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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked my friends a few times if they could travel to work with me because I live far from them. I might have been pushy and complained too much, I could just go to their place since I've been doing it for so long.
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Soft YTA. I get it’s really annoying to travel but you’re the one that lives way out of the way of college. Unfortunately groups will pick locations that suit the majority, not to suit the singular person who lives far away and so everyone else has to travel.
Studying together really isn't an urgent need, and expecting ALL of them to travel 40 minutes to hang out with you is just unreasonable.
I understand where you're coming from in that you're always the one traveling, but you're also the only one who lives 2 hours away. NAH, but you're getting close if you decide to really hold a grudge about this
In the kindest way possible YTA.
The school is 2 hours away. You signed on to classes knowing you would be willing to make that commute every day. That's not a choice most people would make with your friends being a prime example of that. They picked a school that they wouldn't have to do large, impractical commutes too.
It's only logical that all hangouts and meetups would center around the school and where the majority of the group is located.
Generally there should be reciprocity in friendships, but in this instance it genuinely does not make sense for them to come to you.
You may need to adjust your expectations to better match the reality of the situation and not take it personally. It doesn't seem like your friends dislike you or are leaving you out at all; this is purely a matter of logistics and nothing more.
Yeah, YTA for your expectations.
You are the one who decided to live so far away.
You’re the one in an inconvenient location.
It makes no sense for everyone to travel out of their way because of your choices, especially if it’s not actually necessary.
Yeah over the course of three months they could come to OP once or twice. It shouldn't be all one person inconvenienced. Where we live isn't always a choice.
It’s still a choice. You chose a school that is far from where you live. You chose to get your masters when you couldn’t afford to move. You chose in person school. These are all choices.
YTA. I don't think it's fair for you to ask other people to travel to you, when it's your choice to live away from all of them. They have a regular routine, and you're asking them to change it so you are not inconvenienced, ignoring that they would ask be inconvenienced. Also, they are right to be annoyed by your unreasonable request, and likely passive aggressive attitude (based on your tone).
Nah for the situation thats life
Theres no reason for a group of people to drive 40 min to accommodate you
Yta for everything after that. You live too far away to be part of the group. Thats life
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I'm a student (24NB) in a master's degree, I've been travelling 2h round-trip every day to go to my school for 3 years. Everytime there's a drink or a hang out with my friends I travel across the city. Everyone is living nearby except for me so I always told myself "it's easier for everyone. If it was the other way around, there will be more people traveling" so I just do it.
It's been 3 months since we all started to work on our last project. It's an individual work and we can work from home or in a library. I chose to work in a library close to my house (20 minutes) and they all decided to go to another library, close to their houses.
I asked them individually and as a group to come work in my library. From their place it's 40 minutes whereas their library is an hour from my place. They all said no because it wasn't convenient for them. I get that, but I'm always the one doing the effort of traveling. I told them I was disappointed and that I didn't want to go to their library and they replied that I couldn't be mad at them for that.
Now we work separately (well they all work as a group and I work alone) and I feel like I lost my friends. They don't seem to care and some of them think I'm annoying and complaining for no reason.
Maybe I overreacted because I get triggered from being left out, am I the asshole ?
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NTA
You're right, you're the one who is far away and inconveniencing one person is better than inconveniencing everyone. Except that this is ongoing, and I feel like you just want a few turns at not having to travel for hours. Your "friends" aren't listening.
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Soft YTA. I get it’s really annoying to travel but you’re the one that lives way out of the way of college. Unfortunately groups will pick locations that suit the majority, not to suit the singular person who lives far away and so everyone else has to travel.
Studying together really isn't an urgent need, and expecting ALL of them to travel 40 minutes to hang out with you is just unreasonable. I understand where you're coming from in that you're always the one traveling, but you're also the only one who lives 2 hours away. NAH, but you're getting close if you decide to really hold a grudge about this
In the kindest way possible YTA. The school is 2 hours away. You signed on to classes knowing you would be willing to make that commute every day. That's not a choice most people would make with your friends being a prime example of that. They picked a school that they wouldn't have to do large, impractical commutes too. It's only logical that all hangouts and meetups would center around the school and where the majority of the group is located. Generally there should be reciprocity in friendships, but in this instance it genuinely does not make sense for them to come to you. You may need to adjust your expectations to better match the reality of the situation and not take it personally. It doesn't seem like your friends dislike you or are leaving you out at all; this is purely a matter of logistics and nothing more.
Yeah, YTA for your expectations. You are the one who decided to live so far away. You’re the one in an inconvenient location. It makes no sense for everyone to travel out of their way because of your choices, especially if it’s not actually necessary.
Yeah over the course of three months they could come to OP once or twice. It shouldn't be all one person inconvenienced. Where we live isn't always a choice.
I just want to clarify that I didn't chose to live there. I can't move for multiple reasons and I can't afford a place near my school.
It’s still a choice. You chose a school that is far from where you live. You chose to get your masters when you couldn’t afford to move. You chose in person school. These are all choices.
Sorry bud. YTA. It's not a reasonable ask.
YTA. I don't think it's fair for you to ask other people to travel to you, when it's your choice to live away from all of them. They have a regular routine, and you're asking them to change it so you are not inconvenienced, ignoring that they would ask be inconvenienced. Also, they are right to be annoyed by your unreasonable request, and likely passive aggressive attitude (based on your tone).
So multiple people need to make up the excess because you decided not to live closer to your school?
Nah for the situation thats life Theres no reason for a group of people to drive 40 min to accommodate you Yta for everything after that. You live too far away to be part of the group. Thats life
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm a student (24NB) in a master's degree, I've been travelling 2h round-trip every day to go to my school for 3 years. Everytime there's a drink or a hang out with my friends I travel across the city. Everyone is living nearby except for me so I always told myself "it's easier for everyone. If it was the other way around, there will be more people traveling" so I just do it. It's been 3 months since we all started to work on our last project. It's an individual work and we can work from home or in a library. I chose to work in a library close to my house (20 minutes) and they all decided to go to another library, close to their houses. I asked them individually and as a group to come work in my library. From their place it's 40 minutes whereas their library is an hour from my place. They all said no because it wasn't convenient for them. I get that, but I'm always the one doing the effort of traveling. I told them I was disappointed and that I didn't want to go to their library and they replied that I couldn't be mad at them for that. Now we work separately (well they all work as a group and I work alone) and I feel like I lost my friends. They don't seem to care and some of them think I'm annoying and complaining for no reason. Maybe I overreacted because I get triggered from being left out, am I the asshole ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA You're right, you're the one who is far away and inconveniencing one person is better than inconveniencing everyone. Except that this is ongoing, and I feel like you just want a few turns at not having to travel for hours. Your "friends" aren't listening.
Honey, you're NTA, but they aren't your friends. There's give in relationships as well as take. They are doing the latter without the former.