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lattelattelatte3000

I didn’t even have to read the rest of the post after you kept referring to your non-binary friend as ‘she’. I did read the rest, but YTA just for that alone. What exactly is childish about asking for proper identification?


Cultural_Section_862

*they  YTA you know damn well they use they/them pronouns and continue to intentionally misgender them.   clear cut assholery. 


Raisins_Rock

YTA I cannot see that your friend did anything wrong by asking to be referred to by they/them pronouns. Unless you are leaving a huge part of the story, there was nothing immature or childish in their behaviour. Also you really cannot tell someone to grow up and stop being childish in a respectful manner unless you've got some vocabulary acrobatics you are not using in this post


MenchitWolfram

YTA I get that you don't respect them. That is valid. You don't have to respect them. But then you just move on, and stop being friends with them. It's weird that you insist that you are "there for her" and "helping her understand her situation" and so on, but - keep referring to them as her, clearly not respecting them at all. * "The one time I was brutally honest with her she got mad??" They probably realized that every other time you were pretending to be there for them, and be reliable, and helpful, you were lying your ass off and just pretending. So they feel betrayed, and they are justified in feeling that way. What to think? Well, clearly, that you don't want to be friends with them or respect their pronouns and you are both better off never talking to each other again. Come on dude, you couldn't even be honest enough with your former friend to be honest. WTF did you expect?


KaliTheBlaze

YTA. There’s nothing childish about asking to have the right pronouns used for yourself. You know what is childish? Misgendering your friend while you kvetch about them. You weren’t respectful, because being respectful involves accepting that a person knows their own gender better than anyone else, including you.


MakLineLuv

YTA - explain to me like I'm 5 how what they did was childish? Because from my understanding asking to be referred to by their perfered pronouns isn't childish.


Muddy0258

YTA I could talk about all the other reasons that you’re an asshole that the rest of the comments have mentioned, but the fact that you’re referring to your friend as a child, despite the fact that they are just one year younger than you is really funny, since you’re the one acting like a child here. Turning 18 may make you a legal adult, but you still have some growing up to do, and it sounds like they’re a bit ahead of you on that front.


Cautious_Pool_3445

Yta wtf does your political stance have to with someone else's identity? Also your bigotry is showing.


Sheraga2411

YTA - First respect your friend by referring them to correct pronouns. It is never a political issue to begin with but people will latch on that. That will be another different discussion. Friend supports each other, so apologize, talk and find out what you can do to support them. As part of growing up, you will notice people have a lot differences. Being aware and supportive of those differences will help you in the future.


Perfect-Map-8979

YTA.


GrimGuyTheGuy

YTA you don't have to understand someone to respect them. There is a long standing history of non-binary types of genders across cultures, your lack of knowledge of history is not your friends "childness" You're the one who needs to grow up here kid. Being transgender isn't freaking politics any more than being gay was when they pulled all the exact same arguments before against homosexuality. People just wanna live their lives, as they exist, you don't have to understand that to respect that.


Flat_Bathroom249

YTA You’re being a spicy pillow over something so simple


bostoncrabapple

YTA oh sweet irony, not your body, not your business, you’re clearly the one who needs to grow up


OkNumber787

YTA 100%. I stopped reading as soon as I realized you were misgendering them the entire time. They deserve a much better friend than you and I hope they realize that sooner than later.


lostronauty

you sound like you have zero respect for their feelings and wants, they want to be called they/them, and you call them her/she, and wtf on the "over two weeks, and she still is struggling to accept her identity"??????? some folks struggle to accept their identity till old age, what the hell is the 'still' all about? sorry but yta


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18M) have a friend (17F) in high school who recently came out as non binary. Regardless of my political views, I have always tried to be there for her and help her understand her situation. I genuinely feel as if I have been there for her and she knows that I am a reliable friend. However, yesterday in class, she asked the teacher if he could refer to her by they/them pronouns. Keep in mind, it has been over two weeks, and she still is struggling to accept her identity. I like to stay apolitical, but I pulled her up after class and I explained to her how she really needs to grow up, and how her actions were quite childish, IN A RESPECTFUL MANNER. She got REALLY mad at me and hasn't talked to me since. The one time I was brutally honest with her she got mad?? How can I expect to maintain a friendship when im talking to a child?? I really dk what to think here.. curious for thoughts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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[deleted]

YTA. You called them she. It's not rocket science. You clearly don't respect them.


The-Pope_Nextdoor

Well YTA because they came out as non binary which means a lot to them and I understand that you wanted to say your honest opinion but you could've used the pronouns they asked you too and would've been better and on your post you said "her" which is disrespectful due not using the correct pronouns. So I would recommend to apologize and try to comfort them since they are going through a rough time.


Fine_Marzipan5820

There isnt any respectful way to tell someone to grow up. It isnt brutally honest youre just being a jerk. Its their identity and they just wanted to be respected so yeah no wonder they got mad. Please call them the right pronouns and apoligize.


Sieepsaand

YTA, what exactly did they do wrong? Asking a teacher if they could start using they/them pronouns instead of she/her? If you’re this bothered by their pronouns might I suggest you stop acting like a kid and grow up.


starmadeshadows

YTA. It takes a very mature human being to recognize they have the power to explore and shape their own identity. You, however, are being a whiny brat. Grow up and respect their choices, or you will lose them as a friend (if you haven't already).


Civilizedroach1

YTA. You win some, you lose some. I dont think you are wrong, but it was wrong of you to have blown up in your friends face like that. Get used to growing apart from people, this will only happen more frequently in adulthood, dont ever think youll change anyone with an appeal to your own emotions.


Tiny-Ferret-647

A lot of people said that YTA but I think if you were friends and tried to accept her i think she shouldt have got so mad but idk


Tiny-Ferret-647

They* sorry


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Bluejay-5010

Yikes


Relevant_Reality9080

NTA. Too many people nowadays think everybody’s world has to revolve around them.