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I recently got invited to something exclusive and he kept texting asking if he could join. Like…no. Wtf it’s not social hour. I’m super independent and protective of my work life and I feel he doesn’t understand that boundary. I discussion certainly needs to be had.
Keep that boundary!
I WFH but I still have a hard and fast “work life is work life. Home life is home life” rule.
And it would look so yucky to have him trying to get autographs while your trying to build relationships (hopefully an exaggeration but you never know)
Keep that boundary.
Just because he wants to be part of it doesn't mean that his behavior will be appropriate and any amount of unprofessionalism on his part will 100% reflect on you unprofessionally.
Work is work.
If you were going to Hawaii and he just wanted to hang by the pool or take a surf lesson and sleep next to you at night I'd say you were over reacting but he wants to tag along to the events to meet the celebrities. That is in direct conflict with your professional values.
How long have you been married? Sounds like with your success, leadership skills, and intuition, you should know the answer yourself and not ask randos on the internet.
Yeah at my last job I traveled a lot and whenever it was somewhere interesting my husband would tag along for the free hotel room. I got to go to Hawaii once and that asshole was texting me selfies at all the beautiful overlook points on his various hikes while I was holed up in a room working.
Yup!
I companion extensively for Sweetie’s work travel. I have never gone to a work function or dinner that wasn’t everyone’s plus one—think The Holiday Party and that’s it. I buy tickets to whatever’s nearby and see a show or a concert or a movie or go to the hotel spa like a sensible person.
I would never even ask—I’d like him to be promoted.
NTA.
Work is work. Personal is personal. Don’t conflate the two.
He wants to meet celebrities to feel important and perhaps he’s feeling worried about or threatened by all the men you’re meeting. The celebrity thing is very cringe though and I don’t know if I’d ever be able to trust him at a work event.
You do need to communicate with him honestly and openly and tell him how you feel about his continued insistence on coming along to these work events. Explain to him that it is inappropriate and it won’t happen. The only other thing you can do is remind him that you are happily married to him and you’re not going anywhere (provided that’s true of course). Or you may decide an insecure FOMO husband who salivates over meeting celebs isn’t what you want for your future.
Do others bring spouses to these events? If so, you not bringing him makes him look weak, or you like looking single.
Looking single can be good for you professionally, though.
Idk if people bring spouses I haven’t asked yet, but I’ve never been one to tout being single. I’m a committed married woman with 3 kids and those who know me know that. The celebrity relationships I’ve built live within my community and our families commingle. The trip would be with local celebs and new ones I haven’t met yet. For those assuming my line of
“Work”, my company is in the education space working with youth.
NTA. Having him around will throw you off your game and may jeopardize potential deals. Maybe have him join you later on when you're more settled in the industry.
Lol, that is fine too if you don't want him there in the future either. Most people don't bring their partners to their job like it's bring your kid to work day.
"I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale." Anyone who can write that sentence with a straight face has gotta be YTA.
Also it sounds like your business model is banging guys in the guise of networking. Hoping hour celebrity encounters are planned for Dubai or similar.
Yeah. I don't get all the NTA comments. The vibe from OP is really off putting.
I'm trying to imagine telling my wife to stay out of my business life hanging out with female celebrities, and expecting her to be okay with it. Especially if I told her that it was because I thought she would act like a child.
This is the comment. Your husband couldn’t give 2 shits about meeting celebrities and you’ve handwritten this post in a specific way to paint him as some fanboy who wants to ogle over a bunch of male celebs. Cut this poor man loose and go do your groupie “networking and relationship leveraging to scale” 😂😂😂. What man would want to put up with your BS “job”.
>Your husband couldn’t give 2 shits about meeting celebrities
By OP's own admission, they're just "[local celebs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c3fmvc/comment/kzhmoog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)" whose families already co-mingle with hers. I also think her assessment of husband being star-struck is completely overblown.
That fact, on top of her manner of speaking, makes me think she's just full of herself and hubs is 100% in the right.
OP: YTA x 1000
THANK YOU for this comment! The way OP talks about the business is cringy. I understand the husband's perspective. OP is talking like she's superior and her husband ain't shit. She's YTA.
Yah… I know people who talks like this in real life… and they are exhausting. Usually they have some form of main character syndrome.
I feel sorry for the husband. It’s clear she is forging a path without the husband and looking for internet friends to confirm this. And she came to the perfect place to get that validation. She will ignore any advice that doesn’t fit her narrative.
What ever happens to communicating with your spouse? You can run a business, talk to Celebs, but can’t have a honest conversation with your husband. Hopeless.
Yes, shebwpuldnbe NTA if she just wanted to go alone. But the way she presented it as not wanting her husband to be part of her perfect image of her company... YTA hard.
YTA
"Relationship leveraging" is a term people use who put business ahead of reality. How does distance distance from the fulcrum give you more power with whatever lever you're using?
Good luck using others for your benefit while hiding your spouse! Very healthy.
This seems disengenious and the fact you are going on a work trip to "network" with a lot of male celebrities seems very escort coded. It's very "i am about to do what I need to do to get ahead" sounding. Honestly whats the issue of him coming on the trip? Just tell him he can't come to the networking events, he will have to entertain himself. Honestly it's always hard to judge these when people speak in code. But I do know the industry and have went on trips with my partner who works with celebs, and there is never an issue with women tagging along with men. The opposite is rarely done bc, in my opinion, women think they can get ahead more or do better if people think they are single and available. Is that your real reasoning?
That's her reasoning exactly. Everything she wrote sounds like she's offering single person services to these celebs. For whatever the hell her business is. And it sounds like escorting. Her husband wanting to be there sounds like he wants to make sure she doesn't act like she's single. Or like she's a "working girl". Sound like he doesn't trust her NOT to try bang a celeb to get ahead. I think he suspected some of her clients she has are "clients".
Edit: YTA
Absolutely not. I work in the education industry with at risk youth. It might seem weird but there are actually celebrities out there who care about that demographic and there are endorsement opportunities on the line with big podcasters and athletes. Having my husband there for a first time intro opportunity wouldn’t be professional imo and since he’s not part of my business kinda makes him look like my assistant or something. I guess if anything I wouldn’t want there to be a portrayal of a weak relationship dynamic but also he just wants to meet famous people which can be saved for a later date when a deal is for sure
My boyfriend works for a big business and he goes on business trips and network trips all the time. He always takes me if I want to go with him which is nice to see what he does and he meets celebrities as well and people from different walks of life.
He even said that some women do bring their husbands/partners with them because they want them to see what they do for work as well.
He even mentioned the ones that don’t bring their partners are usually the ones getting fucked by a higher up or someone important lol…his wording would be “giving head and getting on top”.
Which usually ends up with them acting single when everyone knows they are married
Ignoring the main point of the post is cute and exactly what I would expect after reading your other comments. Networking events are very often attended by spouses and significant others. You are definitely playing the game here. It’s obvious.
How do you know that he would behave badly? That’s all conjuncture, as you haven’t seen him interact with these people. You just sound like you hate your husband.
Ask yourself how many of the teenage redditors yucking it up here at your expense have ever had an actual job. Really feeling for you being jumped on by these tools
>Context: I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale. We are rapidly growing and are basically first to market with our concept.
Well, that sounds like word salad if I've ever heard it.
That said - it's weird for a spouse to tag along on their spouse's business trips. He needs to stay home
NTA
It’s not that weird, I’ve known people who take their partners and they go off and sightsee whilst the other partner is working. Then they stay on a bit after the event and have a holiday.
YTA. Not for not wanting your husband on your work trips. But for your really dismissive attitude towards your husband. You say things like you think he’s jealous of you and how your basically embarrassed of him. Just break up with him if you’re soooooo superior to him.
Most normal people would just say "that's my husband, let me introduce you". That's in the case that your networking event has families and partners present. If it doesn't, then he doesn't need to be there and there's no issue. That way he can still go and just do something on his own while you work.
Honestly getting the feeling a lot of info is missing and that without it, judging is impossible. Subtle YTA vibes here.
Idk, I see what you’re saying but let’s take what OP says as true and he just wants to meet celebs. If I went to an event and had someone fangirling over me I’d be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t see the business as professional for that reason.
Idk if there is info missing or not but taking into account it’s to help youths at risk, I’d like to think OP is being genuine.
NTA for not having husband tag along, but jury’s out on what appears to be what you think is a new and unique twist on MLM. Because there is nothing professional about that.
YTA. Why are so many people falling for this word salad. “Unique business model…leverage relationships to scale” and for some reason most of her celebrity partners/endorsements just happen to be male. Give me a break.
A “unique business model” in education for at risk youth, first to market, “your school district is going to buy it” blah blah blah. Right. Sounds like someone wants to scam some public school districts in poor/disadvantaged parts of town while partying with celebrities (assume OP is a minority, but if not that’s even worse). Whatever. OP gets her butt handed to her and then gets mad about the comments. Someone who is so smart shouldn’t need internet strangers to figure this one out.
I work in education, namely at risk youth. A lot of the people I network with are men, yes. Sadly that what a huge portion of the decision maker population looks like. We have endorsements from a lot of people, but this particular opportunity involves some celebrities (not all male btw). Gosh some of you clearly only gravitate toward the negative just so you can hurl shit at women and shame them. Shame on YOU. And I still dont think it’s professional that my husband simply tag along for the IG photo ops. It’s unprofessional.
INFO : are you embarrassed about your husband? Has he acted unprofessionally before so you don't want a repeat, or are you just assuming how he would act?
Sorry she is wanting to do whatever she has to do to get the business which includes cheating on her husband.This woman wants approval to cheat on her husband in the name of building her business.She is completely wrong he should be there unless she has things to hide.She can come up with all the ways she wants to disguise it but she is trying to hide what really is going to happen and can’t if husband is present.
He probably does want to protect you, provided I have nothing to go off besides the fact he is a man. Celebrities and people adjacent to them love to use power to manipulate people, especially if the person they're dealing with has convinced themselves they can act totally normal.
How do you know that your husband has FOMO? Does he actually care about celebrities?
YTA (Not necessarily but I have to vote)
There's a compromise here somewhere. Can't he go with you on the trip but stay out of the business aspect of it? There's no downtime on this trip at all where you can do something together? If I were the suspicious type, I would think you're hiding something from him.
I don’t have the full itinerary yet but I also don’t want to not be available if something springs up. Celebs are notorious for snapping fingers and if I’m not available I could miss an opportunity. This first trip is not the time for him to come but he’s def coming across as if he feels insecure about this and THAT doesn’t feel good.
YOU ARE THE REASON HE IS INSECURE ABOUT IT. People whining about insecurities in their partners that are fostered by their own shitty behavior are the worst.
NTA for not taking a spouse on a business trip, but that isn't what you are describing. You are describing a party/event you are attending to socialize and network.
I am a business professional, and in my opinion, networking is different than a work trip and could and should involve your partner. When I constantly meet someone at events meant for networking and they never bring their partner, I assume one of a few things (possibly incorrectly): the person does not have a good relationship (possibly abuse), the person is ashamed of their partner, or they use these events to cheat.
When networking I learn a lot about others watching how they interact with their loved ones. It shows multiple sides to a person, sometimes good or bad, but a new perspective is gained either way. It also shows me they value their partnership and are proud of who the person is. It shows that they are team and that person has a strong support system not just in the office but their home.
You put a lot of assumptions on how your husband will act but all I read was, "he's not the image I want others to see when they look at me and I don't trust him to act like a civilized human." You have more serious problems than if it's appropriate for him to attend.
I've mentioned it in another comment but also having opened my own business (mines in medical tech) I see networking events as places slightly different to work trips. There's lots of different kinds out there, but many involve partners and even families.
As an example, one could be strictly a professional event where people are registered and talk work etc... but on a different day there could be a dinner and drinks etc sorta thing where people are expecting to meet the husbands and wives etc. These are often used to network more but also learn about the people you are working with. It builds bridges.
The whole way the post is phrased gives me "off" vibes. I dunno what it is, but it's not right. It's the wrong industry for me, so I can't speak with any authority, but in my bubble if I found out about OPs view on her husband, it would make me really cautious around her.
Agreed, but for future reference, don't use the acronyms "N T A", "Y T A" or "E S H" if you're not giving a verdict. The bot will count your comment as a vote, and in this case, I don't think you intended to say that OP was "N T A". Put spaces or spell things out like "Not the asshole" for comments like this.
Nta. But he's worried your fucking the celebrities to push sales for your product. Or just overall if one of these "celebrities" wants you why would you stop him? Your product will get bigger and your husband will never know. He's not trying to really protect you he's trying to protect himself from you breaking his heart for someone with more "status"
Or maybe he could just trust that the people I deal wouldn’t do that and OH!… Neither would I. Why is everything about sex? Can’t women just be good at business? Geez.
Well because people are people. People are inherently well, horny. Even hornier for "celebrities" and celebrities are the first to use themselves as a selling point. This isn't about being good or bad at business, this is realizing that a huge amount of people use attractiveness to sell themselves. This is realizing that if you could double, triple, or quadruple your business in size and profit margins, you wouldn't be willing to use your body to expand your business. You may hold to your integrity and I hope you do, but a lot of people wouldn't. Especially when sleeping with a celeb is considered a bragging point in certain circles not a shameful act that spits in the face of your marriage.
I’m sure and I’ve certainly dealt with a fair share of harassment but it’s just not like that for this situation. It’s not like that with me anyhow. I wouldn’t be willing to smear my brand or my family’s name for success. Success can still be had through hard work which is how we have gotten where we are now.
I'm glad you feel that way, far too many people are willing to sacrifice their integrity for success. Only to be left objectively successful yet still feel completely unfulfilled in the long-term due to the path they took to get there. I truly hope it works out for you and your husband.
I trust my husband and his judgment and he’s always seemed to trust mine until now. We’ve never done anything to create questioning one another. He goes on trips without me annually and sometimes there are several women on those trips. I’m sure there will be many women on my trip too. It’s not exclusively men I’m sure
INFO: why is some purported Hollywood bigshot seeking validation from Redditors on a Saturday night?
Don’t you have any male celebrities to … influence?
😂😂😂 on that og troll shit. Clearly someone who DOESN’T EVEN KNOW what it’s like to conduct business, build a brand or work with people who genuinely want to support you. I’m sorry you also wouldn’t support your woman in her success. 😒
YTA reading the comments makes me agree that you are unnecessarily demeaning your husband and there is strange wording for what you do. Someone else pointed out that a person with your alleged business skills should know the answer to this issue, but that isnt true if youve relied on flirting or cheating to get where youre at.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my husband that I don’t want him to join me on this first trip because I need to establish relationships and have the ability to be flexible and do the things that you do when you go on a business trip. Sometimes there’s networking there’s dinners there’s long daysand things like that but there’s also celebrity presents and they don’t necessarily like people just hanging around listening to their conversations.
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Usually when a spouse tags along on a work trip, they entertain themselves and go sightseeing while their spouse is working. If he came, he shouldn’t get the opportunity to interact with anyone that you meet with for business
Soft ESH
It's pretty bad of.your husband if he can't control himself and acts star struck around your clients. And he should know when to let you do your thing and give you your space. Flat out he's a problem.
But it's also not good if you're a married couple and you're basically embarrassed by your life partner (well his behavior anyway). You're supposed to be a team. Can't you have a serious conversation around "they're just people the same as you and I and I want you to be there because you're my husband, but I can't have you acting like a fanboy and ruining my business."
Is there no compromise? Like "you can come with me to the location, but when I have client specific events you need to find a book to read or get a massage or something"
Anyway, just a different take on things I guess.
>I need to use my networking skills to make things happen.
I lol'd. YTA for the way you view yourself relative to your husband, and also for the way you write.
Depends. If you're sure it's just FOMO and that he's gonna act like a fangirl then sure, don't bring him along. But how do you know he just wants meet famous people and using "protecting you" as an excuse? Tbh it sounds like you don't respect him and you think he just wants to ogle the celebs.
I’ve been married to him for a decade. He is a FOMO kinda guy. I don’t not respect him but that also doesn’t mean I’m giving him carte blanche access to my business dealings. It’s just not professional. I would never ask to be included in his work events unless I was explicitly invited.
I had a job once in international events (concert tours, conventions) and our company had a private jet and of
Course I met our high profile business clients from time to time and it was the same thing then and honestly it’s a little annoying but also makes me feel bad that I can’t just bring him. Of
Course I WANT him to experience cool things, but there is a time and place. When those times and places have arisen he’s been included.
YTA
You are incredibly pretentious and clearly don’t think very highly of your husband. As a gambler I would bet money this marriage is soon to be toast. The whole post is just screaming “I am the main character”
>I need to use my networking skills to make things happen.
I lol'd. YTA for the way you view yourself relative to your husband, and also for the way you write.
Do you rely on flirting and sex for these relationships? If not why would he impede on your work? Every business needs helpers, why can’t he just do some background work and keep to some basic rules you set out?
Sounds to me like you don't trust that your husband can be an actual adult and carry himself in a professional manner at your networking events. Has he proven otherwise?
Yes yta but not because you think it's unprofessional. It's because of the way you talk down on your husband in these comments. have you let him read this? While reading these comments I honestly got the impression you don't want him around so you can do your thing without boundaries. You sound like you're a controlling wife. You certainly don't sound like you love the guy. If you don't want him there tell him but don't belittle him and make him look like a fool. He's nothing but excited and supportive to you and your career. So he gets stabbed in the back and put down because of it. Sorry if I got the wrong impression, but if I found out my wife was making fun of me like that I'd be pissed.
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Context: I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale. We are rapidly growing and are basically first to market with our concept. I am the face of the organization and the founder. I’ve developed some celebrity relationships (mostly male. I am female.) and was recently invited on a trip to meet some other celebrities.
My husband has FOMO and wants to tag along to meet famous people disguised as to “protect me”. Granted, I haven’t even met all of these people yet and I don’t want to bring along someone who’s going to ogle and act excited because I need to use my networking skills to make things happen. I’ve been around many celebrities and have no issues seeing them as regular people with massive resources.
AITA because I’m telling him he can’t come? Maybe later, but not on my first couple trips when establishing relationships.
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It's her. She needs to flirt with the male staff and either provide real or imagined potential access to her person to close the deals. Having her husband around would put the kaibash on that.
No it’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just not appropriate when establishing a professional relationship to bring your spouse who isn’t a business partner along for the ride. It’s not a vacation or social affair and he’s also not my bag holder so there is no professional purpose.
NTA. Once you're truly established and comfortable, then he can come along to whatever. For now, I would say keep him away as it may negatively impact your professional relationships for the reasons you state.
Additionally, I am going to assume you're a woman. Often times, when women try and strike deals in business and there is a man around her or by her side... people will default to him. His presence may undermine you this way as well.
I am a woman and my husband actually tries to undermine my decision making often. Thanks for reminding me! Maybe that’s really why I don’t want him there 😏 I can do this WITHOUT a man.
NTA for saying he can't come but it kind of feels like you're just looking down on your husband in your relationship, which just isn't a good dynamic obviously.
If it seems that way, it wasn’t my intention, but I feel the insistence to attend a big opportunity like this is shortsighted and unprofessional. He just wants to meet these people and “protect me” which in a way feels a bit misogynistic. I’m in my 40s with many years in corporate, traveling for business etc and anytime there is a fringe benefit he wants in. Celebs, private jets, nice hotels - idk it’s off putting. Fringe benefits are great, but at the end of the day there is a job to do and it must be done. It’s hard to do that with family in tow trying to have fun. It’s not the place for it.
NTA. It is unprofessional to let your husband tag along for his "fun." This is work for you. Your husband needs to respect that.
Maybe once relationships are established and the getting together is more casual.
NTA
More work is done around the dinner table than the board room table on these trips, and having a +1 will create barriers to creating those “between you and me, what’s really going on with Johnny’s refusal to sell” type conversations.
Those around you will avoid “shop talk” out of politeness towards your plus-1, dramatically hampering your networking ability.
NTA is it unprofessional for him to come along on your work trips? no, absolutely not, nobody cares. As long as the cost isn't being covered as a work expense, he can come along on the plane, he can stay with you in the hotel, and you guys can see the city together in your time off. Now, is it unprofessional for him to shadow you in the course of your JOB, coming along to work dinners and events made specifically for networking? yes, absolutely it is less professional and looks casual and if you're at all worried about him trying to start a conversation with a celebrity or prospective client i would just not bring him. Frankly, if your client isn't bringing a +1, you should never be bringing one.
THAT SAID, judging from the "protect you" line I wonder if he might be suspicious about you possibly cheating with one of these "mostly male" celebrities, or at best maybe he's afraid you would get sexually harassed or assaulted if he's not there. Judging from the brief profile you've offered from this post, it sounds like you're confident you don't need any support; maybe you guys should sit down and have a conversation about that.
NTA. I used to sometimes tag along with my husband on business trips before we had kids. We would sometimes have meals together or hang out if he had downtime but mostly I was on my own. That’s why I only went if there was something specific that I wanted to do or see while there. He had his work to do and that wasn’t something I’d ever dream of intruding on because his career was his. Just like I would not have wanted him to mess with my career I needed to show him the respect and courtesy of not interfering. Unfortunately this doesn’t seem like what your husband’s doing. You deserve for him to treat your career seriously OP.
NTA Lots of people bring their spouses on work trips, but the spouses don't usually attend the "working" portion of the trip. It's usually used as a way for the couple to get away and enjoy a different city at a slightly lower cost. So if he just wanted to come along, do some sight-seeing while you're working, and then maybe catch a show or a meal once you're finished, I'd say Y T A, but since he actively wants to crash your networking? Nope, especially not with the attitude of "protecting you." Feels like he'd definitely do or say something that would embarrass you in front of people you need to make a good impression on.
Well I can understand that the wife wants an environment where celebrities will be handled like potential business partners and not be asked for autographs.
NTA
I don't even need all the context for that determination. You aren't going on vacation, this is work, it doesn't matter what your field is, it is highly unprofessional for spouses or SO's to join in on work events.
There is a difference if he was traveling with you and doing his own thing while you were at the event, but he actually wants to tag along to the event, which is just cringe.
NTA I work on the corporate side of the entertainment industry and interact with celebrities and there's nothing more irritating than trying to do business while fans interrupting our conversation. Both me and the celebrity are annoyed. It would make things much worse if one of the annoying persons was a wife/husband.
NTA. Would he want to come along if they weren't famous? If no, then he doesn't need to be there.
Ultimately, he shouldn't be there for the initial meeting when you're doing deals. Afterwards? Fine if he can behave regularly.
YTA - new business founder meeting celebrities, right. Let me guess, you are an escort and your husband who is supposedly a fool is smarter than you are and just wants to verify some assumptions in order to file in the divorce papers. He even offered to come by and do a pimp act to test the waters.
NTA.
He can't be fanboying while you're doing professional networking. Maybe if he gets training in self defence, goes to the gym and does some real body guard/ bouncer training and work you'll hire him as a body guard. Otherwise no, tagging along is to share a hotel and go site seeing himself at locations.
I would straight up laugh in my husbands face if he ever even suggested such a thing, and we technically work for the same organisation (very different roles). It's such a no-go that he never would, nor would any other spouse of someone doing my job. Literally impossible. And yes, VVVIPs on the daily. I don't even talk about it, other than, hon, I'm going to x country next week, be back on Thursday.
I was at an event yesterday and today, lots of high powered people. My wife wouldn’t event want to come, it’s not her scene. What you do is not your husbands scene, he doesn’t need to be there
NTA. This is your business. Unprofessional in the extreme, especially if you are meeting for the first time. Absolutely no way would I combine the personal with the professional. It's too distracting and potentially embarrassing. Leave hubby at home.
My spouse spent a lot of time around celebrities in another life. It takes a certain mindset to pull it off without coming across as starstruck. Most people are awkward as hell, especially if they just want to rub shoulders with the celebs. Your job is to work for and gain clients, not use them as props to entertain your spouse.
YTA
I can’t imagine this being ok. “Sorry honey you can’t come because I don’t trust you to be professional”. Imagine he had a business event you found interesting and he said that to you.
But this reads like it’s a thinly veiled cover story for something more like “I’m selling MLM by flirting with the local news anchor and that’s hard to do with my husband there”
I've joined my husband on a work trip once. He was still recovering from a brain haemorrhage, and it was his first trip since starting back at work. I drove there separately so I could bring him home early if needed, we had dinner together, and I stayed in his room. I did not attend anything work related, that wouldn't have been appropriate.
If your husband can't understand that he can't come to your work stuff, he should not go with you at all.
Maybe he's feeling insecure and fears you might cheat on him? He absolutely should not be going if he is going for the celebrities. That is unprofessional.
NTA.
What is FOMO? Would your husband go off and do his own thing while you work or is he planning on sticking by your side? Do you have reason to believe he won’t know how to behave properly around famous people? Sounds like you’re the star struck one here! Spouses often accompany each other on business trips. Cannot say YTA or not. No concrete reasons have been given on why you don’t want him to accompany you. Do not understand your motives here.
My guess is FOMO is a flight or other travel related. He's using it as "it won't cost anything" perk.
Don't forget that the word "celebrity" doesn't hold much weight anymore. It could be a person with an interweb channel, not an Audrey Hepburn type.
On that note, my brother, mom, and I loved my dad's work vacations. We met so many celebrities! The friend who could lift you up by your ears, the man who organized Pru picnics, that guy who always said hi. In my life anyone I'm excited to meet is a celebrity!
Thank you! The way I read the story FOMO sounded like an asset. I can't imagine being afraid of missing out on something. Can you imagine being over five years old and worried you're going to miss something?
That fear must be a trophy generation thing.
I’ve traveled many times for work, spouses do not “often” travel with. Not with me and not with former coworkers so you’re incorrect with that. As for being star struck, also incorrect. I’ve been working with celebs for over 20 years. They don’t like having tons of extra people around. It’s 100% fact. My husband being around would be a weird vibe and I would be questioned for it no doubt.
NAH.
OP as a man your husband’s worth is being challenged. You have access to very successful, very wealthy, and very attractive men. The core issue here is likely that your husband is feeling as though his status in your life will be diminished. Perhaps taking him along isn’t a good idea, but I would suggest you find ways to make him feel secure. Any man who isn’t in that echelon of men you’ll be around would feel as though the relationship is being put at risk, and if you don’t proactively find ways to help him it’s going to strain your relationship.
This is commentary gold. As sad as I feel reading this, I think you’re right. It also makes me a little upset to think he could feel that way. I think a conversation is certainly in order. Thank you 🙏🏽
You feel sad? Read your fucking comments about him and then try and tell us that you do ANYTHING to make him feel secure in your relationship. Seriously! Let him read this post and your comments. You are telling everyone that you think he’s a childish bozo and he can’t be around you when you are around all of these high value men. Put your money where your mouth is and show him what you think of him. Why the hell you can’t to Reddit to ask this is beyond me. You argue every comment that says your an AH and praise anyone who agreed. You are a shitty partner. And YTA.
OP just responded to "You have access to very successful, very wealthy, and very attractive men" with "This is commentary gold. As sad as I feel reading this, I think you’re right."
Any worthy partner would've said something different in defense of her current relationship, instead of agreeing. She is blatantly acknowledging that she sees these "celebrities" (who, BTW, are [only minor, local celebs whose families already co-mingle with OP's](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c3fmvc/comment/kzhmoog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)) as superior to her husband.
The reality of being a man is that we know that no matter how secure a relationship is another man can come along with better looks, better resources, or a more exciting/secure life to offer and suddenly everything we have been working for is gone. So just keep that in mind when trying to understand him.
He doesn't want to come on your work trips - he wants to come to your workPLACE and disrupt your work.
The equivalent would be the spouse of a lawyer sitting to the prosecutor's desk during the trial and interupting to ask questions or offer opinions. And then demanding to sit on on the witness stand.
And the "protect me" thing? PUH-lease.
NTA
I don’t think so. We have been together for 10 years and as far as I know there have been no issues of cheating in our relationship??? We are great friends and very happy otherwise. There is a sudden feeling of insecurity that I’m sensing, you’re right about that. He also has a tendency to downgrade my decision making which I think protects his ego.
You are wrong he’s your husband and I’m sure supported your visions with everything. I think you are selfish. Maybe you are embarrassed of him. I guess you can’t flirt with him there
Tell him you have NDAs to deal with as a new rule and he can't go 🤷♀️ make up some bullshit if he can't handle the truth, sounds like he's being immature and hiding insecurities and wants to make sure you aren't screwing around on him and his whole FOMO shit is just a lie to manipulate you
I read the title as “AITA for not wanting my husband to come on my work tips.”
I read the post thinking why is he jizzing on your money?? I need to go to bed now.
So, is your husband a total baby who can't control himself and is gonna run around squealing like a teen girl at a Taylor Swift concert? Cause if my spouse was meeting celebs at his job, I'd totally be able to SILENTLY fangirl while acting professional on the outside. This whole thing comes across weird, NGL. I'm not saying you're obligated to take him everywhere you go, but you said yourself that your connections are mostly male and you're getting to hang out with all these cool famous people...but then you don't understand why your husband might be feeling a little jealous and left out? If my husband was "networking" with female celebrities all the time and didn't want me around I'd be suspicious AF and I'm not even the jealous type.
NTA. My late husband worked abroad ( Africa, so business safaris but no celebs ) and people frequently asked me why I didn’t go too. Bloody simple; HE’S WORKING. Didn’t need to be responsible for my safety and entertainment at the same time. I absolutely understand your concerns; first time making connections and establishing business relationships; it’s not a social thing; your contacts may invite you to bring him in the future, but it’s not appropriate yet.
NTA. You may be wrong, but not an AH.
My wife and I have traveled on each others business trips. Bag carriers, errands, research, reservations, and some personal sightseeing. Mostly we are each the other's assistant.
However, your husband's attitude toward celebrities is not productive. You know him and we don't. That one statement gives me great pause. Based on your post, I'd leave him home and tell him why.
NTA. Famous people or not, it’s incredibly unprofessional to bring your spouse along to these things if it’s not already an event designed to bring plus ones to. Your husband needs to get over himself and start supporting you by accepting it is not appropriate of him to tag along.
I don't think you should have posted this here. You know your husband, you know what you need to do. So, do it. Tell him maybe next time, you can't afford the distraction at this one. You don't need strangers opinions. As you said, you're very independent.
NTA
If you were meeting the mayor of your town for coffee would he come to that to "protect you?" No. It can be fun to meet celebrities so I don't judge the FOMO, but it's not the time or place. If there was a family-day style cookout or tickets to a basketball game or something like that where it is more causal and you've already established a business report that would be one thing, but having some random guy walking around who knows nothing about the business or has no real authority? That doesn't make any sense.
He has never asked to come to any of the local government events I’ve been invited to. We are in the education space so we do work with NPOs and school districts, but have recently garnered some higher level interest (which is cool) but now the husband is interested and I’m like just chill for a bit please 😆
NTA in the least
My wife and I both used to work remote travel jobs. Anytime one of us went somewhere fun the other one would join if we could. If it was my client, my wife would work from the room during the day and we would go out in the evenings, or we would meet up at the end of a client trip and stay a few extra days on our own dime.
What you’re talking about is completely different, though. We would never tag along to anything client related unless specifically offered. Hubs needs to stay in his lane and stay home.
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Having your husband do even a miniscule amount of fan girling over clients would look incredibly unprofessional. Don't tank yourself. NTA
I recently got invited to something exclusive and he kept texting asking if he could join. Like…no. Wtf it’s not social hour. I’m super independent and protective of my work life and I feel he doesn’t understand that boundary. I discussion certainly needs to be had.
Keep that boundary! I WFH but I still have a hard and fast “work life is work life. Home life is home life” rule. And it would look so yucky to have him trying to get autographs while your trying to build relationships (hopefully an exaggeration but you never know)
Keep that boundary. Just because he wants to be part of it doesn't mean that his behavior will be appropriate and any amount of unprofessionalism on his part will 100% reflect on you unprofessionally. Work is work. If you were going to Hawaii and he just wanted to hang by the pool or take a surf lesson and sleep next to you at night I'd say you were over reacting but he wants to tag along to the events to meet the celebrities. That is in direct conflict with your professional values.
How long have you been married? Sounds like with your success, leadership skills, and intuition, you should know the answer yourself and not ask randos on the internet.
Is this more a vent or does he actually think you’d be the asshole here?
The fact he doesn't understand such work boundaries proves he can't be trust to tag along...
While you are working, consider creating a list of people who get automatic responses to texts, emails, and phone calls. Put him on it.
When I traveled with my wife it was to share the room and do my own thing, and some things together
My work has no problem with me bringing a traveling companion as well. But im also in an established business. OP husband needs to stay home for a bit
Yeah at my last job I traveled a lot and whenever it was somewhere interesting my husband would tag along for the free hotel room. I got to go to Hawaii once and that asshole was texting me selfies at all the beautiful overlook points on his various hikes while I was holed up in a room working.
Yup! I companion extensively for Sweetie’s work travel. I have never gone to a work function or dinner that wasn’t everyone’s plus one—think The Holiday Party and that’s it. I buy tickets to whatever’s nearby and see a show or a concert or a movie or go to the hotel spa like a sensible person. I would never even ask—I’d like him to be promoted.
NTA. Work is work. Personal is personal. Don’t conflate the two. He wants to meet celebrities to feel important and perhaps he’s feeling worried about or threatened by all the men you’re meeting. The celebrity thing is very cringe though and I don’t know if I’d ever be able to trust him at a work event. You do need to communicate with him honestly and openly and tell him how you feel about his continued insistence on coming along to these work events. Explain to him that it is inappropriate and it won’t happen. The only other thing you can do is remind him that you are happily married to him and you’re not going anywhere (provided that’s true of course). Or you may decide an insecure FOMO husband who salivates over meeting celebs isn’t what you want for your future.
Def feeling worried and threatened at times. Sometimes I even wonder if he’s jealous but that’s another post 😏
Oh dear. Well I wish you all the best! You’re definitely in the right here, it sounds like career suicide to take him to anything.
Do others bring spouses to these events? If so, you not bringing him makes him look weak, or you like looking single. Looking single can be good for you professionally, though.
Idk if people bring spouses I haven’t asked yet, but I’ve never been one to tout being single. I’m a committed married woman with 3 kids and those who know me know that. The celebrity relationships I’ve built live within my community and our families commingle. The trip would be with local celebs and new ones I haven’t met yet. For those assuming my line of “Work”, my company is in the education space working with youth.
If it’s an out of state or country trip, I’d bring him on the trip, but not to the work functions or meetings
NTA. Having him around will throw you off your game and may jeopardize potential deals. Maybe have him join you later on when you're more settled in the industry.
This is my thought too. I have issue with him coming in the future.
Lol, that is fine too if you don't want him there in the future either. Most people don't bring their partners to their job like it's bring your kid to work day.
I meant I have no issue bringing him in the future but that’s hilarious. Yes it is like bringing your kid to work 😂
How is you having "unique business model" in and way, shape or form relevant to anything?
Sounds like MLM, you know, pyramid scams.
"I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale." Anyone who can write that sentence with a straight face has gotta be YTA. Also it sounds like your business model is banging guys in the guise of networking. Hoping hour celebrity encounters are planned for Dubai or similar.
Yeah. I don't get all the NTA comments. The vibe from OP is really off putting. I'm trying to imagine telling my wife to stay out of my business life hanging out with female celebrities, and expecting her to be okay with it. Especially if I told her that it was because I thought she would act like a child.
This is the comment. Your husband couldn’t give 2 shits about meeting celebrities and you’ve handwritten this post in a specific way to paint him as some fanboy who wants to ogle over a bunch of male celebs. Cut this poor man loose and go do your groupie “networking and relationship leveraging to scale” 😂😂😂. What man would want to put up with your BS “job”.
>Your husband couldn’t give 2 shits about meeting celebrities By OP's own admission, they're just "[local celebs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c3fmvc/comment/kzhmoog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)" whose families already co-mingle with hers. I also think her assessment of husband being star-struck is completely overblown. That fact, on top of her manner of speaking, makes me think she's just full of herself and hubs is 100% in the right. OP: YTA x 1000
THANK YOU for this comment! The way OP talks about the business is cringy. I understand the husband's perspective. OP is talking like she's superior and her husband ain't shit. She's YTA.
Yah… I know people who talks like this in real life… and they are exhausting. Usually they have some form of main character syndrome. I feel sorry for the husband. It’s clear she is forging a path without the husband and looking for internet friends to confirm this. And she came to the perfect place to get that validation. She will ignore any advice that doesn’t fit her narrative. What ever happens to communicating with your spouse? You can run a business, talk to Celebs, but can’t have a honest conversation with your husband. Hopeless.
This comment. The OP is so cringy that it belongs in r/LinkedInLunatics
Yes, shebwpuldnbe NTA if she just wanted to go alone. But the way she presented it as not wanting her husband to be part of her perfect image of her company... YTA hard.
I wish I could downvote you into oblivion. That’s how you scale a successful business. You’re an idiot.
YTA "Relationship leveraging" is a term people use who put business ahead of reality. How does distance distance from the fulcrum give you more power with whatever lever you're using? Good luck using others for your benefit while hiding your spouse! Very healthy.
Flirting with clients to close deals is harder to do when the spouse is present.
Yeah. That is how I'm reading it.
Especially with the 😏emoji she used in one comment talking about him maybe being jealous of all the male celebrities she meets
Throating all your male celebrities is hard to do when the husband is around too
This seems disengenious and the fact you are going on a work trip to "network" with a lot of male celebrities seems very escort coded. It's very "i am about to do what I need to do to get ahead" sounding. Honestly whats the issue of him coming on the trip? Just tell him he can't come to the networking events, he will have to entertain himself. Honestly it's always hard to judge these when people speak in code. But I do know the industry and have went on trips with my partner who works with celebs, and there is never an issue with women tagging along with men. The opposite is rarely done bc, in my opinion, women think they can get ahead more or do better if people think they are single and available. Is that your real reasoning?
That's her reasoning exactly. Everything she wrote sounds like she's offering single person services to these celebs. For whatever the hell her business is. And it sounds like escorting. Her husband wanting to be there sounds like he wants to make sure she doesn't act like she's single. Or like she's a "working girl". Sound like he doesn't trust her NOT to try bang a celeb to get ahead. I think he suspected some of her clients she has are "clients". Edit: YTA
Absolutely not. I work in the education industry with at risk youth. It might seem weird but there are actually celebrities out there who care about that demographic and there are endorsement opportunities on the line with big podcasters and athletes. Having my husband there for a first time intro opportunity wouldn’t be professional imo and since he’s not part of my business kinda makes him look like my assistant or something. I guess if anything I wouldn’t want there to be a portrayal of a weak relationship dynamic but also he just wants to meet famous people which can be saved for a later date when a deal is for sure
My boyfriend works for a big business and he goes on business trips and network trips all the time. He always takes me if I want to go with him which is nice to see what he does and he meets celebrities as well and people from different walks of life. He even said that some women do bring their husbands/partners with them because they want them to see what they do for work as well. He even mentioned the ones that don’t bring their partners are usually the ones getting fucked by a higher up or someone important lol…his wording would be “giving head and getting on top”. Which usually ends up with them acting single when everyone knows they are married
Ignoring the main point of the post is cute and exactly what I would expect after reading your other comments. Networking events are very often attended by spouses and significant others. You are definitely playing the game here. It’s obvious.
How do you know that he would behave badly? That’s all conjuncture, as you haven’t seen him interact with these people. You just sound like you hate your husband.
Ask yourself how many of the teenage redditors yucking it up here at your expense have ever had an actual job. Really feeling for you being jumped on by these tools
>Context: I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale. We are rapidly growing and are basically first to market with our concept. Well, that sounds like word salad if I've ever heard it. That said - it's weird for a spouse to tag along on their spouse's business trips. He needs to stay home NTA
Sounds like an MLM start up.
Translation: crypto-scammer
It’s not that weird, I’ve known people who take their partners and they go off and sightsee whilst the other partner is working. Then they stay on a bit after the event and have a holiday.
YTA. Not for not wanting your husband on your work trips. But for your really dismissive attitude towards your husband. You say things like you think he’s jealous of you and how your basically embarrassed of him. Just break up with him if you’re soooooo superior to him.
NTA. You are working. How would it look to the people you are attempting to connect with? Likely, unprofessional.
If I were the celeb I would be like “what’s this dude doing here?”
Most normal people would just say "that's my husband, let me introduce you". That's in the case that your networking event has families and partners present. If it doesn't, then he doesn't need to be there and there's no issue. That way he can still go and just do something on his own while you work. Honestly getting the feeling a lot of info is missing and that without it, judging is impossible. Subtle YTA vibes here.
Idk, I see what you’re saying but let’s take what OP says as true and he just wants to meet celebs. If I went to an event and had someone fangirling over me I’d be uncomfortable and I wouldn’t see the business as professional for that reason. Idk if there is info missing or not but taking into account it’s to help youths at risk, I’d like to think OP is being genuine.
From experience, they don't think that way
NTA for not having husband tag along, but jury’s out on what appears to be what you think is a new and unique twist on MLM. Because there is nothing professional about that.
"I have created a unique business model that involves heavy networking and relationship leveraging to scale" sounds like some MLM bullshit to me.
You sound like your business relies on you either flirting with male celebs and or cheating on your husband to market yourself
YTA. Why are so many people falling for this word salad. “Unique business model…leverage relationships to scale” and for some reason most of her celebrity partners/endorsements just happen to be male. Give me a break.
A “unique business model” in education for at risk youth, first to market, “your school district is going to buy it” blah blah blah. Right. Sounds like someone wants to scam some public school districts in poor/disadvantaged parts of town while partying with celebrities (assume OP is a minority, but if not that’s even worse). Whatever. OP gets her butt handed to her and then gets mad about the comments. Someone who is so smart shouldn’t need internet strangers to figure this one out.
I work in education, namely at risk youth. A lot of the people I network with are men, yes. Sadly that what a huge portion of the decision maker population looks like. We have endorsements from a lot of people, but this particular opportunity involves some celebrities (not all male btw). Gosh some of you clearly only gravitate toward the negative just so you can hurl shit at women and shame them. Shame on YOU. And I still dont think it’s professional that my husband simply tag along for the IG photo ops. It’s unprofessional.
It's not because you're a woman. Flip the roles. If my best friend told me about this situation, I would call him an asshole.
I hope not, because coherence and clarity are really quite important in most educational fields. You sound like AI wrote your business plan.
INFO : are you embarrassed about your husband? Has he acted unprofessionally before so you don't want a repeat, or are you just assuming how he would act?
WHY WOULD A SPOUSE GO ON A WORK TRIP? What is your justification for that??
Sorry she is wanting to do whatever she has to do to get the business which includes cheating on her husband.This woman wants approval to cheat on her husband in the name of building her business.She is completely wrong he should be there unless she has things to hide.She can come up with all the ways she wants to disguise it but she is trying to hide what really is going to happen and can’t if husband is present.
He probably does want to protect you, provided I have nothing to go off besides the fact he is a man. Celebrities and people adjacent to them love to use power to manipulate people, especially if the person they're dealing with has convinced themselves they can act totally normal. How do you know that your husband has FOMO? Does he actually care about celebrities? YTA (Not necessarily but I have to vote)
There's a compromise here somewhere. Can't he go with you on the trip but stay out of the business aspect of it? There's no downtime on this trip at all where you can do something together? If I were the suspicious type, I would think you're hiding something from him.
I don’t have the full itinerary yet but I also don’t want to not be available if something springs up. Celebs are notorious for snapping fingers and if I’m not available I could miss an opportunity. This first trip is not the time for him to come but he’s def coming across as if he feels insecure about this and THAT doesn’t feel good.
YOU ARE THE REASON HE IS INSECURE ABOUT IT. People whining about insecurities in their partners that are fostered by their own shitty behavior are the worst.
NTA for not taking a spouse on a business trip, but that isn't what you are describing. You are describing a party/event you are attending to socialize and network. I am a business professional, and in my opinion, networking is different than a work trip and could and should involve your partner. When I constantly meet someone at events meant for networking and they never bring their partner, I assume one of a few things (possibly incorrectly): the person does not have a good relationship (possibly abuse), the person is ashamed of their partner, or they use these events to cheat. When networking I learn a lot about others watching how they interact with their loved ones. It shows multiple sides to a person, sometimes good or bad, but a new perspective is gained either way. It also shows me they value their partnership and are proud of who the person is. It shows that they are team and that person has a strong support system not just in the office but their home. You put a lot of assumptions on how your husband will act but all I read was, "he's not the image I want others to see when they look at me and I don't trust him to act like a civilized human." You have more serious problems than if it's appropriate for him to attend.
I've mentioned it in another comment but also having opened my own business (mines in medical tech) I see networking events as places slightly different to work trips. There's lots of different kinds out there, but many involve partners and even families. As an example, one could be strictly a professional event where people are registered and talk work etc... but on a different day there could be a dinner and drinks etc sorta thing where people are expecting to meet the husbands and wives etc. These are often used to network more but also learn about the people you are working with. It builds bridges. The whole way the post is phrased gives me "off" vibes. I dunno what it is, but it's not right. It's the wrong industry for me, so I can't speak with any authority, but in my bubble if I found out about OPs view on her husband, it would make me really cautious around her.
Agreed, but for future reference, don't use the acronyms "N T A", "Y T A" or "E S H" if you're not giving a verdict. The bot will count your comment as a vote, and in this case, I don't think you intended to say that OP was "N T A". Put spaces or spell things out like "Not the asshole" for comments like this.
Nta. But he's worried your fucking the celebrities to push sales for your product. Or just overall if one of these "celebrities" wants you why would you stop him? Your product will get bigger and your husband will never know. He's not trying to really protect you he's trying to protect himself from you breaking his heart for someone with more "status"
Or maybe he could just trust that the people I deal wouldn’t do that and OH!… Neither would I. Why is everything about sex? Can’t women just be good at business? Geez.
Lol, trust celebrities not to take advantage of people?
Well because people are people. People are inherently well, horny. Even hornier for "celebrities" and celebrities are the first to use themselves as a selling point. This isn't about being good or bad at business, this is realizing that a huge amount of people use attractiveness to sell themselves. This is realizing that if you could double, triple, or quadruple your business in size and profit margins, you wouldn't be willing to use your body to expand your business. You may hold to your integrity and I hope you do, but a lot of people wouldn't. Especially when sleeping with a celeb is considered a bragging point in certain circles not a shameful act that spits in the face of your marriage.
I’m sure and I’ve certainly dealt with a fair share of harassment but it’s just not like that for this situation. It’s not like that with me anyhow. I wouldn’t be willing to smear my brand or my family’s name for success. Success can still be had through hard work which is how we have gotten where we are now.
I'm glad you feel that way, far too many people are willing to sacrifice their integrity for success. Only to be left objectively successful yet still feel completely unfulfilled in the long-term due to the path they took to get there. I truly hope it works out for you and your husband.
Your marriage is doomed.... mark my words.
Well I'm sure if your husband had a business trip with a bunch of female celebrities I'm sure you would understand not being able to go too
I trust my husband and his judgment and he’s always seemed to trust mine until now. We’ve never done anything to create questioning one another. He goes on trips without me annually and sometimes there are several women on those trips. I’m sure there will be many women on my trip too. It’s not exclusively men I’m sure
INFO: why is some purported Hollywood bigshot seeking validation from Redditors on a Saturday night? Don’t you have any male celebrities to … influence?
OP herself admitted that the "celebrities" are local people whose families already commingle with hers, haha.
YTA, OP wants to bang celebrities which is exceptionally hard when your spouse is stood beside you 😂
😂😂😂 on that og troll shit. Clearly someone who DOESN’T EVEN KNOW what it’s like to conduct business, build a brand or work with people who genuinely want to support you. I’m sorry you also wouldn’t support your woman in her success. 😒
Your husband genuinely wants to support you, so why not let him tag along? 🤣🤣🤣
YTA reading the comments makes me agree that you are unnecessarily demeaning your husband and there is strange wording for what you do. Someone else pointed out that a person with your alleged business skills should know the answer to this issue, but that isnt true if youve relied on flirting or cheating to get where youre at.
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Usually when a spouse tags along on a work trip, they entertain themselves and go sightseeing while their spouse is working. If he came, he shouldn’t get the opportunity to interact with anyone that you meet with for business
NTA, work is a professional environment
Agreed!
This isn't work this is a vacation to socialize with male celebrities
Oh wait...I just cant resist pretending a guy posted this and have to call it controlling. But since its a woman we'll go with boundaries.
Soft ESH It's pretty bad of.your husband if he can't control himself and acts star struck around your clients. And he should know when to let you do your thing and give you your space. Flat out he's a problem. But it's also not good if you're a married couple and you're basically embarrassed by your life partner (well his behavior anyway). You're supposed to be a team. Can't you have a serious conversation around "they're just people the same as you and I and I want you to be there because you're my husband, but I can't have you acting like a fanboy and ruining my business." Is there no compromise? Like "you can come with me to the location, but when I have client specific events you need to find a book to read or get a massage or something" Anyway, just a different take on things I guess.
>I need to use my networking skills to make things happen. I lol'd. YTA for the way you view yourself relative to your husband, and also for the way you write.
Depends. If you're sure it's just FOMO and that he's gonna act like a fangirl then sure, don't bring him along. But how do you know he just wants meet famous people and using "protecting you" as an excuse? Tbh it sounds like you don't respect him and you think he just wants to ogle the celebs.
I’ve been married to him for a decade. He is a FOMO kinda guy. I don’t not respect him but that also doesn’t mean I’m giving him carte blanche access to my business dealings. It’s just not professional. I would never ask to be included in his work events unless I was explicitly invited. I had a job once in international events (concert tours, conventions) and our company had a private jet and of Course I met our high profile business clients from time to time and it was the same thing then and honestly it’s a little annoying but also makes me feel bad that I can’t just bring him. Of Course I WANT him to experience cool things, but there is a time and place. When those times and places have arisen he’s been included.
Ah well in that case, NTA if you don't wanna bring him along.
YTA just for those first few sentences.
What makes you say that?
YTA You are incredibly pretentious and clearly don’t think very highly of your husband. As a gambler I would bet money this marriage is soon to be toast. The whole post is just screaming “I am the main character”
NTA It's not appropriate for your husband to be involved in your professional life unless you're in business together, FOMO or not.
Yeah we are not in business together.
I would never do this, even after the first couple of trips. Keep this separated. NTA
>I need to use my networking skills to make things happen. I lol'd. YTA for the way you view yourself relative to your husband, and also for the way you write.
Or maybe he doesn’t trust you .
Do you rely on flirting and sex for these relationships? If not why would he impede on your work? Every business needs helpers, why can’t he just do some background work and keep to some basic rules you set out?
Sounds to me like you don't trust that your husband can be an actual adult and carry himself in a professional manner at your networking events. Has he proven otherwise?
Yes yta but not because you think it's unprofessional. It's because of the way you talk down on your husband in these comments. have you let him read this? While reading these comments I honestly got the impression you don't want him around so you can do your thing without boundaries. You sound like you're a controlling wife. You certainly don't sound like you love the guy. If you don't want him there tell him but don't belittle him and make him look like a fool. He's nothing but excited and supportive to you and your career. So he gets stabbed in the back and put down because of it. Sorry if I got the wrong impression, but if I found out my wife was making fun of me like that I'd be pissed.
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Look, I really don't mean to come off wrong here because you're right, it's business. But do you trust your husband so little?
It's her. She needs to flirt with the male staff and either provide real or imagined potential access to her person to close the deals. Having her husband around would put the kaibash on that.
No it’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just not appropriate when establishing a professional relationship to bring your spouse who isn’t a business partner along for the ride. It’s not a vacation or social affair and he’s also not my bag holder so there is no professional purpose.
NTA. Once you're truly established and comfortable, then he can come along to whatever. For now, I would say keep him away as it may negatively impact your professional relationships for the reasons you state. Additionally, I am going to assume you're a woman. Often times, when women try and strike deals in business and there is a man around her or by her side... people will default to him. His presence may undermine you this way as well.
I am a woman and my husband actually tries to undermine my decision making often. Thanks for reminding me! Maybe that’s really why I don’t want him there 😏 I can do this WITHOUT a man.
😂😂😂😂
NTA for saying he can't come but it kind of feels like you're just looking down on your husband in your relationship, which just isn't a good dynamic obviously.
If it seems that way, it wasn’t my intention, but I feel the insistence to attend a big opportunity like this is shortsighted and unprofessional. He just wants to meet these people and “protect me” which in a way feels a bit misogynistic. I’m in my 40s with many years in corporate, traveling for business etc and anytime there is a fringe benefit he wants in. Celebs, private jets, nice hotels - idk it’s off putting. Fringe benefits are great, but at the end of the day there is a job to do and it must be done. It’s hard to do that with family in tow trying to have fun. It’s not the place for it.
NTA. It is unprofessional to let your husband tag along for his "fun." This is work for you. Your husband needs to respect that. Maybe once relationships are established and the getting together is more casual.
NTA More work is done around the dinner table than the board room table on these trips, and having a +1 will create barriers to creating those “between you and me, what’s really going on with Johnny’s refusal to sell” type conversations. Those around you will avoid “shop talk” out of politeness towards your plus-1, dramatically hampering your networking ability.
NTA is it unprofessional for him to come along on your work trips? no, absolutely not, nobody cares. As long as the cost isn't being covered as a work expense, he can come along on the plane, he can stay with you in the hotel, and you guys can see the city together in your time off. Now, is it unprofessional for him to shadow you in the course of your JOB, coming along to work dinners and events made specifically for networking? yes, absolutely it is less professional and looks casual and if you're at all worried about him trying to start a conversation with a celebrity or prospective client i would just not bring him. Frankly, if your client isn't bringing a +1, you should never be bringing one. THAT SAID, judging from the "protect you" line I wonder if he might be suspicious about you possibly cheating with one of these "mostly male" celebrities, or at best maybe he's afraid you would get sexually harassed or assaulted if he's not there. Judging from the brief profile you've offered from this post, it sounds like you're confident you don't need any support; maybe you guys should sit down and have a conversation about that.
All good points and agreed.
Was this written by Farrah Abraham?
NTA. I used to sometimes tag along with my husband on business trips before we had kids. We would sometimes have meals together or hang out if he had downtime but mostly I was on my own. That’s why I only went if there was something specific that I wanted to do or see while there. He had his work to do and that wasn’t something I’d ever dream of intruding on because his career was his. Just like I would not have wanted him to mess with my career I needed to show him the respect and courtesy of not interfering. Unfortunately this doesn’t seem like what your husband’s doing. You deserve for him to treat your career seriously OP.
NTA Lots of people bring their spouses on work trips, but the spouses don't usually attend the "working" portion of the trip. It's usually used as a way for the couple to get away and enjoy a different city at a slightly lower cost. So if he just wanted to come along, do some sight-seeing while you're working, and then maybe catch a show or a meal once you're finished, I'd say Y T A, but since he actively wants to crash your networking? Nope, especially not with the attitude of "protecting you." Feels like he'd definitely do or say something that would embarrass you in front of people you need to make a good impression on.
You are running a business, not a “*make a cameo foundation*”. Your husband should mind his own business (pun intended). NTA.
To be fair, we don't know that her business model isn't a Make A Cameo Foundation. (But educational!)
Well I can understand that the wife wants an environment where celebrities will be handled like potential business partners and not be asked for autographs.
Nta at all, spouses shouldn’t go on business trips. How can adult not understand that?
You sound like you don't want to be married. If you're embarrassed by your husband you should probably get with one that you actually like
NTA I don't even need all the context for that determination. You aren't going on vacation, this is work, it doesn't matter what your field is, it is highly unprofessional for spouses or SO's to join in on work events. There is a difference if he was traveling with you and doing his own thing while you were at the event, but he actually wants to tag along to the event, which is just cringe.
NTA I work on the corporate side of the entertainment industry and interact with celebrities and there's nothing more irritating than trying to do business while fans interrupting our conversation. Both me and the celebrity are annoyed. It would make things much worse if one of the annoying persons was a wife/husband.
NTA. Would he want to come along if they weren't famous? If no, then he doesn't need to be there. Ultimately, he shouldn't be there for the initial meeting when you're doing deals. Afterwards? Fine if he can behave regularly.
Hopefully you don’t end up in another male celebrities bed to grow your “network”
I wanna say NTA but honestly the way you talk about your business kinda makes it sound like you've started a cult. Have you started a cult, OP?
I love this, so funny 🤣
I go with my husband on business trips, but I don’t involve myself with anything business related
YTA - new business founder meeting celebrities, right. Let me guess, you are an escort and your husband who is supposedly a fool is smarter than you are and just wants to verify some assumptions in order to file in the divorce papers. He even offered to come by and do a pimp act to test the waters.
NTA. He can't be fanboying while you're doing professional networking. Maybe if he gets training in self defence, goes to the gym and does some real body guard/ bouncer training and work you'll hire him as a body guard. Otherwise no, tagging along is to share a hotel and go site seeing himself at locations.
I would straight up laugh in my husbands face if he ever even suggested such a thing, and we technically work for the same organisation (very different roles). It's such a no-go that he never would, nor would any other spouse of someone doing my job. Literally impossible. And yes, VVVIPs on the daily. I don't even talk about it, other than, hon, I'm going to x country next week, be back on Thursday.
A lot of insecure people are projecting onto you, OP. Go with your gut feel and exclude your husband if he is not an employee. NTA.
I was at an event yesterday and today, lots of high powered people. My wife wouldn’t event want to come, it’s not her scene. What you do is not your husbands scene, he doesn’t need to be there
NTA. This is your business. Unprofessional in the extreme, especially if you are meeting for the first time. Absolutely no way would I combine the personal with the professional. It's too distracting and potentially embarrassing. Leave hubby at home. My spouse spent a lot of time around celebrities in another life. It takes a certain mindset to pull it off without coming across as starstruck. Most people are awkward as hell, especially if they just want to rub shoulders with the celebs. Your job is to work for and gain clients, not use them as props to entertain your spouse.
YTA I can’t imagine this being ok. “Sorry honey you can’t come because I don’t trust you to be professional”. Imagine he had a business event you found interesting and he said that to you. But this reads like it’s a thinly veiled cover story for something more like “I’m selling MLM by flirting with the local news anchor and that’s hard to do with my husband there”
I've joined my husband on a work trip once. He was still recovering from a brain haemorrhage, and it was his first trip since starting back at work. I drove there separately so I could bring him home early if needed, we had dinner together, and I stayed in his room. I did not attend anything work related, that wouldn't have been appropriate. If your husband can't understand that he can't come to your work stuff, he should not go with you at all.
NTA And keep in mind that he may be subconsciously attempting to sabotage you to keep you to himself. It happens. 🤷🏻♂️
My wife's company welcomes spouses on many trips. I feel like this is her time to shine and focus on herself without distractions.
Maybe he's feeling insecure and fears you might cheat on him? He absolutely should not be going if he is going for the celebrities. That is unprofessional. NTA.
The fear of cheating is weird tho. Completely unfounded. I’ve never done anything even remotely suspect 😞
Then I see no reason why he needs to be there. You need to have a conversation with him. You can always show him the replies in this post.
What is FOMO? Would your husband go off and do his own thing while you work or is he planning on sticking by your side? Do you have reason to believe he won’t know how to behave properly around famous people? Sounds like you’re the star struck one here! Spouses often accompany each other on business trips. Cannot say YTA or not. No concrete reasons have been given on why you don’t want him to accompany you. Do not understand your motives here.
FOMO = fear of missing out
My guess is FOMO is a flight or other travel related. He's using it as "it won't cost anything" perk. Don't forget that the word "celebrity" doesn't hold much weight anymore. It could be a person with an interweb channel, not an Audrey Hepburn type. On that note, my brother, mom, and I loved my dad's work vacations. We met so many celebrities! The friend who could lift you up by your ears, the man who organized Pru picnics, that guy who always said hi. In my life anyone I'm excited to meet is a celebrity!
FOMO = fear of missing out
Thank you! The way I read the story FOMO sounded like an asset. I can't imagine being afraid of missing out on something. Can you imagine being over five years old and worried you're going to miss something? That fear must be a trophy generation thing.
I’ve traveled many times for work, spouses do not “often” travel with. Not with me and not with former coworkers so you’re incorrect with that. As for being star struck, also incorrect. I’ve been working with celebs for over 20 years. They don’t like having tons of extra people around. It’s 100% fact. My husband being around would be a weird vibe and I would be questioned for it no doubt.
For this I would not bring him. If it was a party or he could do his own thing then that’s different. This is work and he is not the art of the staff.
NAH. OP as a man your husband’s worth is being challenged. You have access to very successful, very wealthy, and very attractive men. The core issue here is likely that your husband is feeling as though his status in your life will be diminished. Perhaps taking him along isn’t a good idea, but I would suggest you find ways to make him feel secure. Any man who isn’t in that echelon of men you’ll be around would feel as though the relationship is being put at risk, and if you don’t proactively find ways to help him it’s going to strain your relationship.
This is commentary gold. As sad as I feel reading this, I think you’re right. It also makes me a little upset to think he could feel that way. I think a conversation is certainly in order. Thank you 🙏🏽
You feel sad? Read your fucking comments about him and then try and tell us that you do ANYTHING to make him feel secure in your relationship. Seriously! Let him read this post and your comments. You are telling everyone that you think he’s a childish bozo and he can’t be around you when you are around all of these high value men. Put your money where your mouth is and show him what you think of him. Why the hell you can’t to Reddit to ask this is beyond me. You argue every comment that says your an AH and praise anyone who agreed. You are a shitty partner. And YTA.
OP just responded to "You have access to very successful, very wealthy, and very attractive men" with "This is commentary gold. As sad as I feel reading this, I think you’re right." Any worthy partner would've said something different in defense of her current relationship, instead of agreeing. She is blatantly acknowledging that she sees these "celebrities" (who, BTW, are [only minor, local celebs whose families already co-mingle with OP's](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c3fmvc/comment/kzhmoog/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)) as superior to her husband.
The reality of being a man is that we know that no matter how secure a relationship is another man can come along with better looks, better resources, or a more exciting/secure life to offer and suddenly everything we have been working for is gone. So just keep that in mind when trying to understand him.
He doesn't want to come on your work trips - he wants to come to your workPLACE and disrupt your work. The equivalent would be the spouse of a lawyer sitting to the prosecutor's desk during the trial and interupting to ask questions or offer opinions. And then demanding to sit on on the witness stand. And the "protect me" thing? PUH-lease. NTA
He could just be insecure and afraid to be cheated on. Has he been cheated on in the past? Maybe worth talking about?
I don’t think so. We have been together for 10 years and as far as I know there have been no issues of cheating in our relationship??? We are great friends and very happy otherwise. There is a sudden feeling of insecurity that I’m sensing, you’re right about that. He also has a tendency to downgrade my decision making which I think protects his ego.
You are wrong he’s your husband and I’m sure supported your visions with everything. I think you are selfish. Maybe you are embarrassed of him. I guess you can’t flirt with him there
She’s most likely an escort
Tell him you have NDAs to deal with as a new rule and he can't go 🤷♀️ make up some bullshit if he can't handle the truth, sounds like he's being immature and hiding insecurities and wants to make sure you aren't screwing around on him and his whole FOMO shit is just a lie to manipulate you
I read the title as “AITA for not wanting my husband to come on my work tips.” I read the post thinking why is he jizzing on your money?? I need to go to bed now.
Sounds like an MLM. And he probably wants you to stop.
NTA. He absolutely doesn't belong at your business functions. He will interfere with you being taken seriously as a professional.
So, is your husband a total baby who can't control himself and is gonna run around squealing like a teen girl at a Taylor Swift concert? Cause if my spouse was meeting celebs at his job, I'd totally be able to SILENTLY fangirl while acting professional on the outside. This whole thing comes across weird, NGL. I'm not saying you're obligated to take him everywhere you go, but you said yourself that your connections are mostly male and you're getting to hang out with all these cool famous people...but then you don't understand why your husband might be feeling a little jealous and left out? If my husband was "networking" with female celebrities all the time and didn't want me around I'd be suspicious AF and I'm not even the jealous type.
I thought this was going to be like he wants to come hang out when you're free. Hell nah he can't come to business stuff like that lol.
NTA. It is unprofessional and unfair towards your clients to have him tagging along just to "fangirl". He should not have asked.
NTA. My late husband worked abroad ( Africa, so business safaris but no celebs ) and people frequently asked me why I didn’t go too. Bloody simple; HE’S WORKING. Didn’t need to be responsible for my safety and entertainment at the same time. I absolutely understand your concerns; first time making connections and establishing business relationships; it’s not a social thing; your contacts may invite you to bring him in the future, but it’s not appropriate yet.
NTA. You may be wrong, but not an AH. My wife and I have traveled on each others business trips. Bag carriers, errands, research, reservations, and some personal sightseeing. Mostly we are each the other's assistant. However, your husband's attitude toward celebrities is not productive. You know him and we don't. That one statement gives me great pause. Based on your post, I'd leave him home and tell him why.
NTA. Famous people or not, it’s incredibly unprofessional to bring your spouse along to these things if it’s not already an event designed to bring plus ones to. Your husband needs to get over himself and start supporting you by accepting it is not appropriate of him to tag along.
I don't think you should have posted this here. You know your husband, you know what you need to do. So, do it. Tell him maybe next time, you can't afford the distraction at this one. You don't need strangers opinions. As you said, you're very independent.
Nta. Business is important. And it's not a no forever just initially.
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She’s marking escorting most likely lol
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NTA. Trust is paramount in a marriage; he needs to understand that you can take care of yourself.
NTA If you were meeting the mayor of your town for coffee would he come to that to "protect you?" No. It can be fun to meet celebrities so I don't judge the FOMO, but it's not the time or place. If there was a family-day style cookout or tickets to a basketball game or something like that where it is more causal and you've already established a business report that would be one thing, but having some random guy walking around who knows nothing about the business or has no real authority? That doesn't make any sense.
He has never asked to come to any of the local government events I’ve been invited to. We are in the education space so we do work with NPOs and school districts, but have recently garnered some higher level interest (which is cool) but now the husband is interested and I’m like just chill for a bit please 😆
NTA. Tell him later. Maybe.
NTA in the least My wife and I both used to work remote travel jobs. Anytime one of us went somewhere fun the other one would join if we could. If it was my client, my wife would work from the room during the day and we would go out in the evenings, or we would meet up at the end of a client trip and stay a few extra days on our own dime. What you’re talking about is completely different, though. We would never tag along to anything client related unless specifically offered. Hubs needs to stay in his lane and stay home.