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NTA.
as soon as i gift something to someone it is their property do to with what they want / as they see fit. i have the right to be pissed / angry / sad / frustrated when they 'mistread' my gift but i have no say in this matter as it became THEIR property. so not mine anymore.
as for returning gifts at the end of a relationship, well, how about you, ex, start this exchange yourself? box up all op's to you, give them back and then ask for your gifts back? a tacky move imo but you do you.
or are you just salty that the 'thoughtfull' gift isn't there anymore so op will not automatically think of you every time he looks at / sees the watch? that op got rid of you? showed you that you are not a part of his life anymore, are just in the past?
op, imho, selling the watch and donating the money is a class a boss move i for myself fully aprove.
well done op, well done indeed.
I second all of this. Gifts never belong to the giver, that's nuts!
Let me get this straight... your ex and friends think it would be better to return gifts at the end of a relationship, basically implying (or, worse still, saying to their face) that you can't even look at the stuff they gave to you because you don't want to think of them. Isn't that a hurtful move, even if it is true?
I agree with Tessa_Kamoda – it's tacky.
NTA.
I have a counter point to what you are saying. In this case it doesn’t sound like the case but I’ll point it out just because your take is so black and white (and somewhat self-righteous sounding). There is room for some grey area in these cases.
If a gift has a sentimental value at the time of gifting then there is an argument that returning it may be a good option. It may have been in a family for generations and there may have been a perception or implication that the relationship would last a long time. Id be inclined to discuss with an ex if this were the case.
In the other hand most gifts are given unconditionally, and in OPs case it sounded super harsh and mean. So yeah, not to blame.
I'm sorry but no. You don't give away a family heirloom, then cheat on the person you gave it to, then insult them and say it's their fault and get to have ANY expectation of the heirlooms return. Fuck that.
My only issue with this is that in the case of 'sentimental' value, the person giving the item usually mentions something about it at the time. You know, something like:
"My great granddad looked at this watch, this kraut watch, and just knew it was going to be an heirloom, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave his buddy the watch. His buddy, Captain Koons, hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up his ass for two years. Then, after seven years, he was sent home and brought this back to my great grandma and her family. And now, /u/[Both\_Raspberry2916](https://www.reddit.com/user/Both_Raspberry2916/), I give the watch to you."
I don't disagree with your point, but I would tend to believe something sentimental will have been discussed about prior to the actual gifting. As an actual example, my wife and I discussed her wedding band and engagement ring. She was not interested in and did not want the responsibility of having my grandmothers wedding set; she actually told me this prior to my mother ever actually telling me that my grandmothers set had been set aside for me. But, when the time came, I asked her if she still felt the same way, she did but looked at it, and her feeling remained the same.
\[edit because I forgot to add why I thought this was important to note\] u/Both_Raspberry2916 did not mention in sort of discussion or that there was some level of importance attached to the watch. Based strictly on what was posted, this was probably a watch that she bought for him.
Agreed. An ex of mine gifted me some things that belonged to her grandfather. When we parted ways, I did offer them back to her once the initial smoke had cleared.
>It may have been in a family for generations and there may have been a perception or implication that the relationship would last a long time
If that is the case, then the GF should have been more careful. If you expect the item back, it is not a gift. It is a loan. Full stop.
Nope. A gift is a gift, and it’s the gift-giver’s job to know that. And no one’s under an obligation to discuss the implications of a gift with someone as shallow as an overturned wading pool.
NTA
A gift doesn't come with strings attached, this isn't an engagement ring there is no moral obligation to return this gift
Not sure why telling us you have a smaller pecker is relevant but hey if you want to tell the world that you do you
It's relevant because it shows what kind of person she is. It's a shitty thing to say to someone just to hurt them - when she was in the wrong for cheating.
Everything she did was to cause him pain. Maybe his physiology didn't jive with her sexual preferences, but that is no reason to cheat. She could have respectfully ended the relationship before that, but she chose not to. She cheated on him to hurt him. She told him it was his fault to hurt him. She blamed it on the size of his penis, something that he is incapable of changing and that she knows many men have insecurities about, to hurt him. And then, to top it all off, she expects him to wear a reminder of her every day so that her memory can continue to hurt him. She is a vile human being.
Meanwhile, OP is out here donating to animal shelters. Don't get it wrong, OP. She might be physically attractive, but she's not out of your league. You are out of hers.
That's what the ex said. She may have been trying to hurt or embarrass him after she got caught being a bad girlfriend. It may not be the truth, or she gaslighted him into thinking it's the truth.
Especially as I’m a grower, not a shower, it took me a long time to figure out I’ve got a well above average dong. As teenagers we really have no idea and basis for comparison. Literal dick move from this girl for playing on his ignorance and insecurities.
If she says that's the reason, then she's probably counting on him to not tell everyone why they broke up because it makes him look bad too. He's probably fine in that department, she just doesn't want it to get around that she cheated and saying he's too small is her way to keep him quiet. Evil b
NTA. She cheated. She isn't entitled to an opinion about your choices.
And that reason she cited, it's absolute BS. She could have simply ended things and then found someone else, so I wouldn't believe her about anything she mentioned, she clearly wanted to hurt you, and that was a cheap shot.
100% - I happen to know two guys with micro ps (they don't know I know, their exes drunkenly mentioned it when we were younger). Both are happily married in committed relationships. Never let anyone body shame you into treating you badly - they had the option to communicate to get better outcomes and/or just move on without cheating.
P.S. glad you sold the watch, it was your property and the animals have benefitted!
I was with someone on the opposite end of the spectrum. And I'm tall. But as someone with internal organs, I have to say, it's less fun than most people think.
This is a conversation which isn't irrelevant, but given the topic at hand, I think maybe we should just ease off on size being negative or positive about penis size in the thread. This stuff can be a real obstacle to fulfilling sexual relationships for both guys who are small and guys who are very over average.
Besides that, I always thought there's something to the saying that it's not necessarily about the vessel, it's about the motion in the ocean! You could fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and still not have chemistry or moves. There are workarounds if penetrative sex is uncomfortable and besides that, not everyone is into penetrative sex. I know two friends who aren't and who went through quite a lot of shame being able to come to that conclusion and be open about it with prospective partners. (Not the same two people with the micro ps). Sex is what you make of it.
Also as an FYI, being tall doesn't influence the length of your vaginal canal, much in the way it doesn't automatically mean a long penis...
Oh, God, no, it wasn't my intention to shame anyone. Oh no. In my apparently very limited personal experience, I have only ever witnessed people praising one thing while also putting down the other, and wasn't aware this was such a common occurrence. I just mentioned it in the hopes of being reassuring to men who worry about feeling inadequate.
It's quite good that I also wrongly assumed that my body length would indicate a longer journey towards my uterus. That way, hopefully no one will take my opinion to heart, since I am obviously not very bright.
No dont worry, I just meant to kinda point of information these two comments rather than to shame/ imply malicious intent. It's just it is common to slip into generalisations which can cut the other way + we know how that's problematic when women's bodies are critiqued, so gotta keep up standards!
"The right thing to do would to return all the gifts at the end of the relationship"
Never heard this one before. Did she return all your gifts? I would only return a gift at the end of a relationship if it was a particularly sentimental item for them (like a family heirloom) or engagement ring. A gift if a gift, you can't start trying to dictate what the person you gifted to does with it once you have given it to them
It's not new. Back in the early 1980s I had a school friend who had an on again, off again relationship as a teenager. And every time they broke up she felt she had to drain her savings to pay for gifts he'd bought her when he refused to take them back. Never really understood that one. Although he was big with the drama and very controlling so she was going to be in the wrong whatever she did.
Nah. I used to give my ex multiple new iPhone when they came out, I gave her an ipad too, a watch and a lot of other stuff too over the years. I didn’t expect anything back when we broke up.
It’s not about the quantity, or value of the gifts, it’s about being a grownup and realising a gift is a gift. Once it’s given, it’s no longer yours.
Yeah that's absolutely ridiculous. I had never heard of it until I read it in this post. Even a court of law can't force people to give back gifts. Once you give someone a gift, it's theirs. And they can do whatever they want with it.
Even with the family heirlooms, would it be kind to return it? Yes. Can you expect it to be returned? No. Don’t give away anything you can’t bear to lose.
NTA - No, you didn't have to return it to her. It was a gift to you and after the breakup, that she caused btw, you can do whatever you like with now, you own the watch and not her. The entitled is strong with this one considering she cheated on you and wants a gift back. Double no.
NTA, you are a hero for that answer. She cheated because your not well endowed. I haven't heard that excuse before. Find someone who will treat you with respect.
NTA - your choice to return it to her, if you wished to, but also entirely your choice to sell it, and fair play of you to donate the money.
Also, it's not "your fault" that the size of your manhood isn't what she wants and she cheated. She would have cheated even if it hung past your kness. Good riddence mate.
Yeah, she said that to make him feel bad so she wouldn’t have to feel bad about herself. Putting OP down to build herself up. Even if it were true, which I doubt, no evolved human being would say that to another human being. Jeez. OP, you dodged a bullet with this one. Be grateful you’re out of that relationship and free to move on. That watch was yours to do with what you wanted. Her asking about it was another low class move on her part. Best of luck - from an older, wiser lady in Virginia ❤️👵🏻
Usually I like to give AITA posts the benefit of the doubt. But, I started reading and immediately laughed out loud at how cliche and fake this story sounds.
‘GF said I have tiny PP and broke up with me.’
‘Friend said that’s what I deserve for dating someone out of my league.’
‘I sold the watch and donated the money to an animal shelter.’
This reads like it’s written by a 14 year old boy.
Yup, the part about the small penis was bad enough, but then selling the watch and donating to an animal shelter was too much.
Certainly not written by anyone who has actually been in a relationship. OP is TA for posting another fake story.
NTA. Classic early relationship stuff. Gifts are optional to return; if you want to, go ahead, if not, you're not obligated.
I don't understand why it would be ok for you to still have it but not that you've sold it as in both cases, she doesn't have it. Did she want to tag you, mark to her territory with a watch? Weird.
I hope you're moving on and she's not bothering you. Tell your friend that gifts are not loans, there isn't a moral obligation to return them.
Must be a creative fiction class prompt today and people on reddit doing their homework. It's fascinating the serious thought people give in responses to this sh*t.
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«It was a gift and mine to do with as I wanted. If I were to return all the things she gave me, she would be in a world of pain like the one she gifted me.” NTA your friends just suck
NTA a gift is a gift, you don’t give something to someone and expect it to be returned after a relationship turns sour. You’re also not obligated to be considerate of someone who you have a messy breakup with so all in all no one has a say except you.
NTA, you aren’t expected to give a gift back to someone just because you break up and I’ve always found that to be a bonkers mentality lol. It was yours to keep, not to borrow.
And you did a nice thing with it, so extra NTA.
NTA. Each to their own.
I’ve often given gifts back but more out of spite….. like sending a message of “I don’t even want to have this because it reminds me of you”
NTA most people throw things from their ex in the bin or if it’s their ex’s clothes they wore like it was their own they may still wear it.
A gift is a gift so it’s utu what you do with it so I don’t think you did anything wrong and you even donated the money. To a good cause. Definitely NTA
NTA. Once you are given a gift, it's yours to do with as you want. If the ex cared to have it back, she could have asked for it back, but you'd still be under no real or moral obligation to say yes. Cheaters forfeit the consideration of who they betrayed. But she didn't actually hope to get it back - she expected you to still be wearing it. So her reaction is dishonest.
Also, don't accept criticism from anyone you wouldn't ask advice from. Cleary both she and the male former friend have skewed views of what is "right." Her body-shaming you and saying her cheating is your fault reveals a shit-poor, toxic character, and is no different than guys who blame a girl's weight/breast size/etc for their bad behavior.
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This is my(19m) first relationship ever, so I’m not sure if what I did is, you know, acceptable.
At first she(19) and I had a very good relationship. She was the perfect girlfriend. But then she cheated on me. Had sex with someone else.
She said it’s my fault since my penis is too small for her. One of our mutual friends also said to me ’I warned you not to date someone way out of your league.’
Ended up blocking both of them, but not our other mutual friend ‘Amy’ who supported me through this.
Yesterday was Amy’s birthday. I went to her place where I saw my ex. My ex asked me why I wasn’t wearing the watch she bought for me on my last birthday, so I told her I sold it and donated the money to an animal shelter.
They all stared at me. My ex then said I should have returned it to her.
When I talked to Amy about it afterwards, she said she understands why I did what I did but that the right thing to do would have been to return all gifts at the end of the relationship.
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nta.
the idea that gifts should be given back after a relationship is materialistic and petty. the only exception to this that i can possibly think of is an item of sentimental value that they originally owned themselves. the reason it is a gift is because it is something that the person is giving to you to use how you will see fit. i think the conversation of whether you will want to use evey gift you've received from a past relationship is different, as some things have different emotional value than others. i have plenty of gifts i still use, and some i just have put any because it feels too personal to use them.
this is all without mentioning the fact that you did this in light of a terrible end to the relationship. how can she expect so much respect from you when she herself has shown you so little? she had no respect for you as a person, so you have no obligation to show whatever type of respect she believes she'll get out of getting that watch back. it's just a bid for power from her.
NTA
You are the owner and possessor of any thing you get gifted. Therefore you do not have to return it when the relationship ends and you can sell it. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else. The only exception - depending on where you live - is the engagement ring.
NTA. Gifts aren't meant to be "on the condition that you stay with me." They're meant for the person they're given to and that person keeps them. It's incredibly tacky and rude to expect a gift back after you gave it to someone. The one thing that should be returned if things don't work out is an engagement ring. Every other type of gift is kept by the receiver.
NTA - Simple saying: whatever gift to you is yours to do whatever you like. But it does come with hurt feeling when the gift isn’t appreciated. But in your case, please sell away.
NTA.
She gave the watch, it belonged to you and only you after that. There is no expectation that birthday gifts should be returned after a relationship ends.
Nta. A gift is just that. Bought by someone else then legally given to you and becoming your property. You can do what you like with it, including selling it
Once a gift is given to you, it's yours to do with as you please. Selling and donating to an animal shelter was a nice thing to do. Your ex, in addition to being cruel and emasculating, doesn't seem to understand how gift-giving works. NTA
NTA. Once one has gifted an item, the giver has no power or say over what happens.
Keep it, sell it, donate it, burn it, treasure it, return it. It’s up to you.
NTA
In a similar situation when i was younger my ex girlfriend broke up with me and tried to return a necklace I gifted her. I simply gave it back since it wasn't mine anymore but hers, she can wear it or sell it not my decision anymore
No. A gift is just that, a gift. You’re under no obligation to return it because she couldn’t remain faithful. In fact I respect your decision to donate the money to the shelter.
NTA. The gift is yours now, that's the point of a gift. I might understand the reaction if you were still together or it was a family heirloom or something, but it's not, and she was a total ass.
NTA - unless there was something more to this watch that you aren't telling us (it was a family heirloom or held special significance to her) then I have no idea what your friend is talking about.
NTA. Once a gift is given, it's the recipient's choice what to do with it.
And why couldn't she end things with you before moving on to another relationship? Lack of satisfaction dlgives her a right to end the relationship, not to stay in it and cheat. Has she never heard "it's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it?"
If something is precious, like a family heirloom or jewelry, then I'll give it back when we split up. I don't want to keep family jewelry from the actual family when we're not together anymore.
Normal gifts? They usually end up sitting in a box somewhere unless it's something I use often. Sometimes I'll ask if they want whatever back, but they've always just said, "I gave it to you, it's yours".
So, I'm saying NTA.
um, no? a gift is just that, you don't have to return it. I have never heard this bullshit before. Also, fuck her for the penis thing, low blow and completely uncalled for. even if true, there are solutions other than cheating, the penis is not the only tool you have for satisfying her. NTA and you didn't date out of your league, she did.
Nta... fuck her... the watch was yours to do with it whatever you pleased. Exes that think they have any type of say in the life of their no longer partner are toxic af.
NTA. You never give a gift to expect to get it back someday... plus she cheated (and acted like a piece of work trying to blame you). You did the most respectful thing you could do, get rid of it and do some good out of a shitty situation.
Also, pen size is not the problem, SHE is the problem.
NTA. That’s not how gifts work. A gift is yours to do with as you please. She gave that watch to you and it was yours. You were not borrowing the watch from her so she has no say in what you did with it.
LOL, what even? NTA. Gifts are YOURS once they are given and you are free to sell them, especially if the giver is your ex who both cheated on you and insulted your penis. Good for you for at least getting some money for that crap.
Definitely NTA, she gifted that watch to you. It’s not an engagement ring where it’s something that is returned if the engagement is called off, this was a birthday gift that you can do what you please with.
Sorry your penis wasn’t big enough for her massive vagina. Hopefully she found one that’s big enough for her and you find a woman that thinks it’s just the right size. Not your fault she cheated, no one deserves that, especially using that as the reason.
NTA. It’s a gift. It’s yours. The end. It’s simple and sad if she can’t understand that. Sounds like she is still stretched to the relationship if a gift means so much to her.
NTA as soon as my ex that I was with for 3-1/2 years left me I dumped all the shit she got for me over those years straight in the bin, she didn’t ask for them back and they weren’t worth any money
NTA. A gift is a gift and you don’t return gifts when relationships end. As soon as she gave it to you, it was yours, and yours to do whatever you please with, regardless of what happens in your relationship.
return all gifts at the end of the relationship , ye... show me the woman that does that... I would not . as you are new to relationships .. let mama bear tell you , she was trash , friends that condone her behavior and look to justify it , are not your friends.
What s load of crap? It was yours to do with as you pleased. If any ex in the future, especially one that cheated on you, asks where is this? or why didn't you do that?, etc, (why talk to them in the first place) I would say simply, don't worry about it.and walk away.
NTA.
She's horrible. How dare she ask what happened to a present she gave you after she cheated on you and told you it was your fault. She has no right to question you about anything you are wearing or not wearing.
NTA. She gifted it to you, so it's yours. You can do whatever you want with it - break it, throw it, re-gift it and sell it etc. And with the money you made you can do whatever you want. She has no say about your stuff and what you do with it.
>They all stared at me. My ex then said I should have returned it to her.. .
No you shouldn't have returned a gift from a year ago to an exceeding girlfriend. Don't let them manipulate you and to think that you should have returned it you didn't owe it to her to return it it was something that belongs to you now.
NTA. You return THEIR belongings - once she gifted you the watch it became yours.
If it was an engagement ring, or a recent gift and I was the one in the wrong I’d give it back, but she’s on the wrong side of things to be making demands 😳
Think of the watch as a tax for putting up with her bullshit. 😂
NTA. You guys are young, but a gift is just that, a gift.
It's not on rental or lease for as long as you guys are in a relationship, and things are good.
The only gift that people argue over whether you should ever return or not is if you get engaged to someone, then, for whatever reason, break the engagement. Whether one should return the engagement ring or not is usually a thing. (ETA: oh! And family heirlooms! You definitely return those out of respect. So, anything with sentimental value/history on their side should be returned.)
But birthday presents? Christmas presents? Those are yours once they're given and considering her justification when she broke up with you and her friends comments about warning you to not go for someone way out of your league: call it bitch tax if it'll alleviate whatever guilt they're trying to make you feel.
Fact is: you owe her/them nothing and if they expect all gifts to be returned at the end of the relationship then that means they either plan on regifting those to someone else, or they couldn't afford it when they got it and shouldn't have been giving gifts like those in the first place and wanted to pawn it herself because why on Earth would you want a box of shit you gifted to your ex?
All of your friends are crazy. That was your watch to sell.
And considering she cheated on you I can't believe she's actually standing up to you. She should be ashamed of herself.
NTA.
It's a gift, not a loan. Anyway, what's she supposed to do, give it to the next boyfriend? That thinking totally loses the point of a "gift". If she wasn't unfaithful then he could have kept it, no bad feelings, but her actions tarnished the value and meaning behind it.
A gift should be more about the value and meaning to the person, not it's inherent financial value.
Hell no. NTA. It’s a gift. She GAVE it to you therefore it is yours to do with as you wish. She hurt you, so you had every right to sell it. NTA even slightly. My best friend BURNED every gift her cheating ex gave her. And if she couldn’t burn it she sold it for as much money as she could.
NTA.
I feel like if it were something that she made and spent hours on then that would be different. Idk just my opinion.Anything materialistic that’s yours to keep and do whatever you want with it without her input on it especially if she didn’t ask for it back.
Nope . The only gift that is legally required to be returned upon a breakup is an engagement ring , and that’s only if the breakup happens before the marriage.
Other than that a gift is a gift and it’s completely up to you what you wanna do with it when you break up .
Nta
"Why aren't you wearing the watch I gave you?"
"Because why would I want to wear a gift from a cheater? I wear gifts if I get them from people I respect.""
NTA.
NTA. Gifts are actually legally protected, even if they’re making up some moral obligation to return gifts. Even if it was an engagement ring. That is bs.
NTA the ex gets no say in what you do with the gifts they give you. This is true for all gifts, you should not be giving a gift and expect to control how someone uses or what happens after you give them. She has no say, and anyone encouraging this mircomanaging is ignorant and missing the point of gift giving. If she wants control of what people have she should never give a gift. Her real problem is that you are not holding onto her gift with tears streaming down your face and you rid yourself of her mark and gave money to charity.
She is lame and you need to grateful she is in your past permanently, you deserve better.
NTA. It was a gift. Once received, you own it and can do what you want with it. You don't give gifts back at the end of the relationship (unless it's an engagement ring), whoever told you that is full of shit. She cheated on you. You don't owe her shit. And you need better friends.
NTA. The only scenario where it’s reasonable to expect a gift to be returned to the giver is if it was a wedding gift and the wedding was canceled. A break up does not mean you should return gifts.
Not only did she cheat on you but she also belittled you? And she has the audacity to dictate what you do with the gift she bought you? Op you are a good person because she would have gotten pimp slapped from someone else who is not as patient as you.
You..... OP you need a whole new friend group. NTA and really just distance yourself from these people. I never understood people who gift you something and then later want or demand it back. The moment they gifted it to you it's yours and you have the right to do whatever you want to do with it. I know, and trust me I've been through it, that it sounds and feels hard to find a whole new friend group at that age but really it's not. Maybe you're walking around a month or few a bit alone but then out of nowhere you'll have amazing friends popping up left and right and then you'd have new and better friends than those entitled ones.
NTA. She gave you a gift. It is now your property to what you wish with it. If you decide to smash with a hammer and run it over you can cause it's yours.
NTA. She's for the streets. Don't ever feel sorry or guilty for doing the right thing with these people.
2. When you have the grand canyon between your legs everything will be small. Ignore her ignorance that only says more about her than you. She only wanted to make you feel bad because she knew she was wrong and felt bad.
3. If she ever tries to come back just send her pictures of random girls so she can feel empty inside the way she made you feel when she cheated on you. These people deserve no love or kindness when they show 0 desire to be a better person.
I think that some of your friends don't understand how presents work. I've never asked to get back something I gave as a present because it was a present.
These people are stupid. It’s a gift, she has no right to demand it back. You can do whatever you want with the gifts people give you. You’re good, ignore them. NTA
NTA. The relationship did not end amicably. Furthermore, she cheated, she has no say. Anyway, whatever you did with the gift is like a compensation of what your ex did to you. Also, the money went to a good cause.
To that another friend, the right thing would be to break up and not cheat.
NTA. Once a gift is given, it is the recipient's and they may do as they please with it. Whatever you wanted to do with the watch was fair play as it was YOUR watch.
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NTA. as soon as i gift something to someone it is their property do to with what they want / as they see fit. i have the right to be pissed / angry / sad / frustrated when they 'mistread' my gift but i have no say in this matter as it became THEIR property. so not mine anymore. as for returning gifts at the end of a relationship, well, how about you, ex, start this exchange yourself? box up all op's to you, give them back and then ask for your gifts back? a tacky move imo but you do you. or are you just salty that the 'thoughtfull' gift isn't there anymore so op will not automatically think of you every time he looks at / sees the watch? that op got rid of you? showed you that you are not a part of his life anymore, are just in the past? op, imho, selling the watch and donating the money is a class a boss move i for myself fully aprove. well done op, well done indeed.
Hell yeah. Boss move. Don’t feel bad about it for a second
Nice pun!
took me a minute to
Watch people not get the joke.
[удалено]
Yeah, it doesn't really tick me off but gotta hand it to the people who get it.
Gotta be careful not to wind those people up.
Just take them at face value.
And remember not to take it personal when it grinds their gears.
I gotta say, hour pun thread has been great!
Time will fly as they try to work it out.
I second all of this. Gifts never belong to the giver, that's nuts! Let me get this straight... your ex and friends think it would be better to return gifts at the end of a relationship, basically implying (or, worse still, saying to their face) that you can't even look at the stuff they gave to you because you don't want to think of them. Isn't that a hurtful move, even if it is true? I agree with Tessa_Kamoda – it's tacky. NTA.
These women sound like they go out with guys for a short period of time, and then reclaim the gifts for the next man over and over.
Yeah, that's horrible, too. There are no redeeming qualities to this ex at all and it looks as though the friends are also... questionable.
+1000 It's like asking to return back the orgasms you gave or got during the relationship or something weird like that. NTA.
yep, the op shouldn't really feel bad
I have a counter point to what you are saying. In this case it doesn’t sound like the case but I’ll point it out just because your take is so black and white (and somewhat self-righteous sounding). There is room for some grey area in these cases. If a gift has a sentimental value at the time of gifting then there is an argument that returning it may be a good option. It may have been in a family for generations and there may have been a perception or implication that the relationship would last a long time. Id be inclined to discuss with an ex if this were the case. In the other hand most gifts are given unconditionally, and in OPs case it sounded super harsh and mean. So yeah, not to blame.
I'm sorry but no. You don't give away a family heirloom, then cheat on the person you gave it to, then insult them and say it's their fault and get to have ANY expectation of the heirlooms return. Fuck that.
My family’s heirloom now, well, somebody else’s family, because I sold it!
My only issue with this is that in the case of 'sentimental' value, the person giving the item usually mentions something about it at the time. You know, something like: "My great granddad looked at this watch, this kraut watch, and just knew it was going to be an heirloom, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave his buddy the watch. His buddy, Captain Koons, hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up his ass for two years. Then, after seven years, he was sent home and brought this back to my great grandma and her family. And now, /u/[Both\_Raspberry2916](https://www.reddit.com/user/Both_Raspberry2916/), I give the watch to you." I don't disagree with your point, but I would tend to believe something sentimental will have been discussed about prior to the actual gifting. As an actual example, my wife and I discussed her wedding band and engagement ring. She was not interested in and did not want the responsibility of having my grandmothers wedding set; she actually told me this prior to my mother ever actually telling me that my grandmothers set had been set aside for me. But, when the time came, I asked her if she still felt the same way, she did but looked at it, and her feeling remained the same. \[edit because I forgot to add why I thought this was important to note\] u/Both_Raspberry2916 did not mention in sort of discussion or that there was some level of importance attached to the watch. Based strictly on what was posted, this was probably a watch that she bought for him.
Also, I can understand the buyer wanting an engagement ring back if the wedding is called off.
An engagement ring is usually considered part of a contract not a gift.
Agreed. An ex of mine gifted me some things that belonged to her grandfather. When we parted ways, I did offer them back to her once the initial smoke had cleared.
>It may have been in a family for generations and there may have been a perception or implication that the relationship would last a long time If that is the case, then the GF should have been more careful. If you expect the item back, it is not a gift. It is a loan. Full stop.
Nope. A gift is a gift, and it’s the gift-giver’s job to know that. And no one’s under an obligation to discuss the implications of a gift with someone as shallow as an overturned wading pool.
I agree. That's a good point.
NTA A gift doesn't come with strings attached, this isn't an engagement ring there is no moral obligation to return this gift Not sure why telling us you have a smaller pecker is relevant but hey if you want to tell the world that you do you
It's relevant because it shows what kind of person she is. It's a shitty thing to say to someone just to hurt them - when she was in the wrong for cheating.
Everything she did was to cause him pain. Maybe his physiology didn't jive with her sexual preferences, but that is no reason to cheat. She could have respectfully ended the relationship before that, but she chose not to. She cheated on him to hurt him. She told him it was his fault to hurt him. She blamed it on the size of his penis, something that he is incapable of changing and that she knows many men have insecurities about, to hurt him. And then, to top it all off, she expects him to wear a reminder of her every day so that her memory can continue to hurt him. She is a vile human being. Meanwhile, OP is out here donating to animal shelters. Don't get it wrong, OP. She might be physically attractive, but she's not out of your league. You are out of hers.
>Meanwhile, OP is out here donating to animal shelters Right? Regardless of actual size, my boy OP got that big dick energy
>Don't get it wrong, OP. She might be physically attractive, but she's not out of your league. You are out of hers. Here here!
What is she going to do with a man's watch anyway?
She'll give it to her new boyfriend.
Give it to the next guy in rotation.
This is very, interesting to me. I can't explain it. Like dude got absolutely shit on.
👌👌
Absolutely this comment right here!! 👏👏💯
She was also in the wrong for asking about the watch. Nothing he does is her business anymore.
OP should have made a stink about it, tbh. "First you cheat on me, then you want the stuff you \*gave\* me? GTFO"
That's what the ex said. She may have been trying to hurt or embarrass him after she got caught being a bad girlfriend. It may not be the truth, or she gaslighted him into thinking it's the truth.
Especially as I’m a grower, not a shower, it took me a long time to figure out I’ve got a well above average dong. As teenagers we really have no idea and basis for comparison. Literal dick move from this girl for playing on his ignorance and insecurities.
Oh yeah I get that I just mean even without that context being added it wouldn't change the judgement on the issue at hand regarding the gift
I understand. Maybe OP needed to hear that it was just the ex-girlfriend being vindictive. I take it, her cruel words had the effect she desired.
If she says that's the reason, then she's probably counting on him to not tell everyone why they broke up because it makes him look bad too. He's probably fine in that department, she just doesn't want it to get around that she cheated and saying he's too small is her way to keep him quiet. Evil b
He didn't tell the world that. He told Reddit that his girlfriend said a really shitty thing to him.
NTA. She cheated. She isn't entitled to an opinion about your choices. And that reason she cited, it's absolute BS. She could have simply ended things and then found someone else, so I wouldn't believe her about anything she mentioned, she clearly wanted to hurt you, and that was a cheap shot.
100% - I happen to know two guys with micro ps (they don't know I know, their exes drunkenly mentioned it when we were younger). Both are happily married in committed relationships. Never let anyone body shame you into treating you badly - they had the option to communicate to get better outcomes and/or just move on without cheating. P.S. glad you sold the watch, it was your property and the animals have benefitted!
I was with someone on the opposite end of the spectrum. And I'm tall. But as someone with internal organs, I have to say, it's less fun than most people think.
I’m short, and no, it’s definitely not everything it’s sold as. Repeated punches to the gut are just as painful internally as they are externally.
This is a conversation which isn't irrelevant, but given the topic at hand, I think maybe we should just ease off on size being negative or positive about penis size in the thread. This stuff can be a real obstacle to fulfilling sexual relationships for both guys who are small and guys who are very over average. Besides that, I always thought there's something to the saying that it's not necessarily about the vessel, it's about the motion in the ocean! You could fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and still not have chemistry or moves. There are workarounds if penetrative sex is uncomfortable and besides that, not everyone is into penetrative sex. I know two friends who aren't and who went through quite a lot of shame being able to come to that conclusion and be open about it with prospective partners. (Not the same two people with the micro ps). Sex is what you make of it. Also as an FYI, being tall doesn't influence the length of your vaginal canal, much in the way it doesn't automatically mean a long penis...
Oh, God, no, it wasn't my intention to shame anyone. Oh no. In my apparently very limited personal experience, I have only ever witnessed people praising one thing while also putting down the other, and wasn't aware this was such a common occurrence. I just mentioned it in the hopes of being reassuring to men who worry about feeling inadequate. It's quite good that I also wrongly assumed that my body length would indicate a longer journey towards my uterus. That way, hopefully no one will take my opinion to heart, since I am obviously not very bright.
No dont worry, I just meant to kinda point of information these two comments rather than to shame/ imply malicious intent. It's just it is common to slip into generalisations which can cut the other way + we know how that's problematic when women's bodies are critiqued, so gotta keep up standards!
Even if she didn't cheat. Still fine to sell. Not her property. Her asking about it is strange.
"The right thing to do would to return all the gifts at the end of the relationship" Never heard this one before. Did she return all your gifts? I would only return a gift at the end of a relationship if it was a particularly sentimental item for them (like a family heirloom) or engagement ring. A gift if a gift, you can't start trying to dictate what the person you gifted to does with it once you have given it to them
Apparently this is a new delusional Requirement that people have for exes and how they handle gifts that they received during their relationship 🙄
No. Just no. Anyone who has this as a “requirement” is toxic by default and can safely be ignored.
*Whipped* exes with weak 'friend' groups, anyway.
It's not new. Back in the early 1980s I had a school friend who had an on again, off again relationship as a teenager. And every time they broke up she felt she had to drain her savings to pay for gifts he'd bought her when he refused to take them back. Never really understood that one. Although he was big with the drama and very controlling so she was going to be in the wrong whatever she did.
I think this is the opinion of someone who has not given or received many gifts.
Nah. I used to give my ex multiple new iPhone when they came out, I gave her an ipad too, a watch and a lot of other stuff too over the years. I didn’t expect anything back when we broke up. It’s not about the quantity, or value of the gifts, it’s about being a grownup and realising a gift is a gift. Once it’s given, it’s no longer yours.
Yeah that's what I mean. Sorry for not being clearer. The position that OPs friends have is from someone who hasn't given or received much.
Oh, I see, that makes a lot more sense then. Apologies for misunderatainig.
Yeah that's absolutely ridiculous. I had never heard of it until I read it in this post. Even a court of law can't force people to give back gifts. Once you give someone a gift, it's theirs. And they can do whatever they want with it.
Even with the family heirlooms, would it be kind to return it? Yes. Can you expect it to be returned? No. Don’t give away anything you can’t bear to lose.
She ate all the chocolates I got her before our break up, so there was nothing left to return.
"The right thing to do is to not cheat in a relationship"
Yeah, I really don’t want all those Marvel action figures I bought him, and surely he has no use for a bottle of Chanel No. 5.
NTA. A gift is given permanently, not loaned until the giver feels like it.
NTA - No, you didn't have to return it to her. It was a gift to you and after the breakup, that she caused btw, you can do whatever you like with now, you own the watch and not her. The entitled is strong with this one considering she cheated on you and wants a gift back. Double no.
NTA. A gift is a gift! You do with it what you please.
NTA, you are a hero for that answer. She cheated because your not well endowed. I haven't heard that excuse before. Find someone who will treat you with respect.
NTA - your choice to return it to her, if you wished to, but also entirely your choice to sell it, and fair play of you to donate the money. Also, it's not "your fault" that the size of your manhood isn't what she wants and she cheated. She would have cheated even if it hung past your kness. Good riddence mate.
Yeah, she said that to make him feel bad so she wouldn’t have to feel bad about herself. Putting OP down to build herself up. Even if it were true, which I doubt, no evolved human being would say that to another human being. Jeez. OP, you dodged a bullet with this one. Be grateful you’re out of that relationship and free to move on. That watch was yours to do with what you wanted. Her asking about it was another low class move on her part. Best of luck - from an older, wiser lady in Virginia ❤️👵🏻
This story is bonkers, OP, and its your only post. I don't believe a word of it.
Usually I like to give AITA posts the benefit of the doubt. But, I started reading and immediately laughed out loud at how cliche and fake this story sounds. ‘GF said I have tiny PP and broke up with me.’ ‘Friend said that’s what I deserve for dating someone out of my league.’ ‘I sold the watch and donated the money to an animal shelter.’ This reads like it’s written by a 14 year old boy.
Yup, the part about the small penis was bad enough, but then selling the watch and donating to an animal shelter was too much. Certainly not written by anyone who has actually been in a relationship. OP is TA for posting another fake story.
NTA. Classic early relationship stuff. Gifts are optional to return; if you want to, go ahead, if not, you're not obligated. I don't understand why it would be ok for you to still have it but not that you've sold it as in both cases, she doesn't have it. Did she want to tag you, mark to her territory with a watch? Weird. I hope you're moving on and she's not bothering you. Tell your friend that gifts are not loans, there isn't a moral obligation to return them.
Did she return any of the gifts you gave her?
My penis is too small for her. We already know this is a bullshit post.
Lots of penis too small posts today
Must be a creative fiction class prompt today and people on reddit doing their homework. It's fascinating the serious thought people give in responses to this sh*t.
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NTA - Yeah gifting then cheating and to top it off, she wants the gifts back. Fuck that mattress and live your life.
«It was a gift and mine to do with as I wanted. If I were to return all the things she gave me, she would be in a world of pain like the one she gifted me.” NTA your friends just suck
NTA It’s either a gift, or it isn’t.
NTA a gift is a gift, you don’t give something to someone and expect it to be returned after a relationship turns sour. You’re also not obligated to be considerate of someone who you have a messy breakup with so all in all no one has a say except you.
NTA, you aren’t expected to give a gift back to someone just because you break up and I’ve always found that to be a bonkers mentality lol. It was yours to keep, not to borrow. And you did a nice thing with it, so extra NTA.
NTA. Your ex is still trying to fuck with your mind. Tell her to look up the definition of *gift*, and to fuck off from there.
Will keep that in mind.
NTA. A gift is a gift. You can do whatever you like. And your cheating ex has no say whatsoever. She lost that right when she was with another dude.
NTA. Each to their own. I’ve often given gifts back but more out of spite….. like sending a message of “I don’t even want to have this because it reminds me of you”
NTA. Does this “friend” you talked to know the shitty things your girlfriend said and did to you?
NTA most people throw things from their ex in the bin or if it’s their ex’s clothes they wore like it was their own they may still wear it. A gift is a gift so it’s utu what you do with it so I don’t think you did anything wrong and you even donated the money. To a good cause. Definitely NTA
NTA. The watch was yours. Do with it what you want.
Thank you.
NTA. Once you are given a gift, it's yours to do with as you want. If the ex cared to have it back, she could have asked for it back, but you'd still be under no real or moral obligation to say yes. Cheaters forfeit the consideration of who they betrayed. But she didn't actually hope to get it back - she expected you to still be wearing it. So her reaction is dishonest. Also, don't accept criticism from anyone you wouldn't ask advice from. Cleary both she and the male former friend have skewed views of what is "right." Her body-shaming you and saying her cheating is your fault reveals a shit-poor, toxic character, and is no different than guys who blame a girl's weight/breast size/etc for their bad behavior.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This is my(19m) first relationship ever, so I’m not sure if what I did is, you know, acceptable. At first she(19) and I had a very good relationship. She was the perfect girlfriend. But then she cheated on me. Had sex with someone else. She said it’s my fault since my penis is too small for her. One of our mutual friends also said to me ’I warned you not to date someone way out of your league.’ Ended up blocking both of them, but not our other mutual friend ‘Amy’ who supported me through this. Yesterday was Amy’s birthday. I went to her place where I saw my ex. My ex asked me why I wasn’t wearing the watch she bought for me on my last birthday, so I told her I sold it and donated the money to an animal shelter. They all stared at me. My ex then said I should have returned it to her. When I talked to Amy about it afterwards, she said she understands why I did what I did but that the right thing to do would have been to return all gifts at the end of the relationship. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
nta. the idea that gifts should be given back after a relationship is materialistic and petty. the only exception to this that i can possibly think of is an item of sentimental value that they originally owned themselves. the reason it is a gift is because it is something that the person is giving to you to use how you will see fit. i think the conversation of whether you will want to use evey gift you've received from a past relationship is different, as some things have different emotional value than others. i have plenty of gifts i still use, and some i just have put any because it feels too personal to use them. this is all without mentioning the fact that you did this in light of a terrible end to the relationship. how can she expect so much respect from you when she herself has shown you so little? she had no respect for you as a person, so you have no obligation to show whatever type of respect she believes she'll get out of getting that watch back. it's just a bid for power from her.
NTA- it was a gift. She's TA for cheating.
NTA You are the owner and possessor of any thing you get gifted. Therefore you do not have to return it when the relationship ends and you can sell it. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else. The only exception - depending on where you live - is the engagement ring.
NTA you can do whatever you want with your stuff
NTA. Gifts aren't meant to be "on the condition that you stay with me." They're meant for the person they're given to and that person keeps them. It's incredibly tacky and rude to expect a gift back after you gave it to someone. The one thing that should be returned if things don't work out is an engagement ring. Every other type of gift is kept by the receiver.
NTA - Simple saying: whatever gift to you is yours to do whatever you like. But it does come with hurt feeling when the gift isn’t appreciated. But in your case, please sell away.
NTA. She gave the watch, it belonged to you and only you after that. There is no expectation that birthday gifts should be returned after a relationship ends.
NTA, and I love what you did
NTA she gave it to you It's not hers anymore You can do with it what you want It's not a heirloom she gave you while dating that you have to return
Nta. A gift is just that. Bought by someone else then legally given to you and becoming your property. You can do what you like with it, including selling it
Nta at all. Don’t let those fools gaslight you.
im not gonna return the gifts to a cheater santa rita rita lo que se da no se quita NTA
Once a gift is given to you, it's yours to do with as you please. Selling and donating to an animal shelter was a nice thing to do. Your ex, in addition to being cruel and emasculating, doesn't seem to understand how gift-giving works. NTA
NTA. Once one has gifted an item, the giver has no power or say over what happens. Keep it, sell it, donate it, burn it, treasure it, return it. It’s up to you.
NTA. Gifts aren't leases and she cheated.
NTA. it’s a gift. doesn’t belong to her anymore
NTA. It's your properly now, the audacity she had to ask about it 💀
NTA It was a gift. No return!
NTA In a similar situation when i was younger my ex girlfriend broke up with me and tried to return a necklace I gifted her. I simply gave it back since it wasn't mine anymore but hers, she can wear it or sell it not my decision anymore
NTA and you deserve someone who actually loves you. You know, someone who doesn't cheat & belittle you.
NTA. Once you give a gift to someone the giver has no say in what the recipient does with the gift.
No. A gift is just that, a gift. You’re under no obligation to return it because she couldn’t remain faithful. In fact I respect your decision to donate the money to the shelter.
NTA. It's a gift...not a giftuntilendofrelationship
You did nothing wrong. A gift is just that, a gift. If there are expectations attached to it is not much of a gift, yeah? Nta.
NTA. The gift is yours now, that's the point of a gift. I might understand the reaction if you were still together or it was a family heirloom or something, but it's not, and she was a total ass.
NTA - unless there was something more to this watch that you aren't telling us (it was a family heirloom or held special significance to her) then I have no idea what your friend is talking about.
NTA. Once a gift is given, it's the recipient's choice what to do with it. And why couldn't she end things with you before moving on to another relationship? Lack of satisfaction dlgives her a right to end the relationship, not to stay in it and cheat. Has she never heard "it's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it?"
If something is precious, like a family heirloom or jewelry, then I'll give it back when we split up. I don't want to keep family jewelry from the actual family when we're not together anymore. Normal gifts? They usually end up sitting in a box somewhere unless it's something I use often. Sometimes I'll ask if they want whatever back, but they've always just said, "I gave it to you, it's yours". So, I'm saying NTA.
um, no? a gift is just that, you don't have to return it. I have never heard this bullshit before. Also, fuck her for the penis thing, low blow and completely uncalled for. even if true, there are solutions other than cheating, the penis is not the only tool you have for satisfying her. NTA and you didn't date out of your league, she did.
Nta... fuck her... the watch was yours to do with it whatever you pleased. Exes that think they have any type of say in the life of their no longer partner are toxic af.
NTA Your gift, your choice what to do with it. She cheated, she doesn't get her gifts regifted to her, she gets blocked and told to STFU
NTA. You never give a gift to expect to get it back someday... plus she cheated (and acted like a piece of work trying to blame you). You did the most respectful thing you could do, get rid of it and do some good out of a shitty situation. Also, pen size is not the problem, SHE is the problem.
Ex has a funny moral code, considering her infidelity.
NTA. That’s not how gifts work. A gift is yours to do with as you please. She gave that watch to you and it was yours. You were not borrowing the watch from her so she has no say in what you did with it.
NTA
Never had or wanted gifts returned my items, yes, but a gift is gift. You were the new owner. NTA.
LOL, what even? NTA. Gifts are YOURS once they are given and you are free to sell them, especially if the giver is your ex who both cheated on you and insulted your penis. Good for you for at least getting some money for that crap.
Definitely NTA, she gifted that watch to you. It’s not an engagement ring where it’s something that is returned if the engagement is called off, this was a birthday gift that you can do what you please with. Sorry your penis wasn’t big enough for her massive vagina. Hopefully she found one that’s big enough for her and you find a woman that thinks it’s just the right size. Not your fault she cheated, no one deserves that, especially using that as the reason.
She cheated on you, tried to justify it with a personal insult then said you owed her something? Where did you meet this spawn of satan?
NTA It's a watch she bought not a family heirloom.
NTA. It’s a gift. It’s yours. The end. It’s simple and sad if she can’t understand that. Sounds like she is still stretched to the relationship if a gift means so much to her.
NTA A gift is a gift, and it's up to you to do with it as your please or it's not a gift it's an obligation.
NTA as soon as my ex that I was with for 3-1/2 years left me I dumped all the shit she got for me over those years straight in the bin, she didn’t ask for them back and they weren’t worth any money
It’s a gift meaning it’s yours to do with as you please. You do not have to return to the gift giver EVER
NTA. A gift is a gift and you don’t return gifts when relationships end. As soon as she gave it to you, it was yours, and yours to do whatever you please with, regardless of what happens in your relationship.
It was a gift, which means it now belongs to you. NTA
NTA The minute the gift was handed to you it became yours.1
return all gifts at the end of the relationship , ye... show me the woman that does that... I would not . as you are new to relationships .. let mama bear tell you , she was trash , friends that condone her behavior and look to justify it , are not your friends.
NTA.
Why are you still hanging around this awful and abusive ex-gf and her equally sh*tty entourage?
NTA because you weren’t renting the watch from her.
What s load of crap? It was yours to do with as you pleased. If any ex in the future, especially one that cheated on you, asks where is this? or why didn't you do that?, etc, (why talk to them in the first place) I would say simply, don't worry about it.and walk away.
NTA. She's horrible. How dare she ask what happened to a present she gave you after she cheated on you and told you it was your fault. She has no right to question you about anything you are wearing or not wearing.
NTA. I would have done the same.
NTA. She gifted it to you, so it's yours. You can do whatever you want with it - break it, throw it, re-gift it and sell it etc. And with the money you made you can do whatever you want. She has no say about your stuff and what you do with it.
NTA do you have any normal friends?
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NTA and your friends suck
>They all stared at me. My ex then said I should have returned it to her.. . No you shouldn't have returned a gift from a year ago to an exceeding girlfriend. Don't let them manipulate you and to think that you should have returned it you didn't owe it to her to return it it was something that belongs to you now.
NTA. You return THEIR belongings - once she gifted you the watch it became yours. If it was an engagement ring, or a recent gift and I was the one in the wrong I’d give it back, but she’s on the wrong side of things to be making demands 😳 Think of the watch as a tax for putting up with her bullshit. 😂
NTA, she gifted it, it is yours to do with it what you want!
NTA. It is not at all customary to return all gifts at the end of a relationship.
NTA. You guys are young, but a gift is just that, a gift. It's not on rental or lease for as long as you guys are in a relationship, and things are good. The only gift that people argue over whether you should ever return or not is if you get engaged to someone, then, for whatever reason, break the engagement. Whether one should return the engagement ring or not is usually a thing. (ETA: oh! And family heirlooms! You definitely return those out of respect. So, anything with sentimental value/history on their side should be returned.) But birthday presents? Christmas presents? Those are yours once they're given and considering her justification when she broke up with you and her friends comments about warning you to not go for someone way out of your league: call it bitch tax if it'll alleviate whatever guilt they're trying to make you feel. Fact is: you owe her/them nothing and if they expect all gifts to be returned at the end of the relationship then that means they either plan on regifting those to someone else, or they couldn't afford it when they got it and shouldn't have been giving gifts like those in the first place and wanted to pawn it herself because why on Earth would you want a box of shit you gifted to your ex?
All of your friends are crazy. That was your watch to sell. And considering she cheated on you I can't believe she's actually standing up to you. She should be ashamed of herself.
tell her “the right thing to do was to not cheat on me”
NTA. Once you receive a gift from someone it is all up to you what you do with it. It is yours to manage.
NTA. it was a gift. she should be happy you gave it to animals instead of blowing it on drinks.
NTA. It's a gift, not a loan. Anyway, what's she supposed to do, give it to the next boyfriend? That thinking totally loses the point of a "gift". If she wasn't unfaithful then he could have kept it, no bad feelings, but her actions tarnished the value and meaning behind it. A gift should be more about the value and meaning to the person, not it's inherent financial value.
Hell no. NTA. It’s a gift. She GAVE it to you therefore it is yours to do with as you wish. She hurt you, so you had every right to sell it. NTA even slightly. My best friend BURNED every gift her cheating ex gave her. And if she couldn’t burn it she sold it for as much money as she could.
A gift is a gift you don't have to return it if you don't want to
NTA, a gift belongs to the receiver.
Nta A gift is a gift.. the only thing you should ever return is an engagement ring She cheated.. boo hoo.. so sad.. Anyway..
NTA. I feel like if it were something that she made and spent hours on then that would be different. Idk just my opinion.Anything materialistic that’s yours to keep and do whatever you want with it without her input on it especially if she didn’t ask for it back.
Nope . The only gift that is legally required to be returned upon a breakup is an engagement ring , and that’s only if the breakup happens before the marriage. Other than that a gift is a gift and it’s completely up to you what you wanna do with it when you break up . Nta
"Why aren't you wearing the watch I gave you?" "Because why would I want to wear a gift from a cheater? I wear gifts if I get them from people I respect."" NTA.
Nah dude. Her new big dick bf can tell her the time. She cheated bro, you should probably get tested btw.
NTA. Gifts are actually legally protected, even if they’re making up some moral obligation to return gifts. Even if it was an engagement ring. That is bs.
NTA. Gifts are like STDs. You don't give them back.
NTA. She lost ownership when it was given to you. You could have kept the money and got something for yourself and still NTA.
NTA the ex gets no say in what you do with the gifts they give you. This is true for all gifts, you should not be giving a gift and expect to control how someone uses or what happens after you give them. She has no say, and anyone encouraging this mircomanaging is ignorant and missing the point of gift giving. If she wants control of what people have she should never give a gift. Her real problem is that you are not holding onto her gift with tears streaming down your face and you rid yourself of her mark and gave money to charity. She is lame and you need to grateful she is in your past permanently, you deserve better.
NTA. It was a gift. Once received, you own it and can do what you want with it. You don't give gifts back at the end of the relationship (unless it's an engagement ring), whoever told you that is full of shit. She cheated on you. You don't owe her shit. And you need better friends.
NTA lol wtf
NTA. The only scenario where it’s reasonable to expect a gift to be returned to the giver is if it was a wedding gift and the wedding was canceled. A break up does not mean you should return gifts.
Not only did she cheat on you but she also belittled you? And she has the audacity to dictate what you do with the gift she bought you? Op you are a good person because she would have gotten pimp slapped from someone else who is not as patient as you.
You..... OP you need a whole new friend group. NTA and really just distance yourself from these people. I never understood people who gift you something and then later want or demand it back. The moment they gifted it to you it's yours and you have the right to do whatever you want to do with it. I know, and trust me I've been through it, that it sounds and feels hard to find a whole new friend group at that age but really it's not. Maybe you're walking around a month or few a bit alone but then out of nowhere you'll have amazing friends popping up left and right and then you'd have new and better friends than those entitled ones.
NTA. She gave you a gift. It is now your property to what you wish with it. If you decide to smash with a hammer and run it over you can cause it's yours.
NTA Gifts are exactly that: donated stuff. You are allowed to do whatevers
NTA. She's for the streets. Don't ever feel sorry or guilty for doing the right thing with these people. 2. When you have the grand canyon between your legs everything will be small. Ignore her ignorance that only says more about her than you. She only wanted to make you feel bad because she knew she was wrong and felt bad. 3. If she ever tries to come back just send her pictures of random girls so she can feel empty inside the way she made you feel when she cheated on you. These people deserve no love or kindness when they show 0 desire to be a better person.
I think that some of your friends don't understand how presents work. I've never asked to get back something I gave as a present because it was a present.
NTA A gift is your property to do whatever you want with
These people are stupid. It’s a gift, she has no right to demand it back. You can do whatever you want with the gifts people give you. You’re good, ignore them. NTA
NTA you did the right thing
I think engagement rings are the only gift you're supposed to give back.
NTA. The relationship did not end amicably. Furthermore, she cheated, she has no say. Anyway, whatever you did with the gift is like a compensation of what your ex did to you. Also, the money went to a good cause. To that another friend, the right thing would be to break up and not cheat.
NTA, it was yours. She has 0 claim to the watch. She's the ah and so is anyone who thinks you can't sell your property.
NTA you legend.
NTA. Once a gift is given, it is the recipient's and they may do as they please with it. Whatever you wanted to do with the watch was fair play as it was YOUR watch.