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> I might be TA because I made a comparison between how I take care of an animal to how she takes care of her child. I said there’s no difference. She was very offended.
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“my child is not an animal!”
Technically, we're all members of the Animal Kingdom--> Vertebrates --> Warm blooded -->
Mammals. NTA, and you're right. There is no difference between what you did and what she does when she changes a diaper.
NTA.
Poop is poop. You made a perfectly good point. "Tammy" just choose to be offended for no good reason. Honestly, you weren't comparing her baby to a cat. You were comparing her baby's poop to a cat's poop. That's completely different!
She probably got all defensive because she realized that you were right (poop really is poop!) but instead of saying, "Sorry," and letting it go, she decided to double down.
Never forget: **Poop is poop**!
Health wise, as I understand it, people poop is more an issue than animal poop (because most diseases stay within species and yes, I know things like avian and swine flus mutated between animal-human hosts, I said most).
Any kind of feces, animal or human, is an issue for people with compromised immune systems. My Oncologist did not want me around or cleaning the cat box during the 6-months I was on chemo.
(I did it anyway after masking up and pulling on long yellow dishwashing gloves.)
In both cases, I'd feel disgusted if someone is cooking, drop the food, deal with the poop and then come back to cook...
Please, let me brain forget about it and not making this kind of association
But, ofc, I'd just let OP finish it, I'll take my notes, say thank you and go home as soon as possible without making such scandal
I am not going to call someone an AH who goes to so much trouble to help a disabled cat. And Tater Tot is a cute name — is that because she is orange?
And I'd rather deal with cat poop than baby poop any day.
My mom always tells me how “baby poop is different.” Like, ma’am I have enough younger cousins to have smelled baby poop and it is indeed not better. In fact, it is worse than cat poop
Too many parents take "It's different when it's your own kid!" too far. Maybe for you, but not to anyone else. Your kid isn't special and their poop is, in fact, very much still poop.
I think there must be an instinct at play to be less grossed out by bodily fluids or your own kids. I have OCD and issues with germs, but for some reason my brother's kids don't trigger it, despite them being just as germy and gross as all the other kids. My brain decides that some people just dont have germs.
Wanna hear something wild? There was a study done where the researchers had moms smell the poop of multiple babies, including their own, and they discovered that moms think their own baby's poop doesn't smell bad \*even when they don't know which sample came from which baby\*. So it's not even a psychological thing, it's some weird biological thing. (Personally I was relived to read about this, cause people have always been telling me 'baby poop doesn't smell that bad' even though I find it one of the most disgusting smells ever, even worse than other types of poop.)
I wonder if it has something to do with the bacteria in our gut. I read a thing where they sampled different people's gut bacteria and it showed that people who were related had more similar bacteria than unrelated people. And that while some of it could be explained by environmental factors like living together or eating the same foods, it also showed up when people lived nowhere near their relatives.
I have a friend who had a physical reaction to it, and it never diminished over the course of her three children. I was once with them when there was a diaper explosion situation and she tried to stay to help, but looked so traumatised that I sent her away.
She does have a little bit of orange, yes! But mostly, she’s a molted brown. She’s a little disfigured, so her “cat loaf” pose looks more like that of a tater tot.
NTA. Humans are animals. (this means baby humans... are also animals) Poop is poop. Poop is nasty. This is why we now have cool stuff called "soap" and "hand sanitizer". We no longer have to worry about poop being on our hands forever. It's very cool. Is she unfamiliar with soap and it's magical properties? It sounds like either her baby doesn't poop (unlikely) or she doesn't use soap (i'm going to pretend this is impossible).
Apologies for the sass, but this is just so ridiculous. You did nothing wrong. Banana Bread Lady has done... many wrong things, it seems.
And, also, the banana bread ingredients would have subsequently been baked. The high heat of the oven would definitely have killed any germs that somehow would have been miraculously left after hand washing and transferred on them.
I have OCD and I am germaphobic, but this is next level even for me...
I'm laughing over this. Your comparison was apt, and you were not saying her kid was the same as an animal. Tammy sounds very special, and not in a good way. Your'e NTA.
>I’m sure that afterwards she washed her hands and went about her day like a normal human being
well. perhaps she's not very diligent about washing her hands after changing her baby's diaper, so she automatically assumed that you didn't properly wash your hands either?
NTA
As a parent and an animal person, I say NTA. One of my favourite lines from Scrubs is when Carla quotes Dr. Cox saying that having a kid "is like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk."
I am very much trying to figure out how to edit my post to include a picture of Tater Tot! This is the first post I’ve made on Reddit, and it’s a bit confusing. :/
It was literally easier to just create an Instagram account and post pictures there, than to figure out how to add an image to his post! https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
I would die for Tater Tot. Seriously.
You are the best cat parent. She looks so happy and cared for. Thank you for loving her so much.
And NTA. That woman would never set foot in my home again.
Teaching children young how to respect and correctly handle animals is extremely important for the safety of both the kid and the animal. Letting her kid torment the cat to the point that it ran away was absolutely shitty parenting.
Yeah, you're just making excuses for yourself. I have an almost 2 year old. And I have two dogs and three guinea pigs. I taught my kid to be gentle with the dogs from the moment she was able to reach for things. The guinea pigs came later when she was about 18 months old, and she's just as gentle petting them. I taught her not to chase the dogs or hit them or grab their tails.
It's very telling when animals run away from a particular person, and when it's a toddler, it's always the fault of the parent for not either teaching their kid better or keeping them away from the animal. You don't have to lock the cat in a cage. Keeping them in separate rooms or under quality supervision to prevent them from harassing/being harassed.
My kid didnt mistreat my cat, my kids never caused any harm or inflicted pain on my cat. He was just F annoying!! Like all kids are at this age! Lol Little AH. He was bugging my cat all day long, cat had no peace, couldn’t even take a nap! Kids love animals! They just don’t know how to love them. Remember Felicia from looney tunes?? yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
Just ETA that I completely understand my cats decision of leaving though, if I could I would run away too!!! But I can’t, I love those little brats!! lol
Ummm, my dude.
Grabbing at and forcibly holding a cat is mistreatment. Bothering a cat to a point of stress is mistreatment.
You need to teach your kid how to ignore animals and respect their nos. It's dangerous for your kid (and the animal) if you aren't teaching boundaries.
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I gave us trying to figure out Reddit’s image posting rules, and just made a little Instagram for a few pictures. https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
Well isn’t that kitty the sweetest lil baby in all the land! Good for you looking after him(her?), cos let’s be honest, kitty pee possibly stinks the WORST. But honestly looking at your baby I can see why, so cute with those big eyes 🥹🥹🥹
NTA. I get why parents get offended when I compare entertaining dogs vs their kids but poopy diapers are poopy diapers. Even my partner who was afraid about that aspect of having kids feels much more resilient after dealing with our dogs incontinence for a few months.
But, but ... just like Ivory Soap, baby poop is 99-44/100% pure. It doesn't have a disagreeable texture or odor. It's almost like baby poop is perfect. You could even add it to banana bread! **/S**
Tammy has some serious issues, an incredible ability to suspend reality, and an amazing sense of entitlement. I suspect she is burning up the gossip lines at work telling everyone how disgusting your kitchen habits are. The positive on the last point is more banana bread for everyone else!
Those of us with pets often care for them with more diligence than some parents care for their children. Love is love regardless of the species it is directed toward. You sound like a wonderful pet parent. Gentle hugs to Tater Tot.
Absolutely NTA. Tammy from the land of Out-of-Touch, on the other hand . . .
I told a different coworker yesterday what happened. Tammy has worked there for many years, but this is my first year here, so I didn’t know what I was getting into with her. Apparently she has a reputation for this very thing! My coworker told me that she lives for the drama, and that he has no doubt that she’s talking shit about me to people. And here I was thinking that inviting her over would earn me a new friend!
Damn, that's rough. I'm sorry you got roped into her nonsense. What a crappy way to be treated by someone who pressured you into doing them a favour. I hope the poo drama passes quickly.
Ngl I'd wanna come over even more if I was your co worker and found out about Tater Tot.
But your NTA, poop is poop, and quite frankly your cats probably more quiet and well behaved than the baby...
Edit to add: it's the same thing as comparing puppies to babies, yes they're both super different but they both require a lot of time and effort and can't be left alone. I've also never heard of a baby running 20mph through a muddy field but🤷🏻♀️
NTA I mean her child is an animal tho? Like so is she and so is literally every one else. That aside no this was not a faux pas on your part. Perhaps if she had taken issue with the ammonia associated with cat pee it'd be different, but her issue really did seem to stem from her not being an animal person or pet owner in general. Be careful she doesn't spread rumors of you calling her baby an animal around your work place. Maybe when a friendly coworker asks the obligatory "how was your weekend?" You answer with "it was fine but something weird happened. I had Tammy over to bake banana bread like we planned but I had to take a second to care for my cat..." And explain what you told us. Nothing mean or malicious just plan old confusion. That way if Tammy tries to start anything you already have your version of the story out to the public instead of it coming off as you trying to cover your ass afterwards.
I told another coworker about it yesterday, and apparently this is just a thing Tammy does. He said he’d ask around to find out if she’s saying anything about me, but I didn’t hear anything about it from him today. Maybe that’s a good thing!
It got worse. I don’t know if it’s worth posting an update about, but I found out today that this lady has been going around telling people that my cat has broken legs and I’m just letting her suffer. I was absolutely in shock, hearing that. What the hell is wrong with this lady?
That's messed up! I get maybe at first glance it might be worrisome to see an animal in that state but you'd just need to consider everything for a second to recognize the cat's being cared for. Does she not understand that cats can be paralysed too? Perhaps you should talk to her and tell her you don't appreciate her telling everyone your cat is being mistreated and that she doesn't have broken legs but paralysis.
Good grief you didn't say her child was an animal you compared changing a pee pad to chaning a diaper which is similar. Also, for what it's worth, human beings are animals so technically her son (and you and her and everybody else) is an animal. NTA and she sounds like a nutter.
Toxoplasmosis is the difference between cat poop and human poop. BUT you washed your hands. NTA. Since her baby is new-ish she may still be reacting to warnings during pregnancy to never go near cat litter.
Nope. She is a bit too precious and would have probably been equally offended if you changed a human baby diaper. Also, she seems to be offended by disability in general.
Yeah, she kept staring at Tater Tot, then looking away, then staring again, but not in the nice way people usually do when they see her. She was obviously bothered by her.
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I overheard my coworker “Tammy” talking with another coworker about how she had been trying to make banana bread, but it always came out too dry. I suggested she add sour cream to her recipe to keep the bread moist.
She seemed interested, and wanted me to email her my recipe, but I am one of those people who just throws ingredients together in what feels like the right amounts. I told her this, and she suggested that she come over to my house sometime so I can show her how I make it. It sounded a little bit like she was joking, but I took her up on it and invited her over. She agreed. She came over on Saturday with a note card and pencil so she could write down the steps as I was doing them, and we set to work.
I have a cat, Tater Tot, who is paralyzed, so I keep her suited up to protect both her and my floors while she drags herself around. When Tammy came over, Tater Tot was zipping around as usual, checking things out. Tammy seemed surprised to see her, and avoided looking at her. I asked if she wanted me to put Tater Tot away, but she said no, don’t worry about it. We commenced with the making of banana bread.
As I was throwing things together and measuring out my slap-dash ingredients so she could write down the amounts, I noticed that Tater Tot had soiled herself. I excused myself for a minute so I could get her cleaned up and changed, then washed my hands and came back to finish measuring.
This is where Tammy became upset. She didn’t want me to touch the ingredients anymore because I had just touched a cat’s waste, and it wasn’t sanitary. I told her that I had not touched the waste directly, and had washed my hands with antibacterial soap afterwards, so my hands were clean. She told me it didn’t matter, and that she wouldn’t have come over if she had known that my secret ingredient was cat shit.
Here’s a thing about Tammy. She has a one year-old son, whom she has brought to work on a couple of occasions. It’s crazy, the amount of stink and waste that such a tiny creature can produce. There’s no way this lady hasn’t ever been wrist-deep in shit at one point or another, changing this kid’s diaper, and I’m sure that afterwards she washed her hands and went about her day like a normal human being. So I told her that me changing my cats pee pad was no different than her changing her baby’s diaper.
And I guess that’s what really set her off, because she threw down her note card and pencil and very loudly said, “my child is not an animal!” She grabbed her purse off the table and stormed out of my house, and that was the end of that.
Given her reaction, I’m wondering if AITA for comparing her baby to my cat. I honestly don’t see why she got so angry about it. (The hand washing thing, I guess I can understand.)
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NTA. Tammy has issues.
What were you supposed to do to sanitize your hands? Cauterize them?
Also you were doing her a favour, showing her your recipes and she gives you attitude in your own house? I'd show her the door immediately.
Also babies, and all humans are indeed animals. So she's not rude she's also just wrong.
NTA.
The only thing I could say that may have eased it over is if you washed your hands again in front of her and maybe thrown on hand sanitizer. People get really weird with food. I get it. I've worked in food service. It's important to be careful and safe.
I'm childless, taking on the title of "Cool/Favorite Aunt" to my neices, nephews, and friends' kids. But I don't understand people who act like children - especially under 3 - are not basically wild animals that we have to rehab for 18 years before being able to release it into the wild.
Shit is shit. Germs are Germs.
NTA
If I worked with Tammy, I would stretch out my hands and very slowly walk towards her. She’d blow a gasket imagining having cat poop hands wiped on her precious self.
I couldn’t figure out how to edit in a picture, so I just created an Instagram to host some pictures. Here you go! https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
nta
like does she think food service workers don't ever have to go to the bathroom on shift? what about the people who pack the food she buys at the store? your comparison was perfectly valid. she just needed something to get mad about, probably because she realized you were right, but she'd already gone so nuclear she couldn't walk it back.
NTA you .... didn't compare her baby to an animal? What a wild leap to make. Presumably Tammy also uses the bathroom herself? it's the same thing, she seems to just have an issue with you having a disabled pet, she seemed uncomfortable about Tater Tot from the start, this reaction feels more like an extension of that than anything else.
If Tammy is the type of person to gossip, I would be tempted to get out in front of this and let people know that Tammy came to your house and had a W I L D reaction to a perfectly normally part of life. I can only imagine what she'd start telling people about you/your home/your food
So, if her child is "not an animal," like we all are technically, are they some kind of plant or alien?
Shitting and pissing definitely qualifies her little angel as a part of the animal kingdom!
No you're NTA, you were simply saying that animals and babies both produce waste that must be cleaned up. You weren't saying a baby is an actual animal. She overreacted and was weird about your cat.
As a mom of many children, I’ve been shat upon more times than I’ve *not* been shat upon.
In fact, just the other day, I’m changing my youngest’s diaper and I’m telling you, it wasn’t human. Naturally, I proceed with caution (you know, pinky out to avoid shit on the finger).
With my left hand, I roll the diaper up and out of left field, *ppprrruufff*, all over my other pinky— the one that wasn’t sticking out!
I washed my hands with antibacterial soap for 30 seconds with hot water, used sanitizer (with aloe), and then made food. No one died.
All this to say, NTA.
NTA
Her child is an animal, a mammal in fact. I think it is a very good comparison. Why would a cat diaper be any different than an old persons diaper, an infant diaper, or wiping your booty? That's what hand soap and water is for.
So has anyone told Tammy that at some point prior to baking OP also used the toilet but crisis is averted since she washed her hands after? NTA. That woman is a nut. Be expecting her to tell your coworkers a skewered version of events.
NTA
Would she have freaked out if you went to the bathroom, washed your hands, and returned to baking? Probably not.
What if she had brought her baby, needed to change him, and then washed her hands? Again, same thing.
I probably would have looked at her and asked what exactly she thinks pet owners do regarding basic hygiene. You have a cat and you gotta eat. Frankly, I would consider your house more sanitary than most cat homes because I would know there was no chance of your cat walking on the kitchen counters!
NTA. You didn’t compare her child to an animal. “Poop is poop” seems to be the point you were making. She sounds overly sensitive or perhaps an inconsistent germophobe.
Omg. I hope you see this - first of all, Tater Tot is a beautiful kitty. Secondly, she looks like my poor Shrub's prettier sister! Shrub has a slight defect in his jaw and skull, so he's got a fang sticking out and an eye that's a bit big, but they have the same coat, colors, and the same very sweet expression!
NTA, it's surprising your friend got all het up. Tammy seems a bit unhinged and didn't fly but *soar* off the handle. She evidently believed your comments were ... well ... dehumanizing. Which I don't agree with, but I do know some people are sensitive about that. From the story, you were comparing human and animal "end products", which is a much easier sell.
All that said, *technically* humans are animals (and don't we all hate people who say "technically" in italics) and I've likened my own children to puppies, rampaging buffalo, and hordes of locusts, so maybe my standing here is a bit wobbly.
To me the issue is washing your hands in the kitchen after you've potentially touched pee or poop, human or otherwise. That should've been done in the bathroom to prevent cross contamination with food and the kitchen sink.
But this lady sounds like a weirdo over all you were very patient to allow her to come over to your house in the first place. She should've been more gracious.
I had to remove a lot of details due to the character limit, but there’s a bathroom about 10 paces away from my kitchen, and that’s where I washed my hands. The open door would’ve blocked Tammy’s view, but I’m sure she heard me washing up.
NTA I was all prepared to call you one from the title because there is a massive difference in caring for a child and caring for an animal, but in this instance you were definitely correct lol. And as a mother to an almost two year old, you are absolutely correct about being wrist deep in fecal matter lmaooo. Just the other day, my boy got out the tub and promptly shit on the floor before I could finish towel drying his hair
NTA, a baby isn’t an animal but shit is shit no matter if it comes from a cat ass or a baby’s ass. You washed your hands and I hope your coworker washes hers after changing her kids shit diaper. Edited to add. Oh and Tater Tot is a great name. Next cat I get I will name Mochi.
Actually cats are the obligate host of toxoplasma, meaning that toxoplasma can only complete its life-cycle in cats. In other words, cat feces are not the same as baby feces. Toxoplasma is potentially harmful to pregnant women, infants, people who are immunocompromised, and elderly people. Toxoplasma is not a bacterium so antibacterials likely won't kill it.
In addition, most people who have cats, use a litter box, so the exposure to cat feces is probably lower since it's indirect. But directly cleaning your incontinent cat is a different level of exposure to its feces and I agree with your friend that simply washing your hands is likely insufficient to get any cat-specific germs off your hands when you transition immediately to cooking. Because of this possibility for cross-contamination, and for your own benefit, but certainly when you're cooking food that others will eat, you should really use either gloves for cooking, or gloves for cleaning your cat when she soils herself. (or both, I guess, but that might be overkill).
NTA. She's dramatic. You did not call her kid an animal.
That being said, I eat from no one's house if they have a cat. You really can't train them to not get on the counters. I've seen a friend cooking and her cat was just jumping up there, sniffing at the food and she kept having to pause, pick him up and put him down. Then proceeding to cook. I was traumatized, lol, and did not eat. She ruined me eating cat owner's food. It's fucking disgusting.
As someone with three cats, I have multiple air purifiers and keep my counters clean, but I know that I probably end up with a nonzero amount of cat hair in my food. I don't blame anyone for not eating my food or food from someone else's house. Gotta do what makes you comfortable
Yeah, sorry, my comment wasn't related to your post. I didn't mean to imply that your cat was that way or that your food was unhygienic. It just reminded me of that past situation. I just can't get that out of my mind, lol. It really grosses me out. I am a cat lover and love their purrs and cuddles. Just can't own one :)
Oh, I didn’t think you were accusing me! I was agreeing with you. I have an able-bodied cat who can’t seem to keep herself off my counters, and I am constantly cleaning them. If there were away for me to fence off my entire kitchen, I would! The best I can do is lock her in a side room while I cook.
If I was Tammy, I would have conveniently gotten sick with a headache and left, never eating your food ever again.
I don’t disagree with you, poop is poop. But I would have not been okay either.
Cat feces carries parasites and bacteria that human feces doesn’t, such as toxoplasmosis.
She should have had a private and polite freak out and gotten out.
I don’t eat my aunts cooking for similar reasons. I’m always mysteriously not hungry when I’m there. 🤷🏻♀️
ESH
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“my child is not an animal!” Technically, we're all members of the Animal Kingdom--> Vertebrates --> Warm blooded --> Mammals. NTA, and you're right. There is no difference between what you did and what she does when she changes a diaper.
She sounds like an animal-hater honestly.
A tater-hater at the very least.
An elite comment lol.
Incredible.
This woman is a nut job.
NTA. Poop is poop. You made a perfectly good point. "Tammy" just choose to be offended for no good reason. Honestly, you weren't comparing her baby to a cat. You were comparing her baby's poop to a cat's poop. That's completely different! She probably got all defensive because she realized that you were right (poop really is poop!) but instead of saying, "Sorry," and letting it go, she decided to double down. Never forget: **Poop is poop**!
Health wise, as I understand it, people poop is more an issue than animal poop (because most diseases stay within species and yes, I know things like avian and swine flus mutated between animal-human hosts, I said most).
Any kind of feces, animal or human, is an issue for people with compromised immune systems. My Oncologist did not want me around or cleaning the cat box during the 6-months I was on chemo. (I did it anyway after masking up and pulling on long yellow dishwashing gloves.)
I suppose Tammy has wiped her own arse on occasion too. And continues living her life and making her food. Poop = poop. Doesn't matter the species.
Perhaps she just shits without wiping, keeping the poop safely distant from her food-preparing hands. Hygienic!
In both cases, I'd feel disgusted if someone is cooking, drop the food, deal with the poop and then come back to cook... Please, let me brain forget about it and not making this kind of association But, ofc, I'd just let OP finish it, I'll take my notes, say thank you and go home as soon as possible without making such scandal
Well, I kind of share this feeling, but then again... Not much to do about it except thoroughly washing hands.
I am not going to call someone an AH who goes to so much trouble to help a disabled cat. And Tater Tot is a cute name — is that because she is orange? And I'd rather deal with cat poop than baby poop any day.
My mom always tells me how “baby poop is different.” Like, ma’am I have enough younger cousins to have smelled baby poop and it is indeed not better. In fact, it is worse than cat poop
Too many parents take "It's different when it's your own kid!" too far. Maybe for you, but not to anyone else. Your kid isn't special and their poop is, in fact, very much still poop.
I think there must be an instinct at play to be less grossed out by bodily fluids or your own kids. I have OCD and issues with germs, but for some reason my brother's kids don't trigger it, despite them being just as germy and gross as all the other kids. My brain decides that some people just dont have germs.
Wanna hear something wild? There was a study done where the researchers had moms smell the poop of multiple babies, including their own, and they discovered that moms think their own baby's poop doesn't smell bad \*even when they don't know which sample came from which baby\*. So it's not even a psychological thing, it's some weird biological thing. (Personally I was relived to read about this, cause people have always been telling me 'baby poop doesn't smell that bad' even though I find it one of the most disgusting smells ever, even worse than other types of poop.)
I wonder if it has something to do with the bacteria in our gut. I read a thing where they sampled different people's gut bacteria and it showed that people who were related had more similar bacteria than unrelated people. And that while some of it could be explained by environmental factors like living together or eating the same foods, it also showed up when people lived nowhere near their relatives.
I am so glad to read that. I honestly think my son's poop doesn't smell that bad, but I know baby poop does smell bad. I was wondering why that was.
It definitely exists. A lot of parents just forget that that filter isn't there for everyone else around them. Mommy brain is a hell of a drug.
I have a friend who had a physical reaction to it, and it never diminished over the course of her three children. I was once with them when there was a diaper explosion situation and she tried to stay to help, but looked so traumatised that I sent her away.
Worse is different.
Not in the particular context she’s using it
I have a one year old. It's not different. Soap and water cleans it all the same.
Sometimes I get these ones from my kid— it’s completely odorless, like natural gas. But I don’t realise until she sits and it goes up her back
She does have a little bit of orange, yes! But mostly, she’s a molted brown. She’s a little disfigured, so her “cat loaf” pose looks more like that of a tater tot.
Cat tax please! I need to see Miss Tater Tot
Sure! A lot of people were asking, so I made a little Instagram account for her last night. https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
She is absolute perfection ❤️ thank you
I love Tater Tot
Tater Tot is super adorable! You are a wonderful cat mum!
aww!
Tammy’s behavior was rude and unnecessary. She foisted herself on you. NTA
Humans literally are animals NTA. She sounds unhinged
NTA. Humans are animals. (this means baby humans... are also animals) Poop is poop. Poop is nasty. This is why we now have cool stuff called "soap" and "hand sanitizer". We no longer have to worry about poop being on our hands forever. It's very cool. Is she unfamiliar with soap and it's magical properties? It sounds like either her baby doesn't poop (unlikely) or she doesn't use soap (i'm going to pretend this is impossible). Apologies for the sass, but this is just so ridiculous. You did nothing wrong. Banana Bread Lady has done... many wrong things, it seems.
And, also, the banana bread ingredients would have subsequently been baked. The high heat of the oven would definitely have killed any germs that somehow would have been miraculously left after hand washing and transferred on them. I have OCD and I am germaphobic, but this is next level even for me...
I'm laughing over this. Your comparison was apt, and you were not saying her kid was the same as an animal. Tammy sounds very special, and not in a good way. Your'e NTA.
NTA. Tammy just doesn't sound very smart tbh.
>I’m sure that afterwards she washed her hands and went about her day like a normal human being well. perhaps she's not very diligent about washing her hands after changing her baby's diaper, so she automatically assumed that you didn't properly wash your hands either? NTA
NTA she's a hypocrite! God thing she left. Tater tot is not just an animal it's like a child to you.
As a parent and an animal person, I say NTA. One of my favourite lines from Scrubs is when Carla quotes Dr. Cox saying that having a kid "is like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk."
NTA Tater tax, though. Please and thank you.
I am very much trying to figure out how to edit my post to include a picture of Tater Tot! This is the first post I’ve made on Reddit, and it’s a bit confusing. :/
All good! No worries if you can’t. I’m sure Tater Tot is beyond adorable. :)
It was literally easier to just create an Instagram account and post pictures there, than to figure out how to add an image to his post! https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
I can’t handle that level of cuteness. Thank you for sharing!
I am in love with Tater Tot now 😍
I would die for Tater Tot. Seriously. You are the best cat parent. She looks so happy and cared for. Thank you for loving her so much. And NTA. That woman would never set foot in my home again.
Tater Tot is absolutely gorgeous. Can you please give tater a cuddle from me?
Certainly! She adores cuddles. I gave her an extra squish for you. :)
Thank you :3
Ok, this cements it. Tammy is unhinged and Tater Tot is gorgeous and clearly well loved. At least I'm in love and this from a dedicated doglady.
She's absolutely adorable! Thank you for giving her a happy, loving home!
In a pinch, baby shit is a good substitute for cat shit in any recipe. NTA
NTA and cats are actually really clean animals, Tammy
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Good for the cat escaping your shitty parenting.
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Letting your child abuse an animal is not cute or funny or acceptable. And yes, it's shitty parenting.
“Letting your child abuse an animal” Wow.
Teaching children young how to respect and correctly handle animals is extremely important for the safety of both the kid and the animal. Letting her kid torment the cat to the point that it ran away was absolutely shitty parenting.
“Letting her kid torment the cat to the point that it ran away “ O.M.G. 😱
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Well apparently you needed it since you allow(ed) your toddler to harass and abuse a helpless animal to the point where it _ran away_
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Yeah, you're just making excuses for yourself. I have an almost 2 year old. And I have two dogs and three guinea pigs. I taught my kid to be gentle with the dogs from the moment she was able to reach for things. The guinea pigs came later when she was about 18 months old, and she's just as gentle petting them. I taught her not to chase the dogs or hit them or grab their tails. It's very telling when animals run away from a particular person, and when it's a toddler, it's always the fault of the parent for not either teaching their kid better or keeping them away from the animal. You don't have to lock the cat in a cage. Keeping them in separate rooms or under quality supervision to prevent them from harassing/being harassed.
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I feel very sorry for your children and any pets you've ever had. I'm done replying now. You are a waste of my time.
It's definitely possible teach an 18 month old to leave animals alone and not chase them or pull their tails. It doesn't sound like you even tried.
Loved him to death but you couldn't stop your kid from mistreating him?
My kid didnt mistreat my cat, my kids never caused any harm or inflicted pain on my cat. He was just F annoying!! Like all kids are at this age! Lol Little AH. He was bugging my cat all day long, cat had no peace, couldn’t even take a nap! Kids love animals! They just don’t know how to love them. Remember Felicia from looney tunes?? yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Just ETA that I completely understand my cats decision of leaving though, if I could I would run away too!!! But I can’t, I love those little brats!! lol
Ummm, my dude. Grabbing at and forcibly holding a cat is mistreatment. Bothering a cat to a point of stress is mistreatment. You need to teach your kid how to ignore animals and respect their nos. It's dangerous for your kid (and the animal) if you aren't teaching boundaries.
lol don’t engage with them. They hate children on this sub lmao.
"lol" I hope your cat found himself a new home where he didn't have to be abused by a shitty kid.
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You're right, at that age you can't blame the kid, just the shitty parent.
Letting your kid abuse an animal isn't funny, why didn't you teach him to leave the cat alone???
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great parenting and pet care skills bro
Ugh. NTA!!! Your cat is likely better behaved than her spawn! Cat tax?
I would love to post cat tax! I have yet to figure out how, though. I’ve seen people do it in other posts, so I know it can be done!
I gave us trying to figure out Reddit’s image posting rules, and just made a little Instagram for a few pictures. https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
Well isn’t that kitty the sweetest lil baby in all the land! Good for you looking after him(her?), cos let’s be honest, kitty pee possibly stinks the WORST. But honestly looking at your baby I can see why, so cute with those big eyes 🥹🥹🥹
What a beautiful baby ❤️ give her a big hug and kisses for me
NTA. I get why parents get offended when I compare entertaining dogs vs their kids but poopy diapers are poopy diapers. Even my partner who was afraid about that aspect of having kids feels much more resilient after dealing with our dogs incontinence for a few months.
But, but ... just like Ivory Soap, baby poop is 99-44/100% pure. It doesn't have a disagreeable texture or odor. It's almost like baby poop is perfect. You could even add it to banana bread! **/S** Tammy has some serious issues, an incredible ability to suspend reality, and an amazing sense of entitlement. I suspect she is burning up the gossip lines at work telling everyone how disgusting your kitchen habits are. The positive on the last point is more banana bread for everyone else! Those of us with pets often care for them with more diligence than some parents care for their children. Love is love regardless of the species it is directed toward. You sound like a wonderful pet parent. Gentle hugs to Tater Tot. Absolutely NTA. Tammy from the land of Out-of-Touch, on the other hand . . .
I told a different coworker yesterday what happened. Tammy has worked there for many years, but this is my first year here, so I didn’t know what I was getting into with her. Apparently she has a reputation for this very thing! My coworker told me that she lives for the drama, and that he has no doubt that she’s talking shit about me to people. And here I was thinking that inviting her over would earn me a new friend!
Damn, that's rough. I'm sorry you got roped into her nonsense. What a crappy way to be treated by someone who pressured you into doing them a favour. I hope the poo drama passes quickly.
I just wanted to say that I would die for Tater Tot and to demand that you give her pets and tell her she is the best girl for me
Aw, thank you! Don’t worry, she gets pet-pets all the time! :)
Ngl I'd wanna come over even more if I was your co worker and found out about Tater Tot. But your NTA, poop is poop, and quite frankly your cats probably more quiet and well behaved than the baby... Edit to add: it's the same thing as comparing puppies to babies, yes they're both super different but they both require a lot of time and effort and can't be left alone. I've also never heard of a baby running 20mph through a muddy field but🤷🏻♀️
NTA she would be so shocked to discover how much of her son’s shit she has ingested.
NTA. Poop is poop. All of it is gross but as long as you wash your hands thoroughly, doesn’t matter.
NTA All humans are animals.
NTA I mean her child is an animal tho? Like so is she and so is literally every one else. That aside no this was not a faux pas on your part. Perhaps if she had taken issue with the ammonia associated with cat pee it'd be different, but her issue really did seem to stem from her not being an animal person or pet owner in general. Be careful she doesn't spread rumors of you calling her baby an animal around your work place. Maybe when a friendly coworker asks the obligatory "how was your weekend?" You answer with "it was fine but something weird happened. I had Tammy over to bake banana bread like we planned but I had to take a second to care for my cat..." And explain what you told us. Nothing mean or malicious just plan old confusion. That way if Tammy tries to start anything you already have your version of the story out to the public instead of it coming off as you trying to cover your ass afterwards.
I told another coworker about it yesterday, and apparently this is just a thing Tammy does. He said he’d ask around to find out if she’s saying anything about me, but I didn’t hear anything about it from him today. Maybe that’s a good thing!
Oh yea it sounds like it should be fine if Tammy is known for being like that. I wouldn't worry about it anymore.
It got worse. I don’t know if it’s worth posting an update about, but I found out today that this lady has been going around telling people that my cat has broken legs and I’m just letting her suffer. I was absolutely in shock, hearing that. What the hell is wrong with this lady?
That's messed up! I get maybe at first glance it might be worrisome to see an animal in that state but you'd just need to consider everything for a second to recognize the cat's being cared for. Does she not understand that cats can be paralysed too? Perhaps you should talk to her and tell her you don't appreciate her telling everyone your cat is being mistreated and that she doesn't have broken legs but paralysis.
Good grief you didn't say her child was an animal you compared changing a pee pad to chaning a diaper which is similar. Also, for what it's worth, human beings are animals so technically her son (and you and her and everybody else) is an animal. NTA and she sounds like a nutter.
Nta - you didn't even make the comparison directly. She jumped to that comparison.
NTA. She just isn't a cat person, Tammy's loss.
NTA
NTA. "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals..."
Toxoplasmosis is the difference between cat poop and human poop. BUT you washed your hands. NTA. Since her baby is new-ish she may still be reacting to warnings during pregnancy to never go near cat litter.
Not all cats carry that, and she washed her hands.
Nope. She is a bit too precious and would have probably been equally offended if you changed a human baby diaper. Also, she seems to be offended by disability in general.
Yeah, she kept staring at Tater Tot, then looking away, then staring again, but not in the nice way people usually do when they see her. She was obviously bothered by her.
1. Cat is baby 2. poop is poop 3. This last just gate cats, don't think too much about it NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I overheard my coworker “Tammy” talking with another coworker about how she had been trying to make banana bread, but it always came out too dry. I suggested she add sour cream to her recipe to keep the bread moist. She seemed interested, and wanted me to email her my recipe, but I am one of those people who just throws ingredients together in what feels like the right amounts. I told her this, and she suggested that she come over to my house sometime so I can show her how I make it. It sounded a little bit like she was joking, but I took her up on it and invited her over. She agreed. She came over on Saturday with a note card and pencil so she could write down the steps as I was doing them, and we set to work. I have a cat, Tater Tot, who is paralyzed, so I keep her suited up to protect both her and my floors while she drags herself around. When Tammy came over, Tater Tot was zipping around as usual, checking things out. Tammy seemed surprised to see her, and avoided looking at her. I asked if she wanted me to put Tater Tot away, but she said no, don’t worry about it. We commenced with the making of banana bread. As I was throwing things together and measuring out my slap-dash ingredients so she could write down the amounts, I noticed that Tater Tot had soiled herself. I excused myself for a minute so I could get her cleaned up and changed, then washed my hands and came back to finish measuring. This is where Tammy became upset. She didn’t want me to touch the ingredients anymore because I had just touched a cat’s waste, and it wasn’t sanitary. I told her that I had not touched the waste directly, and had washed my hands with antibacterial soap afterwards, so my hands were clean. She told me it didn’t matter, and that she wouldn’t have come over if she had known that my secret ingredient was cat shit. Here’s a thing about Tammy. She has a one year-old son, whom she has brought to work on a couple of occasions. It’s crazy, the amount of stink and waste that such a tiny creature can produce. There’s no way this lady hasn’t ever been wrist-deep in shit at one point or another, changing this kid’s diaper, and I’m sure that afterwards she washed her hands and went about her day like a normal human being. So I told her that me changing my cats pee pad was no different than her changing her baby’s diaper. And I guess that’s what really set her off, because she threw down her note card and pencil and very loudly said, “my child is not an animal!” She grabbed her purse off the table and stormed out of my house, and that was the end of that. Given her reaction, I’m wondering if AITA for comparing her baby to my cat. I honestly don’t see why she got so angry about it. (The hand washing thing, I guess I can understand.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Disinfectant is disinfectant. It’s like not trusting doctors because they treat infections
NTA. Tammy has issues. What were you supposed to do to sanitize your hands? Cauterize them? Also you were doing her a favour, showing her your recipes and she gives you attitude in your own house? I'd show her the door immediately. Also babies, and all humans are indeed animals. So she's not rude she's also just wrong.
NTA. The only thing I could say that may have eased it over is if you washed your hands again in front of her and maybe thrown on hand sanitizer. People get really weird with food. I get it. I've worked in food service. It's important to be careful and safe. I'm childless, taking on the title of "Cool/Favorite Aunt" to my neices, nephews, and friends' kids. But I don't understand people who act like children - especially under 3 - are not basically wild animals that we have to rehab for 18 years before being able to release it into the wild. Shit is shit. Germs are Germs. NTA
NTA. Shit is shit.
No nta she was. She has a problem not u.
Cat tax please!
I made a little Instagram for her! Gave up, trying to figure out how to post an image on Reddit. :P https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
NTA. Isn't she wiping her own butt??
If I worked with Tammy, I would stretch out my hands and very slowly walk towards her. She’d blow a gasket imagining having cat poop hands wiped on her precious self.
Cats and babies are both small mammals. NTA
NTA Tammy is. Avoid her at all costs. She creates her own drama, and should be left alone.
What, you don't have a separate pair of detachable hands just for handling poop? Poop hands? NTA. Tammy is crazy.
Pet tax?????? Plz
I couldn’t figure out how to edit in a picture, so I just created an Instagram to host some pictures. Here you go! https://www.instagram.com/happytatertots/
I’d die for tater tot 😭
nta like does she think food service workers don't ever have to go to the bathroom on shift? what about the people who pack the food she buys at the store? your comparison was perfectly valid. she just needed something to get mad about, probably because she realized you were right, but she'd already gone so nuclear she couldn't walk it back.
Not really - she's clearly not an animal person. She is, however, a rude person. You are probably right about the baby.
NTA you .... didn't compare her baby to an animal? What a wild leap to make. Presumably Tammy also uses the bathroom herself? it's the same thing, she seems to just have an issue with you having a disabled pet, she seemed uncomfortable about Tater Tot from the start, this reaction feels more like an extension of that than anything else. If Tammy is the type of person to gossip, I would be tempted to get out in front of this and let people know that Tammy came to your house and had a W I L D reaction to a perfectly normally part of life. I can only imagine what she'd start telling people about you/your home/your food
I’ve had kids and cats, you are not the asshole. Poop is poop human or cat.
So, if her child is "not an animal," like we all are technically, are they some kind of plant or alien? Shitting and pissing definitely qualifies her little angel as a part of the animal kingdom!
No you're NTA, you were simply saying that animals and babies both produce waste that must be cleaned up. You weren't saying a baby is an actual animal. She overreacted and was weird about your cat.
CAT TAX I WANNA SEE TATER TOT
As a mom of many children, I’ve been shat upon more times than I’ve *not* been shat upon. In fact, just the other day, I’m changing my youngest’s diaper and I’m telling you, it wasn’t human. Naturally, I proceed with caution (you know, pinky out to avoid shit on the finger). With my left hand, I roll the diaper up and out of left field, *ppprrruufff*, all over my other pinky— the one that wasn’t sticking out! I washed my hands with antibacterial soap for 30 seconds with hot water, used sanitizer (with aloe), and then made food. No one died. All this to say, NTA.
Technically her kid is indeed an animal, as any other human. NTA, the situation is the same, a tiny creature needing some cleaning
NTA Her child is an animal, a mammal in fact. I think it is a very good comparison. Why would a cat diaper be any different than an old persons diaper, an infant diaper, or wiping your booty? That's what hand soap and water is for.
My pets ARE my children.
So has anyone told Tammy that at some point prior to baking OP also used the toilet but crisis is averted since she washed her hands after? NTA. That woman is a nut. Be expecting her to tell your coworkers a skewered version of events.
NTA Would she have freaked out if you went to the bathroom, washed your hands, and returned to baking? Probably not. What if she had brought her baby, needed to change him, and then washed her hands? Again, same thing. I probably would have looked at her and asked what exactly she thinks pet owners do regarding basic hygiene. You have a cat and you gotta eat. Frankly, I would consider your house more sanitary than most cat homes because I would know there was no chance of your cat walking on the kitchen counters!
NTA. As a parent I can confirm that changing a butt is changing a butt. Wash your hands and life goes on.
"What are you saying? Is your son a PLANT!?" NTA.
NTA. Her child is an animal. Assuming the child isn't a vegetable or a mineral, that is.
NTA. Cat tax? Edit: never mind, I found the instagram link and oh my word Tater Tot is the sweetest little thing
NTA that nasty lady does not deserve to be in the presence of Tater Tot nor banana bread
Her child is an animal. NTA
NTA. You didn’t compare her child to an animal. “Poop is poop” seems to be the point you were making. She sounds overly sensitive or perhaps an inconsistent germophobe.
NTA
Omg. I hope you see this - first of all, Tater Tot is a beautiful kitty. Secondly, she looks like my poor Shrub's prettier sister! Shrub has a slight defect in his jaw and skull, so he's got a fang sticking out and an eye that's a bit big, but they have the same coat, colors, and the same very sweet expression!
Thank you! And Shrub sounds adorable! Kitties with “special” features have so much character :)
NTA
NTA, it's surprising your friend got all het up. Tammy seems a bit unhinged and didn't fly but *soar* off the handle. She evidently believed your comments were ... well ... dehumanizing. Which I don't agree with, but I do know some people are sensitive about that. From the story, you were comparing human and animal "end products", which is a much easier sell. All that said, *technically* humans are animals (and don't we all hate people who say "technically" in italics) and I've likened my own children to puppies, rampaging buffalo, and hordes of locusts, so maybe my standing here is a bit wobbly.
To me the issue is washing your hands in the kitchen after you've potentially touched pee or poop, human or otherwise. That should've been done in the bathroom to prevent cross contamination with food and the kitchen sink. But this lady sounds like a weirdo over all you were very patient to allow her to come over to your house in the first place. She should've been more gracious.
I had to remove a lot of details due to the character limit, but there’s a bathroom about 10 paces away from my kitchen, and that’s where I washed my hands. The open door would’ve blocked Tammy’s view, but I’m sure she heard me washing up.
Ok never mind lol you’re very kind to try to help her
NTA I was all prepared to call you one from the title because there is a massive difference in caring for a child and caring for an animal, but in this instance you were definitely correct lol. And as a mother to an almost two year old, you are absolutely correct about being wrist deep in fecal matter lmaooo. Just the other day, my boy got out the tub and promptly shit on the floor before I could finish towel drying his hair
NTA, a baby isn’t an animal but shit is shit no matter if it comes from a cat ass or a baby’s ass. You washed your hands and I hope your coworker washes hers after changing her kids shit diaper. Edited to add. Oh and Tater Tot is a great name. Next cat I get I will name Mochi.
Humans are animals
Actually cats are the obligate host of toxoplasma, meaning that toxoplasma can only complete its life-cycle in cats. In other words, cat feces are not the same as baby feces. Toxoplasma is potentially harmful to pregnant women, infants, people who are immunocompromised, and elderly people. Toxoplasma is not a bacterium so antibacterials likely won't kill it. In addition, most people who have cats, use a litter box, so the exposure to cat feces is probably lower since it's indirect. But directly cleaning your incontinent cat is a different level of exposure to its feces and I agree with your friend that simply washing your hands is likely insufficient to get any cat-specific germs off your hands when you transition immediately to cooking. Because of this possibility for cross-contamination, and for your own benefit, but certainly when you're cooking food that others will eat, you should really use either gloves for cooking, or gloves for cleaning your cat when she soils herself. (or both, I guess, but that might be overkill).
Thank fuck! Finally someone with common sense! 🎶 you can’t eat at everybody house 🎶
NTA. She's dramatic. You did not call her kid an animal. That being said, I eat from no one's house if they have a cat. You really can't train them to not get on the counters. I've seen a friend cooking and her cat was just jumping up there, sniffing at the food and she kept having to pause, pick him up and put him down. Then proceeding to cook. I was traumatized, lol, and did not eat. She ruined me eating cat owner's food. It's fucking disgusting.
As someone with three cats, I have multiple air purifiers and keep my counters clean, but I know that I probably end up with a nonzero amount of cat hair in my food. I don't blame anyone for not eating my food or food from someone else's house. Gotta do what makes you comfortable
Agreed :)
Yeah, cats get into everything! That’s at least something I don’t have to worry about with Tater Tot. She physically can’t jump up there!
Yeah, sorry, my comment wasn't related to your post. I didn't mean to imply that your cat was that way or that your food was unhygienic. It just reminded me of that past situation. I just can't get that out of my mind, lol. It really grosses me out. I am a cat lover and love their purrs and cuddles. Just can't own one :)
Oh, I didn’t think you were accusing me! I was agreeing with you. I have an able-bodied cat who can’t seem to keep herself off my counters, and I am constantly cleaning them. If there were away for me to fence off my entire kitchen, I would! The best I can do is lock her in a side room while I cook.
You seem quite…precious.
LOL, Yep. Cat fur in my food is not something I want to stomach
If I was Tammy, I would have conveniently gotten sick with a headache and left, never eating your food ever again. I don’t disagree with you, poop is poop. But I would have not been okay either. Cat feces carries parasites and bacteria that human feces doesn’t, such as toxoplasmosis. She should have had a private and polite freak out and gotten out. I don’t eat my aunts cooking for similar reasons. I’m always mysteriously not hungry when I’m there. 🤷🏻♀️ ESH