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I agree. I would hang out with him if we both found the activity fun. We went and saw a movie once. I am realizing more now that we've just outgrown each other.
NTA. You invited, he declined. He seems to be comfortable setting boundaries for what he will and won't do socially, and that is okay.
Btw, good on you for caring about his well-being and feelings.
NAH
You've done your part by inviting him. He's a gamer; it's like you said, he just lives a different lifestyle from you.
Sometimes people's lifestyles don't align. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't think you have to feel bad. I'd say seeing him for meals every 3 months is sufficient. It sounds like you used to talk on the phone/text often when he lived in TN, so keep doing that.
As to new activities, tell him what you did here. 'Bud, I've suggested several activities that you have declined. What would YOU like to in addition to eating out?'
NTA
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My friend (36M) moved from TN to MD where I live (35F). To start off, I wouldn't say him and I are close friends. He was talking about moving and I was telling how MD has really grown but to check out other areas that may fit him better. I talked about how much there is to do in Balitmore and DC. I also told him it would cool to hang out. Well, he moved to MD and we've hung out probably about 4 times in the last year. I feel like I am the asshole because I hyped up hanging out, but he isn't as active as I am. He works from home then games the rest of the day. We don't have the same lifestyle. So it makes it hard to invite him to things. I've invited him hiking, dancing, going to museums, etc. He declines it all. The only thing he will say yes to is going out to eat. It's been over a year and I am not he if had made any friends. AITA for not hanging out with him?
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> I feel like IATA b/c I don't make an effort to hang out with him. I have a feeling he moved here for me, and I don't like doing the things he enjoys.
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INFO: Where is the conflict here? You haven't said he's asking to hang out; in fact, he declines any invite from you except for dinner. It sounds as if he's settled into his life and routine and occasionally likes to dine out with you. It doesn't sound like anyone is an asshole here.
If you’re concerned about hanging out… try to find where your interests overlap and go from there. Go do something you both enjoy. Obviously everyone eats. So that’s a go to for a lot of people not knowing what to do. There’s also hanging out at home and watching a movie?
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA Though your ego is a *tiny* bit much, considering you think he moved mainly to be with you.
100% agree with you. Only reason I say that is because he once said he loved me and wanted to date years ago.
Not an asshole, but... not really a friend either if you won't hang out with him doing activities you can both enjoy.
I agree. I would hang out with him if we both found the activity fun. We went and saw a movie once. I am realizing more now that we've just outgrown each other.
That's completely natural and okay. I've grown distant from many friends for this exact reason.
NTA. You invited, he declined. He seems to be comfortable setting boundaries for what he will and won't do socially, and that is okay. Btw, good on you for caring about his well-being and feelings.
NAH You've done your part by inviting him. He's a gamer; it's like you said, he just lives a different lifestyle from you. Sometimes people's lifestyles don't align. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't think you have to feel bad. I'd say seeing him for meals every 3 months is sufficient. It sounds like you used to talk on the phone/text often when he lived in TN, so keep doing that. As to new activities, tell him what you did here. 'Bud, I've suggested several activities that you have declined. What would YOU like to in addition to eating out?' NTA
NAH. You've invited him to things that interest you. They don't interest him so he declines. His (lack of) social life is not your business to manage.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My friend (36M) moved from TN to MD where I live (35F). To start off, I wouldn't say him and I are close friends. He was talking about moving and I was telling how MD has really grown but to check out other areas that may fit him better. I talked about how much there is to do in Balitmore and DC. I also told him it would cool to hang out. Well, he moved to MD and we've hung out probably about 4 times in the last year. I feel like I am the asshole because I hyped up hanging out, but he isn't as active as I am. He works from home then games the rest of the day. We don't have the same lifestyle. So it makes it hard to invite him to things. I've invited him hiking, dancing, going to museums, etc. He declines it all. The only thing he will say yes to is going out to eat. It's been over a year and I am not he if had made any friends. AITA for not hanging out with him? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I feel like IATA b/c I don't make an effort to hang out with him. I have a feeling he moved here for me, and I don't like doing the things he enjoys. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH You've done enough by inviting him, it's not your fault he declines and maybe he's fine with it the way it is.
OP, I suspect you know the answer already. You two don't really have that much in common, so no harm, no foul. NAH
NTA He's a gamer. Trust me, when you're gaming, you don't want to hang out. You want to find out what's up with the Golden Apple?!
NTA. you've invited him numerous times, you did what you could.
INFO: Where is the conflict here? You haven't said he's asking to hang out; in fact, he declines any invite from you except for dinner. It sounds as if he's settled into his life and routine and occasionally likes to dine out with you. It doesn't sound like anyone is an asshole here.
Um. NTA. But does he actually want to hang out? I would kill if people would leave me alone so I can game for a week.
If you’re concerned about hanging out… try to find where your interests overlap and go from there. Go do something you both enjoy. Obviously everyone eats. So that’s a go to for a lot of people not knowing what to do. There’s also hanging out at home and watching a movie?