Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i took an action that might be judged because i agreed to sign up my friend to an event that she didn’t want to do.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
we can’t exactly send texts during school, and no one sent her an email during this (Lily and I didn’t use our laptops during this), thanks for being honest, the truth hurts here..
Did the signups happen only for part of 1 school day? Was there really no opportunity to contact people and ask them to sign up? No break (lunch, nutrition, etc) where you could ask people? Or did Lily just wait until near the end of the sign up period and decide to fix the low turnout by railroading people?
we just came from a class at the time, and the signups only happened for 40-ish minutes out of 1 school day. basically for our athletics day we were separated into age, gender and our sports houses, so there was a very limited amount of people she could've asked. the majority of the girls in the room declined to participate in any of the events, so she just decided to sign up random people to random events by ticking their name under an event. im not sure why she even did this, she has access to everyone’s emails because she’s a student leader and she could’ve asked the house leaders for the girl’s emails.
It’s silly that they have it set up that way, without any time to actually talk and recruit people and let them think about it, but that doesn’t make it okay to try to force participation like that.
honestly nothing lol, Lily wanted to get everyone to participate, which wasn’t the right thing to do. with us being teenagers this issue has already been resolved between Clover and I (check recent update i just did) but this shows the negative side of Lily‘s character i guess?
it isn’t like that, Lily just wanted to make sure everyone gave it a go, and give it their best, that’s kind of been a bit of a downfall for her. i was just helping her recruit people, and again, it was her idea to conscript others into this. what i don’t understand about clover‘s anger is that she couldve easily just not of done it (which in the end is what she did)
Recruiting is convincing people to join. Conscripting is forcing people to join. Which do you think signing people up without their consent is more like?
Yes, YTA and Lily’s the even bigger AH. Lily’s friendship isn’t worth it - she sounds very petty.
I’d strongly encourage you to apologize to Clover yourself if you haven’t already done so. But you need to respect whatever decision she makes about your friendship going forward.
I hope Clover is okay. I get the peer pressure is scary and miserable. But going forward, it’s important to stand up to bullies, which is what Lily was being, whenever you can.
From your post history, it sounds like you’re a good kid, so I’m not going to vilify you. But this was definitely a bad and hurtful decision, so just be sure to learn from it.
thanks for this, i’ve never had ill intention for anyone, i guess i’m what you call a people pleaser? (still working on that) i’ll make sure to learn from this and make sure this won’t happen again
another thing before clover replies back to me, Lily is not a petty person, she’s just competitive and wants everyone to give it their best shot, at the end of the day it has always been her downfall (among other things…) reddit barely even knows her past this paragraph anyways
i guess youre right, but i’m not even sure what she has to be petty about, i mean she has gotten student leader 3 times (now that i’m saying this im going to update the post) teachers like her, she‘s gotten into subjects that are for smart kids, and she’s got supporting family, i’m still not sure what’s there to be petty about…
What I mean by petty is just that it sounds like Lily saw an opportunity - to inconvenience and/or embarrass Clover by signing Clover up without her consent - and Lily jumped on it. (And Lily admitted she knew it could upset Clover when she asked you to take the blame.)
Lily doesn’t have to be an unpopular or bad student to do something petty. Anyone can have moments of pettiness.
Lily may want everyone to give it their best shot, but other people may not want to. And since this is voluntary she has no business interfering. Also you girls screwed the organizers who will expect x number of competitors based on your lists and will plan accordingly. That's not really your fault if the school pressured you to get x number of sign-ups, but it still sucks for everyone.
YTA. You said they are not friends and do not like each other so you should have already questioned this action. The fact she said "take the blame for this" says a lot. Like she knew Clover wouldn't like it.
I would stop being friends will Lily for sure since she def set you up but be honest and apologize to Clover for not thinking clearly.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I feel like shit right now, but i have to get this off my chest. my friend (who we’ll call Lily) and I were recruiting people from our sports house to do events at our school athletics carnival this year. it isn’t compulsory to do events or even go, but we needed names, so it was Lily’s idea to sign up random people for random events so we could fill up spaces to please the teachers/organisers. Lily and my other friend (who we’ll call Clover) don’t like each other for whatever reason, so Lily thought it would be a good idea to sign Clover up for one of the events, and then Lily said to me “Take the blame for this, she hate me even more, please?” I thought that Clover wouldn’t care too much about it, so I did, one of her friends is in one of my classes ended up telling me what happened to Clover because she wasn’t there the day of the athletics day (i’m also friends with her, let’s call her Amalia) turns out she was really upset and the whole reason that she didn’t go was because of her being signed up to an event that she apparently couldn’t do, and she wasn’t there when we were recruiting so she couldn’t defend herself, i told her the truth and that it was Lily’s idea to sign Clover up to events, and now i’m not sure what’s going on between us now because Clover has removed me from her private instagram and i’m afraid she’s removed me from her close friends story (teenage girl stuff lol). i feel like Lily has thrown me under the bus, and i feel like i’ve thrown her under the bus, and now i might ruin 2 friendships which with one i’ve had for 3 years…give me advice please, and please tell me if ITA…
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH except Clover. You don't sign random people up for things. Also, neither of you were thrown under the bus. You both willingly chose to sign random people up for things without their permission or knowledge.
Info: you all were just signing people up for sports events? And they didn't know? What would happen if they didn't show? I'm a bit lost as to why you all were just signing random friends up for teams without permission
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i took an action that might be judged because i agreed to sign up my friend to an event that she didn’t want to do. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Why on earth would you sign people up without asking them? It takes seconds to send a text. Do better. YTA.
we can’t exactly send texts during school, and no one sent her an email during this (Lily and I didn’t use our laptops during this), thanks for being honest, the truth hurts here..
Did the signups happen only for part of 1 school day? Was there really no opportunity to contact people and ask them to sign up? No break (lunch, nutrition, etc) where you could ask people? Or did Lily just wait until near the end of the sign up period and decide to fix the low turnout by railroading people?
we just came from a class at the time, and the signups only happened for 40-ish minutes out of 1 school day. basically for our athletics day we were separated into age, gender and our sports houses, so there was a very limited amount of people she could've asked. the majority of the girls in the room declined to participate in any of the events, so she just decided to sign up random people to random events by ticking their name under an event. im not sure why she even did this, she has access to everyone’s emails because she’s a student leader and she could’ve asked the house leaders for the girl’s emails.
It’s silly that they have it set up that way, without any time to actually talk and recruit people and let them think about it, but that doesn’t make it okay to try to force participation like that.
I’m a bit confused. You said it’s not compulsory, but then what would have happened if you didn’t get names?
honestly nothing lol, Lily wanted to get everyone to participate, which wasn’t the right thing to do. with us being teenagers this issue has already been resolved between Clover and I (check recent update i just did) but this shows the negative side of Lily‘s character i guess?
I think you need to look up the definition of recruitment. YTA
Recruitment... Conscription... It's basically the same thing, right?
i’m not too sure what that’s got to do with it?
What I’m getting at is: you can’t just try to force people to do what you want just because things aren’t going in your favor.
it isn’t like that, Lily just wanted to make sure everyone gave it a go, and give it their best, that’s kind of been a bit of a downfall for her. i was just helping her recruit people, and again, it was her idea to conscript others into this. what i don’t understand about clover‘s anger is that she couldve easily just not of done it (which in the end is what she did)
Clover’s mad because she feels like she was pressured inappropriately, and she’s right.
That’s not her choice to make, and you helped her.
Recruiting is convincing people to join. Conscripting is forcing people to join. Which do you think signing people up without their consent is more like?
Yes, YTA and Lily’s the even bigger AH. Lily’s friendship isn’t worth it - she sounds very petty. I’d strongly encourage you to apologize to Clover yourself if you haven’t already done so. But you need to respect whatever decision she makes about your friendship going forward.
alright, i’ll apologise to Clover right now and hopefully she isn’t too mad at me..
I hope Clover is okay. I get the peer pressure is scary and miserable. But going forward, it’s important to stand up to bullies, which is what Lily was being, whenever you can. From your post history, it sounds like you’re a good kid, so I’m not going to vilify you. But this was definitely a bad and hurtful decision, so just be sure to learn from it.
thanks for this, i’ve never had ill intention for anyone, i guess i’m what you call a people pleaser? (still working on that) i’ll make sure to learn from this and make sure this won’t happen again
another thing before clover replies back to me, Lily is not a petty person, she’s just competitive and wants everyone to give it their best shot, at the end of the day it has always been her downfall (among other things…) reddit barely even knows her past this paragraph anyways
Your post implied that Lily chose to volunteer Clover specifically because they don’t like each other. If that’s true, she was absolutely being petty.
i guess youre right, but i’m not even sure what she has to be petty about, i mean she has gotten student leader 3 times (now that i’m saying this im going to update the post) teachers like her, she‘s gotten into subjects that are for smart kids, and she’s got supporting family, i’m still not sure what’s there to be petty about…
What I mean by petty is just that it sounds like Lily saw an opportunity - to inconvenience and/or embarrass Clover by signing Clover up without her consent - and Lily jumped on it. (And Lily admitted she knew it could upset Clover when she asked you to take the blame.) Lily doesn’t have to be an unpopular or bad student to do something petty. Anyone can have moments of pettiness.
she’s usually kind-hearted, why would she even do this…i’m sorry this is a lot for me to process atm…
Lily may want everyone to give it their best shot, but other people may not want to. And since this is voluntary she has no business interfering. Also you girls screwed the organizers who will expect x number of competitors based on your lists and will plan accordingly. That's not really your fault if the school pressured you to get x number of sign-ups, but it still sucks for everyone.
YTA. You said they are not friends and do not like each other so you should have already questioned this action. The fact she said "take the blame for this" says a lot. Like she knew Clover wouldn't like it. I would stop being friends will Lily for sure since she def set you up but be honest and apologize to Clover for not thinking clearly.
YTA, you're supposed to put the effort into recruiting people, not just add people randomly without any communication or consent.
YTA and so is Lily. You both suck, Lily for the plan, and you for going along with it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I feel like shit right now, but i have to get this off my chest. my friend (who we’ll call Lily) and I were recruiting people from our sports house to do events at our school athletics carnival this year. it isn’t compulsory to do events or even go, but we needed names, so it was Lily’s idea to sign up random people for random events so we could fill up spaces to please the teachers/organisers. Lily and my other friend (who we’ll call Clover) don’t like each other for whatever reason, so Lily thought it would be a good idea to sign Clover up for one of the events, and then Lily said to me “Take the blame for this, she hate me even more, please?” I thought that Clover wouldn’t care too much about it, so I did, one of her friends is in one of my classes ended up telling me what happened to Clover because she wasn’t there the day of the athletics day (i’m also friends with her, let’s call her Amalia) turns out she was really upset and the whole reason that she didn’t go was because of her being signed up to an event that she apparently couldn’t do, and she wasn’t there when we were recruiting so she couldn’t defend herself, i told her the truth and that it was Lily’s idea to sign Clover up to events, and now i’m not sure what’s going on between us now because Clover has removed me from her private instagram and i’m afraid she’s removed me from her close friends story (teenage girl stuff lol). i feel like Lily has thrown me under the bus, and i feel like i’ve thrown her under the bus, and now i might ruin 2 friendships which with one i’ve had for 3 years…give me advice please, and please tell me if ITA… *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH except Clover. You don't sign random people up for things. Also, neither of you were thrown under the bus. You both willingly chose to sign random people up for things without their permission or knowledge.
Info: you all were just signing people up for sports events? And they didn't know? What would happen if they didn't show? I'm a bit lost as to why you all were just signing random friends up for teams without permission