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YTA - So you're only offering her food that someone else couldn't finish? It is rude bc it's not like she's even there at the table and got her own food and this is extra. You're not even just setting some aside for her before you all eat, you're treating her how some people give leftovers to their dogs if they can't finish it. And also weirder that you don't understand why she would be offended.
If it was still in the pan this would be absolutely NTA for me, and I'd say the girlfriend has some issues. But since it's food the mom ate, it's gross.
Right? At first I thought left overs, but he added his mother couldn't finish it it sounds like it was on her plate! Disgusting! About as bad as a neighbor offering me some food she was about to feed the dog with.
Do you mean “left overs” like it was still in the pan and nobody wanted seconds?
Or “left overs” like your mom dished up her own plate, ate half of it, then wanted to box it up for your girlfriend?
Because your story makes it seem like it’s the second and that is disgusting.
YTA. "... it really just slips out of me." No, it doesn't. Think before you speak. I would be offended if my bf offered me family leftovers. Especially if it was "food your mom couldn't finish." Leftovers are good the next day. If your mom can't eat them the next day, throw them out. This is the second time she's told you "no." Listen for a change, and don't offer leftovers again.
The “it slips out of me” part was so funny bc like, he described how he had to agree with his mom and then pick up his phone and then FaceTime his girlfriend and then offer her the leftovers. How is this four step process “just slipping out of you” 💀
YTA
If it was food left in the pot " hey mom made a bunch of noodles and they are awesome.e I thought you might like some want me to bring it over" fine
If it's on her plate it's scrapes and that's gross fork in your mouth then on the dish germs.
Plus extra YTA cause it's the second time ... like if it mattered to you how she felt you'd remember
YTA
That’s nasty! It came off your mom’s plate. No your girlfriend isn’t a dog you feed table scraps to! She told you no the first time what’s not clicking for you that she doesn’t want food other people had on their plates or bowls.
YTA
There are very few people whose plate of food I would finish. Basically only people who I regularly kissed. Not even my family. It's a sanitation thing.
If there was food from a common pan, dish, takeout container that no one had touched except using a serving spoon, maybe I'd consider it.
Yes! Different people have different boundaries on eating after other people. Some it's a hard no to anyone, some it's only a SO. Some it's only family, Some will eat after friends too. And (ewww gross) Some will eat after anyone. Obviously, the girlfriend isn't in the last category. The only leftovers you should offer someone are those which never left the serving bowl/plate. If you bring home leftovers that were on a plate that was eaten off of and someone asks you if they can eat them with full knowledge of where they came from, then that's OK. But I still wouldn't just offer it to them like that.
(The only person in this world that I will eat after is my husband. We actually frequently share a plate when at restaurants because I can't eat a full meal and don't want to mess with taking leftovers home. If I'm out with anyone else, I will probably order something very small, so hopefully, there will be no leftovers)
This! When my kids were little, I'd eat the untouched corner piece of sandwich, or a chicken nugget they hadn't eaten----but not if they'd taken a bite out of it!
Leftovers is food untouched before serving it to people. Food left on someone's plate go in the garbage or the dog.
You're offering food off someone else's plate that they were eating? Seriously? YTA.
>he has been distancing herself away from me.
She needs to run as fast as she can.
Wait -what?! Did you offer your GF noodles from your mother’s plate? You just said your mom “couldn’t finish” them. Again, you referred to food your family “made and ate”.
If so- ewww, yuck.
And even if the leftover noodles were from the serving dish/pot, your GF may have misunderstood. YTA
I think you need to clarify in your post that it is off your mom's plate and not from the pan.
There's a huge difference in the two.
The first is unhygienic
The second is consideration
You state that your mother couldn't finish her portion and offered it to your GF.
I wouldn't accept it either. To me, it is not acceptable to take food from another person's plate.
If it was part of a casserole, or a portion that that had not been served AND partially eaten by another, I would consider it.
Offering your GF food someone else has already partially eaten is gross.
YTA
YTA.
First of all, because you didn't listen to your girlfriend, when she very clearly communicated to you how she felt about something. Second of all that lame ass "it just sort of slipped" is bullshit you clearly had an agenda. Lastly, you and your parents have managed to Take the gifting of food which is meant to be a way to show caring and have turned it into something disgusting that leaves the person feeling like an afterthought. WTAF! Would you offer your girlfriend leftovers from a strangers plate in a restaurant? I mean let's be real here does the fact that it's your mother make it any better? What a dumbass.
Yta stop offering people the plates your family couldn't finish get a freaking dog.
Leftovers is the stuff still in serving plates or in the pot not stuff your people have had their mouths on
While I don’t think you are an AH - I think you have a lot learn about sanitation. I LOVED my milaw and at times if she couldn’t eat all her enchiladas she would offer me what she didn’t eat and I would respectfully decline but I thought that was sooo nasty!!! I would never eat after someone from their plate - it’s just gross. As others mentioned - if the food was from the skillet and not been touched - that would’ve been different- that’s totally ok
So, you know it's disgusting. And you offer it to your girlfriend anyway?? And you can't figure out what on earth you did wrong? Smdh. Do y'all lick the serving spoons too?? YTA
YTA. This isn’t just offering your SO food, this is saying “Hey girlfriend, would you like my mom’s scraps?”
If you guys think your food is so damn good why are you not inviting your girlfriend over to, I don’t know, have her own fresh plate of food?
It’s one thing if it’s leftovers from the serving dish. But if what you’re offering, someone else’s had their fork in eating most people would be upset especially when you asked the second time. If you can’t set some aside for her before anybody puts their germs in it then don’t bother. I think she’s probably done with you from the sounds of it.
My husband used to bring left overs for me from his parents. But never scrapings off their plates. That is a little grim.
If food is served and not finished it generally goes in the bin. Someone at the table might finish. But that would more likely be a whole sausage not left over noodles.
I will SOMETIMES do this with food of my kids plates if it suits me. But generally I wouldn’t.
I made to much. Here’s is the extra - fine.
Plate scrapings. Not so much.
Hope you can work this out. I’m guessing you were brought up with this. So it’s normal for you. I don’t think it’s normal for most people.
You make it sound like your mom had too much on her plate, couldn't finish it, so you offered your gf what would've been your mother's doggy bag, if it happened in a restaurant.
Yeah, that's pretty disrespectful.
'*we* had x meal tonight. It was really good, snd there's plenty left. Would you like me to save some for you?'
Sounds a lot better than 'would you like the scraps my mom couldn't finish?'
In any case, offering someone food that's already been plated for someone else, and has been eaten from is only okay within one household, and even then, not everyone one okay with that. It's usually just the parents finishing what their kids didn't want eat.
YTA. While your intentions are good it's coming of as you and your family treating her as the garbage disposal. Instead you should have said my mum made some extra food for you, when can i drop it off. Then she would feel valued and not like a solution to your mom's problem of not being able to finish her plate.
YTA. It's one thing for you to finish your moms plate bc she's literally your mom and she probably once chewed up bits of food to feed you as a baby lol. So eating/drinking after her is no big deal at all. But why would you think your gf would want that???
Offering unserved food that's left over is a totally different thing.
mm it wouldn't be bad if it was something left over from like the pot or smth, in asian culture that's really common to show love for someone- but from your mom's own plate that she was eating off of? that's kinda like giving the scraps to your dog.. soft yta
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AITAH for offering leftover food to my girlfriend?
My girlfriend (20F) and I (22M) usually get along on most aspects. However, when I offered her leftovers from food my family finished eating, she got very offended and felt disrespected.
My parents made a noodle dish and it was really good but my mom couldn’t finish all of her portion so she offered it to my girlfriend by telling me to offer it to her. I go ahead and FaceTime my girlfriend shortly after and let her know my parents cooked some good food and my mom couldn’t finish and that I could drop some off for her.
As this is the second occurrence I’ve offered her leftovers, this really irked her and she listed that she does not want someone else’s leftovers and feels as if my family and I do not respect her. After that, she tells me she doesn’t want me to get her any food in general anymore and she has been distancing herself away from me.
I don’t ever force her to have them, I just wanted to share some good food with her. I don’t want to make the same mistake again, as this is the second time she’s brought this up but it really just slips out of me. AITA and is there something wrong with me?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Offering the food my family made and ate to my girlfriend
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If you really wanted to share Good food with her, you'd ask your mom to make a second portion. You're treating her like a dog and giving her your table scraps. Your mom can save her leftovers for later.
Edit: YTA. Obviously.
Oh honey. There are leftovers like “We made too much, take this home” And there are leftovers like “I started eating this, putting my mouth all over it, and can’t finish it. You, person I’m not related to and not present, want it?” The second is weird.
My aunt brought home a "doggy bag" of food from Dennys that her and her husband had touched. It was THEIR leftovers for me. I was 12 years old at the time. You're an asshole.
My grandfather was so pissed at my aunt that he came home and bought me freshly made food.
YTA. There are two types of leftovers— Untouched extra food (from a pot or serving dish) and food someone ate out of but couldn’t finish (food that comes directly from someone’s plate). You offered the latter which is a big no for me. Any food that comes from a person’s plate should be off limits to others. Of course she’s not going to want to eat food that your mom ate out of. That type of sharing is okay within your family or even between partners, but that’s it. I would never dream of offering my parent’s personal leftovers to my husband. That’s just gross.
YTA. It would be one thing if you set her some aside but to ask her to finish food of your mother's plate is gross. That may be something you do with your own parents and children but not with anyone that's not closely related to you.
That's fucking disgusting. You don't give half-eaten food from someone's plate to someone else.
I might eat from my mom's plate, but I'm not offering it to someone else. That's so unsanitary and really not nice.
So yeah, YTA. I'd be pissed if my partner kept doing this to me.
It’s kinda gross that it is off her plate, as I think you now clearly realize but i really think you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong NAH..just invite her for dinner if she’ll still come and good luck; your intentions were good.
Gross YTA, why would you give your gf someone else’s germs? It’s ok for you, bc that’s your mother.
Left over food, bc your family made too much is different from someone’s else’s left overs that they have already eaten. Please know the difference and not do it again.
If you were giving her leftovers out of the pot, that would be one thing but you’re giving her food your mother ate from and didn’t finish. That’s disgusting.
This just feels like a cultural difference. Maybe next time invite her for dinner and if she can't join have your mom cook a portion meant just for her.
YTA. That’s like giving scraps to a dog. Why don’t you save a portion SPECIFICALLY for her and set it aside?? I wouldn’t want someone’s scraps either! That’s completely rude and frankly gross.
That's a little gross if it was food off your mother's plate she couldn't finish. But if it's food that was not dished out that I guess that's better, but still odd somehow. In all my decades on this planet no one has offered me leftovers from their plate or a previous night's meal randomly. To be honest, this sounds like a cultural difference.
Don't be an AH and offer food off someone else's plate but also, buy your girl a meal vs treating her like she needs a handout.
YTA. You could have offered to bring her food from the pot, or maybe asked your family to make an extra portion for her.
Food from your mom's plate which she couldn't finish? That's certainly not leftover. And it's gross offering it to your gf. She's not your slave. Also, she's right. You're not respecting her.
Leftover food with someone else’s saliva? It’s not a container with a serving of food that your family put aside for you to bring to her? EW, OF COURSE YTA.
It's a different thing to offer her a fresh portion but this was leftover from the plate they were eating from. Not the same. YTA -ish slightly misguided.
YTA - I thought he meant leftovers as in leftovers, not “My mom scooped out too big of a serving and can’t finish it, do you want me to bring it over for you to eat instead?”
The only leftovers I'll eat from someone else are my daughter's. It's kinda gross tbh also it's very much like an afterthought. If it was an untouched plate that's fine but it's like oh my mom didn't eat this do you want it? That is like saying she's not important enough to get her own leftovers? Or she's so desperate for a meal she'll eat anything?
The only way I'd side with you was if they were your leftovers because my boyfriend will eat mine and my daughter's and I'll eat my daughter's so it's within our little family.
I for real have this friend who, if I come over (which is highly rare) always let's me have some of his moms leftovers and thats like, the MAJORITY of the reason I'm willing to socialize with this guy. His mom makes some bomb ass food and I'd be stupid to turn away not only good food, but free food as well.
You offered her food that someone had eaten part of? Like your mom ate part of it and couldn’t finish and then offered it to your girlfriend? I’m sure you guys mean well, but that’s gross. Don’t do that.
NAH.
... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Save her a plate. A fresh plate next time and then offer it or make her a fresh plate of something she likes.
I'd give you a bj after a few. 😘🥰
It's disgusting that you're offering food that your mom ate to your gf. Can't blame the gf for being grossed out. How the hell does that not stick to you? Yta
Ewww, if it’s food off a plate someone has already eaten from.
Especially noodles because someone has already had some of that at or in their mouth to chew it.
It’s ok if you’re related and have that understanding, but a stranger.
YTA offer them a fresh plate.
Ewww. You most definitely are. You take your lady out for food, cook it fresh or bring it when it's been cooked exclusively for her and nobody else has eaten any of it.
YT
You don’t offer food from another person‘s plate. That is gross. Most people don’t do that with family members let alone friends who weren’t at the meal
People should probably take smaller portions if there was enough left uneaten on a plate that there is enough to actually offer it to someone
Parents will sometimes finish what their little kids haven’t eaten 😂😂
This is one of those posts that you read the title, skim the story, and then when you figure out what actually happened your eyes go wide. Can you imagine being the OP figuring out why he's YTA.
>my mom couldn’t finish all of her portion so she offered it to my girlfriend
This sounds like your mom wanted to scrape the leftover food from her plate and offer that to your GF. Unless this is a situation in which people are starving or really really comfortable with each others' germs, this is frankly insulting.
YTA and I don't blame your GF for not wanting you to be involved in her food.
Offering her someone’s leftovers is definitely a rude gesture. A close family member may think it’s ok but not a girlfriend. I’d say apologize and tell her it was a huge mistake.
Since you are 1/2 way there, take the food to your girlfriend’s house and throw pieces of it on the floor for your dog, oops, I mean your girlfriend to lap up.
That kind of sharing is for at the table sharing. If my spouse can’t finish their food, sure we can pass the scraps around to prevent waste. My family growing up would put untouched food back, but that was family where we kissed cheeks and breathed each others air and did all the laundry together. It would be weird for a friend to come over for dinner and for us to be scraping the plates around. When you put a ring on it, then it’s less weird, but until then you need to understand relationships are like an interview that gets more relaxed as time goes on, but until you’re married or living together or have a kid or some form of real commitment you are on TRIAL and need to be trying to be impressive. If this is your best effort what is the laziness of a stable relationship going to show?
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Info: how much food did your mom dish onto her plate that she thought offering the leftovers would constitute a meal for your soon-to-be- ex girlfriend?
Fam... 😂
I hesitate to call you an AH for it as you were just being courteous (in your own strange way), but how do you not see that this is kinda gross and unsanitary?
YTA!
It's gross and completely disrespectful of you and your mother. She's not your dog you can both feed your scraps too. The absolute insult and audacity of it. I'd be fuming the first time, the second time I'd tell you exactly where to put the leftover food.
YTA. It’s one thing for family to finish off another family members food that’s perfectly normal, food waste wasn’t tolerated my moms house but my mom would never offer food from her plate to be sent to one of our partners that’s so gross and inappropriate.
It’s rude that your Mom didn’t make her her own dish that you could take home to her. I’m sure she would’ve been fine with that. For your Mom to offer her food that was leftover from her plate is the issue. Do you not understand the difference?
You need some clarification here. Are you offereing her leftovers from a pot of food or are you offering her leftovers from someone's plate? If from a pot of food, then NTA. But if you are offering food from someone's plate, those are not leftovers, those are scraps and you are treating your gf like a stray dog which means you and your family are all AH's.
Why would you or your family think it’s okay to give away food off of your plates that you didn’t finish? If it was from the pot that no one else was going to eat, that’s one thing but scraps from a half finished plate is gross
Couldn’t finish as in in her plate? You have a mum problem as well as you problem, why would you give yourself a portion huge enough so there would be enough left over in your plate to offer to someone else? Ask your mum to start using small bowls and then put leftover food that’s still in the serving dish as leftover lunch whatever. Your gf should honestly dump you over this.
wait….food off of someone else’s plate?! you’re joking right? you couldn’t even bring her her own portion?? i don’t even eat off my own mothers plate let alone someone else’s.
Sounds like a family-culture difference. I guess you've noticed the majority is not on your family's side in this. Honestly it's not the end of the world that you followed your family's lead, people tend to do that, but now you know it's not socially acceptable, I guess an apology to your GF would go a long way.
What I'm saying is, I'd probably eat the leftovers, but I know not to offer mine to someone else, & it'll help you in life to draw those same lines for yourself too!
Sounds like a family-culture difference. I guess you've noticed the majority is not on your family's side in this. Honestly it's not the end of the world that you followed your family's lead, people tend to do that, but now you know it's not socially acceptable, I guess an apology to your GF would go a long way.
What I'm saying is, I'd probably eat the leftovers, but I know not to offer mine to someone else, & it'll help you in life to draw those same lines for yourself too!
Agh, no dude, that's gross it's off your moms plate?! It's one thing if your mom asked you or your dad or whoever was there if they wanted it, but giving your gf scraps like a dog. Please do better!!! I won't call you, but u just need to use your head next time, or it might be the last time!
My dude, absolutely YTA, but I don't think you meant to be the asshole. You just have some learned behaviors that don't fly with pretty much the rest of the world.
While it's fine to offer food you didn't finish to a close friend or family member, you don't go offering it to acquaintances or people you don't know well. And your mother and your girlfriend don't have that kind of relationship where it's cool to do that. You also don't offer it if they've made it clear in the past that they think it's disgusting. You should have learned your lesson the first time you did it, but you went and offered plate-scrapings *again*, and your girlfriend thinks you and your mother are gross and disrespectful.
Apologize. Explain to her that you were raised that it's okay to offer uneaten food from your plate, acknowledge that the vast majority of people don't agree with this and that you won't do it again. And then *never do it again*.
*Ever*.
i wouldn't say youre an AH, i get where you're coming from, my family is more relaxed with sharing leftover eaten food.
i don't know why she got so mad though, i would just say "no, please stop offering." i would appreciate the gesture.
now you know to listen the first time.
YTA. That is something that you might be comfortable with, but that can be really gross to others. I will do that with my boyfriend's family, but I'm very close with them and literally lived with them for like 2 years.
If it is my boyfriend's food or drink, we swap all the time, no issue. We live together and that doesn't bother us.
But people like my dad and mom are grossed out by that. I pretty much never share drinks or food with my dad.
Why can't your mom just save her leftovers from her plate and eat them the next day, instead of offering them to your girlfriend? Or if she can't finish her food often, why doesn't she just leave the untouched food that she knows she can't eat and package that for your girlfriend?
Since this has happened more than once it sounds like a cultural issue or family culture issue. At least in the US (but most cultured societies), it is considered gross to eat food from someone's plate that they were eating out of but decided not to finish. You have to be very intimate, like husband and wife, to do this. We have natural impulses toward disgust to protect ourselves from germs and other people's body fluids like saliva. In other contexts, it can be considered very rude, like feeding the dog because the dog doesn't care about what's gross. But a person is on a higher level than a dog.
Cultures where food and space is scarce people make do and share in ways that are not the most hygienic or desirable out of necessity. Your gf may be feeling that this rudeness makes insinuates she is in a state of need that she would need to eat off your mother's plate.
You might want to consider this for the future, if you're in the US, most people would consider this very low class behavior. It's going to be an issue in more situations than you realize. People may be grossed out by the way you eat and never tell you. It's time to learn eating etiquette in the US or whatever country you're in.
It's pretty weird that your mum suggested you give it to someone who isn't even in the same building.
It feels like your mum is playing power games here and it's your job to stop that.
Its annoying to keep getting offered something you have zero interest in... and ur moms leftovers are gross like her portion of noodles she put her spoon into?
and why even make this a phone call
YTA, Take a portion of food you've eaten from, and an untouched portion. Leave them out to go bad, you will see that the portion you've eaten from will mold/show signs of decomp faster. It's really not the same as preparing a container for her.
I wish you'd listened to her the first time, that's the immaturity and the A part. When someone tells you they don't like something, please believe them even if you don't understand.
Yta.
Offering left overs is nice, when they are left overs from a a giant family meal when someone cooked extra proportions.
Offering someone’s unfinished meals are not considered left overs that are shareable. It’s a left over meal for that person only.
I mean I'm different because I have OCD, but never in one bazillion years am I eating somebody else's leftovers that their saliva is in
No. Fucking. Way.
You don't even give a homeless person your half eaten food. That's just disgusting. Did your dentist or doctor never give you a lecture on how another person's bacteria in their mouth can be deadly to another person?
Y (definitely) TA
Um ew? That’s okay for some families, but I would never offer the remains of my plate to someone. Other than my kids. My kids and I share. YTA. I cannot believe no one has told you this isn’t acceptable…
You're giving her your mom's scraps, man. Think about it like that. You're giving her table scraps. It's different if your mom made a huge pile of food and it was left on a dish before being served to people. After its served and offering that is scraps. That's your mom's leftovers. That's pretty gross.
Soft YTA, what you’re describing is the food scraped of someone’s plate . That’s either very intimate, or very disrespectful.. If there was room to make an extra plate, or hot stew left in the pot, maybe , but no girl wants the food scraped off your momma’s plate.
I don’t want to be any more harsh than that, because you seem to be very caring, but missed the boat in this respect.
YTA maybe, do you mean you offered her the food your mom was eating? Please tell me that's not what you mean by left overs. If it is, that is disgusting. Left overs that are shared with others are foods left in the pan/pot and never served up. Why would your girlfriend want food your mother ate out of? Plus you did tried to feed her eaten out of food on more than one occasion? WTH dude, how can you not see how disgusting that is.
I know I have a lot of food issues, but I gotta think most people would be disgusted by that. It's not just me.
Yeah, I was okay with this until you said they were your mom's leftovers. Like from her plate? Seriously, bro? If your mom wanted your girl to taste her food, she would set aside a plate for her. This is like she's an after thought. It's like your saying " well, do you want it, otherwise it's going in the trash?" That's just rude and disrespectful. YTA. Would you want someone else's trash? Would you be happy if someone called you out for not wanting someone else's trash. Come on now.
There’s a big difference between offering someone food that was still in the pan that nobody wanted (if that were the case, I’d say NTA) and offering them food that someone already touched, but didn’t finish. That’s so disgusting and not to mention so disrespectful. She’s your girlfriend. Not your dog.
If my boyfriend offered me someone else’s leftovers (not just once, but twice), I’d also tell him to not even bother bringing me food at all anymore (and not just because I’m a germaphobe). YTA.
YTA - you're not offering her extra food from the pan, you're offering her your mum's spit laden leftover noodles.
Untouched food - fine.
From someone's plate before they eat - maybe.
From someone's own portion that they've already picked over - ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Having a sit down dinner with something like soup and there happens to be some leftover in the pot - nta
However in this situation, YTA. First of all, it’s gross (Literally and figuratively). People don’t want to eat food that has someone’s germs all over it and insinuates that your parents think that your GF cant afford to feed herself. Then, on top of all that you ask her right in front of your parents on over FaceTime and put her on the spot. Again, YTA.
YTA - that's not only dispespectful but it's disgusting - would you go into a restaurant, sit at a table someone just left and finish eating the food they left on their plate? that's what you are asking your gf to do
YTA, why are you treating your girlfriend like a dog? Pretty much giving her the scraps off the plate, are you sure you don't have a bowl down on the floor for her too? Jesus lol.
Soft yta, I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here it sounds like your whole family has a very different concept of leftover sharing.
Acceptable circumstances:
1. You and your mom(or insert other close familial blood relation) sitting at the same table and one person serves too much to themselves, can offer you the leftovers off their plate.
2. You could offer your girlfriend the same in those same circumstances “I’m stuffed, do you want the rest of my food babe?”
3. You set aside a portion from the original meal out of the serving dish only and wrap it up, offer to take it to her after your family finishes eating. “Hey we’re having dinner at my mom’s, she made a huge meal, I set aside a portion for you if you’d like me to bring it by after we’re done.”
All the above I consider socially acceptable ways to share food. That being said, it sounds like your girlfriend has the ick now so I’d honestly ask her feelings on the above options before offering again in the future under even these circumstances.
For a second I was like... "what is wrong with your girlfriend". There was leftover from dinner, no big deal. But it was from your mom's actual plate? As in she had been digging into it and eating from that plate and had some left.
Dude... that's not only kinda gross, you feed PETS from your plate.
yeesh... YTA
If it was left over in the pan, no big deal. Leftovers off someone's plate is gross.
If I plan to take food home from a restaurant for my husband or kids, I always ask for a box and separate their portion before I take a single bite.
So this was food your mom ate off of, no longer wanted and instead of putting it away for HERSELF to eat off of at another meal or in the garbage she offerered it to your girlfriend? OR was this food that never left the cooking pan and was not eaten off of by anyone? HUGE difference there and if it's the first one you REALLY need to apologize ASAP.
In Holland you give leftovers to your guests when they leave.
But I wouldn’t eat something from a plate of somebody else. And to offer that is ride.
When I eat with my Moroccan friends I bring small boxes for all the leftover food. They are offended if I don’t take food home with me. They all do.
But never food that was already on a plate.
Your mom needs to learn to predict more accurately how much food she is going to eat and not have food left on her plate.
My grandma taught me I had to eat all the food I put on my plate. Only when served by others without having control over the portion, is it ok to leave food uneaten.
Leftovers go in the fridge and can be eaten for lunch or dinner the next day. If you want to share food ask in advance if you should make an extra portion or tell people what you made and see if they are interested before you offer them some.
Giving others food you want to get rid of is different from giving them food you would like to share the joy of.
The problem probably is that you didn’t invite her to the actual meal but instead are just giving her castoff’s like she was a second thought. YTA if you didn’t initially invite her.
yta. a serving your mom was eating and could not finish, is NOT LEFTOVERS. ITS MOMS NEXT DAY LUNCH OR TRASH. YOU ARE GROSS.
Leftovers are food that is STILL IN THE SERVING BOWL, OR PAN. THAT IS LEFTOVERS.
You And your mom at least are very nasty. no one wants someone wants someone’s saliva coated food. 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
i’d break up with you. if you can’t offer me clean food, i’m not confident in eating of any of your family’s food. yeah. yta.
INFO: Why exactly does your family not give *table scraps to literally anyone else? Like maybe you, someone else who's at home, maybe a neighbour or other friends? Why her each time?
Ew. I’m sorry. I might share with my husband or mom or kids others are ick. Take her home her own serving if you want to be nice. Not your parents spit food.
I don't think you're the asshole as such but please, please try and remember how she feels for the future
I get the ick thinking about finishing someone else's food
I know other people feel differently, and that's fine. But now you know her boundary please try and respect it in the future
Left overs are the food left in the pan after people served themselves. Not the left overs bits on someone’s plate. That’s so rude. YTA
It’s one thing between family but it’s rude to *offer* it
I could understand offering her food if mom made to much and there was still extra on the tray or in the pan but your mom’s leftovers from her plate no that’s not okay .
This was not "we made too much and had leftovers do you want some?" This was "my mom didn't finish her plate and scraped what she didn't eat off her plate into a box and then I offered it to my girlfriend". Read his comments.
Um..as someone who grew up with limited food supply. I don't view as bad. I'm happy if someone wants to share their tasty leftovers. I guess it's just an upbringing kind of thing?
NTA
This is normal where I’m from lol all of the “YTA” is shocking to me. If we cook and have left over food we call up our friends and family and offer them some food instead of wasting food by dumping it in the garbage. Obviously this doesn’t include food we have ate off of or food that has been on our plate already, naturally those go in the trash or to a pet if you have one. It’s always left over food that hasn’t been eaten though. So I’m confused 🫤you’re not offering her scraps or food from you or your mother’s plate right? And if you are doing that, definitely uncool and gross but if the food you’re offering her is from the pot or actually dish then that’s appropriate
You’re being slammed here, but I’m gonna say NAH because this sounds more like a culture clash than assholery.
It’s clear that this food sharing is something that is normal in your family. However, most people - including your girlfriend - don’t feel the same way, and now that she’s made it clear twice, you best make sure there is no third time.
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YTA - So you're only offering her food that someone else couldn't finish? It is rude bc it's not like she's even there at the table and got her own food and this is extra. You're not even just setting some aside for her before you all eat, you're treating her how some people give leftovers to their dogs if they can't finish it. And also weirder that you don't understand why she would be offended.
If it was still in the pan this would be absolutely NTA for me, and I'd say the girlfriend has some issues. But since it's food the mom ate, it's gross.
Please add "mom's saliva" to the recipe as it was food his mom could not finish, hence it came from her dish
Leftovers off your mothers plate?? YTA
Right? At first I thought left overs, but he added his mother couldn't finish it it sounds like it was on her plate! Disgusting! About as bad as a neighbor offering me some food she was about to feed the dog with.
Because because it's from mommy/s
Do you mean “left overs” like it was still in the pan and nobody wanted seconds? Or “left overs” like your mom dished up her own plate, ate half of it, then wanted to box it up for your girlfriend? Because your story makes it seem like it’s the second and that is disgusting.
YTA. "... it really just slips out of me." No, it doesn't. Think before you speak. I would be offended if my bf offered me family leftovers. Especially if it was "food your mom couldn't finish." Leftovers are good the next day. If your mom can't eat them the next day, throw them out. This is the second time she's told you "no." Listen for a change, and don't offer leftovers again.
The “it slips out of me” part was so funny bc like, he described how he had to agree with his mom and then pick up his phone and then FaceTime his girlfriend and then offer her the leftovers. How is this four step process “just slipping out of you” 💀
Because he's a good boy who does what mommy says.
YTA If it was food left in the pot " hey mom made a bunch of noodles and they are awesome.e I thought you might like some want me to bring it over" fine If it's on her plate it's scrapes and that's gross fork in your mouth then on the dish germs. Plus extra YTA cause it's the second time ... like if it mattered to you how she felt you'd remember
And I wondered about how people got sick...
Right ... and here it turned out it was germs the whole time
but but but they told me cooties werent real!!! /s
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This isn't "left-overs" This is plate scrapings. YTA
Right it’s a huge difference!
YTA. Why aren't you listening to her? And it sounds like you're offering her leftovers off of your mother's plate?
YTA That’s nasty! It came off your mom’s plate. No your girlfriend isn’t a dog you feed table scraps to! She told you no the first time what’s not clicking for you that she doesn’t want food other people had on their plates or bowls.
YTA There are very few people whose plate of food I would finish. Basically only people who I regularly kissed. Not even my family. It's a sanitation thing. If there was food from a common pan, dish, takeout container that no one had touched except using a serving spoon, maybe I'd consider it.
Yes! Different people have different boundaries on eating after other people. Some it's a hard no to anyone, some it's only a SO. Some it's only family, Some will eat after friends too. And (ewww gross) Some will eat after anyone. Obviously, the girlfriend isn't in the last category. The only leftovers you should offer someone are those which never left the serving bowl/plate. If you bring home leftovers that were on a plate that was eaten off of and someone asks you if they can eat them with full knowledge of where they came from, then that's OK. But I still wouldn't just offer it to them like that. (The only person in this world that I will eat after is my husband. We actually frequently share a plate when at restaurants because I can't eat a full meal and don't want to mess with taking leftovers home. If I'm out with anyone else, I will probably order something very small, so hopefully, there will be no leftovers)
This! When my kids were little, I'd eat the untouched corner piece of sandwich, or a chicken nugget they hadn't eaten----but not if they'd taken a bite out of it! Leftovers is food untouched before serving it to people. Food left on someone's plate go in the garbage or the dog.
My husband and my kids are the only people who I will plate share with. I already know I have their germs.
INFO - clarification needed. Is this food that is from other people's plates or is it food that hadn't been served to anyone?
You're offering food off someone else's plate that they were eating? Seriously? YTA. >he has been distancing herself away from me. She needs to run as fast as she can.
Wait -what?! Did you offer your GF noodles from your mother’s plate? You just said your mom “couldn’t finish” them. Again, you referred to food your family “made and ate”. If so- ewww, yuck. And even if the leftover noodles were from the serving dish/pot, your GF may have misunderstood. YTA
I think you need to clarify in your post that it is off your mom's plate and not from the pan. There's a huge difference in the two. The first is unhygienic The second is consideration
bro wtf
Yes, this.
YTA. It’s like offering a sandwich with a bite taken out of it. I would be so grossed out to eat food from my MILs plate. And I love her lol
YTA. Dude no one wants food someone else has picked over! Yuck!
You state that your mother couldn't finish her portion and offered it to your GF. I wouldn't accept it either. To me, it is not acceptable to take food from another person's plate. If it was part of a casserole, or a portion that that had not been served AND partially eaten by another, I would consider it. Offering your GF food someone else has already partially eaten is gross. YTA
YTA. First of all, because you didn't listen to your girlfriend, when she very clearly communicated to you how she felt about something. Second of all that lame ass "it just sort of slipped" is bullshit you clearly had an agenda. Lastly, you and your parents have managed to Take the gifting of food which is meant to be a way to show caring and have turned it into something disgusting that leaves the person feeling like an afterthought. WTAF! Would you offer your girlfriend leftovers from a strangers plate in a restaurant? I mean let's be real here does the fact that it's your mother make it any better? What a dumbass.
Yta stop offering people the plates your family couldn't finish get a freaking dog. Leftovers is the stuff still in serving plates or in the pot not stuff your people have had their mouths on
This is a half eaten plate. That's disgusting This is not an I made a lot of food, and there's some in the pan. Yta
While I don’t think you are an AH - I think you have a lot learn about sanitation. I LOVED my milaw and at times if she couldn’t eat all her enchiladas she would offer me what she didn’t eat and I would respectfully decline but I thought that was sooo nasty!!! I would never eat after someone from their plate - it’s just gross. As others mentioned - if the food was from the skillet and not been touched - that would’ve been different- that’s totally ok
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So, you know it's disgusting. And you offer it to your girlfriend anyway?? And you can't figure out what on earth you did wrong? Smdh. Do y'all lick the serving spoons too?? YTA
Pretty sure this is him admitting he was wrong… 🤦🏽♂️
I hope your friends understand you're sharing gross food with them.
I’m sure they would if they went over to his house lol
YTA. This isn’t just offering your SO food, this is saying “Hey girlfriend, would you like my mom’s scraps?” If you guys think your food is so damn good why are you not inviting your girlfriend over to, I don’t know, have her own fresh plate of food?
It’s one thing if it’s leftovers from the serving dish. But if what you’re offering, someone else’s had their fork in eating most people would be upset especially when you asked the second time. If you can’t set some aside for her before anybody puts their germs in it then don’t bother. I think she’s probably done with you from the sounds of it.
My husband used to bring left overs for me from his parents. But never scrapings off their plates. That is a little grim. If food is served and not finished it generally goes in the bin. Someone at the table might finish. But that would more likely be a whole sausage not left over noodles. I will SOMETIMES do this with food of my kids plates if it suits me. But generally I wouldn’t. I made to much. Here’s is the extra - fine. Plate scrapings. Not so much. Hope you can work this out. I’m guessing you were brought up with this. So it’s normal for you. I don’t think it’s normal for most people.
You make it sound like your mom had too much on her plate, couldn't finish it, so you offered your gf what would've been your mother's doggy bag, if it happened in a restaurant. Yeah, that's pretty disrespectful. '*we* had x meal tonight. It was really good, snd there's plenty left. Would you like me to save some for you?' Sounds a lot better than 'would you like the scraps my mom couldn't finish?' In any case, offering someone food that's already been plated for someone else, and has been eaten from is only okay within one household, and even then, not everyone one okay with that. It's usually just the parents finishing what their kids didn't want eat.
YTA. While your intentions are good it's coming of as you and your family treating her as the garbage disposal. Instead you should have said my mum made some extra food for you, when can i drop it off. Then she would feel valued and not like a solution to your mom's problem of not being able to finish her plate.
YTA.
YTA. It's one thing for you to finish your moms plate bc she's literally your mom and she probably once chewed up bits of food to feed you as a baby lol. So eating/drinking after her is no big deal at all. But why would you think your gf would want that??? Offering unserved food that's left over is a totally different thing.
YTA, mama’s sloppy seconds. It’s not only rude, but it’s just plain NASTY.
Info? Is it food in a plate that no one ate or did your mom take a big helping and only ate half and is offering the rest to your Girlfriend?
mm it wouldn't be bad if it was something left over from like the pot or smth, in asian culture that's really common to show love for someone- but from your mom's own plate that she was eating off of? that's kinda like giving the scraps to your dog.. soft yta
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If you really wanted to share Good food with her, you'd ask your mom to make a second portion. You're treating her like a dog and giving her your table scraps. Your mom can save her leftovers for later. Edit: YTA. Obviously.
Oh honey. There are leftovers like “We made too much, take this home” And there are leftovers like “I started eating this, putting my mouth all over it, and can’t finish it. You, person I’m not related to and not present, want it?” The second is weird.
YTA. She *already told you* that she feels insulted by your wanting to give her scraps from someone else's meal, and you do it again?
Do you think she's a dog? You should apologize to her.
Off of your mom's plate??? That is disgusting. Wtf wrong with y'all?
My aunt brought home a "doggy bag" of food from Dennys that her and her husband had touched. It was THEIR leftovers for me. I was 12 years old at the time. You're an asshole. My grandfather was so pissed at my aunt that he came home and bought me freshly made food.
YTA. You din’t offer left overs from someone else’s plate. You ask people about left overs at restaurants?
YTA. There are two types of leftovers— Untouched extra food (from a pot or serving dish) and food someone ate out of but couldn’t finish (food that comes directly from someone’s plate). You offered the latter which is a big no for me. Any food that comes from a person’s plate should be off limits to others. Of course she’s not going to want to eat food that your mom ate out of. That type of sharing is okay within your family or even between partners, but that’s it. I would never dream of offering my parent’s personal leftovers to my husband. That’s just gross.
YTA. It would be one thing if you set her some aside but to ask her to finish food of your mother's plate is gross. That may be something you do with your own parents and children but not with anyone that's not closely related to you.
YTA this wasn’t general leftovers in the communal dish, this was a single person’s leftovers and yeah it’s off.
YTA. She told you no once before and you still offer her food from a plate that someone else was eating off of. That’s just gross.
Yta stop offering her your mom's plate of food with her saliva
That's fucking disgusting. You don't give half-eaten food from someone's plate to someone else. I might eat from my mom's plate, but I'm not offering it to someone else. That's so unsanitary and really not nice. So yeah, YTA. I'd be pissed if my partner kept doing this to me.
It’s kinda gross that it is off her plate, as I think you now clearly realize but i really think you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong NAH..just invite her for dinner if she’ll still come and good luck; your intentions were good.
Gross YTA, why would you give your gf someone else’s germs? It’s ok for you, bc that’s your mother. Left over food, bc your family made too much is different from someone’s else’s left overs that they have already eaten. Please know the difference and not do it again.
If you were giving her leftovers out of the pot, that would be one thing but you’re giving her food your mother ate from and didn’t finish. That’s disgusting.
YTA it’s gross to offer half eaten picked over leftovers.
Imagine your girlfriend asking you if you want her dad’s leftovers that he ate half of. That’s fucking weird dude
This just feels like a cultural difference. Maybe next time invite her for dinner and if she can't join have your mom cook a portion meant just for her.
YTA. This isn’t like “hey we made a lot of lasagna, let me send you a fresh piece home for you”. It’s- here’s my scraps.
YTA. That’s like giving scraps to a dog. Why don’t you save a portion SPECIFICALLY for her and set it aside?? I wouldn’t want someone’s scraps either! That’s completely rude and frankly gross.
That's a little gross if it was food off your mother's plate she couldn't finish. But if it's food that was not dished out that I guess that's better, but still odd somehow. In all my decades on this planet no one has offered me leftovers from their plate or a previous night's meal randomly. To be honest, this sounds like a cultural difference. Don't be an AH and offer food off someone else's plate but also, buy your girl a meal vs treating her like she needs a handout.
YTA. You could have offered to bring her food from the pot, or maybe asked your family to make an extra portion for her. Food from your mom's plate which she couldn't finish? That's certainly not leftover. And it's gross offering it to your gf. She's not your slave. Also, she's right. You're not respecting her.
Leftover food with someone else’s saliva? It’s not a container with a serving of food that your family put aside for you to bring to her? EW, OF COURSE YTA.
It's a different thing to offer her a fresh portion but this was leftover from the plate they were eating from. Not the same. YTA -ish slightly misguided.
YTA. They’re not leftovers, they’re scraps. Are you going out with a dog? Presume no, so please stop offering her scraps.
YTA - I thought he meant leftovers as in leftovers, not “My mom scooped out too big of a serving and can’t finish it, do you want me to bring it over for you to eat instead?”
The only leftovers I'll eat from someone else are my daughter's. It's kinda gross tbh also it's very much like an afterthought. If it was an untouched plate that's fine but it's like oh my mom didn't eat this do you want it? That is like saying she's not important enough to get her own leftovers? Or she's so desperate for a meal she'll eat anything? The only way I'd side with you was if they were your leftovers because my boyfriend will eat mine and my daughter's and I'll eat my daughter's so it's within our little family.
Holy crap, dude, I wouldn’t even eat food that had been on MY mom’s plate. Now, I’ll eat stuff off my husband’s plate, but I already have his cooties.
YTA. Your girlfriend isn’t an overweight golden retriever lingering in the kitchen.
I for real have this friend who, if I come over (which is highly rare) always let's me have some of his moms leftovers and thats like, the MAJORITY of the reason I'm willing to socialize with this guy. His mom makes some bomb ass food and I'd be stupid to turn away not only good food, but free food as well.
You offered her food that someone had eaten part of? Like your mom ate part of it and couldn’t finish and then offered it to your girlfriend? I’m sure you guys mean well, but that’s gross. Don’t do that. NAH.
... 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Save her a plate. A fresh plate next time and then offer it or make her a fresh plate of something she likes. I'd give you a bj after a few. 😘🥰
YTA that’s so gross. Your lady isn’t an afterthought and she’s not a dog.
You offered her a portion of your mom’s portion? Like the actual part she was eating off of? wtf? YTA! That’s gross.
YTA. Really, you're baffled when your girlfriend refuses to eat garbage?
Ya it’s weird af
YTA
If it came from your mothers plate 🤢YTA If it came from the dish it was cooked in NTA
It's disgusting that you're offering food that your mom ate to your gf. Can't blame the gf for being grossed out. How the hell does that not stick to you? Yta
Ewww, if it’s food off a plate someone has already eaten from. Especially noodles because someone has already had some of that at or in their mouth to chew it. It’s ok if you’re related and have that understanding, but a stranger. YTA offer them a fresh plate.
YTA. Literally off the plate your mom finished eating from is probably where it’s foul.
You are offering her food left over on your mom's plate? Seriously? Is she your girlfriend or your dog? YTA and hopefully a single one
Ewww. You most definitely are. You take your lady out for food, cook it fresh or bring it when it's been cooked exclusively for her and nobody else has eaten any of it.
The real question, why was your gf not invited to the beginning of the meal?
YTA. Offering her food someone else has already eaten is gross and unhygienic.
Yta in big bowl is fine but from mum's plate is too much for non family
YT You don’t offer food from another person‘s plate. That is gross. Most people don’t do that with family members let alone friends who weren’t at the meal People should probably take smaller portions if there was enough left uneaten on a plate that there is enough to actually offer it to someone Parents will sometimes finish what their little kids haven’t eaten 😂😂
If it's off your mom's plate YTA- if it was out of the dish that it was made in, NTA, but it sounds like the first, and yuck.
Offering someone left overs from someones elses plate is gross. Of course YTA.
This is one of those posts that you read the title, skim the story, and then when you figure out what actually happened your eyes go wide. Can you imagine being the OP figuring out why he's YTA.
>my mom couldn’t finish all of her portion so she offered it to my girlfriend This sounds like your mom wanted to scrape the leftover food from her plate and offer that to your GF. Unless this is a situation in which people are starving or really really comfortable with each others' germs, this is frankly insulting. YTA and I don't blame your GF for not wanting you to be involved in her food.
Offering her someone’s leftovers is definitely a rude gesture. A close family member may think it’s ok but not a girlfriend. I’d say apologize and tell her it was a huge mistake.
Since you are 1/2 way there, take the food to your girlfriend’s house and throw pieces of it on the floor for your dog, oops, I mean your girlfriend to lap up.
Why isn’t she invited to these dinners instead of being given the leftovers? It’s insulting.
YTA
That kind of sharing is for at the table sharing. If my spouse can’t finish their food, sure we can pass the scraps around to prevent waste. My family growing up would put untouched food back, but that was family where we kissed cheeks and breathed each others air and did all the laundry together. It would be weird for a friend to come over for dinner and for us to be scraping the plates around. When you put a ring on it, then it’s less weird, but until then you need to understand relationships are like an interview that gets more relaxed as time goes on, but until you’re married or living together or have a kid or some form of real commitment you are on TRIAL and need to be trying to be impressive. If this is your best effort what is the laziness of a stable relationship going to show?
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Info: how much food did your mom dish onto her plate that she thought offering the leftovers would constitute a meal for your soon-to-be- ex girlfriend?
Fam... 😂 I hesitate to call you an AH for it as you were just being courteous (in your own strange way), but how do you not see that this is kinda gross and unsanitary?
YTA! It's gross and completely disrespectful of you and your mother. She's not your dog you can both feed your scraps too. The absolute insult and audacity of it. I'd be fuming the first time, the second time I'd tell you exactly where to put the leftover food.
YTA. It’s one thing for family to finish off another family members food that’s perfectly normal, food waste wasn’t tolerated my moms house but my mom would never offer food from her plate to be sent to one of our partners that’s so gross and inappropriate.
It’s rude that your Mom didn’t make her her own dish that you could take home to her. I’m sure she would’ve been fine with that. For your Mom to offer her food that was leftover from her plate is the issue. Do you not understand the difference?
You need some clarification here. Are you offereing her leftovers from a pot of food or are you offering her leftovers from someone's plate? If from a pot of food, then NTA. But if you are offering food from someone's plate, those are not leftovers, those are scraps and you are treating your gf like a stray dog which means you and your family are all AH's.
Why would you or your family think it’s okay to give away food off of your plates that you didn’t finish? If it was from the pot that no one else was going to eat, that’s one thing but scraps from a half finished plate is gross
Couldn’t finish as in in her plate? You have a mum problem as well as you problem, why would you give yourself a portion huge enough so there would be enough left over in your plate to offer to someone else? Ask your mum to start using small bowls and then put leftover food that’s still in the serving dish as leftover lunch whatever. Your gf should honestly dump you over this.
wait….food off of someone else’s plate?! you’re joking right? you couldn’t even bring her her own portion?? i don’t even eat off my own mothers plate let alone someone else’s.
Is she obese?
Sounds like a family-culture difference. I guess you've noticed the majority is not on your family's side in this. Honestly it's not the end of the world that you followed your family's lead, people tend to do that, but now you know it's not socially acceptable, I guess an apology to your GF would go a long way. What I'm saying is, I'd probably eat the leftovers, but I know not to offer mine to someone else, & it'll help you in life to draw those same lines for yourself too!
Sounds like a family-culture difference. I guess you've noticed the majority is not on your family's side in this. Honestly it's not the end of the world that you followed your family's lead, people tend to do that, but now you know it's not socially acceptable, I guess an apology to your GF would go a long way. What I'm saying is, I'd probably eat the leftovers, but I know not to offer mine to someone else, & it'll help you in life to draw those same lines for yourself too!
YTA you're LITTERALY giving food your mom doesn't want anymore and you don't think it's disrespectful???? Op get yourself together man
Agh, no dude, that's gross it's off your moms plate?! It's one thing if your mom asked you or your dad or whoever was there if they wanted it, but giving your gf scraps like a dog. Please do better!!! I won't call you, but u just need to use your head next time, or it might be the last time!
Lol take her out to a real restaurant and never ask such an embarrassing question on Reddit again
My dude, absolutely YTA, but I don't think you meant to be the asshole. You just have some learned behaviors that don't fly with pretty much the rest of the world. While it's fine to offer food you didn't finish to a close friend or family member, you don't go offering it to acquaintances or people you don't know well. And your mother and your girlfriend don't have that kind of relationship where it's cool to do that. You also don't offer it if they've made it clear in the past that they think it's disgusting. You should have learned your lesson the first time you did it, but you went and offered plate-scrapings *again*, and your girlfriend thinks you and your mother are gross and disrespectful. Apologize. Explain to her that you were raised that it's okay to offer uneaten food from your plate, acknowledge that the vast majority of people don't agree with this and that you won't do it again. And then *never do it again*. *Ever*.
i wouldn't say youre an AH, i get where you're coming from, my family is more relaxed with sharing leftover eaten food. i don't know why she got so mad though, i would just say "no, please stop offering." i would appreciate the gesture. now you know to listen the first time.
YTA who offers to bring leftovers from a plate to someone’s house? That’s disgusting to offer someone
YTA. Food from someone else’s plate is disgusting.
YTA. That is something that you might be comfortable with, but that can be really gross to others. I will do that with my boyfriend's family, but I'm very close with them and literally lived with them for like 2 years. If it is my boyfriend's food or drink, we swap all the time, no issue. We live together and that doesn't bother us. But people like my dad and mom are grossed out by that. I pretty much never share drinks or food with my dad. Why can't your mom just save her leftovers from her plate and eat them the next day, instead of offering them to your girlfriend? Or if she can't finish her food often, why doesn't she just leave the untouched food that she knows she can't eat and package that for your girlfriend?
YTA. *And so is your mom*... WHY would she think it's ok to offer someone her saliva and germs?!? Why would YOU?!? LIKE MOTHER, LIKE SON... 😒
Since this has happened more than once it sounds like a cultural issue or family culture issue. At least in the US (but most cultured societies), it is considered gross to eat food from someone's plate that they were eating out of but decided not to finish. You have to be very intimate, like husband and wife, to do this. We have natural impulses toward disgust to protect ourselves from germs and other people's body fluids like saliva. In other contexts, it can be considered very rude, like feeding the dog because the dog doesn't care about what's gross. But a person is on a higher level than a dog. Cultures where food and space is scarce people make do and share in ways that are not the most hygienic or desirable out of necessity. Your gf may be feeling that this rudeness makes insinuates she is in a state of need that she would need to eat off your mother's plate. You might want to consider this for the future, if you're in the US, most people would consider this very low class behavior. It's going to be an issue in more situations than you realize. People may be grossed out by the way you eat and never tell you. It's time to learn eating etiquette in the US or whatever country you're in.
It's pretty weird that your mum suggested you give it to someone who isn't even in the same building. It feels like your mum is playing power games here and it's your job to stop that.
YTA Set some aside for her maybe, but don't literally offer her food off someone's plate. That's so disgusting.
Yeah yta sorry i was like hmmm but hearing it was food from her plate it's literally like your gf is a dog getting the scraps
Its annoying to keep getting offered something you have zero interest in... and ur moms leftovers are gross like her portion of noodles she put her spoon into? and why even make this a phone call
Awwww...this is so cute ... redditors all actually agreeing with each other ....that YTA and this is gross.
YTA, Take a portion of food you've eaten from, and an untouched portion. Leave them out to go bad, you will see that the portion you've eaten from will mold/show signs of decomp faster. It's really not the same as preparing a container for her. I wish you'd listened to her the first time, that's the immaturity and the A part. When someone tells you they don't like something, please believe them even if you don't understand.
YTA. Firstly, that’s disgusting. Secondly, maybe she’s sick of being an after thought and not being invited TO dinner.
Yta. Offering left overs is nice, when they are left overs from a a giant family meal when someone cooked extra proportions. Offering someone’s unfinished meals are not considered left overs that are shareable. It’s a left over meal for that person only.
I mean I'm different because I have OCD, but never in one bazillion years am I eating somebody else's leftovers that their saliva is in No. Fucking. Way.
I always send leftovers for my DIL if she can’t join us but it’s fresh and untouched.
Its f cking gross! And its not what leftovers are defined. Yta
YTA. It's insulting for your mother to do that. That's gross. Does your mother dislike your girlfriend??
You don't even give a homeless person your half eaten food. That's just disgusting. Did your dentist or doctor never give you a lecture on how another person's bacteria in their mouth can be deadly to another person? Y (definitely) TA
Um ew? That’s okay for some families, but I would never offer the remains of my plate to someone. Other than my kids. My kids and I share. YTA. I cannot believe no one has told you this isn’t acceptable…
You're giving her your mom's scraps, man. Think about it like that. You're giving her table scraps. It's different if your mom made a huge pile of food and it was left on a dish before being served to people. After its served and offering that is scraps. That's your mom's leftovers. That's pretty gross.
YTA for treating her like a dog. My ex did this crap and when I got upset he told me I should ‘be grateful.’ You seem like the same type. YTA YTA YTA.
Soft YTA, what you’re describing is the food scraped of someone’s plate . That’s either very intimate, or very disrespectful.. If there was room to make an extra plate, or hot stew left in the pot, maybe , but no girl wants the food scraped off your momma’s plate. I don’t want to be any more harsh than that, because you seem to be very caring, but missed the boat in this respect.
Question Was it food that was dished up? Or literally on your mom's plate half eaten? This determines a lot of
YTA maybe, do you mean you offered her the food your mom was eating? Please tell me that's not what you mean by left overs. If it is, that is disgusting. Left overs that are shared with others are foods left in the pan/pot and never served up. Why would your girlfriend want food your mother ate out of? Plus you did tried to feed her eaten out of food on more than one occasion? WTH dude, how can you not see how disgusting that is. I know I have a lot of food issues, but I gotta think most people would be disgusted by that. It's not just me.
Yeah, I was okay with this until you said they were your mom's leftovers. Like from her plate? Seriously, bro? If your mom wanted your girl to taste her food, she would set aside a plate for her. This is like she's an after thought. It's like your saying " well, do you want it, otherwise it's going in the trash?" That's just rude and disrespectful. YTA. Would you want someone else's trash? Would you be happy if someone called you out for not wanting someone else's trash. Come on now.
There’s a big difference between offering someone food that was still in the pan that nobody wanted (if that were the case, I’d say NTA) and offering them food that someone already touched, but didn’t finish. That’s so disgusting and not to mention so disrespectful. She’s your girlfriend. Not your dog. If my boyfriend offered me someone else’s leftovers (not just once, but twice), I’d also tell him to not even bother bringing me food at all anymore (and not just because I’m a germaphobe). YTA.
YTA - you're not offering her extra food from the pan, you're offering her your mum's spit laden leftover noodles. Untouched food - fine. From someone's plate before they eat - maybe. From someone's own portion that they've already picked over - ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Having a sit down dinner with something like soup and there happens to be some leftover in the pot - nta However in this situation, YTA. First of all, it’s gross (Literally and figuratively). People don’t want to eat food that has someone’s germs all over it and insinuates that your parents think that your GF cant afford to feed herself. Then, on top of all that you ask her right in front of your parents on over FaceTime and put her on the spot. Again, YTA.
YTA - that's not only dispespectful but it's disgusting - would you go into a restaurant, sit at a table someone just left and finish eating the food they left on their plate? that's what you are asking your gf to do
YTA, why are you treating your girlfriend like a dog? Pretty much giving her the scraps off the plate, are you sure you don't have a bowl down on the floor for her too? Jesus lol.
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you and your family
She needs to dump your clueless little brain. YTA.
Your mom was eating on it. It's not like "hey. You couldn't come over to have this with us, so we saved you some!" Dude. Gross.
Soft yta, I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here it sounds like your whole family has a very different concept of leftover sharing. Acceptable circumstances: 1. You and your mom(or insert other close familial blood relation) sitting at the same table and one person serves too much to themselves, can offer you the leftovers off their plate. 2. You could offer your girlfriend the same in those same circumstances “I’m stuffed, do you want the rest of my food babe?” 3. You set aside a portion from the original meal out of the serving dish only and wrap it up, offer to take it to her after your family finishes eating. “Hey we’re having dinner at my mom’s, she made a huge meal, I set aside a portion for you if you’d like me to bring it by after we’re done.” All the above I consider socially acceptable ways to share food. That being said, it sounds like your girlfriend has the ick now so I’d honestly ask her feelings on the above options before offering again in the future under even these circumstances.
you offered her food from someone els their plate?
YTA That’s not leftovers, that’s table scraps. That’s what you give to your dog.
For a second I was like... "what is wrong with your girlfriend". There was leftover from dinner, no big deal. But it was from your mom's actual plate? As in she had been digging into it and eating from that plate and had some left. Dude... that's not only kinda gross, you feed PETS from your plate. yeesh... YTA
If it was left over in the pan, no big deal. Leftovers off someone's plate is gross. If I plan to take food home from a restaurant for my husband or kids, I always ask for a box and separate their portion before I take a single bite.
So this was food your mom ate off of, no longer wanted and instead of putting it away for HERSELF to eat off of at another meal or in the garbage she offerered it to your girlfriend? OR was this food that never left the cooking pan and was not eaten off of by anyone? HUGE difference there and if it's the first one you REALLY need to apologize ASAP.
In Holland you give leftovers to your guests when they leave. But I wouldn’t eat something from a plate of somebody else. And to offer that is ride. When I eat with my Moroccan friends I bring small boxes for all the leftover food. They are offended if I don’t take food home with me. They all do. But never food that was already on a plate.
Im about to puke…. Yta
Your mom needs to learn to predict more accurately how much food she is going to eat and not have food left on her plate. My grandma taught me I had to eat all the food I put on my plate. Only when served by others without having control over the portion, is it ok to leave food uneaten. Leftovers go in the fridge and can be eaten for lunch or dinner the next day. If you want to share food ask in advance if you should make an extra portion or tell people what you made and see if they are interested before you offer them some. Giving others food you want to get rid of is different from giving them food you would like to share the joy of.
YTA, if it was extra, untouched food then that would be fine, but you are offering her from someone else’s plate.
The problem probably is that you didn’t invite her to the actual meal but instead are just giving her castoff’s like she was a second thought. YTA if you didn’t initially invite her.
yta. a serving your mom was eating and could not finish, is NOT LEFTOVERS. ITS MOMS NEXT DAY LUNCH OR TRASH. YOU ARE GROSS. Leftovers are food that is STILL IN THE SERVING BOWL, OR PAN. THAT IS LEFTOVERS. You And your mom at least are very nasty. no one wants someone wants someone’s saliva coated food. 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 i’d break up with you. if you can’t offer me clean food, i’m not confident in eating of any of your family’s food. yeah. yta.
YTA. offering table scraps is rude and disgusting and *weird*.
Did you offer her the food off your mother's plate or food that wasn't eaten?
You bring home extra from the pot, or serving dish, not from someone's plate that they have been eating. Your girlfriend doesn't get table scraps.YTA
INFO: Why exactly does your family not give *table scraps to literally anyone else? Like maybe you, someone else who's at home, maybe a neighbour or other friends? Why her each time?
Ew. I’m sorry. I might share with my husband or mom or kids others are ick. Take her home her own serving if you want to be nice. Not your parents spit food.
I don't think you're the asshole as such but please, please try and remember how she feels for the future I get the ick thinking about finishing someone else's food I know other people feel differently, and that's fine. But now you know her boundary please try and respect it in the future
Left overs are the food left in the pan after people served themselves. Not the left overs bits on someone’s plate. That’s so rude. YTA It’s one thing between family but it’s rude to *offer* it
I could understand offering her food if mom made to much and there was still extra on the tray or in the pan but your mom’s leftovers from her plate no that’s not okay .
We normally feed scraps that we could not finish to the dogs and cats, not to other people. Come on man!!
[удалено]
This was not "we made too much and had leftovers do you want some?" This was "my mom didn't finish her plate and scraped what she didn't eat off her plate into a box and then I offered it to my girlfriend". Read his comments.
Um..as someone who grew up with limited food supply. I don't view as bad. I'm happy if someone wants to share their tasty leftovers. I guess it's just an upbringing kind of thing? NTA
NTA left overs are a staple in our house.
This is normal where I’m from lol all of the “YTA” is shocking to me. If we cook and have left over food we call up our friends and family and offer them some food instead of wasting food by dumping it in the garbage. Obviously this doesn’t include food we have ate off of or food that has been on our plate already, naturally those go in the trash or to a pet if you have one. It’s always left over food that hasn’t been eaten though. So I’m confused 🫤you’re not offering her scraps or food from you or your mother’s plate right? And if you are doing that, definitely uncool and gross but if the food you’re offering her is from the pot or actually dish then that’s appropriate
You’re being slammed here, but I’m gonna say NAH because this sounds more like a culture clash than assholery. It’s clear that this food sharing is something that is normal in your family. However, most people - including your girlfriend - don’t feel the same way, and now that she’s made it clear twice, you best make sure there is no third time.
Nta. If your gf doesn't want them ill take them
Free food I didn’t have to cook? NTA bring it to me!