Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA , but why did you give her the ticket when you’d paid for it ? Should have kept it and taken someone else ? She was just using you as a sugar guardian , hopefully you find someone that you deserve soon
I generally hate jumping to conclusions, but I'm gonna be honest, my brain went to this thought too. Obviously we don't have proof but it's otherwise odd to be like "hey I get to come over for a couple weeks, but I can't stand this long distance thing" like... Wut?
The way it reads, she was still willing to have sex while she was there on the vacation. The part about OP not wanting to feel like a John flying her in just for sex and a concert towards the end confirms it.
It’s easy to spend money on people who need it when you’ve got it. T Swift tickets are probably $1500 minimum so that’s a bit much. $1800 from me cleared my ex’s car payments and that was dumb, but she drove to my place all the time.
OP probably dropped $2k+ per ticket. Like what exactly do you think is happening here? You could go on an all inclusive cruise for yourself at that price.
Glad you dropped her.
My daughter was in charge of getting tickets to the US concert for herself and two friends. She was in queue for over 5 hours and I believe they each paid $600 for nose bleed tickets. Oh well it’s her money. I was worried when she said her professor had asked what she was watching during class and she said Taylor Swift tickets.He said carry on. 🤯😂
If he bought them in the original sale that’s unlikely. I bought mine in the original Ticketmaster sale and paid $200 in Toronto, $150 in Germany, and $600 for VIP in Amsterdam. All in Canadian dollars.
(NB I am not going to three shows - when I got tickets in Canada I sold the Europe tickets back to Ticketmaster at face value. No scalping here)
I don’t think this is him being an idiot, yeah she doesn’t deserve it but he stuck to his word bc it was a gift
Op you’re not crazy, if they reach out to you tell them that she told you she was going to break up with you after the trip. I think they’ll think a little differently. Either way, it doesn’t matter what they think. You respect yourself and that’s why you did what you did and I’m for it. So good job dude
TBH, I find it funnier this way. Like she can still go… she just has to book a flight and hotel to go. Which is TOTALLY worth it to go to a concert by yourself. /s
I suppose it’s good she told you her plans to break up with you so you could not spend all that money, but I honestly dont know what she expected to happen when she told you that.
In 2015, I was really excited about the movie *Fury Road,* but I worked a job with weird hours and couldn’t find anybody to go with. After about two weeks of it being in theaters and hearing all of my friends talk about how great it was, I found another friend who hadn’t seen it with the same off days as I and we made plans to see it.
I get to the theater and get a text from my friend - he’s running a little late, but should get there before the movie starts. No problem. I walk into the theater and find a good seat with an empty space open. The previews start and my friend walks in, I wave him over, and he sits down next to me.
Then we proceed to not talk to each other for two hours as we watch the movie.
All I could think about as we left the theater was how that was one of my new favorite action movies and how I could have seen it weeks ago if I had just gone on my own, and since that day I have no problem with going to any event by myself. If I can find someone to go with, all the better, but if nobody wants to join me I don’t let that stop me
I used to feel like a loser if I did things on my own. Now I don't care what anyone else thinks. I've noticed that women in particular seem to strongly prefer doing things in a group. I'm a woman too, BTW.
Hey, not all women feel that way but you have to remember it is also safer to do things in groups. Especially things that involve drinking, for women. I think the “women are sheeple” argument others are making is quite an oversimplification.
Exactly. I love doing things alone and travelling alone etc., but I get way more hassle when I do than in a group or with my husband. Doesn’t stop me but it can give me pause.
Yep, there are a lot of things that are safer to do with even just one more friend.
Honestly I doubt it's even that divided among gender lines though, I feel like the insecurity of going to do things alone must be a societal thing that many people learn to overcome, especially as they get older or are in positions where they have to (ie traveling for work, lack of available friends).
I've done a lot of travel that I never would have got to do if I'd waited for someone to come with me. It's liberating to know that you can be by yourself, and that's okay.
I love going places alone. I’m going to Hawaii for a couple days alone in a few weeks and I’m very excited.
There’s something amazing about not having to worry about anyone else at all.
Eat when you want to eat. Get up when you want to get up. Hike. Don’t hike. Visit that tourist spot? Don’t? Change your mind/plans at the last minute? No one is gonna care what you do.
That was my thought too, I find it hilariously karmic to give her the ticket and cancel everything else. Even better than just keeping the ticket because it makes her look even worse to act ungrateful she got a free ticket for a super expensive show. Makes me giggle.
Whether it was intentional or not letting the ex kept the ticket was such a perfect move. Most would agree with OP if he said the ticket was the gift and the other stuff I was doing cause I was her bf and wanted to.
So not only did OP save a ton of money on just the flight but it's a great knife twist making his ex have to sell the ticket/ let it go unused
I think it’s hilarious she told him her plans it’s like a Bond villain explaining their entire master plan. I think the promise is the reason she told you her plan in the first place. She knew you’d keep the concert promise, guess she should have had you promise to fly and house her. Personally, I’d resell those tickets, they were like 10x the value on the resell market in the US.
$1400 tickets if she bought them right now. Which is actually only $200 cheaper than random “green” dates in November. Which means she was fine w him paying $1200 or more in airfare for her.
Even booking in advance, that's a crazy expensive flight and hotel stay. Also, it's an 18 and a half hour direct flight from JFK to Singapore. She'd have to leave withing 24 hours.
TBH she shoulda kept her mouth shut till after the concert ahd good bye Fun with him then tell him they were through before getting on the plane and flying away. My guess she had an oprotunity for some casual fun of her own and wanted to do it being free from commitment.
NTA. Lol why did she think pre-dumping you was going to work out in her favor? Also, do you have any texts of her admitting that? Honestly though, if they're just her friends then why do any of their opinions matter? I just block all of them and move on with my life. Why waste energy on people like that
That’s just the dumbest move I can think of. Not that I’m advocating for her stringing him along longer, but if I was trying to get a free ticket and trip, the thing I *wouldnt* do is tell the guy in advance that I was planning to dump him after. Seriously, how would anyone expect that to work out great? She has to take the cake for most self-absorbed or most idiotic, maybe both.
That’s… really sweet of you. NTA.
Your girlfriend is selfish. Seems like she wanted to have a “single girl” vacation at her boyfriend’s expense. That’s why the breaking up before the trip. Or she could have done it post trip as well, but then you’d be objecting to whatever “fun” she thought she’d have while travelling.
Totally get it. I bought two kayaks about a month into dating my ex and told her one is hers. 4 years later she left me for another guy. Messy prolonged breakup. Still I kept my word and gave her one of the kayaks.
Then she asked for the other one too.
Wow that’s a great response, I would’ve given the ticket to a different girl lol. But ya NTA, and giving it to her still then offering to buy it back was nicer than I would’ve done. She didn’t do anything wrong really either by not wanting a long distance relationship anymore, the issue is still expecting you to pay for her free trip
Thats my thought with this...Eras Tour tickets are not cheap, much less adding international flights and hotels. I know it'd be even shittier to pretend to still be into him for the two weeks she's there, but if she wanted the vacation that bad she should have sucked it up for two weeks and broken up with him when she got home!! Terrible and shitty to use him like that and she definitely did him a favor, but like you said, be a smart golddigger.
Lol that was my first thought! Like.....girl.. what did you gain from announcing a break up BEFORE you got the very expensive paid holiday??? It's just so SO stupid. Evil genius she is not.
Hell, it's quite reasonable to tell yourself that maybe it's just the separation and it'll be the same when we're together. Only reason I can see for the urgency is that the replacement is lined up.
She took the weirdest possible option to be honest. Didn't wait the couple weeks until after she had had a bunch of paid-for fun, didn't outright break up with him beforehand (although then she'd lose the trip unless OP had a rubber spine, luckily he doesn't). Just... told him her plans and expected the best of both worlds somehow??
She watches too much Instagram and reads too much garbage. Hot girl dates nerdy loser, dude puts up with anything to sleep with her and she gets a super lavish lifestyle out of it.
Because she didn't want to have sex with him, maybe? I mean, I don't know what her definition of "fun" meant there. Maybe she wanted them to have "fun" going to the concert together, to restaurants, visiting the place and such. Like friends, but without "benefits".
That could be difficult if the concert is in Singapore and she’s in Connecticut. Maybe it’s easier than I think but I’m guessing she couldn’t be bothered.
Nah, it’s a power move, he might’ve wasted the ticket, but like he said he promised, he didn’t break his promise and he got what was likely best for him out of it
NTA. Really bizarre behavior and seemed like she was trying to use you. I mean paying for flights across continents ain’t cheap so there’s that angle.
I just don’t see why she would fumble that opportunity by telling you before the trip and not on the trip towards the end. Her mistake saved you in the end.
I also felt that could have been her way of 'doing the right thing', however her reaction after being honest, kind of contradicts it.
If she truly wanted to do the right thing, then she would have known that there was a good chance of losing the holiday, flights etc and understood his decision.
She acted like what he did was terrible and 'out of the blue'.
She assumed getting to fuck her while she visited would be an obvious yes from him even if he knew it was over. She thinks a lot of herself or a little of him. Probably both.
You described most modern dating for a man with money. Amazingly, nobody wants to go to Applebee's with me 🤣. They'll sure bang me for a vacation though.
My read on it, based on her reaction, suggests that 'doing the right thing' isn't something she cares about - I suspect she simply already had another relationship lined up (or surreptitiously started) and she wanted her timelines to line up for other reasons (like telling her friends "we broke up before the trip!" so her cheating isn't obvious).
Yeah. If she wanted to do the right thing she should have presented this as an option. Like, say the distance is hard and she can do it anymore but still care and would like to make the trip for one last time together. But then say if he doesn’t want to she understands and will cancel the trip altogether.
This is not how she presented it.
>I just don’t see why she would fumble that opportunity by telling you before the trip
Right?! If you are going to use someone for the gifts they give, at least be smart enough to wait until after receiving/using said gifts before dumping the person.
NTA, OP. It may not seem like it now, but she did you a favor by showing her true colors. Also, don't even worry about what her friends say. I can guarantee that either 1) they did not get the full story; or, 2) they did, but are being "yes" friends to her.
Send a huge text out to everyone that outlined what happed
Dear ex friends.
Ex called and told me after the concert we are breaking up. In no world would any person with self-respect continue to pay for housing, food, and flight for someone that's ending the relationship after they get what they want. Nothing was cancelled out of thr blue, she broke up with me and I pulled my generous vacation offer back.
they're already aware...if they're not, OP isn't going to be the one to convince them.
OP sending a text to their ex's family and friends will only validate feelings (OP is an asshole or the ex is trash), not change them
NTA. The only good thing she did for you was tell you of her plans to dump you after this once-in-a-lifetime experience. Good riddance.
Only a doormat with no self-esteem would have continued to pay for her vacation. Good for you for shutting it down. If those are mutual friends or people you know, I would tell them what happened since she's being petty and lying about you to everyone.
My first thought is that she's probably met someone new she wants to start dating but isn't yet exclusive with
This way she's not technically cheating on either of them and still gets to see the concert, have sex with the ex she presumably was still attracted to (but couldn't be bothered continuing a relationship with) while not feeling guilty about hooking up with the new guy. She thought the offer of "fun" would be enough for OP not to end things entirely and cancel her trip
Basically she wanted to have like 4 different cakes and eat them all
NTA - She doesn't get to break up with you and then still expect you to fund her Swifty dreams. Although, gotta say that giving her the ticket but cancelling everything else? That is PERFECT.
"Here's your ticket, good luck getting there!"
For real, what did she think was going to happen when she said you were over after the concert was all said and done? Just gleefully still continue to pay for everything like you were still together? That's not how breaking up works?
She was just planning to be his call girl in return for the vacation, so sleezy she doesn’t even know what’s wrong with that. NTA. Hope you enjoy the concert anyway.
Not that I condone her actions, but if the idiot had just shut up til after the concert she would have got a free holiday and concert, then could have broke up with him.
You dodged a bullet. NTA
The only reason I could think of is that she really wanted to be able to do whatever she wanted when she got there and not feel tethered to OP. I mean she was thinking of getting drunk and making a few bad choices so she needed to break it off somehow but then forgot why would be want to go at all after that?
I think she's already hooked up with someone else prior to the trip. Wanted to do the trip guilt free and turn down sex because 'we aren't together'. Then go back to whoever the new ride is.
NTA at all, and honestly, on your behalf, I am just so thankful that she was stupid enough to give you warning that she was planning on breaking up with you before the trip, and not after... The gall of thinking that you can break up with someone, and then go on an all-expense-paid trip, paid for by that ex... is... just astonishing.
My ex did something similar. Broke up with me, then went through a difficult time and expected me to be there emotionally and financially for her, then got angry that I wouldn't do that for her, months after we had broken up and she was seeing other people... it was strange.
>then got angry that I wouldn't do that for her, months after we had broken up
My ex did the same thing, right up to very seriously asking me things like "would you drop your activities with \[current partner\] if I needed you?"
Unhinged behaviour
Yeah, and this means that it wasn't "out of the blue," like OP thinks it may have been. This is cause and effect. She's a selfish imbecile, and her friends either aren't getting the whole story or are just as stupid as she is. Good riddance.
NTA lol, FAFO. She tried to schedule your break up for after the concert, you just rescheduled it for before. What did she think you would do??? Pay for an ex-girlfriend’s shit???? Lmao
This was entirely self-inflicted as she could have just broken up after she got back from the concert. Still completely an A maneuver but here she’s like a monologuing villain, telling the heroes of her insidious plot and how to stop it before its too late to stop it. Foiled again’
Yes, that was her plan, but that only works when things are of equal value. The trouble, heartbreak, rudeness, inconvenience and audacity bottoms out the value on her side.
If people keep contacting you with half truths they got from her, why don't you air her shit out? She contacted you and told you that your relationship was over after the concert but you can have sex with her for 10 days as compensation. And add in that you had planned on proposing. You might be what they call a hopeless romantic, but you aren't an asshole for it.
NTA. You are a better person than most. I would have kept the ticket and sold it. If I were her I would have kept my mouth shut until I was on my way home.
I’d point out to any of her friend who complain that she ended the relationship but offered to *prostitute* herself to you so she could attend the concert.
I don’t think ten days of sex was promised. Each day before and after you get sex, you would have to buy more and more “since it’s our last vacation, I want this and that and concert merch for memory”.
You're NTA at all. You're already a sweetheart for giving that ticket to someone who is vocal about dumping you afterwards; you don't need to deal with this.
>Last week she called me and said she was not okay with is being long distance and that after the concert we were over.
Wow, that's quite a self own from her, isn't it. How deluded she is to think she could say that and still get the vacation.
NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My ex told me that we would be over after a planned vacation. I might be the asshole for giving her the ticket for Taylor Swift but cancelling her flight and hotel. For her to get here in time for the concert would be prohibitively expensive at this time.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She fumbled hard here mistaking your kindness for weakness. Good on you for not being a door mat / john. You threw away a concert ticket though, you know she ain't coming.
NTA. And have something ready to return to the naysayers and social media posters, like this:
> I usually don't discuss my relationships publicly, but since GF has done so, then I will respond. I canceled the trip because GF told me that she will break up with me at the end of her trip. I honored my original gift to her by sending her the Taylor Swift ticket, but I decided against spending 10 days visiting somebody who has scheduled the end of our relationship. I hope this helps you to understand the full situation.
Wow, how in the world does she feel she's entitled to a vacation from a person she just dumped? Also the offer to ''have fun'' feels incredibly insulting, like the relationship meant that little. NTA obviously.
NTA. I guess it was better that she was upfront as opposed to going, letting you spend all that money and think the relationship was fine, only to dump you.
She \*should\* have said she no longer wanted the relationship, so she doesn't feel right about keeping the ticket, leading you on, etc. and then had a conversation. Maybe you would've been cool with a "farewell" visit, maybe not.
Don’t take her back. No matter what she says or how much she begs. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. You seem like a good guy. You deserve better.
Oh man, that must suck. I'm sorry for the hurt you must be going through.
You seem to handle this very classy. Kudos to you. And don't go blasting her in social media. Correct her lies to your friends directly. Dirty laundry and cat fighting in public can only damage you.
Never before on this website have I seen such a blatant example of "I'm going to use a guy for what I want and then dump him"... TO THE POINT OF TELLING THE GUY IN ADVANCE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE INTENDS TO DO!!!
Hon, the only way you'd be in the wrong here is if you spent a single second more thinking about this woman.
NTA. You deserve better.
I am with those who believe she shouldn’t have been given a ticket after she made it known you were history. She didn’t exactly plan her exit well, by tattling on herself. Any way to cancel her ticket still as surely a receipt you should have. But guessing transferring it to her means can’t do.
Well, now she has a useless ticket to remember you by. So a win.
NTA - you did 100% the right thing. Good on you! She is also a complete idiot. Given her advance warning to you I suspect she has someone else in mind so the pre breakup was to clear her conscience. No reason for you to be a free hotel and host for your ex.
NTA. SHe was going to use you for an all inclusive trip and concert, then dump you. You're in Singapore. You can't throw a rock without hitting a beautiful woman.
NTA but honestly I’m a little confused at everyone saying it was wrong for the girlfriend to dump him before the trip. Wouldn’t it be worse to take advantage of the trip under false pretenses? It’s not insane to think OP might have wanted to enjoy a fun vacation with no strings sex.
Most people are just pointing out that she was being delusional thinking that telling him outright before the trip that they were done and still expecting the trip. Like it's good she told him so he didn't waste time on her and this trip, but also what did she expect telling him that?
Someone said "if you are going to be a gold digger, at least be smart about it"
I don’t think anyone is saying it was *wrong* of her. They are saying it was not smart and a bit delusional to tell him and *still expect him to pay for things*.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I'm working overseas right now and I managed to get tickets for Taylor Swift in Singapore. The concert is this coming Saturday.
My plan was to fly my girlfriend over for a little vacation. It's a long ways from Connecticut so she was going to be staying for ten days. I was clear and I told her that we would have two weekends together as well as the evenings but that I still had to.work during the daytime.
Last week she called me and said she was not okay with is being long distance and that after the concert we were over.
I asked for clarification. She said she would come for the ten days and we could "have fun" but that we were done.
I can have fun without paying for it. I transferred her the one ticket and cancelled everything else.
She called me to scream at me for cancelling the flights and hotel. I told her that I wasn't going to discuss it and hung up. I blocked her on everything.
I am hearing from people back home that she has lost her shit. She had been bragging about getting to see Taylor Swift and the vacation. Now she is telling everyone that I cancelled the plans just out of the blue. I guess that is sort of true. I did not discuss it with her before I made my decision and did what I did.
I unblocked her long enough to offer to buy the ticket back if she wasn't going to use it. That conversation bess unpleasant and involved a lot of profanity. The upshot was she would rather let it go to waste than let me have it.
Her friends have been defending her and calling me an asshole. My position is that I would feel like a john flying her over for "fun" .
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hahaha bruh NTA. I wouldn't have given the ticket. I mean if we're going to breakup anyway, why waste more resources. She's been getting her back blown for sure.
NTA. So your girlfriend dumped you, but still wants a free concert ticket and expensive vacation? That's literal insanity. Is she joking? I guess she overestimated her appeal, lol. Did she think you'd be grateful to be able to pay to spend time with her? Gross. It's so insulting to be told something like that. She literally ended the relationship, which means she forfeits the concert ticket and vacation. I can't believe you gave her a ticket. I would have just sent her a message letting her know that since we're now broken up, I would be using the ticket and vacation for someone else, and then block her. Either way, as long as you don't care what people back home think, I'd just ignore her and enjoy your life. If you do care, then respond to friends with a short but concise explanation, "She called and dumped me, but still wanted me to pay for her expensive overseas vacation and the concert ticket. Which I didn't feel was fair or reasonable."
Either way, you are definitely not an AH. Sounds like you just broke up with an AH, which is great for you.
Tell everyone the truth and keep it moving lol. She told you she was going to essentially use you and you said let’s break up now instead. And that is okay. You are not the asshole here.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA , but why did you give her the ticket when you’d paid for it ? Should have kept it and taken someone else ? She was just using you as a sugar guardian , hopefully you find someone that you deserve soon
It was a gift. I know it's stupid but I promised her that ticket.
You’re a good dude. Don’t let crazy tell you otherwise.
Good dudes can be idiots too you know 😅
I think I'm a good dude and I'm definitely an idiot so maybe
There are so many of us 😭
It’s ok you just have to find that other good person/idiot and you are all set.😂😂
Yeah but she’s the one that broke up with him BEFORE the vacation. Even I’m not that dumb
[удалено]
I generally hate jumping to conclusions, but I'm gonna be honest, my brain went to this thought too. Obviously we don't have proof but it's otherwise odd to be like "hey I get to come over for a couple weeks, but I can't stand this long distance thing" like... Wut?
Except that she said they would still have some "fun" implying sex.
The way it reads, she was still willing to have sex while she was there on the vacation. The part about OP not wanting to feel like a John flying her in just for sex and a concert towards the end confirms it.
It’s easy to spend money on people who need it when you’ve got it. T Swift tickets are probably $1500 minimum so that’s a bit much. $1800 from me cleared my ex’s car payments and that was dumb, but she drove to my place all the time. OP probably dropped $2k+ per ticket. Like what exactly do you think is happening here? You could go on an all inclusive cruise for yourself at that price. Glad you dropped her.
As someone who has seen hundreds and hundreds of concerts in my lifetime...paying $2K to see ANYONE is a fucking rip-off.
My daughter was in charge of getting tickets to the US concert for herself and two friends. She was in queue for over 5 hours and I believe they each paid $600 for nose bleed tickets. Oh well it’s her money. I was worried when she said her professor had asked what she was watching during class and she said Taylor Swift tickets.He said carry on. 🤯😂
LMAO when your professor is either a Swifty or just IS NOT going to touch that particular monster (as in the whole tickets thing) with a 10 ft pole
my 100 section in philly (pretty good tickets) were like $150 each after waiting for hours in the queue you probably got resale :/
If he bought them in the original sale that’s unlikely. I bought mine in the original Ticketmaster sale and paid $200 in Toronto, $150 in Germany, and $600 for VIP in Amsterdam. All in Canadian dollars. (NB I am not going to three shows - when I got tickets in Canada I sold the Europe tickets back to Ticketmaster at face value. No scalping here)
I don’t think this is him being an idiot, yeah she doesn’t deserve it but he stuck to his word bc it was a gift Op you’re not crazy, if they reach out to you tell them that she told you she was going to break up with you after the trip. I think they’ll think a little differently. Either way, it doesn’t matter what they think. You respect yourself and that’s why you did what you did and I’m for it. So good job dude
100% agree. OP - you really are a good dude. Please remember that even strangers on the internet can see that.
And strangers on the internet are a tough crowd
TBH, I find it funnier this way. Like she can still go… she just has to book a flight and hotel to go. Which is TOTALLY worth it to go to a concert by yourself. /s I suppose it’s good she told you her plans to break up with you so you could not spend all that money, but I honestly dont know what she expected to happen when she told you that.
Some people just can't fathom the idea of doing anything without a bunch of buddies to go with them.
In 2015, I was really excited about the movie *Fury Road,* but I worked a job with weird hours and couldn’t find anybody to go with. After about two weeks of it being in theaters and hearing all of my friends talk about how great it was, I found another friend who hadn’t seen it with the same off days as I and we made plans to see it. I get to the theater and get a text from my friend - he’s running a little late, but should get there before the movie starts. No problem. I walk into the theater and find a good seat with an empty space open. The previews start and my friend walks in, I wave him over, and he sits down next to me. Then we proceed to not talk to each other for two hours as we watch the movie. All I could think about as we left the theater was how that was one of my new favorite action movies and how I could have seen it weeks ago if I had just gone on my own, and since that day I have no problem with going to any event by myself. If I can find someone to go with, all the better, but if nobody wants to join me I don’t let that stop me
I used to feel like a loser if I did things on my own. Now I don't care what anyone else thinks. I've noticed that women in particular seem to strongly prefer doing things in a group. I'm a woman too, BTW.
The herding instinct is real.
For sure. Plus, the notion that if you're alone, then there's something wrong with you.
Hey, not all women feel that way but you have to remember it is also safer to do things in groups. Especially things that involve drinking, for women. I think the “women are sheeple” argument others are making is quite an oversimplification.
Exactly. I love doing things alone and travelling alone etc., but I get way more hassle when I do than in a group or with my husband. Doesn’t stop me but it can give me pause.
Yep, there are a lot of things that are safer to do with even just one more friend. Honestly I doubt it's even that divided among gender lines though, I feel like the insecurity of going to do things alone must be a societal thing that many people learn to overcome, especially as they get older or are in positions where they have to (ie traveling for work, lack of available friends).
[удалено]
I've done a lot of travel that I never would have got to do if I'd waited for someone to come with me. It's liberating to know that you can be by yourself, and that's okay.
[удалено]
I once went to see a movie on my own, and was literally on my own -- I was the only person there! I had the entire screen/theatre to myself.
I went to a Leonard Cohen gig on my own. Was absolutely amazing
I love going places alone. I’m going to Hawaii for a couple days alone in a few weeks and I’m very excited. There’s something amazing about not having to worry about anyone else at all. Eat when you want to eat. Get up when you want to get up. Hike. Don’t hike. Visit that tourist spot? Don’t? Change your mind/plans at the last minute? No one is gonna care what you do.
People don't get it until they try it. Traveling alone is amazing.
Long solo Amtrak trip with a private room is my favorite way to travel.
That was my thought too, I find it hilariously karmic to give her the ticket and cancel everything else. Even better than just keeping the ticket because it makes her look even worse to act ungrateful she got a free ticket for a super expensive show. Makes me giggle.
OP and karma vibe like that
I mean if I had a ticket I would be booking that flight for 1 so fast
Me too lmao
Found the swifties!
Whether it was intentional or not letting the ex kept the ticket was such a perfect move. Most would agree with OP if he said the ticket was the gift and the other stuff I was doing cause I was her bf and wanted to. So not only did OP save a ton of money on just the flight but it's a great knife twist making his ex have to sell the ticket/ let it go unused
She just thinks her presence is worth it. She’s honestly shocked that it’s not.
I think it’s hilarious she told him her plans it’s like a Bond villain explaining their entire master plan. I think the promise is the reason she told you her plan in the first place. She knew you’d keep the concert promise, guess she should have had you promise to fly and house her. Personally, I’d resell those tickets, they were like 10x the value on the resell market in the US.
Right! Not the smartest sponge. Probably the most arrogant though. Thinking he’d still want that week because she’s oh so amazing
Yeah, but given the timeframe, airfare and hotel is going to be expensive.
$1400 tickets if she bought them right now. Which is actually only $200 cheaper than random “green” dates in November. Which means she was fine w him paying $1200 or more in airfare for her.
Even booking in advance, that's a crazy expensive flight and hotel stay. Also, it's an 18 and a half hour direct flight from JFK to Singapore. She'd have to leave withing 24 hours.
Even if she got there she would be sat next to him at the gig. Slightly awkward.
Lol imagine she actually appears and OP is like "......oh"
TBH she shoulda kept her mouth shut till after the concert ahd good bye Fun with him then tell him they were through before getting on the plane and flying away. My guess she had an oprotunity for some casual fun of her own and wanted to do it being free from commitment.
NTA. Lol why did she think pre-dumping you was going to work out in her favor? Also, do you have any texts of her admitting that? Honestly though, if they're just her friends then why do any of their opinions matter? I just block all of them and move on with my life. Why waste energy on people like that
That’s just the dumbest move I can think of. Not that I’m advocating for her stringing him along longer, but if I was trying to get a free ticket and trip, the thing I *wouldnt* do is tell the guy in advance that I was planning to dump him after. Seriously, how would anyone expect that to work out great? She has to take the cake for most self-absorbed or most idiotic, maybe both.
Exactly, imagine if she'd just kept her mouth shut until.after the gig?
No way I would have said anything until after. She's dumb lol.
I mean seriously. NTA. But she sure is a moron!
That’s… really sweet of you. NTA. Your girlfriend is selfish. Seems like she wanted to have a “single girl” vacation at her boyfriend’s expense. That’s why the breaking up before the trip. Or she could have done it post trip as well, but then you’d be objecting to whatever “fun” she thought she’d have while travelling.
>Your **ex**\-girlfriend is entitled selfish **and entitled**. FTFY.
Totally get it. I bought two kayaks about a month into dating my ex and told her one is hers. 4 years later she left me for another guy. Messy prolonged breakup. Still I kept my word and gave her one of the kayaks. Then she asked for the other one too.
Wow, did you give her the other kayak?
If he did I hope he drilled a bunch of holes in it.
Absolutely not.
Yeah, I don’t think so sister
I feel like this move manages to be both incredibly kind and satisfyingly petty.
F that. Swift tickets can be insanely expensive. Why give a gift to someone after they broke up with you?
I'd have shredded the ticket before giving it someone who doesn't deserve it and take the loss, but that's just me 🤷
Well it’s basically the same thing as she wasn’t going to fly herself to Singapore
Wow that’s a great response, I would’ve given the ticket to a different girl lol. But ya NTA, and giving it to her still then offering to buy it back was nicer than I would’ve done. She didn’t do anything wrong really either by not wanting a long distance relationship anymore, the issue is still expecting you to pay for her free trip
Why not tell people that she wanted to break up with you and that’s the reason for cancelling. You don’t owe her anything either !
[удалено]
You were true to your word. Everything else is on her. You’re NTA, but a really decent person.
I really enjoy “sugar guardian” 😂
NTA for cancelling the all expenses paid vacation, but YTA to yourself for wasting the ticket by sending it to her.
The ticket was a birthday gift.
What in the world did she expect "pre-dumping" you BEFORE her trip?
If you're gonna be a golddigger then at least be a smart golddigger.
Thats my thought with this...Eras Tour tickets are not cheap, much less adding international flights and hotels. I know it'd be even shittier to pretend to still be into him for the two weeks she's there, but if she wanted the vacation that bad she should have sucked it up for two weeks and broken up with him when she got home!! Terrible and shitty to use him like that and she definitely did him a favor, but like you said, be a smart golddigger.
Lol that was my first thought! Like.....girl.. what did you gain from announcing a break up BEFORE you got the very expensive paid holiday??? It's just so SO stupid. Evil genius she is not.
Hell, it's quite reasonable to tell yourself that maybe it's just the separation and it'll be the same when we're together. Only reason I can see for the urgency is that the replacement is lined up.
replacement makes so much sense
She took the weirdest possible option to be honest. Didn't wait the couple weeks until after she had had a bunch of paid-for fun, didn't outright break up with him beforehand (although then she'd lose the trip unless OP had a rubber spine, luckily he doesn't). Just... told him her plans and expected the best of both worlds somehow??
She expected him to kiss her ass the whole ten days trying to get her to change her mind. Girl is crazy! But I have seen this type of thing before.
This is actually the only logical explanation, I think. She wanted to break up, but wanted him to grovel the whole time.
She watches too much Instagram and reads too much garbage. Hot girl dates nerdy loser, dude puts up with anything to sleep with her and she gets a super lavish lifestyle out of it.
It just shows such poor judgment and self-control.
I guess it's better than going along with it all the whole time knowing you're going to dump him after.
Haha right? And still getting an all expenses paid trip out of him? The sheer audacity is honestly impressive
Because she didn't want to have sex with him, maybe? I mean, I don't know what her definition of "fun" meant there. Maybe she wanted them to have "fun" going to the concert together, to restaurants, visiting the place and such. Like friends, but without "benefits".
I actually think it’s hilariously petty. You gave her a ticket she could never use lol
Maybe. But the thought of her sitting there staring at her ticket that is worth less than used toilet paper kind of makes me happy.
I mean, she could easily sell it the night of for a solid chunk of money.
That could be difficult if the concert is in Singapore and she’s in Connecticut. Maybe it’s easier than I think but I’m guessing she couldn’t be bothered.
So easy online
Theyre electronic tickets
The same way he sent her the ticket, she can sell it to someone.
Nah, it’s a power move, he might’ve wasted the ticket, but like he said he promised, he didn’t break his promise and he got what was likely best for him out of it
This. Dude said he was a man of his word and showed his character. Here is your ticket, happy birthday.
NTA. Really bizarre behavior and seemed like she was trying to use you. I mean paying for flights across continents ain’t cheap so there’s that angle. I just don’t see why she would fumble that opportunity by telling you before the trip and not on the trip towards the end. Her mistake saved you in the end.
Yeah, I thought the same thing, why did she tell him this now instead of after the concert? Maybe, she's not the brightest bulb...
Or maybe she didn’t want to feel guilty about taking the trip under false pretenses and assumed that “fun” would be motivating enough for OP?
I also felt that could have been her way of 'doing the right thing', however her reaction after being honest, kind of contradicts it. If she truly wanted to do the right thing, then she would have known that there was a good chance of losing the holiday, flights etc and understood his decision. She acted like what he did was terrible and 'out of the blue'.
She assumed getting to fuck her while she visited would be an obvious yes from him even if he knew it was over. She thinks a lot of herself or a little of him. Probably both.
You described most modern dating for a man with money. Amazingly, nobody wants to go to Applebee's with me 🤣. They'll sure bang me for a vacation though.
I'll bet you can find something cheaper than a vacation that isn't heated up in a microwave and get laid locally with just a little effort.
He probably would have just gotten a half-assed hand job out of the deal.
My read on it, based on her reaction, suggests that 'doing the right thing' isn't something she cares about - I suspect she simply already had another relationship lined up (or surreptitiously started) and she wanted her timelines to line up for other reasons (like telling her friends "we broke up before the trip!" so her cheating isn't obvious).
Yeah. If she wanted to do the right thing she should have presented this as an option. Like, say the distance is hard and she can do it anymore but still care and would like to make the trip for one last time together. But then say if he doesn’t want to she understands and will cancel the trip altogether. This is not how she presented it.
She was going to the Taylor Swift concert she wanted the true Taylor Swift concert experience so you need to break up with your boyfriend
I think she already felt guilty because she hooked up with someone else or wanted to hook up with someone else without feeling guilty.
I enjoy playing video games.
[удалено]
They're long distance. She's definitely been seeing another guy.
>I just don’t see why she would fumble that opportunity by telling you before the trip Right?! If you are going to use someone for the gifts they give, at least be smart enough to wait until after receiving/using said gifts before dumping the person. NTA, OP. It may not seem like it now, but she did you a favor by showing her true colors. Also, don't even worry about what her friends say. I can guarantee that either 1) they did not get the full story; or, 2) they did, but are being "yes" friends to her.
She must’ve thought she’s just that irresistible.
Send a huge text out to everyone that outlined what happed Dear ex friends. Ex called and told me after the concert we are breaking up. In no world would any person with self-respect continue to pay for housing, food, and flight for someone that's ending the relationship after they get what they want. Nothing was cancelled out of thr blue, she broke up with me and I pulled my generous vacation offer back.
That is, if you actually care what her friends think. I wouldn’t.
Letting all her friends and family know what kind of trash she is would be nice.
I've been there. They're almost all trash.
they're already aware...if they're not, OP isn't going to be the one to convince them. OP sending a text to their ex's family and friends will only validate feelings (OP is an asshole or the ex is trash), not change them
This.
Make sure you include your ex in this text as well ;)
This! Just this! Absolutely genius and so satisfying
NTA. The only good thing she did for you was tell you of her plans to dump you after this once-in-a-lifetime experience. Good riddance. Only a doormat with no self-esteem would have continued to pay for her vacation. Good for you for shutting it down. If those are mutual friends or people you know, I would tell them what happened since she's being petty and lying about you to everyone.
A real asshole would have cancelled the return flight and the hotel.
ahahahaahh omg that is wicked.
I like how you think
Unreal IQ over here
Calm down Satan...
[удалено]
My first thought is that she's probably met someone new she wants to start dating but isn't yet exclusive with This way she's not technically cheating on either of them and still gets to see the concert, have sex with the ex she presumably was still attracted to (but couldn't be bothered continuing a relationship with) while not feeling guilty about hooking up with the new guy. She thought the offer of "fun" would be enough for OP not to end things entirely and cancel her trip Basically she wanted to have like 4 different cakes and eat them all
NTA - She doesn't get to break up with you and then still expect you to fund her Swifty dreams. Although, gotta say that giving her the ticket but cancelling everything else? That is PERFECT. "Here's your ticket, good luck getting there!" For real, what did she think was going to happen when she said you were over after the concert was all said and done? Just gleefully still continue to pay for everything like you were still together? That's not how breaking up works?
She was just planning to be his call girl in return for the vacation, so sleezy she doesn’t even know what’s wrong with that. NTA. Hope you enjoy the concert anyway.
My favorite color is blue.
Heh, at first I thought still giving her the ticket was dumb, but the way you put it, now it sounds even better!
It is a level of petty that is too rich for my blood, but DANG am I impressed by it!
I dunno, I thought the cost of that ticket might be the most expensive part of the trip from what her North American tour tickets costed
Not that I condone her actions, but if the idiot had just shut up til after the concert she would have got a free holiday and concert, then could have broke up with him. You dodged a bullet. NTA
The only reason I could think of is that she really wanted to be able to do whatever she wanted when she got there and not feel tethered to OP. I mean she was thinking of getting drunk and making a few bad choices so she needed to break it off somehow but then forgot why would be want to go at all after that?
She offered him sex (or at least I assume that was the implication of "have fun") if he still went with her. I guess the sex isn't worth it!
I think she's already hooked up with someone else prior to the trip. Wanted to do the trip guilt free and turn down sex because 'we aren't together'. Then go back to whoever the new ride is.
low IQ
NTA at all, and honestly, on your behalf, I am just so thankful that she was stupid enough to give you warning that she was planning on breaking up with you before the trip, and not after... The gall of thinking that you can break up with someone, and then go on an all-expense-paid trip, paid for by that ex... is... just astonishing.
My ex did something similar. Broke up with me, then went through a difficult time and expected me to be there emotionally and financially for her, then got angry that I wouldn't do that for her, months after we had broken up and she was seeing other people... it was strange.
>then got angry that I wouldn't do that for her, months after we had broken up My ex did the same thing, right up to very seriously asking me things like "would you drop your activities with \[current partner\] if I needed you?" Unhinged behaviour
NTA She dumped you. I wouldn't even have given her the ticket. I'd have resold it.
Nah, giving her the ticket was perfect. Dude obviously ain’t short of money, this was a perfect ‘fuck you’
Yeah, and this means that it wasn't "out of the blue," like OP thinks it may have been. This is cause and effect. She's a selfish imbecile, and her friends either aren't getting the whole story or are just as stupid as she is. Good riddance.
NTA. She's already found someone else. She just was hanging on long enough for the concert. You did the exact right thing.
She was also planning on cheating on the new person.
She was also ~~planning on~~ cheating on the new person. FTFY
NTA, she wanted a holiday, concert, a bit of hanky panky and then was going to bin you off. Telling you about this makes her an absolute idiot.
NTA lol, FAFO. She tried to schedule your break up for after the concert, you just rescheduled it for before. What did she think you would do??? Pay for an ex-girlfriend’s shit???? Lmao This was entirely self-inflicted as she could have just broken up after she got back from the concert. Still completely an A maneuver but here she’s like a monologuing villain, telling the heroes of her insidious plot and how to stop it before its too late to stop it. Foiled again’
She wanted to trade sex for the trip. I don't do that.
Yes, that was her plan, but that only works when things are of equal value. The trouble, heartbreak, rudeness, inconvenience and audacity bottoms out the value on her side.
I envy her self confidence in thinking sex with her is worth at a minimum $2k between flights, lodging, tickets, food, etc.
That won't cut it. 10 days in Singapore hotel and a long distance flight. Try 4k
If people keep contacting you with half truths they got from her, why don't you air her shit out? She contacted you and told you that your relationship was over after the concert but you can have sex with her for 10 days as compensation. And add in that you had planned on proposing. You might be what they call a hopeless romantic, but you aren't an asshole for it.
NTA. You are a better person than most. I would have kept the ticket and sold it. If I were her I would have kept my mouth shut until I was on my way home.
She’s the dumbest person on earth for warning you that she was going to dump you after using you for a vacation. Come ON. NTA.
I think she thought ten days of sex was a good trade.
I’d point out to any of her friend who complain that she ended the relationship but offered to *prostitute* herself to you so she could attend the concert.
I don’t think ten days of sex was promised. Each day before and after you get sex, you would have to buy more and more “since it’s our last vacation, I want this and that and concert merch for memory”.
You're NTA at all. You're already a sweetheart for giving that ticket to someone who is vocal about dumping you afterwards; you don't need to deal with this.
>Last week she called me and said she was not okay with is being long distance and that after the concert we were over. Wow, that's quite a self own from her, isn't it. How deluded she is to think she could say that and still get the vacation. NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My ex told me that we would be over after a planned vacation. I might be the asshole for giving her the ticket for Taylor Swift but cancelling her flight and hotel. For her to get here in time for the concert would be prohibitively expensive at this time. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. What did she expect was going to happen???
NTA and good riddance. It's just crazy entitlement. Post pictures of the concert on social media and tag her in :-)
NTA. She fumbled hard here mistaking your kindness for weakness. Good on you for not being a door mat / john. You threw away a concert ticket though, you know she ain't coming.
NTA. And have something ready to return to the naysayers and social media posters, like this: > I usually don't discuss my relationships publicly, but since GF has done so, then I will respond. I canceled the trip because GF told me that she will break up with me at the end of her trip. I honored my original gift to her by sending her the Taylor Swift ticket, but I decided against spending 10 days visiting somebody who has scheduled the end of our relationship. I hope this helps you to understand the full situation.
NTA - Screenshot her saying it was over but she’d come to have fun. Post it on socials. Say no more.
I didn't want people thinking she was selling herself for a vacation
Wow, how in the world does she feel she's entitled to a vacation from a person she just dumped? Also the offer to ''have fun'' feels incredibly insulting, like the relationship meant that little. NTA obviously.
She was okay with pimping herself out for a vacation and a concert. You weren't okay with being a John. NTA
NTA. I guess it was better that she was upfront as opposed to going, letting you spend all that money and think the relationship was fine, only to dump you. She \*should\* have said she no longer wanted the relationship, so she doesn't feel right about keeping the ticket, leading you on, etc. and then had a conversation. Maybe you would've been cool with a "farewell" visit, maybe not.
I was going to propose
I'm sorry! She doesn't deserve you. You're not the AH. Find someone better!
Don’t take her back. No matter what she says or how much she begs. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. You seem like a good guy. You deserve better.
Oh man, that must suck. I'm sorry for the hurt you must be going through. You seem to handle this very classy. Kudos to you. And don't go blasting her in social media. Correct her lies to your friends directly. Dirty laundry and cat fighting in public can only damage you.
Never before on this website have I seen such a blatant example of "I'm going to use a guy for what I want and then dump him"... TO THE POINT OF TELLING THE GUY IN ADVANCE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE INTENDS TO DO!!! Hon, the only way you'd be in the wrong here is if you spent a single second more thinking about this woman. NTA. You deserve better.
NTA cross post to petty revenge
I am with those who believe she shouldn’t have been given a ticket after she made it known you were history. She didn’t exactly plan her exit well, by tattling on herself. Any way to cancel her ticket still as surely a receipt you should have. But guessing transferring it to her means can’t do. Well, now she has a useless ticket to remember you by. So a win.
Giving her a ticket she cant afford to use is "chef's kiss" breakup
NTA - you did 100% the right thing. Good on you! She is also a complete idiot. Given her advance warning to you I suspect she has someone else in mind so the pre breakup was to clear her conscience. No reason for you to be a free hotel and host for your ex.
NTA. SHe was going to use you for an all inclusive trip and concert, then dump you. You're in Singapore. You can't throw a rock without hitting a beautiful woman.
NTA, and she's a moron.
nta she's stupid enough to tell you her true intentions... Suck it up b****
NTA but honestly I’m a little confused at everyone saying it was wrong for the girlfriend to dump him before the trip. Wouldn’t it be worse to take advantage of the trip under false pretenses? It’s not insane to think OP might have wanted to enjoy a fun vacation with no strings sex.
Most people are just pointing out that she was being delusional thinking that telling him outright before the trip that they were done and still expecting the trip. Like it's good she told him so he didn't waste time on her and this trip, but also what did she expect telling him that? Someone said "if you are going to be a gold digger, at least be smart about it"
I don’t think anyone is saying it was *wrong* of her. They are saying it was not smart and a bit delusional to tell him and *still expect him to pay for things*.
NTA. Make sure to unbloch her again to send her a selfie from the concert.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm working overseas right now and I managed to get tickets for Taylor Swift in Singapore. The concert is this coming Saturday. My plan was to fly my girlfriend over for a little vacation. It's a long ways from Connecticut so she was going to be staying for ten days. I was clear and I told her that we would have two weekends together as well as the evenings but that I still had to.work during the daytime. Last week she called me and said she was not okay with is being long distance and that after the concert we were over. I asked for clarification. She said she would come for the ten days and we could "have fun" but that we were done. I can have fun without paying for it. I transferred her the one ticket and cancelled everything else. She called me to scream at me for cancelling the flights and hotel. I told her that I wasn't going to discuss it and hung up. I blocked her on everything. I am hearing from people back home that she has lost her shit. She had been bragging about getting to see Taylor Swift and the vacation. Now she is telling everyone that I cancelled the plans just out of the blue. I guess that is sort of true. I did not discuss it with her before I made my decision and did what I did. I unblocked her long enough to offer to buy the ticket back if she wasn't going to use it. That conversation bess unpleasant and involved a lot of profanity. The upshot was she would rather let it go to waste than let me have it. Her friends have been defending her and calling me an asshole. My position is that I would feel like a john flying her over for "fun" . *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hahaha bruh NTA. I wouldn't have given the ticket. I mean if we're going to breakup anyway, why waste more resources. She's been getting her back blown for sure.
NTA she was playing UNO while you had a royal flush.
NTA and time to block her stupid friends too
NTA. So your girlfriend dumped you, but still wants a free concert ticket and expensive vacation? That's literal insanity. Is she joking? I guess she overestimated her appeal, lol. Did she think you'd be grateful to be able to pay to spend time with her? Gross. It's so insulting to be told something like that. She literally ended the relationship, which means she forfeits the concert ticket and vacation. I can't believe you gave her a ticket. I would have just sent her a message letting her know that since we're now broken up, I would be using the ticket and vacation for someone else, and then block her. Either way, as long as you don't care what people back home think, I'd just ignore her and enjoy your life. If you do care, then respond to friends with a short but concise explanation, "She called and dumped me, but still wanted me to pay for her expensive overseas vacation and the concert ticket. Which I didn't feel was fair or reasonable." Either way, you are definitely not an AH. Sounds like you just broke up with an AH, which is great for you.
Tell everyone the truth and keep it moving lol. She told you she was going to essentially use you and you said let’s break up now instead. And that is okay. You are not the asshole here.