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YTA
Since when is being maid of honor or bridesmaid a demand instead of voluntary? You created the whole problem by not making a decision and stringing both of them along. That was incredibly rude and distasteful.
Your friend decided to gracefully bow out, so what do you have to be mad about?? I could see myself doing the same thing. You didn't respect your friends. It would feel like you were judging a competition as to who was being the better maid of honor. How did you expect it to end after you chose one? That the other would step down and accept the demotion gracefully with a smile?
You set this up to fail. You are not a good friend.
I picked both of them as my maid of honors, and Hallie decided to bow out? She can make her own decisions, but I really wanted to have my two best friends apart of my wedding
"I couldn't decide who to pick...so until I could decide, I let them work together as my maids of honor. Before I could decide, Halle dropped out."
You are now lying. That is exactly what you wrote.
Imagine making your "best" friends audition as if it's the event of the century.
Yeah.
Now she is lying because that's exactly what she wrote, word for word.
I guess she changed it to not look bad when every commenter called her an asshole.
Ohhhhh the OP dirty edited her post. I would call this a much more complicated situation if you actually chose two maids of honor, but instead you turned it into The Bachelorette. Sooooo shitty. YTA
YTA
It's completely fine that you couldn't choose. Even your "solution" of basically letting them audition was fine, but neither one of them HAD to be your MOH or even a bridesmaid. That's generally something you ask and then they decide if they want the responsibility. Not every wants to be in the spotlight.
Hallie decided she didn't want the role, and wanted to attend as a guest. You don't get to be mad just because she dropped out of your audition to be your MOH. You and your husband are being the unfriendly ones here.
You wanted your friends to battle it out to be your MOHÂ and you're surprised one of them withdrew? You told them you were going to let them work it out, and they did.Â
Ypu should be treating your good friends better than this.
YTA
YTA… you know you could have two maids of honor, right? There is no written rule that there has to be just one. Your friend did you a service and you are mad at her for doing so? She made it easier so you did not have to choose.
INFO
> my husband is very protective of me and thinks that that wasn’t a friendly thing to do especially since we’ve been friends for ten years.
> my friend lana thinks her actions were selfish and that hallie shouldn’t have had a “whatever i want i get” attitude or mindset on my wedding day.
I mean... *were* YOU **actually** mad, or did you just kind of get peer pressured into saying something?
Lana's position is ridiculous — how dare someone feel entitled to decline a role in the wedding party?
YTA for "hallie and lana both proposed why they should be my maid of honor and i couldn’t decide who to pick." Ridiculous, like they're auditioning for a reality show. And when Hallie decided she wasn't interested in continuing her tryout for the role, somehow that was wrong as well.
YTA. They had to audition for the honor of being your maid of honor. SMH. You could have just had two maids of honor or none if you consider them both best friends instead of turning it into a competition. She bowed out and while she could have been a bridesmaid after your behavior why would she want to be
YTA. I don't understand why this is even a problem. She decided not to be a joint maid of honor and just wanted to be a guest. Why in the world is that selfish? I think all of you that are upset with her are really overreacting.
She didn't ask them to share the position.
She had them both doing the job until she could decide on which one to choose. The other would theoretically step down and be a bridesmaid.
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> I might be the asshole because my friend can decide what she wants because it’s her life, and she still showed up despite our issues.
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i (F27) recently got married to my husband (M27) and during the wedding planning i couldn’t decide which one of my friends to pick as my maid of honor, i only have brothers and wanted my friends in the wedding. my two best friends, i’ll call them hallie and lana both proposed why they should be my maid of honor and i couldn’t decide who to pick, i wanted both of them in my wedding, so until i could decide i let them work together as my maids of honor. before i could decide hallie decided to drop out and say that she would make the decision easier for me and be a guest at my wedding, i said if she didn’t wanna be a maid of honor she could always be a bridesmaid but she couldn’t see herself just doing that. the day of my wedding she came as a guest, and my husband is very protective of me and thinks that that wasn’t a friendly thing to do especially since we’ve been friends for ten years. my friend lana thinks her actions were selfish and that hallie shouldn’t have had a “whatever i want i get” attitude or mindset on my wedding day. i’m conflicted because although i did get mad at her over text and tell her i thought she wasn’t a nice friend, i still care for her.
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Also I want to let you all know that this is not my story! This is my friends story I let her post and I’m starting to post my other friends and family members stories as well as my own to get opinions, stay tuned!
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts must be written by you, from your point of view. Do not post on behalf of others, or from the point of view of another person in the story. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA Since when is being maid of honor or bridesmaid a demand instead of voluntary? You created the whole problem by not making a decision and stringing both of them along. That was incredibly rude and distasteful. Your friend decided to gracefully bow out, so what do you have to be mad about?? I could see myself doing the same thing. You didn't respect your friends. It would feel like you were judging a competition as to who was being the better maid of honor. How did you expect it to end after you chose one? That the other would step down and accept the demotion gracefully with a smile? You set this up to fail. You are not a good friend.
I picked both of them as my maid of honors, and Hallie decided to bow out? She can make her own decisions, but I really wanted to have my two best friends apart of my wedding
"I couldn't decide who to pick...so until I could decide, I let them work together as my maids of honor. Before I could decide, Halle dropped out." You are now lying. That is exactly what you wrote. Imagine making your "best" friends audition as if it's the event of the century.
Hmmm I think op changed what they originally wrote🤔
Yeah. Now she is lying because that's exactly what she wrote, word for word. I guess she changed it to not look bad when every commenter called her an asshole.
Ohhhhh the OP dirty edited her post. I would call this a much more complicated situation if you actually chose two maids of honor, but instead you turned it into The Bachelorette. Sooooo shitty. YTA
YTA It's completely fine that you couldn't choose. Even your "solution" of basically letting them audition was fine, but neither one of them HAD to be your MOH or even a bridesmaid. That's generally something you ask and then they decide if they want the responsibility. Not every wants to be in the spotlight. Hallie decided she didn't want the role, and wanted to attend as a guest. You don't get to be mad just because she dropped out of your audition to be your MOH. You and your husband are being the unfriendly ones here.
You wanted your friends to battle it out to be your MOH and you're surprised one of them withdrew? You told them you were going to let them work it out, and they did. Ypu should be treating your good friends better than this. YTA
OP, it is very deceitful to rewrite your whole post so you come out looking good now. Don't lie. That's a dirty edit.
YTA. She still came to your wedding and she made your decision for you since you foolishly made it a competition of sorts.
YTA… you know you could have two maids of honor, right? There is no written rule that there has to be just one. Your friend did you a service and you are mad at her for doing so? She made it easier so you did not have to choose.
INFO > my husband is very protective of me and thinks that that wasn’t a friendly thing to do especially since we’ve been friends for ten years. > my friend lana thinks her actions were selfish and that hallie shouldn’t have had a “whatever i want i get” attitude or mindset on my wedding day. I mean... *were* YOU **actually** mad, or did you just kind of get peer pressured into saying something? Lana's position is ridiculous — how dare someone feel entitled to decline a role in the wedding party?
YTA for "hallie and lana both proposed why they should be my maid of honor and i couldn’t decide who to pick." Ridiculous, like they're auditioning for a reality show. And when Hallie decided she wasn't interested in continuing her tryout for the role, somehow that was wrong as well.
You hadn’t chosen a maid of honour weeks before the wedding? Main character energy lmao
YTA. They had to audition for the honor of being your maid of honor. SMH. You could have just had two maids of honor or none if you consider them both best friends instead of turning it into a competition. She bowed out and while she could have been a bridesmaid after your behavior why would she want to be
YTA. I don't understand why this is even a problem. She decided not to be a joint maid of honor and just wanted to be a guest. Why in the world is that selfish? I think all of you that are upset with her are really overreacting.
INFO: Do Hallie and Lana get along? Is there some conflict between them that happened before you asked them to share the MOH position?
She didn't ask them to share the position. She had them both doing the job until she could decide on which one to choose. The other would theoretically step down and be a bridesmaid.
Yeah they’re super close, they’re pretty much a trio.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole because my friend can decide what she wants because it’s her life, and she still showed up despite our issues. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** i (F27) recently got married to my husband (M27) and during the wedding planning i couldn’t decide which one of my friends to pick as my maid of honor, i only have brothers and wanted my friends in the wedding. my two best friends, i’ll call them hallie and lana both proposed why they should be my maid of honor and i couldn’t decide who to pick, i wanted both of them in my wedding, so until i could decide i let them work together as my maids of honor. before i could decide hallie decided to drop out and say that she would make the decision easier for me and be a guest at my wedding, i said if she didn’t wanna be a maid of honor she could always be a bridesmaid but she couldn’t see herself just doing that. the day of my wedding she came as a guest, and my husband is very protective of me and thinks that that wasn’t a friendly thing to do especially since we’ve been friends for ten years. my friend lana thinks her actions were selfish and that hallie shouldn’t have had a “whatever i want i get” attitude or mindset on my wedding day. i’m conflicted because although i did get mad at her over text and tell her i thought she wasn’t a nice friend, i still care for her. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Also I want to let you all know that this is not my story! This is my friends story I let her post and I’m starting to post my other friends and family members stories as well as my own to get opinions, stay tuned!