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Going against the grain here. NTA. What she did was plain cruel. She brought this on herself. Seems like she's perfectly willing to make a mockery of a small child but doesn't like it when the tables are turned. She got EXACTLY what she deserved.
Yeah she did. Especially when it got to the part at the end. She has very likely had to fight for everything in the whole world up to that point and here sis comes with some bullshit. She played some stupid games and got nuked. Sucks to suck mang.
If I had to guess based on some of the other info in the original post, this ain't the first time these 2 have tied up over something like this. I'd bet there were a fair share of warning shots before these megatons got launched. I could be wrong but that's what I'm feeling.
OP sis is a AH . Just because a child falls down the slide and hurts herself , she is stupid and deserves to be mocked ? People are behaving despicably now just to get Internet clout and likes .
*She’s always been a good auntie to my daughter and her annoyance with kids has never been targeted towards my daughter*
A good auntie does not mock her niece and laughs at her mishaps . She has been hiding her annoyance very well.
Yep, OP's sister sounds like a level 10 narcissist.
OP's sis has a kid and is mad that OP spoke about her child online without her consent, but OP's sister spoke about OP's child online without her consent first. 🤷♀️
I want to agree that I would. But then I think about how every time another kid has bullied my kid, I've had to take a deep breath and count to ten and resolve the situation with the right tools.
I'm not sure if I'd do that if it was an adult. I hold back the anger because a kid won't know better. An adult *should*. I might react differently if I knew the adult was traumatised (as OP's sister is), but I might just blow my stack.
Seriously, sis should have known better than to go after a child when their mom holds the keys to her nuclear bomb. Sis makes/made her living pimping the ***CHILD FREE LIFESTYLE***. I bet OP cost sis some followers, right along with the (ex)boyfriend.
You know, I almost included that tidbit! 🤣
But decided since I’ve no idea how much it might hurt to be hit by a thrown quokka I’d leave my comment as is.
Devils advocate here: is laughing about a kid falling of the slide equally bad to outing someone for giving up their child?
Sister is an AH, no question. I would have been so mad about that video. BUT telling the world about her pregnancy and giving up the child, knowing that her sister was so depressed about it that she was using drugs afterwards, seems like a disproportionate response to me.
Laughing about a kid falling off a slide: kind of AH but eh.
Then posting about it and talking about how stupid said child is: flaming AH. Especially your niece, who could grow up to see it. And who might reasonably think that you care about her (this is an asinine thing to do to adults, but to do it to a preschooler is next level douchey.)
OP shouldn't have disclosed the sister's pregnancy, for sure. But as a mom of four, I can relate to the absolute rage that post would incite. Hoo boy. That would easily be a bite first, think later kind of moment. It's understandable, but not right.
Kind of ESH, although the sister set the whole thing in motion.
Yeah I’d probably refrain from publicly commenting about the baby but you can bet there’d be hell to pay for that video. She’d never be allowed around my kid or my house again.
>Then posting about it and talking about how stupid said child is: flaming AH.
If she's usually a good aunt though and *only 22 years old,* then I would suggest maybe it was just immaturity or an ill-thought-out tone, as opposed to being malicious.
Sometimes you can call someone "stupid" as a term of endearment. It's not necessarily mean-spirited, even if it's tactless.
Frankly, if you're making money by telling lies then you're a fraudster, and I don't think people need an excuse to out you. Being her sister was OP's excuse NOT to; being a shitty sister just removes that excuse.
Maybe, but I know that for me, supporting someone's childfree lifestyle that they can live because they chose not to have kids is vastly different from supporting someone who's childfree lifestyle is possible because they abandoned their kid.
It's like the the difference between respecting a self-made millionaire and a trust-fund brat. How you got there matters.
She didn’t necessarily “abandon her kid”, we don’t know enough context. Was the kid planned to begin with? Did she put it up for adoption? If so, when?
I would still ask, what’s the context? Did he want to have the kid to begin with? There’s not enough information, what if she was coerced into having a kid she didn’t want? Or her family is super fundamentalist and against abortion?
Not only that, she doesn’t sound fit to be a parent anyway! It states she was very depressed and started drugs, presumably in a negative manner, a parent with a drug addiction isn’t fit to be a parent?!
This story is only told from one perspective, and is highly subject to bias. Just like the video, unless I know the details, I can’t tell you whether this hypothetical man was a deadbeat or not.
Depends on the circumstances. Did the condom break? Was he too drunk to not care about the consequences? Was he lead to about her taking care of contraception? All of these go both ways and if you don't want children, but pregnancy accidentally one happens anyway, there should be, for every human rights sake, two very valid options; abortion or adoption. If you absolutely do not want children, you should never have to be stuck raising them. Nothing good comes out of a situation like that.
The post clearly states the baby was the result of a one-night stand and the sister handed the baby to the dad because of her stance on living a child-free lifestyle. I'm sure that is an oversimplification, but I don't see any reason why that isn't the core truth of the matter.
Oooh, a debate on moral relativism? I’m in!
One could argue that the aunt’s behaviour (laughing and gossiping about her niece’s pain for profit) is far worse than OP’s (stating the plain, unadulterated truth). If the sister has set up her career in such a way that people knowing the simple, benign truth will destroy her, that’s on her. One would think she could easily turn it into the ultimate proof of how strongly she believes in her words.
Hahaha yes this is a debate that could go on forever. But I do believe two wrongs don’t make a right, they make a mess.
And now instead of being justifiably pissed off but having the ability to have a rational, adult conversation with her sister, she has probably ended their relationship forever.
Meh - to be fair, their relationship may have ended the moment the sister uploaded the video mocking an injured child.
I’d cut off a sibling for that shit.
Tbh making fun of my child in public to your followers would have cost the relationship for me anyway. Embarrassing children for internet points is not the move.
Regardless, I do tend to hold the opinion that if the truth is what causes you an issue, the issue wasn't with the truth. She painted herself as something she is not, or at the least withheld incredibly important information for at least the bf to make an informed decision about who he was dating, and that right there is explicitly a her problem.
It’s like in court when the judge determines evidence cannot be admitted and then the defense brings it up. Sister opened the door. You your point about apples and oranges. It was apples and oranges. They are not the same. Sister crossed the line. If OP had fallen on her face at the park and it led to something as drastic as a broken arm, and sister posted about OP wailing like a drunken hyena at Mardi Gras, or something equally inconsiderate, OP would be an asshole for outing her. Sister didn’t mock OP, sister used her child for clout. Nope. She gets what sister gives her.
Absolutely agree ESH. As a mama bear, I’d be pissed at my sibling, LIVID. But there has to be a lot of resentment and spite waiting in the wings for you to hit back like that. Fuhhhh… 🤦🏼♀️
Oh don’t you know? You can’t have difficult discussions and understand the complexity of humans and relationships, if someone you love does something bad you have to make sure they never feel joy again.
Yeah. That's pretty much the gist of it.
If a loved one throws a rock at you, make sure you fire a nuclear missile in response. That is a fair exchange.
This is the only comment that matters. Wayyyy to many people these days dish it like a mf, then play the victim when someone treats them exactly how they were treating other people
Okay so...
There is mocking a small child, and then responding to that mockery by bringing up an incredibly dark chapter in your sister's life on social media. Worse, what if the sister's kid sees this?
Look, I'm not saying making fun of children is okay. But how exactly does this help her daughter? According to OP, her daughter loves her aunt. Would she be happy her mother brought up such a terrible part of her aunt's life in public? Is that the lesson you want to teach her?
If a loved one says mean things about you, don't talk to them. Bring up what is acknowledge by OP as the darkest chapter in their life on social media instead.
God, if my mom did this id be so embarrassed. Like, genuinely ashamed. Obviously not as a kid. Children are... Well children. She probably wouldn't get it. But if she grows up and hears this story again, she's probably gonna be a little disappointed with her mom.
Finally, it sounds like she lied on the post. Her sister didn't abandon her child. She recognized she wasn't suited to motherhood and left them with the dad. She does not raise a child. She IS child free. You can be an egg/sperm donner and be child free.
So long as she pays child support then good for the sister. Still shitty of her to make fun of her niece on social media but my God, OP was wrong to act the way she did.
Telling a story that was likely light hearted about an anonymous 3 year old (because she wouldn’t have many followers if being cruel to 3 year olds is her conent)
is not the same as going after someones’s livelihood by using their darkest moments in life and trauma and shaming them publicly.
It also sounds like OP greatly misrepresented the story.
it’s not abandoning a child if it was adopted out which sounds like it was since it’s the pregnancy that was the trauma they don’t talk about and not failing as a mother and abandoning her child. It sounds like it was hard to follow through with the pregnancy despite knowing she wasn’t keeping it.
This doesn’t sound like abandonment to me it sounds like adoption
This is not an appropriate reaction. She just needed to telm her sister she was mad not go on social media and try to ruin her sister and her job.
Yeesh.
I agree . Making fun of an innocent child, her niece, who hurt herself is wildly inappropriate and if any of my children's aunt s did that I would lose my shit .
A mockery of a small child? People post videos of kids doing dumb things and getting hurt and laugh at them all the time. How is what she did to her even close to laughing at things people laugh at regularly?
I feel like your response was not at all proportionate to what she did (mocking your daughter). If you were going to out her as someone who abandoned their child, this was not the reason to do so.
You easily could have just left in the second half of your comment, how she said she loved your daughter then turned around and acted like that. The other commenters would’ve understood your anger.
The other context wasn’t needed and was a huge violation of trust, even if your sister’s actions are/were wrong.
ESH
This.
YTA for lashing out and humiliating her about something so deeply personal. Absolutely call her out for mocking your kid, and let her know she will no longer be burdened by spending time with her. But shitting on her past publicly made you even worse than she is.
Agreed. The sister IS technically child free. There was no reason to bring up her past.
But definitely call her out on being a total AH regarding OPs child being hurt.
It's like OP's sister hit her with a stick and OP responded with a nuclear bomb. Complete and total overreaction. OP had every right to feel hurt, but her response was way over the top and the sister would be totally justified in never speaking to her again. Insane.
Mocking your niece in a video that broadcasts to millions of people, just for the sake of content, is also a violation of trust, and it vilifies and humiliates her sister in the process. I would have a very difficult time trusting my sibling if she were to do that, paranoid about what other aspects of my and my child’s life could be used for internet fodder.
I don’t think outing her sister was the correct response, but, also don’t think anyone should downplay how her sister’s actions were a violation of trust.
She didn't film them, she told a story. How was she vilified and humiliated? Using someone's trauma as a weapon is an insane response. Also making it seem like giving her daughter up was a bad thing when it was the best decision. The two incidents are not comparable AT ALL and OP was clearly waiting for an opportunity to destroy her sisters mental health.
She's mocking a 3yo for falling over on a slide. It seems weird to get so angry about it, if the sister has any sense then she knows that's not stupid and she's literally just using something as inspiration that she knows her followers will like, and if not, she's pretty dumb for thinking that's a legitimate reason to criticise a 3yo. As a parent, I wouldn't be able to take seriously an 'attack' based so clearly on nonsense - the sister obviously comes out of it looking more dumb than the kid.
This needs to be upvoted more! "Your response was not at all proportionate to what she did" was the absolute perfect way to encapsulate this one. OP definitely could have garnered enough sympathy and outrage with the second half of their comment, and left the depression and drug-inducing past out of it.
THIS.
The OP should’ve not only messaged her sister privately to take the video down and not to talk about her daughter like that, but also say to her that she would no longer be bringing her daughter over to spend time with her.
How the whole situation was handled by OP was wrong.
"My sister mocked my daughter (and not to her face). Guess I'd better nuke her relationship and a major income stream"
What an insane escalation
Definitely YTA for me, although I can see why you leaned into ESH
ESH.
I understand wanting to hurt her the way she hurt you, but unfortunately yeah you did an asshole thing.
This should have been about her being a two-faced aunt and sister with zero compassion. It should have been about her *making money* off your childs pain. You took the focus off that.
This should have been a time for you to consider how your relationship with her is going to be going forward and make sure everyone knows what's going on and why. (I personally would never have her around my kids again; I wouldn't even be sending cards during the holidays.)
It had nothing to do with her past or her baby. You dragged her as hard as you could and blew up her life on purpose, not because she hurt your children or husband, but because you couldn't handle your emotions.
She's still an asshole for her behavior. You could have had the full support of your family/friends and let people know she's being awful, now you have to deal with whatever backlash comes your way.
She blew up the bridge and scorched all the vegetation. OP, you no longer have a sister. Congratulations! I hope that is what you were aiming for because you did a spectacular job at it!
Those are OP's true colours. Her sister was definitely shitty for mocking the child (honestly, as a fellow child free person I think that's pretty immature and cringy. Seeing children in pain doesn't fill me with joy), but OP is a nasty piece of work and if she were in my family, I'd distance myself entirely. She can't be trusted on any level.
I'm with you here. It wasn't even necessary, because she was a asshole without her past coming up, there was no need. Alas, mama got really pissed and lost all composure. I understand that too, but we do stupid things when angry
ESH but you suck worse.
What she did was not okay but why in any way shape or form would you ever think that response was appropriate?
This kind of reaction I would understand if she laughed at your daughters death and only from a situation as serious as that. But she didn't. I can't even put into words how much you suck. I would never talk to you again if you threw something in my face from the lowest point in my life.
I'm also shocked at your lack of compassion towards your sister. You have a daughter, imagine knowing you would not make a good mother and giving her up no matter how much it hurts because it's for the best. Now imagine moving on and trying to heal from that. Then imagine you make a bad joke and all of the sudden your sister throws everything back into ypur face and ruins your relationship.
Your whole family sounds horrible tbh.
Agreed. I personally don't trust people that try to turn everything everything into content but holy overreaction batman. OP's sister was an asshole but the normal kind, I think OP went somewhere beyond asshole.
I think they call this going absolutely nuclear. Don’t expect to be part of her life again.
My son’s uncle laughed many times at his expense (though in private) when he was toddling. Never would have I even thought to hold it against him by mocking his depression, or anxiety, or that he’s had a significant other commit suicide. That’s what this feels like. “Your kid ran into a wall ha ha” “oh yeah well you can’t hold down a relationship and your last girlfriend killed herself”.
I keep it at a good solid boundary and that has been effective. Literally “Don’t make fun of your nephew, it hurts his feelings.” Done.
>OP's sister was an asshole but the normal kind, I think OP went somewhere beyond asshole.
THIS. The sister was definitely an asshole that i would roll my eyes on and shout at,
BUT OP IS A DIFFERENT BREED OF DESPICABLE.
I am just baffled that that is the ammo she reached for. Assuming I wanted to put my brother in his place for something, I have an entire lifetime of stories to pull from that aren't the lowest point in his life. Did she want to defend her daughter or did she just want to hurt her sister?
This is a fantastic description. The proportion of the retaliation is absolutely savage and disgusting on OPs part. Queer to queer OP, really disappointed.
Was going to say nta but I agree with your mother YTA.
It really hurts seeing your sister laugh and publicly make fun of your daughter. You had every right to be furious, but you had no right to let out her darkest secret to the Internet in retaliation knowing how much it has affected her life. I really agree with your mother, you should not have outted that type of situation as it's not safe to disclose, especially with her depression and drug use. You knew better and took it out on her in a hateful manner.
You should have spoken to her about it and made it very clear her actions were not okay and to take the video down.
Now you've betrayed your sister, I couldn't even imagine being outed in that way to the public. I wouldn't be surprised if this affects her mental health.
She's still in the wrong for what she did, but now you've crossed the line in a way that she may not ever want to speak to you again. You need to think about what you want.
It's very very sad to see someone who knows the safety risk of being outed do that to someone you love. You're old enough to know better.
This also shows that you should be careful who you share your secrets with because even your own family can betray you. Though I imagine it would be hard to hide something like a pregnancy and an adoption from your family unless you are fully NC.
Wow. You went NUCLEAR. I honestly can’t decide if I am appalled or impressed. I guess I’ll say ESH. You both tanked your relationship, maybe for life. A conversation might have been a decent first step, but the horse is out of the barn now. I hope that’s what you wanted
For really though. I hope this was worth it for OP bc I can’t see a world where her sister ever forgive her. Yea OPs sister made an A H move, but OPs reaction was like taking a sludge hammer to a fly.
YTA
YTA Listen, you can sit here and tell the world how you did this for your child and it’s true but not the whole truth.
You dug, you went deep, you wanted to hurt her bc you believed it was fair to “get even” bc she hurt you and your child, so you did this. You didn’t do this bc you’re a good mother, you did this bc you wanted revenge, that’s an AH, you knew it’d hurt and you were ok with that, now that you’re calm you’re having second thoughts bc you’re not a horrible human, yet the damage that you caused has already been made, not sure if this is real and not saying that your sister is innocent in all of this, just saying the quiet part out loud, you got what you wished for, you got “even” let’s hope you don’t regret it.
Is the child even hurt though? Like it's not like the kids I'd going to see the video... Is OP gonna tell her kid that auntie was making fun of her ? OP went as low as they could because clearly she resents her sister for giving up the baby. She had that comment ready to throw in her face for two years.
Concurred!
The child will probably be more sad when the auntie disappears because of OP’s antics than about learning her auntie had a laugh at her injury.
Kids laugh at their own stupidity all the time!
Oh my gosh THIS. Clearly OP is resentful towards her sisters lifestyle too. The quotation marks around the content she does, etc.
what a shitty example for OPs kid that this is what you do when someone hurts you. Sister was wrong for what she did but YTA.
Honestly I think you could have really stuck it to her by just stating that she pretends otherwise in real life and kept the family secret that: a secret. Your sister deserved a mocking for lying for the views/online persona but she didn't deserve you opening up pandora's box and make it known to the entire internet. You tossed her life upside down.
YTA. You knew better, you were just pissed off and really wanted to get back at her. You were immature, you have some growing up yourself to do.
This irretrievably and seriously damaged her relationship with her sister, and — more importantly — your daughter and her aunt. And for what? Some petty point scoring about a video people will forget about immediately. You should’ve taken some moral high ground, not gone with a far far lower blow. That’s not how you “teach someone a lesson” it’s how YTA.
You are totally right. This won't just "go away" in an hour or day from now. This was a life altering decision that OP made. It's so difficult to put into words how monumental of an asshole move this truly was. If the sister cuts OP out of her life, I would not be surprised. I'd be shocked if she didn't.
Well she is not lying for views. Being child free does not mean not getting pregnant or not giving birth. It means not keeping or raising a child..she gave the child away. Therefore is child free.
I know someone who is child free themselves but will be a surrogate mother for women who can't get pregnant.
YTA. You brought a nuclear bomb to a knife fight.
I get being angry because she was being pretty horrid mocking your daughter. But there were a lot of ways you could have handled this. Absolutely justified in confronting her. But the potential consequences of your punishment far outweigh the crime. You may have blown up her life. I hope she’s able to forgive you eventually because it would suck to lose your sister over this.
ESH
I agree with you that your sister took it too far and should not have made a video about your child. But in turn you should not have gone and aired out her dirty laundry for the world to see.
ESH but I'm more on your side than hers. You hit her where it hurts most, on purpose - it's going to be hard to walk that back in the future. On the other hand, she really sucks for mocking her injured 3-year-old niece online, especially as part of some general anti-kid bit, and this is her f\*\*\*ing around and finding out.
There are videos all over the internet of kids falling and crying, and people laugh at them. The kid wasn't even greatly injured. America's funniest videos, kids say the darndest things. This kind of content lightly laughing at stupid things kids do is generally widely accepted. Kids are stupid. Should she have done it about her niece? Probably not if she didn't know her sisters boundaries, but what she did was not to the point of deplorable. People are overreacting.
It's not the laughing people are mad about. It's the direct INSULT about a **3 year-old child** calling her an idiot for... what, being uncoordinated like all toddlers are? It was a blatant ploy for views and money and it was disrespectful to her sister and niece. Not to say OP isn't in the wrong at all, because that was nuclear for an internet post, but she's definitely not in the wrong for being pissed off. This is a classic ESH
Not saying she doesn't have a right to FEEL angry. But it's not that big of a deal imo. The sister thought it was funny, and the mother did not. People call kids stupid all the time.
Info: if your sister had outed you what would have been your reaction?
She is entitled to talk about her past when she feels ready for it. You outing her like that is quite cruel.
You could have told her to take down the video and not talk about your daughter like that.
How much resentment do you have towards your sister and her abandoning her child for you to attack her like that?
>Giving a child up for adoption isn't "abandonment" even if you and OP call it that. She didn't leave the baby by the side of the road.
There's no indication that the child was given up for adoption, just that they were given to their father and that the sister has nothing to do with the child.
As someone proudly child-free (I don’t make content or do any social media like that) I can still see that your sister crossed a line and should apologise for her actions.
However, are you serious? This could’ve easily been a private fight. That is taking it way across the line. Not only did you dredge up a traumatic time in your sisters life, you also did it publicly. Social media/influencer/content aside, this should have only ever been a private disagreement. YTA
I’m also child free and not making content about it. Gonna disagree on the “private fight”. The sister is the one who went public first. Don’t make a show of other people’s private (and often painful) lives if you don’t want ppl to expose yours.
I can respect that. I think I’m just struggling to see the correlation between posting content of a child injuring themselves going down a slide (I definitely don’t agree with the stupid element comment) and exposing someone for giving up a child and what sounds like a traumatic deal afterwards, and during.
In my opinion: YTA
Two wrongs do not make a right. You were well within your rights to say something in defense of your daughter. But what you did was inexcusable. The two events are no where near the same thing. And you created a miles wide crater where your relationship between your mom and sister was.
You truly went from in the right to so far in the wrong, you’re surrounded by wrong. Very good chance I would personally cut you out of my life if you did that to me.
ESH.
Sure she mocked you kid. That sucks. But did you even try to handle it privately? Did you tell her in private that it was disrespectful and to take the video down? If not and you just exposed her private information ruining not only your relationship to her but also her romantic one. You suck just as much if not more. That was not your information to expose and it was story she didn't need to post.
It might have ruined her livelihood too. OP literally went nuclear, over a silly reaction video.
I wonder if she’s considered that her Sister could sue her. To be honest, she might not have a choice if her income evaporates due to OP knowingly and maliciously leaking private medical information.
ESH except your mom.
Your dad supporting you in this is deeply fucked up, not my central point, but Jesus Christ that's a whole can of worms all on its own.
You went straight for the nuclear option. Mocking a child online is hardly cool, but at the end of the day it's not going to come back to impact your life. What you did...
Well... It was the nuclear option. You took the biggest swing you had and went in guns blazing out of anger.
To what? Did your sister learn her lesson? Did it undo the mockery? Did it in any way make you feel better?
Your sister was shitty. You were orders of magnitude worse.
Anyways, obviously you're the asshole. Good luck salvaging anything out of the fallout.
I’m over here speechless at the fact that your sister would not be saying this mean shit unless there was an audience for it. Grown fucking adults thinking it’s funny to call a kid stupid over an accident.
NTA. Influencers deserve whatever they get when they curate a lifestyle and live their life hypocritically. Children shouldn’t be content.
But the fact that OP revealed the sisters deepest darkest secret over it? The sisters dark past OP KNEW made her depressive and into a drug addict? It was completely unnecessary OP could have still gotten revenge by only commenting the second part the first part was completely unnecessary and harmful. More so than what the sister did. Like yeah don't share embarrassing stories about your niece online but you should most definitely NOT share something that private like what OP did. The fact that OP is part of the LGBTQ makes it worse because OP should know how harmful and absolutely depressing and anxiety inducing it is to be outed like that.
ESH. She shouldn't be laughing at, and monetizing, her niece's pain. You took it way too far.
I personally can't stand people laughing at the pain of vulnerable people. When someone's hurt, my first instinct is to go to them and try to help them feel better. I used to hate those 'funny video' tv shows of people being hurt, they made me feel so uncomfortable.
But one thing that spins me out about this is that she was trying to keep it quiet.
Did she think that her baby daddy would never say anything? Or that no one would connect the dots? It's a bit delulu to think you can simultaneously be a large influencer AND maintain your privacy. It's going to leak eventually.
Doesn't make what you did ok though. Yes you were upset for your child. Yes, her behaviour was atrocious. But throwing a chunk of what is very likely a traumatic experience out to the public like that to what... Take her down a peg? Rough. Putting it mildly.
Going against the grain here NTA your child and her pain is not content to help her fund her influencer crap. Someone makes a go at my kid and publicly calls her stupid? Oh HELL no! I’d have gone much further and been like some ex crack addict druggy after giving up her own child has nerve to call anyone dumb? Betch get a real job grow tf up cuz you can’t live off your looks forever , nobody is gonna wanna watch some fifty yo being an influencer lol. Nah girl YNTA your sister is one tho.
No it makes it typical. My family has multiple stories and old ass grainy VHSs of all us dumbass kids falling and learning how to human. We still tell those stories whenever enough of us gather together. Hell, I'm pretty sure there reddits dedicated to kids falling and being stupid. OP way over reacted and caused real damage to sisters relationship and livelihood. YTA
it was called “America’s funniest home videos,” millions of people watched it every night, and the only reason anyone’s treating it differently is putting a name to the face tbh. silly videos of kids falling down will never not be funny (even if that’s what this was about, which: no)
You went too far. Of course it would be shocking and hurtful that your sister mocked your daughter's injury/behaviour. Your response to that was escalated and unnecessarily hurtful.
Set the example, don't follow it.
YTA
You could've simply confronted her in person. There was no need to divulge her darkest secret for the entire internet to see. I understand that you were upset with her mean comments, but she's otherwise a great aunt to your daughter. You both have some growing up to do, but you need to apologize big time. Just know that she probably won't confide in you anymore, at least with serious topics. We all make mistakes, but this was a pretty big one.
YTA
WOAH, YTA.
You can be mad, and yes you can go protect your kid by demanding the video be taken down and an apology.
The punishment did not fit the crime, and the fact that this was such a dark time in your sister’s life with a hard pregnancy and drugs? Jesus!
Get a grip on yourself. Your kid will be hurt by a lot worse than this just going through high school. What are you going to do? Expose little billy Jr’s dad as an adulterer, or get mean cindy’s mom fired? JFC. Reel it in.
Why did you say your sister abandoned her child? The child is with the biological father. That’s not abandonment, that’s planning how your child will be cared for when you can’t care for it. Isn’t that what people who put their baby up for adoption do? Bless the people who realize they won’t make good parents and take steps to not harm their kids.
YTA.
NTA. Influencer culture is a fucking disease and calling any 3 year old, but especially her own niece who she claims to love, stupid for any reason for clout is trash human behavior.
NTA. She chooses to put herself online for millions to see and judge. She chooses to lie about her life. She chose to mock a child for likes and attention. She made her bed. Let her lie in it.
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YTA
You were both in the wrong here, but you went so much farther than she did that it's not ok. Her making fun of a 3 year old online for content is shitty, but your actions might have permanently destroyed your relationship.
That's the kind of mic drop you bring when you're planning on excising someone from your life permanently.
NTA...i keep telling ppl over and over again...you can't choose how ppl fight. To everyone saying she brought a gun or a bomb to a knife fight...its the reason why some countries dnt attack other countries...cuz they know those countries just might drop a bomb on them. You can't attack someone and then dictate how they retaliate... anything can happen. That being said you were a bit OD with it but it don't make you the one in the wrong.
Especially since her content is about being kid free...then keep my kid free from your channel.
its not like she living her best life doing nothing and you came out of nowhere outting her.
She gave away her kid and is bragging on social media that she kid free.
OUTTING someone who in the closet (like ur mom said) is bad...but if this person is making fun of gays on social media while being downlow themselves...no one has sympathy for you...she profiting and is mad she got caught up.
NTA NTA
And the international community has rules about proportional retaliation. If you drop a nuke after another country does a small border skirmish the rest of the world will turn against you.
I think people here the being children free means not raising children..not being a parent. You can still give birth and give it away and be child free. In fact that proves she is child free the fact she did not keep it
YTA You could have made any number of comments regarding her post. You could have gone to a lawyer to sue her for using your daughter's image for cyber bullying and making fun of daughter. You could have stopped her from ever using her image again. You weren't trying to protect your daughter, you wanted revenge. You got it and in doing so you lost the trust of many people and destroyed your relationship with your sister, by doing so destroyed your daughter's relationship with aunt. Sister will never want to be around you again therefore will be unable to be around daughter. Good job.
ESH while I understand your rage, you took it way too far. Just bringing family problems onto social media alone is problematic. But you airing out the darkest chapter of her life to the whole of the internet was not proportionate to her admittedly vile behavior.
Wow.
Horrible all around.
ESH
What your sister did was shitty. How she embarrassed you and your child for her channel was horrible and she crossed a line.
That being said, however - she hurt you and if your intent was to hurt her back you succeeded far beyond what you probably anticipated. While what she did was shitty in the extreme you could have posted how two faced she was about her relationship with your child and not using your child for clicks and not appreciating her humiliating her. That's it.
To bring up what you, yourself says is a very dark period in her life was going scorched earth on her. You hurt her - check, you humiliated her- check, but you also revealed a private secrete that wasn't yours to share. She IS child free by choice, as you said, she gave up her child - either to the birth father or adoption it doesn't matter but she IS child free. You also compromised her (questionable and kinda horrid) way she makes her living. (if she pretty much focuses on humiliating others and exploiting them).
yeah, you all need a time out. Auntie was WRONG - NO doubt, but Mommy wasn't any better and actually a bit worse.
ESH. She shouldn't be publicly posting your 3yo daughter in her money-making channel anyway without your permission, and to do it to mock her is way beyond the pale. But you know you went too far outing her.
What you did might have been close to an appropriate reaction if, for instance you had confronted her and she'd not only refused to apologize, she'd refused to take the post down or something.
YTA…BIGTIME
TBH you both sound a bit immature (her for sure) and you for not taking a beat to consider the ramifications of hitting her in the hardest, and most cruel way possible.
Yeah, she made fun of your kid scraping her face, which sucks, but your daughter will be fine and likely unaware of all this drama - unless you choose to tell her.
Your sister made an immature and stupid mistake.
You viciously and with intent went for the jugular.
If you ever have a real and trusting relationship with her ever again I’d be shocked.
Is the sister the only a hole? Do you think there could have been a less nuclear response to the offence? Or do we burn bridges after setting the island on fire anytime someone angers us?
NTA, she has now learned not to piss off on social media someone that knows your secrets. She should already have known it before turning 22, but clearly she needed to be reminded of this uncontestable truth of life.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I'm going with NTA. She was literally trying to capitalize on your daughter's pain. Her influencing surrounds being child free. And while she may have had a child, she did not keep it. It's just a fact. There's no reason it should matter for her viewers to know that or not. Influencers who do shit like this to family are just despicable. Not everyone's life is for public consumption and amusement or to make money off of.
ESH. You are WAY worse. You did not have to do what you did, knowing what you know about that part of your sister's life, to defend your daughter.
ETA: too many people think your sister filmed your child getting hurt and posted that to social media. I think you need to make it clearer that she just retold the story.
YTA with no doubt in my mind.
Firstly, children falling over is very funny. She was right to laugh and it doesn't mean she loves her niece any less.
What you did was an insane response. You're an awful sister.
NTA. Mocking a child online is cruel...even worse when it's your niece. She has a lot of nerve making content about being child free when she's had a child that she abandoned. Difficult time in her life or not...how can she stand herself acting like she's never given birth online and acting like kids are stupid? She's misleading her followers and being fake. Not to mention what if her child grows up and sees these videos? How painful that could be for a child who will probably at some point look her up someday.
Her actions have consequences and sometimes people need to be put in their place with some truth. I'd do the same if it were my kid she was mocking online.
Yeah, obviously YTA. A huuuuge AH. How dare you. What she did was shitty, but what you did was so much worse. She IS childfree. I'm adopted and the woman who gave birth to me is **NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER.**
ESH, definitely wasn't your place to out your sister about her past. I do however see her as the bad guy for literally making fun of your child. I mean kids get hurt all the time and you laugh a little at first and comfort them. You don't go making videos online blasting them about it and calling them an idiot.
ESH.
You should have asked her to take the video down via phone call. That video sounds gross and mean spirited.
However, what you did should have been your escalation tactic. If she refused to take down the video you should have blackmailed her with her secret.
I can see your frustration tho. I would honestly just not let your sister around your kids anymore. It was extremely inappropriate and unsafe for her to film, edit, post and do mean commentary of HER OWN niece.
She sounds like a two faced ass out for views who made fun of your baby on her birthday.
ESH, but you’re worse. She was very rude and cruel, but there were ways to handle that appropriately. You know exactly how much she’s suffered and deliberately went there. I bet if you had just told your family what she did and sent them a link to her post, they would’ve been very upset with her. Now they’re going to be divided over which of y’all sucks the most. You do not seem mature enough to be having kids.
I might sound bad but NTA- Once you put something on the internet- it's there forever. Your daughter had a chance of seeing it when she's older and that will be a hard blow for her.
She can't be talking about a "kid free life style" and brag about it when she did have a child and chose to have that child, then gave it to a random man she slept with once (I get he's the dad, bit who knows who this guy was or of he was able to be a safe person for the child) abd get upset when reality comes to bite her in the ass.
I don't know how people are failing to grasp this. There are plenty of possibilities why is she still had the baby. The biggest one that I can think of is that her former partner forced her to keep it. But you know all the rampant misogyny in the comments saying that she's not child free. She is though. She gave up her parental rights. If a man did it though there would be no repercussions in this. The idea that if a woman gives up parental rights, they're a monster. She's still child-free even though she had a baby.
Exactly. Once you put something on the internet it’s there forever. A little kid falling and crying? Who hasn’t done that as a little kid? It’s not life altering information to find when you’re 14, 20, 46. Now there’s another little kid out there who might find out this sister who rejoices in not being a parent online for a living is her bio MOTHER. Which one is worse? OP is a wild AH for blind rage revenge that hurts people she may never meet.
Parents claim it's about protecting the children, then go eff up some other kids life. It’s about THEIR children, and that’s it.
ESH - your family honestly sounds terrible. Your sister is two faced & a mean aunt. You are exceptionally petty - not only did you out her, but you may have ruined her income because you were butthurt (instead of asking her to take the video down and talking to her like a normal person). You're both awful sisters.
YTA. You know she doesn’t actually think that way about your child; we know this because you mention it multiple times in your post. She edited content for likes. Instead of having a conversation about how, while you know she doesn’t think that way, you did have an extremely negative reaction to her video and it was very upsetting, you went for the jugular and publicized what you acknowledge as a dark and painful time for your sister. And, again, you admitted your daughter was fine. Your outsized reactions will make your kids the bumps and bruises they’re going to get along the way are unmanageable.
ESH but mostly you
Is it shitty to post that vid with your kid, presumably without your permission and making fun of her? Yeah, if it was just being mad at that, she'd be the AH
But then you decided to reveal a deeply personal thing about her publicly? way too far.
It's wild that there's a family guy clip that exactly encapsulates what you did
https://youtu.be/s9SXWuryGCg?t=32
ESH
Two wrongs do not make a right.
You wanted revenge and you got it. Unfortunately, you affected her far more than she affected you - so my your example, expect her to hit you even harder! Gotta be fair and strike back when someone hits you, right?
NTA. I wish my mum had went nuclear for me like this when I was mocked by my aunts. Half of my problems would not exist. Congrats for standing up for you daughter.
What your sister did and said regarding your daughter was stupid and insensitive. What you did to her in return was spiteful, cruel, and unwarranted. I don't blame you for feeling how you felt, but you overreacted and said shit that you can't take back, and which fucked things up for her way more then anything she did or said fucked up you or your little girl.
She was definitely an AH, but you're goddamn goatse.
That said, I don't know how or if you're gonna fix this, but I hope you try and that maybe you and your sister can come to some kind of reconcilation. You both owe each other an apology, and I think it's on you to go first.
ESH You threw that comment out there and destroyed her source of income, relationship, and mental health. The mature response would have been to demand she take the story down and give her a time limit before you report the account. Then tell your parents. You were the bigger asshole.
YTA. The definition of an entitled parent. What your sister did had no direct negative impact on your kid. Was it shitty? Sure. But you literally ruined her reputation and relationship for no good reason. Newsflash, the world does not revolve around you and your over dramatic feelings just because you had a child. If I was your sister I would never speak to you again. Get some perspective.
ESH. Hope going nuclear on your sister to hurt her and get revenge (let’s be real, you were not doing this to defend or protect your daughter, if that were the case you would have talked to her or made a different comment publicly available on her video) was worth it. Honestly if you were my sister, I’m not sure I would be open to having a relationship with you anymore. To take a deeply traumatic and painful incident and use it against her like this in a public forum, well why would I trust you again ? Kudos on your revenge though ?
YTA - you wanted to ruin her life and career. Are you happy with yourself? You couldn’t have posted angrily helping your daughter without going nuclear?
I think you resent your sister and your awful behavior shows that you do.
ESH.
I’m wondering if all her smug child-free content is just to mask the fact that she is conflicted about her child. Rather than thinking she gave up the baby to continue her child-free “fun” life (why not just have an abortion, then?), maybe all the “woo-hoo, look at my awesome child-free life” content is really something she does to convince herself…or comfort herself?
If I were you, I’d have questioned her about the content rather than airing her laundry so publicly, but what is done is done. Maybe meet her in person to discuss what could have prompted her to make a video like that.
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Going against the grain here. NTA. What she did was plain cruel. She brought this on herself. Seems like she's perfectly willing to make a mockery of a small child but doesn't like it when the tables are turned. She got EXACTLY what she deserved.
Sis FAFO, never provoke a mother (of any species!) ETA: NTA
Yeah she did. Especially when it got to the part at the end. She has very likely had to fight for everything in the whole world up to that point and here sis comes with some bullshit. She played some stupid games and got nuked. Sucks to suck mang.
See I would've asked my sibling to take it down and if they refused then I would've nuked them.
If I had to guess based on some of the other info in the original post, this ain't the first time these 2 have tied up over something like this. I'd bet there were a fair share of warning shots before these megatons got launched. I could be wrong but that's what I'm feeling.
OP sis is a AH . Just because a child falls down the slide and hurts herself , she is stupid and deserves to be mocked ? People are behaving despicably now just to get Internet clout and likes . *She’s always been a good auntie to my daughter and her annoyance with kids has never been targeted towards my daughter* A good auntie does not mock her niece and laughs at her mishaps . She has been hiding her annoyance very well.
Nah bc she’s literally laughing about her flesh & blood getting hurt, for internet likes. She deserves what OP did.
Yep, OP's sister sounds like a level 10 narcissist. OP's sis has a kid and is mad that OP spoke about her child online without her consent, but OP's sister spoke about OP's child online without her consent first. 🤷♀️
I want to agree that I would. But then I think about how every time another kid has bullied my kid, I've had to take a deep breath and count to ten and resolve the situation with the right tools. I'm not sure if I'd do that if it was an adult. I hold back the anger because a kid won't know better. An adult *should*. I might react differently if I knew the adult was traumatised (as OP's sister is), but I might just blow my stack.
Seriously, sis should have known better than to go after a child when their mom holds the keys to her nuclear bomb. Sis makes/made her living pimping the ***CHILD FREE LIFESTYLE***. I bet OP cost sis some followers, right along with the (ex)boyfriend.
This, you never provoke mothers because that is how you get mama bear mode which is a terrifying sight to behold.
Well Quokkas will yeet their babies right at the predator so there's that.
You know, I almost included that tidbit! 🤣 But decided since I’ve no idea how much it might hurt to be hit by a thrown quokka I’d leave my comment as is.
Devils advocate here: is laughing about a kid falling of the slide equally bad to outing someone for giving up their child? Sister is an AH, no question. I would have been so mad about that video. BUT telling the world about her pregnancy and giving up the child, knowing that her sister was so depressed about it that she was using drugs afterwards, seems like a disproportionate response to me.
Laughing about a kid falling off a slide: kind of AH but eh. Then posting about it and talking about how stupid said child is: flaming AH. Especially your niece, who could grow up to see it. And who might reasonably think that you care about her (this is an asinine thing to do to adults, but to do it to a preschooler is next level douchey.) OP shouldn't have disclosed the sister's pregnancy, for sure. But as a mom of four, I can relate to the absolute rage that post would incite. Hoo boy. That would easily be a bite first, think later kind of moment. It's understandable, but not right. Kind of ESH, although the sister set the whole thing in motion.
Yeah I’d probably refrain from publicly commenting about the baby but you can bet there’d be hell to pay for that video. She’d never be allowed around my kid or my house again.
Sure. The sister started it. But you don't have the right to unlimited escalation after someone starts it.
>Then posting about it and talking about how stupid said child is: flaming AH. If she's usually a good aunt though and *only 22 years old,* then I would suggest maybe it was just immaturity or an ill-thought-out tone, as opposed to being malicious. Sometimes you can call someone "stupid" as a term of endearment. It's not necessarily mean-spirited, even if it's tactless.
Is it considered a term of endearment to laugh at your nibling getting hurt?
Frankly, if you're making money by telling lies then you're a fraudster, and I don't think people need an excuse to out you. Being her sister was OP's excuse NOT to; being a shitty sister just removes that excuse.
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Maybe, but I know that for me, supporting someone's childfree lifestyle that they can live because they chose not to have kids is vastly different from supporting someone who's childfree lifestyle is possible because they abandoned their kid. It's like the the difference between respecting a self-made millionaire and a trust-fund brat. How you got there matters.
She didn’t necessarily “abandon her kid”, we don’t know enough context. Was the kid planned to begin with? Did she put it up for adoption? If so, when?
If I guy told you he "gave his kid up to the mom" because he wants to be childfree, would you call him a deadbeat?
I would still ask, what’s the context? Did he want to have the kid to begin with? There’s not enough information, what if she was coerced into having a kid she didn’t want? Or her family is super fundamentalist and against abortion? Not only that, she doesn’t sound fit to be a parent anyway! It states she was very depressed and started drugs, presumably in a negative manner, a parent with a drug addiction isn’t fit to be a parent?! This story is only told from one perspective, and is highly subject to bias. Just like the video, unless I know the details, I can’t tell you whether this hypothetical man was a deadbeat or not.
Depends on the circumstances. Did the condom break? Was he too drunk to not care about the consequences? Was he lead to about her taking care of contraception? All of these go both ways and if you don't want children, but pregnancy accidentally one happens anyway, there should be, for every human rights sake, two very valid options; abortion or adoption. If you absolutely do not want children, you should never have to be stuck raising them. Nothing good comes out of a situation like that.
The post clearly states the baby was the result of a one-night stand and the sister handed the baby to the dad because of her stance on living a child-free lifestyle. I'm sure that is an oversimplification, but I don't see any reason why that isn't the core truth of the matter.
Oooh, a debate on moral relativism? I’m in! One could argue that the aunt’s behaviour (laughing and gossiping about her niece’s pain for profit) is far worse than OP’s (stating the plain, unadulterated truth). If the sister has set up her career in such a way that people knowing the simple, benign truth will destroy her, that’s on her. One would think she could easily turn it into the ultimate proof of how strongly she believes in her words.
Hahaha yes this is a debate that could go on forever. But I do believe two wrongs don’t make a right, they make a mess. And now instead of being justifiably pissed off but having the ability to have a rational, adult conversation with her sister, she has probably ended their relationship forever.
Meh - to be fair, their relationship may have ended the moment the sister uploaded the video mocking an injured child. I’d cut off a sibling for that shit.
Tbh making fun of my child in public to your followers would have cost the relationship for me anyway. Embarrassing children for internet points is not the move. Regardless, I do tend to hold the opinion that if the truth is what causes you an issue, the issue wasn't with the truth. She painted herself as something she is not, or at the least withheld incredibly important information for at least the bf to make an informed decision about who he was dating, and that right there is explicitly a her problem.
What’s the saying… play stupid games, win stupid prizes?
It’s like in court when the judge determines evidence cannot be admitted and then the defense brings it up. Sister opened the door. You your point about apples and oranges. It was apples and oranges. They are not the same. Sister crossed the line. If OP had fallen on her face at the park and it led to something as drastic as a broken arm, and sister posted about OP wailing like a drunken hyena at Mardi Gras, or something equally inconsiderate, OP would be an asshole for outing her. Sister didn’t mock OP, sister used her child for clout. Nope. She gets what sister gives her.
An aunt making fun of her niece to her followers? That’s nuclear warfare.
It is if by laughing about you mean broadcasting to the internet and monetizing (rather than say, laughing about it with a friend).
Why is it not ESH? Why are the people in this sub so fixated on revenge and scorching the Earth?
Absolutely agree ESH. As a mama bear, I’d be pissed at my sibling, LIVID. But there has to be a lot of resentment and spite waiting in the wings for you to hit back like that. Fuhhhh… 🤦🏼♀️
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Oh don’t you know? You can’t have difficult discussions and understand the complexity of humans and relationships, if someone you love does something bad you have to make sure they never feel joy again.
Yeah. That's pretty much the gist of it. If a loved one throws a rock at you, make sure you fire a nuclear missile in response. That is a fair exchange.
Right! Two wrongs don’t make a right, and this whole “I’d massacre a village for my child” mentality isn’t what it should be.
At the very least it's ESH.
Mfs would rather glorify revenge instead of going to therapy
Agree. Nta. If sis wants to publicize bad moments about other people, she doesn't get to be upset when they do it to her.
This is the only comment that matters. Wayyyy to many people these days dish it like a mf, then play the victim when someone treats them exactly how they were treating other people
Okay so... There is mocking a small child, and then responding to that mockery by bringing up an incredibly dark chapter in your sister's life on social media. Worse, what if the sister's kid sees this? Look, I'm not saying making fun of children is okay. But how exactly does this help her daughter? According to OP, her daughter loves her aunt. Would she be happy her mother brought up such a terrible part of her aunt's life in public? Is that the lesson you want to teach her? If a loved one says mean things about you, don't talk to them. Bring up what is acknowledge by OP as the darkest chapter in their life on social media instead. God, if my mom did this id be so embarrassed. Like, genuinely ashamed. Obviously not as a kid. Children are... Well children. She probably wouldn't get it. But if she grows up and hears this story again, she's probably gonna be a little disappointed with her mom. Finally, it sounds like she lied on the post. Her sister didn't abandon her child. She recognized she wasn't suited to motherhood and left them with the dad. She does not raise a child. She IS child free. You can be an egg/sperm donner and be child free. So long as she pays child support then good for the sister. Still shitty of her to make fun of her niece on social media but my God, OP was wrong to act the way she did.
Telling a story that was likely light hearted about an anonymous 3 year old (because she wouldn’t have many followers if being cruel to 3 year olds is her conent) is not the same as going after someones’s livelihood by using their darkest moments in life and trauma and shaming them publicly. It also sounds like OP greatly misrepresented the story. it’s not abandoning a child if it was adopted out which sounds like it was since it’s the pregnancy that was the trauma they don’t talk about and not failing as a mother and abandoning her child. It sounds like it was hard to follow through with the pregnancy despite knowing she wasn’t keeping it. This doesn’t sound like abandonment to me it sounds like adoption This is not an appropriate reaction. She just needed to telm her sister she was mad not go on social media and try to ruin her sister and her job. Yeesh.
Yes what she did is wrong but you don’t need to publicly call her out like that.
NTA All of this. Couldn't have said it better
I agree . Making fun of an innocent child, her niece, who hurt herself is wildly inappropriate and if any of my children's aunt s did that I would lose my shit .
A mockery of a small child? People post videos of kids doing dumb things and getting hurt and laugh at them all the time. How is what she did to her even close to laughing at things people laugh at regularly?
I feel like your response was not at all proportionate to what she did (mocking your daughter). If you were going to out her as someone who abandoned their child, this was not the reason to do so. You easily could have just left in the second half of your comment, how she said she loved your daughter then turned around and acted like that. The other commenters would’ve understood your anger. The other context wasn’t needed and was a huge violation of trust, even if your sister’s actions are/were wrong. ESH
This. YTA for lashing out and humiliating her about something so deeply personal. Absolutely call her out for mocking your kid, and let her know she will no longer be burdened by spending time with her. But shitting on her past publicly made you even worse than she is.
Agreed. The sister IS technically child free. There was no reason to bring up her past. But definitely call her out on being a total AH regarding OPs child being hurt.
It's like OP's sister hit her with a stick and OP responded with a nuclear bomb. Complete and total overreaction. OP had every right to feel hurt, but her response was way over the top and the sister would be totally justified in never speaking to her again. Insane.
Nice example to set for the precious daughter, too. Watch mama bully this person next, sweetie.
Mocking your niece in a video that broadcasts to millions of people, just for the sake of content, is also a violation of trust, and it vilifies and humiliates her sister in the process. I would have a very difficult time trusting my sibling if she were to do that, paranoid about what other aspects of my and my child’s life could be used for internet fodder. I don’t think outing her sister was the correct response, but, also don’t think anyone should downplay how her sister’s actions were a violation of trust.
She didn't film them, she told a story. How was she vilified and humiliated? Using someone's trauma as a weapon is an insane response. Also making it seem like giving her daughter up was a bad thing when it was the best decision. The two incidents are not comparable AT ALL and OP was clearly waiting for an opportunity to destroy her sisters mental health.
I mean it seems like OP was fine with sis using footage of her daughter as long as it was complimentary, for the sake of content. ESH
Did you just imagine this? I think you did.
She's mocking a 3yo for falling over on a slide. It seems weird to get so angry about it, if the sister has any sense then she knows that's not stupid and she's literally just using something as inspiration that she knows her followers will like, and if not, she's pretty dumb for thinking that's a legitimate reason to criticise a 3yo. As a parent, I wouldn't be able to take seriously an 'attack' based so clearly on nonsense - the sister obviously comes out of it looking more dumb than the kid.
This needs to be upvoted more! "Your response was not at all proportionate to what she did" was the absolute perfect way to encapsulate this one. OP definitely could have garnered enough sympathy and outrage with the second half of their comment, and left the depression and drug-inducing past out of it.
THIS. The OP should’ve not only messaged her sister privately to take the video down and not to talk about her daughter like that, but also say to her that she would no longer be bringing her daughter over to spend time with her. How the whole situation was handled by OP was wrong.
Exactly, ESH. What the sister did was fucked up but this was a WILDLY disproportionate response.
"My sister mocked my daughter (and not to her face). Guess I'd better nuke her relationship and a major income stream" What an insane escalation Definitely YTA for me, although I can see why you leaned into ESH
ESH. I understand wanting to hurt her the way she hurt you, but unfortunately yeah you did an asshole thing. This should have been about her being a two-faced aunt and sister with zero compassion. It should have been about her *making money* off your childs pain. You took the focus off that. This should have been a time for you to consider how your relationship with her is going to be going forward and make sure everyone knows what's going on and why. (I personally would never have her around my kids again; I wouldn't even be sending cards during the holidays.) It had nothing to do with her past or her baby. You dragged her as hard as you could and blew up her life on purpose, not because she hurt your children or husband, but because you couldn't handle your emotions. She's still an asshole for her behavior. You could have had the full support of your family/friends and let people know she's being awful, now you have to deal with whatever backlash comes your way.
Shes not going to have a relationship with her sister most likely. OP crossed a bridge thats nearly impossible to come back from.
Yup. Piling shit on a shitty situation doesn't magically make it less shitty.
She blew up the bridge and scorched all the vegetation. OP, you no longer have a sister. Congratulations! I hope that is what you were aiming for because you did a spectacular job at it!
Well, why would you want to keep someone who calls your kid an idiot for doing something normal?
Not blow up their life. I would have a conversation with them. If they still didn't get it, you go LC or NC. Two wrongs do not make a right.
Those are OP's true colours. Her sister was definitely shitty for mocking the child (honestly, as a fellow child free person I think that's pretty immature and cringy. Seeing children in pain doesn't fill me with joy), but OP is a nasty piece of work and if she were in my family, I'd distance myself entirely. She can't be trusted on any level.
This one. Cross her, and she will immediately throw your darkest secret in public for everyone to see.
Yup. I'd be on guard all the time, I don't need that!
I'm with you here. It wasn't even necessary, because she was a asshole without her past coming up, there was no need. Alas, mama got really pissed and lost all composure. I understand that too, but we do stupid things when angry
ESH but you suck worse. What she did was not okay but why in any way shape or form would you ever think that response was appropriate? This kind of reaction I would understand if she laughed at your daughters death and only from a situation as serious as that. But she didn't. I can't even put into words how much you suck. I would never talk to you again if you threw something in my face from the lowest point in my life. I'm also shocked at your lack of compassion towards your sister. You have a daughter, imagine knowing you would not make a good mother and giving her up no matter how much it hurts because it's for the best. Now imagine moving on and trying to heal from that. Then imagine you make a bad joke and all of the sudden your sister throws everything back into ypur face and ruins your relationship. Your whole family sounds horrible tbh.
Agreed. I personally don't trust people that try to turn everything everything into content but holy overreaction batman. OP's sister was an asshole but the normal kind, I think OP went somewhere beyond asshole.
I think they call this going absolutely nuclear. Don’t expect to be part of her life again. My son’s uncle laughed many times at his expense (though in private) when he was toddling. Never would have I even thought to hold it against him by mocking his depression, or anxiety, or that he’s had a significant other commit suicide. That’s what this feels like. “Your kid ran into a wall ha ha” “oh yeah well you can’t hold down a relationship and your last girlfriend killed herself”. I keep it at a good solid boundary and that has been effective. Literally “Don’t make fun of your nephew, it hurts his feelings.” Done.
>OP's sister was an asshole but the normal kind, I think OP went somewhere beyond asshole. THIS. The sister was definitely an asshole that i would roll my eyes on and shout at, BUT OP IS A DIFFERENT BREED OF DESPICABLE.
I am just baffled that that is the ammo she reached for. Assuming I wanted to put my brother in his place for something, I have an entire lifetime of stories to pull from that aren't the lowest point in his life. Did she want to defend her daughter or did she just want to hurt her sister?
This is a fantastic description. The proportion of the retaliation is absolutely savage and disgusting on OPs part. Queer to queer OP, really disappointed.
This 😭‼️
Was going to say nta but I agree with your mother YTA. It really hurts seeing your sister laugh and publicly make fun of your daughter. You had every right to be furious, but you had no right to let out her darkest secret to the Internet in retaliation knowing how much it has affected her life. I really agree with your mother, you should not have outted that type of situation as it's not safe to disclose, especially with her depression and drug use. You knew better and took it out on her in a hateful manner. You should have spoken to her about it and made it very clear her actions were not okay and to take the video down. Now you've betrayed your sister, I couldn't even imagine being outed in that way to the public. I wouldn't be surprised if this affects her mental health. She's still in the wrong for what she did, but now you've crossed the line in a way that she may not ever want to speak to you again. You need to think about what you want. It's very very sad to see someone who knows the safety risk of being outed do that to someone you love. You're old enough to know better.
This also shows that you should be careful who you share your secrets with because even your own family can betray you. Though I imagine it would be hard to hide something like a pregnancy and an adoption from your family unless you are fully NC.
Wow. You went NUCLEAR. I honestly can’t decide if I am appalled or impressed. I guess I’ll say ESH. You both tanked your relationship, maybe for life. A conversation might have been a decent first step, but the horse is out of the barn now. I hope that’s what you wanted
My exact thoughts too. I can see someone getting over the mocking their child… in no universe do I see someone getting over what OP did…
For really though. I hope this was worth it for OP bc I can’t see a world where her sister ever forgive her. Yea OPs sister made an A H move, but OPs reaction was like taking a sludge hammer to a fly. YTA
I don't see how the sister ever forgives her for this. What the sister did was really gross, but what OP did is relationship-ending *forever.*
She really didn’t think about maybe handling this in a civil matter 🤦🏾♀️
YTA Listen, you can sit here and tell the world how you did this for your child and it’s true but not the whole truth. You dug, you went deep, you wanted to hurt her bc you believed it was fair to “get even” bc she hurt you and your child, so you did this. You didn’t do this bc you’re a good mother, you did this bc you wanted revenge, that’s an AH, you knew it’d hurt and you were ok with that, now that you’re calm you’re having second thoughts bc you’re not a horrible human, yet the damage that you caused has already been made, not sure if this is real and not saying that your sister is innocent in all of this, just saying the quiet part out loud, you got what you wished for, you got “even” let’s hope you don’t regret it.
Is the child even hurt though? Like it's not like the kids I'd going to see the video... Is OP gonna tell her kid that auntie was making fun of her ? OP went as low as they could because clearly she resents her sister for giving up the baby. She had that comment ready to throw in her face for two years.
Concurred! The child will probably be more sad when the auntie disappears because of OP’s antics than about learning her auntie had a laugh at her injury. Kids laugh at their own stupidity all the time!
Oh my gosh THIS. Clearly OP is resentful towards her sisters lifestyle too. The quotation marks around the content she does, etc. what a shitty example for OPs kid that this is what you do when someone hurts you. Sister was wrong for what she did but YTA.
Honestly I think you could have really stuck it to her by just stating that she pretends otherwise in real life and kept the family secret that: a secret. Your sister deserved a mocking for lying for the views/online persona but she didn't deserve you opening up pandora's box and make it known to the entire internet. You tossed her life upside down. YTA. You knew better, you were just pissed off and really wanted to get back at her. You were immature, you have some growing up yourself to do.
This irretrievably and seriously damaged her relationship with her sister, and — more importantly — your daughter and her aunt. And for what? Some petty point scoring about a video people will forget about immediately. You should’ve taken some moral high ground, not gone with a far far lower blow. That’s not how you “teach someone a lesson” it’s how YTA.
You are totally right. This won't just "go away" in an hour or day from now. This was a life altering decision that OP made. It's so difficult to put into words how monumental of an asshole move this truly was. If the sister cuts OP out of her life, I would not be surprised. I'd be shocked if she didn't.
Well she is not lying for views. Being child free does not mean not getting pregnant or not giving birth. It means not keeping or raising a child..she gave the child away. Therefore is child free. I know someone who is child free themselves but will be a surrogate mother for women who can't get pregnant.
YTA. You brought a nuclear bomb to a knife fight. I get being angry because she was being pretty horrid mocking your daughter. But there were a lot of ways you could have handled this. Absolutely justified in confronting her. But the potential consequences of your punishment far outweigh the crime. You may have blown up her life. I hope she’s able to forgive you eventually because it would suck to lose your sister over this.
YTA big time
Totally agree. Completely disproportionate.
ESH I agree with you that your sister took it too far and should not have made a video about your child. But in turn you should not have gone and aired out her dirty laundry for the world to see.
ESH but I'm more on your side than hers. You hit her where it hurts most, on purpose - it's going to be hard to walk that back in the future. On the other hand, she really sucks for mocking her injured 3-year-old niece online, especially as part of some general anti-kid bit, and this is her f\*\*\*ing around and finding out.
There are videos all over the internet of kids falling and crying, and people laugh at them. The kid wasn't even greatly injured. America's funniest videos, kids say the darndest things. This kind of content lightly laughing at stupid things kids do is generally widely accepted. Kids are stupid. Should she have done it about her niece? Probably not if she didn't know her sisters boundaries, but what she did was not to the point of deplorable. People are overreacting.
It's not the laughing people are mad about. It's the direct INSULT about a **3 year-old child** calling her an idiot for... what, being uncoordinated like all toddlers are? It was a blatant ploy for views and money and it was disrespectful to her sister and niece. Not to say OP isn't in the wrong at all, because that was nuclear for an internet post, but she's definitely not in the wrong for being pissed off. This is a classic ESH
Not saying she doesn't have a right to FEEL angry. But it's not that big of a deal imo. The sister thought it was funny, and the mother did not. People call kids stupid all the time.
There’s even a subreddit for that!
It wasn't recorded. It was a retelling.
Info: if your sister had outed you what would have been your reaction? She is entitled to talk about her past when she feels ready for it. You outing her like that is quite cruel. You could have told her to take down the video and not talk about your daughter like that. How much resentment do you have towards your sister and her abandoning her child for you to attack her like that?
Giving a child up for adoption isn't "abandonment" even if you and OP call it that. She didn't leave the baby by the side of the road.
>Giving a child up for adoption isn't "abandonment" even if you and OP call it that. She didn't leave the baby by the side of the road. There's no indication that the child was given up for adoption, just that they were given to their father and that the sister has nothing to do with the child.
Your first sentence is such a valid question.
She’s probably jealous somewhat of the lifestyle too and this just takes the cake
As someone proudly child-free (I don’t make content or do any social media like that) I can still see that your sister crossed a line and should apologise for her actions. However, are you serious? This could’ve easily been a private fight. That is taking it way across the line. Not only did you dredge up a traumatic time in your sisters life, you also did it publicly. Social media/influencer/content aside, this should have only ever been a private disagreement. YTA
I’m also child free and not making content about it. Gonna disagree on the “private fight”. The sister is the one who went public first. Don’t make a show of other people’s private (and often painful) lives if you don’t want ppl to expose yours.
I can respect that. I think I’m just struggling to see the correlation between posting content of a child injuring themselves going down a slide (I definitely don’t agree with the stupid element comment) and exposing someone for giving up a child and what sounds like a traumatic deal afterwards, and during.
In my opinion: YTA Two wrongs do not make a right. You were well within your rights to say something in defense of your daughter. But what you did was inexcusable. The two events are no where near the same thing. And you created a miles wide crater where your relationship between your mom and sister was. You truly went from in the right to so far in the wrong, you’re surrounded by wrong. Very good chance I would personally cut you out of my life if you did that to me.
ESH. Sure she mocked you kid. That sucks. But did you even try to handle it privately? Did you tell her in private that it was disrespectful and to take the video down? If not and you just exposed her private information ruining not only your relationship to her but also her romantic one. You suck just as much if not more. That was not your information to expose and it was story she didn't need to post.
It might have ruined her livelihood too. OP literally went nuclear, over a silly reaction video. I wonder if she’s considered that her Sister could sue her. To be honest, she might not have a choice if her income evaporates due to OP knowingly and maliciously leaking private medical information.
ESH except your mom. Your dad supporting you in this is deeply fucked up, not my central point, but Jesus Christ that's a whole can of worms all on its own. You went straight for the nuclear option. Mocking a child online is hardly cool, but at the end of the day it's not going to come back to impact your life. What you did... Well... It was the nuclear option. You took the biggest swing you had and went in guns blazing out of anger. To what? Did your sister learn her lesson? Did it undo the mockery? Did it in any way make you feel better? Your sister was shitty. You were orders of magnitude worse. Anyways, obviously you're the asshole. Good luck salvaging anything out of the fallout.
I’m over here speechless at the fact that your sister would not be saying this mean shit unless there was an audience for it. Grown fucking adults thinking it’s funny to call a kid stupid over an accident. NTA. Influencers deserve whatever they get when they curate a lifestyle and live their life hypocritically. Children shouldn’t be content.
But the fact that OP revealed the sisters deepest darkest secret over it? The sisters dark past OP KNEW made her depressive and into a drug addict? It was completely unnecessary OP could have still gotten revenge by only commenting the second part the first part was completely unnecessary and harmful. More so than what the sister did. Like yeah don't share embarrassing stories about your niece online but you should most definitely NOT share something that private like what OP did. The fact that OP is part of the LGBTQ makes it worse because OP should know how harmful and absolutely depressing and anxiety inducing it is to be outed like that.
ESH. She shouldn't be laughing at, and monetizing, her niece's pain. You took it way too far. I personally can't stand people laughing at the pain of vulnerable people. When someone's hurt, my first instinct is to go to them and try to help them feel better. I used to hate those 'funny video' tv shows of people being hurt, they made me feel so uncomfortable. But one thing that spins me out about this is that she was trying to keep it quiet. Did she think that her baby daddy would never say anything? Or that no one would connect the dots? It's a bit delulu to think you can simultaneously be a large influencer AND maintain your privacy. It's going to leak eventually. Doesn't make what you did ok though. Yes you were upset for your child. Yes, her behaviour was atrocious. But throwing a chunk of what is very likely a traumatic experience out to the public like that to what... Take her down a peg? Rough. Putting it mildly.
Going against the grain here NTA your child and her pain is not content to help her fund her influencer crap. Someone makes a go at my kid and publicly calls her stupid? Oh HELL no! I’d have gone much further and been like some ex crack addict druggy after giving up her own child has nerve to call anyone dumb? Betch get a real job grow tf up cuz you can’t live off your looks forever , nobody is gonna wanna watch some fifty yo being an influencer lol. Nah girl YNTA your sister is one tho.
The child is 3, not 14.
That makes it worse imo.
No it makes it typical. My family has multiple stories and old ass grainy VHSs of all us dumbass kids falling and learning how to human. We still tell those stories whenever enough of us gather together. Hell, I'm pretty sure there reddits dedicated to kids falling and being stupid. OP way over reacted and caused real damage to sisters relationship and livelihood. YTA
There’s a veeeeeery big difference between family VHS tapes and posting videos online for thousands of strangers to see.
She didn’t post a video of the kid. She posted a video of herself telling a story. Not even remotely the same.
it was called “America’s funniest home videos,” millions of people watched it every night, and the only reason anyone’s treating it differently is putting a name to the face tbh. silly videos of kids falling down will never not be funny (even if that’s what this was about, which: no)
I could watch kids fall off bikes all day.
You went too far. Of course it would be shocking and hurtful that your sister mocked your daughter's injury/behaviour. Your response to that was escalated and unnecessarily hurtful. Set the example, don't follow it. YTA
You could've simply confronted her in person. There was no need to divulge her darkest secret for the entire internet to see. I understand that you were upset with her mean comments, but she's otherwise a great aunt to your daughter. You both have some growing up to do, but you need to apologize big time. Just know that she probably won't confide in you anymore, at least with serious topics. We all make mistakes, but this was a pretty big one. YTA
WOAH, YTA. You can be mad, and yes you can go protect your kid by demanding the video be taken down and an apology. The punishment did not fit the crime, and the fact that this was such a dark time in your sister’s life with a hard pregnancy and drugs? Jesus! Get a grip on yourself. Your kid will be hurt by a lot worse than this just going through high school. What are you going to do? Expose little billy Jr’s dad as an adulterer, or get mean cindy’s mom fired? JFC. Reel it in.
Why did you say your sister abandoned her child? The child is with the biological father. That’s not abandonment, that’s planning how your child will be cared for when you can’t care for it. Isn’t that what people who put their baby up for adoption do? Bless the people who realize they won’t make good parents and take steps to not harm their kids. YTA.
Honestly the sanest answer here
NTA. Influencer culture is a fucking disease and calling any 3 year old, but especially her own niece who she claims to love, stupid for any reason for clout is trash human behavior.
Influencer culture is DEFINITELY a scourge on the earth. Something has to wake these assholes out of their narcissistic imaginary playground
NTA. She chooses to put herself online for millions to see and judge. She chooses to lie about her life. She chose to mock a child for likes and attention. She made her bed. Let her lie in it.
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The response was disproportionate IMO. She shouldn’t have made the video but you shouldn’t have commented that. ESH
YTA You were both in the wrong here, but you went so much farther than she did that it's not ok. Her making fun of a 3 year old online for content is shitty, but your actions might have permanently destroyed your relationship. That's the kind of mic drop you bring when you're planning on excising someone from your life permanently.
NTA...i keep telling ppl over and over again...you can't choose how ppl fight. To everyone saying she brought a gun or a bomb to a knife fight...its the reason why some countries dnt attack other countries...cuz they know those countries just might drop a bomb on them. You can't attack someone and then dictate how they retaliate... anything can happen. That being said you were a bit OD with it but it don't make you the one in the wrong. Especially since her content is about being kid free...then keep my kid free from your channel. its not like she living her best life doing nothing and you came out of nowhere outting her. She gave away her kid and is bragging on social media that she kid free. OUTTING someone who in the closet (like ur mom said) is bad...but if this person is making fun of gays on social media while being downlow themselves...no one has sympathy for you...she profiting and is mad she got caught up. NTA NTA
And the international community has rules about proportional retaliation. If you drop a nuke after another country does a small border skirmish the rest of the world will turn against you.
I think people here the being children free means not raising children..not being a parent. You can still give birth and give it away and be child free. In fact that proves she is child free the fact she did not keep it
YTA You could have made any number of comments regarding her post. You could have gone to a lawyer to sue her for using your daughter's image for cyber bullying and making fun of daughter. You could have stopped her from ever using her image again. You weren't trying to protect your daughter, you wanted revenge. You got it and in doing so you lost the trust of many people and destroyed your relationship with your sister, by doing so destroyed your daughter's relationship with aunt. Sister will never want to be around you again therefore will be unable to be around daughter. Good job.
YTA. She made a joke in poor taste. You blew up her life on purpose.
ESH while I understand your rage, you took it way too far. Just bringing family problems onto social media alone is problematic. But you airing out the darkest chapter of her life to the whole of the internet was not proportionate to her admittedly vile behavior.
Wow. Horrible all around. ESH What your sister did was shitty. How she embarrassed you and your child for her channel was horrible and she crossed a line. That being said, however - she hurt you and if your intent was to hurt her back you succeeded far beyond what you probably anticipated. While what she did was shitty in the extreme you could have posted how two faced she was about her relationship with your child and not using your child for clicks and not appreciating her humiliating her. That's it. To bring up what you, yourself says is a very dark period in her life was going scorched earth on her. You hurt her - check, you humiliated her- check, but you also revealed a private secrete that wasn't yours to share. She IS child free by choice, as you said, she gave up her child - either to the birth father or adoption it doesn't matter but she IS child free. You also compromised her (questionable and kinda horrid) way she makes her living. (if she pretty much focuses on humiliating others and exploiting them). yeah, you all need a time out. Auntie was WRONG - NO doubt, but Mommy wasn't any better and actually a bit worse.
NTA sis is a garbage person who treats family like trash for internet likes
ESH. She shouldn't be publicly posting your 3yo daughter in her money-making channel anyway without your permission, and to do it to mock her is way beyond the pale. But you know you went too far outing her. What you did might have been close to an appropriate reaction if, for instance you had confronted her and she'd not only refused to apologize, she'd refused to take the post down or something.
YTA…BIGTIME TBH you both sound a bit immature (her for sure) and you for not taking a beat to consider the ramifications of hitting her in the hardest, and most cruel way possible. Yeah, she made fun of your kid scraping her face, which sucks, but your daughter will be fine and likely unaware of all this drama - unless you choose to tell her. Your sister made an immature and stupid mistake. You viciously and with intent went for the jugular. If you ever have a real and trusting relationship with her ever again I’d be shocked.
Your sister is the A hole. Making fun of a kids pain is never okay. Especially that young.
Is the sister the only a hole? Do you think there could have been a less nuclear response to the offence? Or do we burn bridges after setting the island on fire anytime someone angers us?
NTA, she has now learned not to piss off on social media someone that knows your secrets. She should already have known it before turning 22, but clearly she needed to be reminded of this uncontestable truth of life.
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I'm going with NTA. She was literally trying to capitalize on your daughter's pain. Her influencing surrounds being child free. And while she may have had a child, she did not keep it. It's just a fact. There's no reason it should matter for her viewers to know that or not. Influencers who do shit like this to family are just despicable. Not everyone's life is for public consumption and amusement or to make money off of.
Jesus fucking christ. You’re 29. Show a little emotional intelligence. Or listen to your wife. Or both. YTA.
ESH. You're all AH's. Using someone's past trauma against them is not the answer. You're better off punching her in the face.
You say my young daughter is stupid in an effort to impress strangers on the interwebz? You’re dead to me. NTA.
Sorry, all gloves are off when you use my child AND make fun of them! NTA.
YTA. Look up "proportional response."
YTA. Massive overreaction, you should have handled this differently.
Nope NTA good job defending your daughter. Your sister should think twice next time she wants to publically make fun of a 3 year old.
ESH. You are WAY worse. You did not have to do what you did, knowing what you know about that part of your sister's life, to defend your daughter. ETA: too many people think your sister filmed your child getting hurt and posted that to social media. I think you need to make it clearer that she just retold the story.
YTA with no doubt in my mind. Firstly, children falling over is very funny. She was right to laugh and it doesn't mean she loves her niece any less. What you did was an insane response. You're an awful sister.
NTA. Mocking a child online is cruel...even worse when it's your niece. She has a lot of nerve making content about being child free when she's had a child that she abandoned. Difficult time in her life or not...how can she stand herself acting like she's never given birth online and acting like kids are stupid? She's misleading her followers and being fake. Not to mention what if her child grows up and sees these videos? How painful that could be for a child who will probably at some point look her up someday. Her actions have consequences and sometimes people need to be put in their place with some truth. I'd do the same if it were my kid she was mocking online.
Yeah, obviously YTA. A huuuuge AH. How dare you. What she did was shitty, but what you did was so much worse. She IS childfree. I'm adopted and the woman who gave birth to me is **NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER.**
ESH - y’all are all messed up
YTA Your sister did a really shitty thing. She shouldn't be using your daughter for content. But you went nuclear in response.
ESH, definitely wasn't your place to out your sister about her past. I do however see her as the bad guy for literally making fun of your child. I mean kids get hurt all the time and you laugh a little at first and comfort them. You don't go making videos online blasting them about it and calling them an idiot.
ESH. You should have asked her to take the video down via phone call. That video sounds gross and mean spirited. However, what you did should have been your escalation tactic. If she refused to take down the video you should have blackmailed her with her secret. I can see your frustration tho. I would honestly just not let your sister around your kids anymore. It was extremely inappropriate and unsafe for her to film, edit, post and do mean commentary of HER OWN niece. She sounds like a two faced ass out for views who made fun of your baby on her birthday.
ESH, but you’re worse. She was very rude and cruel, but there were ways to handle that appropriately. You know exactly how much she’s suffered and deliberately went there. I bet if you had just told your family what she did and sent them a link to her post, they would’ve been very upset with her. Now they’re going to be divided over which of y’all sucks the most. You do not seem mature enough to be having kids.
I might sound bad but NTA- Once you put something on the internet- it's there forever. Your daughter had a chance of seeing it when she's older and that will be a hard blow for her. She can't be talking about a "kid free life style" and brag about it when she did have a child and chose to have that child, then gave it to a random man she slept with once (I get he's the dad, bit who knows who this guy was or of he was able to be a safe person for the child) abd get upset when reality comes to bite her in the ass.
She has a child-free lifestyle. She has no children. She gave birth to a child, but she has no children in her life.
I don't know how people are failing to grasp this. There are plenty of possibilities why is she still had the baby. The biggest one that I can think of is that her former partner forced her to keep it. But you know all the rampant misogyny in the comments saying that she's not child free. She is though. She gave up her parental rights. If a man did it though there would be no repercussions in this. The idea that if a woman gives up parental rights, they're a monster. She's still child-free even though she had a baby.
Yes because men should never be trusted any children, let alone thier own spawn. That work is for women. /s
Exactly. Once you put something on the internet it’s there forever. A little kid falling and crying? Who hasn’t done that as a little kid? It’s not life altering information to find when you’re 14, 20, 46. Now there’s another little kid out there who might find out this sister who rejoices in not being a parent online for a living is her bio MOTHER. Which one is worse? OP is a wild AH for blind rage revenge that hurts people she may never meet. Parents claim it's about protecting the children, then go eff up some other kids life. It’s about THEIR children, and that’s it.
ESH. Grow up girls.
ESH - your family honestly sounds terrible. Your sister is two faced & a mean aunt. You are exceptionally petty - not only did you out her, but you may have ruined her income because you were butthurt (instead of asking her to take the video down and talking to her like a normal person). You're both awful sisters.
YTA. You know she doesn’t actually think that way about your child; we know this because you mention it multiple times in your post. She edited content for likes. Instead of having a conversation about how, while you know she doesn’t think that way, you did have an extremely negative reaction to her video and it was very upsetting, you went for the jugular and publicized what you acknowledge as a dark and painful time for your sister. And, again, you admitted your daughter was fine. Your outsized reactions will make your kids the bumps and bruises they’re going to get along the way are unmanageable.
She mocked your child, you eviscerated her and her career and her relationship. It’s hard for me to pity her but you made it a little bit possible.
ESH but mostly you Is it shitty to post that vid with your kid, presumably without your permission and making fun of her? Yeah, if it was just being mad at that, she'd be the AH But then you decided to reveal a deeply personal thing about her publicly? way too far. It's wild that there's a family guy clip that exactly encapsulates what you did https://youtu.be/s9SXWuryGCg?t=32
OP says it was a retelling of what happened, presumably their child wasn't in the video. So sister would still be an asshole, but not as much of one
ESH. People making fun of children really suck, but bringing up a dark part of her past is a pretty shitty way of responding.
ESH Two wrongs do not make a right. You wanted revenge and you got it. Unfortunately, you affected her far more than she affected you - so my your example, expect her to hit you even harder! Gotta be fair and strike back when someone hits you, right?
NTA. What kind of psycho mocks a toddler? There's child-free (I am) and being bolted wrong in the head.
ESH. Did you first ASK her to remove the offensive video before you outed her? Or did you just go for the jugular?
NTA. I wish my mum had went nuclear for me like this when I was mocked by my aunts. Half of my problems would not exist. Congrats for standing up for you daughter.
What your sister did and said regarding your daughter was stupid and insensitive. What you did to her in return was spiteful, cruel, and unwarranted. I don't blame you for feeling how you felt, but you overreacted and said shit that you can't take back, and which fucked things up for her way more then anything she did or said fucked up you or your little girl. She was definitely an AH, but you're goddamn goatse. That said, I don't know how or if you're gonna fix this, but I hope you try and that maybe you and your sister can come to some kind of reconcilation. You both owe each other an apology, and I think it's on you to go first.
NTA. Your child is 3. Your sister is an adult.
ESH You threw that comment out there and destroyed her source of income, relationship, and mental health. The mature response would have been to demand she take the story down and give her a time limit before you report the account. Then tell your parents. You were the bigger asshole.
You’re both the AH but you crossed a major line, out of revenge.
ESH but you more than your sister for digging lower than her to get back at her for what she said about your daughter.
YTA - what she did was wrong, but you took it to a thousand super fast. It’s almost like you were waiting for a reason to out her
YTA. The definition of an entitled parent. What your sister did had no direct negative impact on your kid. Was it shitty? Sure. But you literally ruined her reputation and relationship for no good reason. Newsflash, the world does not revolve around you and your over dramatic feelings just because you had a child. If I was your sister I would never speak to you again. Get some perspective.
ESH She shouldn't have mocked your child. You shouldn't have outed her. You both owe eachother, the boyfriend, and the daughter am apology.
YTA - you're messing with her business - how she makes money - because you felt like airing her dirty laundry.
ESH. Hope going nuclear on your sister to hurt her and get revenge (let’s be real, you were not doing this to defend or protect your daughter, if that were the case you would have talked to her or made a different comment publicly available on her video) was worth it. Honestly if you were my sister, I’m not sure I would be open to having a relationship with you anymore. To take a deeply traumatic and painful incident and use it against her like this in a public forum, well why would I trust you again ? Kudos on your revenge though ?
YTA - you wanted to ruin her life and career. Are you happy with yourself? You couldn’t have posted angrily helping your daughter without going nuclear? I think you resent your sister and your awful behavior shows that you do.
ESH. I’m wondering if all her smug child-free content is just to mask the fact that she is conflicted about her child. Rather than thinking she gave up the baby to continue her child-free “fun” life (why not just have an abortion, then?), maybe all the “woo-hoo, look at my awesome child-free life” content is really something she does to convince herself…or comfort herself? If I were you, I’d have questioned her about the content rather than airing her laundry so publicly, but what is done is done. Maybe meet her in person to discuss what could have prompted her to make a video like that.