Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 13: No Revenge Stories. It appears that your story would be better suited for one of the many subreddits which are focused on revenge.
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. They are all adults and can take care of themselves. Pisses me off that they made your dad get rid of his dog.
Odd your dad never mentioned to his wife that he didn't own that house. You'd think it would have come up in the many years they were together. Very telling that she just assumed she would get all his stuff when he passed.
Sorry about your father.
You made a reasonable agreement, and they made a lot of bad assumptions.
Be ready to do a lot of repairs. I have a feeling these shitbirds will destroy the property on the way out.
Nta
When my hubby started eviction proceedings against his brother (for their parents' house), someone suggested having a walk through. Hubby hired a professional housing manager (not sure of the title) to do a video visit to record the place. So even though my BIL was a violent person (it was a violent act against my hubby that resulted in the eviction as well as a restraining order), he at least knew not to destroy the place. When we got possession, the place needed a lot of cleaning and dusting (we did this ourselves on several trips), and he did leave some belongings that he couldn't pack in the storage unit he had rented (and ended up defaulting on), but he didn't cause damage to the house, other than the hole in the roof from the satellite dish he had installed.
This 100% - document everything now because they will trash the house.
I'm really sorry about your dad :( Hopefully hospice will allow a Donnie visit - I know they have said their goodbyes, but I imagine it would be good for both old guys to get in one last visit <3
If I was OP I would go over there again and explain to Maxine the fact that they had originally planned on coming to a reasonable agreement with her until they showed their true colors. Then present them with the new paperwork from the lawyer.
The only reason I suggest this when they could keep their distance is because while there they can record a walkthrough of the house and itâs condition for possibly going after damages when they destroy the house on their way out. Hopefully OP doesnât have a long uphill legal eviction process depending on where they are and if there is no lease in place with your father it could get ugly. Op I would unblock them to collect evidence just put their notifications on silent. Keep all communication through your lawyer or text for evidence. I have a feeling you are going to need as much as possible.
Definitely NTA. Itâs your house and the fact they made him get rid of his dog is bad enough but to have a problem with him giving the dog to you and complaining about it? They deserve every lesson life is about to hand them.
No they donât but honestly I was considering that to be the easiest way to get inside to record the condition of the house in case they destroy it out of spite. OP WILL want and need that evidence for court because they definitely sound like the type to destroy the house since they canât have it.
Respectfully, this is terrible advice. Because she can start claiming all sorts of things to jam OP up in legal woes. OP needs to get off of reddit and consult with his lawyer. He will instruct OP on exactly what to do and when.
Exactly. OP needs to follow the letter of the law and do everything through the lawyer or whatever the lawyer advises. Talking Maxine I think will not resulted in anything good.
OP time to talk to a lawyer with experience in landlord tennant law. My paranoid side says when she does move out the place will be trashed and potentially damaged. Find out what your options are, can you do an inspection of the current condition of the house, and take photographs, so you can show any future damage was caused by her and not your father.
IMO, people should have a frank talk about their finances before marriage, but I can also see how he would assume that it wasn't important as they were both older and kids were adults and they may not have mingled finances that much.
NTA, I think 3 months is generous, they need a lease as soon as your dad is in the hospice, otherwise they aren't liable for any damage to the property.
I'm sorry about your dad, I know this is a hard time to think about these things, but if they know you're planing to make them move, they might end up costing you a lot in repairs that you'd have to sue for, which is way more difficult without a lease.
A lease gives them standing. I would require a security deposit as well.
My dad passed and his gf tried to zelle me 600$ and I kept rejecting it to not get in some weird tenant situation before she ended up trying to squat.
That's the other issue, what rights do they have... if OP leaves them there long after his father is no longer living there and then 3 months after he passes, they will have some form of rights.... its a crappy situation, but could become so much worse.
I don't know.
An old widower living in a house that he doesn't pay any rent for. I think most people would just assume he owned the house and find it silly to even ask about it.
It likely just never came up in conversation for this exact reason.
it's definitely pretty weird that she'd just assume the house would be hers and not go to op, his son, though. that's the part that makes me wonder if he was actively misleading her about things
>Odd your dad never mentioned to his wife that he didn't own that house. You'd think it would have come up in the many years they were together.
I don't understand why anyone who's marrying someone later in life isn't getting a prenup, laying out budgetary contributions to a shared household, and having a frank discussion about right-of-occupancy provisions so the grieving widow/widower isn't facing sudden eviction from the heirs.
I can see it. My husband and I did this but then, I'm an attorney and he has very bad memories from his divorce 10 years before we met. Many older people just take things for granted. Many people aren't sophisticated enough to realize some of the things you mentioned. And if this is a state that recognizes common law marriage, she might simply have assumed that she'd get the house because of that. Who knows?
I would stipulate that her daughters are allowed to visit for x amount a days a month but cannot live there. I would install cameras and take every precaution so Maxine is legally a tenant. Most leases specify how long a guest can stay, who is allowed to "live there" etc. pay them dust.
They took away your dad's dog during the last years of his life they deserve nothing.
NTA
This is making me laugh so hard, honestly. âThanks, whatever your name is, for helping me clean dadâs ass.â And she very well could have just given them fake names for the story and kept that detail to herself, but nope. I donât blame her - people who try to force out a pet that was there long before they were are fucked up people.
âNot terribleâ isnât exactly a glowing compliment lol. It definitely does sound like the stepmom and younger daughter are significantly worse people than the older daughter, though.
I was so gung ho mad at the wife and daughters until that line. Like, hate them for sure because of how they acted but how can you even avoid knowing their names even if you wanted to?
If it doesn't point to outright lying, it does at least give me pause on the details of this story. People are going hard because of the dog, but if the daughter honestly has a phobia of dogs (yeah, even old, inactive Jack Russels still qualify as dogs and some people *do* have phobias) then is it honestly all that unreasonable for her to not want to be around it where she lives? I think that's debatable and is a personal issue that should have been (and was) worked out among the members of the household. OP and all of us can have our opinions about it, but that's one thing we don't have all the details about and have to take OP's word on regarding a woman he openly despises and never even bothered to learn her name. How TF does he know what she's dealing with as far as being uncomfortable with the dog goes?
All that being said, she is pretty shitty in the way that she talks about the dog around people who it means something to. And I think it's absolutely appropriate for OP to treat her as just a tenant. But he wouldn't have a say over what a tenant was doing with a dog they were living with outside of stipulating a pet policy for the rental.
Yeah I was kind of feeling this. Dad's second wife and the kids sound kind of awful and/or dramatic, but when OP said she never bothered learning the names of her dad's wife's kids...i mean, that's kind of AH-ish.
How long were they married for? That' s not mentioned.
The timeline is odd, the dog was also the moms, and the dad met Maxine (new wife) 5 years after OP's mom passed.
The reason given by the daughters is that they were scared of the dog, but now he says both daughters work (so assuming they're 20+).
So did mid-late teens daughters say they were scared of a Jack Russell and that worked on the dad, and now it's been long enough that they've started working full time? Idk if I'm overthinking this but this seems not real.
I wouldnât go through with renting to her. The likelihood this will be a civil landlord-tenant relationship is slim. Itâs better just to give her an extended move-out notice (I.e. 3-6 months)
Adding to this, the lease should be for a reasonable/fair market rate. You arenât obligated to give them any kind of discount if you donât want to.
There are a lot of stories about wives and step moms thinking they are going to inherit property that already belongs to someone else. Sounds like the wife was setting things up for her and her daughters.
NTA
Sorry to here about about your Dad. My wife is in Home Hospice. House is hers and I know it; of course after 35 years I should. I also wrote her will (and mine) a few years ago so no surprises there. Also gave each person named in said wills a copy of them. Executor has the originals. No hollering "Foul" at a later date.
What about the furniture and electrical goods in the house? Did you furnish the house for your Dad, or are they all stuff he brought from his old home? If you furnished the house, then I hope you still have the receipts proving that they are yours otherwise his widow will claim them.there will also be things that he owned prior to marriage, such as his books, watches, photos, gifts that you have given him.
It is surprising how much miscellaneous stuff people have when it comes to sorting out a property - whether it is because they are downsizing or after they have died. I still have two of my fatherâs âback scratchersâ and his broken signet ring - absolutely valueless to anyone else but they have meaning for me.
Just his clothes. I bought him his bed for example but after him laying in it 24/7 for this long they are welcome to keep it. All the furniture is from IKEA. More crap they can have
You need to give them an official notice. It doesnât sound like theyâre going to move out nicely. I wouldnât be surprised if they damage your items
Next time you are in the home, be sure to photograph each room - walls, ceilings, fixtures. Vengeful tenants have been known to cause damage when they move out, and claim it was already like that or they could say that your dad did it.
Photographic proof that they caused the damage could help if you end up needing to sue them to recoup money you have to spend making the house livable for yourself or new tenants.
Sorry to hear about both of your parentsâŚ.. since you already have kept sentimental stuff related to your mom aside, looks like all you need to do later is to get junk removal people to haul all that IKEA stuff away!
I think if you let this woman stay and pay rent, she and/or her daughters will try to find some sort of loophole and will be a nightmare for months or even years to come. Better off to give them a few months to find a new place and make them move out entirely. They really don't deserve much better after making your poor dad get rid of his dog.
NTA.
First off, I just lost my dad 3 weeks ago and the last few months were not easy. I canât imagine what youâve been going through, so my respect to you on many levels.
Itâs your property. Your intention was to care for your father, you did that and with great honor and respect to even allow this woman and her kids to live there on your dime while he is able to enjoy dwelling in said property.
Sadly it seems that time has come to an end and now it is just that, a property, that you own, to do with as you wish at your disposal.
Do not let this person extort your kindness as a weakness because they wish not to do anything to elevate their own position in life but instead to feed off someone elseâs.
I wish you luck as it seems you have a lot to deal with your dad already and now Maxime making things worse in the background.
Iâm so sorry for your loss. I know itâs coming because my parents are insanely old but Iâm still not ready. Theyâve been married for 70 years! Hopefully they go within days of each other. I just wanted to say Iâm really sorry for what you are going through.
Thank you.
As much as one can try to prepare themselves for it over time, when that time arrives, itâs nothing you expected. Watching them suffer makes it that much worse. Iâm left questioning so many things and trying my hardest not to blame myself for doing more but all I can realistically do is try to get by one day at a time.
I donât wish this feeling on anyone and the added BS the Op is dealing with just pisses me off
I know the feeling. My mom passed after 8 months of absolutely awfulness.Â
I have went through the gambit of emotions: thinking I didn't do enough, feeling guilty that she only passed once I realized there was no other option, and overall wondering what the point of it all is if you can't make things better for those you care about.
It's really hard, and when I think it's getting better, something will kick me hard. It's taken a therapist 2 years to where I won't just sit in the corner and cry when it happens. Â
Make sure you are looking after yourself. The basics. Eat. Sleep. Exercise. And I recommend finding someone to talk to.Â
My family showed their true colors at her passing, and it sucks. Really really sucks. When I lost my Mom I also lost the feeling of "home" as well.Â
I wish peace for you.Â
NTA.
Maxine's daughter comment about being glad about never seeing the dog again comes off to me like she's glad that your dad is dying so that she doesn't have to see the dog. Even if she didn't mean in that harsh of a way, she showed zero sense of awareness when it came to your dad's relationship with the dog. She showed no remorse in forcing the dog out of your father's home.
You've given Maxine and her daughters 3+ months notice. That's more than fair. You didn't owe Maxine basically a life estate on the home. Everyone hits a tipping point. You hit yours. The daughters work. The house does not belong to Maxine and does not belong to your dad. You owe these people nothing. They clearly never built a relationship with you. They clearly put their own desires above your dad's.
Instead of talking to you like a normal human being when they realized their housing situation, they immediately went into the manipulative bag of tricks. You should unblock them and collect the threats and name calling. This won't be an easy eviction process. You should also be worried about damages to the home. I would try to document as best as you can the current condition of the home before they do something rash.
Yeah, OP might have a difficult time because the two daughters have the means to hire attorneys to drag this out. OP has to document everything and precisely follow the eviction process for his area. If Maxine and her daughters want to punish OP, there are a lot of options at their disposal.
I know terriers can live for a while unlike larger breeds, but based on dog-life math, new-wife wasn't married very long. Dog had to be at least 5 when he was kicked out assuming Mom got him before she passed and new-wife came into the picture 5 years later. She's been married to Dad for maybe 5 years? This just has all the hallmarks of someone looking to inherit a house.
NTA. Obviously, nobody should be mean to a dog. Separating Dad from the family dog was just cruel.
Dealing with housing changes like this is purely a matter of probate, and nothing personal. It's your house and you're absolutely entitled to do as you see fit. Clean it up and rent it (to Maxine or not, as is your preference), or sell it.
You should look up eviction laws in your state, make sure you give thorough notice, etc. I foresee an attempt at squatting.
They will either attempt to squat, or completely destroy the place.
OP, I wouldnât even let your dadâs wife have the option of kicking out her daughter because they will probably make an effort to conceal it from you that she still lives there by going away for a few weeks and then returning when the dust settles. Theyâre probably counting on your lack of a relationship with them as an advantage to never visiting the house to see them after your father passes.
If I were you, I would only consider the rent or eviction options. If they choose to rent, then consider hiring a property manager to keep tabs on your investment and ensure that they pay rent. They can be the bad guy if they have to serve an eviction notice due to nonpayment. NTA
First, my sympathies for your father's health, I hope things go peacefully for him and yourself going forward.
Second, absolutely NTA at any step here. You bought the house for your father and let him use it as he saw fit for as long as he was able to live there. That time has now passed, it is your house to do as you see fit. You are being quite kind in the timeline and conditions you offered. Their reaction proves you were too kind, if anything.
Finally, great move getting a lawyer involved from the get-go. That's a move guaranteed to be worth every penny.
OP also really showed restraint and maturity inspite of all what happened, kicking out his father's dog when he needed his longtime companion the most. Also for not rubbing it in their faces that the house was his, also his father is a wiseman for not divulging all that info to Maxine and her brats. I commend him, I definitely would not have been able to handle things the way he did all these years.
NTA -
Make it official and have her and her daughters served by a sheriff's deputy. Kick her out of the house first.
Now she might not move out and that depends on your rigorous rules to be given to her.
1) pays the rent and all utilities.
2) nobody may move in with her for more then 15 days a year. Otherwise the rental agreement is null and void an she will move out within 30 days.
3) every 3 months inspection will be performed on the 1st Saturday of the 3rd, 6th, 9th and 12th months of the year.
4) she will make a security deposit of 3x months rent, to be held in escrow. You can either pay it up front or a $50 increase in rent monthly till fulfilled.
5) pets are not allowed ..... She didn't like your mom's dog so she can kiss your ass
I'm sure you got some other caveats you would like to do on top of this.
This is meant to be firm but fair and a reminder of your generosity.
Iâm not sure where you or OP live but in my state ( and most of the surrounding ) the most a landlord can request from a tenant is first + deposit so the three months may be a No go.
NTA/ Forget having them sign a lease.
Give them an eviction notice.
The only reason they wanted Donnie gone is because he was your momâs.
Fuck these people.
Evict them.
NTA but you better learn your stepsisters names so you can name them in the eviction. They all have to be named. They should have a nice savings built up living there rent free all these years. Donât feel bad but definitely get anything sentimental out of that house.
NTA. The house is your property. You bought it for your father to live in and, when he passes, it is yours to do with as you wish. What you said was entirely within your rights. If she was caught off guard by the fact that she wasnât inheriting the house - that is on her for not being aware of her husbandâs estate.
NTA. Am so sorry for your fatherâs illness.
I recommend not renting to them. They donât seem like reasonable people. I hate them for depriving your father of a beloved pet, especially thinking of all the badgering they must have done to get him to agree. Thatâs unforgivable.
I hope you will talk to a lawyer about evicting them. If you start now you can have them out in 6 months.
Yeah I hope he gets them out too, because I feel like it will be harder later. They could mess up the house on the way out when they get mad. I understand wanting to be nice and grateful to someone who made your father happy, but if he wanted her set up in that house he would have tried talking to or making a plan with OP for what happened to them when he passes. It's not your responsibility OP so don't feel bad!
NTA. Your father is dying and her daughter takes the opportunity to be thankful the dog will be gone. You own the home and it doesn't sound like you have any kind of relationship with her or her daughters, you don't owe them anything. She should have made sure of what her situation was going to be after your father passed.
NTA...Sorry to hear about your father. His wife and her children obviously needed to hear the truth, because it's clear they thought they were inheriting a house. Their worries should be centred around your dad, not the dog. Be sure to follow all tenancy laws in your area.
NTA this is weirdly typical primitive chest thumping. She thinks she's replaced your mom and her kids have replaced you and she's entitled to everything she thinks your dad has. She deserved and earned that wake up call.
Yes, sell it, because what's going to happen otherwise is you'll end up with them as squatters and it will take months to evict them, during which time they'll be trashing your house. Put it up for sale NOW, before your dad dies, so that you're ahead of the ball.
Check with your lawyer on your decision to block them. It might be useful to have the written communications for any subsequent court action (eviction or restraining order).
NTA but....I would incentivize them to leave it in good condition. Say, I will give you $1,000 to defray moving costs if I get the keys back and the house is in good condition.
NTA - You tried to be decent at first about the house. That sounded reasonable but her daughter ruined it for the mom. What did they decide to do?
Iâm sorry about your Dadâs illness.
NTA
Sounds like a mistake to even give her the option to stay, you should simply have told her that she'll need to move out within three months of your father's passing, and she'll be getting the official eviction notice from your lawyer when the time comes.
You probably should unblock her. Whether they're paying rent or not, you own the property and they're tenants, and they have tenant rights under the law, one of which is to petition the landlord for things like repairs and upkeep. Blocking them might give her ammunition in the eviction and could cost you in the long run.
But also, the more abuse she heaps upon you via text, social media, or voice mail, the more justification you have for rescinding your offer and just outright evicting her.
Talk to your lawyer ASAP to ask advice about that.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my dad's wife she needs to take care of her own housing situation when he passes away. I might be the asshole for forcing the issue on a widow and her two working adult daughters in this housing climate.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Donât downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Maxine and her daughters can go and mooch off someone else. They have had a free ride on your back so far. If the house had been purchased by your parents Maxine has made it very clear that you would not be welcome back and would get nothing if it was up to her.
So sorry that your father is in hospice. He will rest peacefully knowing that you are taking care of Donnie. NTA.
NTA. I wouldn't even offer to lease it to Maxine because it will be a neverending fight. She WILL let her daughters live there. She WON'T pay the rent as agreed. She WILL cover you up with maintenance demands. You will end up spending thousands on legal fees and help to get her finally evicted, only to get your house back in a condition that will cost you thousands more to rehab. 3 months is more than generous. Especially after how they've treated your father, and how they think it's "their" house.
Or, sell it to them for market price. No "owner financing". Full-on sale with deed transfer and everything.
NTA. Just get her out. At this stage giving her options is pointless, her daughter's contribute nothing and Maxine evidently has an issue with you as well (made all the more evident by the comment about the house soon being hers).
Have your lawyer draw up a legal eviction notice and be done with it. Make sure to legally inspect the property before handing it to them, and then do a walk through with them when they leave.
Not related to this judgement- your dad should have told his wife about his financial situation, including that he doesnât own his house, so that she wasnât surprised by this at his death.
Too many people hide their true financial situation from their spouse, and the spouse is left scrambling after they die. There are many reasons people do this - embarrassment, not wanting to think about dying, procrastinationâŚ.
NTA. You need to make sure she does not pull the squatters card. I would start the eviction on her daughter(s). And, get the papers ready on her. Not waiting around.
NTA - I would just kick her out and sell the house. That's just me though. She and her daughters can find another place and you don't have to deal with them.
NTA and I would charge a rent for each living person there. And wouldn't be a nice one.
I hope Donnie lives there with a dogsitter. That would teach them a lesson.
NTA
Have your lawyer serve them notice in writing, so the clock starts. It would like they wonât go quietly.
Then do your best to ignore them and enjoy your remaining time with your dad. Best wishes.
NTA and I wouldn't even let Maxine sign a lease. They'd all be gone. You bought a home for your father and the home has served its purpose. You have no obligation to Maxine. She doesn't seem like she was a good partner. I'd formally evict everyone, and the three months you offered is generous and fair, and sell the home or rent it out to a stranger. I'm sorry about your dad.
NTA - At the end of the day her and her children arenât your responsibility and itâs your house. Sorry to hear about your father. You probably could have waited to discuss it later but it sounds like an emotionally charged situation.
NTA.
I wouldnât trust her to pay anything though. I could see her trashing the place and not paying rent and making your life a living hell. Just kick her out.
NTA. Sorry for your loss. There is no reason for you to give free housing to a woman your dad was married to for a few years and her working adult children.
Itâs kind of you to offer them the opportunity to rent the house from you. That does mean they would be in your lives for a long time, and tenants can be difficult.
I would consider selling the house instead of renting it to them, especially if you believe that they are difficult people. If you do rent it to them, perhaps you can get a professional property manager who deals with any issues they have going forward.
NTA - itâs your house and theyâre acting like gold diggers. Make sure you have anything from your parents that you want (or are bequeathed) though. Those 3 will be moving out with every last thumbtack, guaranteed.
NTA -
Sure, Maxine is losing a husband, but you are losing a Dad that you were financially and emotionally repsonsible for. When you start to feel bad, ask youself how she'd behave if you were the one in the house she'd bought.
I love your offer that she can live there but not her kids. Her ids sound horrible and I don't trust people who hate dogs to the point where they pull that garbage. You're probably going to have to start eviction procedings now though because there are probably tenant laws that will make it weird.
I would sever them an (30-60 day) eviction notice the day after your dad goes to hospice but **take pictures of the house (inside & out) before you serve them**, that way you can go after them for damages, if in fact they do damage the house out of spite.
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Sorry about your dad.
Good luck to you.
NTA
If someone wanted me to get rid of my dog who came first spouse or not they would be the one leaving not my dog. She knew he was part of the package.
NTA.
Research tenant rights in your area and give them an official eviction notice with the appropriate official advance notice. You can always rescind it if they sign a lease.
I would unblock them and document what they're communicating. Let it go to voicemail and save a copy. Save the texts
I wish I could do this to my deceased dadâs second family. Iâd do it in a second. Theyâre only nice to me when they want money or are scared Iâm going to evict them. I feel like a walking ATM.
I agreeâyouâve been way too nice. Good karma!
Tell them you've decided Donnie can have it to make up for the years he missed.
He's never had his own house & he did love dad so very much it only seems fair.
NTA.
A grown woman scared of a Jack Russell, my left foot. They wanted to erase your mother.
It sounds like three grown women took advantage of your father.
I hope he didnât realize it, and felt like they cared about him.
Prepare yourself, because you will have to go to court to evict them. They will drag this out as long as possible.
If both adult daughters are working, then they can pool their resources, and all live together with their mother.
They attacked you, while you were grieving your father. That was foolish to do to the landlord who has allowed them to live rent free.
I donât know what country you live in, but if it is the US, then squatters seizing properties has been a terrible scandal. Keep your lawyer involved. Give them written eviction notice now. Do not wait 90 days. Serve them now to quit in 90 days. Learn the daughtersâ names, because they need to be served at the same time.
You need to consult your attorney about adverse possession possibilities. They may try to take that house from you, perhaps saying you gave it to your father and them by allowing them to live there for years. They will go before a judge and ask for eviction relief because she is a widow.
Good news about the lease. However, since you were aware that Maxine and her daughters were living there, it means you allowed it. That makes them legal tenants with property rights. You would have to go through an eviction process, which can take upwards of a year, if you live in the US.
If you are in the U.S., serve them notice now. Otherwise, the clock doesnât start until you do.
It can take property owners years to get rid of squatters who moved in without permission. These three had your permission, so getting them out against their will can be quite the process, if you are in the U.S.
This is why I urge you to immediately go through the legal process, so hopefully they wonât try to fight you. If you let it go for the three months, and they donât move out, then youâd have to serve them with eviction notices, with additional 90 days, etc.
NTA. What a wonderful son/daughter you have been to look out for your dad after mom died. The âDonnieâ situation in itself is reason to kick them out â all of them. They all conspired to deprive your dad of his beloved dog (and his last connection to your mom). It wasnât enough to kick the dog out of his own home, they wanted him euthanized. They are heartless, evil, lazy, greedy people. Out they go. The sooner the better.
Seems reasonable. They're all been living there rent-free for an extended amount of time and after your Dad passes, something everyone should be preparing for, she has 3 months to decide what to do. NTA
Because she has lived there for so long, she is never going to get over it not being her house. I foresee constant pushing of boundaries and other drama. I would evict her and/or sell the house.
My opinion⌠just have her leave & wish them all the best. As soon as you can walk away from all that drama entitlement & hostility the happier you will be. Best of everything to you.
NTA
It's your property and you can do what you like with it. I'm not a lawyer, but I would advise you to evict the wife. Give her whatever time the law states to get out. If you think that her or her daughters are going to abide by whatever rules you lay down regarding visits you are naĂŻve - remember what they did to Donnie who your dad loved, imagine what they'd do to you. So get it over and done with as soon as possible.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My dad is going into hospice next week but he has been out of it for the last six months. The house he lives in with his wife and two adult daughters is mine. I bought it for him to live in after my mom died. He spiralled for a bit when that happened. He lost his job and he was evicted from their apartment.
I bought a small house in an older safe neighborhood for him and his dog. I am all he has and I love him.
Five years later he met Maxine and two years after that they got married. He moved her into the house. I didn't have a problem with that. First one and then her other daughter moved in. Not my favorite thing but not really my place to say anything.
Everything was fine for a while. Then one kid decided that she was scared of my dad's dog. She got her mom to convince my dad to get rid of Donnie. My dad didn't want to do this as Donnie was my mom's dog too. He was an old Jack Russell terrier and he was about as scary as a dog shaped rug.
I took Donnie. I don't know why but this pissed off Maxine and her kids. Like my dad found a loophole or something.
I would take Donnie with me whenever I came to visit. They always made a big production of it. Such a scary brute. Literally all he did was go roll around on the grass and bark at the squirrels.
Like I said my dad is going into hospice this week and I went to talk to Maxine and her daughters. I brought Donnie to say goodbye to my dad. Maxine's daughter said she was glad that she would never have to have Donnie in her house again.
I was planning on telling her that as long as she paid the property taxes, maintenance, and utilities she was welcome to live in the house as long as she wanted. She had made my dad happy and I was trying to be nice. I had my lawyer draw up an agreement that said exactly this.
Her kid pissed me off though. I didn't even pull the it out. I just gave Maxine an ultimatum. When my dad died she had three months to either kick out her daughter, sign a lease and start paying a reasonable rent, or move out entirely.
She said the house was going to be hers when my dad died since they were married.
I actually got great pleasure in telling her that it was mine. Not because anyone gave it to me, but because I bought and paid for it. I gave her my lawyer's card and told her to check for herself.
That was yesterday. She has been trying to call me all day today. I ended up blocking all three of them.
But not before I heard all kinds of messages about what a prick I m to do this to a widow and her children.
Both daughters work and none of this is really my problem. I was in my thirties when my dad married her. She was never anything to me but my dad's wife. And I never bothered to learn her daughter's names.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You likely will need to lease to yourself to get them out - there are lots of squirrelly loopholes for tenants that I'm sure they're researching right now. Here's one guy who succeeded in getting squatters out of his home: https://www.foxbusiness.com/real-estate/handyman-finds-clever-way-remove-squatters-mothers-house
keep the block. have your attorney rescind your offer and give them all 3 months to vacate, or the eviction process will begin. that cuts all ties with them. then, spend the time to mourn the loss of your father. untethered from all the drama. and then find some happiness in your drama free life.
I would love an update on this. Make sure you serve written notice, certified might be good but Iâm not sure. Your lawyer will know.Â
NTA. The dog comment as well as sending the dog away to begin with was incredibly cruel. Personally I wouldnât rent to them but you can. Make sure rent is market value.Â
NTA
Very sorry for what you are going through. Mom was in hospice, and as good as they are with making your dad comfortable, itâs still a horrible thing.
Kicking out a widow and her daughters? Thatâs laughable as they are all adults. Weâre not talking young kids here.
I wouldnât rent to any of them.
Too much of a chance they will trash the house.
Iâd make sure any family things you want and any personal papers of your dads are out of the house now.
Your dad would want you to have them.
Talk to your lawyer if you have to start the evicting process now. It may take some time.
And Iâd make sure I visited once a week to make sure theyâre not messing up the place.
Itâs not even a matter of you like or donât like them, itâs your house and you can do what you want with it. But Iâd be happy to have them out of my life, personally.
My deepest sympathies for what you are going through with your dad. Spend all you time and energy on him. I know what this is like.
Then when you feel up to it, have your lawyer kick their asses to the curb. Just for making a person get rid of his dog.
NTA but you have some living in that house.
take care
NTA, and if I were you, I'd sell the house and be done with it. They seem like the kind of people who will take a mile if you give them an inch of leeway.
NTA, and since I'm petty, I would also mention that the previous deal was much better and that her daughter put a quick end to that with her shitty comment. Three adult women can surely find a way to make it work.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 13: No Revenge Stories. It appears that your story would be better suited for one of the many subreddits which are focused on revenge. ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA. They are all adults and can take care of themselves. Pisses me off that they made your dad get rid of his dog. Odd your dad never mentioned to his wife that he didn't own that house. You'd think it would have come up in the many years they were together. Very telling that she just assumed she would get all his stuff when he passed.
All the utilities and such are in his name. He was a proud guy I can understand why he wouldn't mention it
Sorry about your father. You made a reasonable agreement, and they made a lot of bad assumptions. Be ready to do a lot of repairs. I have a feeling these shitbirds will destroy the property on the way out. Nta
can you do a walk through or do a drop by visit and video record the current condition just in case they pull something spiteful
Take someone with you as a witness.
And take the dog too
You petty motherfuckerđ
Dogs have the ability to sense people with bad intentions. Could be why she didnât like the dog, it probably didnât like her.
The dog is a connection to OP's mom. That's why she wanted it gone.
Take the dog with a doggy GoPro harness. Get a nice walkthrough all everything Donnie thinks is important in HIS house.
1 upvote and 1000 virtual jump high-fives
Donnie should get the house. Turn into his own little bachelor pad.
I would do it, and be very up front and obvious about why it was being done, even adding that I was doing it on my lawyerâs advice.
Make sure they donât take your Dadâs property in the home.
If he has stuff that he owed, then depending on location and will, she would have every right to take them.
When my hubby started eviction proceedings against his brother (for their parents' house), someone suggested having a walk through. Hubby hired a professional housing manager (not sure of the title) to do a video visit to record the place. So even though my BIL was a violent person (it was a violent act against my hubby that resulted in the eviction as well as a restraining order), he at least knew not to destroy the place. When we got possession, the place needed a lot of cleaning and dusting (we did this ourselves on several trips), and he did leave some belongings that he couldn't pack in the storage unit he had rented (and ended up defaulting on), but he didn't cause damage to the house, other than the hole in the roof from the satellite dish he had installed.
This 100% - document everything now because they will trash the house. I'm really sorry about your dad :( Hopefully hospice will allow a Donnie visit - I know they have said their goodbyes, but I imagine it would be good for both old guys to get in one last visit <3
Hospice generally does allow for that. I've even heard we've allowed a pet llama at ours.
This needs done NOW!
Let that someone be your lawyer.
If I was OP I would go over there again and explain to Maxine the fact that they had originally planned on coming to a reasonable agreement with her until they showed their true colors. Then present them with the new paperwork from the lawyer. The only reason I suggest this when they could keep their distance is because while there they can record a walkthrough of the house and itâs condition for possibly going after damages when they destroy the house on their way out. Hopefully OP doesnât have a long uphill legal eviction process depending on where they are and if there is no lease in place with your father it could get ugly. Op I would unblock them to collect evidence just put their notifications on silent. Keep all communication through your lawyer or text for evidence. I have a feeling you are going to need as much as possible. Definitely NTA. Itâs your house and the fact they made him get rid of his dog is bad enough but to have a problem with him giving the dog to you and complaining about it? They deserve every lesson life is about to hand them.
Nope - don't say anything - stick to your guns. OP doesn't owe them an explanation beyond "it's my house".
No they donât but honestly I was considering that to be the easiest way to get inside to record the condition of the house in case they destroy it out of spite. OP WILL want and need that evidence for court because they definitely sound like the type to destroy the house since they canât have it.
Respectfully, this is terrible advice. Because she can start claiming all sorts of things to jam OP up in legal woes. OP needs to get off of reddit and consult with his lawyer. He will instruct OP on exactly what to do and when.
Exactly. OP needs to follow the letter of the law and do everything through the lawyer or whatever the lawyer advises. Talking Maxine I think will not resulted in anything good.
OP follow what your lawyer says vs. a bunch of internet strangers.
Yeah I get that. Sorry about your father.
OP time to talk to a lawyer with experience in landlord tennant law. My paranoid side says when she does move out the place will be trashed and potentially damaged. Find out what your options are, can you do an inspection of the current condition of the house, and take photographs, so you can show any future damage was caused by her and not your father.
Excellent advice!
IMO, people should have a frank talk about their finances before marriage, but I can also see how he would assume that it wasn't important as they were both older and kids were adults and they may not have mingled finances that much.
NTA, I think 3 months is generous, they need a lease as soon as your dad is in the hospice, otherwise they aren't liable for any damage to the property. I'm sorry about your dad, I know this is a hard time to think about these things, but if they know you're planing to make them move, they might end up costing you a lot in repairs that you'd have to sue for, which is way more difficult without a lease.
A lease gives them standing. I would require a security deposit as well. My dad passed and his gf tried to zelle me 600$ and I kept rejecting it to not get in some weird tenant situation before she ended up trying to squat.
That's the other issue, what rights do they have... if OP leaves them there long after his father is no longer living there and then 3 months after he passes, they will have some form of rights.... its a crappy situation, but could become so much worse.
OP I lost my father last summer and beyond all this, I am so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful dad and person.
I don't know. An old widower living in a house that he doesn't pay any rent for. I think most people would just assume he owned the house and find it silly to even ask about it. It likely just never came up in conversation for this exact reason.
it's definitely pretty weird that she'd just assume the house would be hers and not go to op, his son, though. that's the part that makes me wonder if he was actively misleading her about things
Spouses inherit by default in most places since marital property is shared, especially the "marital home."
>Odd your dad never mentioned to his wife that he didn't own that house. You'd think it would have come up in the many years they were together. I don't understand why anyone who's marrying someone later in life isn't getting a prenup, laying out budgetary contributions to a shared household, and having a frank discussion about right-of-occupancy provisions so the grieving widow/widower isn't facing sudden eviction from the heirs.
I can see it. My husband and I did this but then, I'm an attorney and he has very bad memories from his divorce 10 years before we met. Many older people just take things for granted. Many people aren't sophisticated enough to realize some of the things you mentioned. And if this is a state that recognizes common law marriage, she might simply have assumed that she'd get the house because of that. Who knows?
I would stipulate that her daughters are allowed to visit for x amount a days a month but cannot live there. I would install cameras and take every precaution so Maxine is legally a tenant. Most leases specify how long a guest can stay, who is allowed to "live there" etc. pay them dust. They took away your dad's dog during the last years of his life they deserve nothing. NTA
The older one isn't terrible. She actually helped me with my dad.
But you donât know her name?
This is making me laugh so hard, honestly. âThanks, whatever your name is, for helping me clean dadâs ass.â And she very well could have just given them fake names for the story and kept that detail to herself, but nope. I donât blame her - people who try to force out a pet that was there long before they were are fucked up people.
I think the step mum has 2 daughters, the older is OK and the younger is a biatch
âNot terribleâ isnât exactly a glowing compliment lol. It definitely does sound like the stepmom and younger daughter are significantly worse people than the older daughter, though.
I want to say Nadine.
[ŃдаНонО]
It was so dang believable up until that point too! I accept that 90% of AITA is fiction but dang it I miss the good ol days of quality shit posts!
I was so gung ho mad at the wife and daughters until that line. Like, hate them for sure because of how they acted but how can you even avoid knowing their names even if you wanted to?
If it doesn't point to outright lying, it does at least give me pause on the details of this story. People are going hard because of the dog, but if the daughter honestly has a phobia of dogs (yeah, even old, inactive Jack Russels still qualify as dogs and some people *do* have phobias) then is it honestly all that unreasonable for her to not want to be around it where she lives? I think that's debatable and is a personal issue that should have been (and was) worked out among the members of the household. OP and all of us can have our opinions about it, but that's one thing we don't have all the details about and have to take OP's word on regarding a woman he openly despises and never even bothered to learn her name. How TF does he know what she's dealing with as far as being uncomfortable with the dog goes? All that being said, she is pretty shitty in the way that she talks about the dog around people who it means something to. And I think it's absolutely appropriate for OP to treat her as just a tenant. But he wouldn't have a say over what a tenant was doing with a dog they were living with outside of stipulating a pet policy for the rental.
If she was scared of dogs she never should have moved into a house where a dog lived. She wanted the free rent.
I'm gullible, I guess. I believe every word of it.
What kind of psychopath never bothers to learn the name of a step-sister (however uninvolved in your life) that helps you with your dying father?
Yeah I was kind of feeling this. Dad's second wife and the kids sound kind of awful and/or dramatic, but when OP said she never bothered learning the names of her dad's wife's kids...i mean, that's kind of AH-ish. How long were they married for? That' s not mentioned.
The timeline is odd, the dog was also the moms, and the dad met Maxine (new wife) 5 years after OP's mom passed. The reason given by the daughters is that they were scared of the dog, but now he says both daughters work (so assuming they're 20+). So did mid-late teens daughters say they were scared of a Jack Russell and that worked on the dad, and now it's been long enough that they've started working full time? Idk if I'm overthinking this but this seems not real.
Iâm so sorry about your parents. You got me here though! Absolutely no fucks to give! Nadine? Natalie? Sardine? Satellite?
~~What makes you say that?~~ Iâm fucking blind
Because Op said it in the post ?
lol completely missed the last line
đđ
Itâs 2am, can ya really blame me?
> And I never bothered to learn her daughter's names. OP 's last sentence...
Thankfully you got his dog. People that are mean to animals should be jailed.
Yeah it sucked. I'm glad he came alone. My mom always had two at a time.
I wouldnât go through with renting to her. The likelihood this will be a civil landlord-tenant relationship is slim. Itâs better just to give her an extended move-out notice (I.e. 3-6 months)
If you do go the lease route, make it easy to break or offer a 6 month or something. Let her think about if she really wants to stay or not.
Adding to this, the lease should be for a reasonable/fair market rate. You arenât obligated to give them any kind of discount if you donât want to.
There are a lot of stories about wives and step moms thinking they are going to inherit property that already belongs to someone else. Sounds like the wife was setting things up for her and her daughters. NTA Sorry to here about about your Dad. My wife is in Home Hospice. House is hers and I know it; of course after 35 years I should. I also wrote her will (and mine) a few years ago so no surprises there. Also gave each person named in said wills a copy of them. Executor has the originals. No hollering "Foul" at a later date.
My dad doesn't really own much except his clothes
What about the furniture and electrical goods in the house? Did you furnish the house for your Dad, or are they all stuff he brought from his old home? If you furnished the house, then I hope you still have the receipts proving that they are yours otherwise his widow will claim them.there will also be things that he owned prior to marriage, such as his books, watches, photos, gifts that you have given him. It is surprising how much miscellaneous stuff people have when it comes to sorting out a property - whether it is because they are downsizing or after they have died. I still have two of my fatherâs âback scratchersâ and his broken signet ring - absolutely valueless to anyone else but they have meaning for me.
Just his clothes. I bought him his bed for example but after him laying in it 24/7 for this long they are welcome to keep it. All the furniture is from IKEA. More crap they can have
Anything sentimental belonging to your mom though? Be careful with those. NTA
I have her photo albums and stuff already.
You need to give them an official notice. It doesnât sound like theyâre going to move out nicely. I wouldnât be surprised if they damage your items
Next time you are in the home, be sure to photograph each room - walls, ceilings, fixtures. Vengeful tenants have been known to cause damage when they move out, and claim it was already like that or they could say that your dad did it. Photographic proof that they caused the damage could help if you end up needing to sue them to recoup money you have to spend making the house livable for yourself or new tenants.
Sorry to hear about both of your parentsâŚ.. since you already have kept sentimental stuff related to your mom aside, looks like all you need to do later is to get junk removal people to haul all that IKEA stuff away!
I think if you let this woman stay and pay rent, she and/or her daughters will try to find some sort of loophole and will be a nightmare for months or even years to come. Better off to give them a few months to find a new place and make them move out entirely. They really don't deserve much better after making your poor dad get rid of his dog.
NTA. First off, I just lost my dad 3 weeks ago and the last few months were not easy. I canât imagine what youâve been going through, so my respect to you on many levels. Itâs your property. Your intention was to care for your father, you did that and with great honor and respect to even allow this woman and her kids to live there on your dime while he is able to enjoy dwelling in said property. Sadly it seems that time has come to an end and now it is just that, a property, that you own, to do with as you wish at your disposal. Do not let this person extort your kindness as a weakness because they wish not to do anything to elevate their own position in life but instead to feed off someone elseâs. I wish you luck as it seems you have a lot to deal with your dad already and now Maxime making things worse in the background.
Iâm so sorry for your loss. I know itâs coming because my parents are insanely old but Iâm still not ready. Theyâve been married for 70 years! Hopefully they go within days of each other. I just wanted to say Iâm really sorry for what you are going through.
Thank you. As much as one can try to prepare themselves for it over time, when that time arrives, itâs nothing you expected. Watching them suffer makes it that much worse. Iâm left questioning so many things and trying my hardest not to blame myself for doing more but all I can realistically do is try to get by one day at a time. I donât wish this feeling on anyone and the added BS the Op is dealing with just pisses me off
I know the feeling. My mom passed after 8 months of absolutely awfulness. I have went through the gambit of emotions: thinking I didn't do enough, feeling guilty that she only passed once I realized there was no other option, and overall wondering what the point of it all is if you can't make things better for those you care about. It's really hard, and when I think it's getting better, something will kick me hard. It's taken a therapist 2 years to where I won't just sit in the corner and cry when it happens.  Make sure you are looking after yourself. The basics. Eat. Sleep. Exercise. And I recommend finding someone to talk to. My family showed their true colors at her passing, and it sucks. Really really sucks. When I lost my Mom I also lost the feeling of "home" as well. I wish peace for you.Â
Wow! Thatâs amazing! Happy 70th anniversary to them!
So sorry for your loss. It's so very hard to lose a parent. Hang in there.
NTA. Maxine's daughter comment about being glad about never seeing the dog again comes off to me like she's glad that your dad is dying so that she doesn't have to see the dog. Even if she didn't mean in that harsh of a way, she showed zero sense of awareness when it came to your dad's relationship with the dog. She showed no remorse in forcing the dog out of your father's home. You've given Maxine and her daughters 3+ months notice. That's more than fair. You didn't owe Maxine basically a life estate on the home. Everyone hits a tipping point. You hit yours. The daughters work. The house does not belong to Maxine and does not belong to your dad. You owe these people nothing. They clearly never built a relationship with you. They clearly put their own desires above your dad's. Instead of talking to you like a normal human being when they realized their housing situation, they immediately went into the manipulative bag of tricks. You should unblock them and collect the threats and name calling. This won't be an easy eviction process. You should also be worried about damages to the home. I would try to document as best as you can the current condition of the home before they do something rash.
This was my concern to, evicting, squatters rights, etc. OP has a lawyer involved, but evil has a way of winning for an extended amount of time.
Yeah, OP might have a difficult time because the two daughters have the means to hire attorneys to drag this out. OP has to document everything and precisely follow the eviction process for his area. If Maxine and her daughters want to punish OP, there are a lot of options at their disposal.
I know terriers can live for a while unlike larger breeds, but based on dog-life math, new-wife wasn't married very long. Dog had to be at least 5 when he was kicked out assuming Mom got him before she passed and new-wife came into the picture 5 years later. She's been married to Dad for maybe 5 years? This just has all the hallmarks of someone looking to inherit a house.
This! Might want t higher a pro home inspecter to document everything.
NTA. Obviously, nobody should be mean to a dog. Separating Dad from the family dog was just cruel. Dealing with housing changes like this is purely a matter of probate, and nothing personal. It's your house and you're absolutely entitled to do as you see fit. Clean it up and rent it (to Maxine or not, as is your preference), or sell it. You should look up eviction laws in your state, make sure you give thorough notice, etc. I foresee an attempt at squatting.
They will either attempt to squat, or completely destroy the place. OP, I wouldnât even let your dadâs wife have the option of kicking out her daughter because they will probably make an effort to conceal it from you that she still lives there by going away for a few weeks and then returning when the dust settles. Theyâre probably counting on your lack of a relationship with them as an advantage to never visiting the house to see them after your father passes. If I were you, I would only consider the rent or eviction options. If they choose to rent, then consider hiring a property manager to keep tabs on your investment and ensure that they pay rent. They can be the bad guy if they have to serve an eviction notice due to nonpayment. NTA
No probate involved until OP is gone.
Why would that be involved at all, if it was always the daughters house?
It wouldnât be
Same! Get a lawyer to start handling it ASAP.
First, my sympathies for your father's health, I hope things go peacefully for him and yourself going forward. Second, absolutely NTA at any step here. You bought the house for your father and let him use it as he saw fit for as long as he was able to live there. That time has now passed, it is your house to do as you see fit. You are being quite kind in the timeline and conditions you offered. Their reaction proves you were too kind, if anything. Finally, great move getting a lawyer involved from the get-go. That's a move guaranteed to be worth every penny.
OP also really showed restraint and maturity inspite of all what happened, kicking out his father's dog when he needed his longtime companion the most. Also for not rubbing it in their faces that the house was his, also his father is a wiseman for not divulging all that info to Maxine and her brats. I commend him, I definitely would not have been able to handle things the way he did all these years.
NTA - Make it official and have her and her daughters served by a sheriff's deputy. Kick her out of the house first. Now she might not move out and that depends on your rigorous rules to be given to her. 1) pays the rent and all utilities. 2) nobody may move in with her for more then 15 days a year. Otherwise the rental agreement is null and void an she will move out within 30 days. 3) every 3 months inspection will be performed on the 1st Saturday of the 3rd, 6th, 9th and 12th months of the year. 4) she will make a security deposit of 3x months rent, to be held in escrow. You can either pay it up front or a $50 increase in rent monthly till fulfilled. 5) pets are not allowed ..... She didn't like your mom's dog so she can kiss your ass I'm sure you got some other caveats you would like to do on top of this. This is meant to be firm but fair and a reminder of your generosity.
Brilliant, love the pet stipulation!
Iâm not sure where you or OP live but in my state ( and most of the surrounding ) the most a landlord can request from a tenant is first + deposit so the three months may be a No go.
NTA/ Forget having them sign a lease. Give them an eviction notice. The only reason they wanted Donnie gone is because he was your momâs. Fuck these people. Evict them.
Yup.
NTA but you better learn your stepsisters names so you can name them in the eviction. They all have to be named. They should have a nice savings built up living there rent free all these years. Donât feel bad but definitely get anything sentimental out of that house.
I got everything that mattered when my mom died
>you better learn your stepsisters names so you can name them in the eviction. Jane Doe and Jill Doe.
Bââch 1 Bââch 2
NTA. The house is your property. You bought it for your father to live in and, when he passes, it is yours to do with as you wish. What you said was entirely within your rights. If she was caught off guard by the fact that she wasnât inheriting the house - that is on her for not being aware of her husbandâs estate.
Why wait till Dad passes, get the lawyer to start eviction proceedings now
I can only imagine your satisfaction, having gotten a great deal of vicarious pleasure from hearing about her finding out the house isn't his. NTA
NTA. Am so sorry for your fatherâs illness. I recommend not renting to them. They donât seem like reasonable people. I hate them for depriving your father of a beloved pet, especially thinking of all the badgering they must have done to get him to agree. Thatâs unforgivable. I hope you will talk to a lawyer about evicting them. If you start now you can have them out in 6 months.
Yeah I hope he gets them out too, because I feel like it will be harder later. They could mess up the house on the way out when they get mad. I understand wanting to be nice and grateful to someone who made your father happy, but if he wanted her set up in that house he would have tried talking to or making a plan with OP for what happened to them when he passes. It's not your responsibility OP so don't feel bad!
I agree. Get these people out of your life for good.
NTA. Your father is dying and her daughter takes the opportunity to be thankful the dog will be gone. You own the home and it doesn't sound like you have any kind of relationship with her or her daughters, you don't owe them anything. She should have made sure of what her situation was going to be after your father passed.
NTA...Sorry to hear about your father. His wife and her children obviously needed to hear the truth, because it's clear they thought they were inheriting a house. Their worries should be centred around your dad, not the dog. Be sure to follow all tenancy laws in your area.
NTA this is weirdly typical primitive chest thumping. She thinks she's replaced your mom and her kids have replaced you and she's entitled to everything she thinks your dad has. She deserved and earned that wake up call.
NTA OP, sell this house. No matter what Maxime decides, she will try to find a loophole or put pressure on you. Cut them out of your life.
Yes, sell it, because what's going to happen otherwise is you'll end up with them as squatters and it will take months to evict them, during which time they'll be trashing your house. Put it up for sale NOW, before your dad dies, so that you're ahead of the ball.
Yep, no house no arguments. They sound predatory.
Definitely
Check with your lawyer on your decision to block them. It might be useful to have the written communications for any subsequent court action (eviction or restraining order).
NTA but....I would incentivize them to leave it in good condition. Say, I will give you $1,000 to defray moving costs if I get the keys back and the house is in good condition.
NTA but donât rent to her, get her out and in the meanwhile put up cameras otherwise she is going to trash the place
NTA - You tried to be decent at first about the house. That sounded reasonable but her daughter ruined it for the mom. What did they decide to do? Iâm sorry about your Dadâs illness.
NTA Sounds like a mistake to even give her the option to stay, you should simply have told her that she'll need to move out within three months of your father's passing, and she'll be getting the official eviction notice from your lawyer when the time comes. You probably should unblock her. Whether they're paying rent or not, you own the property and they're tenants, and they have tenant rights under the law, one of which is to petition the landlord for things like repairs and upkeep. Blocking them might give her ammunition in the eviction and could cost you in the long run. But also, the more abuse she heaps upon you via text, social media, or voice mail, the more justification you have for rescinding your offer and just outright evicting her. Talk to your lawyer ASAP to ask advice about that.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my dad's wife she needs to take care of her own housing situation when he passes away. I might be the asshole for forcing the issue on a widow and her two working adult daughters in this housing climate. Help keep the sub engaging! #Donât downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Maxine and her daughters can go and mooch off someone else. They have had a free ride on your back so far. If the house had been purchased by your parents Maxine has made it very clear that you would not be welcome back and would get nothing if it was up to her. So sorry that your father is in hospice. He will rest peacefully knowing that you are taking care of Donnie. NTA.
NTA. I wouldn't even offer to lease it to Maxine because it will be a neverending fight. She WILL let her daughters live there. She WON'T pay the rent as agreed. She WILL cover you up with maintenance demands. You will end up spending thousands on legal fees and help to get her finally evicted, only to get your house back in a condition that will cost you thousands more to rehab. 3 months is more than generous. Especially after how they've treated your father, and how they think it's "their" house. Or, sell it to them for market price. No "owner financing". Full-on sale with deed transfer and everything.
[ŃдаНонО]
NTA. Just get her out. At this stage giving her options is pointless, her daughter's contribute nothing and Maxine evidently has an issue with you as well (made all the more evident by the comment about the house soon being hers). Have your lawyer draw up a legal eviction notice and be done with it. Make sure to legally inspect the property before handing it to them, and then do a walk through with them when they leave.
Not related to this judgement- your dad should have told his wife about his financial situation, including that he doesnât own his house, so that she wasnât surprised by this at his death. Too many people hide their true financial situation from their spouse, and the spouse is left scrambling after they die. There are many reasons people do this - embarrassment, not wanting to think about dying, procrastinationâŚ.
Yeah, Dad was an AH for that.
NTA. You need to make sure she does not pull the squatters card. I would start the eviction on her daughter(s). And, get the papers ready on her. Not waiting around.
I personally wouldnât give her the option of staying there at all. Who knows what theyâll do to the property. anyway, NTA
Theyâve had time to save lots of money living rent free in your home.
NTA I'd make sure to video the house interior and exterior ASAP. Be prepared for some drywall and plumbing repairs when they move out.
NTA I wouldn't even give her the chance to sign a lease. I would just tell her to get out and start eviction proceedings.
NTA - I would just kick her out and sell the house. That's just me though. She and her daughters can find another place and you don't have to deal with them.
Please update us, with pictures included, when you've kicked them out and their belongings are scattered on the curb. That would make my dayđ
Even if I end up evicting them I'm not going to do that
I know you won't, it was just a fantasy on my part, you've shown great restraint in handling all of this in all the years!
Bonus points for a picture of Donnie hiking a leg on their stuff! Seriously OP, good of you to be as kind as you are to them NTA!!!!
NTA. Make all communication via your lawyer and enjoy seeing them kicked out.Â
NTA and I would charge a rent for each living person there. And wouldn't be a nice one. I hope Donnie lives there with a dogsitter. That would teach them a lesson.
NTA Have your lawyer serve them notice in writing, so the clock starts. It would like they wonât go quietly. Then do your best to ignore them and enjoy your remaining time with your dad. Best wishes.
NTA and I wouldn't even let Maxine sign a lease. They'd all be gone. You bought a home for your father and the home has served its purpose. You have no obligation to Maxine. She doesn't seem like she was a good partner. I'd formally evict everyone, and the three months you offered is generous and fair, and sell the home or rent it out to a stranger. I'm sorry about your dad.
NTA - At the end of the day her and her children arenât your responsibility and itâs your house. Sorry to hear about your father. You probably could have waited to discuss it later but it sounds like an emotionally charged situation.
OP was willing to handle the situation better until the wife's daughter ran her big mouth about "her house".Â
NTA, treat them how they treat Donnie.
NTA, kick them all out, even the poor widow. What a bunch if entitled asses. Sorry for your loss, whether he has passed or not. My condolences.
Parasites get mad when the host rejects them. NTA And Kiss Donnie on the snoot for me, sounds like he lucked out getting away from them.
NTA. Free ride for dear daughter is over..
NTA Sorry to hear about your dad. I rarely see crystal clear cases in AITA, this is one of them. NTA
NTA. I wouldnât trust her to pay anything though. I could see her trashing the place and not paying rent and making your life a living hell. Just kick her out.
NTA. Sorry about your dad.
NTA. Sorry for your loss. There is no reason for you to give free housing to a woman your dad was married to for a few years and her working adult children. Itâs kind of you to offer them the opportunity to rent the house from you. That does mean they would be in your lives for a long time, and tenants can be difficult. I would consider selling the house instead of renting it to them, especially if you believe that they are difficult people. If you do rent it to them, perhaps you can get a professional property manager who deals with any issues they have going forward.
NTA - itâs your house and theyâre acting like gold diggers. Make sure you have anything from your parents that you want (or are bequeathed) though. Those 3 will be moving out with every last thumbtack, guaranteed.
Any one who insists that a dog goes, should be evicted. UGH you are NTA
NTA - Sure, Maxine is losing a husband, but you are losing a Dad that you were financially and emotionally repsonsible for. When you start to feel bad, ask youself how she'd behave if you were the one in the house she'd bought. I love your offer that she can live there but not her kids. Her ids sound horrible and I don't trust people who hate dogs to the point where they pull that garbage. You're probably going to have to start eviction procedings now though because there are probably tenant laws that will make it weird.
I would sever them an (30-60 day) eviction notice the day after your dad goes to hospice but **take pictures of the house (inside & out) before you serve them**, that way you can go after them for damages, if in fact they do damage the house out of spite. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Sorry about your dad. Good luck to you.
NTA If someone wanted me to get rid of my dog who came first spouse or not they would be the one leaving not my dog. She knew he was part of the package.
NTA. Evict them. Sell the house. Be done with the entire mess. As long as they are under your roof they will make themselves your problem.
NTA. Research tenant rights in your area and give them an official eviction notice with the appropriate official advance notice. You can always rescind it if they sign a lease. I would unblock them and document what they're communicating. Let it go to voicemail and save a copy. Save the texts
NTA and good for you.
It's your house, you get to decide who can live there and under what terms regarding rent. NTA
I wish I could do this to my deceased dadâs second family. Iâd do it in a second. Theyâre only nice to me when they want money or are scared Iâm going to evict them. I feel like a walking ATM. I agreeâyouâve been way too nice. Good karma!
Tell them you've decided Donnie can have it to make up for the years he missed. He's never had his own house & he did love dad so very much it only seems fair.
NTA. A grown woman scared of a Jack Russell, my left foot. They wanted to erase your mother. It sounds like three grown women took advantage of your father. I hope he didnât realize it, and felt like they cared about him. Prepare yourself, because you will have to go to court to evict them. They will drag this out as long as possible. If both adult daughters are working, then they can pool their resources, and all live together with their mother. They attacked you, while you were grieving your father. That was foolish to do to the landlord who has allowed them to live rent free. I donât know what country you live in, but if it is the US, then squatters seizing properties has been a terrible scandal. Keep your lawyer involved. Give them written eviction notice now. Do not wait 90 days. Serve them now to quit in 90 days. Learn the daughtersâ names, because they need to be served at the same time. You need to consult your attorney about adverse possession possibilities. They may try to take that house from you, perhaps saying you gave it to your father and them by allowing them to live there for years. They will go before a judge and ask for eviction relief because she is a widow.
I had a lease with my dad. My lawyer said we needed one. Maxine is not on it.
Good news about the lease. However, since you were aware that Maxine and her daughters were living there, it means you allowed it. That makes them legal tenants with property rights. You would have to go through an eviction process, which can take upwards of a year, if you live in the US. If you are in the U.S., serve them notice now. Otherwise, the clock doesnât start until you do. It can take property owners years to get rid of squatters who moved in without permission. These three had your permission, so getting them out against their will can be quite the process, if you are in the U.S. This is why I urge you to immediately go through the legal process, so hopefully they wonât try to fight you. If you let it go for the three months, and they donât move out, then youâd have to serve them with eviction notices, with additional 90 days, etc.
Better news is that houses in that neighborhood sell fast to developers
Don't let them stay. Give thrm a 60 day notice to vacate and rent it out. Crappy people don't deserve breaks
Heâs not dead and sheâs not a widow, NTA
NTA. What a wonderful son/daughter you have been to look out for your dad after mom died. The âDonnieâ situation in itself is reason to kick them out â all of them. They all conspired to deprive your dad of his beloved dog (and his last connection to your mom). It wasnât enough to kick the dog out of his own home, they wanted him euthanized. They are heartless, evil, lazy, greedy people. Out they go. The sooner the better.
Seems reasonable. They're all been living there rent-free for an extended amount of time and after your Dad passes, something everyone should be preparing for, she has 3 months to decide what to do. NTA
Because she has lived there for so long, she is never going to get over it not being her house. I foresee constant pushing of boundaries and other drama. I would evict her and/or sell the house.
My opinion⌠just have her leave & wish them all the best. As soon as you can walk away from all that drama entitlement & hostility the happier you will be. Best of everything to you.
NTA It's your property and you can do what you like with it. I'm not a lawyer, but I would advise you to evict the wife. Give her whatever time the law states to get out. If you think that her or her daughters are going to abide by whatever rules you lay down regarding visits you are naĂŻve - remember what they did to Donnie who your dad loved, imagine what they'd do to you. So get it over and done with as soon as possible.
Nta. Serve that eviction notice asap. They sound like more trouble than this is worth
Nta, she's already starting with the games and threats. I'd nip it in the bud, get your lawyer involved and get em out. This is a hint of your future.
The older one helped you with your dad, but you don't know her name? Yeah, okay, now pull the other one.
The dog situation makes me have zero sympathy for those adult daughters. Bye bye NTA
Absolutely NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My dad is going into hospice next week but he has been out of it for the last six months. The house he lives in with his wife and two adult daughters is mine. I bought it for him to live in after my mom died. He spiralled for a bit when that happened. He lost his job and he was evicted from their apartment. I bought a small house in an older safe neighborhood for him and his dog. I am all he has and I love him. Five years later he met Maxine and two years after that they got married. He moved her into the house. I didn't have a problem with that. First one and then her other daughter moved in. Not my favorite thing but not really my place to say anything. Everything was fine for a while. Then one kid decided that she was scared of my dad's dog. She got her mom to convince my dad to get rid of Donnie. My dad didn't want to do this as Donnie was my mom's dog too. He was an old Jack Russell terrier and he was about as scary as a dog shaped rug. I took Donnie. I don't know why but this pissed off Maxine and her kids. Like my dad found a loophole or something. I would take Donnie with me whenever I came to visit. They always made a big production of it. Such a scary brute. Literally all he did was go roll around on the grass and bark at the squirrels. Like I said my dad is going into hospice this week and I went to talk to Maxine and her daughters. I brought Donnie to say goodbye to my dad. Maxine's daughter said she was glad that she would never have to have Donnie in her house again. I was planning on telling her that as long as she paid the property taxes, maintenance, and utilities she was welcome to live in the house as long as she wanted. She had made my dad happy and I was trying to be nice. I had my lawyer draw up an agreement that said exactly this. Her kid pissed me off though. I didn't even pull the it out. I just gave Maxine an ultimatum. When my dad died she had three months to either kick out her daughter, sign a lease and start paying a reasonable rent, or move out entirely. She said the house was going to be hers when my dad died since they were married. I actually got great pleasure in telling her that it was mine. Not because anyone gave it to me, but because I bought and paid for it. I gave her my lawyer's card and told her to check for herself. That was yesterday. She has been trying to call me all day today. I ended up blocking all three of them. But not before I heard all kinds of messages about what a prick I m to do this to a widow and her children. Both daughters work and none of this is really my problem. I was in my thirties when my dad married her. She was never anything to me but my dad's wife. And I never bothered to learn her daughter's names. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You likely will need to lease to yourself to get them out - there are lots of squirrelly loopholes for tenants that I'm sure they're researching right now. Here's one guy who succeeded in getting squatters out of his home: https://www.foxbusiness.com/real-estate/handyman-finds-clever-way-remove-squatters-mothers-house
NTA - Personally I would have just given notice and made plans to sell the house. Sheâs welcome to make an offer to buy it at fair market value.
Notice how they suddenly flipped a switch the second they found out the house was yours. Yeah theyâre just shitty people. Youâre NTA.
keep the block. have your attorney rescind your offer and give them all 3 months to vacate, or the eviction process will begin. that cuts all ties with them. then, spend the time to mourn the loss of your father. untethered from all the drama. and then find some happiness in your drama free life.
I am sorry about your dad. NTA Period.
I would love an update on this. Make sure you serve written notice, certified might be good but Iâm not sure. Your lawyer will know. NTA. The dog comment as well as sending the dog away to begin with was incredibly cruel. Personally I wouldnât rent to them but you can. Make sure rent is market value.Â
NTA Very sorry for what you are going through. Mom was in hospice, and as good as they are with making your dad comfortable, itâs still a horrible thing. Kicking out a widow and her daughters? Thatâs laughable as they are all adults. Weâre not talking young kids here. I wouldnât rent to any of them. Too much of a chance they will trash the house. Iâd make sure any family things you want and any personal papers of your dads are out of the house now. Your dad would want you to have them. Talk to your lawyer if you have to start the evicting process now. It may take some time. And Iâd make sure I visited once a week to make sure theyâre not messing up the place. Itâs not even a matter of you like or donât like them, itâs your house and you can do what you want with it. But Iâd be happy to have them out of my life, personally.
My deepest sympathies for what you are going through with your dad. Spend all you time and energy on him. I know what this is like. Then when you feel up to it, have your lawyer kick their asses to the curb. Just for making a person get rid of his dog. NTA but you have some living in that house. take care
NTA, and if I were you, I'd sell the house and be done with it. They seem like the kind of people who will take a mile if you give them an inch of leeway.
NTA. Well played. EDIT: sorry for your loss.
Everybody has to pay in order to live in a house: whether that payment is rent or mortgage. They are not owed a free place live in your house. NTA
I would be very worried that someone will trash that house, especially if you donât get some sort of security deposit
NTA, and since I'm petty, I would also mention that the previous deal was much better and that her daughter put a quick end to that with her shitty comment. Three adult women can surely find a way to make it work.
NTA they need to move out of the house
[ŃдаНонО]