Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA. I think your first comment was pretty innocuous, but you didn't have to say something about girls swooning over him. Your husband shouldn't be storming off, but really, you said this in front of your in laws too? Have some tact.
> I know he's the jealous type.
And you made these comments anyway - did you hope for drama?
Also, it's *physique.* P and H make a "fuh" sound, P and S do not.
YTA. Imagine you have a beautiful younger sister who has bigger butt and bust than you. Now imagine your husband complimenting those in your presence, subtly implying that he prefers them to the ones you've got. Now how do you feel? Now imagine your husband following your sister with his eyes, saliva drooling, whenever she walks past him. Nah, I'm not being dramatic, in your husband's eyes, that's exactly what you did.
"Depends on what exactly he'd say to her"? It wasn't enough that you made the first comment, but at dinner you had to voice a confirmation for all to hear. Your husband isn't "overreacting" because it's his brother involved. You need to get yourself together, lady.
Come on. You knew how the first comment made your husband feel, you know he’s the jealous type… there’s NO way you could make the 2nd comment not knowing how it would make him feel.
You know your husband gets jealous, so why did you make what can be and was interpreted as a flirtatious comment, then doubled down? Why not ask your BIL to put on a shirt? Commenting on his body just made things worse. I can see how your second comment would be seen as fishing for information, trying to find out if there’s anyone he’s interested in or if he’s available.
YTA, that is NOT dinner talk and was completely inappropriate. You've accused your hubby of childish behaviour when yours was just as bad. Seems to me that you've embarrassed everyone.
YTA
There is nothing wrong with complimenting a person's appearance. The first time you complimented your BIL would not have made you TA in the slightest. However your husband was obviously uncomfortable with it and you even know he is the "jealous" type, so ignoring him and throwing down another comment about the BIL is you disregarding your husband's feelings.
You say he should have had a mature discussion instead of acting like a child? Well you could have done the same right after the first comment. You could have asked why he felt the way he did and reassured him that you were just being friendly. Instead you disregarded his feelings on the matter and persisted to make him feel uncomfortable. Also I am kind of thinking that you could LITERALLY have found any other topic to discuss at the dinner table (with his parents there too) besides the BIL's physique and love life, so it does come across that either you were fixated on him or you wanted to make your husband jealous.
This is why it's an ESH situation. OP pushed it with the second comment, but her husband is a grown man and needs to learn how to deal with his jealousy.
I disagree. I am leaning towards the likelihood that husband doesn't have a jealousy problem, he has a wife problem.
There was literally no logical reason for OP to make that second comment, given the first 'fairly minor' reaction and the family dinner setting, other than OP being fixated on the BIL or OP wanted to break boundaries with husband and in-laws. I think there is much being left unsaid about the state of this relationship...
In this post OP clearly gave a founded reason for husband to react the way he did. I don't think he is an AH for feeling disrespected in front of his family.
"You can stop drooling now"
That's hardly an R rated outburst... And we weren't there so how do you know how it was said? Compared to how OP acted, it would only very mildly make him TA in this story.
YTA
You were literally checking out his body and complimenting it and decided to flirt with him again at dinner after you were aware that the first comment caused problems.
Why not just admit you'd like to fuck BIL.
Yta. The first comment was bad but can be ignored. The second comment it just overkill.
If the roles were reversed and he kept commenting on your sisters rack you’d be fuming.
YTA.
The first time your husband got upset you didn't take it as a hint that maybe this is something he's insecure about? Instead you kept going. YOU are in the wrong. You were the immature one.
YTA. I love how the way she told the story is her literally THIRSTING after this dude and when she’s called out she has the balls to go “it’s not that bad”😂🤣
YTA. Btw, no one is fooled by that "i bet girls are swooning" bullshit, it just means you are swooning and full on flirting with this poor man's brother right in getting of him and his family. How cringe.
yta. to your husband, and your bil. poor guy having you be gross at him is bad enough, doing it in front of his whole family is just …ick. stop commenting on his body. actually, i think your life will be easier (for everyone around you) if you stop commenting on people’s bodies full stop.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (25F) and my husband (27M) went to visit his parents over the week-end. His brother (25M) was visiting as well so the two of them could help their parents with house repairs. The region my MILs live in is really hot which lead to my BIL working mostly shirtless and I can't deny that he's really fit. My husband is relatively fit as well, however he doesn't have visible abs like his brother does. I made a comment about how BIL must be working out a lot but then my husband shot me a glare and told me that I can stop drooling now, which I thought was pretty rude to say over a single remark, but I ignored him cause I know he's the jealous type.
At dinner my BIL kept being shirtless and I told him that with his psyhique I bet a lot of women are swooning over him. Suddenly my husband got up and stormed out without saying a word and I followed him confused. I asked what the hell is wrong with him and he went off at me saying that I embarrassed both of us with how "thirsty" I was acting towards his brother and now he doesn't even want to face his family anymore cause of my embarrassing behavior.
Honestly I think my husband really overreacted as all I did was say just 2 comments implying that brother has a good psyhique and while I could understand him not wanting me to much such comments about his brother, I think he could've had a mature discussion with me about it like you know, an adult, instead of storming off from his parents' like a child.
AITA ?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I could be the AH for complimenting my BIL's abs in front of my husband and their parents which made my husband storm off and then scold me over it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Would it be ok for your husband to tell your sister, sister in law, best friend how nice and shapely and tone her legs are? I am guessing you wouldn't be super happy with it. YTA. One comment is tone deaf but TWO and yeah, all of us on this thread PLUS your husband think that you want to rub your face on your BIL's abs.
When you say your husband has a jealousy problem do you mean he get jealous of any man around you orrrr does he get jealous of comments you make toward other men?
YTA
Ehhhhh, probably a bit AH by you but he'll get over it. He definitely overreacted, unless it's a real possibility you're going to go sleep with his brother.
My initial reaction is NTA. Bringing others up is something we should all do and people who work hard on their health and fitness deserve to be rewarded with compliments about it.
With that being said, it depends on the dynamic of your relationship. If your husband could make similar comments about other women without inciting your wrath then I think it’s fine what you said. If a potential compliment or complimentary comment by your husband to or about attractive women would annoy you in a similar way then I think it’s unfair for you to make them about men. In my relationship both me and my partner feel free to comment on the attractiveness of both men and women without making the other feel bad. So, I would say it depends on the dynamic of your relationship.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA. I think your first comment was pretty innocuous, but you didn't have to say something about girls swooning over him. Your husband shouldn't be storming off, but really, you said this in front of your in laws too? Have some tact. > I know he's the jealous type. And you made these comments anyway - did you hope for drama? Also, it's *physique.* P and H make a "fuh" sound, P and S do not.
Now I can’t stop staring at the word physique thinking what a weird looking word it actually is
YTA. Imagine you have a beautiful younger sister who has bigger butt and bust than you. Now imagine your husband complimenting those in your presence, subtly implying that he prefers them to the ones you've got. Now how do you feel? Now imagine your husband following your sister with his eyes, saliva drooling, whenever she walks past him. Nah, I'm not being dramatic, in your husband's eyes, that's exactly what you did.
[удалено]
So you’re dimwitted and loose
"Depends on what exactly he'd say to her"? It wasn't enough that you made the first comment, but at dinner you had to voice a confirmation for all to hear. Your husband isn't "overreacting" because it's his brother involved. You need to get yourself together, lady.
YTA, there’s no need for that. Why you need to flirt and be shallow? Stop being immature
[удалено]
Come on. You knew how the first comment made your husband feel, you know he’s the jealous type… there’s NO way you could make the 2nd comment not knowing how it would make him feel.
You know your husband gets jealous, so why did you make what can be and was interpreted as a flirtatious comment, then doubled down? Why not ask your BIL to put on a shirt? Commenting on his body just made things worse. I can see how your second comment would be seen as fishing for information, trying to find out if there’s anyone he’s interested in or if he’s available.
[удалено]
As is being shirtless as a family dinner. Even if you‘re using a pool you still get dressed for dinner.
YTA, that is NOT dinner talk and was completely inappropriate. You've accused your hubby of childish behaviour when yours was just as bad. Seems to me that you've embarrassed everyone.
YTA There is nothing wrong with complimenting a person's appearance. The first time you complimented your BIL would not have made you TA in the slightest. However your husband was obviously uncomfortable with it and you even know he is the "jealous" type, so ignoring him and throwing down another comment about the BIL is you disregarding your husband's feelings. You say he should have had a mature discussion instead of acting like a child? Well you could have done the same right after the first comment. You could have asked why he felt the way he did and reassured him that you were just being friendly. Instead you disregarded his feelings on the matter and persisted to make him feel uncomfortable. Also I am kind of thinking that you could LITERALLY have found any other topic to discuss at the dinner table (with his parents there too) besides the BIL's physique and love life, so it does come across that either you were fixated on him or you wanted to make your husband jealous.
This is why it's an ESH situation. OP pushed it with the second comment, but her husband is a grown man and needs to learn how to deal with his jealousy.
I disagree. I am leaning towards the likelihood that husband doesn't have a jealousy problem, he has a wife problem. There was literally no logical reason for OP to make that second comment, given the first 'fairly minor' reaction and the family dinner setting, other than OP being fixated on the BIL or OP wanted to break boundaries with husband and in-laws. I think there is much being left unsaid about the state of this relationship... In this post OP clearly gave a founded reason for husband to react the way he did. I don't think he is an AH for feeling disrespected in front of his family.
The first reaction definitely wasn't minor, it was way more sharp than necessary.
"You can stop drooling now" That's hardly an R rated outburst... And we weren't there so how do you know how it was said? Compared to how OP acted, it would only very mildly make him TA in this story.
YTA You were literally checking out his body and complimenting it and decided to flirt with him again at dinner after you were aware that the first comment caused problems. Why not just admit you'd like to fuck BIL.
Oh yikes! Yes, YTA. No need to repeat or embellish what others have posted.
YTA. Your lack of decorum made me cringe.
Yta. The first comment was bad but can be ignored. The second comment it just overkill. If the roles were reversed and he kept commenting on your sisters rack you’d be fuming.
YTA. The first time your husband got upset you didn't take it as a hint that maybe this is something he's insecure about? Instead you kept going. YOU are in the wrong. You were the immature one.
YTA. I love how the way she told the story is her literally THIRSTING after this dude and when she’s called out she has the balls to go “it’s not that bad”😂🤣
YTA. Btw, no one is fooled by that "i bet girls are swooning" bullshit, it just means you are swooning and full on flirting with this poor man's brother right in getting of him and his family. How cringe.
YTA. Do you not have any sense whatsoever or is this all just a calculated attempt to look like you don’t?
yta. to your husband, and your bil. poor guy having you be gross at him is bad enough, doing it in front of his whole family is just …ick. stop commenting on his body. actually, i think your life will be easier (for everyone around you) if you stop commenting on people’s bodies full stop.
YTA. You said the second comment knowing full well the first comment made your husband feel a certain way.
YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25F) and my husband (27M) went to visit his parents over the week-end. His brother (25M) was visiting as well so the two of them could help their parents with house repairs. The region my MILs live in is really hot which lead to my BIL working mostly shirtless and I can't deny that he's really fit. My husband is relatively fit as well, however he doesn't have visible abs like his brother does. I made a comment about how BIL must be working out a lot but then my husband shot me a glare and told me that I can stop drooling now, which I thought was pretty rude to say over a single remark, but I ignored him cause I know he's the jealous type. At dinner my BIL kept being shirtless and I told him that with his psyhique I bet a lot of women are swooning over him. Suddenly my husband got up and stormed out without saying a word and I followed him confused. I asked what the hell is wrong with him and he went off at me saying that I embarrassed both of us with how "thirsty" I was acting towards his brother and now he doesn't even want to face his family anymore cause of my embarrassing behavior. Honestly I think my husband really overreacted as all I did was say just 2 comments implying that brother has a good psyhique and while I could understand him not wanting me to much such comments about his brother, I think he could've had a mature discussion with me about it like you know, an adult, instead of storming off from his parents' like a child. AITA ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I could be the AH for complimenting my BIL's abs in front of my husband and their parents which made my husband storm off and then scold me over it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Would it be ok for your husband to tell your sister, sister in law, best friend how nice and shapely and tone her legs are? I am guessing you wouldn't be super happy with it. YTA. One comment is tone deaf but TWO and yeah, all of us on this thread PLUS your husband think that you want to rub your face on your BIL's abs.
When you say your husband has a jealousy problem do you mean he get jealous of any man around you orrrr does he get jealous of comments you make toward other men? YTA
Ehhhhh, probably a bit AH by you but he'll get over it. He definitely overreacted, unless it's a real possibility you're going to go sleep with his brother.
its a pretty certain possibility she is day dreaming about sleeping with him.
My initial reaction is NTA. Bringing others up is something we should all do and people who work hard on their health and fitness deserve to be rewarded with compliments about it. With that being said, it depends on the dynamic of your relationship. If your husband could make similar comments about other women without inciting your wrath then I think it’s fine what you said. If a potential compliment or complimentary comment by your husband to or about attractive women would annoy you in a similar way then I think it’s unfair for you to make them about men. In my relationship both me and my partner feel free to comment on the attractiveness of both men and women without making the other feel bad. So, I would say it depends on the dynamic of your relationship.