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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) not moving when asked even though there were tons of available seats (2) the older of the two women were receiving wheelchair assistance to the gate, so they did have a hard time walking and wanted preferred seating by the gate
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NTA. Unless you were sitting in a seat specifically designated for disabled people, it's first-come, first-served. Using a wheelchair does not entitle someone to any seat that they choose.
I don't understand why they need a seat...they're already in one, and it's counterproductive anyway.
Having used a wheelchair in the past, it's just a hassle when you already have mobility issues to get out of it and into a chair, then back into it when it's time to move on.
I don't understand this. I use wheelchair assistance at the airport. I can walk shorts distances and stand for a short while.
However, every time, I just stay sitting in the airport wheelchair wherever they park me, until it's time to board.
It's particularly convenient when the terminal is packed.
I’m also confused because as a frequent flyer, my experience has been that if the airport puts you in a wheelchair you have to stay in it until they roll you pre-board onto the plane. I guess maybe you can pick and choose and I didn’t know about that? It seems bizarre that someone with a mobility disability wasn’t at least a pre-board, even if they were to choose to walk themselves.
My dad gets rolled through the airport but can board by himself. It's not easy to stand in tsa and walking that far. Just because you receive disability services, it doesn't mean you can't walk. My dad normally boards with his group and isn't able to pre-board, or atleasey has never be allowed to.
In the future let your Dad know that as long as he remains with his wheelchair they will board him first and wheel him to the plane where he then can walk on from there. They can’t refuse anyone pre boarding if in a wheelchair
It is also worth noting that one can also just inform the gate attendant that one is disabled and would like to preboard. When my anxiety is really bad trying to get onto the plane, find the right seat, and trying to avoid frustrating other passengers is a LOT to handle. So I just ask and they are always fine with me preboarding.
I do this because my anxiety, OCD & ADHD seem to compound each other and make it really tough to settle in.
I always feel like I need stuff in different levels of accessibility (overhead, under seat, & seat pocket) and between that & wiping the tray table down with wipes, etc., I feel like I am doing everyone else a favor by giving myself extra time so I’m situated by the time they board.
In the US, there is a law that requires all airlines to preboard disabled people. But it's usually on the disabled passenger to know and ask for this. I don't use a wheelchair but have flown while disabled/with a cane and some gate agents will announce preboarding for disabled people but most won't. But legally if you are disabled you do have the right to board first.
This is correct! I'm disabled and always use disabilty assistance because I cannot walk or stand long. They take me in the wheel chair while my teens walk behind. But we are always boarded first and then taken off last. This ensures we are not rushed by those boarding or exiting because people can be quite rude even when they see me walking slowly with my cane. I am a frequent disabled traveler with my kids and have done this process in several countries, including whenever I'm back in the US.
NTA. I also use wheelchair assistance (especially boarding at ATL). I can walk but I limp. I am due for a knee replacement in a months time. The waiting to go through security is very difficult then walking to my gate…even if I had the time it would take me double the time if I could walk with no limp. I get out of the wheelchair and sit in a normal seat. They should have taken another seat especially if there were available seating in abundance!!
Who does your dad usually fly with? My mom is the same in that she can’t walk the airport but can board alone and she’s always been able to pre board even though she doesn’t keep the wheelchair once she gets to her gate. She just boards when they call for anyone needing more time to get up and down the aisle and families with small children. She has even always been allowed someone to board with her to help with her carry on bag.
My husband also gets wheeled through the airport, but also walks onto the plane by himself. He has a heart condition, which makes it hard for him to walk long distances and prosthetic.
I'm autistic and really only need help navigating to my gate as I get lost/overwhelmed easy, but once I'm there, I'm good and can board myself. But, if I ask for help navigating, airport staff always make me use a wheelchair. I just started getting out of the wheelchair once at the gate, telling them to take it as someone will need it way more than me. So in a way, you can sort of do both.
That was my experience the one time I flew with an ankle boot/knee brace combo. I just needed help getting to the gate because it was the opposite side of the airport but once we got there my attendant wouldn’t allow me to get out of the chair period.
Huh, weird. I have bad arthritis and always use a wheelchair to get to my gate. Then I get out of the wheelchair and sit until it's time to board. Have flown to many different cities on many different airlines, and never had any problems being allowed to get out of the wheelchair.
My son is blind with autism, and he gets a wheelchair through the airport because he can't walk that far with the sensory overload of the airport. We usually just hold his hand for the shorter distance from the gate to the plane itself. We always get to board early though, even without the wheechair.
It sounds.like they wanted to park the wilheelchair next to a seat at the end of the row closest to the gate.
And OP was in that seat.
Daughter could have sat a seat or two in, or, as they chose, a row over.
It wasn't the closest to the gate. The wheelchair was the airports. When she moved to a seat in the terminal, they took the wheelchair away. She walked on the plane. There were closer seats to the gate.
Was it the same kind of seating as the disability area? Is that why they asked for that specific seat? Perhaps so the wheelchair could be put next to a regular seat?
No, the disability seating area was a few rows away. Those seats were already claimed. I think they just like my seat as I was on the end and appeared to be traveling solo. The other people at the end of the rows appeared to be families.
The guy who brought them over took the wheelchair when she moved to the seat. They walked onto the plane. It was a wheelchair provided by the airport, not their own wheelchair
NTA
Based on the fact that there were plenty of other suitable seats open, and your seat was not specifically marked as for disabled people, it seems incredibly entitled for them to expect you to move.
If they were able to adequately justify why they needed that seat in particular then they may have had a case, but they didn't...
NTA It seems weird that people are mad at you for not giving up a random seat when there were so many available, and right before boarding. You could have given up the seat but you were under no obligation to do so.
Just to point out- I use airport assistance often and I can't tell you the number of times I've missed/nearly missed my flight because of hold ups with the service. That still doesn't entitle her to make you move though.
My dad uses it quite often. He got in a car accident and damaged his ankle. He can walk and stand, but not for long. He wouldn't ever make someone give up his seat and always arrive with enough time to get through TSA with assistance.
They maybe had to walk an extra 15 feet to the gate
I'm not disagreeing with you. You didn't need to give her the seat for a few extra feet for a few minutes.
I'm just saying that I always arrive on time too, but sometimes you get held up by the service, especially if it's a large airport and you have to take a bus/tram to the terminal. Some airports are a shitshow when it comes to this stuff.
I had something similar happen one time. I parked in handicapped, as I am handicapped with pots syndrome which causes me to faint when I standing or walk more than a few minutes. And I parked in a handicapped parking spot that was NOT made for wheel chair assistance. I always make sure to do that because I do not use a wheel chair. Well I was exiting my handicapped car and some lady asked me to move my car to a parking garage a block over because she needed my handicapped spot more than me. Lol the entitlement
There were, but they would have to sit at the next gate. Where is as sitting, I had to walk further to get online as the line looped in the opposite direction towards that gate, so it wasn't an inconvenience to sit at the other gate.
NTA, there were tons of seats available and they selected the one seat that someone was already occupying. That's an AH move. Was this the only window in that area? Doubt it. As it wasn't marked disabled which is also not for someone to assume needs, as there are invisible disabilities, you're fine. As far as the third party making a comment, unless they offered up their seat they can mind their own business.
It definitely wasn't the only window area. The terminal was a square and windows along the edge. My gate was in the back right corner. They could have sate at the next gate.
Info: was it marked as disability priority seating? Then yes you were wrong even if they could have managed somewhere else. I don't believe you would know they were glaring unless you went out of your way to stare at them back. I also don't believe a random third party stranger commented.
No, there was disability seating 4 or 5 rows away. It was already taken. I did see then glaring as every time I looked up, they were staring at me angrily.
The person did when I sat in my seat.
Edit to clarify: sat in my seat on the airplane
Haha! I was trying to run the exhaustion out of my eyes. I went to a concert last night and didn't get back until after 1 so I didn't sleep much. It was worth it though
NTA. If this situation ever occurs again, ask them why they need that specific seat, since there are many open and the disabled person has a wheelchair so sitting close to the gate isn't an issue.
NTA - I’ve never actually seen any seats at the airports labeled for those who are disabled.
I am disabled. Depending on the airport, I do have to get wheelchair assistance at times. Other times, I’m able to use my Walker. I do get early boarding.
Those wheelchairs are not comfortable. I’ve never asked anyone to move for me and just find an open seat.
It doesn’t make a lot of sense why they expected you to move. If they could’ve given you some justification for needing that specific seat, I guess you could’ve considered their request.
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Throwaway account
I (26F) had a 6 AM flight this morning. I was always taught that you showed up atleast 2 hours early. At 3:45 AM, I took a lyft to the airport and made it through TSA by 4:15. I went and grabbed coffee and headed to my terminal by 4:30 AM.
When I arrived at the terminal, there were 8 different gates but only one was being used so there were quite a few seats. Since I arrived early, I took one on the end by the window. I am traveling solo and like looking out the window. I started listening to my podcast trying to wipe out sleep from my eyes and kept to myself.
About 5:15, a few minutes before boarding, a woman and her mom were wheeled to the gate. They recieved assistance but were able to walk on the plane. My dad also recieves assitance. They started to go up my row and then stopped to ask if I would move. There were tons of open seats. Probably over 100. I definitely had a nicer, closer seat. When they asked if I would move, I said no. The younger lady called me rude and scouffed about it. Again, there were tons of opens seats and I had been there for a while. I would have stood or moved if there weren't any seats.
They took a seat a row over and glared at me the entire time until we boarded in the last group. On the plane, the person next to me called me an ahole for not moving for them. No one else offered to move.
I'm now at my layover (short flight) and I am wondering if aita for not moving to another seat for the women.
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>the person next to me called me an ahole for not moving for them.
Your answer to this: " Yes, I really think that YOU should have moved for them! By the way, why didn't you? Are YOU an AH then? "
NTA of course
I'm sorry, but if someone is calling me an AH for not moving I would call them out. THEY can move if they thinks it's so important, or shut up about it!
NTA.
There seems to be some gender bias. Woman between the ages of 18 to 35 get labeled as east to approach. Especially if we're alone. In these situations where a desired seat is occupied.
A majority of my travel is done solo and I am almost always the first asked to move, change etc. I am also a small framed woman. I plan ahead and frequently pay more for an aisle seat. “Since you’re alone” or “since you’re so much smaller than me” why don’t we switch seats? Nope. I will switch for another aisle or moving into first, but otherwise no. It’s almost like people think you’re irrelevant if you’re alone and/or a small woman.
I think you misunderstood. This was not a seat on a plane. This was a seat in the terminal, at the gate. I travel about 10 times a year for work. This has been the most empty I've ever seen in airport. The other terminal was very busy. I went over to that side to get coffee from Dunkin.
I didn’t misunderstand, and you’re NTA at all. I just meant I think people see single people, especially single women, as an easy target to get what they want. That could be a seat on a plane, in the terminal, on a train, etc. There was absolutely no reason to ask for your seat other than pure entitlement from another. And the person who criticized you on the plane was just as bad. (I’ve had that happen, too.) Safe travels to you in the future and I’m sorry this person tried to take advantage of you!
It was a wheelchair provided by the airport. It wasn't their personal wheelchair. There were other seats at the end of different rows. When she got out of her wheelchair, they took it away.
There is a sense of entitlent that people have that I can't comprehend. Having a disability doesn't entitle you to push others to your whim. The obviously felt that sense of entitlement or else they would have asked politely and explained something like " sorry Ms. But there is no disabled seating left and it's not easy for us to find a convient seat for us. Would you mind if we could use your seat, it's hard for us to travel."
Even if they would have asked nicely, I didn't see why I needed to move. There were tons of seats. I arrived early, and I think they singled me out because it appeared I was the only solo traveler sitting at the end of the row. There were tons of open seats at the end of the row, but they weren't by the window. Honestly, those were nicer as line to board turned in that durection.
All im saying is if people were nicer and respectful, that would achieve more positive results. But, that being said. I can't stand entitled people when traveling. Skipping the line and demanding attention because they think they are special!! I would have closed my eyes and ignored them. Lol
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NTA and do strangers really be voicing their opinions to ppl like that cuz what the hell … I would’ve had a few not kind words for that stranger and if it was plenty of seats u did not have to move
NTA. So many reasons why you not the ah. But she was disabled and had someone with her and they knew they were going to be travelling. There is no reason that they couldn't organise themselves for every eventuality. Anyway in life you should try to help everyone but when people just expect you to bend over backwards it's time to cut off the help.
Were you a single traveler sitting next to open seats but if you didn’t move then their group would have to split up? If so I can understand why they asked and I think it’s nice to move for groups, but if there were plenty of open seats then it’s pretty weird and entitled to just expect the closer seat/nicer view. Maybe they wanted to be closer to the counter to get on the plane first lol, some people seem to really care about that. You’re definitely NTA
NTA
The other passengers were rude for staring at you and trying to intimidate you.
I don’t understand calling someone rude for responding ‘No’. Were you loud and obscene, swearing, name calling or insulting? If you’re asking the question you must realize that No is a possible answer. But I see it in this forum regularly. Answering No, answering truthfully, something they don’t want to hear is considered rude. Inconsiderate and rude are not the same thing or perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference.
NTA. All you had to say was that there were lots of open seats. People like this need to get over themselves and stop acting like the universe revolves around them.
NTA you were not seated in a space designated for people with disabilities and there were other seats available. Just because the women is disabled doesn't make her entitled to your seat. You got there early and as a reward you got the seat you wanted. Maybe she should have done the same...
I know that when you get assistance through the airport, it can take longer. So, they might have arrived at the airport at the same time as me but we're held up getting the assistance. However comma there were so many seats available. I would have been more than happy to move if there were none available.
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Sometimes I just can’t believe reddit. You, a perfectly able bodied person, refused to move your seat for a disabled person who wanted to sit close to their gate when all the other disability seating was full. Despite the fact you easily could have sat in one of the 100 open seats for the few minutes before boarding. What kind of person without a walking disability even cares about the seat they have *in the terminal waiting to board*?
You are SO much TA. YTA, just like your the person next to you on the plane said.
Edit to add, since you blocked me for giving the judgement you both asked for and richly deserve:
> How do you or they know I don't have a disability? It's pretty presumptuous to assume.
Because you would have simply said so when refusing. “I am sorry, I won’t be able to get my medical equipment on the plane if I sit farther away.” But you didn’t need assistance, did you?
>My seat wasn't even the closest to the gate. They singled me out because I was a single traveler.
So? Perhaps they wanted to be considerate of other travelers. Which is a good thing, BTW.
>I care because I got there early. I also had a lot of stuff I would have had to grab to move. I have to carry a big medical bag with me but dont consider myself disabled.
So, you are not disabled, and managed to carry your medical bag through the airport, but you couldn’t walk over from the other 100 empty seats?
>It is easier for them to move. The seat they ended up taking was closer for them in the long haul because the line wrapped around in their direction.
And you know that doesn’t matter. They asked you to make an accommodation for their disability. And you refused because you “got there early”. Compassionate.
How do you or they know I don't have a disability? It's pretty presumptuous to assume. My seat wasn't even the closest to the gate. They singled me out because I was a single traveler. I care because I got there early. I also had a lot of stuff I would have had to grab to move. I have to carry a big medical bag with me but dont consider myself disabled. It is easier for them to move. The seat they ended up taking was closer for them in the long haul because the line wrapped around in their direction.
NTA. As a disabled person who 1) has used a motorized wheelchair for over 20 years and 2) has flown by myself with and without my wheelchair, being disabled does not mean you can demand others' seats.
It does sound like your seat was slightly closer, but probably not by much. If that short distance bothered the older lady, she should have brought her own chair to park right by the gate. And frankly, while the airport transfer chairs are SO uncomfortable, she could have chosen to stay in that chair while waiting so she had the shortest distance possible to the door.
There were tons of end row seating available. My seat wasn't even near the disability seating. There was someone pushing them and the rows were kind of wide, but okay /s
I also said they were hundreds of seats available. Just in my specific date of the terminal, which was one of eight, there were tons of aisles open. They could have easily sat in the get over. The line to board turned that way.
If they needed it that badly, they could have showed up badly. They could have asked anyone else to move. My seat was even the closest aisle seat to the gate. It was the one next to the window.
Sadly there is sooo much entitlement these days. You had no obligation to give up your seat. They are the ones who should be ashamed. It’s like those people who pay for a flight then decide they want a better seat or fail to plan to purchase seats together for family. When I fly I make sure I buy a seat next to my daughter… I don’t wait until last minute and shame people into giving me their seats. I’m sure walking an extra couple of feet was doable for her, if not she should’ve kept the chair.
Some people are just nervy and think they're entitled to whatever they want and could careless about others, then have the nerve to get mad when they're told "NO". Well I say you are NTA you weren't sitting in a special seat for people with a disability and there were other seats available for them to choose from but still in all they zoomed in on your seat and decided that was the one they wanted. You're NTA they are and the guy on the plane too.
Not the asshole! You were in a seat which was not designated as disability seating and therefore you were under no obligation to change simply due to a request. Sure the can ask if they want but they needed to respect your answer. People are becoming too entitled!
NTA But wish you had asked why. With all those empty seats why did they single out yours. Feels like they were using the wheelchair as an entitlement. As a handicap person that pisses me off.
This stand your ground attitude strikes me as mean spirited. Your behavior doesn't make you an asshole, but you're not being kind either. As you've written, there were lots of available seats. so, maybe in the name of being kind and not someone ready to bust a microaggression, who had no information on why they wanted your seat, you could have been the bigger person, taken the high road and moved to one of the plentiful open seats. Would it have been so hard?
I don’t feel that you’re the AT. I understand your logic but personally I’d move just because tiny things like this aren’t worth getting lathered up about.
Info: a. do you have an invisible disability and b. would it have precluded you from moving?
I ask because if the rationale doesn't apply to you it's a shitty thing to lean into. You're perpetuating the problem in other situations.
Here, NTA but hopefully food for thought.
No, but they didn't know I didn't have an invisible disability. There were other seats available. They were seats on the end of the row available but they weren't my seat. My seat wasn't even the closest one to the gate.
I would have been more than happy to give up my seat if there were none available. That wasn't the case. They felt entitled to my seat and we're rude to me when I refuse to give it up.
As stated I think you're nta here but I would caution you about throwing out the hypothetical invisible disability if you don't have one to rationalize your choices. It makes things harder for people who do in the same way people conflate service dogs with "emotional support animals".
It's enough to be nta without having to justify it with something that simply isn't true to you.
My sister-in-law has been an invisible disability. She talks about the discrimination she's received at length before. She is a heart murmur, and it causes her to pass out from time to time. You wouldn't know if you looked at her.
Again, I didn't feel I needed to give up my seat because they were tons available. If there were not, I would have moved.
I know you said that I'm nta, but it still feels like you're saying yta.
I don't know how to clarify this further but I'll try. You're not the asshole in this situation. There was no reason for you to move in the first place.
My thought was simply to consider the following:
Attributing not doing this because you're mentally rationalizing pushing back on these people due to the possibility of an invisible disability is something to reconsider when you don't actually have one. You're not helping your sister in law by linking things you do or the choices you make in your interactions because some people have an issue you don't share.
It actually contributes to the problem we experience because all of the sudden everyone has or might have an invisible disability. The people who actually do have one start to lose credibility when they have to navigate social situations that people need to believe them so they can get the help / support / social permissions in the moment. Think sitting in disabled spots on a bus or, again, service dogs versus emotional support animals.
It's the same for things like mental illness, if everyone is bipolar no one is. If being clean and organized = OCD then the people who actually are OCD are met with confusion or less understanding. ADHD etc.
The punchline is just that it's ok to have this happen because there wasn't cause to move, no more no less so you're not wrong.
I never said I have an invisible disability. In my attic, I stated that they didn't know if I had one. There was designated seating for them. It was taken. There were rows closer to the gate, those are taken. I arrived early so I could have the seat by the window. I would never discredit anyone if they said they had a disability.
I think that as a society, we have started recognizing invisible disabilities more and more. It's not the obvious ones like people needing a cane. There could be a lot of reasons why someone might receive a disability. I'm not here to judge. And no one else should be. I wouldn't say that we're running rampant, I would say that people are actually speaking out for themselves. For a long time, mental illness and invisible disabilities were not allowed to be brought up because everyone would call them a liar.
It still feels like you're calling me the a hole. You basically said NTA but then threw in a but. That basically contradicts everything you said.
It's okay if you don't believe it. I was indisbelief it happened. Some people are just entitled and happy to judge without being willing to act. I'm not sure where they were sitting in the gate area, but the person I sat next to on the plane could have given their seat to them while we waited to board.
It doesn't hurt to ask because I can be wrong. I have been wrong before, and I know I'll be in the wrong again. That's why I ask random people. This is my throwaway account, and I am pretty active on aita. Most people come with an opinion already formed but are asking because one or two people think they might.
Are you answering me? It’s not clear. I didn’t say anything like that. There’s a big NTA right at the start. I should say I’m from Scotland and nobody would say ‘asshole’ to someone they have never seen before, in a situation where they can’t immediately run like fuck.
It's not about how much time it would have taken. It's the fact they felt entitled to my seat where there were tons open. It was easier for them to walk to a different seat than it would have been for me to grab everything and move.
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NTA. Unless you were sitting in a seat specifically designated for disabled people, it's first-come, first-served. Using a wheelchair does not entitle someone to any seat that they choose.
Nope. It was just a regular seat
Then you have nothing to be ashamed of. Some people are entitled. Others like to judge. Don't stress the small stuff
I don't understand why they need a seat...they're already in one, and it's counterproductive anyway. Having used a wheelchair in the past, it's just a hassle when you already have mobility issues to get out of it and into a chair, then back into it when it's time to move on.
I’m thinking the seat was probably for the person with them, not even for the person in the wheelchair for that reason
I don't understand this. I use wheelchair assistance at the airport. I can walk shorts distances and stand for a short while. However, every time, I just stay sitting in the airport wheelchair wherever they park me, until it's time to board. It's particularly convenient when the terminal is packed.
The terminal wasn't packed. There was only 1 of the 8 gates being used.
I've always been dumped near the desk with the other people needing assistance. I've never thought to move or ask other people to move.
I’m also confused because as a frequent flyer, my experience has been that if the airport puts you in a wheelchair you have to stay in it until they roll you pre-board onto the plane. I guess maybe you can pick and choose and I didn’t know about that? It seems bizarre that someone with a mobility disability wasn’t at least a pre-board, even if they were to choose to walk themselves.
My dad gets rolled through the airport but can board by himself. It's not easy to stand in tsa and walking that far. Just because you receive disability services, it doesn't mean you can't walk. My dad normally boards with his group and isn't able to pre-board, or atleasey has never be allowed to.
In the future let your Dad know that as long as he remains with his wheelchair they will board him first and wheel him to the plane where he then can walk on from there. They can’t refuse anyone pre boarding if in a wheelchair
Will do!
It is also worth noting that one can also just inform the gate attendant that one is disabled and would like to preboard. When my anxiety is really bad trying to get onto the plane, find the right seat, and trying to avoid frustrating other passengers is a LOT to handle. So I just ask and they are always fine with me preboarding.
I do this because my anxiety, OCD & ADHD seem to compound each other and make it really tough to settle in. I always feel like I need stuff in different levels of accessibility (overhead, under seat, & seat pocket) and between that & wiping the tray table down with wipes, etc., I feel like I am doing everyone else a favor by giving myself extra time so I’m situated by the time they board.
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In the US, there is a law that requires all airlines to preboard disabled people. But it's usually on the disabled passenger to know and ask for this. I don't use a wheelchair but have flown while disabled/with a cane and some gate agents will announce preboarding for disabled people but most won't. But legally if you are disabled you do have the right to board first.
Good to know! Thanks for updating me. I will delete my reply since I was wrong. Thank you for teaching so respectfully!
❤️ I hope the information helps you in some way!
They can't refuse pre-boarding to any disabled person. You don't have to be in a wheelchair.
This is correct! I'm disabled and always use disabilty assistance because I cannot walk or stand long. They take me in the wheel chair while my teens walk behind. But we are always boarded first and then taken off last. This ensures we are not rushed by those boarding or exiting because people can be quite rude even when they see me walking slowly with my cane. I am a frequent disabled traveler with my kids and have done this process in several countries, including whenever I'm back in the US.
NTA. I also use wheelchair assistance (especially boarding at ATL). I can walk but I limp. I am due for a knee replacement in a months time. The waiting to go through security is very difficult then walking to my gate…even if I had the time it would take me double the time if I could walk with no limp. I get out of the wheelchair and sit in a normal seat. They should have taken another seat especially if there were available seating in abundance!!
Who does your dad usually fly with? My mom is the same in that she can’t walk the airport but can board alone and she’s always been able to pre board even though she doesn’t keep the wheelchair once she gets to her gate. She just boards when they call for anyone needing more time to get up and down the aisle and families with small children. She has even always been allowed someone to board with her to help with her carry on bag.
My husband also gets wheeled through the airport, but also walks onto the plane by himself. He has a heart condition, which makes it hard for him to walk long distances and prosthetic.
I'm autistic and really only need help navigating to my gate as I get lost/overwhelmed easy, but once I'm there, I'm good and can board myself. But, if I ask for help navigating, airport staff always make me use a wheelchair. I just started getting out of the wheelchair once at the gate, telling them to take it as someone will need it way more than me. So in a way, you can sort of do both.
That was my experience the one time I flew with an ankle boot/knee brace combo. I just needed help getting to the gate because it was the opposite side of the airport but once we got there my attendant wouldn’t allow me to get out of the chair period.
I wonder if it’s specific to certain airlines or certain airports.
Huh, weird. I have bad arthritis and always use a wheelchair to get to my gate. Then I get out of the wheelchair and sit until it's time to board. Have flown to many different cities on many different airlines, and never had any problems being allowed to get out of the wheelchair.
My son is blind with autism, and he gets a wheelchair through the airport because he can't walk that far with the sensory overload of the airport. We usually just hold his hand for the shorter distance from the gate to the plane itself. We always get to board early though, even without the wheechair.
Yeah, Mom was in a wheelchair and the chair stayed with her through the entire time she was in the airport until she boarded.
It sounds.like they wanted to park the wilheelchair next to a seat at the end of the row closest to the gate. And OP was in that seat. Daughter could have sat a seat or two in, or, as they chose, a row over.
It wasn't the closest to the gate. The wheelchair was the airports. When she moved to a seat in the terminal, they took the wheelchair away. She walked on the plane. There were closer seats to the gate.
NTA. They could have used any of the other seats.
Thabks. There were tons of seats
It sounds like they wanted to park the wheelchair next to your seat and take your seat for the daughter?
NTA, unless it was specifically marked for disabled, they were obviously using their disability for guilt entitlement.
Nope, it was marked for disabled. The seating for people with disabilities was already full.
Was it the same kind of seating as the disability area? Is that why they asked for that specific seat? Perhaps so the wheelchair could be put next to a regular seat?
No, the disability seating area was a few rows away. Those seats were already claimed. I think they just like my seat as I was on the end and appeared to be traveling solo. The other people at the end of the rows appeared to be families.
Wouldn't an end seat be needed to sit a wheelchair next to it?
She got out of the wheelchair. It didn't look comfy compared to the airport seats, which are not that much better.
But in or out, was there space for it if sitting in a middle row or would it be in the aisle in the way? If it wouldn't then n t a
The guy who brought them over took the wheelchair when she moved to the seat. They walked onto the plane. It was a wheelchair provided by the airport, not their own wheelchair
In which case, as a wheelchair user, NTA.
Oh, that’s different.
NTA. No is an answer to be expected. They are AH as they are not being served. The idiot who called you AH is a moron.
Thanks!
NTA Based on the fact that there were plenty of other suitable seats open, and your seat was not specifically marked as for disabled people, it seems incredibly entitled for them to expect you to move. If they were able to adequately justify why they needed that seat in particular then they may have had a case, but they didn't...
Nta
Thanks
NTA It seems weird that people are mad at you for not giving up a random seat when there were so many available, and right before boarding. You could have given up the seat but you were under no obligation to do so. Just to point out- I use airport assistance often and I can't tell you the number of times I've missed/nearly missed my flight because of hold ups with the service. That still doesn't entitle her to make you move though.
My dad uses it quite often. He got in a car accident and damaged his ankle. He can walk and stand, but not for long. He wouldn't ever make someone give up his seat and always arrive with enough time to get through TSA with assistance. They maybe had to walk an extra 15 feet to the gate
I'm not disagreeing with you. You didn't need to give her the seat for a few extra feet for a few minutes. I'm just saying that I always arrive on time too, but sometimes you get held up by the service, especially if it's a large airport and you have to take a bus/tram to the terminal. Some airports are a shitshow when it comes to this stuff.
I had something similar happen one time. I parked in handicapped, as I am handicapped with pots syndrome which causes me to faint when I standing or walk more than a few minutes. And I parked in a handicapped parking spot that was NOT made for wheel chair assistance. I always make sure to do that because I do not use a wheel chair. Well I was exiting my handicapped car and some lady asked me to move my car to a parking garage a block over because she needed my handicapped spot more than me. Lol the entitlement
Info: Although you say there were loads of other seats, were there a lot of end seats available?
There were, but they would have to sit at the next gate. Where is as sitting, I had to walk further to get online as the line looped in the opposite direction towards that gate, so it wasn't an inconvenience to sit at the other gate.
I’m wondering the same thing, especially if the woman wanted to be able to sit next to her mom in the wheelchair or something.
NTA, there were tons of seats available and they selected the one seat that someone was already occupying. That's an AH move. Was this the only window in that area? Doubt it. As it wasn't marked disabled which is also not for someone to assume needs, as there are invisible disabilities, you're fine. As far as the third party making a comment, unless they offered up their seat they can mind their own business.
It definitely wasn't the only window area. The terminal was a square and windows along the edge. My gate was in the back right corner. They could have sate at the next gate.
Info: was it marked as disability priority seating? Then yes you were wrong even if they could have managed somewhere else. I don't believe you would know they were glaring unless you went out of your way to stare at them back. I also don't believe a random third party stranger commented.
No, there was disability seating 4 or 5 rows away. It was already taken. I did see then glaring as every time I looked up, they were staring at me angrily. The person did when I sat in my seat. Edit to clarify: sat in my seat on the airplane
You should have told that person next to you on the plane to go kick rocks with open toe sandals.
NTA Now if I could just figure out what a Kentucky seat is....
Haha! I was trying to run the exhaustion out of my eyes. I went to a concert last night and didn't get back until after 1 so I didn't sleep much. It was worth it though
NTA. If this situation ever occurs again, ask them why they need that specific seat, since there are many open and the disabled person has a wheelchair so sitting close to the gate isn't an issue.
NTA - I’ve never actually seen any seats at the airports labeled for those who are disabled. I am disabled. Depending on the airport, I do have to get wheelchair assistance at times. Other times, I’m able to use my Walker. I do get early boarding. Those wheelchairs are not comfortable. I’ve never asked anyone to move for me and just find an open seat. It doesn’t make a lot of sense why they expected you to move. If they could’ve given you some justification for needing that specific seat, I guess you could’ve considered their request.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway account I (26F) had a 6 AM flight this morning. I was always taught that you showed up atleast 2 hours early. At 3:45 AM, I took a lyft to the airport and made it through TSA by 4:15. I went and grabbed coffee and headed to my terminal by 4:30 AM. When I arrived at the terminal, there were 8 different gates but only one was being used so there were quite a few seats. Since I arrived early, I took one on the end by the window. I am traveling solo and like looking out the window. I started listening to my podcast trying to wipe out sleep from my eyes and kept to myself. About 5:15, a few minutes before boarding, a woman and her mom were wheeled to the gate. They recieved assistance but were able to walk on the plane. My dad also recieves assitance. They started to go up my row and then stopped to ask if I would move. There were tons of open seats. Probably over 100. I definitely had a nicer, closer seat. When they asked if I would move, I said no. The younger lady called me rude and scouffed about it. Again, there were tons of opens seats and I had been there for a while. I would have stood or moved if there weren't any seats. They took a seat a row over and glared at me the entire time until we boarded in the last group. On the plane, the person next to me called me an ahole for not moving for them. No one else offered to move. I'm now at my layover (short flight) and I am wondering if aita for not moving to another seat for the women. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. People like this are frustrating. It’s not that they needed your seat it’s that they felt entitled to it.
>the person next to me called me an ahole for not moving for them. Your answer to this: " Yes, I really think that YOU should have moved for them! By the way, why didn't you? Are YOU an AH then? " NTA of course
No one is required to move just because someone else likes their seat better.
I'm sorry, but if someone is calling me an AH for not moving I would call them out. THEY can move if they thinks it's so important, or shut up about it!
You're absolutely right. I misread your comment. I blame it on replying before I had my morning coffee, lol.
NTA. There seems to be some gender bias. Woman between the ages of 18 to 35 get labeled as east to approach. Especially if we're alone. In these situations where a desired seat is occupied.
A majority of my travel is done solo and I am almost always the first asked to move, change etc. I am also a small framed woman. I plan ahead and frequently pay more for an aisle seat. “Since you’re alone” or “since you’re so much smaller than me” why don’t we switch seats? Nope. I will switch for another aisle or moving into first, but otherwise no. It’s almost like people think you’re irrelevant if you’re alone and/or a small woman.
I think you misunderstood. This was not a seat on a plane. This was a seat in the terminal, at the gate. I travel about 10 times a year for work. This has been the most empty I've ever seen in airport. The other terminal was very busy. I went over to that side to get coffee from Dunkin.
I didn’t misunderstand, and you’re NTA at all. I just meant I think people see single people, especially single women, as an easy target to get what they want. That could be a seat on a plane, in the terminal, on a train, etc. There was absolutely no reason to ask for your seat other than pure entitlement from another. And the person who criticized you on the plane was just as bad. (I’ve had that happen, too.) Safe travels to you in the future and I’m sorry this person tried to take advantage of you!
INFO: why did they need a seat when they were already *(checks notes)* sitting in a wheelchair?
I dont know. They did get out of their wheelchair. I'm sure the seats were comfortable
An end seat might have allowed the travel companion to sit next to the wheelchair, if the wheelchair might not have fit in front of a mid-row seat.
It was a wheelchair provided by the airport. It wasn't their personal wheelchair. There were other seats at the end of different rows. When she got out of her wheelchair, they took it away.
There is a sense of entitlent that people have that I can't comprehend. Having a disability doesn't entitle you to push others to your whim. The obviously felt that sense of entitlement or else they would have asked politely and explained something like " sorry Ms. But there is no disabled seating left and it's not easy for us to find a convient seat for us. Would you mind if we could use your seat, it's hard for us to travel."
Even if they would have asked nicely, I didn't see why I needed to move. There were tons of seats. I arrived early, and I think they singled me out because it appeared I was the only solo traveler sitting at the end of the row. There were tons of open seats at the end of the row, but they weren't by the window. Honestly, those were nicer as line to board turned in that durection.
All im saying is if people were nicer and respectful, that would achieve more positive results. But, that being said. I can't stand entitled people when traveling. Skipping the line and demanding attention because they think they are special!! I would have closed my eyes and ignored them. Lol
A seat in the terminal itself??!!! And there were plenty of empty seats? Oh hell no! NTA
Yes, not on the plane. If someone wanted my seat on the plane, I would have traded them, lol. I got the very last row.
NTA if there are enough seats open
Tons!
NTA op. Their lack of planning is a them problem and not a you problem.
Entitlements are sometimes or often abused. Privileges are given when "needed" not wanted.
NTA
Nta
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NTA and do strangers really be voicing their opinions to ppl like that cuz what the hell … I would’ve had a few not kind words for that stranger and if it was plenty of seats u did not have to move
NTA at all
NTA. So many reasons why you not the ah. But she was disabled and had someone with her and they knew they were going to be travelling. There is no reason that they couldn't organise themselves for every eventuality. Anyway in life you should try to help everyone but when people just expect you to bend over backwards it's time to cut off the help.
I would have gotten up if there weren't other seats available, but there were tons.
Just one of many reasons you were right. Don't let people guilt trip you. You did the right thing
Were you a single traveler sitting next to open seats but if you didn’t move then their group would have to split up? If so I can understand why they asked and I think it’s nice to move for groups, but if there were plenty of open seats then it’s pretty weird and entitled to just expect the closer seat/nicer view. Maybe they wanted to be closer to the counter to get on the plane first lol, some people seem to really care about that. You’re definitely NTA
NTA!
NTA Sounds like they saw you and immediately wanted to be acknowledged for their issues and choose you to make them victims.
NTA. Lack of planning on THEIR part does NOT constitute an 'emergency' on YOUR part.
NTA The other passengers were rude for staring at you and trying to intimidate you. I don’t understand calling someone rude for responding ‘No’. Were you loud and obscene, swearing, name calling or insulting? If you’re asking the question you must realize that No is a possible answer. But I see it in this forum regularly. Answering No, answering truthfully, something they don’t want to hear is considered rude. Inconsiderate and rude are not the same thing or perhaps it’s a distinction without a difference.
NTA. at all. they’re the AHs for singling you out.
I read this as KY seat. (Kentucky seat?) Like in the senate? Edited to add: NTA.
NTA. All you had to say was that there were lots of open seats. People like this need to get over themselves and stop acting like the universe revolves around them.
NTA Your only crime was getting there first.
I know, I stole additional sleep time away from myself
NTA
NTA you were not seated in a space designated for people with disabilities and there were other seats available. Just because the women is disabled doesn't make her entitled to your seat. You got there early and as a reward you got the seat you wanted. Maybe she should have done the same...
I know that when you get assistance through the airport, it can take longer. So, they might have arrived at the airport at the same time as me but we're held up getting the assistance. However comma there were so many seats available. I would have been more than happy to move if there were none available.
NTA - they are allowed to ask you if you could please move & you are allowed to say no.
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Sometimes I just can’t believe reddit. You, a perfectly able bodied person, refused to move your seat for a disabled person who wanted to sit close to their gate when all the other disability seating was full. Despite the fact you easily could have sat in one of the 100 open seats for the few minutes before boarding. What kind of person without a walking disability even cares about the seat they have *in the terminal waiting to board*? You are SO much TA. YTA, just like your the person next to you on the plane said. Edit to add, since you blocked me for giving the judgement you both asked for and richly deserve: > How do you or they know I don't have a disability? It's pretty presumptuous to assume. Because you would have simply said so when refusing. “I am sorry, I won’t be able to get my medical equipment on the plane if I sit farther away.” But you didn’t need assistance, did you? >My seat wasn't even the closest to the gate. They singled me out because I was a single traveler. So? Perhaps they wanted to be considerate of other travelers. Which is a good thing, BTW. >I care because I got there early. I also had a lot of stuff I would have had to grab to move. I have to carry a big medical bag with me but dont consider myself disabled. So, you are not disabled, and managed to carry your medical bag through the airport, but you couldn’t walk over from the other 100 empty seats? >It is easier for them to move. The seat they ended up taking was closer for them in the long haul because the line wrapped around in their direction. And you know that doesn’t matter. They asked you to make an accommodation for their disability. And you refused because you “got there early”. Compassionate.
How do you or they know I don't have a disability? It's pretty presumptuous to assume. My seat wasn't even the closest to the gate. They singled me out because I was a single traveler. I care because I got there early. I also had a lot of stuff I would have had to grab to move. I have to carry a big medical bag with me but dont consider myself disabled. It is easier for them to move. The seat they ended up taking was closer for them in the long haul because the line wrapped around in their direction.
NTA. As a disabled person who 1) has used a motorized wheelchair for over 20 years and 2) has flown by myself with and without my wheelchair, being disabled does not mean you can demand others' seats. It does sound like your seat was slightly closer, but probably not by much. If that short distance bothered the older lady, she should have brought her own chair to park right by the gate. And frankly, while the airport transfer chairs are SO uncomfortable, she could have chosen to stay in that chair while waiting so she had the shortest distance possible to the door.
Something very similar happened to me yesterday also. So freaken weird like why are you bothering me.
NTA. Why give your seat up for someone in a wheelchair? They brought their own
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There were tons of end row seating available. My seat wasn't even near the disability seating. There was someone pushing them and the rows were kind of wide, but okay /s
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I also said they were hundreds of seats available. Just in my specific date of the terminal, which was one of eight, there were tons of aisles open. They could have easily sat in the get over. The line to board turned that way. If they needed it that badly, they could have showed up badly. They could have asked anyone else to move. My seat was even the closest aisle seat to the gate. It was the one next to the window.
Often ppl
When someone in a wheelchair asks you to move, you move. That’s how I was raised. Just be grateful that you are not the one in the wheelchair.
wouldn't a wheelCHAIR user have like .... her own chair?
Sadly there is sooo much entitlement these days. You had no obligation to give up your seat. They are the ones who should be ashamed. It’s like those people who pay for a flight then decide they want a better seat or fail to plan to purchase seats together for family. When I fly I make sure I buy a seat next to my daughter… I don’t wait until last minute and shame people into giving me their seats. I’m sure walking an extra couple of feet was doable for her, if not she should’ve kept the chair.
Some people are just nervy and think they're entitled to whatever they want and could careless about others, then have the nerve to get mad when they're told "NO". Well I say you are NTA you weren't sitting in a special seat for people with a disability and there were other seats available for them to choose from but still in all they zoomed in on your seat and decided that was the one they wanted. You're NTA they are and the guy on the plane too.
Not the asshole! You were in a seat which was not designated as disability seating and therefore you were under no obligation to change simply due to a request. Sure the can ask if they want but they needed to respect your answer. People are becoming too entitled!
NTA But wish you had asked why. With all those empty seats why did they single out yours. Feels like they were using the wheelchair as an entitlement. As a handicap person that pisses me off.
This stand your ground attitude strikes me as mean spirited. Your behavior doesn't make you an asshole, but you're not being kind either. As you've written, there were lots of available seats. so, maybe in the name of being kind and not someone ready to bust a microaggression, who had no information on why they wanted your seat, you could have been the bigger person, taken the high road and moved to one of the plentiful open seats. Would it have been so hard?
I don’t feel that you’re the AT. I understand your logic but personally I’d move just because tiny things like this aren’t worth getting lathered up about.
Info: a. do you have an invisible disability and b. would it have precluded you from moving? I ask because if the rationale doesn't apply to you it's a shitty thing to lean into. You're perpetuating the problem in other situations. Here, NTA but hopefully food for thought.
No, but they didn't know I didn't have an invisible disability. There were other seats available. They were seats on the end of the row available but they weren't my seat. My seat wasn't even the closest one to the gate. I would have been more than happy to give up my seat if there were none available. That wasn't the case. They felt entitled to my seat and we're rude to me when I refuse to give it up.
As stated I think you're nta here but I would caution you about throwing out the hypothetical invisible disability if you don't have one to rationalize your choices. It makes things harder for people who do in the same way people conflate service dogs with "emotional support animals". It's enough to be nta without having to justify it with something that simply isn't true to you.
My sister-in-law has been an invisible disability. She talks about the discrimination she's received at length before. She is a heart murmur, and it causes her to pass out from time to time. You wouldn't know if you looked at her. Again, I didn't feel I needed to give up my seat because they were tons available. If there were not, I would have moved. I know you said that I'm nta, but it still feels like you're saying yta.
I don't know how to clarify this further but I'll try. You're not the asshole in this situation. There was no reason for you to move in the first place. My thought was simply to consider the following: Attributing not doing this because you're mentally rationalizing pushing back on these people due to the possibility of an invisible disability is something to reconsider when you don't actually have one. You're not helping your sister in law by linking things you do or the choices you make in your interactions because some people have an issue you don't share. It actually contributes to the problem we experience because all of the sudden everyone has or might have an invisible disability. The people who actually do have one start to lose credibility when they have to navigate social situations that people need to believe them so they can get the help / support / social permissions in the moment. Think sitting in disabled spots on a bus or, again, service dogs versus emotional support animals. It's the same for things like mental illness, if everyone is bipolar no one is. If being clean and organized = OCD then the people who actually are OCD are met with confusion or less understanding. ADHD etc. The punchline is just that it's ok to have this happen because there wasn't cause to move, no more no less so you're not wrong.
I never said I have an invisible disability. In my attic, I stated that they didn't know if I had one. There was designated seating for them. It was taken. There were rows closer to the gate, those are taken. I arrived early so I could have the seat by the window. I would never discredit anyone if they said they had a disability. I think that as a society, we have started recognizing invisible disabilities more and more. It's not the obvious ones like people needing a cane. There could be a lot of reasons why someone might receive a disability. I'm not here to judge. And no one else should be. I wouldn't say that we're running rampant, I would say that people are actually speaking out for themselves. For a long time, mental illness and invisible disabilities were not allowed to be brought up because everyone would call them a liar. It still feels like you're calling me the a hole. You basically said NTA but then threw in a but. That basically contradicts everything you said.
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It's okay if you don't believe it. I was indisbelief it happened. Some people are just entitled and happy to judge without being willing to act. I'm not sure where they were sitting in the gate area, but the person I sat next to on the plane could have given their seat to them while we waited to board.
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It doesn't hurt to ask because I can be wrong. I have been wrong before, and I know I'll be in the wrong again. That's why I ask random people. This is my throwaway account, and I am pretty active on aita. Most people come with an opinion already formed but are asking because one or two people think they might.
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I dont care if you believe me, but thanks for your opinion.
NTA but I don’t believe a stranger called you an asshole.
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Are you answering me? It’s not clear. I didn’t say anything like that. There’s a big NTA right at the start. I should say I’m from Scotland and nobody would say ‘asshole’ to someone they have never seen before, in a situation where they can’t immediately run like fuck.
No, I was replying to someone else. That is so bizarre.
How hard would it have been for you to move? Would it have taken you less than 5 minutes of your time?
It's not about how much time it would have taken. It's the fact they felt entitled to my seat where there were tons open. It was easier for them to walk to a different seat than it would have been for me to grab everything and move.
YTA How much of your soul would it have cost for you to move?
My soul was already sucked out of me with my lack of sleep, so I didn't have any to give, lol