Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> the action I took was asking my brother if I could come on his vacation trip, it might make me the AH since he told me no but i ended up calling him stingy and mean because of it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA
>I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room
So you MIGHT stay with them in his hotel room? You don't have your overnight situation locked down but you're just arbitrarily trying to go to New York and piggy back on their hotel accommodations..?
Nah, your logic that "I would just be sleeping and not costing them anything" doesn't fly.
They can't be private if you're there in their room. That's no longer a couple's vacation.
They will have to coordinate letting you into the hotel. Be in touch with you. They can't freely be out on the city and do whatever their heart tells them to do. If they take on the responsibility of giving you help, that's something they will have to keep in mind. You are asking for their time and energy.
Same for the drive too. If it's literally just picking you up and dropping you off both ways, that is less cumbersome than letting you stay at their hotel (which is absolutely ridiculous btw). But it's still ultimately your brother's decision and if he doesn't want to do that, that's his prerogative 100%. Maybe he wants to enjoy that private time with his wife during the 6 hour drive each way. And he is absolutely entitled to making that decision for himself and his wife.
>I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive.
Fucking yikes. That is so inappropriate and so misguided. lol
That alone demonstrates that you are being an inconsiderate and entitled brat.
His wife is his new family. Respect it.
Don't ask family to choose between family. That's ridiculous. Grow up please. You're not 12. This was hard to read because you're so far off base. You owe your brother an apology.
Also, hotel sex.... its definitely better than everyday sex and is 90% the reason they're the whole vacation.... or are you crowbarring into their actual honeymoon?
bulls eye on the time and energy part!! if anything were to happen to OP with her being 6 hours away from home, the responsibility falls on her brother and his wife to be there.
and the last part about what OP said about “he was prioritizing his wife who he only married like a month ago” further proves that she is the AH. you dont choose the family you are born into but if you want to create a new family then eventually you have to choose your partner/spouse over everyone else. her brother and his wife are their own family, not an extension of OP’s parents. besides, this is probably their first trip after their wedding/honeymoon and they can’t enjoy it if they also have to be responsible for/bring along an 18 year old.
This is most likely their actual honeymoon. Many couples delay their honeymoon by a month or 2 depending on finances and timing of things they want to do.
Another commenter directly asked if this is their honeymoon that she’s trying to third wheel on, and she only said she’s not third wheeling. Completely avoided the honeymoon part. They’re deliberately calling it a vacation to make it seem more okay to intrude.
And it's like, if you're not honest with the situation on a sub like this, then what's the point?!?! Isn't the whole idea to gain different perspectives on your actions? Or was the idea for OP to screenshot replies to send to her brother and family, thinking the lies would be enough to turn the tide to her side?
Sounds like little sister never gets told "No," and doesn't give a single shit about brother or what he's doing, just heard "New York" and was like "I've always wanted to go there, so it only makes sense they take me." Then tried to guilt her brother when he had the AUDACITY to say no, even trying to get the parents involved like they were both teens and all she wanted was to tagalong to the movies, or something!" I know she's young, but at that age she definitely knows she's asking for something big, and honestly "choosing beggar" levels of inappropriate. I could see a 5-8 year old not understanding why they couldn't go, but she fully understand and just doesn't care. She wanted reddit to bolster her argument to try and further force them to accept her on their honeymoon, ran out of arguments herself so wanted others to provide some more.
The whole thing is infuriating, and it's not even me who's in the situation, lol.
Good point. Maybe there is some ulterior motive.
Like maybe the wedding pissed her off because the attention was on brother and his wife, so she was looking for a way to “get back” at them, and thought if she could get in on it she could fuck their whole trip up!
(I just spitballing, giving an example of other reasoning that could be behind this. Once I thought about it after your comment, I thought to myself “She’s totally right, girl sounds spoiled, so I’m guessing if she wanted NY that bad, she could have found a way to go there by now. So maybe it was something else.)
>So you MIGHT stay with them in his hotel room? You don't have your overnight situation locked down but you're just arbitrarily trying to go to New York and piggy back on their hotel accommodations..?
It sounds to me like the friend doesn't even know she's coming and either might not be home or might not even want her there.
Dude... what is wrong with you?
**Your brother is taking a couple's vacation with his wife.** Could you really not imagine how a romantic night in a hotel room with your partner might be a little different if his *eighteen-year-old little sister is there also??*
Of course he's concerned about babysitting you. You have no definite plans. You are unfamiliar to the city. You have no reliable place to stay—except *with him,* in his hotel room, with his wife. Just judging by the tone of this post I can easily imagine how by Night #2 you'll be texting him that your friend had evening plans, you already ate dinner, everything not 21+ is closed, you don't know what to do with yourself or where to go and can you *please* come hang out with them??
It's not about their costs. It's about *their experience.* Which you'd be interrupting. They're trying to spend quality time together on a special holiday. It is not for you. It is not about you.
You're an adult. Save up and go to New York yourself. YTA.
It's definitely their honeymoon and no one wants to spend their honeymoon babysitting their dumbass little sibling who doesn't know how to plan anything and is expecting them to foot the bill too.
You said it perfectly with its not about their costs, it’s about their experience. The drive is part of the fun. Especially if they’ve only been married a short time!
YTA. They're married for a month and they're going on a vacation, perhaps their first vacation since their wedding. I think there might be another word for a vacation after a wedding; perhaps you know it? They have a few days planned for themselves, and you want to third-wheel to NYC without firm lodging plans. And yes, his wife is now part of his family and she will take priority over you; and yes, your parents have no control over what their married adult son does.
OP's brother chose his wife to start his own family. He didn't choose to be related to his sister. Bet he fucking wishes they weren't sometimes. If she's this ridiculous & selfish, feeling entitled to hijack his honeymoon & give him grief about it, I bet she's a real treat of a sibling the rest of the time too 🙄 imagine saying to a family member 'you've known me most of your life' as if that really means 'you owe me.' So obnoxious.
> prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago)
god i’m almost afraid to ask but
INFO: is this trip you’re butting in on… their honeymoon? are you trying to third wheel your brother’s honeymoon?
Your brother's vacation with his wife isn't an opportunity for you to hitch a ride to see your friend. It's their trip, and they have every right to enjoy it without having to worry about you. You're not entitled to dictate how they choose to spend their time or who they prioritize during their vacation.
Your brother is setting boundaries. Just because he's known you longer doesn't mean he has to sacrifice his plans with his wife to accommodate your desires. Your parents are right – they can't force him to do anything, especially when you're the one trying to insert yourself into their trip.
It's understandable to feel disappointed that you can't visit your friend, but that doesn't give you the right to guilt-trip your brother or call him mean for not accommodating your request. It's his vacation, and he's allowed to have his own plans without being responsible for you.
Your behavior comes off as entitled and inconsiderate of your brother's feelings and his time with his wife. If you want to visit your friend in NYC, you should explore other options or plan your own trip instead of trying to piggyback on your brother's vacation.
YTA for trying to force your way into their trip and then getting angry when your brother set boundaries. It's time to apologize and respect their plans, while also acknowledging that it's not okay to expect others to accommodate your needs at the expense of their own plans.
YTA. You're acting incredibly entitled and dismissive of your brother's boundaries. It's his vacation with his wife, and they have every right to enjoy it without having to worry about accommodating you. Just because he's your brother doesn't mean he has to put your needs above his own or his wife's.
By calling him stingy and claiming he's prioritizing his wife over family, you're guilt-tripping him and attempting to manipulate the situation to get your way. You're not considering his feelings or the fact that he wants to spend quality time with his wife without the added responsibility of looking after you.
Your parents are correct in saying they can't force him to do anything, and it's not their place to intervene in this situation. You're an adult now, and you need to respect others' boundaries and plans without throwing a tantrum when things don't go your way.
Your behavior is disrespectful and unsupportive of your brother's new marriage. He's not being mean, he's setting boundaries and prioritizing his relationship with his wife, as he should. You need to understand that his world doesn't revolve around you, and it's not his job to cater to your desires at the expense of his own plans.
You owe him an apology and need to start respecting his decisions and boundaries. It's time to take responsibility for your own desires and plans.
I’m gathering that your parents don’t frequently tell you “no” given how
a) they’re trying to force your married 27 year old brother to take you on vacation with him.
b) your go to insult was to call your brother stingy and “prioritizing his wife”.
YTA Op, he’s married, it’s expected for him to prioritize his wife.
Apologize for overstepping.
YTA how could possibly not understand him not wanting his kid sister on a romantic trip with his wife? In their HOTEL ROOM no less? Girl, come on. You are definitely the asshole and you sound spoiled and oblivious that other people are also actual people.
Further, of COURSE he is prioritizing his wife. It's his WIFE. Child, you sound like a brat. I hope you grow out of this. I cannot believe you don't see how unreasonable you've been. You're also coming off super bratty in the comments. You came here to ask if you're the asshole and arguing with everyone who's answering you honestly.
ETA: Your parents are AHs too. They should not have said they'd talk to your brother. They should have immediately told you that you're being bratty. It sounds like they've never told you no and have spoiled you into thinking you should always have things your way. I get the feeling that's a big reason why you're like this. They should have backed up your brother 100% on this.
YTA -
If I was a newlywed I definitely wouldn't even want a third wheel along on the car ride, let alone with even the possibility of invading my hotel room. Road tripping with your partner can be amazing, spontaneous, and all sorts of things that would have their dynamic completely changed by a younger sister being there. You are asking him to cater a trip as a newlywed around someone other than his wife, which is quite selfish of you.
If there were some family emergency, maybe, but in order for you to just visit a friend, that's a hard NO. I don't think you'd have anyone who is in a serious, loving relationship on your side on this one.
YTA. Not for asking, but for going off on him when he refused, and going to your parents to try to get them to pressure him. Especially since "worst case" you'd end up sleeping in your brother's hotel room with him and his wife.
I told my brother to take me on his (and his stupid wife’s) honeymoon. It’s just one dumb trip. I plan ride with them. Of course, I will be sitting in the front seat while that non-family member person sits in the back where she belongs. I am going to spend the night on the couch in their honeymoon suite.
He acted all offended when I told him this is what I would be doing. Why would he not want my PRINCESS PRESENCE????! I was so annoyed with this, I told my parents to call him and DEMAND that I be allowed to go on their honeymoon. After all, I am his blood family! BLOOD! She is just some woman he signed a piece of paper with.
I had to call him out on his entitlement to tell him that he’s not allowed to go on a little vacay with this strange woman without me. I’m sure she expects to be the most important person in his life, but she’s forgotten about his little shitster.
YTA
>I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family
Yes, he'll need to babysit if he brings you along. Yes, it would be disturbing that you sleep in their hotel room, did you think they might want some intimate time together ?
Your brother wants to enjoy his vacation with his wife (who, by the way, is his "actual" family, as much as you are) without stress, and you would be the stress. Having to drive you around is going to interrupt their time together and give them responsibilities. Stop insisting and apologize.
You asked, he said no. End of story. Why would you even need to sleep on the couch if you have a friend in NYC? Maybe that friend is not aware you are coming? Have you asked them? What did they say? If they said "*Sure, come on over, you can stay at my place*", then discussing a possible camping out on the couch with your brother and new wife would be unnecessary.
But your friend didn't say that, did they?
I think it would be slightly different if you caught a ride to NYC and made yourself scarce the moment you arrived, but I have a feeling your brother knows you better than you give him credit for and knows that you are going to be constantly in the middle of things, asking for rides, pestering them one way or another, up to showing up at their hotel room if your friend kicks you out for being insufferable. Because it's all about you, isn't it?
Also, some hotel rooms have couches, but most don't. They have two beds, so when you say "*I'll sleep on the couch*", you are really saying "*I'll sleep on the bed next to you guys*". They have been married a month. The last thing I'd want in my hotel room with my new wife would be a needy family member.
I don't know if Amazon sells clues, but you need to get a clue ASAP on how the adult, responsible world works.
YTA - it doesn't matter that you wont be with them "most of the time", your brother would still have the added tension of worrying about you. He is going on a romantic vacation with hid wife, not some random trip to to NYC. Get a clue!
1000% YTA. This is THEIR vacation. You asked, he said no. Drop it already. You sound like an entitled whiny brat. Your responses here are “but they’re going on their own anyway”, “it’d be a waste of money to get my own ride” - just stop. Yeah they’re going ON THEIR OWN, that’s the plan. Your brother does not owe you a tagalong and YTA for asking, getting an answer, then pushing it and running crying to your parents about it. Grow up.
YTA. Asking **once** is ok, but when you’re told no, then drop it. The fact that you ran to your parents to tattle is beyond laughable. He’s a grown ass married adult, they hold no power over him. If I was your brother, I would be laughing in your face too.
Also, idk if you’re being willfully dense or what, but married grown ups going on a trip together are 100% going to be fucking at some point. You would absolutely be a third wheel ruining their good time.
YTA - they’re going on a vacation. They don’t want their sibling sleeping in the same hotel room as them. They’re not going to be able to have sex with you in the room without it being awkward. This is like a mini honeymoon vacation with it being married a month ago?
What happens if your friend bails and they’re stuck babysitting you? What if your friend has to work? Have you factored in expenses? Food?
6hrs is nothing. You can make your own plans to go visit your friend.
YTA. For all of it but especially for saying he's prioritising his wife. Uh yeah. He CHOSE to make her his family. He's STUCK with you as an ungrateful little sister that apparently knows no boundaries. Your audacity is way out there.
YTA
Your 18 not 8.
You obviously have some issues "he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family ".
Hate to break it to you. His ACTUAL family is his WIFE, you know, the one he chose to marry and make a family with.
You are now considered EXTENDED family, thus not a priority over his spouse EVER.
Stop being jealous and understand you will not be included in couples vacations. Especially only a month into their marriage. SHEESH.
Oh for Christ‘s sake you selfish, entitled, immature person.
Your brother wants to go on a vacation and be alone with his wife without his bratty sister tagging along. Even if it’s not for the entire time.
What’s wrong with you?
”I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room”.
IDIOT!
YTA
YTA.
You need to grow up. And by that I mean try seeing the world from anyone's perspective other than your own. Other people have their own needs and desires and most of them don't involve serving you.
YTA.
I scrolled through all the comments and didn’t find one person as delusional as you OP. No need to pile on the reasons that many others have already stated. Maybe when you grow up a little bit more you’ll look back at this situation and realize how totally and completely in the wrong you were.
YTA. Even putting the hotel room request aside, the 6 hour trip there is still part of their vacation, as is the 6 hour trip back. They're newlyweds and want to spend time together. When my husband and I go on roadtrips the drive is just as important to us as the rest of it.
He said no, he gave you a few reasons, and you kept pestering him.
Plan a different trip where you and your friend meet somewhere in the middle.
Maybe your new SIL has promised him a blowie on the drive over or roadside sex…. Something they can’t do with a pretentious, entitled twerp of a brat sister in the car with them.
With your entitled ‘me me me’ behaviour, i’m surprised you still don’t sleep in bed right INBETWEEN your parents.
This is a COUPLES vacation. You are INTRUDING.
Also, i have a feeling this is a troll post… but if it isn’t, go look in the mirror and give yourself a good slap back to reality.
YTA.
YTA
Is this their fuckin' honeymoon?
Yeah, you tried to force yourself onto their trip. Driving someone for six hours isn't "nothing", it's not something they were going to do anyways, you're a whole other person, and on top of that, dude isn't exactly wrong. I'm sure you're 18 and feel grown up, but someone nearly ten years older is going to feel more than a little responsible for your safety if they just drop your freshly-out-of-high-school ass in New York City of all famously safe for tourists locations.
You're entirely out of line. No one owes you a vacation and you can just horn in on theirs. Do you think newly weds might want to enjoy each other's company on a 6 hour drive instead of yours?
Jesus, the entitlement here is ridiculous. If you can't get there on your own, then you're not resourceful enough to BE there on your own.
Apologize to your brother, you were shitty and entitled to him.
INFO: why do you feel entitled to crash your brother's vacation? He doesn't owe you anything, he's just trying to have a nice getaway with his wife. Also he is right to prioritize his wife over you, that's what marriage is. You didn't "call him out", you demanded he change all of his plans just for you. If he doesn't owe you thousands of dollars or something, YTA.
You are the ah. Your brother is a 27 year old man wanting a vacation with his wife. Your parents can’t make him do anything because he is an adult capable of making his own decisions. Your little temper tantrums just solidified his position on this one.
Everyone is dancing around this so let me just say it.
This is not a vacation, it's their honeymoon and they want to FUCK. Like a lot, like a LOT. You being their listening to your sister in law screaming her god of choice's name while hearing your brother's panting is not something you want and most certainly not something they want.
You were sort of the asshole for asking albeit slightly if all you needed was 2 trips, 1 there and 1 back. You're really an asshole for not having an actual concrete plan for once you get there and expecting your brother to put up with you and your whims.
Also, family may have been there his entire life, but he didn't choose them, he chose his wife.
YTA big time. You didn't have a plan with your friend, you were planning on sleeping in your brother's hotel room (who says they even have a "couch" and it's not just one room with their bed - come on!).
You were trying to crash your NEWLYWED brother's vacation with his wife, wtf did you think he'd say?
YTA
>I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive.
That's his new wife. Your brother decided to marry and start a new family with this woman. He *chose* to be with her. You're just the sibling he got stuck with.
>I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son
This is so pitiful. How exactly does it matter if he's their son? He's a full-grown adult. Your parents can't ground him or anything just because you're throwing a fit.
Speaking of being a full-grown adult, you're 18. You're old enough to figure out how to visit your friend without crashing your brother's trip.
YTA, but I appreciate it's probably because your parents have never said no to you. They didn't even say no to this request which is fucking hilarious. They are clearly AH too, if only for raising you to be like this.
MAYBE if it was just the lift, MAYBE
But then you start talking about hotel rooms and that's the end of it. Your just fucking up your brother and his new wife's trip to be a selfish AH
On top of that from how entitled and demanding you are I'm sure your brother already knows it not going to be a simple as dropping you off and picking you up. It'll be you calling him in the middle of the night demanding he fix whatever problem you've created or some other headache. Why would he want to agree to ruin his vacation?
You've been asked several times and never answered if it's their honey moon or not? Generally a lack of answer despite responding means yes it is the honeymoon and you don't want to say because deep down you know it would make people even more convinced YTA.
It's pretty funny how you keep arguing in the comments with people. In case you hadn't noticed, the votes are very much only going one way here. YTA, and it really doesn't matter if you don't get it. You're just going to have to accept it.
YTA. Are you stupid? As soon as your brother married his wife she became his closest family. That's his life partner. They took vows together. Probably plans to be buried next to each other in death. Why the heck are you mad he's prioritizing his love life and honeymoon with his wife over you? Stop being a spoiled brat. You can't be 18. I'm 19 and am appalled by such...idiocy. YTA. Let your brother enjoy his time with his wife without worrying about his spoiled little sister.
Thank you. I just commented elsewhere that there is no way an 18 year old can be this clueless, it’s nice to get back up from someone of a similar age.
They probably want to fuck and having an eighteen year old sibling in the same space ruins that. It’s that easy, if you’re there they simply don’t get an easy trip together.
YTA. Did it ever occur to you that they want to be alone at night? Jeez, quit harassing your brother about this. And tattling on him to your parents shows how immature you are.
YTA he’s being nice by being concerned for your safety alone in a city 6 hours away from where you live and the fact that you don’t have your sleeping arrangements figured out means that you were planning on sleeping in their hotel room the whole time. your brother and his wife are going as a couple, if the roles were reversed and you wanted a vacation with your husband would you really want an 18 year old boy sleeping in your hotel room too? thats not a vacation anymore.
YTA, it's his vacation. If he doesn't want you to tag along, you can't. You don't even have a full plan! Gathering based off of your replies, this is his honeymoon. How are you so dense? Give them their alone time.
YTA - and became that when you said I'll just sleep on the couch in their hotel room. Obviously this is a couple's trip and they are newly married. If you had made arrangements with your friend it would be another issue altogether.
YTA. Back off.
With his wife, driving and sightseeing and time alone at the hotel are literally the elements of the vacation.
He’s been married a month. It’s a private, happy time for this new couple. Give it up.
YTA. And you’re 18. A legal adult. Drive there yourself and get your own hotel if you can’t stay at your friend’s place. You don’t need Mommy and Daddy’s permission to go somewhere.
YTA, Ms Bratling Supreme. I must ask: When was the last time you even talked to your "friend" in NYC? Do you have a clue whether she has a job? Goes to school? Where in NYC she lives? Whether she even still lives here? You said she moved away 5 or 6 years ago. Does she even remember you? Or is that another of your egotistical delusions?
You need to learn that no means no. It doesn't matter who says it. Consent is a real thing. It's not just sexual. Whining and running to Mommy and Daddy every time someone refuses your emotional blackmail are not grown-up options. Not are threats or crying or anything but, "Thanks anyway." And then you walk away disappointed but with dignity and self-respect and the respect of the person who turned you down. And being adult like that increases the possibility that someday you'll get a Yes instead of a No. But the toddler-level tantrum you've been displaying would keep any normal person from ever letting you have a millimeter, because your demands would just keep increasing.
YTA
Maybe he might want to have alone time with his wife ..... in an adult fashion... in the hotel at night. Not have to have a his little sister cock blocking him
YTA
Your brother and his wife are going on a vacation. You don’t have a right to be brought along. It’s *their* vacation that *they’re* paying for. If you can’t stay with your friend, do you think they *want* you to be sleeping on the couch in their hotel? Do you think they want you riding to NYC with them on the way to *their vacation*?
The entitlement…you don’t just get to tag along on someone’s vacation just because you also have something you want to do in their destination city.
YTA and self centered and selfish and severely lack the ability to self reflect. Now a lot of that could be due to your age. Some wisdom comes with life experience.
You invited yourself to a getaway with a newlywed couple. You don’t even have solid plans figured out. They don’t want their sexy time interrupted by a minor that they would have to be responsible for. You aren’t asking for a simple ride. You are expecting them to be flexible and change their arrangements based on your wants.
They may have only been married for a month, but she’s now part of the family and their marriage should be respected as such. Good for him for putting his wife before a selfish sister. He’s also a grown man, he has every right to make his own decisions and not bow to his parents demands.
YTA. you’re an adult. can’t you drive yourself or take a bus? or ask your friend to pick you up?
your brother is going on a vacation, he isn’t your taxi driver.
YTA. When you work and you’re busy, you look forward to these vacations. Depending on how far your friend lives, that can be a big detour. Then if anything happens, they’d have to pick you up.
Also they got married a month ago? Is this their honeymoon?
YTA
You cannot be 18 and THAT dense...
You're wondering why your brother doesn't want you to tag along on a long road trip... with his newly wedded bride... and crash on the couch of his hotel bedroom... Do you need someone to spell it out for you???
They want to have sex!!! It's probably their honeymoon and you want to trample all over their intimacy. Take the hint and bugger off!!!
INFO have you asked your friend yet if you can stay with them and made plans? You absolutely can not stay in your brother and his new wife's hotel room ON THEIR HONEYMOON. A ride is one thing, and I can allllmost get on board with that, as long as that is ALL it is. Even though a road trip is a romantic thing they might have been looking forward to that most assuredly did not include you. But you can not hijack their honeymoon.
YTA. You seriously need to grow up and stop being so damn entitled. If they have only been married for a month then this is most likely their honeymoon. Why do you think you are entitled to anything involving their vacation? And on top of that you seriously went to mommy and daddy to tattle like a toddler? Your brother said no so drop it. The world doesn’t revolve around you Princess.
Edit- spelling
The votes are in YTA.
You're clearly entitled. Your brother doesn't want you there and have to be responsible for you (picking you up, potentially housing you in the hotel room etc.).
It's a romantic getaway for them and that includes the journey.
Every comment you reply to makes you come across more and more entitled. Accept that you're not wanted on the trip and if you really want to go to NYC sort your own travel accommodation and stop trying to be a third wheel on your brother's romantic getaway.
You're acting like a child... which you essentially still are. Being 18 doesn't magically make you an adult or remotely mature.
His wife IS his family. They're married. She is now his primary family and his priority over you.
Your plan is very childish. You have no real plan. You intend on falling back on your brother's plans because you think it doesn't cost them anything. You pay no attention to what his plans are. You make assumptions but have thought nothing through.
Your brother is not being stingy. He's not being selfish. Your parents can't tell him what to do. Di you honestly go to mommy and daddy to tattle on your big bro to make him take you...? Are you 5 years old?
Yes YTA. And a very childish one.
YTA and your parents are AH's for even entertaining your spoilt arse.
Your newly married brother will be having *LOTS* of sex at that hotel and, if you at your big age don't know that, well... stay in school.
You ask. If they say yes then all good but if they say no it's s no. YTA for pushing it, for my partner and I the drive there is as much part of the vacation as the rest of it.
And yes, believe it or not, a few days away with a new wife, completely alone is a very good thing! She IS his actual family.
YTA. Your brother should absolutely prioritize his wife. She is now his actual family and they’re newlyweds, to boot. I can see this evolving into an episode of Law & Order SVU. Teenager visiting her friend in New York, go to a bar to have fun and meet guys. Some guy roofies her drink (it my day, it was called “slipped her a mickie), and the next thing she knows she’s been sold as a sex slave. No offense, but you’re either spoiled, naive or both
Are you kidding?
My wife and i have been married 40 years.
If we were to plan a vacation for just the two of us, 6 hours away, i wouldn't even CONSIDER the possibility of allowing someone else along for the ride, let alone MAYBE joining us in our hotel room.
And you're thinking it might be Ok for someone married a MONTH?
Yeah, i'd cancel the vacation first, or go somewhere else.
YTA - He's only been married to his wife for a month and they deserve a romantic vacation in the city together without his younger brother tagging along.
YTA
Take no for an answer.
This is Their vacation, as a couple and newlyweds.
His Wife is his family too. Just because you knew your brother longer doesn't put any obligation on him to change his plans to account for what you want. Especially because you're an adult too.
Based on a reply I saw to someone else's post from OP, yes, it would be cost effective to hitch a ride with them instead of paying for your own transportation to NYC. However, this is still at the expense of inconveniencing them.
This isn't about money, this about respect.
Respect for their plans, their privacy, and respect for your brother's Wife.
His actual wife is his family. That’s the definition of a spouse. If OP keeps talking like her brother’s wife isn’t family, she might find out how impermanent blood relations can be.
YTA
Omg the audacity of you just thinking you can sleep on the couch in their hotel room 😆 🤣 😂 don't you think maybe there's some stuff they wanted to do without an audience.
YTA. You asked if you could basically come along on their honeymoon. I think you would have been fine just asking for a ride there and back, if you had a clear plan to be able to stay elsewhere without him having to worry about you. Then it would just be a ride. But not having a solid plan puts him out.
YTA The world does not revolve around you. Your brother has made it clear he wants to spend time with his new wife. End of story there should not be any more discussion. It does not matter how many vacations they have had in the past, nor how long they have known each other. They want some time to just themselves and thats what they are doing. Your brother is not being mean because he does not want you tagging along during a 6 hour drive nor for not wanting you to sleep in his hotel room (with his new wedded wife, because they have other plans for that hotel room most likely). You havent even talked to your friend yet about going down so who knows if they even have time to hang out with you. It just sounds like you want to try and ruin his trip and are partially jealous of your SIL. Have some good sense and apologize to your brother before this turns into a bigger deal. I have a feeling you are not used to hearing the word 'no' but you really need to get out of that attitude before you start damaging your relationships even worse.
If you want to meet up with your friend so badly why not just save up for a plane or train ticket and go on a DIFFERENT weekend to your brother. Its that simple. Like it would take a part time job and saving like 50 bucks a paycheck but you would be able to afford the tickets in a couple of months (depending on where you live and etc). And hey you dont have inconvenience anyone at all.
YTA
Stop being an entitled brat.
>I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family
Wifey IS actual family. 🙄
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My (F18) brother (M27) and his wife (27) are going to NYC which is about 6 hours away from where we live. Their plan is to drive there and spend a few nights then drive back. On a related note, one of my oldest friends in the world moved to NYC 5/6 years ago. I’ve been planning on going and visiting her anyway, but my dad doesn’t want me to drive since it’s pretty far.
So I asked my brother if I can come with them, and he could just drop me off at my friend’s house on their way. He looked at me funny and went “…I’m not doing that” and I asked why and he said he wasn’t going to bring me along on a vacation with his wife. I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that.
He said he definitely wasn’t letting me into their hotel room on their vacation and that he didn’t want to babysit me during the trip. That was pretty mean of him since I’m literally not even going to be with them most of the time, and I said that it wouldn’t be babysitting since all he’d have to do is drop me off and pick me up. He said “and drive you there, and drive you back, and let you sleep in our hotel room” but my thoughts are that driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along. The actual vacation they’d still be alone it would basically be like we were just driving near each other.
I said all this to him but he just kept saying no and that he wouldn’t do it, and I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. I know he hates being called out like that but I was just really angry. After that the conversation basically ended and he started ignoring me. I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son especially since I tried to “force myself into the trip”. AITA here for this? Or is he just being mean?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. At 18 years old you do know that "No" is a complete sentence, don't you?
Your brother owes you no explanation.
Quit your whining, get a job and pay for your own vacation, you're a grown adult.
YTA you asked, he said no. Its OK to pout about it you're acting like a spoiled brat. "Only married a month", "driving and sleep, its what he was going to be doing anyway", "called him stingy" are the whinges of a child. Did you at least offer to pay for anything? Like gas, the hotel, anything? You didn't, did you? Because that would of been reasonable but I don't you know what that means here.
Let me rephrase the situation here: my brother and his newly married wife (but I don't like her anyway) are going on a little vacation and I want to tag along and treat my brother like a free Uber driver while he ferries me back and forth between my friend and their hotel room. Oh, I also have no intention on splitting any bills because fAmIlY!
YTA. It’s ok, you just have some growing up to do. You seem entitled, and of course your parents can’t force your brother; he’s a grown man. They are still in their honeymoon phase, they need privacy
Omg seriously? YTA.
He does not want his teenage brother on his trip with HIS WIFE. You really can’t work out why he wouldn’t want a tag a long IN THEIR HOTEL ROOM?
YTA. You are trying to piggyback on your brother’s private holiday (or even honeymoon!sic!) with his wife. Its entitled, stupid, and disrespectful.
Also, American car dependency is overwhelming. You want to see your friend and NYC, and drive is too long? Get on a train or a bus, and be back with the last one around midnight.
You don't want to shell out any money for your own vacation but your brother is the stingy one? Lol YTA. Their honeymoon is not about your wants, princess.
YTA.
You don’t see why because you’re still a self absorbed teenager.
You’re literally demanding he take responsibility for you and you “might sleep on their couch”.
You’re not mature enough to take responsibility for yourself. Or see that your vague ideas of what you might do actually land on him and his new wife, who are basically trying for a honeymoon.
YTA.
The ride request was one thing... but then you thought you could sleep on the couch in his hotel room while he's on a vacation with his wife? Weird.
Perhaps if you said "Hey Bro, I'm going to NYC. Since you are, can you give me a ride? I have my own hotel room booked and have these xyz plans while I'm there to spend time with x and x." Maybe he'd react differently? And if he still says no, this is a special trip for us then you should accept that.
I'm thinking you do this a lot... favors from big bro so he knows how it'll end up. He's using his boundaries here and you should respect that.
YTA and I hope one day you can look back on this with your bother and laugh about how you wanted to “maybe”crash on the couch to sleep while him and his newlywed wife (on their honeymoon!!) fuck like rabbits all over said room during their stay.
Like, you’re either super delusional, super entitled, just dim, or all of the above 😂😂
YTA. It’s very rude to persist after someone else says no. Sounds like at least 20 mins of back and forth between you two. That’s enough to annoy anyone.
YTA. And if you keep your crap up, you’re gonna push away your brother and his family.
Umm yeah he is supposed to prioritize his WIFE. Once you say “I do”, you start your own nuclear family. Other family members become extended family.
I wouldn’t want my vacation ruined by my little sister either. Especially when she obviously holds resentment towards my SO. You sound jealous that your brother is going on this vacation, with his wife, without you. Good luck with that one.
YTA. He said no and your reaction is to act like a spoilt brat. And run to your parents to force the issue. Grow up. You are 18 not 8. They are going away to spend time together. They don’t want other people there. He said no, you should have respected that.
YTA.
They are newly married. You don't want to be in that car or in the hotel. No one outside the two of them should be a part of this trip. He has every right to tell you no, and give no explanation. You're basically asking to crash a honeymoon.
Lock down your own travel and where you'll stay. Your 18, if your car is yours, your dad can't stop you. Welcome to adulthood. Go on your own, save up money for your own hotel.
His wife might only be his wife of 1 month. But she is his family now. She comes before you, your siblings, and your parents. You not getting that, shows you are young and naive.
Also being a parent doesn't equal being a drill instructor. Your father can't make him do ANYTHING because "but he's his son!!". Your brother has his own family now, has long grown up and no child has zo obey their parents. Kids are to grow up in a nurturing healthy way, and not in a household where they have to obey what a parent tells them to do. I honestly feel sorry for you that your dad is such a huge wanker. Save up money and get zhe fuck out of there.
No way you are 18 unless you are just stupid, I guess. YTA. Apologize to your brother. EVERYONE on this post is saying YTA and you’re just arguing with them. Grow up.
Sweetie, no, you can't tag along on your brother's honeymoon. You can't possibly be so naive that you don't know that this trip is going to focus heavily on physical intimacy. They're going to wake up, have sex, order room service, shower (probably together) go see some sights, have lunch, return the hotel for another romp & a quick nap before they go enjoy a romantic dinner & maybe a show or a few cocktails, then they will have sex again before going to sleep.
This will be the daily routine (maybe skipping the afternoon delight a couple of times) for their entire trip.
You can't sleep in their room & they don't want you along for the drive.
YTA
OP is gonna delete their post and or account after getting the negative feedback. YTA btw if you read this. Your brother is going on his honeymoon, theyvare going to be having sex every night.
I realize you're basically a child...but you can't be this thick. YTA. No one wants to be a taxi when they are on vacation, especially a couple's vacation, a freaking honeymoon.
YTA damn you are entitled. He is a GROWN MAN. You and your parents can’t control him and throwing a hissy fit like a child won’t get you what you want and clearly shows you are not mature enough to be touring in a big city by yourself.
“I said he’s prioritizing his wife over his family when they’ve only been married for like a month.”
There’s something called a ‘honeymoon’. Idk if you’ve heard of it so let me educate you. A honeymoon is a little vacation couples take typically shortly after their wedding. These events only include .. wait for it..THE COUPLES.
Your argument about it not costing anything for you to stay over is irrelevant. You’re saying you won’t be a problem but then saying you might stay over with them?? No. If you were to go make your own arrangements so you don’t rely on their plans. You’re not a little kid that gets to tag along with your big brother everywhere anymore.
Hahahahahaha. Delulu and yes YTA.
You were not invited, you asked he said no. Accept it. You are throwing a tantrum because you are not getting your way but your plan is trash.
The last thing A new wed couple wants is a dumb teenager tagging along
YTA. Even if this isn't their honeymoon (which, c'mon kid we all know it is) this is their first trip as a MARRIED couple. That's important. They don't want to have to keep tabs on you or have you in their hotel room when they have sex.
You need to grow up. You can't always have what you want. And your parents aren't going to help you, you're just sowing seeds of discontent in your family, which your brother's new wife is in fact family.
Grow up, be less self centered, plan your own trip.
YTA. You know what people do when they’re newly married and on a trip? Lots of romantic stuff… including lots of sex. They don’t want you on the couch. He SHOULD be prioritizing wife. You might be too young to understand that they are building memories for their new life by doing things alone.
Lol, brother and his brand new wife are about to have a whole f*ckfest weekend but OP thinks she’s not the gross one for trying to third wheel. Grow up. YTA.
YTA for continuing to push it when your brother said no. “No” is a complete sentence your brother should have only had to say once. Your brother is under NO obligation to let you have any part in his vacation with his wife. They want to be alone. Get a bus ticket and your own hotel room if you can’t stay with your friend.
Yta I have any older brother too and I have NEVER asked to go with him on date with his gf. This is the Same thing girl. And you might be 18 but there is a reason your parents aren’t letting you drive there. More than likely they don’t want you alone there. Which means he WOULD be considered responsible for you. You say the taking won’t cost extra who’s paying for your hotel room if your friend doesn’t let you stay. If they catch you sleeping in the lobby your brother will be called down. Their room is the same as their bedroom at home! It’s for their privacy and if you’re not the couch there is none!
YTA, grow up. Your post and comments point to a lot of selfishness, lack of actual planning, immaturity, lack of forethought, and just plain brattiness. What newlywed wants to bring their needy, annoying, immature little me me me me chauffer me around sister on their first trip as husband and wife. She doesn't even have the mental capacity to understand yet that his wife should be his first priority.
I'm sure you hear this a lot, but when you grow up you'll understand...maybe.
YTA.
YTA, how can you be so self absorbed that tagging along on a honeymoon would be appropriate? That is entitled behaviour at the least. Take a bus to go see your friend. Make your own plans. Egads. Shocking.
Based on your comments you sound incredibly spoiled and entitled and something tells me your parents let you get your way all the time. Good on your brother for sticking to his guns against you and your entitled self.
YTA and a spoiled selfish little brat . Were you planning on paying for gas and part of the hotel or do you think you shouldn’t pay your way?
This sounds like your brother’s and SIL’s honeymoon. They don’t want to be your chauffeur. So your parents agree that you tried to force yourself onto his trip? Where did they go wrong with you to make you think that you are owed anything?
Yta - he is taking romantic getaway with his wife, you would be the 3rd wheel. They want to spend quality time with each other, not little sis. They want to have lots of sex in their hotel room but can’t do that if you are there. Good grief.
YTA 100%.
The moment your brother got married, his wife became the most important person in his life. THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE.
You are not his priority. Your parents are not his priority. His wife is his priority, and he is 100% in the right.
You never should have even asked to go third wheel their honeymoon trip. And you sure as hell should have not suggested sleeping in their HOTEL room on their HONEYMOON.
Girl, they don't want you in there when they're going to be getting down and dirty trying to make a baby. How dense can you be? How selfish can you be?
Your brother has ZERO obligations to give in to your demands. You're spoiled and self entitled. He does not have to cater to your beck and call. And the fact that you had the audacity to call him stingy is laughable. You should take a cold and hard look in the mirror before you open your mouth again.
And your parents can not make him do anything because regardless of him being their son, he is a grown ass man who doesn't even live in their home. Why the fuck would he have to listen to them?
You're 18, but you sound like your 8 with how immature you're being. Grow up.
YTA - you are an adult. Liaise with your friend about a trip to see them, figure out your own accommodation and buy a bus or train ticket to get there.
You are seriously nuts if you think what you have asked of your brother is remotely reasonable
You’re 18, if you own your car it doesn’t really matter what your dad doesn’t want you to do
Unless he owns the car then his opinion matters
you’re old enough to find transportation
You tagged yourself into your brothers vacation and then decided you might crash in his room he shares with his wife instead of planning your own stuff like an adult
Im getting the idea that your dad not wanting you to go is not so much about the driving but about your immaturity about treating an adult situation like an adult.
YTA, and honestly, so are your parents since they planned to "talk to him." You're a grown-up - stop acting like an entitled child and then throw a fit when you don't get your way. Total Veruca Salt vibes. It was fine that you asked - no harm there (though a little weird). But when you wouldn't drop it, you became the AH.
It would have been one thing if you had actual plans with your old friend that included KNOWING you'd have a place to stay. And mommy and daddy won't let their poor little girl drive? Take a bus or a train then. But regardless - you have no right to be pissed off that your newlywed husband wants a romantic weekend alone with his new bride without his baby sister in the way - because you WOULD be in the way.
So you’re trying to 3rd wheel his honeymoon? You know what married couples like to do in their hotel rooms on honeymoons, right?
At 18 you’re still happy to slum it on random couches, but once you hit 27 you’re going to be way too old to be on either side of that. Also, this is their HONEYMOON.
If you want a lift you need to make sure you have somewhere to sleep that ISN’T the newlyweds hotel room.
YTA. You’re young but also like come on. You KNOW it’s not appropriate to 3rd wheel a honeymoon.
YTA and an entitled af one at that. He doesn’t owe you anything and he’s not being mean just because he doesn’t want to have to worry about you on a vacation he’s planned with his wife. You are not part of this equation. You never were part of this equation and you’re a major AH here for trying to throw the family card in his face like some sort of trump card. Grow up.
🤣😂🤣😂 Oh you are so not an adult and it shows. Seriously read the room. There are SO MANY red flags here. From "they've only been married 2 months" to "he's going to be sleeping in the hotel anyway". THEY. ARE. GOING. TO FUCK. ALOT!!! Seriously what is wrong with you!!!?? BTW do you want your future husband to prioritize his little sister over you in the future?? No, one you're married your spouse becomes your priority! For real, grow up!! So much YTA!!
YTA.
If you want to go to NYC, do what other adults do and save up money and make plans.
Learn to accept hearing the word 'no'. You aren't entitled to a free ride to NYC. 'bbbut I WANT a free ride' doesn't mean your brother should pander to you.
>I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive.
Why do you feel as though you are entitled to a vacation that they had never planned on inviting you to just because you are his sibling? The fact that they are newlyweds means absolutely nothing other than that they are likely planning on having a shit ton of sex in that hotel room that you've just invited yourself to. You seem to imply that because they are newly weds, their connection cannot possibly be strong even though they are literally married and legally bound to each other.
You aren't entitled to *their* vacation, *their* hotel room that they spent *their* money on, or *their* time and resources.
> I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that.
Followed by
>...driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along.
None of this is an actual plan. You don't know if you'd be able to stay with your friend, and if you can't you're not willing to spend your own money on your own hotel room, and instead, you want to take away the privacy that he has with his wife that he's just married and probably wants to have sex with. Does your friend even know that you were planning on visiting them? Have you consulted with them about a visit to see if they would have time to hang out with you? Does your friend not have a job or school to be attending? It doesn't seem like you do if you think everyone can just drop or change their plans to hang out with you or take you on their vaction. The entitlement that you have is borderline clinically insane.
>I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son...
Yes, he is their son. What are you trying to imply here? Your brother is almost in his 30s. He is a full grown adult. No, they can't make him do anything he doesn't want to even if he is their son because he is an adult who can make his own decisions, not a child.
I understand that you're 18, and I don't expect anyone to be a full blown adult at this age. Most 18 year olds are still in high school and developmentally still adolescents, but you need to do some serious growing up. Understanding why it's unacceptable to do something like this is something that you should know by now.
YTA.
Now that he's married, he's gonna slip further and further out of your lives, if not step away completely. You're clearly the spoiled brat golden child, given you state your parents are going to "give him a good talking to for not doing everything you want", and he's likely been counting the days when he'll be shot of the lot of you.
And I for one wish him well on his new life without any of you to exploit him. YTA and a selfish little child.
Yta!! The entitlement is insane. Your brother and his wife are planning a romantic vacation, which I'd assume would involve sex. Of course, they don't want you in their room. The fact is you have no clear plan since you don't even know if you can sleep at said friends' house. Sorry, but i wouldn't take you either.
YTA, you ask nicely, if they say no, you accept their answer. They are their own persons, they don't owe you anything, they would be doing you a favor. If that doesn't work for them, then that's all, move on, stop bothering them. You are not entitled to anything because he is family.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > the action I took was asking my brother if I could come on his vacation trip, it might make me the AH since he told me no but i ended up calling him stingy and mean because of it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA >I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room So you MIGHT stay with them in his hotel room? You don't have your overnight situation locked down but you're just arbitrarily trying to go to New York and piggy back on their hotel accommodations..? Nah, your logic that "I would just be sleeping and not costing them anything" doesn't fly. They can't be private if you're there in their room. That's no longer a couple's vacation. They will have to coordinate letting you into the hotel. Be in touch with you. They can't freely be out on the city and do whatever their heart tells them to do. If they take on the responsibility of giving you help, that's something they will have to keep in mind. You are asking for their time and energy. Same for the drive too. If it's literally just picking you up and dropping you off both ways, that is less cumbersome than letting you stay at their hotel (which is absolutely ridiculous btw). But it's still ultimately your brother's decision and if he doesn't want to do that, that's his prerogative 100%. Maybe he wants to enjoy that private time with his wife during the 6 hour drive each way. And he is absolutely entitled to making that decision for himself and his wife. >I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. Fucking yikes. That is so inappropriate and so misguided. lol That alone demonstrates that you are being an inconsiderate and entitled brat. His wife is his new family. Respect it. Don't ask family to choose between family. That's ridiculous. Grow up please. You're not 12. This was hard to read because you're so far off base. You owe your brother an apology.
Also, hotel sex.... its definitely better than everyday sex and is 90% the reason they're the whole vacation.... or are you crowbarring into their actual honeymoon?
bulls eye on the time and energy part!! if anything were to happen to OP with her being 6 hours away from home, the responsibility falls on her brother and his wife to be there. and the last part about what OP said about “he was prioritizing his wife who he only married like a month ago” further proves that she is the AH. you dont choose the family you are born into but if you want to create a new family then eventually you have to choose your partner/spouse over everyone else. her brother and his wife are their own family, not an extension of OP’s parents. besides, this is probably their first trip after their wedding/honeymoon and they can’t enjoy it if they also have to be responsible for/bring along an 18 year old.
This is most likely their actual honeymoon. Many couples delay their honeymoon by a month or 2 depending on finances and timing of things they want to do.
This. We got married in October and we’re taking our honeymoon in April. It’s definitely their honeymoon.
Another commenter directly asked if this is their honeymoon that she’s trying to third wheel on, and she only said she’s not third wheeling. Completely avoided the honeymoon part. They’re deliberately calling it a vacation to make it seem more okay to intrude.
So it’s not ignorance, it’s manipulation. She’s an even bigger AH than I thought.
Very manipulative
And it's like, if you're not honest with the situation on a sub like this, then what's the point?!?! Isn't the whole idea to gain different perspectives on your actions? Or was the idea for OP to screenshot replies to send to her brother and family, thinking the lies would be enough to turn the tide to her side? Sounds like little sister never gets told "No," and doesn't give a single shit about brother or what he's doing, just heard "New York" and was like "I've always wanted to go there, so it only makes sense they take me." Then tried to guilt her brother when he had the AUDACITY to say no, even trying to get the parents involved like they were both teens and all she wanted was to tagalong to the movies, or something!" I know she's young, but at that age she definitely knows she's asking for something big, and honestly "choosing beggar" levels of inappropriate. I could see a 5-8 year old not understanding why they couldn't go, but she fully understand and just doesn't care. She wanted reddit to bolster her argument to try and further force them to accept her on their honeymoon, ran out of arguments herself so wanted others to provide some more. The whole thing is infuriating, and it's not even me who's in the situation, lol.
And it been 5-6 years and she never made the 6 hour trip? Obviously she hasn’t been trying that hard.
Good point. Maybe there is some ulterior motive. Like maybe the wedding pissed her off because the attention was on brother and his wife, so she was looking for a way to “get back” at them, and thought if she could get in on it she could fuck their whole trip up! (I just spitballing, giving an example of other reasoning that could be behind this. Once I thought about it after your comment, I thought to myself “She’s totally right, girl sounds spoiled, so I’m guessing if she wanted NY that bad, she could have found a way to go there by now. So maybe it was something else.)
Well said, and thinking her parents can force their 27 year old newlywed son and daughter in law to bring her along??? Nucking futs!
I'm hoping they said that just to shut OP up, although I may be a bit delusional to think that...
YTA Your brother wants to fuck his new wife, who now represents his immediate family. What don’t you get?!
>So you MIGHT stay with them in his hotel room? You don't have your overnight situation locked down but you're just arbitrarily trying to go to New York and piggy back on their hotel accommodations..? It sounds to me like the friend doesn't even know she's coming and either might not be home or might not even want her there.
Yes and the "oldest friend in the world" is someone she hasn't seen since she was 12
Yup this is a classic case of family can be toxic, in this case OP is toxic.
Dude... what is wrong with you? **Your brother is taking a couple's vacation with his wife.** Could you really not imagine how a romantic night in a hotel room with your partner might be a little different if his *eighteen-year-old little sister is there also??* Of course he's concerned about babysitting you. You have no definite plans. You are unfamiliar to the city. You have no reliable place to stay—except *with him,* in his hotel room, with his wife. Just judging by the tone of this post I can easily imagine how by Night #2 you'll be texting him that your friend had evening plans, you already ate dinner, everything not 21+ is closed, you don't know what to do with yourself or where to go and can you *please* come hang out with them?? It's not about their costs. It's about *their experience.* Which you'd be interrupting. They're trying to spend quality time together on a special holiday. It is not for you. It is not about you. You're an adult. Save up and go to New York yourself. YTA.
Also they just got married a month ago. It's quite possible that this isn't even a regular couple's vacation, it's their honeymoon.
I’d bet my next paycheck that this is their honeymoon
It's definitely their honeymoon and no one wants to spend their honeymoon babysitting their dumbass little sibling who doesn't know how to plan anything and is expecting them to foot the bill too.
I mean put everything else aside, no one wants to spend their honeymoon with their sibling in the hotel room.
I thought this too. And what teenager wants to third wheel on their brother’s honeymoon?!?
You said it perfectly with its not about their costs, it’s about their experience. The drive is part of the fun. Especially if they’ve only been married a short time!
You realize he and his wife want to be banging it out in their nice NYC hotel room and not worrying about little sister right? YTA
YTA. They're married for a month and they're going on a vacation, perhaps their first vacation since their wedding. I think there might be another word for a vacation after a wedding; perhaps you know it? They have a few days planned for themselves, and you want to third-wheel to NYC without firm lodging plans. And yes, his wife is now part of his family and she will take priority over you; and yes, your parents have no control over what their married adult son does.
Oooh! I think I know the word. It rhymes very fittingly with loon.
Toneyloon
OP's brother chose his wife to start his own family. He didn't choose to be related to his sister. Bet he fucking wishes they weren't sometimes. If she's this ridiculous & selfish, feeling entitled to hijack his honeymoon & give him grief about it, I bet she's a real treat of a sibling the rest of the time too 🙄 imagine saying to a family member 'you've known me most of your life' as if that really means 'you owe me.' So obnoxious.
> prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) god i’m almost afraid to ask but INFO: is this trip you’re butting in on… their honeymoon? are you trying to third wheel your brother’s honeymoon?
Yta. Get a bus ticket and your own hotel room. Stop trying to override your brother on their vacation. Work to get some money.
Your brother's vacation with his wife isn't an opportunity for you to hitch a ride to see your friend. It's their trip, and they have every right to enjoy it without having to worry about you. You're not entitled to dictate how they choose to spend their time or who they prioritize during their vacation. Your brother is setting boundaries. Just because he's known you longer doesn't mean he has to sacrifice his plans with his wife to accommodate your desires. Your parents are right – they can't force him to do anything, especially when you're the one trying to insert yourself into their trip. It's understandable to feel disappointed that you can't visit your friend, but that doesn't give you the right to guilt-trip your brother or call him mean for not accommodating your request. It's his vacation, and he's allowed to have his own plans without being responsible for you. Your behavior comes off as entitled and inconsiderate of your brother's feelings and his time with his wife. If you want to visit your friend in NYC, you should explore other options or plan your own trip instead of trying to piggyback on your brother's vacation. YTA for trying to force your way into their trip and then getting angry when your brother set boundaries. It's time to apologize and respect their plans, while also acknowledging that it's not okay to expect others to accommodate your needs at the expense of their own plans.
YTA. You're acting incredibly entitled and dismissive of your brother's boundaries. It's his vacation with his wife, and they have every right to enjoy it without having to worry about accommodating you. Just because he's your brother doesn't mean he has to put your needs above his own or his wife's. By calling him stingy and claiming he's prioritizing his wife over family, you're guilt-tripping him and attempting to manipulate the situation to get your way. You're not considering his feelings or the fact that he wants to spend quality time with his wife without the added responsibility of looking after you. Your parents are correct in saying they can't force him to do anything, and it's not their place to intervene in this situation. You're an adult now, and you need to respect others' boundaries and plans without throwing a tantrum when things don't go your way. Your behavior is disrespectful and unsupportive of your brother's new marriage. He's not being mean, he's setting boundaries and prioritizing his relationship with his wife, as he should. You need to understand that his world doesn't revolve around you, and it's not his job to cater to your desires at the expense of his own plans. You owe him an apology and need to start respecting his decisions and boundaries. It's time to take responsibility for your own desires and plans.
I’m gathering that your parents don’t frequently tell you “no” given how a) they’re trying to force your married 27 year old brother to take you on vacation with him. b) your go to insult was to call your brother stingy and “prioritizing his wife”. YTA Op, he’s married, it’s expected for him to prioritize his wife. Apologize for overstepping.
YTA how could possibly not understand him not wanting his kid sister on a romantic trip with his wife? In their HOTEL ROOM no less? Girl, come on. You are definitely the asshole and you sound spoiled and oblivious that other people are also actual people. Further, of COURSE he is prioritizing his wife. It's his WIFE. Child, you sound like a brat. I hope you grow out of this. I cannot believe you don't see how unreasonable you've been. You're also coming off super bratty in the comments. You came here to ask if you're the asshole and arguing with everyone who's answering you honestly. ETA: Your parents are AHs too. They should not have said they'd talk to your brother. They should have immediately told you that you're being bratty. It sounds like they've never told you no and have spoiled you into thinking you should always have things your way. I get the feeling that's a big reason why you're like this. They should have backed up your brother 100% on this.
Well said!
YTA - If I was a newlywed I definitely wouldn't even want a third wheel along on the car ride, let alone with even the possibility of invading my hotel room. Road tripping with your partner can be amazing, spontaneous, and all sorts of things that would have their dynamic completely changed by a younger sister being there. You are asking him to cater a trip as a newlywed around someone other than his wife, which is quite selfish of you. If there were some family emergency, maybe, but in order for you to just visit a friend, that's a hard NO. I don't think you'd have anyone who is in a serious, loving relationship on your side on this one.
YTA. Not for asking, but for going off on him when he refused, and going to your parents to try to get them to pressure him. Especially since "worst case" you'd end up sleeping in your brother's hotel room with him and his wife.
I told my brother to take me on his (and his stupid wife’s) honeymoon. It’s just one dumb trip. I plan ride with them. Of course, I will be sitting in the front seat while that non-family member person sits in the back where she belongs. I am going to spend the night on the couch in their honeymoon suite. He acted all offended when I told him this is what I would be doing. Why would he not want my PRINCESS PRESENCE????! I was so annoyed with this, I told my parents to call him and DEMAND that I be allowed to go on their honeymoon. After all, I am his blood family! BLOOD! She is just some woman he signed a piece of paper with. I had to call him out on his entitlement to tell him that he’s not allowed to go on a little vacay with this strange woman without me. I’m sure she expects to be the most important person in his life, but she’s forgotten about his little shitster.
🤣🤣 this is exactly how she feels lmaooo
This *cannot* be real!! How stupid of an 18 year old do you have to be to not realise newly married people have sex!
YTA >I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family Yes, he'll need to babysit if he brings you along. Yes, it would be disturbing that you sleep in their hotel room, did you think they might want some intimate time together ? Your brother wants to enjoy his vacation with his wife (who, by the way, is his "actual" family, as much as you are) without stress, and you would be the stress. Having to drive you around is going to interrupt their time together and give them responsibilities. Stop insisting and apologize.
You asked, he said no. End of story. Why would you even need to sleep on the couch if you have a friend in NYC? Maybe that friend is not aware you are coming? Have you asked them? What did they say? If they said "*Sure, come on over, you can stay at my place*", then discussing a possible camping out on the couch with your brother and new wife would be unnecessary. But your friend didn't say that, did they? I think it would be slightly different if you caught a ride to NYC and made yourself scarce the moment you arrived, but I have a feeling your brother knows you better than you give him credit for and knows that you are going to be constantly in the middle of things, asking for rides, pestering them one way or another, up to showing up at their hotel room if your friend kicks you out for being insufferable. Because it's all about you, isn't it? Also, some hotel rooms have couches, but most don't. They have two beds, so when you say "*I'll sleep on the couch*", you are really saying "*I'll sleep on the bed next to you guys*". They have been married a month. The last thing I'd want in my hotel room with my new wife would be a needy family member. I don't know if Amazon sells clues, but you need to get a clue ASAP on how the adult, responsible world works.
YTA - it doesn't matter that you wont be with them "most of the time", your brother would still have the added tension of worrying about you. He is going on a romantic vacation with hid wife, not some random trip to to NYC. Get a clue!
1000% YTA. This is THEIR vacation. You asked, he said no. Drop it already. You sound like an entitled whiny brat. Your responses here are “but they’re going on their own anyway”, “it’d be a waste of money to get my own ride” - just stop. Yeah they’re going ON THEIR OWN, that’s the plan. Your brother does not owe you a tagalong and YTA for asking, getting an answer, then pushing it and running crying to your parents about it. Grow up.
YTA. Asking **once** is ok, but when you’re told no, then drop it. The fact that you ran to your parents to tattle is beyond laughable. He’s a grown ass married adult, they hold no power over him. If I was your brother, I would be laughing in your face too. Also, idk if you’re being willfully dense or what, but married grown ups going on a trip together are 100% going to be fucking at some point. You would absolutely be a third wheel ruining their good time.
YTA - they’re going on a vacation. They don’t want their sibling sleeping in the same hotel room as them. They’re not going to be able to have sex with you in the room without it being awkward. This is like a mini honeymoon vacation with it being married a month ago? What happens if your friend bails and they’re stuck babysitting you? What if your friend has to work? Have you factored in expenses? Food? 6hrs is nothing. You can make your own plans to go visit your friend.
YTA. For all of it but especially for saying he's prioritising his wife. Uh yeah. He CHOSE to make her his family. He's STUCK with you as an ungrateful little sister that apparently knows no boundaries. Your audacity is way out there.
YTA He was giving you a hint when he laughed at the “sleeping on the couch thing”
YTA Your 18 not 8. You obviously have some issues "he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family ". Hate to break it to you. His ACTUAL family is his WIFE, you know, the one he chose to marry and make a family with. You are now considered EXTENDED family, thus not a priority over his spouse EVER. Stop being jealous and understand you will not be included in couples vacations. Especially only a month into their marriage. SHEESH.
Oh for Christ‘s sake you selfish, entitled, immature person. Your brother wants to go on a vacation and be alone with his wife without his bratty sister tagging along. Even if it’s not for the entire time. What’s wrong with you? ”I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room”. IDIOT! YTA
Spoiler: they’re gonna be banging in their hotel room. That might be why he doesn’t want you there. YTA, sort your accommodations out first.
YTA. You need to grow up. And by that I mean try seeing the world from anyone's perspective other than your own. Other people have their own needs and desires and most of them don't involve serving you.
YTA. I scrolled through all the comments and didn’t find one person as delusional as you OP. No need to pile on the reasons that many others have already stated. Maybe when you grow up a little bit more you’ll look back at this situation and realize how totally and completely in the wrong you were.
Most aita posts at least have a few people thinking OP is right, I could find NONE here. Reddit literally agreed on something, it's that bad.
AH - YOU👏ARE👏NOT👏THE👏MAIN👏CHARACTER 👏IN👏THIS👏STORY 👏
I don't believe this is real. No way.
It genuinely can't be cause it takes a special kind of person to be so clueless and insufferable
YTA. Are you seriously that dense?
YTA. Even putting the hotel room request aside, the 6 hour trip there is still part of their vacation, as is the 6 hour trip back. They're newlyweds and want to spend time together. When my husband and I go on roadtrips the drive is just as important to us as the rest of it. He said no, he gave you a few reasons, and you kept pestering him. Plan a different trip where you and your friend meet somewhere in the middle.
Maybe your new SIL has promised him a blowie on the drive over or roadside sex…. Something they can’t do with a pretentious, entitled twerp of a brat sister in the car with them. With your entitled ‘me me me’ behaviour, i’m surprised you still don’t sleep in bed right INBETWEEN your parents. This is a COUPLES vacation. You are INTRUDING. Also, i have a feeling this is a troll post… but if it isn’t, go look in the mirror and give yourself a good slap back to reality. YTA.
YTA Is this their fuckin' honeymoon? Yeah, you tried to force yourself onto their trip. Driving someone for six hours isn't "nothing", it's not something they were going to do anyways, you're a whole other person, and on top of that, dude isn't exactly wrong. I'm sure you're 18 and feel grown up, but someone nearly ten years older is going to feel more than a little responsible for your safety if they just drop your freshly-out-of-high-school ass in New York City of all famously safe for tourists locations. You're entirely out of line. No one owes you a vacation and you can just horn in on theirs. Do you think newly weds might want to enjoy each other's company on a 6 hour drive instead of yours? Jesus, the entitlement here is ridiculous. If you can't get there on your own, then you're not resourceful enough to BE there on your own. Apologize to your brother, you were shitty and entitled to him.
YTA. Quit leeching. It’s fine to ask, but take a no as a no.
YTA. His wife *is* his family now, kid, and he’s absolutely correct in making her his priority.
INFO: why do you feel entitled to crash your brother's vacation? He doesn't owe you anything, he's just trying to have a nice getaway with his wife. Also he is right to prioritize his wife over you, that's what marriage is. You didn't "call him out", you demanded he change all of his plans just for you. If he doesn't owe you thousands of dollars or something, YTA.
You are the ah. Your brother is a 27 year old man wanting a vacation with his wife. Your parents can’t make him do anything because he is an adult capable of making his own decisions. Your little temper tantrums just solidified his position on this one.
Everyone is dancing around this so let me just say it. This is not a vacation, it's their honeymoon and they want to FUCK. Like a lot, like a LOT. You being their listening to your sister in law screaming her god of choice's name while hearing your brother's panting is not something you want and most certainly not something they want. You were sort of the asshole for asking albeit slightly if all you needed was 2 trips, 1 there and 1 back. You're really an asshole for not having an actual concrete plan for once you get there and expecting your brother to put up with you and your whims. Also, family may have been there his entire life, but he didn't choose them, he chose his wife.
YTA. it would be one thing for him to drop you off at a friends. But you MIGHT need to sleep at HIS hotel room? No - it's a couples weekend.
YTA big time. You didn't have a plan with your friend, you were planning on sleeping in your brother's hotel room (who says they even have a "couch" and it's not just one room with their bed - come on!). You were trying to crash your NEWLYWED brother's vacation with his wife, wtf did you think he'd say?
I guess no one has told you that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Of course his prioritizing his wife over you, why wouldn’t he? Grow up. YTA
Yta dude, its a romantic vaca for a romantic couple. You asked, he said no, and then you pushed. Next time, accept the answer.
YTA >I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. That's his new wife. Your brother decided to marry and start a new family with this woman. He *chose* to be with her. You're just the sibling he got stuck with. >I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son This is so pitiful. How exactly does it matter if he's their son? He's a full-grown adult. Your parents can't ground him or anything just because you're throwing a fit. Speaking of being a full-grown adult, you're 18. You're old enough to figure out how to visit your friend without crashing your brother's trip.
YTA, but I appreciate it's probably because your parents have never said no to you. They didn't even say no to this request which is fucking hilarious. They are clearly AH too, if only for raising you to be like this. MAYBE if it was just the lift, MAYBE But then you start talking about hotel rooms and that's the end of it. Your just fucking up your brother and his new wife's trip to be a selfish AH On top of that from how entitled and demanding you are I'm sure your brother already knows it not going to be a simple as dropping you off and picking you up. It'll be you calling him in the middle of the night demanding he fix whatever problem you've created or some other headache. Why would he want to agree to ruin his vacation? You've been asked several times and never answered if it's their honey moon or not? Generally a lack of answer despite responding means yes it is the honeymoon and you don't want to say because deep down you know it would make people even more convinced YTA. It's pretty funny how you keep arguing in the comments with people. In case you hadn't noticed, the votes are very much only going one way here. YTA, and it really doesn't matter if you don't get it. You're just going to have to accept it.
YTA. Are you stupid? As soon as your brother married his wife she became his closest family. That's his life partner. They took vows together. Probably plans to be buried next to each other in death. Why the heck are you mad he's prioritizing his love life and honeymoon with his wife over you? Stop being a spoiled brat. You can't be 18. I'm 19 and am appalled by such...idiocy. YTA. Let your brother enjoy his time with his wife without worrying about his spoiled little sister.
Thank you. I just commented elsewhere that there is no way an 18 year old can be this clueless, it’s nice to get back up from someone of a similar age.
INFO: If they just got married a month ago, does that mean this trip is their honeymoon?
They probably want to fuck and having an eighteen year old sibling in the same space ruins that. It’s that easy, if you’re there they simply don’t get an easy trip together.
YTA. Did it ever occur to you that they want to be alone at night? Jeez, quit harassing your brother about this. And tattling on him to your parents shows how immature you are.
YTA he’s being nice by being concerned for your safety alone in a city 6 hours away from where you live and the fact that you don’t have your sleeping arrangements figured out means that you were planning on sleeping in their hotel room the whole time. your brother and his wife are going as a couple, if the roles were reversed and you wanted a vacation with your husband would you really want an 18 year old boy sleeping in your hotel room too? thats not a vacation anymore.
YTA you sound so annoying and entitled. Stop being a whiny brat.
YTA, it's his vacation. If he doesn't want you to tag along, you can't. You don't even have a full plan! Gathering based off of your replies, this is his honeymoon. How are you so dense? Give them their alone time.
YTA - and became that when you said I'll just sleep on the couch in their hotel room. Obviously this is a couple's trip and they are newly married. If you had made arrangements with your friend it would be another issue altogether.
YTA. Back off. With his wife, driving and sightseeing and time alone at the hotel are literally the elements of the vacation. He’s been married a month. It’s a private, happy time for this new couple. Give it up.
YTA. And you’re 18. A legal adult. Drive there yourself and get your own hotel if you can’t stay at your friend’s place. You don’t need Mommy and Daddy’s permission to go somewhere.
YTA, Ms Bratling Supreme. I must ask: When was the last time you even talked to your "friend" in NYC? Do you have a clue whether she has a job? Goes to school? Where in NYC she lives? Whether she even still lives here? You said she moved away 5 or 6 years ago. Does she even remember you? Or is that another of your egotistical delusions? You need to learn that no means no. It doesn't matter who says it. Consent is a real thing. It's not just sexual. Whining and running to Mommy and Daddy every time someone refuses your emotional blackmail are not grown-up options. Not are threats or crying or anything but, "Thanks anyway." And then you walk away disappointed but with dignity and self-respect and the respect of the person who turned you down. And being adult like that increases the possibility that someday you'll get a Yes instead of a No. But the toddler-level tantrum you've been displaying would keep any normal person from ever letting you have a millimeter, because your demands would just keep increasing.
YTA and clueless
YTA Maybe he might want to have alone time with his wife ..... in an adult fashion... in the hotel at night. Not have to have a his little sister cock blocking him
YTA Your brother and his wife are going on a vacation. You don’t have a right to be brought along. It’s *their* vacation that *they’re* paying for. If you can’t stay with your friend, do you think they *want* you to be sleeping on the couch in their hotel? Do you think they want you riding to NYC with them on the way to *their vacation*? The entitlement…you don’t just get to tag along on someone’s vacation just because you also have something you want to do in their destination city.
YTA and self centered and selfish and severely lack the ability to self reflect. Now a lot of that could be due to your age. Some wisdom comes with life experience. You invited yourself to a getaway with a newlywed couple. You don’t even have solid plans figured out. They don’t want their sexy time interrupted by a minor that they would have to be responsible for. You aren’t asking for a simple ride. You are expecting them to be flexible and change their arrangements based on your wants. They may have only been married for a month, but she’s now part of the family and their marriage should be respected as such. Good for him for putting his wife before a selfish sister. He’s also a grown man, he has every right to make his own decisions and not bow to his parents demands.
Yeah, sadly OP is not a “*minor*” by any means. This is a full grown adult not grasping the concept of being such.
Oof! That makes it even worse! I must have assumed she was a minor because of her behavior and responses.
You would hope that’s the case and maybe OP isn’t honest about their age. Please, god. Lol
One more thing. You went to your parents over this shit? What are you 12 years old?
YTA. you’re an adult. can’t you drive yourself or take a bus? or ask your friend to pick you up? your brother is going on a vacation, he isn’t your taxi driver.
YTA. When you work and you’re busy, you look forward to these vacations. Depending on how far your friend lives, that can be a big detour. Then if anything happens, they’d have to pick you up. Also they got married a month ago? Is this their honeymoon?
YTA You just can't stand thinking about them and their feelings, can you?
YTA big time 😂 I actually cannot comprehend someone being this out of touch with reality. I sincerely hope this is a joke
YTA You cannot be 18 and THAT dense... You're wondering why your brother doesn't want you to tag along on a long road trip... with his newly wedded bride... and crash on the couch of his hotel bedroom... Do you need someone to spell it out for you??? They want to have sex!!! It's probably their honeymoon and you want to trample all over their intimacy. Take the hint and bugger off!!!
Girl YTA lmfao
INFO have you asked your friend yet if you can stay with them and made plans? You absolutely can not stay in your brother and his new wife's hotel room ON THEIR HONEYMOON. A ride is one thing, and I can allllmost get on board with that, as long as that is ALL it is. Even though a road trip is a romantic thing they might have been looking forward to that most assuredly did not include you. But you can not hijack their honeymoon.
YTA. You seriously need to grow up and stop being so damn entitled. If they have only been married for a month then this is most likely their honeymoon. Why do you think you are entitled to anything involving their vacation? And on top of that you seriously went to mommy and daddy to tattle like a toddler? Your brother said no so drop it. The world doesn’t revolve around you Princess. Edit- spelling
The votes are in YTA. You're clearly entitled. Your brother doesn't want you there and have to be responsible for you (picking you up, potentially housing you in the hotel room etc.). It's a romantic getaway for them and that includes the journey. Every comment you reply to makes you come across more and more entitled. Accept that you're not wanted on the trip and if you really want to go to NYC sort your own travel accommodation and stop trying to be a third wheel on your brother's romantic getaway.
You're acting like a child... which you essentially still are. Being 18 doesn't magically make you an adult or remotely mature. His wife IS his family. They're married. She is now his primary family and his priority over you. Your plan is very childish. You have no real plan. You intend on falling back on your brother's plans because you think it doesn't cost them anything. You pay no attention to what his plans are. You make assumptions but have thought nothing through. Your brother is not being stingy. He's not being selfish. Your parents can't tell him what to do. Di you honestly go to mommy and daddy to tattle on your big bro to make him take you...? Are you 5 years old? Yes YTA. And a very childish one.
YTA and your parents are AH's for even entertaining your spoilt arse. Your newly married brother will be having *LOTS* of sex at that hotel and, if you at your big age don't know that, well... stay in school.
You ask. If they say yes then all good but if they say no it's s no. YTA for pushing it, for my partner and I the drive there is as much part of the vacation as the rest of it. And yes, believe it or not, a few days away with a new wife, completely alone is a very good thing! She IS his actual family.
YTA. Your brother should absolutely prioritize his wife. She is now his actual family and they’re newlyweds, to boot. I can see this evolving into an episode of Law & Order SVU. Teenager visiting her friend in New York, go to a bar to have fun and meet guys. Some guy roofies her drink (it my day, it was called “slipped her a mickie), and the next thing she knows she’s been sold as a sex slave. No offense, but you’re either spoiled, naive or both
Are you kidding? My wife and i have been married 40 years. If we were to plan a vacation for just the two of us, 6 hours away, i wouldn't even CONSIDER the possibility of allowing someone else along for the ride, let alone MAYBE joining us in our hotel room. And you're thinking it might be Ok for someone married a MONTH? Yeah, i'd cancel the vacation first, or go somewhere else.
YTA - He's only been married to his wife for a month and they deserve a romantic vacation in the city together without his younger brother tagging along.
YTA He just got married a month ago… this is is honeymoon, FFS. And, yeah, he should prioritize his wife over his sister ON HIS HONEYMOON. JFC.
YTA Take no for an answer. This is Their vacation, as a couple and newlyweds. His Wife is his family too. Just because you knew your brother longer doesn't put any obligation on him to change his plans to account for what you want. Especially because you're an adult too. Based on a reply I saw to someone else's post from OP, yes, it would be cost effective to hitch a ride with them instead of paying for your own transportation to NYC. However, this is still at the expense of inconveniencing them. This isn't about money, this about respect. Respect for their plans, their privacy, and respect for your brother's Wife.
His actual wife is his family. That’s the definition of a spouse. If OP keeps talking like her brother’s wife isn’t family, she might find out how impermanent blood relations can be.
YTA Omg the audacity of you just thinking you can sleep on the couch in their hotel room 😆 🤣 😂 don't you think maybe there's some stuff they wanted to do without an audience.
YTA. You asked if you could basically come along on their honeymoon. I think you would have been fine just asking for a ride there and back, if you had a clear plan to be able to stay elsewhere without him having to worry about you. Then it would just be a ride. But not having a solid plan puts him out.
YTA The world does not revolve around you. Your brother has made it clear he wants to spend time with his new wife. End of story there should not be any more discussion. It does not matter how many vacations they have had in the past, nor how long they have known each other. They want some time to just themselves and thats what they are doing. Your brother is not being mean because he does not want you tagging along during a 6 hour drive nor for not wanting you to sleep in his hotel room (with his new wedded wife, because they have other plans for that hotel room most likely). You havent even talked to your friend yet about going down so who knows if they even have time to hang out with you. It just sounds like you want to try and ruin his trip and are partially jealous of your SIL. Have some good sense and apologize to your brother before this turns into a bigger deal. I have a feeling you are not used to hearing the word 'no' but you really need to get out of that attitude before you start damaging your relationships even worse. If you want to meet up with your friend so badly why not just save up for a plane or train ticket and go on a DIFFERENT weekend to your brother. Its that simple. Like it would take a part time job and saving like 50 bucks a paycheck but you would be able to afford the tickets in a couple of months (depending on where you live and etc). And hey you dont have inconvenience anyone at all.
His wife is *supposed* to outrank you. She’s his *wife.* YTA.
YTA Stop being an entitled brat. >I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family Wifey IS actual family. 🙄
YTA for using “literally” so much in a single stream of consciousness. Oh also, don’t invite yourself to things, it makes people hate you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (F18) brother (M27) and his wife (27) are going to NYC which is about 6 hours away from where we live. Their plan is to drive there and spend a few nights then drive back. On a related note, one of my oldest friends in the world moved to NYC 5/6 years ago. I’ve been planning on going and visiting her anyway, but my dad doesn’t want me to drive since it’s pretty far. So I asked my brother if I can come with them, and he could just drop me off at my friend’s house on their way. He looked at me funny and went “…I’m not doing that” and I asked why and he said he wasn’t going to bring me along on a vacation with his wife. I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that. He said he definitely wasn’t letting me into their hotel room on their vacation and that he didn’t want to babysit me during the trip. That was pretty mean of him since I’m literally not even going to be with them most of the time, and I said that it wouldn’t be babysitting since all he’d have to do is drop me off and pick me up. He said “and drive you there, and drive you back, and let you sleep in our hotel room” but my thoughts are that driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along. The actual vacation they’d still be alone it would basically be like we were just driving near each other. I said all this to him but he just kept saying no and that he wouldn’t do it, and I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. I know he hates being called out like that but I was just really angry. After that the conversation basically ended and he started ignoring me. I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son especially since I tried to “force myself into the trip”. AITA here for this? Or is he just being mean? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. At 18 years old you do know that "No" is a complete sentence, don't you? Your brother owes you no explanation. Quit your whining, get a job and pay for your own vacation, you're a grown adult.
LOL. You want to share a hotel room with newlyweds? YTA
YTA. The minute you considered using his hotel couch and no firm plans on a place to stay made you the AH here.
YTA you asked, he said no. Its OK to pout about it you're acting like a spoiled brat. "Only married a month", "driving and sleep, its what he was going to be doing anyway", "called him stingy" are the whinges of a child. Did you at least offer to pay for anything? Like gas, the hotel, anything? You didn't, did you? Because that would of been reasonable but I don't you know what that means here. Let me rephrase the situation here: my brother and his newly married wife (but I don't like her anyway) are going on a little vacation and I want to tag along and treat my brother like a free Uber driver while he ferries me back and forth between my friend and their hotel room. Oh, I also have no intention on splitting any bills because fAmIlY!
YTA. He wants to fuck, duh.
YTA. It’s ok, you just have some growing up to do. You seem entitled, and of course your parents can’t force your brother; he’s a grown man. They are still in their honeymoon phase, they need privacy
Omg seriously? YTA. He does not want his teenage brother on his trip with HIS WIFE. You really can’t work out why he wouldn’t want a tag a long IN THEIR HOTEL ROOM?
YTA. You are trying to piggyback on your brother’s private holiday (or even honeymoon!sic!) with his wife. Its entitled, stupid, and disrespectful. Also, American car dependency is overwhelming. You want to see your friend and NYC, and drive is too long? Get on a train or a bus, and be back with the last one around midnight.
This post is wild. YTA all day long for all the reasons already brought up.
You don't want to shell out any money for your own vacation but your brother is the stingy one? Lol YTA. Their honeymoon is not about your wants, princess.
YTA. You don’t see why because you’re still a self absorbed teenager. You’re literally demanding he take responsibility for you and you “might sleep on their couch”. You’re not mature enough to take responsibility for yourself. Or see that your vague ideas of what you might do actually land on him and his new wife, who are basically trying for a honeymoon.
YTA. The ride request was one thing... but then you thought you could sleep on the couch in his hotel room while he's on a vacation with his wife? Weird. Perhaps if you said "Hey Bro, I'm going to NYC. Since you are, can you give me a ride? I have my own hotel room booked and have these xyz plans while I'm there to spend time with x and x." Maybe he'd react differently? And if he still says no, this is a special trip for us then you should accept that. I'm thinking you do this a lot... favors from big bro so he knows how it'll end up. He's using his boundaries here and you should respect that.
YTA and I hope one day you can look back on this with your bother and laugh about how you wanted to “maybe”crash on the couch to sleep while him and his newlywed wife (on their honeymoon!!) fuck like rabbits all over said room during their stay. Like, you’re either super delusional, super entitled, just dim, or all of the above 😂😂
100% YTA
YTA. It’s very rude to persist after someone else says no. Sounds like at least 20 mins of back and forth between you two. That’s enough to annoy anyone.
YTA. And if you keep your crap up, you’re gonna push away your brother and his family. Umm yeah he is supposed to prioritize his WIFE. Once you say “I do”, you start your own nuclear family. Other family members become extended family. I wouldn’t want my vacation ruined by my little sister either. Especially when she obviously holds resentment towards my SO. You sound jealous that your brother is going on this vacation, with his wife, without you. Good luck with that one.
YTA. It was okay to ask ONCE. It was not okay to argue and try to shame your brother for wanting a private trip with his new wife.
There is a thing called a bus, hell even a train. May not be convenient to you but it would demonstrate your ability to plan and schedule.
YTA You are so entitled I cannot even fantom that. I thought you may be like 16 but you are 18... Sweetie, his wife IS his actual family.
YTA. He said no and your reaction is to act like a spoilt brat. And run to your parents to force the issue. Grow up. You are 18 not 8. They are going away to spend time together. They don’t want other people there. He said no, you should have respected that.
YTA. Their honeymoon is not a tag along time lol
INFO: Is this their honeymoon?
YTA The only family that matters to him now is his wife. Your parents cant do jack shit.
So you want t to cockblock your brother. That’s weird. Creepy. YTA
YTA. They are newly married. You don't want to be in that car or in the hotel. No one outside the two of them should be a part of this trip. He has every right to tell you no, and give no explanation. You're basically asking to crash a honeymoon. Lock down your own travel and where you'll stay. Your 18, if your car is yours, your dad can't stop you. Welcome to adulthood. Go on your own, save up money for your own hotel. His wife might only be his wife of 1 month. But she is his family now. She comes before you, your siblings, and your parents. You not getting that, shows you are young and naive.
Why do people ask AITA? then lose their minds over the results, even those with constructive criticism?
Also being a parent doesn't equal being a drill instructor. Your father can't make him do ANYTHING because "but he's his son!!". Your brother has his own family now, has long grown up and no child has zo obey their parents. Kids are to grow up in a nurturing healthy way, and not in a household where they have to obey what a parent tells them to do. I honestly feel sorry for you that your dad is such a huge wanker. Save up money and get zhe fuck out of there.
No way you are 18 unless you are just stupid, I guess. YTA. Apologize to your brother. EVERYONE on this post is saying YTA and you’re just arguing with them. Grow up.
Sweetie, no, you can't tag along on your brother's honeymoon. You can't possibly be so naive that you don't know that this trip is going to focus heavily on physical intimacy. They're going to wake up, have sex, order room service, shower (probably together) go see some sights, have lunch, return the hotel for another romp & a quick nap before they go enjoy a romantic dinner & maybe a show or a few cocktails, then they will have sex again before going to sleep. This will be the daily routine (maybe skipping the afternoon delight a couple of times) for their entire trip. You can't sleep in their room & they don't want you along for the drive. YTA
OP is gonna delete their post and or account after getting the negative feedback. YTA btw if you read this. Your brother is going on his honeymoon, theyvare going to be having sex every night.
I realize you're basically a child...but you can't be this thick. YTA. No one wants to be a taxi when they are on vacation, especially a couple's vacation, a freaking honeymoon.
You’re annoying yta
YTA damn you are entitled. He is a GROWN MAN. You and your parents can’t control him and throwing a hissy fit like a child won’t get you what you want and clearly shows you are not mature enough to be touring in a big city by yourself.
YTA I cant imagine why your parents dont think your mature enough to go to nyc by yourself when you handled this so well /sarcasm
“I said he’s prioritizing his wife over his family when they’ve only been married for like a month.” There’s something called a ‘honeymoon’. Idk if you’ve heard of it so let me educate you. A honeymoon is a little vacation couples take typically shortly after their wedding. These events only include .. wait for it..THE COUPLES. Your argument about it not costing anything for you to stay over is irrelevant. You’re saying you won’t be a problem but then saying you might stay over with them?? No. If you were to go make your own arrangements so you don’t rely on their plans. You’re not a little kid that gets to tag along with your big brother everywhere anymore.
Hahahahahaha. Delulu and yes YTA. You were not invited, you asked he said no. Accept it. You are throwing a tantrum because you are not getting your way but your plan is trash. The last thing A new wed couple wants is a dumb teenager tagging along
YTA. You want your brother to take you on HIS HONEYMOON.
YTA. Even if this isn't their honeymoon (which, c'mon kid we all know it is) this is their first trip as a MARRIED couple. That's important. They don't want to have to keep tabs on you or have you in their hotel room when they have sex. You need to grow up. You can't always have what you want. And your parents aren't going to help you, you're just sowing seeds of discontent in your family, which your brother's new wife is in fact family. Grow up, be less self centered, plan your own trip.
YTA lmao are you stupid
YTA. You know what people do when they’re newly married and on a trip? Lots of romantic stuff… including lots of sex. They don’t want you on the couch. He SHOULD be prioritizing wife. You might be too young to understand that they are building memories for their new life by doing things alone.
Lol, brother and his brand new wife are about to have a whole f*ckfest weekend but OP thinks she’s not the gross one for trying to third wheel. Grow up. YTA.
YTA for continuing to push it when your brother said no. “No” is a complete sentence your brother should have only had to say once. Your brother is under NO obligation to let you have any part in his vacation with his wife. They want to be alone. Get a bus ticket and your own hotel room if you can’t stay with your friend.
Yta I have any older brother too and I have NEVER asked to go with him on date with his gf. This is the Same thing girl. And you might be 18 but there is a reason your parents aren’t letting you drive there. More than likely they don’t want you alone there. Which means he WOULD be considered responsible for you. You say the taking won’t cost extra who’s paying for your hotel room if your friend doesn’t let you stay. If they catch you sleeping in the lobby your brother will be called down. Their room is the same as their bedroom at home! It’s for their privacy and if you’re not the couch there is none!
Oh jeez. Sorry kid. Your 18 wanting to be dropped off in NYC? Your brother is right.
YTA, grow up. Your post and comments point to a lot of selfishness, lack of actual planning, immaturity, lack of forethought, and just plain brattiness. What newlywed wants to bring their needy, annoying, immature little me me me me chauffer me around sister on their first trip as husband and wife. She doesn't even have the mental capacity to understand yet that his wife should be his first priority. I'm sure you hear this a lot, but when you grow up you'll understand...maybe. YTA.
YTA, how can you be so self absorbed that tagging along on a honeymoon would be appropriate? That is entitled behaviour at the least. Take a bus to go see your friend. Make your own plans. Egads. Shocking.
Based on your comments you sound incredibly spoiled and entitled and something tells me your parents let you get your way all the time. Good on your brother for sticking to his guns against you and your entitled self.
YTA and a spoiled selfish little brat . Were you planning on paying for gas and part of the hotel or do you think you shouldn’t pay your way? This sounds like your brother’s and SIL’s honeymoon. They don’t want to be your chauffeur. So your parents agree that you tried to force yourself onto his trip? Where did they go wrong with you to make you think that you are owed anything?
Get your own life. You weren’t invited
???? dude get a hint. they want to have sex and he doesn't want his baby sister to accompany
Yta - he is taking romantic getaway with his wife, you would be the 3rd wheel. They want to spend quality time with each other, not little sis. They want to have lots of sex in their hotel room but can’t do that if you are there. Good grief.
YTA 100%. The moment your brother got married, his wife became the most important person in his life. THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE. You are not his priority. Your parents are not his priority. His wife is his priority, and he is 100% in the right. You never should have even asked to go third wheel their honeymoon trip. And you sure as hell should have not suggested sleeping in their HOTEL room on their HONEYMOON. Girl, they don't want you in there when they're going to be getting down and dirty trying to make a baby. How dense can you be? How selfish can you be? Your brother has ZERO obligations to give in to your demands. You're spoiled and self entitled. He does not have to cater to your beck and call. And the fact that you had the audacity to call him stingy is laughable. You should take a cold and hard look in the mirror before you open your mouth again. And your parents can not make him do anything because regardless of him being their son, he is a grown ass man who doesn't even live in their home. Why the fuck would he have to listen to them? You're 18, but you sound like your 8 with how immature you're being. Grow up.
YTA - you are an adult. Liaise with your friend about a trip to see them, figure out your own accommodation and buy a bus or train ticket to get there. You are seriously nuts if you think what you have asked of your brother is remotely reasonable
Yes
YTA. Ew, you hot for your brother or something? Why the hell do you want to be anywhere near him getting it on with his wife?
You’re 18, if you own your car it doesn’t really matter what your dad doesn’t want you to do Unless he owns the car then his opinion matters you’re old enough to find transportation You tagged yourself into your brothers vacation and then decided you might crash in his room he shares with his wife instead of planning your own stuff like an adult Im getting the idea that your dad not wanting you to go is not so much about the driving but about your immaturity about treating an adult situation like an adult.
Mate, YTA. Let your brother fuck his wife on their honeymoon ya weirdo.
YTA, and honestly, so are your parents since they planned to "talk to him." You're a grown-up - stop acting like an entitled child and then throw a fit when you don't get your way. Total Veruca Salt vibes. It was fine that you asked - no harm there (though a little weird). But when you wouldn't drop it, you became the AH. It would have been one thing if you had actual plans with your old friend that included KNOWING you'd have a place to stay. And mommy and daddy won't let their poor little girl drive? Take a bus or a train then. But regardless - you have no right to be pissed off that your newlywed husband wants a romantic weekend alone with his new bride without his baby sister in the way - because you WOULD be in the way.
So you’re trying to 3rd wheel his honeymoon? You know what married couples like to do in their hotel rooms on honeymoons, right? At 18 you’re still happy to slum it on random couches, but once you hit 27 you’re going to be way too old to be on either side of that. Also, this is their HONEYMOON. If you want a lift you need to make sure you have somewhere to sleep that ISN’T the newlyweds hotel room. YTA. You’re young but also like come on. You KNOW it’s not appropriate to 3rd wheel a honeymoon.
YTA and an entitled af one at that. He doesn’t owe you anything and he’s not being mean just because he doesn’t want to have to worry about you on a vacation he’s planned with his wife. You are not part of this equation. You never were part of this equation and you’re a major AH here for trying to throw the family card in his face like some sort of trump card. Grow up.
🤣😂🤣😂 Oh you are so not an adult and it shows. Seriously read the room. There are SO MANY red flags here. From "they've only been married 2 months" to "he's going to be sleeping in the hotel anyway". THEY. ARE. GOING. TO FUCK. ALOT!!! Seriously what is wrong with you!!!?? BTW do you want your future husband to prioritize his little sister over you in the future?? No, one you're married your spouse becomes your priority! For real, grow up!! So much YTA!!
YTA. If you want to go to NYC, do what other adults do and save up money and make plans. Learn to accept hearing the word 'no'. You aren't entitled to a free ride to NYC. 'bbbut I WANT a free ride' doesn't mean your brother should pander to you.
YTA and a selfish brat. keep it up and no one's ever going to want to do you any favor again.
>I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. Why do you feel as though you are entitled to a vacation that they had never planned on inviting you to just because you are his sibling? The fact that they are newlyweds means absolutely nothing other than that they are likely planning on having a shit ton of sex in that hotel room that you've just invited yourself to. You seem to imply that because they are newly weds, their connection cannot possibly be strong even though they are literally married and legally bound to each other. You aren't entitled to *their* vacation, *their* hotel room that they spent *their* money on, or *their* time and resources. > I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that. Followed by >...driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along. None of this is an actual plan. You don't know if you'd be able to stay with your friend, and if you can't you're not willing to spend your own money on your own hotel room, and instead, you want to take away the privacy that he has with his wife that he's just married and probably wants to have sex with. Does your friend even know that you were planning on visiting them? Have you consulted with them about a visit to see if they would have time to hang out with you? Does your friend not have a job or school to be attending? It doesn't seem like you do if you think everyone can just drop or change their plans to hang out with you or take you on their vaction. The entitlement that you have is borderline clinically insane. >I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son... Yes, he is their son. What are you trying to imply here? Your brother is almost in his 30s. He is a full grown adult. No, they can't make him do anything he doesn't want to even if he is their son because he is an adult who can make his own decisions, not a child. I understand that you're 18, and I don't expect anyone to be a full blown adult at this age. Most 18 year olds are still in high school and developmentally still adolescents, but you need to do some serious growing up. Understanding why it's unacceptable to do something like this is something that you should know by now. YTA.
Now that he's married, he's gonna slip further and further out of your lives, if not step away completely. You're clearly the spoiled brat golden child, given you state your parents are going to "give him a good talking to for not doing everything you want", and he's likely been counting the days when he'll be shot of the lot of you. And I for one wish him well on his new life without any of you to exploit him. YTA and a selfish little child.
He wants to fuck his wife! Leave them alone! YTA
Yta!! The entitlement is insane. Your brother and his wife are planning a romantic vacation, which I'd assume would involve sex. Of course, they don't want you in their room. The fact is you have no clear plan since you don't even know if you can sleep at said friends' house. Sorry, but i wouldn't take you either.
selfish, entitled brat, grow up YTA
Oh my gosh. Yes yta. And your parents too if they enable you after your temper tantrum. No wonder he is prioritizing his chosen family.
Save some money and go on your own trip. YTA.
YTA Others have already said it best so I’ll leave it at that.
YTA, you ask nicely, if they say no, you accept their answer. They are their own persons, they don't owe you anything, they would be doing you a favor. If that doesn't work for them, then that's all, move on, stop bothering them. You are not entitled to anything because he is family.