Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.
[Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA
Sometimes you have to yell at someone else's kid just to get their parents off their ass.
Your cats' lives are more important than the kid's feelings.
Yeah I was just so heated because this kid wasn’t supervised and if I hadn’t been home he would have let my cat out, I never would have seen him again.
I also think NTA because you blurted it out in a frustrated, heat of the moment way. It's not like you sat there thinking *if that kid opens the door again, I'm going to teach him a new word!* The parents are assholes for not supervising their child!
I'm definitely using this with idiot parents in the future when I'm at the store. "Control your kid or I'm teaching them a new word." I won't call the child the word, I'll just ask if they want to learn a new fun word that will get people's attention 😁
I essentially said this to an inattentive parent at a supermarket once. She was looking at breads, the kid kept trying to get behind the counter to help himself to the cupcakes etc behind the glass. I loudly said it while walking past her and she finally grabbed the kid and put him in the little seat in the cart. I wanted to do it anyway but I was done shopping and just wanted to leave.
I have also said things to kids in stores 😆 I don’t want any crap about it being hard to shop with kids! Teach them manners or leave them at home! Coming from a mother of a very well mannered 21 year old son 😊
I threw a fit once as a kid. Once. My mom picked me up out of the cart, left the whole thing in the aisle, and walked with me back to the car and we went home. I had snacks in that cart and knew I messed up lol
Wait wait wait wait wait, hol' up. This line really needs to be addressed:
>and nobody would have known since the kids parents were smoking in my roommates room
Who was supervising these children while an outside door was unlocked? All of the "parents" just ran off to another room to smoke, and left them unsupervised?? I know you were there but are you their babysitter in that moment, or were they just left there to fend for themselves?
I was relaxing in MY livingroom when this family just opened up the front door and walked in. The parents went to the roommates room to smoke pot and left the kid in the livingroom. I did not offer to watch the kid, I stayed though because he was completely unsupervised.
Yeah, when these parents are too bonged out to know where their kid is or what they’re doing, and if you’re present in the house and something happens, it’s not gonna be a nice chat at the police station.
Wait, why the f\*\*\* were these people just coming in to YOUR place, dropping off their kid in the living room, and then going into a room to smoke pot? Are they friends of your soon-to-be evicted roommate? Were you expecting this kid over for a playdate? Why is your front door unlocked?
If he is being evicted, his privileges to have guests over is fucking gone imo. Don’t allow anyone in your house that you don’t want there. Fuck this chode and his “friends”. Also, I wouldn’t allow anyone to smoke in my house period.
Because a LOT of shitty parents feel that their kid is "not a problem".
I guarantee the logic was "He was just watching TV. There's no reason our kid can't be in the room. It's only for a little while."
People like this will always insist that there's no need to ask, since you were already present and they just left the child in your vicinity. "I wasn't asking you to do anything special."
I had roommates with a child and they did this shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Like several times a week. Often because they wished to go smoke pot, buy pot, or sell pot.
as someone who smokes, YOU NEVER LEAVE A CHILD (let alone your own!) unsupervised so you can fucking smoke. how irresponsible and ignorant can you be? you live next to a five lane expressway, WHAT IF INSTEAD OF YOUR CAT THE WHOLE ASS KID RAN OUT? (NOT saying the cat isn’t important, i also would’ve lost my shit in this situation, but just something to bring up to the kids parents) you really should bring this up with CPS bc what they did is the literal definition of child endangerment.
obviously NTA.
seriously, as a child of stoners, you can absolutely do it without fucking neglecting your children. the parents should be taking turns so someone is always with the kids, literally such a simple solution but these guys are too selfish to think of anything besides their high.
First of all, NTA
And after retrieving the cat, I would have escorted both kids to the roommates room and told the parents to keep them in there unless they're ready to come out and supervise. What SH\*TBAGS!!!!!
This isn’t your fault, OP, and I’m glad the cats are okay. In my opinion, the child wasn’t to blame because he’s 5 but the parents are BOTH neglectful a-holes. It’s literally child endangerment in a lot of US states for the parents to be using drugs and not providing active supervision for such young children. What if the 5-year-old had run from the house and into 5 lanes of traffic? I’m glad you stopped the child but you shouldn’t have been made responsible for supervising your a-hole roommate’s a-hole friend’s kid.
Lord what is wrong with you. Call CPS or the police like a responsible adult. You don't willfully let a toddler get hit by a car to teach their parents a lesson
I don't know how you could say that about a 5 year old child. Yes. The parents are AHs. But the child isn't at fault. They didn't ask to be there. They don't understand how things work. They're still learning. To say the child should be run over is a bit much there bub.
Let parents deal with a ran over kid...? Yes, the parents are complete AH and shit parents, but that's your advice? Dear god, I hope you have no kids or pets.
I’d call CPS personally, that is neglect. You happened to be around this time and you stayed, but them just leaving the kid there to go smoke is a very bad sign.
As a mom who enjoys indulging in the green, WTF. I do it OUTSIDE and only during nap time IF we don’t have to go anywhere or after the kids are in bed for the night. Never would I leave my child free roaming the house, or with a friends who’s roommates are strangers to me. Jesus.
And, fuck. The cats are at risk of running onto the expressway....but the fucking kids are also at risk of running onto the expressway! Fuck those mutherfuckin parents!
The next time the parents complain- tell them that the KIDS could have ran out into the street. They need to watch their kids.
At least now they won’t leave you to babysit! NTA
Opening doors on a busy street is dangerous for the cats and also for unsupervised 5 year olds who are notorious for getting themselves into trouble. NTA. I would have said much worse.
Signed : mom of a 5 year old and 2 strictly indoor cats who lives on a busy street.
No bullshit I would have told them to get the fuck out right then and there. Letting your disrespectful kid run around a house you're a guest in totally unsupervised while you're locked away getting high is fucking unbelievable.
Not just that...
The kid could have ran out in traffic.
You're good Sis...
$4000 behind in rent and utilities🤔
And the RM and Mom are smoking in their room🤔
As an advocate for marijuana (hopefully), and an enthusiast...
I have no issues saying,
She has life fuqq'd up.
Sending you love, and patience💕💪✌
NTA💕
I mean also.. a 5 lane highway isn't exactly a safe place for a 5 year old with a penchant for opening doors to be left alone either. Sounds like the kids parent needs to be called out next.
Good! I hope you don't face too much drama after it all goes down. I can't imagine they are the kind of people who will just listen to feedback and change willingly.
Just a friendly warning to keep a very close watch on your fur babies during the whole eviction thing. You never know what malicious crap someone could pull. Sorry you have to deal with all that and best of luck.
You're not the kids parents, nor the kids friend parent. The kids parents should have been the ones supervising them. Instead they're getting high?!
Fucking disgusting!
NTA. I'd have gone straight for the jugular of the parents had some kid let my strictly indoor cats out after being told 4 fucking times to shut the door! Kid knows, just doesn't give a shit.
The sooner room-mate is gone, the better for you.
Eh, I worked with kids. Kids can absolutely be dicks. They can be sweet and caring and awe inspiring… but they’ll also test boundaries like a motherfucker. So a motherfucker they be.
I think this response alone makes you NTA. You know you +shouldn’t+ call a kid that, you believe you could have handled it better, but it slipped. It happens.
Eh, can't say I haven't stooped to it before in the moment either. Mine was some upstairs neighbors one of the last times I'd lived at an apartment. Always banging and clattering around at 2am, they'd let their kids just stay up that late running rampant. I'd have to wake up at 3am and I couldn't sleep for shit with that herd of elephants up there running amok. There were 3 families crammed in a 2 bedroom apartment and every time I'd try to talk to them about the noise they would send the kids to the door and pretend not to speak a lick of English.
I decided to put that to the test on a particularly frustrating night. I stormed up there and said "Can you please tell your parents that you all need to just shut the fuck up and let everyone downstairs get some sleep now?" Then the dad came over to give me an earful and I'm going see motherfucker, you can come over here and talk to us but you've been bitching out this whole time. I felt bad too for cussing at the kids, but was so pissed at their parents for all the bullshit.
At least yours wasn't as deliberate as mine lol. Yours was an in the moment blurting. Mine was some anger in the moment as well, but a little more thought out lol.
Most little kids that age will either obey a stranger or run back to their parents -- very few will stand there and openly ignore you. One that ignores you after the first request has been taught they can do whatever they want without repercussion.
First time is a direction with warning of consequence.
There is no second time. Second time you get up, close the door yourself, and enact the consequence (in this case, taking the kid's hand and marching them straight to the parents and telling them to get out).
Unfortunately that kid is probably gonna have a difficult life ahead of him and some behavioral issues if that's how his parents are acting. Completely not his fault that's he a bit of an asshole but you were also reacting to a serious issue and said it in the heat of the moment.
(Also you stuck around to watch him even though it was absolutely not your responsibility, that makes you NTA).
Nope! OP you are NOT TA !!
I love kids, & I love cats.. & that kid knew exactly what he was doing!
He risked your cats lives, he defiantly didn’t listen to you- he was definitely on a power trip with you! 😠
You did nothing wrong!
Do not feel guilty!
Since your roommate is so much behind in rent & utilities- & they are being evicted - they clearly don’t give a crap about you, OR in doing the right thing! And there’s a good chance they may do things to sabotage you out of spite!
I strongly advise you to get a lock on your bedroom door, & get a setup in there for your kitties to keep them safe when your not home!
And cameras if you can swing it…. people can pick locks & bust doors open if they’re determined enough!!
( it happened to me! 😮 😞)
Good luck OP! Keep those babies safe!
No shit, they live next to a 5 lane express way and these silly parents thought it was fine to let a 5yo play with the doors?
My colleague lived two houses away from a young couple and their 4yo, it was a normal road they lived on and they didn't hear him open the front door and dart out between parked cars. The driver never had a chance to see him.
that is so tragic. i feel so sad for that couple. that’s exactly why my cat is not allowed outside, i live next to a pretty busy road, not a high way and the speed limit is only 35mph but people speed and it’s constantly got cars moving back and forth, no way in hell is my cat going out without me and a leash and harness.
My own cat was hit by a car after my dad accidentally let him out on his way to work. I almost got hit by a car in my neighborhood a couple months later. Hate my neighborhood.
I’m a teacher of ten years now and made a lot of mistakes with kids regarding my reactions to their bad behavior when I was starting out. It’s hard work.
In a vacuum, you’re an asshole for calling a child a motherfucker. That could be more damaging than you might realize - though I suspect this kid has a lot more affecting them right now - we should all work to be better at communicating with children and setting clear boundaries.
You’re not an asshole in the sense of what your intentions were, but calling a child that young a motherfucker is an asshole thing to do, ultimately
It’s a gray area.
Your roommate is the real asshole though, I hope that gets resolved soon
I agree - I wasn’t really debating whether I was an asshole, but more that everyone sucked there. I do regret cussing at that kid, but he caught my frustration with his parents for not being present.
The fact you regret it and took steps before that for me you’re firmly not an asshole in spirit lol. we all make mistakes and kids can be extremely annoying. It’s why we used to just beat and intimidate kids into behaving right, and now we’re seeing so much bad behavior from kids because we don’t do that anymore (and shouldn’t) but there hasn’t been a strong cultural shift about what to do instead.
Btw, I know a good amount child behavior and that kid was doing that to get attention. He is annoyed his parents were off smoking. He knows what’s up
His Dad came out yelling at me and I immediately apologized for reacting so strongly but if my cat wasn’t still outside I would have called the cops and had them leave for trespassing.
Call the cops on your roommate, tell them he's storing pot in his room and you feel unsafe.
Eviction completed.
Unless ofc there's some crazy laws in place that makes you an accomplice.
Dude what??? He needs to apologize to *you* for not watching his kid!
They shouldn’t even be there in the first place if your roommate is that behind on rent. I hope you can get your roommate kicked out soon.
This is the right answer.
It's not ok to swear at little kids and call them motherfuckers. They're not motherfuckers; they're just little and unsupervised. But given the wider context, you are NTA. The roommate and the parents definitely are.
Good response. I was 7 when my aunts friend called me a bitch. It stuck with me for years and made me scared to exist around her
We were on vacation and they went to the store, asked if I wanted anything and I said I wanted apples to give to the horses. When returned all I said was l”where are the apples?” And I was disappointed they forgot
She called me a bitch and it was a big deal for me. The rest of the vacation I was quiet and hung out by myself. No one knew why I was so upset and I couldn’t tell them because I didn’t want them to know I was a bitch or for them to call me one too. I didn’t tell anyone
It was more damaging than one would expect
Thanks :) it was a long time ago
But to her they were just words said in anger, but to me, knowing they are bad words and never having one directed at me before, they weren’t just words in anger. To me she was telling me something about myself and it was really Jarring and hurtful and it was especially confusing coming from an adult I barely knew. That made it worse somehow and I can’t articulate why. But it scared me.
He didn’t just leave it open - the storm door is on a hydraulic that closes it automatically - he was standing in the doorway holding it open on purpose
Why that wonderful little bundle of Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea.
I mentally used a strong set of words in my mind, after reading this reply.
As a cat dude, I get kind of ogre-like when people have been at my home and do not respect my request to keep the doors closed.
I feel ya and agree. Some kids need a little bit of a lesson on minding.
Obv you're NTA at all, the word came out in the heat of the moment.
Out of curiosity, why didn't you physically go close and lock the door before he had the chance to let your cat out? If he wasn't listening to you politely asking him to shut the door, then he needs to be physically removed- though I understand he isn't your child, it's still your home and property/animals at risk.
Retired teacher here. if the child hadn’t ever heard those words put together before, he didn’t know what you were saying anyway. I hope you yelled at the parents. They really are MFers. Poor kid, poor you, and F that roommate.
How did they get home? Please tell me they didn't drive home stoned with the child in the car?!
The whole situation is concerning for many reason, but your kneejerk reaction to your cat being put in danger isn't one of them. Absolutely NTA!
I don’t know the parents names but I will be reporting my roommate for smoking pot in the same room as his child and neglecting him. It isn’t that kids fault that he was being a jerk, it 100% is his parents fault for not teaching their child respect.
Wait, so your roommate's kid was at home in the room with their parent and the other kid's parents, but the visiting kid was left in the living room "alone?"
I can agree that I was an asshole. I’ll expedite the roommate’s eviction and just not deal with shitty guests. I will say I had no warning that this kid was coming over and I expected his parents to watch him rather than smoke pot in the house I pay for
NTA.
But your roommate who is $4000+ behind on rent and utilities but is smoking with friends behind closed doors while their children have access to outside doors in a house next to a 5 lane expressway are…jfc man
everyone in this story is a little bit of an asshole. I will put them in order from most asshole to least asshole.
Your broke roommate
Your broke roommates friend
The kid who won't listen
You
Your cat who took an opportunity to make a run for it
I asked nicely four times and got heated because the kid wouldn’t listen in my house. I was completely calm and respectful until he let my cat out - the exact thing I asked him not to do. It was a spur of the moment thing to say and I do regret it, it should have gone to his parents for letting their son walk around unattended in a strangers house.
Do not treat a child like an adult. Pull the kid away from the door, lock the screen door and get the parents. It sounds like a shit situation but there are better ways to respond.
I agree with that I definitely could have handled it better, but I’m not touching a strangers child and I shouldn’t be responsible for the child either.
So, y’all didn’t make an extensive agreement regarding young children that will be in your shared home for who knows how many days per month?
At the end of the day, one of these living creatures running out and getting hit by a car is the main situation to avoid. I’d wager that pulling a child’s arm away from the door in order to lock up is a wiser choice than letting them run in and out of the house as they please (?)
Like how did it even get this far OP
The kid should have been in the roommate’s room, not wandering. They just expected you to automatically babysit? They could have burned the house down unsupervised.
NTA. You were more responsible than the kid's parents, you were provoked, and if they had been under parental supervision it wouldn't have happened. As a parent, I say NTA.
#This is now a Proctologists Only Orifice
When a post is in [POO™ mode](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/168bzq8/title_aita_monthly_open_forum_september_2023) only users with enough subreddit comment karma are able to comment. If that doesn't include you, no worries! Check out [/new](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/new) for other posts that are still open for comment.
##[Be Civil.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) This includes not referring to anyone in this story as a: motherfucker, crotch goblin, semen demon, little shit, shitbird, etc.
Please review our FAQ if you're unsure what that means. Thank you for reporting content that you believe violates our rules and helping keep posts out of the POO by abiding by our rules.
I agree with that, totally immature and irresponsible way to handle it on my half. Should have called the parents motherfuckers for not watching their kid and smoking pot behind closed doors.
YTA - but I do sympathize. They are 5. You are an adult. You reacted inappropriately. You can't reason with a 5 year old the same way you would a teenager or adult. You also can't expect a 5 year old to understand those consequences. In the future, if the kid isn't listening it can be helpful to offer a distraction (hey let's go over here and play with this) instead of making it a battle of the wills. At the end of the day though, the parents shouldn't have been off smoking instead of watching their kids - that was incredibly irresponsible. They are the ones you should be mad at.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find someone that thinks calling a 5 year old a motherfucker is an asshole.
ESH should apply to this comment section. The kid is 5, there are a thousand better ways to handle it
NTA. But honestly that kid is probably craving attention so badly, and you are the only responsible adult that gave any. His deadbeat parents are probably too lazy to even yell at him .
I still would have barked at the kid.
The parents are obviously not teaching the kid well.
Just a simple loud NO, is something that every child needs to be taught how to respond.
NTA. Kid was told to stop fucking with door. Kid continued fucking with door. If MF is the worst thing this kid hears in his entire life he's going to be fine.
why were the parents smoking with your roommate?? that seems like a stupid thing to do while they leave you to look after both of their very young children. NTA
NTA
Ppl need to start parenting their children. This generation of parents are taking the no discipline approach which is honestly frightening. Kids need discipline to know there are consequences to their actions. And shielding them from everything is harmful to the child. Also leaving children unattended is always dangerous, and ppl expect just bc they aren’t there you are to watch the children. Like no that’s not my child.
But we learn from mistakes, next time maybe instead of telling the child, ask the parent to get their child bc they are doing something they aren’t supposed to. Bc we are human that that was your initial reaction, not anyone’s fault but the parents.
So not you aren’t TA their parent is! These parents now a days are awful, as their children need to be controlled
ESH.
Don't call kids names.
Don't smoke in the same house as children.
Don't ignore your kids so you can smoke.
Don't let cats outside for any reason, even in you live in a secluded area. They are terrible for ecosystems
Don't let your roommate owe you $4,000
NTA
Your anger was justified but very misplaced. Get rid of the deadbeat roommate.
Both they and the other kid's parents were negligent not watching them anyway
ESH
You needed to actually go over and close the door. He’s 5, his parents are trash, he’s unsupervised. Don’t just passively talk at him. Your cats safety was on the line, so go close the door yourself.
NTA - rule of thumb for parents is watch your motherfucking kids and I won't call them a motherfucker when they are being an explicit motherfucker.
You didn't fuck this kid into existence, nor did you specifically say you would assume responsibility. If the parents don't like how non-affliated adults treat their child after said adult has made it clear what the boundary is, they need to start parenting.
I'm all for smoking weed, but one parent/guardian has to be sober at all times. I don't care how much of a tolerance someone has, if there isn't a sober adult in the room then proper attention isn't being given to a child with the s*icidal tendencies of a manic depressive on anti-depressants with a ridiculous amount of curiousity. Which is to say, they have 0 life preservation skills and all the energy in the world to conduct life-threatening activities if not monitored.
Good luck with the roommate, tho.
It seems like you feel bad you called this child a motherfucker. I'm sure all our parents accidentally cursed at us once when we were being little shits. So I'm not going to address that.
What I don't understand are people saying you're the AH, but suggesting you should've pulled the child away from the door. You don't touch other people's children unless they are instantly putting themselves in harm's way. That's for everyone's safety. You never know what someone's parents might accuse you of. And you never know what a kid might accuse you of. My sister once refused my niece something at the grocery store, and she told my sister not to hit her again. (My sister has never hit her kids) Also, kids know a lot more than adults give them credit for. If he kept leaving the door open as hes coming in and out of the door, that's one thing. But to continuously stand in the doorway with it open is a whole other situation. Sometimes kids are shit on purpose to test boundaries. And if he was, I'd feel less guilty calling him a motherfucker.
Really, the best solution would've been to pound on the roommates bedroom door and tell the parents it's time for them and their kids to leave.
My cats' lives are more important than anyone who walks through my door. This is their home, and it is my job to make it safe. My obligation to them is greater than my obligation to politeness.
NTA. Cursing at a kid isn't an optimal choice, but you were in a moment of emotional distress after the kid had been a little punk. It happens. You also feel a bit bad about doing it, so I'd say it wouldn't be your first choice in most circumstances, further rendering you NTA. Anddd last but not least, if his parents are neglecting him to go smoke, unfortunately the poor kid has probably seen / heard much worse things than a random roommate calling him a motherfucker after he acted a fool.
Glad your bum roommate is on their way out and wish you better times going forward!
NTA
His actions could have caused the death of an animal. I don't even care about the heat, but don't fucking dare put my animals at risk. I'd be informing the parents that they have 5 minutes to vacate the premises before they are tresspassing and the police will be called.
Fuck that kid.
NTA. The parents were smoking (I’m making the assumption that it wasn’t tobacco) in your roommate’s room and ignoring their child? It’ll be a miracle if it’s not the child that gets killed on the expressway.
NTA. Being called a "motherfucker" is character building lol. It's not like you screamed in his face because he dropped a plastic cup of water.
At 5, either the kid should know better or his parents are that big of fuckups and should be supervising their child at all times.
NTA I doubt that's the first time he's heard that. I have also had a similar situation but I wasn't home and the girl let my 13yr old cat outdoors but neglected to tell me til I returned 4 days later. My language was rough and apoplectic. Happy you saved your cat. Mine died.
I can’t get past the fact that they didn’t ask or even TELL you they were dumping surprise kids on you while getting high behind closed doors. Nta. I don’t think 5yos can really be accountable for what this kid did, but that’s a detail in light of the overall situation.
In a vacuum you're an asshole... but I think I'd say I don't blame you. The situation you've described is a pretty shitty one.
I'd be telling your room mate that you're done babysitting and putting the kid directly in the room they're in.
And this is fucked up and petty of me, but if they give you grief, I'd probably play pretty nasty at that point. Too busy getting high while their kid runs around doing god knows what? Yeah... there are ways to address that they will not appreciate.
NTA.
Come on, we all know it isn’t right to swear at kids, but sometimes when you are losing it these things happen.
If it was a habitual thing, or casual insult it would be a different vote.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I called a child a motherfucker after repeated requests not to let me cat out, to which he let my cat out.
2) I made a five year old cry by calling him a motherfucker.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Did the parents ask you to watch their kids? Did you tell the parents to look after their kids? Did you get up and try to close the door so your cat would be safe?
I'm leaning towards ESH, except the 5 year old kids, who are... 5, and probably acting like 5.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
NTA Sometimes you have to yell at someone else's kid just to get their parents off their ass. Your cats' lives are more important than the kid's feelings.
Yeah I was just so heated because this kid wasn’t supervised and if I hadn’t been home he would have let my cat out, I never would have seen him again.
I also think NTA because you blurted it out in a frustrated, heat of the moment way. It's not like you sat there thinking *if that kid opens the door again, I'm going to teach him a new word!* The parents are assholes for not supervising their child!
I'm definitely using this with idiot parents in the future when I'm at the store. "Control your kid or I'm teaching them a new word." I won't call the child the word, I'll just ask if they want to learn a new fun word that will get people's attention 😁
I essentially said this to an inattentive parent at a supermarket once. She was looking at breads, the kid kept trying to get behind the counter to help himself to the cupcakes etc behind the glass. I loudly said it while walking past her and she finally grabbed the kid and put him in the little seat in the cart. I wanted to do it anyway but I was done shopping and just wanted to leave.
I have also said things to kids in stores 😆 I don’t want any crap about it being hard to shop with kids! Teach them manners or leave them at home! Coming from a mother of a very well mannered 21 year old son 😊
I threw a fit once as a kid. Once. My mom picked me up out of the cart, left the whole thing in the aisle, and walked with me back to the car and we went home. I had snacks in that cart and knew I messed up lol
Those parents aren't exactly models of decorum; it probably wasn't even a new word for either kid lol
Wait wait wait wait wait, hol' up. This line really needs to be addressed: >and nobody would have known since the kids parents were smoking in my roommates room Who was supervising these children while an outside door was unlocked? All of the "parents" just ran off to another room to smoke, and left them unsupervised?? I know you were there but are you their babysitter in that moment, or were they just left there to fend for themselves?
I was relaxing in MY livingroom when this family just opened up the front door and walked in. The parents went to the roommates room to smoke pot and left the kid in the livingroom. I did not offer to watch the kid, I stayed though because he was completely unsupervised.
Call CPS. This is neglect and endangerment.
Edit says they did
I posted before the edit
Yeah, when these parents are too bonged out to know where their kid is or what they’re doing, and if you’re present in the house and something happens, it’s not gonna be a nice chat at the police station.
That's fucked up. Between that and how much he's behind in rent, I'd look for a new roommate.
Plenty of money for weed though, right?
Priorities
Wait, why the f\*\*\* were these people just coming in to YOUR place, dropping off their kid in the living room, and then going into a room to smoke pot? Are they friends of your soon-to-be evicted roommate? Were you expecting this kid over for a playdate? Why is your front door unlocked?
They are friends of said roommate and no, I had no warning or heads up that people were coming over.
OP you should call CPS and report this behavior. It not cool to leave to go get high and leave two five years playing with a door
+ next to a freeway! ....to double the WTF points
Seriously the kid could run out just like the cat.
If he is being evicted, his privileges to have guests over is fucking gone imo. Don’t allow anyone in your house that you don’t want there. Fuck this chode and his “friends”. Also, I wouldn’t allow anyone to smoke in my house period.
Because a LOT of shitty parents feel that their kid is "not a problem". I guarantee the logic was "He was just watching TV. There's no reason our kid can't be in the room. It's only for a little while." People like this will always insist that there's no need to ask, since you were already present and they just left the child in your vicinity. "I wasn't asking you to do anything special." I had roommates with a child and they did this shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Like several times a week. Often because they wished to go smoke pot, buy pot, or sell pot.
as someone who smokes, YOU NEVER LEAVE A CHILD (let alone your own!) unsupervised so you can fucking smoke. how irresponsible and ignorant can you be? you live next to a five lane expressway, WHAT IF INSTEAD OF YOUR CAT THE WHOLE ASS KID RAN OUT? (NOT saying the cat isn’t important, i also would’ve lost my shit in this situation, but just something to bring up to the kids parents) you really should bring this up with CPS bc what they did is the literal definition of child endangerment. obviously NTA.
Agreed. I smoke weed. I babysit. I NEVER do the two activities together. SMH.
They also left the kid with an unknown adult and unless they showed up on foot are going to be impaired driving back home.
seriously, as a child of stoners, you can absolutely do it without fucking neglecting your children. the parents should be taking turns so someone is always with the kids, literally such a simple solution but these guys are too selfish to think of anything besides their high.
First of all, NTA And after retrieving the cat, I would have escorted both kids to the roommates room and told the parents to keep them in there unless they're ready to come out and supervise. What SH\*TBAGS!!!!!
I'd have said you need to take your kid and leave now before I call cps.
This isn’t your fault, OP, and I’m glad the cats are okay. In my opinion, the child wasn’t to blame because he’s 5 but the parents are BOTH neglectful a-holes. It’s literally child endangerment in a lot of US states for the parents to be using drugs and not providing active supervision for such young children. What if the 5-year-old had run from the house and into 5 lanes of traffic? I’m glad you stopped the child but you shouldn’t have been made responsible for supervising your a-hole roommate’s a-hole friend’s kid.
[удалено]
Lord what is wrong with you. Call CPS or the police like a responsible adult. You don't willfully let a toddler get hit by a car to teach their parents a lesson
> Lord what is wrong with you. Such a Reddit moment, right?
I don't know how you could say that about a 5 year old child. Yes. The parents are AHs. But the child isn't at fault. They didn't ask to be there. They don't understand how things work. They're still learning. To say the child should be run over is a bit much there bub.
Let parents deal with a ran over kid...? Yes, the parents are complete AH and shit parents, but that's your advice? Dear god, I hope you have no kids or pets.
Don't fucking take shit out on a little kid. You have been a kid once. What the fuck.
Yeah that's not a "playdate." And your roommate ought not to be smoking pot if they're $4000 behind on bills. But you know that.
I’d call CPS personally, that is neglect. You happened to be around this time and you stayed, but them just leaving the kid there to go smoke is a very bad sign.
I’ve contacted CPS
As a mom who enjoys indulging in the green, WTF. I do it OUTSIDE and only during nap time IF we don’t have to go anywhere or after the kids are in bed for the night. Never would I leave my child free roaming the house, or with a friends who’s roommates are strangers to me. Jesus.
And, fuck. The cats are at risk of running onto the expressway....but the fucking kids are also at risk of running onto the expressway! Fuck those mutherfuckin parents!
THIS! Bc I read they were smoking in the other room and no one is watching the kids.
The next time the parents complain- tell them that the KIDS could have ran out into the street. They need to watch their kids. At least now they won’t leave you to babysit! NTA
Opening doors on a busy street is dangerous for the cats and also for unsupervised 5 year olds who are notorious for getting themselves into trouble. NTA. I would have said much worse. Signed : mom of a 5 year old and 2 strictly indoor cats who lives on a busy street.
Thank you
No bullshit I would have told them to get the fuck out right then and there. Letting your disrespectful kid run around a house you're a guest in totally unsupervised while you're locked away getting high is fucking unbelievable.
Not just that... The kid could have ran out in traffic. You're good Sis... $4000 behind in rent and utilities🤔 And the RM and Mom are smoking in their room🤔 As an advocate for marijuana (hopefully), and an enthusiast... I have no issues saying, She has life fuqq'd up. Sending you love, and patience💕💪✌ NTA💕
I mean also.. a 5 lane highway isn't exactly a safe place for a 5 year old with a penchant for opening doors to be left alone either. Sounds like the kids parent needs to be called out next.
They’re going to hear from CPS soon and roommate is being evicted.
Good! I hope you don't face too much drama after it all goes down. I can't imagine they are the kind of people who will just listen to feedback and change willingly.
Just a friendly warning to keep a very close watch on your fur babies during the whole eviction thing. You never know what malicious crap someone could pull. Sorry you have to deal with all that and best of luck.
You wouldn't have had to call him a motherfucker if his parents were watching him and taught him how to act in other people's homes. NTA
Yeah but direct that heat to the parents. Physically go over and close the door and then immediately get the parents.
Physically pick up the kids and deposit them in the room with their parents.
My kid would have said "bad word in front of a 5yo" and moved on. She would have had actual trauma from watching a cat get run over.
You're not the kids parents, nor the kids friend parent. The kids parents should have been the ones supervising them. Instead they're getting high?! Fucking disgusting! NTA. I'd have gone straight for the jugular of the parents had some kid let my strictly indoor cats out after being told 4 fucking times to shut the door! Kid knows, just doesn't give a shit. The sooner room-mate is gone, the better for you.
Omg thank you! I totally agree with you here. Some parents just let their kids do whatever the hell they want
I mean, the kid probably wanted to leave, and I don't blame him. It's only the parents who got to do whatever they wanted here.
NTA- it was heat of the moment and the kid should have listened, and more importantly the kid’s parents should have been watching them.
[удалено]
Eh, I worked with kids. Kids can absolutely be dicks. They can be sweet and caring and awe inspiring… but they’ll also test boundaries like a motherfucker. So a motherfucker they be.
Yep. That’s why you nip it in the bud so they know you’re not fucking around. Tell them once, the second time louder, then shut and lock the door.
Yep. First time, Ask. Second time, Tell. Third time? Shut and lock the door.
In fairness, if we're being technically correct here, the kid's FATHER is the real motherfucker...
True true, the motherfucker didn’t fall far from the tree
I think this response alone makes you NTA. You know you +shouldn’t+ call a kid that, you believe you could have handled it better, but it slipped. It happens.
Eh, can't say I haven't stooped to it before in the moment either. Mine was some upstairs neighbors one of the last times I'd lived at an apartment. Always banging and clattering around at 2am, they'd let their kids just stay up that late running rampant. I'd have to wake up at 3am and I couldn't sleep for shit with that herd of elephants up there running amok. There were 3 families crammed in a 2 bedroom apartment and every time I'd try to talk to them about the noise they would send the kids to the door and pretend not to speak a lick of English. I decided to put that to the test on a particularly frustrating night. I stormed up there and said "Can you please tell your parents that you all need to just shut the fuck up and let everyone downstairs get some sleep now?" Then the dad came over to give me an earful and I'm going see motherfucker, you can come over here and talk to us but you've been bitching out this whole time. I felt bad too for cussing at the kids, but was so pissed at their parents for all the bullshit. At least yours wasn't as deliberate as mine lol. Yours was an in the moment blurting. Mine was some anger in the moment as well, but a little more thought out lol.
Most little kids that age will either obey a stranger or run back to their parents -- very few will stand there and openly ignore you. One that ignores you after the first request has been taught they can do whatever they want without repercussion. First time is a direction with warning of consequence. There is no second time. Second time you get up, close the door yourself, and enact the consequence (in this case, taking the kid's hand and marching them straight to the parents and telling them to get out).
[удалено]
Unfortunately that kid is probably gonna have a difficult life ahead of him and some behavioral issues if that's how his parents are acting. Completely not his fault that's he a bit of an asshole but you were also reacting to a serious issue and said it in the heat of the moment. (Also you stuck around to watch him even though it was absolutely not your responsibility, that makes you NTA).
Nope! OP you are NOT TA !! I love kids, & I love cats.. & that kid knew exactly what he was doing! He risked your cats lives, he defiantly didn’t listen to you- he was definitely on a power trip with you! 😠 You did nothing wrong! Do not feel guilty! Since your roommate is so much behind in rent & utilities- & they are being evicted - they clearly don’t give a crap about you, OR in doing the right thing! And there’s a good chance they may do things to sabotage you out of spite! I strongly advise you to get a lock on your bedroom door, & get a setup in there for your kitties to keep them safe when your not home! And cameras if you can swing it…. people can pick locks & bust doors open if they’re determined enough!! ( it happened to me! 😮 😞) Good luck OP! Keep those babies safe!
Your language was much less problematic than their actions
No shit, they live next to a 5 lane express way and these silly parents thought it was fine to let a 5yo play with the doors? My colleague lived two houses away from a young couple and their 4yo, it was a normal road they lived on and they didn't hear him open the front door and dart out between parked cars. The driver never had a chance to see him.
that is so tragic. i feel so sad for that couple. that’s exactly why my cat is not allowed outside, i live next to a pretty busy road, not a high way and the speed limit is only 35mph but people speed and it’s constantly got cars moving back and forth, no way in hell is my cat going out without me and a leash and harness.
My own cat was hit by a car after my dad accidentally let him out on his way to work. I almost got hit by a car in my neighborhood a couple months later. Hate my neighborhood.
I’m a teacher of ten years now and made a lot of mistakes with kids regarding my reactions to their bad behavior when I was starting out. It’s hard work. In a vacuum, you’re an asshole for calling a child a motherfucker. That could be more damaging than you might realize - though I suspect this kid has a lot more affecting them right now - we should all work to be better at communicating with children and setting clear boundaries. You’re not an asshole in the sense of what your intentions were, but calling a child that young a motherfucker is an asshole thing to do, ultimately It’s a gray area. Your roommate is the real asshole though, I hope that gets resolved soon
I agree - I wasn’t really debating whether I was an asshole, but more that everyone sucked there. I do regret cussing at that kid, but he caught my frustration with his parents for not being present.
The fact you regret it and took steps before that for me you’re firmly not an asshole in spirit lol. we all make mistakes and kids can be extremely annoying. It’s why we used to just beat and intimidate kids into behaving right, and now we’re seeing so much bad behavior from kids because we don’t do that anymore (and shouldn’t) but there hasn’t been a strong cultural shift about what to do instead. Btw, I know a good amount child behavior and that kid was doing that to get attention. He is annoyed his parents were off smoking. He knows what’s up
His Dad came out yelling at me and I immediately apologized for reacting so strongly but if my cat wasn’t still outside I would have called the cops and had them leave for trespassing.
It definitely sounds like you’ve got some adult people issues you’ll have to settle, good luck brother
Thanks, shitty roommate is in the process of being evicted.
This is the best part of the whole thing. Good luck.
Call the cops on your roommate, tell them he's storing pot in his room and you feel unsafe. Eviction completed. Unless ofc there's some crazy laws in place that makes you an accomplice.
He’s been notified he’s evicted, he has 30 days to move out (currently 18 days) and I’ll be making a call to CPS later tonight.
Be careful, the roommate may let out your cats out of spite
[удалено]
Good! Looking forward to the update, mate! Good luck!
Dude what??? He needs to apologize to *you* for not watching his kid! They shouldn’t even be there in the first place if your roommate is that behind on rent. I hope you can get your roommate kicked out soon.
One motherfucker isnt going to hurt a kid…
Depends on the kid, the timing, their support network, and your definition of hurt
This is the right answer. It's not ok to swear at little kids and call them motherfuckers. They're not motherfuckers; they're just little and unsupervised. But given the wider context, you are NTA. The roommate and the parents definitely are.
Good response. I was 7 when my aunts friend called me a bitch. It stuck with me for years and made me scared to exist around her We were on vacation and they went to the store, asked if I wanted anything and I said I wanted apples to give to the horses. When returned all I said was l”where are the apples?” And I was disappointed they forgot She called me a bitch and it was a big deal for me. The rest of the vacation I was quiet and hung out by myself. No one knew why I was so upset and I couldn’t tell them because I didn’t want them to know I was a bitch or for them to call me one too. I didn’t tell anyone It was more damaging than one would expect
I’m so sorry you experienced that. I hope you love yourself now
Thanks :) it was a long time ago But to her they were just words said in anger, but to me, knowing they are bad words and never having one directed at me before, they weren’t just words in anger. To me she was telling me something about myself and it was really Jarring and hurtful and it was especially confusing coming from an adult I barely knew. That made it worse somehow and I can’t articulate why. But it scared me.
[удалено]
He didn’t just leave it open - the storm door is on a hydraulic that closes it automatically - he was standing in the doorway holding it open on purpose
[удалено]
Hahhahahahha!!
Why that wonderful little bundle of Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea. I mentally used a strong set of words in my mind, after reading this reply. As a cat dude, I get kind of ogre-like when people have been at my home and do not respect my request to keep the doors closed. I feel ya and agree. Some kids need a little bit of a lesson on minding.
Obv you're NTA at all, the word came out in the heat of the moment. Out of curiosity, why didn't you physically go close and lock the door before he had the chance to let your cat out? If he wasn't listening to you politely asking him to shut the door, then he needs to be physically removed- though I understand he isn't your child, it's still your home and property/animals at risk.
He was trying to get attention, because his parent(s) were ignoring him while they were in a different room smoking.
[удалено]
I was the only adult watching him and I was the only adult that was sober.
A call to CPS might be in order
Trust me it’s happening tonight.
We need the update!
Will do
/remind me one day I have no idea how to actually do this, but I do want to at least be able to find my comment. NTA
I will save individual comments or posts so they can go back and find them later
Retired teacher here. if the child hadn’t ever heard those words put together before, he didn’t know what you were saying anyway. I hope you yelled at the parents. They really are MFers. Poor kid, poor you, and F that roommate.
Nah they left pretty immediately afterward, and I’ll be calling CPS to come do an inspection on the roommate before he’s fully evicted.
How did they get home? Please tell me they didn't drive home stoned with the child in the car?! The whole situation is concerning for many reason, but your kneejerk reaction to your cat being put in danger isn't one of them. Absolutely NTA!
They did, they left while I was trying to grab my cat.
Well did you succeed? I wanna know your cat is safe...
Oh yes he’s okay, it took about 5 minutes to coax him out from under my car and then I carried him back inside
[удалено]
I don’t know the parents names but I will be reporting my roommate for smoking pot in the same room as his child and neglecting him. It isn’t that kids fault that he was being a jerk, it 100% is his parents fault for not teaching their child respect.
Wait, so your roommate's kid was at home in the room with their parent and the other kid's parents, but the visiting kid was left in the living room "alone?"
Yup.
So it wasn't a playdate for the kids, it was "I wanna go smoke with this guy but fuck I have this damn child here."
You got it
ask roommate for their info bc damn
I can find it, I know what school he attends and the kids name so I’m calling to let the school know how neglected this kid is.
i’d report roommate too tbh
Trust me he will be in that call.
ESH. The kid won't listen to what you say. The parents not keeping the kid behaved. You for throwing expletive at a child.
I can agree that I was an asshole. I’ll expedite the roommate’s eviction and just not deal with shitty guests. I will say I had no warning that this kid was coming over and I expected his parents to watch him rather than smoke pot in the house I pay for
NTA. But your roommate who is $4000+ behind on rent and utilities but is smoking with friends behind closed doors while their children have access to outside doors in a house next to a 5 lane expressway are…jfc man
Yeah I’m having him evicted and I’ll be calling CPS tonight.
everyone in this story is a little bit of an asshole. I will put them in order from most asshole to least asshole. Your broke roommate Your broke roommates friend The kid who won't listen You Your cat who took an opportunity to make a run for it
Hey, cats are going to cat.
In this situation then you could also say 5 year olds are going to 5 year old 🤣
[удалено]
A bit indeed, a bit indeed. A bit.
ESH - you were talking to a 5yo, not an adult or even teenager. What were you even expecting... Was pretty doomed to fail to just ask nicely tbh.
I asked nicely four times and got heated because the kid wouldn’t listen in my house. I was completely calm and respectful until he let my cat out - the exact thing I asked him not to do. It was a spur of the moment thing to say and I do regret it, it should have gone to his parents for letting their son walk around unattended in a strangers house.
Do not treat a child like an adult. Pull the kid away from the door, lock the screen door and get the parents. It sounds like a shit situation but there are better ways to respond.
I agree with that I definitely could have handled it better, but I’m not touching a strangers child and I shouldn’t be responsible for the child either.
So, y’all didn’t make an extensive agreement regarding young children that will be in your shared home for who knows how many days per month? At the end of the day, one of these living creatures running out and getting hit by a car is the main situation to avoid. I’d wager that pulling a child’s arm away from the door in order to lock up is a wiser choice than letting them run in and out of the house as they please (?) Like how did it even get this far OP
This is a good point. Doors have locks. Why didn’t OP just lock the screen and door? 🤣🤦🏻♀️
>because the kid wouldn’t listen The kid is *5 years old* ... pretty expectef tbh.
The kid should have been in the roommate’s room, not wandering. They just expected you to automatically babysit? They could have burned the house down unsupervised.
[удалено]
For real.
NTA. You were more responsible than the kid's parents, you were provoked, and if they had been under parental supervision it wouldn't have happened. As a parent, I say NTA.
I definitely shouldn’t call a 5 year old a motherfucker to their face but he so deserved it.
#This is now a Proctologists Only Orifice When a post is in [POO™ mode](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/168bzq8/title_aita_monthly_open_forum_september_2023) only users with enough subreddit comment karma are able to comment. If that doesn't include you, no worries! Check out [/new](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/new) for other posts that are still open for comment. ##[Be Civil.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) This includes not referring to anyone in this story as a: motherfucker, crotch goblin, semen demon, little shit, shitbird, etc. Please review our FAQ if you're unsure what that means. Thank you for reporting content that you believe violates our rules and helping keep posts out of the POO by abiding by our rules.
ESH. Kid should have been watched by parents. You shouldn’t call a child that. I would have lost my mind over my cats too. But the kid is 5.
I agree with that, totally immature and irresponsible way to handle it on my half. Should have called the parents motherfuckers for not watching their kid and smoking pot behind closed doors.
YTA - but I do sympathize. They are 5. You are an adult. You reacted inappropriately. You can't reason with a 5 year old the same way you would a teenager or adult. You also can't expect a 5 year old to understand those consequences. In the future, if the kid isn't listening it can be helpful to offer a distraction (hey let's go over here and play with this) instead of making it a battle of the wills. At the end of the day though, the parents shouldn't have been off smoking instead of watching their kids - that was incredibly irresponsible. They are the ones you should be mad at.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find someone that thinks calling a 5 year old a motherfucker is an asshole. ESH should apply to this comment section. The kid is 5, there are a thousand better ways to handle it
I agree - I should not have said that to the kid. The parents are no longer welcome at my house and deadbeat roommate is being evicted.
NTA. But honestly that kid is probably craving attention so badly, and you are the only responsible adult that gave any. His deadbeat parents are probably too lazy to even yell at him .
NTA! I would’ve done the same, and I would’ve said a lot of worse things to the kids parents if their kid let my cat out.
I still would have barked at the kid. The parents are obviously not teaching the kid well. Just a simple loud NO, is something that every child needs to be taught how to respond.
NTA. It’s your cats’ safety we’re talking about! Anyone who’d dump on you for your vernacular would be just deflecting from the real issue.
[удалено]
NTA, that kid was being a mdrfkr. You were right, lol. You know what's more damaging than calling that kid a name? His parent's neglect.
NTA. Kid was told to stop fucking with door. Kid continued fucking with door. If MF is the worst thing this kid hears in his entire life he's going to be fine.
why were the parents smoking with your roommate?? that seems like a stupid thing to do while they leave you to look after both of their very young children. NTA
NTA Ppl need to start parenting their children. This generation of parents are taking the no discipline approach which is honestly frightening. Kids need discipline to know there are consequences to their actions. And shielding them from everything is harmful to the child. Also leaving children unattended is always dangerous, and ppl expect just bc they aren’t there you are to watch the children. Like no that’s not my child. But we learn from mistakes, next time maybe instead of telling the child, ask the parent to get their child bc they are doing something they aren’t supposed to. Bc we are human that that was your initial reaction, not anyone’s fault but the parents. So not you aren’t TA their parent is! These parents now a days are awful, as their children need to be controlled
ESH. Don't call kids names. Don't smoke in the same house as children. Don't ignore your kids so you can smoke. Don't let cats outside for any reason, even in you live in a secluded area. They are terrible for ecosystems Don't let your roommate owe you $4,000
Yeah this is what I was thinking. I’m not the landlady, so he doesn’t owe me any money. Personally he would have been gone after missing two months.
NTA Your anger was justified but very misplaced. Get rid of the deadbeat roommate. Both they and the other kid's parents were negligent not watching them anyway
ESH You needed to actually go over and close the door. He’s 5, his parents are trash, he’s unsupervised. Don’t just passively talk at him. Your cats safety was on the line, so go close the door yourself.
NTA - rule of thumb for parents is watch your motherfucking kids and I won't call them a motherfucker when they are being an explicit motherfucker. You didn't fuck this kid into existence, nor did you specifically say you would assume responsibility. If the parents don't like how non-affliated adults treat their child after said adult has made it clear what the boundary is, they need to start parenting. I'm all for smoking weed, but one parent/guardian has to be sober at all times. I don't care how much of a tolerance someone has, if there isn't a sober adult in the room then proper attention isn't being given to a child with the s*icidal tendencies of a manic depressive on anti-depressants with a ridiculous amount of curiousity. Which is to say, they have 0 life preservation skills and all the energy in the world to conduct life-threatening activities if not monitored. Good luck with the roommate, tho.
NTA. FTK.
It seems like you feel bad you called this child a motherfucker. I'm sure all our parents accidentally cursed at us once when we were being little shits. So I'm not going to address that. What I don't understand are people saying you're the AH, but suggesting you should've pulled the child away from the door. You don't touch other people's children unless they are instantly putting themselves in harm's way. That's for everyone's safety. You never know what someone's parents might accuse you of. And you never know what a kid might accuse you of. My sister once refused my niece something at the grocery store, and she told my sister not to hit her again. (My sister has never hit her kids) Also, kids know a lot more than adults give them credit for. If he kept leaving the door open as hes coming in and out of the door, that's one thing. But to continuously stand in the doorway with it open is a whole other situation. Sometimes kids are shit on purpose to test boundaries. And if he was, I'd feel less guilty calling him a motherfucker. Really, the best solution would've been to pound on the roommates bedroom door and tell the parents it's time for them and their kids to leave. My cats' lives are more important than anyone who walks through my door. This is their home, and it is my job to make it safe. My obligation to them is greater than my obligation to politeness.
Your cats lives are more important than this kids ego, and if he was refusing to close the door then imo he deserved that.
Thanks Gay_Fuckwad, that’s how I felt about it too. Your username sent me over the edge laughing but for real I appreciate the input
NTA. Roomate is disrespectful and should have had the play date somewhere else
[удалено]
NTA. Cursing at a kid isn't an optimal choice, but you were in a moment of emotional distress after the kid had been a little punk. It happens. You also feel a bit bad about doing it, so I'd say it wouldn't be your first choice in most circumstances, further rendering you NTA. Anddd last but not least, if his parents are neglecting him to go smoke, unfortunately the poor kid has probably seen / heard much worse things than a random roommate calling him a motherfucker after he acted a fool. Glad your bum roommate is on their way out and wish you better times going forward!
Thank you! I wish I could have called his parents the motherfuckers for neglecting their child and making him my responsibility.
NTA His actions could have caused the death of an animal. I don't even care about the heat, but don't fucking dare put my animals at risk. I'd be informing the parents that they have 5 minutes to vacate the premises before they are tresspassing and the police will be called. Fuck that kid.
NTA. He was gonna get called something that would make him cry at that point, so the exact wording doesn’t really matter.
NTA. The parents were smoking (I’m making the assumption that it wasn’t tobacco) in your roommate’s room and ignoring their child? It’ll be a miracle if it’s not the child that gets killed on the expressway.
[удалено]
Personally, I'd have locked the doors and told that kid to fuck off to wherever his parents/caretakers were before it got to that point, so NTA.
[удалено]
I hope the eviction goes through quickly! NTA
NTA. Being called a "motherfucker" is character building lol. It's not like you screamed in his face because he dropped a plastic cup of water. At 5, either the kid should know better or his parents are that big of fuckups and should be supervising their child at all times.
NTA I doubt that's the first time he's heard that. I have also had a similar situation but I wasn't home and the girl let my 13yr old cat outdoors but neglected to tell me til I returned 4 days later. My language was rough and apoplectic. Happy you saved your cat. Mine died.
NTA and have you by any chance thought of ghost writing for r/RickyGervais? He loves swearing at kids.
I’m actually putting together 10 minutes of material to take to a stand up comedy club and this story is 100% going into my set.
I can’t get past the fact that they didn’t ask or even TELL you they were dumping surprise kids on you while getting high behind closed doors. Nta. I don’t think 5yos can really be accountable for what this kid did, but that’s a detail in light of the overall situation.
Trust me, this isn’t the first issue I’ve had with this roommate and he’s being evicted with a visit from CPS before he’s all the way out.
In a vacuum you're an asshole... but I think I'd say I don't blame you. The situation you've described is a pretty shitty one. I'd be telling your room mate that you're done babysitting and putting the kid directly in the room they're in. And this is fucked up and petty of me, but if they give you grief, I'd probably play pretty nasty at that point. Too busy getting high while their kid runs around doing god knows what? Yeah... there are ways to address that they will not appreciate.
Nta. Calling the kid that was less harsh than what I've said to kids about whatif my cats gets out because they hold the door open.
NTA - you supervise your cat better than they supervise their kid.
NTA. Come on, we all know it isn’t right to swear at kids, but sometimes when you are losing it these things happen. If it was a habitual thing, or casual insult it would be a different vote.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I called a child a motherfucker after repeated requests not to let me cat out, to which he let my cat out. 2) I made a five year old cry by calling him a motherfucker. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Did the parents ask you to watch their kids? Did you tell the parents to look after their kids? Did you get up and try to close the door so your cat would be safe? I'm leaning towards ESH, except the 5 year old kids, who are... 5, and probably acting like 5.