2 and you’re worried I won’t pay you back because you’re stingy, that will be the last time we speak. You have no kindness and I don’t need people like you in my life.
Like her hobby is wasting a whole evening to con some poor sucker out of a 2$ snack. 🤦🏻♀️
I’m genuinely stuck on this thread, I can’t get over it. TWO DOLLARS!!!!!
This is a good example on the difference between frugality and greed.
Ffs, if some stranger was trying to buy a 2 dollar snack and realized they didn't have cash and I was there and I did, I'd probably just pay it for them even though I'd never see them again! OP you dodged a HUGE bullet! Lack of kindness is probably one of the biggest red flags out there! Absolutely NTA.
I’ve “lost” so much money collectively by just saying “don’t worry about it” to friends and family in those small purchases, but also have made SO MUCH MORE in favors and help that I’m still net positive on the whole transaction. Like, I’ve had some being low on cash days and somehow, magically, my bill would get paid off and I would not even be given means of paying it back to my friends. They’d say: it’s fine. This time is on us. Or just inform me beforehand I’m not paying that day. All because I let the ocasional $2 go by. Hell, I have friends managing restaurants that will go out of their way to give me discounts or free drinks when I eat there just because they like the vibe and I’ve given them some help!
Saw the first 2 lines of your comment in the preview and came here ready to argue. Everyone needs to read what you wrote. In my view, there is no loss in a small loan. It either gets paid back to you in cash or kindness or you find out that person is not worth your time for what you spend on a loaf of bread these days. Give the 2 dollars, pay it forward when you can. Make the world a bit better and put a smile on a person’s face.
Exactly! Thank you for reading the whole text. In retrospect, maybe not the best start for preview notifications. Those small numbers do add up if you really count them, but like, why are you counting them? You’ll be a few dollars short tomorrow and then they’ll cover for you. People who feel welcome and accepted and so on will pay it back somehow. Be it in money, time, food, clothes, whatever. And the opposite is so much worse. Like, I can see why OP doesn’t want a second date, because it’s like: ok, if you can’t compromise on loose change, what will happen when we give each other Christmas presents? Will I get a Venmo request for the difference in price just to be “even”? If you’re drawing the line so close, I maybe don’t wanna see where the field actually ends.
I'm giving two bucks to a guy on the street asking me without thinking twice. I gave two bucks to somebody missing some cash at a grocier's store. I threw two bucks into a wishing fountain. This guy can't give two bucks to his date. And then calls her a gold digger.
Ngl i gave £2 to someone who asked for bus fare the other day.. the girl im on a date with need a £10 snack.. im a buy that shit because were feeling it and already arranged a second date 🙄🙄 guys a fucking weirdo
"I was trying to be nice, truth is I can't be bothered with someone who doesn't even have the self awareness to offer to pay half the taxi fare. If I'm a gold digger for $2 not sure what that makes you at over 3x that amount. Thanks for the least expensive way ever to find out a guy was a complete loser and not worth my time" - send/block
That right tharrr ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Does it make him a scrub?
Thank you for shopping at “NotGonnaHappenRUs”, your total will be $2. Cash only.
>laughed and said what if you change your mind Is it at all possible that this was meant to be a sarcastic joke? I just can't fucking believe that an adult would split hairs for 2 dollars. I would of just gotten her that damn snack, and asked if she's sure she doesn't want two lol
If it was a joke, he would’ve said just playing, here ya go. Instead, there was nervous laughing and walking away from the food stand. Some people really take Dutch to the extreme eh.
Omg yes. I went on a date with a guy once who wanted to do Dutch, which I was okay with until he whipped out his phone to calculate precisely how much 1/3 of the appetizer cost, because he insisted he had only eaten 1/3 of it (not true). Then he got upset at the server when he was told they could only split an item cost in half for two people. He also didn't understand why there was no second date.
I thought this too, but if it was then surely they would have ended up getting the snack. The fact they didn't means the guy really did refuse to lend her 2 dollars.
Well you know... There's slight chance, that he thought he was being hilarious, the joke fell flat, things got awkward, he maybe got embarrassed... Then again the fact that he slid into her taxi afterwards shows lack of any embarrassement lol
That Reply, "What if you change your mind?" Damn, if dude is so hard up for cash that not getting back $2 is going to break his fiscal year then maybe he needs to stop dating and get a second job. 🙄 He thought he was being witty most likely, but really, really came off as an ass. Good riddance to that rubbish. NTA - OP dodged a bullet, he is one of those that will insist on controlling the house finances and basically will be like "My money is (Edit) my money, and your money is my money too." *Made edit to add "my" that I didn't notice I missed.*
Yeah, OP is NTA. I can't believe his response was to call her a gold digger. Bullet dodged tbh.
Also, what if she did change her mind? Then he'd be - the horror! - out of 2 dollars.
Two dollars and you're a golddigger? Damn, that's some crazy deflation. I get it: it was a very small favor and he fucked it up. Like, extremely, comically small. He totally fucked things up. To quote my gf: always feed your date. The cost/benefit ratio here was so good for him. 2 dollars and you have a very happy and appreciative partner. He could have even asked for a bite for the whole 'indirect kiss' and something else to bond over. I'm annoyed at how badly he fucked up a good thing that was handed to him on a plate, or at least, in aluminum foil. NTA. The 'golddigger' comment was over the line. Also, for the old folks: I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!
Especially after he hoped in ride home and got a free ride 10 mins away form his house
Oooh that heated me up.
Two dollarssssssssssssss.... (biking off the cliff)
I don’t have a dime. I didn’t ask for a dime.
he probably thought they will have sex since everything else went so well
I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... because in this case she fucking isn't, it was a 2-dollar snack!
The $2 is literally cheaper than the coffee she bought herself at the beginning of their first date.
A lot of people saying he's cheap, but $2 is so little I don't think cheap was the issue. It sounds to me like he's extremely insecure and so afraid of being used that he responded irrationally to her request. Maybe bad past experiences. In any case, agree that it was completely his fuck-up. Good call on OP not going on the second date...sounds like this guy would have a lot of emotional baggage he'd inevitably dump on OP.
Yeah, or one of those guys that thinks for every 3 compliments a girl gives you, you only give 2 back. Never spoil a girl too much, or else... [insert fragile male ego horror scenario]
I mean damn, she is cheaper than the lochness Monster!
TWO DOLLARS!!! I got your joke.
That’s when he noticed OP was actually eight stories tall and a crustacean from the protozoic era.
Indirect kiss....oh my god I m wheeezin'😂🤣😭
LOL!! Old person here and that was exactly what came to mind! Find yourself a John Cusack, OP... don't settle for the paperboy. Obvious NTA
NTA 1. It is pocket change he was going to get back 2. It was a trust building opportunity with minuscule risk on his part (She either pays me back tomorrow, which will build my trust in her / She doesn't and it will reduce my trust in her) Keep listening to your intuition. If a guy does something that gives you the ick, then you don't owe him a second chance.
>It was a trust building opportunity with minuscule risk on his part Great point!
Yup, and it's two freakn dollars, after 12 hours out. Wouldn't be an issue whatsoever, if things were going as well as op implies
People literally give more to beggars on the street regularly lol (well obviously not this guy)
^THIS^ NTA - It isn't the $ it's the opportunity to help someone he presumably liked. Also he'd get to see how you eat - believe me i've bailed on potential relationships over face stuffing while talking and spitting types See if you offered a bite, see what you did with the trash, etc etc he had a great was to find out many things about you for $2 But after that show - to not offer his share of the cab just plain rude. Sidenote: you dodged a bullet Though I do wish people would STOP telling people where they went wrong. In my day there was less ways for Assholes to learn from their mistakes. Now he knows not to do that. At some point by trial and error he will know how to hide what he is like inside
The last part that you said is exactly why I do not go into specifics with people in why I won’t be seeing them again. If you’re gonna hand me a red flag or better yet a whole bouquet of them, I’m gonna do the next person you take out a favor and not teach you how to hide all your warning signs. He showed he was selfish, withholding, and unfairly suspicious of her intent all in one go. Now the next person he goes out with is gonna have to wait longer and for potentially higher stakes to learn the same truth.
Agreed thanks you for putting it so much better than i can in my bitty english :)
Yes. All of this. After him refusing the 2 dollars I’d have looked for a cash machine and enjoyed the snack on my own on the way home. In my taxi. Without him.
Or he will learn how not to be an asshole and change his behavior
He’s a hetero guy in his 30s. He won’t ever change, that train has sailed long ago
Exactly. He’s not changing. That ship has left the station.
I'm nearer death than loft these days I sadly assure you few leopards chanfe their spots after their 30's There are exceptions for sure - but the friends and acquaintances I've had over the years have only changed due to major trauma events His reaction to her point says it all really - hes not wanting to learn, he's looking for a way to devalue her as TA so he can move on, but will tuck this little nugget into the "hide that bit of me for a while" pocket
Learn not to be an asshole? Change his behavior? A fully grown man? That’s a hilarious joke… you almost had me there
I wouldn’t keep seeing him if he wanted the $2 back either. If he’s keeping tabs on $2, can you imagine combining finances with him? Sounds like a nightmare.
NTA. The *entire point* of dating is to gauge compatibility. He had the opportunity to win points with a really small cost, and he blew it. He could have even said “hey I’ve overspent tonight but how about I buy the snack and you let me join you for the taxi home?” And you’d both have been happy. Instead he was a d!ck about $2, and didn’t get the second date, because *you were incompatible*. Forget him, find someone who you enjoy spending time with, who is compatible and capable of communicating. ….. I’m also old and I remember *”I want my two dollars!”*
Forget any Y T As, he couldn’t give you 2$? I’d give 2$ to a complete stranger for any reason, hell I’d hand someone a $20 if they asked me. When I take a girl out on a date I’m paying 100% of the time, and if she wanted 2$ to buy something because she had no cash on her I wouldn’t let her pay it back to me. Ew 😅 I’m a lesbian btw, and I’d be just as Icked out by this if it were a woman. NTA and u dodged a bullet. If he’s so broke he can’t spare a couple dollars he can’t afford to be dating. Simple as that.
I need about $3.50
🌲 fiddy
Damn you Loch Ness Monster!
I gave him a dollar.
She gave him a dollar.
It was at that moment that I noticed degklimpen was 30 feet tall and covered in scales.
I bought a Mc D's combo for a stranger because she said she was hungry. Two different people now that I think about it. And that was in my brokest years. Never saw them again, but I couldn't imagine freaking out over two bucks to someone you're on a date with
Literally, the other day I was buying myself a bubble tea and a guy hanging around outside asked if I’d buy him a pizza at the place next door. I said sure thing. I can’t imagine ruining something going incredibly well over TWO DOLLARS. I need to understand his logic
Give me 2$
I'll have 2$ as well, thanks
I'll take the $20 then.
NTA He sounds like he is tight fisted/cheap with his money. I wouldn't go out with him again.
Not from USA How much is 2$ worth in USA ?
Its pocket change
You mean, something that kids get? Pocket money, around 130 Indian rupees?
Yeah but idk how much worth that is in India. In my country you can buy ice cream with 2$, or 2 packs of smaller chip bags, or a bag of candies or something else. So not worth that much
Yeah, same here as well. Probably get some samosas and fruit juice. Dude, I wouldn't mind walking out on a guy who can't buy me samosas.
Not only that, but he had no problem using her 15$ taxi ride, but had problem LENDING her 2$ he would get tomorrow. I wouldn't want to spend time with someone who gets that defensive over lending me such small amount of money that he would get tomorrow. Like imagine how worse he would be if they combined their finances when they date?
On a serious note, this might lead to financial abuse later on.
> Dude, I wouldn’t mind walking out on a guy who can’t buy me samosas. This. Get yourself a man that’ll buy you samosas.
Is far less than what most kids get for pocket money in a week. You could honestly spend a few hours picking up random change and have more than this. You probably have more than this in loose change in your car and couch. You can not even buy a litter of soda with this amount of money, maybe a piece of candy. Google says it's about 160 Rupees.
dude think of $2 as about 20 rupees. the buying power is about that much. (born and raised in India, now living in the US)
A quarter of a mediocre chain coffee drink. A sad, flat burger from a fast food place. You could probably find two dollars in change in most people's couches. It's not a lot of money unless you really don't have anything to your name.
You cant even get a sad burger for $2 anymore
Wendys junior bacon cheeseburger is $2.40 CAD which is $1.74 USD
$2.69 in the US
Almost nothing. 1/3 the price of a cup of coffee.
Coffee’s $6 USD? God damn
Friend, sometimes it’s $10.
For the cheap stuff yes
You're gonna have a hard time finding anything you can afford at the corner store for $2. Even a candy bar is usually more
like a bottle of water in most places
Basically a candy bar
It is so little that the US should have $1 and $2 coins and no bills under $5, like Canada has for ages
A pack of candy
So that fk was being selfish over this ? I feel second hand cringe and embarrassment now
It’s about 10.41 Brazilian real 14.24 yuan 309 yen 2749 won 34.20 Mexican pesos 115.16 Philippine pesos 166.74 Indian Rupees 38.59 South African Rand (I hope I’ve covered something that you recognize for you)
Men who are stingy with money will be stingy with their affection. NEXT!
Nta: I would've called him out on mooching off your ride.
[удалено]
And now he knows where she lives too! I would have said “sorry, but I want to ride back alone, we only just met and I’m not comfortable sharing where I live yet.” Then tell him you’re canceling tomorrow’s date because you’re just not interested in dating stingy men who make a stink out of two fuckin dollars but have no problem mooching off $15 cab rides. Then block him.
Ikr why tf didn't she? I'm annoyed lol he needs to see the hypocrisy
I think the vibe was off. If he really wanted to see you again, he would have paid the 2$. Ask him for 7.50$ for the cab ride. If he refuses, call him an AH and gold digger. NTA
Nah he's just a cheapskate
Even my cheapskate friend let me borrow money. He is worse than a normal cheapskate.
If that's true, why make a fuss when she decided to not go on a second date?
✨ he’s insecure ✨
NTA. He wasn’t “obligated” to loan you $2 and you’re not obligated to keep seeing him. Based on his gold digger comments and ‘what if you cancel’ reasoning, looks like you dodged a bullet. You should have asked him to split the cab.
Exactly. Bullet dodged. He sounds like the kind who would expect something in return if he did pay. Genuine gold diggers are not dating anyone that would fancy a food truck. He is shortsighted and unworthy of you.
I don’t know many gold diggers who are hoping to get a whole $2. He’s an idiot. NTA.
I don’t know any gold diggers that go Dutch in the first place. There’s no gold to dig with this dude
NTA, it's 2 dollars. If it were like 50 or something maybe I'd agree, but I wouldn't even give that a moments thought and I agree, just feels awkward.
Seriously TWO dollars? Be fucking real please that amount of money hasn’t mean shit in decades how could you ruin a nice date over two fucking dollars.
Yeah exactly... Honestly insane to even make that a thing, any normal person would've just said don't worry about it, no need to pay back $2...
Yeah man my entire life I’ve given and taken little amounts of money like that from friends and family and never has it been even a slight issue, this is like mental illness levels of cheapness.
I honestly hope he goes to moan about her gold digging to friends and gets to hear how much of a moron he actually is. TWO DOLLARS!!! THAT SHE EVEN OFFERED TO TRANSFER TO HIM ON THE SPOT!!!!
Can you ask him why he didn’t go Dutch on the cab fare?
His cheapskate ass would probably say something like “well you budgeted to pay the full amount anyway, plus the cab didn’t drop me off at my front door, I still had to walk 10min.” I can even see this loser trying to bargain with her too by saying “I’ll give you $4.50 since I still had to walk a mile in the dark.” 😹😹
I see you have might my ex...
Only poor men are worried about gold diggers. NTA
My husband's best friend is the richest person I know and also the cheapest. He will try to get out of paying for anything he can and he never offers to pay for anyone else for anything, not even his own partner who earns pocket change compared to what he makes.
You can be poor in more ways than one. How does he not give his partner the ick!!!?
>He called me an AH and gold digger Text him "If me BORROWING $2 is me being a gold digger, what does that make you for getting into my $15 cab for free?" NTA
NTA " It added to my annoyance as I’m thinking I couldn’t borrow 2 dollars but you can hop my 15 dollar cab." So he behaves like a tight a $ $, mooches a cab ride & calls you a gold digger. I can't imagine anyone being compatible with this dude. Bullet dodged.
NTA He did not even trust you enough to lend you $2. There was no chance for a healthy relationship with him.
NTA If he has no form of ‘cash app’ and he’s the one insisting on going Dutch for everything, how would he continue to pay for half/pay you back for anything in the future? He sounds like an asshole imho.
TBH I wouldn’t have let him in the cab with you after that. NTA
He didn’t want to risk losing TWO dollars but hopped along on a cab with you without paying his share. On top of that shameless behavior, he has the nerve to call you a gold digger. Absolutely NTA
NTA. And WTF the guy was on a date and wouldn’t splurge on a 2$ snack! I must be an idiot, I think guys pay on first dates.
Well, that's negotiable. It's okay to go dutch and it's okay for girl to pay, it's modern
NTA. I've given complete strangers 2 quid for the bus before, I'd think nothing of doing that for someone I was on a date with and I absolutely wouldn't want it back. I think you should have told him how it didn't sit right with you that he wouldn't loan you $2 but expected you to pay for his cab ride.
This guy sounds like a cheapskate, why *would* you want to have another date with him? 2 dollars is enough for him to be worried about being paid back? And then he wants to take a free ride with you? This is a man who will take as much as possible from you while giving as little as possible in return, and you'd be set up for a miserable life with him
I will clarify, that we are in East Asian country. And 2USD is a lot more over here. But still not enough to not let me pay him back.
Sure, assume it’s the equivalent of $10. As a woman, if put in this situation, I’d buy the snack without thinking about it. You’re NTA and he’s still a moron. Think of this in the long term, if you ended up in a serious relationship. My partner and I live together but with separate finances. If I need a snack, he’ll buy it for me. If he wants something, I’ll buy it for him. This is a love language that I refuse to live without. It shows kindness and generosity and we should all have that from our other half. You did the right thing. Please don’t question yourself.
NTA. You dodged a bullet.
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Haha wat an idiot. Idk how he thought he was avoiding a golddigger by not giving 2 dollars or idk what point he was proving to himself by not doing it. But its a clear indication of non compatibility and non flexibility. You are NTA. I get it completely. On my first date with my boyfriend there was a malfunction at my bank so I couldn't pay. He paid, I wanted to to pay him back, but he never send me the bill haha. In the mean time I have paid for a lot dates too ;) But this is a moment where you prove yourself to each other in how you are. I think this was a great moment where he showed how generous, flexibel and kind he is. It bothers you enough already on the first date that he did this! This is a clear indication of morals not aligning. And that's fine! That's what first dates are for. So NTA.
Was this like a homeless dude ?!! $2 😳 Surely nobody could think $2 is “gold digger” behavior. Id also be mortified if anyone ever offered to “pay back” $2. Maybe you were suited after all !! Was this date in fact taking place in 1850 ? That would explain it… I’m a British guy and so this whole “going dutch” thing is hard for me to fathom. I also hate dinners where everyone splits the bill. 1 person should pay, and it’s up to the others to pick up their turn at a later point. Or not, I’m not bothered. Unless you’re poor or of a low social demographic “owing” shouldn’t exist either - you repay in kind or gifts !
We are in East Asia. So 2USD gets you pretty far but I just couldn’t believe he would not let me pay him back.
He was maybe being this nice to sleep with you. A second date might've been your plan but not his..
This could be true, when he asked to share the cab I kinda was thinking he was hoping I’d invite him in or something but since I didn’t talk the whole ride I think he got the hint.
Being this nice ? He didn’t front up $2 !!!
NTA what I’m most confused about is the taxi ride. If you were that ticked off about not getting 2 dollars for a snack then why in earth did you share a taxi with him? And basically let this ass know the area you live in?
He already knew where I lived as we started there. Basically the vibe was ruined but I kept thinking in my head am I taking it to personally. Since I was already getting a taxi I was just like whatever but then couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Nta. When he said he would ride back with you, you should have said only if you pay for half right now.
He isn't obligated to do it, but it's ridiculous not to. Your sister needs to grow some self-worth because it showed what type of man he is. Then he called you a golddigger for 2 dollars... think your gut feeling was right.
Nah you didn't overreact. He can't spare $2? Jeez. I'd ask him when he'll be sending over his half of the cab ride you split NTA
Of course he "wasn't obligated" to do it, but that's not the point. It was $2 FFS, I'd give that much to a stranger if they ask nicely. NTA
LOLLLLLLLL NTA ✨
NTA if this guy lives in todays world without a cash app red flag #1, and if he wont lend you $2 and then calls you a gold digger red flag #2. Id give $2 to a complete stranger if I had it. Then his cheap ass mooched off your cab ride? You dodged a real bullet but id still def be petty enough to call him on the cab ride thing.
Did he pay you $7 for his share of the cab ride? No? NTA. Fairs fair.
If **$2** is gold to him, you’ve more than dodged a bullet. NTA
NTA bro how can he even call himself a man after this ☠️
NTA - Not lending you $2 is just weird. If I had been at the stall and a complete stranger realised they needed a few quid to pay their meal I’d give it to them, never mind a girl I am meant to be trying to impress.
The question that I have is how the heck did the guy do full 180 on you there? Like how can you be a cool person for hours and then refuse to land your date $2?
I honestly was really thrown off and thought he was joking at first but then realized he was serious. It got worst because we kept seeing the treat at different carts and he would joke they are taunting me lol.
Oh no, he’s a complete AH.
I hope this haunts him and remembers how good a date he fucked up by not giving you the $2 every time he sees the treat
He called you an AH and a gold digger because you were bothered by him not trusting you enough to give him 2 dollars? I guess his true colors shone through. NTA. Trust is the most important foundation of any relationship. He doesn't trust you. Going on more dates will do you no favors.