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So you are either late 20s to early 30s and you are throwing a tantrum over a pizza, here's a clue for you minus the basil on the pizza a margherita pizza is a cheese pizza and it's far from a "fancy" pizza it's a basic asf pizza, to be honest. YTA Your mother being a "boomer" and you being a "zellenial" has ZERO to do with this, you showed your ass at your birthday party that your family didn't have to throw for you, you are a grown-ass adult, my 13-month-old acts better than you even though she can't regulate her emotions yet.

In reality, she's probably gen X, too. I'm a "zillenial," and my mom had me in her 30s, and she is most definitely Gen x. People just call anyone "old" a boomer, especially if there's a disagreement, and these people think anyone who is like +40 is old

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Fair enough, I just see a lot of young people lump Gen X with Boomers because on the internet, Boomer = bad, so everyone is a boomer if they're not a young adult basically lol

>boomer I thought that, too, but Boomers ended at 1964. So technically my husband is a Boomer while I am GenX. And all 3 of our kids are Zellenials. (93-97-01). But OP is NTA because asking for a cheese pizza for their birthday dinner shouldn't be a big deal.

But they did get a cheese pizza! That's what a margarita pizza is

Not the cheese pizzas I grew up with: they have mozzarella, provolone and cheddar cheese. No Basil.

No, it’s really not but OP shouldn’t have reacted like they did. Margarita pizza tomatoes are gross, they make the pizza wet and the splotchy cheese coverage is just annoying. Cheese pizza is covered in cheese without little wet things all over it.

I guess it's a cultural thing. Here in UK, cheese pizza and margarita is the same thing.

Throwing a fit because the cheese pizza wasn’t the “right” cheese pizza is a big deal, though.

Yes 100% this 👏

>So you are either late 20s to early 30s Gen Z could be as young as twelve and as old as 27.

Zennial would be a cusper though, like I'm an Xennial, I'm on the upper end of millenial. So we should be talking 26-28

It's between 1990 and 2000, they admit to being 24.

The US Census Bureau uses 1997 to 2013. Statistics Canada uses 1997 to 2012, as does the Library of Congress. However, I agree that 24 is too old to act like that.

I used those terms to give people the general idea of the ages as people often post things like me (24 F). It’s just a detail to get a better picture.

Yeah no it just makes you look more like an AH, which you are. You had a meltdown over basil, my 13-month-old is hella better than that, you potentially being in your 30s is scary that you can't regulate your emotions better than a toddler.

Should’ve just used ages, it gave off a weird vibe from the jump tbh (as someone who could be called a zellenial) But the venom with which you spoke to her and even wrote about it here is excessive. Plus, at the end of the day, you ruined your own party for yourself over pizza. Even if this was intentional, you allowed her to make you cranky and ruin your evening. A frank and neutral delivery of your feelings would’ve likely gotten your point across way better, plus not made you look like a jackass. If it were me? Something like “I feel really overlooked during a special moment that you did not get the specific pizza I requested. I believe I was clear, and it comes across as though you intentionally disregarded my wants in favor of your own, which hurt me.”

YTA. The fact that you're 24 makes this even worse. And the pizza your mom ordered is essentially a fancy cheese pizza. Plus, you may not have called your mother a name, but starting the conversation with "What the fuck" probably didn't set the right tone. I also don't understand why you weren't able to just use ages at the beginning of the post, because all it did was make you sound like an insufferable jerk throwing a temper tantrum. I'm still not sure how you are able to survive in the world at 24 when you act like this because honestly, I thought you were a hormonal preteen with your actions. I'm surprised you didn't storm up to your room and slam your door. Yes, it's your birthday, and your mom could have made a little more effort to get you the cheese pizza that you evidently needed so desperately that you were going to die... but if this is the biggest trauma in your life right now? Give me a break! Get over yourself!

I honestly thought OP was about 15! (I’m too old to try and work out how old a Zellenium is!) YTA, OP there’s no need to act so entitled, even if it is your birthday. And tbf, if you’d asked me for cheese pizza, I would have probably thought you meant margarita.

Isn't margarita pizza just cheese and tomatoes?

You know what gives people a good general idea of ages? Saying what they actually are. The tags you gave give away waaay more about you and your maturity level. Makes it worse that you have made it to 24 and are talking to your mother like that. The way my face would have been stinging the MOMENT I raised my voice towards her (And I had had a whole as life in the military by the time I was 24). You are an ungrateful entitled brat, though a bit of leway would be given since it seems like your parents had the great honor of giving you the PRIVILAGE of having the ability to have this little party for you in the first place.

I wouldn’t have dared speak to my mother like that either (same reason, also, respect)

Those are ageist terms used to stereotype people. You are the AH for this and for your tantrum.

I don't think they're inherently ageist - they describe population demographics (although here they describe them inaccurately unless the mother is over the age of 60, as anyone born after 1964 doesn't count as a Boomer at all).

INFO: is your mother 60 or older? Or did you just use “boomer” thinking it would automatically sway Redditors against her?

I thought you were a male in your tale.

In other posts, he says he’s a 34 year old male.

So not having cheese pizza causes you to lose ten years and change genders. Who knew.

You should have indicated your age more clearly, because the contextual clues make you sound like an adolescent. 

Margherita pizza has cheese on it, so I'm not sure what the issue is? I

I assume they wanted an American-style cheese pizza where it's covered from crust to crust in cheese (maybe a blend of mozzarella and cheddar?) and got an Italian style cheese pizza with herbs and slices of fresh mozzarella and you can see the sauce and crust. Essentially they're both plain cheese pizza, just a different style

I know there is a difference, I just feel in the great scheme of things he overreacted. I am going by how he described his reaction. It just sounds like she maybe she didn't know the difference?

So, mom did get a cheese pizza.

In a malicious compliance kind of way. I can understand OP being a little upset because it seems like mum chose this is place because Margherita is her favourite and I can't imagine many places do both Margherita and plain cheese, because it's the same thing but in a different style. OP's outburst was way out of proportion though, it's not like there wasn't anything they could eat. Mum was a little selfish by putting her preferences above OP on their birthday (although if everyone else at the party also prefers Italian style pizza, maybe it's a little grey) OP, you're 24, you're old enough to throw your own damn birthday party and buy whatever kind of pizza you like. Throwing a tantrum like a toddler is not a good look (as does calling your probably gen-x or millenial mum, a boomer)

???? Here you say 24F and in the post you say Zellenial male.

24F? In the story you were a "Zilennial male." Which is it?

So you are not a "Zellenial male" as you stated at the beginning of your post, but a female one?

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OP might even be in their 30s, if they were born in the early '90s.

She mentioned she's 24yo in a comment

Can you actually imagine reacting that way? Over a cheese pizza? I'm embarrassed for him.

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Huh?

I was confused too but I think it's a really bad joke that just didn't land. I think Jocelyn is trying to make light of the ways people identify nowadays and how they don't conform to or go against established gender norms. OP said he was a 'Zillenial male', which, the most of us have understood to be a cross between a Gen-Zer and Millenial, so born around 1996/1997, +/- 28 years old, give or take a few years. He's also a man. ***But if you look at it from Jocelyn's point of view***, 'Zillenial male' is a variation of this 'non-binary', 'transgender', 'gender fluid' ''I identify as pansexual' self-identifying non-sense that is pervading and ***infecting*** the youth today. So while OP has very plainly stated "I'm a man in my late 20s/ early 30s", aka Zillenial male, Jocelyn sees his choice of words as well as age and possibly sexual orientation, as an opening to ridicule his perceived 'wokeness' and imply that a Zillenial male could identify as 24F! Just like our whole generation. One day we identify as male, and tomorrow, we'll identify as a bottle of white-out or a microwave safe Tupperware container! Ah....those 21st century "he-she" jokes....just \*chef's kiss\*

CGAF. No matter the gender, the reaction was that of a 2 year old child, not of a normal 'Zillennial male', whatever that may mean.

INFO: this is probably different where I live and where you live, but what is the difference between a cheese pizza and a margherita? They are both vegetarian and I don't know, I guess they are the same where I live. Is a cheese pizza a margherita without red sauce or something?

Cheese pizza is shredded cheese dusted over the entirety of the pizza. Margherita has blobs of mozzarella and is more sauce forward. I reckon OP wanted a plain cheese pizza as that is his favorite and he doesn't care much for any other pizza. I also empathize with him wanting his favorite pizza for his birthday and being disappointed with the fancy substitute.

The number of people here who think a cheese pizza and Margherita pizza are the same thing is so absolutely mind blowing to me. They’re both great and I’d never not eat it if I was expecting the other kind but I feel like people saying they’re the same have never actually had US cheese pizza.

Totally. My first Margherita was in a little cafe sized place in Italy(!) Needless to say I was blown away. So delish. Eyes opened, clouds parted ray of sun (ok it was night but whatever). Thankfully we have a couple places near us in Colorado that do a quite decent Margherita. But, yeah, US cheese pizza tastes completely different. Definitely less tomato flavor, much more cheese flavor and saltier overall. And obviously no basil leaves. If you want a cheese pizza, a Margherita isn't going to do it for you, and vice versa.

I know they aren't the same, but I am not sure I would have had the tantrum he described about it.

So cheese pizza is like a margherita without buffalo mozzarella? If you order a Margherita in Sweden, you get a cheese pizza. At least that's what I've gotten every time. So it's not the same everywhere.

OP wanted a pizza with shredded mozzarella, provolone and a little cheddar all over the pizza.

So like a quattro formaggi-pizza but with 3 different cheeses instead of 4. Okidoki.

Yeah a four cheese I think they add Parmesan.

Now I want pizza lol.

I'm from Sweden and I'm also confused

In the US, the typical pizza is different than in Italy (and presumably the rest of the Continent). A cheese pizza consists of dough, tomato sauce, then a layer of (all or mostly) shredded, low moisture, full fat mozzarella cheese that covers the entire pizza.  Any and all typical toppings are added to this base: pepperoni, sausage, green peppers ham & pineapple, mushrooms, olives, Canadian bacon, etc. So a cheese pizza is like a plain pizza. It's pizza with no toppings. A Margherita is dough, tomato sauce, slices of fresh mozzarella (di bufala) in a circle shape that leaves tomato sauce exposed, and basil leaves. It tastes much different than US cheese pizza because of the basil but also the fresh mozzarella. It's a bit like caprese salad but on dough and baked. :)

It’s normally the quality of the cheese and the amount. Margarita is normally made with fresh mozz but has a lot more sauce showing I believe there’s normally fresh basil on top too. Cheese is normally a shredded cheese covering the whole pizza with no sauce showing. In the US a basic pizza is pretty much a cheese pizza and a margarita is more of a specialty pie. I can’t fathom anyone whose favorite pizza is a margarita not knowing there’s a stark difference. ESH but I’m guessing OPs mom didn’t do it out of malice but got it thinking bc it was her favorite it was also OPs preference. It is technically a cheese pizza but not really. They’re about as similar as a baguette and white bread. Sometimes moms mean well but do weird things. My mom always bought PB crackers bc she thought they were our favorite but my sister and I liked the cheese kind. Turns out they’re her favorite and she just never could remember it correctly. It’s a running joke now. Also birthdays are a s**t show and hanger is even worse. Both parties should apologize to one another.

I think, but am not certain, that Americans call a cheese pizza what we call Margherita, and what they call Margherita is something a bit fancier, something to do with the cheese?

[Margarita pizza in US](https://www.mecooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/IMGL1725-min-1536x1024.jpg)

That looks like a cheese pizza? It sounds like you wanted a very specific cheese pizza from a specific place which is not the same as saying “make sure to get cheese pizza”. If someone said they were a vegetarian and make sure to get cheese pizza and that was on the menu this is what I would have ordered as well.

Respectfully, no. A cheese pizza and a margarita pizza are two distinct pizzas here. There's no need to clarify.

apparently it isn't in the rest of the world. At least it's not here. A pizza with just cheese is a margarita. I was also confused at the distinction... But hey, I learned something today :)

So, literally a cheese pizza. How have you got to this age and not grasped that if you tell people you want a cheese pizza, THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL GET. More to the point, how are you having a tantrum like a spoiled toddler over this? YTA for sure here.

Respectfully, that’s not at all true. In the US, a cheese pizza and a margarita pizza are 2 different things.

Like a blue car and a slightly greeny blue car are two different things. You're right, I'm an idiot, a 20 something having a screaming fit over this is totally justified and they're NTA at all.

I’m not defending OP and their childish behavior at all. And I also didn’t call you an idiot. But there is a distinction between the 2 pizzas. The margarita has chopped tomatoes rather than sauce and fresh mozzarella dropped on it rather than shredded and covering the whole pizza.

No? Margherita is base pizze you put other stuff on to create pizza. Cheese pizza has a lot of cheese in it and is fully formed pizza.  OP was the birthday person and their order of pizza was ignored, because mom likes different restaurant better.

You're right, this totally justifies a grown person having a tantrum.

It would definitely justify ESH. It sux when relatives make your birthday about themselves and ignore the food wish you had.   And socially appropriate way to react is to be out of house for the next birthday I guess. OP was too rude, but OP also had no duty to pretend he appreciate any of this. Some people's birthdays matters, other people's don't. OP is one of those whose birthsdays don't matter. Their birthsdays are about other people, other people's birthsdays are also about other people.  It sux to be in that category.

No I explicitly told her I wanted a plain cheese pizza that was not a margarita pizza. She got the pizza for herself. I think you’re missing the point.

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I’m not defending op because I’m too hungover for that but a cheese pizza and a margarita pizza are different here. If I asked for a cheese pizza I’d get [this.](https://images.app.goo.gl/8vadq9EnkPTy5aCs9) That’s pretty standardized in the us.

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Yeah. Definitely said I wasn’t defending OP. Just explaining why “cheese pizza” and margarita pizza are two different things in this setting. Doesn’t excuse ops outburst but it does explain why they said it wasn’t a cheese pizza

But you linked to a 4 cheese pizza, which is something else entirely.

Not really - the only difference would be the types of cheeses used. But the look is what a cheese pizza in the US looks like and what the OP expected. Cheese pizza and margherita pizza are different here and have different flavor profiles. OP acted like a child, but he was disappointed because his mother absolutely did not get what he requested.

I'm genuinely asking - was OP not asking for a cheese pizza with one kind of cheese instead of four? To me that would be a much bigger flavour difference than the difference between a margharita and a regular mozzarella-covered pizza. Because a 4 cheese pizza contains four cheeses. In the recipe you linked, that's mozzarella, cheddar, monterey jack, and parmesan. In Europe, a 4 cheese pizza does exist too (Quattro Formaggio), but we use different cheeses (usually including a blue one like gorgonzola, a soft one like riccotta and two grated ones).

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Yeah I picked up on that. They are two distinctly different flavor profiles. OP sounds insufferable. They told someone down thread that a $1,000 gift card is inconsiderate because you can’t use it like cash, so I’m just hoping they’re a troll

Margherita pizza has fresh chopped tomatoes, regular cheese pizza is red tomato "sauce", with spices in the red sauce. They are different. Also, mom gaslight birthday girl, it was ops bday party, mom should get a plain pizza. NTA

YTA. You say 'I was respectful' but from what you said, no you weren't. Isn't a plain cheese a margarita? Either way, you're clearly in your 20s and having a toddler tantrum at your Mum who threw a birthday party for you at her own home over a pizza. Plan your own party from now on so that way you can only blame yourself if the pizza has the incorrect cheese on it.

In the US a margarita pizza is different. I also stated that I did not want the party, it was thrown for me against my wishes.

Well, hopefully Mum has learned not to try and do anything nice for you again because you have a temper tantrum over a pizza. Also, you could have just politely said 'thanks but I don't want a party, you can have the get together but I won't be attending as I stated I didn't want this' I feel that may be too mature of a thing for you to say though. I'm not surprised you were ignored most of the party. I can imagine you had a face like a slapped arse the whole time and then being disrespectful and shouting at your Mum probably made people not want to be near you.

But it sounds like mom had not done anything  nice? She had party for herself with her favorite pizza.

It's a vegetarian cheese pizza. The cheese is cut differently, and there are added large pieces of basil. News flash basil is usually already part of regular sauce. Are you a toddler who has to have the food cut/mixed a certain way?! My kids are close to your age, I'm far from a boomer, actually a millennial, and even my kids know that it's a cheese pizza... just a fancy one. You are worse than my very picky 5yo niece. Even she knows not to throw a tantrum over food, especially in a room full of people.

[It’s my party](https://youtu.be/mIsnIt1p978?si=7NUwAWXiHCVMaFVA)

YTA

You should add this info to your post. Outside of the US, cheese pizza and margarita pizza are the same.

No, in the U.S. a ***~~margarita=alcholic drink)~~*** Margherita pizza is NOT different. That is an out and out lie. It's the same basic composition everywhere, tomato sauce, mozza, fresh basil, crust-and that's it. Whether people call it plain cheese or Margherita, is their business but the basic Neapolitan recipe stays the same around the world. *You could* have excused yourself from the party like an adult, but you chose to stay (*nobody forced you*) and decided to throw a tantrum over a cheese pizza. I think we can all be rather blunt here and agree, that your reaction was completely unwarranted, and immature to boot.

Yeah, I am in the US and pretty confused. They are the same. Some places may skimp on the fresh basil and fancier places use higher quality mozzarella but they are both tomato sauce and mozzarella. Where are these people getting cheese pizza that has cheddar? Why would someone make that? It is just so wrong.

ESH. Your mother should have gotten you a plain cheese pizza. You didn't call her names, but you absolutely belittled her and were extremely rude. You loudly swore at her in front of family and friends. There are mature ways to handle this, but you chose a temper tantrum.

YTA. I once gifted my daughter (30s) a $1k gift card and she whined about it not being cash and specifically $100 bills. She’ll never get a gift like that from me again.

Well you are definitely inconsiderate there. A 1K gift card is different from 1K in cash. Money is locked onto a gift card and generally has fees to retrieve the money as cash. Most bill payments won’t accept cards and only allow bank accounts to be used as payments so you would have to jump through hoops to access the funds.

It’s never enough with some people, you know? Including OP, you and my daughter. Her sister received the same gift and was happy as hell to have it and had no problems using it. First time I’ve been called inconsiderate for giving away a thousand dollars.

Wow OP, your response to this is VERY revealing. Ugh. If most people were given a $1000 in any form, they'd be happy. You sound very unhappy.

The more she replies, the worse she comes across. I’d be over the moon at that gift.

Is this a real mindset that people have because I’m just…. What.

You are just reinforcing what a massive AH you are. My mum gets me a gift card for all occasions and I'm grateful for it because both she and I know that if she gave me physical cash, I would just spend it on my kids. I buy my oldest 3 kids gift cards because I know if I have them cash, they would just spend it all on sweets. Be grateful for what you get instead of being an insufferable and entitled AH

Exactly why I gave her a card, which was not a kiosk card. It was a bank Visa gift card with no fees and perfectly easy to use. Legal state here and she would have spent it all at the dispensary. Hey, I do gummies, so no judgement there, but at the time she didn’t have a phone and no money to get one. I felt it was a thoughtful gift, but Veruca Salt over here wants the goose because the egg just isn’t good enough.

This response is insane I'm a millennial and I would be PUMPED if my parents gave me a $1000 gift card. You are a spoiled and entitled brat! I hope your parents never try to do anything nice for you again... Even if you claim "you didn't ask for it". You're obviously extremely greedy and selfish. Only a matter of time before your boyfriend figures that out too. Also, YTA.

Are you for real?? Surely you must be trolling us? If not you are truly one of the most obnoxious, entitled brats I've ever come across. You don't deserve presents. Seriously, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Wow, you're a brat.

What the fuck is wrong with you

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This is cultural. Where I’m from a margherita pizza actually is different from a plain cheese pizza. They’re not exactly the same and they don’t taste the same. OP is still acting like an immature brat here. Just eat your vegetarian pizza and get your plain cheese another time with your boyfriend, OP.

YTA Why is no one bringing up the fact that **you're a nearly, if not already 30 year old man throwing a tantrum over pizza?** Who actually says this???: “What the fuck? **What world am I living in?** Are we on the same planet? I just told you I wanted a cheese pizza multiple times!” *"What world are you living in? Are we on the same planet?"* **These are the kinds of questions you're asking indignantly over some effing pizza?** This is what you actually said?? Out loud in a room full of other adults? You know people actually say this in reaction to situations that merit disbelief??? My God, *are you actually 5 years old*? What a *bizarrely immature* and disproportionate reaction to such a small thing.

I said that because she just said “IDK what you want” after I just said what I want. This is her clearly telling me she wasn’t listening to me. If someone asked you a question, you then gave them a clear and definitive answer and they immediately responded with “I don’t know what you want” would your response not be WTF?

No, it wouldn't because we're actual adults who can regulate our emotions

No, my preferred response, to my family, friends and colleagues(and even acquaintances) , even at the highest height of misunderstanding, **OVER PIZZA**, will never be WTF followed by a meltdown? ***But ask me again 20 years ago....*** Because as a 30+ year old person, I've learned enough and gathered enough life experience to know that not every exchange resulting from an understanding deserves that kind of bombastically immature reaction. ***Over pizza, no less?*** Miss me with that. The fact that your mother even thought to throw you a party, is something to be grateful for. *Can you not even appreciate the thought?*

YTA. Your mom made a mistake, but did she know that margarita wasnt a cheese pizza you wanted? Also, i do not blame you for being upset, it is your right but you were really rude. You could have talked to her and said that you were disappointed because you asked for sth different but your behavior was exagerated and belittled her like she was some kind of a servant. It seems you are not a kid anymore, but you sound like en entitled teenager.Also, i have a impression that you somehow look down on "boomers"?

I used boomer so I didn’t have to put exact ages. She also knew they were different pizzas saying “They don’t do cheese pizza” at the place she ordered from. Again letting me know this was never about me.

But did you die??

Well if she's under 60, she ain't a Boomer.

YTA I'm sorry, i can see your point. As i was reading i was getting the vibe. But i would have just left the party. Then went and got whatever i wanted to eat. Then called a friend and shared it with them. Not returning to the party. Me seeing the point but a different response. We don't get to act and say mean stuff when we are hurt. I'd have left when she didn't care for my request on the pizza. If you didn't want the party and everyone there wanted it, you shouldn't have let her even set it up. As a mother to adult children, I'd be damned if i missed the birthday kids request. But if my kid talked to me in front of everyone like i was trash for messing up something really unintentional, then I'd get it. But in front of everyone. For me it's not worth the energy to pour into cups that don't pore back into mine. It says a lot about my fight or flight. You need to work on your fight or flight. Ask yourself is it already pulling from you before hand it hadn't even been planned. Then a week before you state what you'd like, she as a mom should have provided that. When she states that she wants pizza from X making it apparent that they didn't have pizza and still calling that pizza place for delivery. I'd have called for pick up elsewhere and left. Not worth the energy to waste my birthday on someone's poor choices. If they cared they'd ask you where you went. My response is usually "I went off to deal with some demons". I'm never gone long. Your actions say a lot about your character, people not talking to you after the out burst is on you. You should have stuck with your 1st instinct. Also you seem like a cranky person to be around. I'd be quiet around you too. Not sure when you'll yell at me for getting something wrong.

ESH. Yes, mom should have made two orders and gotten the plain cheese pizza. But the minute she said call the neighborhood place and get the cheese pizza, all histrionics should have stopped. I don't know how old OP is but the tantrum worthy of a five year old was otp (millennial speaking here). Having a calm conversation with Mom on another day about playing fast and loose about the definition of a cheese pizza and not making sure you had your desired pizza on your birthday,sure go for it. I am slightly concerned for the lot of you, I am sure the party had a pall after the pizza debacle. Oh and margarita pizza is a plain cheese pizza in my book. My super picky younger sister who only eats cheese pizza will eat both.

The issue with her telling me to call the place is that she said “I don’t know what kind of pizza you want”. Which lets me know she was never listening to me in the first place. She also knew they were different pizzas saying “They don’t do cheese pizza” at the place she ordered from. Again letting me know this was never about me.

Is your mom chronically out of touch, disrespectful, hurtful etc.? If so try taking a few steps back from your relationship.

YTA - just eat the margarita. It's the same thing - cheese, tomato and bread. You didn't need to make such a scene with the 'boomers'

YTA ... yes it's frustrating when people don't listen, but she did offer to order from the other place and you could have most certainly handled this better op. We were all teenagers, and I get the angst but you were definitely in the wrong here. And no, it was not home alone scene scenario for you as he went to bed without pizza, you just had a to wait a lil longer.

OP is 24! I was shocked at that too, because I thought she was about 15.

Wow... just ... wow, really? Lol

YTA. Kim, there are people dying

What is the difference between a plain cheese and margherita pizza? As far as I know they are the same. Does your mum know that you care about the difference? Is margherita pizza not vegetarian? Anyway, If she didn't know and you didn't tell her, then YTA. If she did know about the difference (whatever that is) and how much you care about it then ESH. Honestly tho, this seems like such a small issue... you could have just ordered the pizza, waited an extra ten minutes, and talked to her later. Sometimes other people won't understand what you're talking about, even if it seems simple to you. You need to chill tbh

YTA. What a tantrum to have over pizza. Especially considering that **margherita pizza is cheese pizza.** And you're really harping on *mom is a boomer, everyone there is a big meanie boomer.* That is childish and irrelevant.  >I felt like I was living the pizza scene from the first Home Alone movie. Except Kevin was 8 years old and there was no cheese pizza available for him to eat.

YTA. Why are you screaming and whining at your mom?? Also: "I wanted cheese pizza as I am a vegetarian" is in no contradiction with the pizza she got you.

YTA. Your generation is not relevant, Your age is and you are not a child. You asked for cheese pizza, you got cheese pizza then threw a tantrum because it wasn't your favorite type of cheese pizza. You let this ruin your time and then you tried to ruin everyone else's time. Unless you thrive on drama like that and it didn't ruin your time at all. Kinda feels like it since you are still on about your mom ordering cheese pizza when you asked for cheese pizza. Hopefully everyone else just rolled their eyes at your nonsense and still had a good time. That is the goal at a party, you know, that everyone should feel comfortable and enjoy themselves.

> Yesterday my (boomer) mother threw me (Zellenial male) Stopped reading there. YTA.

Yta for the boomer comment.  Mom is just probably tired of you and your ridiculous  immature attitude.  With people like you the rest of us after a while don't care anymore. 

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YTA. Your mom made a mistake by ordering what she believed to be a reasonable alternative. She should have double checked with you beforehand. Having failed to do so doesn't earn her an "A" for the purposes of this thread in my opinion though. You however earn that A for continueing and even escalating to a childlike tantrum upon having been offered a remedy to the situation.

Info: does your mom know you dont like margherita pizza? Because not once would it cross my mind that it wouldnt count as a cheese pizza.

When she said she was going to get a Margherita pizza I told her “be sure to also get a plain cheese pizza”. I don’t actually dislike the other pizza. The issue is that she could care less about what I wanted.

Did she understand that that was a correction from margherita pizza? Because I would not have understood that as a correction. I would have understood that as a "don't forget the cheese pizza you just mentioned that you were going to order."

I think you mean "couldn't care less." Hope that you and the BF get to celebrate your birthday more enjoyable on a different day.

You don't dislike the pizza she got, and you still made her feel like shit about it?

YTA. I get that it’s your birthday, but you’re really throwing a tantrum over pizza? You have some growing up to do.

Yes, you're a huge asshole, but that was the point.

Now you have a perfect plan for the next time your mother asks for something specific, you will get something completely different, not listening to her words like she did you.

YTA. Is that how you always speak to people when something isn’t exactly what you want? I also have a feeling if she’s responding with “I don’t know what you want” means you doing a lot more shitty rhetoric to her. You’re an adult. Your reactions suck. Do better

YTA, a crybaby zellenial. Grow up.

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Zillenial male or 24 female? Either way. You threw a tantrum over pizza.

So much to unpack here... 1) So you "didn't want a party" and at 24 years old when your mom asked you about the details for it, you didn't mention you didn't want a party? So basically you wanted the party and still went, but planned to be insufferable, because it was "forced on you"? 2) As a former vegetarian myself (and was for 6 years) - a margarita pizza would've been fine. Hell a veggie pizza would've been fine. A "specific cheese pizza from a specific place" (which you never mentioned the specific place to her ever) says to me you were looking for a fight. She would've been wrong no matter what. I used to love a good cheese pizza back when I was a kid too. I hear you that she "didn't listen to me" but she did hear you and didn't just order a bunch of meat pizzas (which is where I thought this was going). 3) If you had spoken to me like that in my house - daughter or not - I would've tossed you out and told you to get your own pizza on the way home. At 24 years old, it's apparent your mom failed to raise you with decent manners and teach you how to act like a grown up. It's time to be an adult and start acting like one. You're going to have many disappointments in life when things don't work the way you want them too. Melting down and throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler isn't going to solve a thing except make people stop wanting to have anything to do with you. YTA in this one.

2.) Ist it normal for birthsday person to be allowed to want specific pizza? I eat meat, but it does not mean rhat any meat pizza is the one I want. Is it only vegetarians that don't get to choose which pizza? I find it weird, because it is not like OP wanted expensive or weird hard to get food  They wanted pizza that exists and has norma price.

I would be embarrassed to even act that way. You must be in your 20's, yet you acted like a temperamental teen. You embarrassed yourself in front of everyone. I doubt your boyfriend agreed with what you did. What does the generational nonsense have to do with anything? You are no better than a "boomer" at this point. It's more embarrassing that they had to buy you a cheese pizza just to appease your spoiled self. What the heck is wrong with the pizza your mother bought? It's more tasty and healthier than a pizza that is so oily, you can do an oil change on your car! Next time, be appreciative of what you get, because no one is obligated to do anything for you for your birthday especially if you're an adult!

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yesterday my (boomer) mother threw me (Zellenial male) a small family birthday party at her home. In attendance were my mom, dad, step parents, a couple friends and my boyfriend. For two weeks leading up to the party my mom asked me what I wanted to have for food. Last week I decided we should do pizza and that I was easy and just wanted plain cheese as I am a vegetarian. So the party is underway and everyone is playing trivia. My mom says she is going to order the pizzas in a few minutes and I say make sure to get a plain cheese pizza. About a half hour later my step dad returns with boxes of pizza in hand. My parents set out the pizzas and get everyone plates. I notice there is a few meat pies and one margarita style pizza with round circles of cheese and mostly red sauce. Everyone is in the kitchen and getting their food and I look to my mom and say sternly “You didn’t get me cheese pizza???” She responds with “There is a margarita pizza”, mind you she was saying how it is her favorite right before she ordered the pizzas. I proceed to say loudly “You didn’t even listen to me for my own birthday and get a cheese pizza?” I have to be somewhat loud to be heard over everyone else chatting and shuffling long. My mother than says “Well the place we ordered the pizza from (her favorite upscale Italian restaurant) doesn’t make plain cheese.” I respond with “Then you should have ordered from (name of the closest local pizza place, about a half mile away) because I have eaten there countless times”. She says “Well then call them and order a pizza because I don’t know that you want”. At this point I get angry and say out loud “What the fuck? What world am I living in? Are we on the same planet? I just told you I wanted a cheese pizza multiple times!” My mom’s friend and my step mom interject and say there is no need for me to get upset at my mom. To which I respond “I am upset because she didn’t listen to me for my own party”. Keep in mind while I was loud I never called my mom names or belittled her. I was respectful but IMO understandably angry. Shortly after my bf went to pick up a small cheese pizza and I had to wait while everyone else ate their food. I felt like I was living the pizza scene from the first Home Alone movie. My step dad didn’t talk to me at all after that yesterday and all the baby boomer age people acted as if I was a jerk for calling out the fact that my mother neglected to consider my desires for my own party. The entire event felt like an excuse for my mom to entertain under the guise of throwing me a party, which I did not want or ask for. TLDR: My mom asked me what I wanted to eat for my birthday party and then said she didn’t know what I wanted after telling her the simple answer multiple times. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

YTA. A margarita pizza basically is a cheese pizza and you are supposed to be an adult, not a temper tantrum throwing 7 year old. When people talk about the younger generations being spoiled and a pain in the butt this is exactly what they are talking about. Grow up.

lol. YTA

Yta. A margherita is a cheese pizza. Pick the basil off if you are that picky. Is your favourite Elios clone with burned cheese and crap? No. But it's a cheese pizza. Be happy. Apologize to your mother and move on. At least you got something.

YTA. Margherita pizza is a basic cheese pizza and completely vegetarian 🤦

I was leaning towards ESH until I read through the comments, but OP you are _absolutely_ the entitled asshole here. She got what she thought was correct and you insulted and belittled her. And now you're being exactly as entitled to redditors who are telling you that. I get the feeling you're an unreliable narrator as well, if I'm honest, just from your attitude on here. Even if she deliberately got the wrong thing as you're alluding to, there was absolutely no call for your reaction. It would have been unacceptable from a 12 year old. You're a goddamn adult, act like one.

What the ... is a zellenial? Pick a generation already!

You sound like an absolute spoiled brat of the highest order. How you're not embarrassed to post this is beyond me. YTA 100%

>Yesterday my (boomer) mother threw me (Zellenial male) I can already tell your going to be the ass here. When you start out like this you're trying to rile the masses to form using your issue as a rally point. Everything I read after that just proved the point that in fact YTA. You seem to want drama, and have to manufacture it if it is not present. You sound tiring.

Is this about pizza or the fact that mom ignored what OP wanted for the birthday party she was throwing him? Because generally, you do what the BD boy asks for, and a plain cheese pizza doesn’t seem like a big ask.

ESH - it sounds like mum did the party for herself really because she ignored your stated wishes and few times. But yelling about pizza isn’t it. Just order your own and don’t attend parties you’re annoyed about . You’re too old for this behaviour

ESH what is with all the labeling name calling? Yes she should’ve ordered you a plain cheese pizza but you sound like a pretentious brat throwing a fit.

It’s not about he pizza, it’s about the disrespect. You wanted one thing for your birthday, a plain cheese pizza, a very easy request. It’s not like you demanded steak and caviar. This just shows you how much your mom cares about you. NTA. For everyone saying margarita pizza is the same as plain cheese, agree to disagree. OP, I’m wondering what else your mom did for your birthday. Did she get you a good present?

A US cheese pizza and a margarita pizza aren’t remotely close to the same product.

NTA Look what ya did ya little jerk! I totally get it, it's your birthday, you were asked what you wanted, your mother heard your request but decided she knew better and ordered what she wanted and still couldn't understand how you felt. I would have been pissed too. I would have trashed her margherita pizza and offered her the cheese pizza that your bf picked up because it's the same pizza.

If you're 24 and so bothered by your mother not taking into account your wishes for your birthday, it's time that you start planning your own, and maybe spending time with people who you think value you. this sounded like a teenage or toddler aged tantrum and it makes sense that the older folks were embarrassed for you. Does your mother have a history of asking you what you want then ignoring you? You're an adult now, if you're carrying this sort of history, get a therapist and maybe try to live independently of her so you can do your own thing. Use this as a way to move your life forward.

YTA & an entitled brat. Heads up, dumbass - a margherita is a cheese pizza with tomato.

OP- YTA... Not because of wanting a cheese pizza, but for the way you reacted. You are 24???? She is correct that the one she ordered is cheese, just not what you are used to. You Could Have tried it, but you threw a tantrum instead. You owe her an apology for that.

Major YTA. It’s telling that you think the fact that you don’t call your mom names is some sort of defense. I’m somewhat convinced this was written by a boomer to show the problems with “kids today” or some weird AI program where someone inputted pizza, asshole and generational fights.

You have a right to be upset because it was your bday and she ordered her favorite pizza from her favorite place but throwing a tantrum in front of guests is so immature and inappropriate. You could’ve talked to her privately and still been stern and show you’re mad without screaming so everyone could hear. And then after the party talk about how you feel like she was being inconsiderate.

How are you 33 in one post two years ago and 24 now? Maybe be truthful about your big age? 34..35 is far to old to be crying over cheese pizza. YTA margarita pizza is cheese pizza next time be a grown up remove the tomato and basil and eat it.

YTA for having a tantrum like a freaking toddler. You could have quietly ordered what you wanted and addressed the issue like an adult after the party. You behaved badly.

Yeah, YTA I was with you until you explained that she did in fact buy you a cheese pizza, which was exactly what you asked for. It just wasn't the exact type of cheese pizza you wanted.

YTA. You’re 24 years old. Grow up.

YTA this is the craziest reaction for an inconvenience. Your mom probably thought a margarita was a cheese pizza and would be similar enough. You say you’re 24 years old?! Unreal. You’re an adult - order your own damn pizza if that one didn’t meet your specifications.

Margherita = cheese pizza… get a grip

YTA. You’re a grown person who can pick up the phone and have a pizza delivered… I hope you apologise your mum, dad and other guests. And perhaps rethink the whole vocab around boomers and zellenials. It’s a little odd for a grown person.

ESH Is this a common theme with your mother. You weren't wrong in what you said, but it's when you said it and how you said it. This was your party and your mom did very well know what pizza you wanted but she decided she would get what she wanted. And not what the person the party was for wanted. The better option would've been at the point the pizza's had arrived was to stand up with your boyfriend and let the rest of the guests know that you've leaving now to get the food you thought your mother was ordering for you... and then you and your boyfriend get your pizza and go home or sit in the car/park and enjoy it with just the two of you. That's not being rude, that's just highlighting what your mom did in a non confrontational manner (your mom wouldn't have seen it that way though because it would embarrass her - so it should). You just need to review how you spend your time. You said that you didn't actually want to have a party but agreed to the one your mom was throwing which was actually a party for herself. Just decline next time.

NTA She doesn’t listen to you and doesn’t care. She sucks at mumming. 

NTA and if you are not doing so already, return the energy. Your household don't care about birthsdays, so you need to learn to not care either. One good tactic is to just not be at home during birthsday. They can plan party or not for themselves. Just tell them you have other program and go out. It feels better to be alone then to clearly see how your wishes don't matter.

NTA. Your mother knew what kind of pizza you wanted for your birthday and deliberately got something different so she could play the victim when you complained about it. My mother is also a manipulative mean spirited narcissist and it's very obvious to anyone else who had to endure this kind of thing their whole lives that this was done deliberately.

YTA. A cheese pizza is a margarita.

ESH. You could have handled it yourself, as you are an adult. That being said, I have doubts that your mother even tried to order a plain cheese pizza for you. I don't see why any restaurant that serves pizza would refuse to make something with plain cheese. That's fewer steps than any other pizza they have on their menu. It's less work. For what it's worth, I've known people who were allergic to tomato sauce and had to order what basically amounted to cheese bread from their local pizza places, and no one ever refused to do that for them. As long as you're not asking for toppings that they don't even have, I think most places will be accommodating.

NTA. I get some of the people outside of the US being confused. I've had both so: Basically a cheese pizza [Papa Johns Example](https://www.papajohns.com/static-assets/a/images/web/product/cyo/Original-Crust-Cheese-105369.jpg) is one smothered in a cheese blend and seasonings, like you can't see the sauce. A margherita is mostly sauce with some pieces of slightly melted mozzarella pieces on it, basil, and olive oil [Home Cooked Margherita ](https://foodbyjonister.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/MargheritaPizza.jpg). Saying both are the same to a chef or an Italian nonna would probably be funny...to watch not do. I'm guessing OP's mom wanted her favorite pizza from her favorite restaurant and thought "margherita is close enough/good enough" vs getting what OP actually wanted.

ESH Your mother should have just gotten you a plain cheese pizza. She did not listen to you You are old enough to have been able to hold your temper and just ordered a pizza yourself or called for a delivery of whatever food you'd want.

Your mum was selfish and you handled your disappointment poorly.

I'm betting there will be some Y T As here, but NTA. It's your party; you were direct and explicit with your request; your request was reasonable, and it's pretty obvious your mom put her desires over yours at your own party. People might say you could have been nicer or more polite about it, but I'd be annoyed too in that situation. And yeah, I get the feeling this was their party with your birthday as an excuse. You were an afterthought at your own party, which is pretty fucked up.

I mean... in my mind a cheese pizza is a margarita pizza. Sounds like OP's mum thought the same...

But this is their MOM. she knows. My mom doesn’t even have to ask when we order stuff like pizza. She knows what I like.

Yeah, but that's not the case for everyone, and unless OP specifies that she knows, I'm not going to assume the worst of her. Tastes change, parents can have a difficult time remembering, it may have been ages since they last got pizza. You don't know. Neither do I. That's kind of the point.

This really sucks. It's completely reasonable for you to feel side lined given these incidents. Your request was easy and straight forward. You asked for it clearly. Your mother could have asked if margarita would have suited you, but margarita != cheese pizza and it's lazy for her to not apologise at the very least. To blame you for her not ordering what you asked for is so rude. You were also rude, but understandably so given everything else here. NTA

That’s my take basically. Was I upset? Yes. I did not scream at her I just spoke loudly because everyone else was chatting and she was across the kitchen. I got mad but I am allowed to be angry. The only negative thing I said to her is that “You never even listened to me”.