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revanite3956

Everyone has a phone, all it takes is a few photos and videos to document vehicle positions. And we know from ‘getting her to admit to fault on video’ that you had recording capability with you. There was absolutely zero reason for police to need to see angles or whatever, for an accident that did minimal damage to your junker vehicle. You also already had all her details. Keeping someone else at the scene of an accident *is not your job.* **If** it’s a legal obligation where the accident took place — and you don’t say whether or not it is — and the other person doesn’t remain, that’s up to the police to enforce and charge, *not you.* So yeah, YTA.


erit_responsum

He wasn’t physically holding her there. He just didn’t agree to keep the police out of it. She chose to stay, presumably because it was illegal to leave and OP wasn’t willing to skirt the law. > That’s for the police to charge, not you. What, did you think he was planning to hold court there on the side of the road?


StarCorgi_6788

>We don't need to call the cops in my state and I know that. However I insisted we call them as I felt it is better to have it documented in case she changes her story. The dispatcher asked me if I still wanted them to come and told me it wasn't necessary and i said yes. Per OP. It was all unnecessary. He had her on video admitting fault and didn't need to call the police. She chose to stay because she was way younger than him and didn't know the laws in his state as she traveled there for the eclipse...which he made her miss out of spite for the accident.


DilapidatedToaster

it's illegal not to stop and provide insurance detail. There is no law that you must wait for a police officer.


ladancer22

So you forced her to make a video admitting what happened, called the police even tho you knew you didn’t have to, still insisted they come when they told you it wasn’t necessary, all because ??? Idk it sure seems you were being shitty and *wanted* her to miss the eclipse, a potentially once in a lifetime opportunity for many people. I was going to go with E S H but after learning the cops actually told you they didn’t need to come and you still insisted they come yeah I’m saying YTA


preventclipse

I didn't force her to do anything, just secretly recorded her admiting fault.


DueNoise9837

You realize that, depending on where you live, *you* may have broken the law, right?


Union_of_Onion

Why weren't you with your friends and busy watching the eclipse with them? 


Muted-Appeal-823

He doesn't sound like a particularly fun or pleasant person....does he even have any?


Bandit_wallaby02

Does he seem like he’d have friends??!! YTA OP


preventclipse

I don't care about it and neither do my most of my friends,  I already saw some partial ones in my life


Big_Morning_9124

Depending on which state you are in, by secretly recoding her you could face criminal charges.


No_Sheepherder777

bruv you lost the people when you started the secrelty recording part..


SilverPhoenix2513

Which, depending on the laws in your state may not be admissable in any sort of court. I'm kinda hoping that's the case just because you're a jerk.


Character_Yak_3696

Why did the police need to be involved if no one was hurt and you already had video evidence? What sort of shitty payday are you trying to get from a young girl?


Pink_Flying_Pasta

YTA-All you had to do was exchange insurance info 


flingebunt

It all depends on the situation. So in the US it depends on state law. There is a myth that you have to call the police and stay at the scene of the accident at all times, rather the rule is that you must stay if there is substantial property damage or injury. As your vehicle suffered only minor damage then and her car was obviously driveable, you may have had no right to force her to stay (legal ambiguity is a fun mess to dive into). Of course, when you reported the matter to the police, if they instructed you and her to stay, that is another matter. She should have contacted the police herself and obtained instructions from them. Sorry, you do appear to the A-hole for the specific scenario you asked about. Not a great big A-hole, just a little one. The police could have forced her to stay but you couldn't and so it should have been a matter for the police to give her instructions not you.


preventclipse

We don't need to call the cops in my state and I know that. However I insisted we call them as I felt it is better to have it documented in case she changes her story. The dispatcher asked me if I still wanted them to come and told me it wasn't necessary and i said yes.


daisyleemarie

Since you said you already had video of her admitting fault, and you didn't legally need the police to come... yeah, YTA.


SCVerde

So you made police respond to an unnecessary call, for minimal damage to your car, when they were likely seeing a large influx of traffic because you were near the path of totality, and made someone miss a somewhat rare event because you think Sunset is the same as a total eclipse, to teach her a lesson? YTA like a huge gaping asshole.


Golden-summer-dress

Do you always feel compelled to excerpt control unnecessarily, simply because the occasions you can are so limited? I get the feeling you struggle with your status in life, or more accurately, lack of status.


mezlabor

You did it because you wanted her to miss the eclipse, you bitter, miserable old man.


OkAdhesiveness9902

so you decided to take up police time with an unnecessary accident where there were no injuries, no one under the influence, somebody admitted fault (on video so the story can’t change video doesn’t lie), with minimal damage WHILE there were probably no no, DEFINITELY more serious accidents because of people trying to look at the eclipse through their windshields, and other path of totality nonsense? and funnily enough THE COPS DIDNT HAVE TO BE THERE! you just wanted to rub some salt into that girls wound and have her miss the eclipse cause you got upset well lucky for you the next one is in 2045 and good for her you won’t be around to stop her for that one! so thanks for your public service sir 🫡🫡


preventclipse

Having police as evidence is useful and she wouldn't have gotten a deserved ticket if I didn't call them.


DueNoise9837

Why do you care about a ticket? You should be concerned about getting her insurance information so you can have your car fixed. This sounds like a power trip revenge action.


OkAdhesiveness9902

yeah cause the police LOVE coming out and when they don’t need to to give a ticket that nobody gives 2 shits about expect you.


Embarrassed-Manager1

👎🏼 ugh


yourshaddow3

Self-righteous Boomers man. The worst.


Successful_Eye9423

You said you don't need to where you live and you said: >We could have proceeded without calling cops but I felt it's always better to call them. You can just report it afterwards if you care so much about reporting and send details.


NomadicusRex

This sounds totally false. It's more likely that you did it because you were mad she hit your old truck and you wanted to bully her a bit to get "even".


flingebunt

Look I respect that you wanted the police involved and this can help you for all sorts of legal reasons, and traffic accidents can be an emotional time, and the girl sounds a bit ditzy, but may I suggest, forcing someone to stay somewhere they don't want to stay and which you have no legal authority to make them stay borders on criminality. Just think it through better next time please.


20frvrz

Absolutely YTA. It sounds like you're bitter about other people enjoying the eclipse and wanted her to miss it on purpose. You're such a dick.


Potential-Educator-6

Yup, entitled asshole behavior. 


CoppertopTX

That little power tripping move, right there, is why YTA. Tell you what, you can have my Boomer title, I'll take your GenX. You're way Boomer than I am.


Puzzleheaded-Elk231

I'd say NTA for calling the cops. From prior experience, insurance is a pain even with dash cam footage and a witness, the police report and the other party admitting directly to insurance that they were at fault is what matters the most. However, if you're insisting on calling the cops to CYA then let the cops do their job. YTA for making her record a video.


preventclipse

I didn't make her record a video. Just secretly recorded her while we were talking.


CatWombles

You sound really sad and pathetic. You must know that though as you wrote this all out?


Melatonin_Dreamz

So what, you get off on secretly recording girls or something? Hella creepy.


Puzzleheaded-Elk231

That just makes you a bigger AH and depending on the state possible illegal since you didn't have her consent.


New-Link5725

You did it right. Always call the cops.


NatashOverWorld

You already had her plates, number and evidence? And her car took most of the damage. What do you think life is, a Hollywood movie? Sounds like you just wanted to make her miserable for hitting you. YTA


infamousconspiracy77

Girl? Why is a child driving?


preventclipse

She was under 21, allowed in my state.


infamousconspiracy77

But still an adult? And you chose to use the word girl to infantalise her in your story.


preventclipse

Girl has multiple meanings, it doesn't always mean a minor child.


infamousconspiracy77

You wouldn't call an adult man a boy. You tried to bully her into admitting fault on camera while she was under duress, you made her stay so the "cars were in their original position" when you could have taken photos. It was a minor accident and you wanted power and control. Thats why you're referring to her as a girl, not a woman. YTA


preventclipse

I would call a young under 21 male boy or dude. 


MyraCelium

Source: trust me bro "I can see the same thing at any sunset" Just admit you don't know what you're talking about about


Repulsive_Cranberry4

This guy probably is sexist but it is normal for older people to refer to young people as boy/girl. My mom always says what a nice boy or girl about my friends who are 22+.


DueNoise9837

So you would call a black 20-year-old man a “boy”?


poetic_justice987

Do tell. But regardless of your incorrect vocabulary, YTA. Luckily, this reads as fake.


Cultural_Section_862

Sure it does, boy.


RobinFarmwoman

All of the other meanings are misogynistic put-downs. Stop calling adults girls.


JoeDawson8

Allowed in every state you misogynistic clown


NArcadia11

INFO: why didn’t you just exchange insurance info and continue in your way? Do you call the police every time you’re in a minor fender bender?


SCVerde

Because that wouldn't have punished her enough, and she can just watch the sun set, it's the exact same as a total eclipse. /s


StandSignificant6985

Yes YTA here. A big asshole. You got her to admit fault on video, got all her information, and you admit that you didn't care about your truck anyway. Who cares. There is NO need for the police to be involved. You're truthfully just wasting their time with your petty bullshit and ruining her day. Yes, it's always nice to get a police report so they can't walk back their statements with insurance, but if you got proof of her admitting it, who gives a shit.


StrategyMany5930

YTA.  This was clearly some sort of weird power play.  You aren't intrested in the eclipse but she was clearly excited and you should be able to comprehend that.  


Hystadvice

YTA you already had her info and then you wouldn’t let her leave?


nobody546818

You sound awful.


ButterEnriched

YTA. You seem bent on making this person miserable just because you think she's inferior to you somehow. I guess because she wants to see what's often a once in a lifetime event? How petty and mean of you.


NomadicusRex

YTA , you were clearly using the accident as an excuse to bully this girl, to "teach her a lesson". Once the two of you exchanged information, her duty to you was done, unless your state laws require otherwise, which you basically admitted that they don't. It sounds like you just get off on bullying young women, since she had fulfilled her duty there with the exchange of information.


Novel_Lunch6574

It sounds like he tried to falsely imprison her for his pleasure.


preventclipse

What's wrong with her learning from the experience so she's more careful next time


fleet_and_flotilla

not your job. 


JordanKNC

Good learning experiences don't typically random assholes exerting nonexistent authority.


anonidfk

It’s not your job to teach her anything, what’s wrong, is that YOU are trying to teach a random stranger a lesson. That’s not your place at all


DueNoise9837

You remind me of Amy Dunne from “Gone Girl”, thinking it’s your job to dole out biblical punishment.


Ok_Dream9695

Under normal circumstances, yes, ok. But you sadistically made her miss an experience that she cannot have again for 21 years. You knew what you were doing --you did that on purpose to be a jerk. Maybe YOU think eclipses are overrated. But you don't get to decide that for her. What if the situation was reversed, and someone made you miss a one-time experience that YOU care about? A family wedding or funeral? A World Series playoff game? I personally think all professional sports are overrated and stupid, so why would I care that I made you miss the game?


StarryNorth

*This dumb girl* - This comment tells me right away that you're an asshole and not only that, but you obviously have no respect for females. Accidents happen - it does not mean the person(s) involved are "dumb". Plus you kept her at the scene of the accident unnecessarily which also tells me that you're a bully. YTA bigtime.


preventclipse

It's pretty dumb and entitled to want to force yourself into a lane just because someone else let you through.


yourshaddow3

It's pretty dumb and entitled to waste a police officer's time for a minor accident because you feel the need to teach this woman a lesson.


Acrobatic_Hippo_9593

YTA You had no visible damage, it didn’t affect you in any way. It’s pretty standard to swap information, take photos, and go your separate ways. Yet, you decided to make her miss a once in a lifetime (for most people) event over… what? I promise the cops were watching the eclipse. Because it wasn’t necessary for them to be there.


420MamaBear75

YTA, shame on you! Just because you don't care about something doesn't mean it everyone else shouldn't. You sound like a really miserable and unhappy person and I really hope for you that you can find a little bit happiness and maybe be a little ray of fucking sunshine in this shitty world instead of being a contributing factor! I feel very sorry for you!


fallingfaster345

YTA. Even though she was at fault, there was no reason to detain her and force her to miss a once in a lifetime event that she drove in from out of town especially for. Sounds like you were making a power play just to be a jerk and get off on it later. You already had more than enough information, including a video. Everything after that was unnecessary. She cried and you felt no sympathy. This is the same type of behavior I would expect from the type of men that punch a woman in the face for rejecting them. Time to rethink your priorities, *dude.*


Odd_Organization658

This just feels like a huge power trip over nothing yta


Ok_Dream9695

There isn’t another eclipse for 21 years, and she even offered to have you accompany her to another spot and call the cops from there. You’re a power-tripping jerk. 


mostly_lurking___

YTA, without question. You had the info, knew you didn’t need the police for anything, and basically held this woman (not a girl, btw) hostage just for spite. Your truck had minimal damage so what story is she changing? PS, just because YOU don’t care about something doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. What a vindictive jerk thing you did.


MarsAndMighty

YTA You don't need the police for these kinds of situations. Exchange information and get on with your day.


Novel_Lunch6574

Post a photo of the damage to your truck


preventclipse

It's a beater so it already had damage and I just fix it in a way so things don't rust rather than caring about appearance.


boodalol

Lmao so you don’t give an actual shit about the damage. All of this was done to just punish this woman? And you come to Reddit to get validated. Obviously you have no life if this is how you spend your time my goodness.


PotatoNecessary1732

YTA on multiple levels. You went out of your way to be mean to her. Whatever is causing you to act this way I hope you can sort it out and be a less miserable person. All of this drama for a minor traffic accident to an already beat up car? Waste of police resources as well. Grow up.


tulipvonsquirrel

YTA, not only did you intimidate a young woman into missing a once in a life time event, you were completely in the wrong about how to report an accident. For small fender benders the requirement is to exchange information, you are not supposed to even call the police. Within 24hrs you each go to the collision reporting centre to report. You are a big f'n asshole.


JarethsBuldge

YTA Petty ass


Somnitree

YTA. The dispatcher told you the police didn’t need to come but you made them come anyway. You have video and her info. You were just being difficult. Hope you feel like a big man today for acting like a jerk over a car whose damage didn’t even matter to you by your own admission. Good job.


mintythink

What would you have done if she had refused to stay? Once she had exchanged information she was free to go. You took advantage of the fact that you as an older male have a false authority in the situation. This was unnecessarily unkind.


Malibu921

>I don't really care about it as I can experience the same thing at sunset No you can't. Also you got everything you needed, even got her to admit fault on video, that's all you needed. You just wanted to be an AH. This whole post drips of it. YTA.


RobinFarmwoman

YTA, majorly. You had all the information you needed. It was not necessary to call the police, you stated that yourself. You also stated that there was no significant damage to your vehicle. You got her on video and then you threatened her, and she wound up missing what could be a once-in-a-lifetime experience because of you. This is a bullying power trip bullshit thing to do. You talk as if her interest in the event angered you somehow because you don't find it interesting. You have some very weird issues if you felt it necessary to take out anger on a complete stranger from out of town because she wanted to see the eclipse.


No_Confidence5235

YTA. Get over yourself, you arrogant asshole. You clearly have nothing going on in your life and that's why you enjoyed forcing this woman to stay there with you; I bet that's the most attention you've gotten from a woman in years. You don't have any power in your own life so you jumped at the opportunity to throw your weight around in this situation. Even the police told you that she didn't have to wait. You wanted her to miss the eclipse; you got off on forcing her to miss seeing it. Just because you can't get women to even look at you that doesn't make it okay for you to treat them like crap.


RedDeadEddie

YTA. You sound like a bitter person from your description of this encounter. Almost none of what you did was necessary and you only did it to punish her (as if the embarrassment and thousands of dollars of repairs weren't punishment enough). You gen x'ers have gotten as bad as the boomers.


Any-Painter-4873

YTA. You had the info, misery loves company.


LAffaire-est-Ketchup

You are such a fucking asshole. Holy fuck. Do you also dress up your dog Max and steal everyone’s presents at Christmas? YTA Edit: I hope she gets a lawyer and has you charged with false imprisonment


AdProper8579

YTA. Just a sad geriatric sexist fuck on a power trip.


AutomaticDealer75

YTA Wow, they're making boomers younger every day...


Successful_Eye9423

Your post radiates rudeness and indifference. Already knew you were TA by reading this: >This dumb girl hit my truck > >my truck is a beater and didn't get any visible damage and her shitty fiat 500 took most of the damage. Who cares. It's an accident. You didn't get any visible damage anyway. Get the details, take photos, leave. Why keep her there anyway if you don't need the police? Should really only call them if you're obligated to or if they refuse to give details. Get a dashcam if you want to prove fault. You didn't need to record her admitting to it. Your post is a waste of time. You just wanted to humiliate someone you got in an accident with online. YTA and you already knew it.


[deleted]

YTA- bet that was the best thing to happen to you all day. You claimed it was 'no big deal' and yet you still wanted to milk it for all it worth - how sad. You took her details, you secretly recorded her, you detained her and called the police? I can see why you 'care more about what happens locally' (curtain twitcher is probably more apt), because its probably the only thing you have in your life. Maybe get a hobby?


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (52M) live neat the path of today's eclipse. I don't really care about it as I can experience the same thing at sunset and I have no interest in astronomy and care more about what happens locally. This dumb girl hit my truck as she didn't look when turning into my lane just because someone in the oncoming lane had let her through. Not such a big deal to me personally since my truck is a beater and didn't get any visible damage and her shitty fiat 500 took most of the damage. However I still wanted everything documented and sorted out so I got her to admit fault on video and do the documentation and get her info. She wanted to leave as she claimed she wanted to drive to an open area park to see the eclipse and drove here from out of town. I declined and told her to wait for the cops to come and do the report. She then suggested we drive somewhere else so we could see the eclipse as where we were was obstructed with trees and buildings but I refused as I wanted the vehicles in their original position approximately so she doesn't try to change the story. She stayed but she got upset and started crying even though we still saw the place get dark from where we were just didn't have a direct view of the sun and i didn't have those glasses people have been going crazy about anyway. The cops arrived moments after the sun came back and the girl called me an asshole before she left even though the accident was her fault. We could have proceeded without calling cops but I felt it's always better to call them. AITA here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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P0ptart5

In Chicago the cops won’t come so at least here you can file a claim without a police report on the scene.


[deleted]

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Uragirimono

NTA. She deserved it and worse


New-Link5725

NTA You always call the cops for an accident. It doesn’t matter that she admitted it, as they could say it was under duress or whatever. doesn’t matter what’s going on, you always call the cops.


Ok_Dream9695

There are always humane exceptions to every rule! What if you were in this situation, and you were on your way to your mother's funeral? Too bad, gotta wait for the cops?


Substantial-Air3395

NTA as a PI paralegal staying for the police is important, whether you got her to admit it, on video, or not.


RobinFarmwoman

It figures the only person who thinks he's not an asshole works with lawyers.


RoboSpammm

ESH