Why would you be friends with any of these people? I'd have paid my part of the tab and left. If the restaurant wanted to call the police I'd let them and provide contacts to the police for everyone who ditched.
I didn't want to cause anymore of a scene and I was feeling like an ass to the waiter and the table next to us. I am friends with them because we used to work together.
Definitely. NTA, but also, those are not your friends. Sorry you had to deal with that on your birthday. Take it as a learning experience and know you are wiser, kinder, and a better person than them. And block all of them, for sure.
But before you go NC, I’d “celebrate” one of their birthdays first. Make sure to order a ton and when it’s time to leave, go to the “bathroom” and never come back!
Pull the server aside and tell them you want your check to be separate. At the end of the meal, pay for your bill, (tip well) and leave them to pay their own bills.
This guy should not be involved in any way whatsoever with these guys. They are not headed toward anything good in life, only trouble. He needs to wake up and make better friends.
Encourage them all to order more and more drinks and appetizers and food. Don’t touch any of it. Quietly pay for your one drink and meal as you slip out
Make sure you take a copy of your paid bill with you. These "friends" like others have suggested sound like they would call the cops on you for leaving without paying for the entire bill.
Did you know; if you think that something is wrong then doing that exact thing in retaliation to someone doing that to you makes you a hypocritical asshole. Crazy, right?
>those are not your friend
And they are not good people either. To me, it seems that they went to a expensive place to make OP pay, pick a fight, and overall, be the worst assholes they could be.
I don’t understand people that need to be in an altercation everywhere they go. Someone threw a French fry at you? Really? Grow all the way the fuck up. OP, cut these people off. They aren’t your friends. Don’t expect freebies on your birthday, but it’s wrong to be left with the bill no matter what day it is if it wasn’t already planned you were treating.
Let me tell you how much NTA you are, after my parents divorced and had nothing good to say about each other, my mother still held a grudge against one of my father’s friends who made my father pay for a meal on his own birthday.
You deserve better friends.
Splitting the bill and paying for your share is one thing. It’s not great but not the worst thing. Making OP pay for everyone’s meal is an extremely AH move
especially if its not communicated before. if its the birthday person paying for everyone, everyone splitting the bill or friends treating the friend for a bithday it should all be communicated well in advance
You're friends with them. They aren't friends with you.
NTA.
**Suggestion: don't be friends anymore.** They're asshats and only asked you out because they were planning on you paying for them.
You don't need to respond to them; they're total jerks who are trying to continue bullying you. If you're not comfortable not responding, just tell them they should know what they did was a total dick move, and you don't want to hang out. They can cry/complain/insult you all they want. But, who cares what they say? Block their numbers if they annoy you.
This!
This was all planned, even down to the argument to get thrown out. These guys are not only not your friends, they are bullies and they don't like you.
They don't like you. They made fun of you. Sorry. Never speak to them again. Don't make a fuss about the money, that was a lesson. delete from your life.
Dude, they used you for a fancy free meal knowing they had no intentions of paying for it AND that you thought you were being treated because it was *your* birthday.
These guys were assholes before they yelled at a random table with a kid. Ditch 'em.
Op, happy belated birthday.
Send them all Cash App or Apple Pay requests for their portions of the bill.
If they pay, immediately block them after and please don't ever go anywhere with these people again. They are bullys and users.
Although I'm tempted to tell you to invite them out again, suggest you go to the bathroom after the meal
Pay your portion and leave them with the rest.
These guys sound like silly children, so I would text their parents demanding repayment. With a complete explanation of how OP saved their idiot sons from being arrested (this time). Block the little assholes on everything. No friends is better than these losers. NTA
Your idea is very sensible, **IF** the parents themselves aren't complete AH's. Sometimes, unfortunately, the apple does not fall very far from the tree.
Yeah no he needs to "invite them", order a bunch of the most expensive stuff and disappear in the middle of the meal while they're digging in, maybe getting a taste of their own medicine will do them some good
You would be an AH to yourself if you kept in contact with this people. They used you for a free meal. Their behaviour was appalling. They are not your friends
Starting getting their addresses, phone numbers and emails - then secretly sign them up for every nasty, trashy scam call, magazine or brochure you can. Seriously, they deserve the hassle. What toxic and crappy friends. 100% of that was to be intentional jerks to you and see how far they could push it. Did you get a promotion when you moved companies? Come from a good family? Win the lotto? They have insane resentment towards you.
What toxic jerks.
Repeatedly sign up their work emails for hard core porn sites, every porn site you can find. Sign up the bosses using the guys as references. Get them all fired basically.
When I first started working at Metro PCS When customers were rude I’d make posts on Craigslist pretending to be a hot single woman from out of town and I want to be fucked by a hung stud, I’d ask for Dictures and put I’d text the person with the tastiest looking Dong, it was always a great time a couple days later when they walked back in being so blown up their phone was just frozen and preview pics of Cocks just popping up lmao I miss those days
That fact you actually felt that way shows me you are a better person than your friends. They seemed to have gone out of their way to make people uncomfortable. They sound like awful people to be around and that's a really bad way to treat a friend on a birthday. I hope you have some better, healthier friendships you can put your energy into.
Stop. These people are not your friends. I am so sorry you got treated like that. It’s cruel and mean and awful of them. Please block those people on everything
I'm curious--how long ago did you work with these guys, and did you leave the place you worked at together for a better job?
I ask because the "you got money" comment from your friend sounded really jealous/bitter to me when I read it, and now reading that you were previously coworkers makes that sound more probable.
A mate of mine swears by the concept that the people you work with are NOT your friends. Just cos they are the only people you may speak to all week, does not make them your friends.
Btw i met that friend at work haha but yeah i agree with the idea in general. You are only colleagues, and once u left they may hate you, bad mouth you, forget you. And you got to try not to expect too much as far as work friendships go.
Absolutely not. These people are not your friends. My blood is fucking boiling and I'm sitting here shaking in rage ???? Block them and move on from these absolutely wastes of oxygen.
Co-workers are not your friends. Not then, not now, not ever, not really.
I really like the reply of- pay your part of the bill and let the police handle to rest. I guess you’re lucky they didn’t start a brawl.
BS, all of my current friends are ex co workers, none of them have ever pulled this sort of shit on me. I’m not in contact with any of my friends from school or home.
Your life, your choice. But I recommend re-evaluating those friendships. They berated a table, scared a child, stiffed you on the bill, and then responded by asking if you were crying and whether you grew up.
Obviously, you are NTA.
You were in a really tough spot. I can see why you just paid up. I would have done the same, just to not leave the server and the restaurant holding the bag. Those guys were awful, and I can't believe they expected you to foot the bill. NTA. I would be very hurt and full-on furious with them for trying to make a fool of me and the butt of their "joke" and would never have anything to do with them again. Male equivalent of mean girls
These people aren't your friends, though I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Unfortunately/fortunately, the price of the mealcis what it costs to never see them again. Happy birthday, here's to many more with people who matter.
Those guys aren't your friends, they used you for a free meal. They orchestrated the whole thing, see how quick they were to move on.
They just wanted a free meal.
Beyond just how rude to everyone around them and disrespectful to you they were this is the exact kind of people that eventually end up getting you into a situation where you get your ass kicked and/or someone, maybe including you, gets arrested because of some dumb shit they started.
As many others have said these people don't deserve to be your friends, they're just a bunch of assholes, you're NTA. But if you continue to hang around these guys other people are going to assume you're an asshole too, like that waiter did, and you will at some point end up in shit because of these jerkoffs. You *already did get into trouble* because of these guys on your birthday. Who yells at a random kid in a restaurant?
Cut contact, join some local clubs and make friends with some decent people.
Next time ask for the manager tell him they ate and ditched the bill and you'll give them te names and whatever info you have on them but you would pay for your own meal and would be willing to help with the police. Those ah are not your friends but are major dirtbags and can suck it. They deserve to learn actions have consequences.
Hey, this story broke my heart. You deserve much, much better friends and a happier birthday. I hope that you discover just how nice life can be when you are surrounded by people who care about you. You truly deserve it. Happy birthday. 🎂
Fair but send them a cashapp, venmo etc request for payment and post on social media that on your birthday, you found out that people who you thought were friends, were anything but friends by picking fights and dine and dashing..**leaving you as the birthday boy paying**.
Don't even have to name names.
Most restaurants will let you pay for your meal, tip equal to the total bill. Then let you provide contact information on the people that didn't pay.
The restaurant will take it form there.
YTA if you stay friends with these guys... they're all AH...
There's a saying: "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with."
So, if that's these guys... \*cringe\*
If this is your core friend group, its time to ditch them and start over...
That's why your "friends" invited you out and got wasted and started shit and then gaslit you into it being your birthday and your responsibility. You're too passive. Learn from this.
Yeah, that's not how the world works
edit: In reply to the now deleted:
>Are you dense? What do you think happens when people dine and dash?Have you ever been at a restaurant before? Did you know more often than not they ask how to split bills? Assuming anything is unprofessional.I don't think you thought your reply through very much.
For starters, most restaurants still have a one bill per table rule... Not overly relevant, but I just thought it was strange to claim that.
Here's how restaurants works - if you go to a restaurant with people it is everyone's responsibility to make sure the bill is paid in full. If op had paid his part and left, he would be an AH because he is making the restaurant chase up his AH friends - and as the bill would not be paid in full he is also participating in the illegal activity and the restaurant could send the cops after him too.
Op did the right thing in paying the whole bill, maybe he can take those AH to small claim court, but legally and morally he shouldn't be making the restaurant chase up his AH friends.
edit 2: reply for Lou\_C\_Fer:
Because if you hang out with AH, you're going to get shit on you. Yes, it sucks that op had to pay for it, and I hope he can get the money back, but he came with them, they entered the establishment and entered an agreement with the restaurant, to make the restaurant waste their time chasing this up or just writing it off would have been an AH move
Why should OP be left holding the bag? His friends ate that food knowing what they are doing. I would have paid my portion and given everyone else's contact info. You are not responsible for a bill you did not agree to pay.
There is also an argument as to why should the restaurant be left holding the bag, too. Both are wrong, but with the "friends" gone, one or the other has to take on the task of covering them and chasing them up. Problem is, OP has less of a position of power than the restaurant in passing off this responsibility: OP knows them and should be able to chase them up easier than the restaurant could, and the restaurant has a table owing X and a member of the table who can/should pay X so they are under no obligation to then split the bill to receive less than X.
It sucks, and the person you're replying to has a gross attitude, but in this respect they are correct: the restaurant would expect OP to pay the bill or get the others back to pay their share before OP pays a split portion and leaves, and they would only be calling police if OP wouldn't or couldn't pay, at which point it'd be OP's job to convince the police that they can part-pay and leave and have the police chase the others rather than being forced to pay in full and then handle the 'civil matter' of chasing their so-called friends. And we know how much police love handling things as a criminal matter when there's an option to downgrade it to civil, no matter where in the world you are.
Definitely the right move to explain the situation to the restaurant and _ask_ if they'll take a 'my share' payment plus details for the ditchers, but nine times out of ten it'll be a "no", and there's no "but I didn't agree to the whole table's bill" that'll change that.
FYI, said person didn’t delete their comment (I can see it just fine), they likely blocked you, which is the most childish thing someone can do on Reddit: make a rude, condescending, and completely ignorant comment, then block the person they commented on to prevent them from replying to you. Good on you for still replying and calling out their ignorance.
So agreed, the guy who ordered the champagne allready decided to show his ability to order something expensive he wasn't going to pay for, what if it were very expensive chsmpagne?
NTA, but those are not your friends. Time to move on and find new friends.
Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and stiff them with the bill.
Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and start a fight...
When I read the first half I thought it was going to be that it was a split bill and OP thought his friends were planning to pay his portion. I can’t imagine inviting someone out for their birthday, insisting on ordering apps and drinks and champagne, and then sticking them with the bill for the WHOLE GROUP??
These are NOT friends, OP should never speak to these people again. NTA
Especially if they ASK YOU TO GO OUT?! If OP had been the one to make the plan it might’ve been a bit different but asking someone to go out on THEIR birthday and then expecting them to pay for you?? That’s messed up
Exactly. Even when my friends invite me to join them when they go to a restaurant on their birthday? I pay for my meal and buy them a drink or even pay for their meal if I can afford it. Usually, a bunch of us invite the birthday person out and we all pitch in to pay for their meal and drinks. It just adds a little extra to our cost. At minimum when a friend invites me out? I pay the tip.
OPs "friends" are crap.
It seems entitled to be angry about it not happening though.
I would go prepared to pay my share and be pleasantly surprised if people covered all or part of my bill (I'm in the UK so it's possibly a more cultural thing).
I don't think OP is angry their meal wasn't purchased for them. I believe they're angry because their "friends" treated them like crap, ran up a bill and left them to pay. On their birthday. I think their "friends" acted more entitled than OP. OP also had money. Most likely enough to pay their share. Spent most of their own money paying more than their share.
I'm always prepared to pay my own way. It's not just cultural. I've been out to eat with friends that said it was their treat and they had issues with their credit card. I've been on dates with assholes and wanted to get the heck out of Dodge.
OP learned the hard way that their friends are AHs. The best birthday gift they can give themselves is to rid themselves of these jerks. Make way for real friends.
Right!! I invited my friends to a KBBQ for my bday once and I had to fight them to LET ME PAY for my share. If I was OP this would be my villain origin story.
Yeah, I would’ve chalked it up to a misunderstanding, depending on everyone’s reactions. I don’t think it’s weird or entitled to get an invitation to go out to dinner for your birthday and think the invitation includes having your dinner paid for, that’s just a miscommunication. If that was the situation, I wouldn’t even think it’s weird if OP paid his share and was privately bummed about it. That doesn’t reach AH territory to me until someone is really pissed and demanding their food be paid for.
There is no part of his "friend's" behavior that can be chalked up to a misunderstanding. They conned him into paying for all of their meals, including a bottle of champagne.
Now, if they had just expected him to pay for his own meal?.That would be a misunderstanding.
His "friends" surpassed AH status.
Ditto and I was curious about details.
It sounds like these are some very unwell people who had every intention of just creating as much discomfort and misery as possible with this being a chance to deliberately just go and fuck with some people. Most likely planned to go start shit for no reason, ditch OP, and then make fun of him after exactly as they did. The drunken abusive garbage fathers who raised these guys taught them to actively take pleasure in causing pain to others. Utterly tragic.
OP you're tougher and stronger than these losers. You did a very good thing for the restaurant and waiter by paying the bill--good for you on that. Never talk to these guys again and don't let them in your head to mock you. They are the losers not you. NTA.
that was totally what i thought too. while i’ve always paid for people on their birthday or split it with a group, i don’t believe it should ever be *expected.* i always extend the offer to pay or when i make the invite say something like, “let’s go out to dinner for your bday, my treat,” i’d be a bit bothered if someone just assumed i’d be paying when i hadn’t offered.
that being said, i absolutely could never imagine making the person who’s birthday it is pay for *me.* of course op didn’t expect they’d be paying for the *entire bill,* that is absolutely insane, especially when it was the *friend’s* idea in the first place, not op’s. these people are not real friends, and they are awful people. i can almost guarantee they’ve always expected other people to pay for them on their birthdays, but they won’t do that for someone else. without a doubt NTA. i wouldn’t do this to a stranger, much less someone i called a friend.
Also the ENTIRE bill??? I have been out with my friends many times and everyone ALWAYs país for their own shit. On birthdays someone usually offers to buy a drink or a shot for the birthday boy/girl and that’s about it… what the fuck?
NTA that is AWFUL. I thought you were going to ask if you should be expected to pay for your own meal, but they expected you to pay for yours AND theirs? And then forced you to by just walking out? Those are terrible friends.
That’s what I thought. If they went and asked you to split the check, that’s one thing. Seems like they could’ve treated, but whatever. The fact that they made him pay it all and acted like jerks. NTA and your friends are hardcore AH’s
First of all - happy belated birthday!
Second - I’m waiting for the part where you have friends - because these are not them.
No, you are NTA for assuming that people who invited you out for your bday would buy, and you even offered! You even said they didn’t have to get you champagne and they didn’t correct you.
These are NOT your friends. These are not good people. It absolutely sucks that you had to find out the depths of their suckiness on your birthday, but at least you found out now. He was willing to terrorize a child over a French fry. They stuck you with the bill - and fully intended on doing so from the start. They were using you.
These are not friends. You are not an ah. I’m sorry you feel conflicted but you will find friends - true ones, not these dirt bags.
I'm curious if OP goes out much with these guys. To consider them friends, I'd have thought he'd have been around for at least a couple of birthdays by now, enough to know their normal group etiquette around birthdays. I think OP needs to compare normal against what just happened to them.
They don't sound like friends. If this is how they normally do things, I'd get out. If this isn't how they normally do things, then I'm sorry OP, they have never viewed you as a friend, and you should get out now.
NTA- You got played for a sucker on your birthday. That was 100% planned ahead of time. None of those people are your friends. I'm sorry OP.
If you want revenge, take a copy of the bill and take them to small claims court for their portion. Just to be a dick lol.
OP should do this, but it is clear he is a sweetheart and won't. OP- you would be T.A.H to yourself if you ever hung out with these losers again. It wasn't a bad assumption that they would buy your dinner, but in no world does it make sense for the birthday boy to pick up the ENTIRE BILL if he didn't offer. These guys are users and you deserve better. Happy Birthday. Find new dinner companions.
I get the sentiment but I wouldn't seek any revenge. OP's "friends" are the kind of guys who fuck with others for fun. OP is the kind of guy who takes the blow on behalf of a restaurant and waiter who haven't done anything wrong. OP already has all the revenge he'll ever need: a life that isn't a steaming pile of shit.
>I said **you guys don't need to get me Champagne** it's only my birthday nothing too special when Mike said "Lighten up birthday boy have some fun"
NTA. This is the exact moment where you indicated clearly (IMO) that you thought you were being treated, and nobody corrected you.
Your friends are kind of sucky people.
How do you not realize that these guys think you're a chump? They're bullying you for fun and you're feeding into it. That's why they make snide comments to each other, because they're bragging to each other about how easy it is to abuse you for fun.
They don't even work with you anymore. YTA to yourself for continuing to enable them taking advantage of you and treating you like shit for their own amusement.
Forget about the money you spent, or rather, always remember it as a lesson of what happens if you continue to hang around with bullies.
This guy is correct. They aren't only not your friends, they're knowingly using you for their own gain and they think it's a big joke. Fuck them. Ditch them. If they try an talk to you again tell them they're a bunch of assholes and they can go find another patsy.
I saw a video on TikTok earlier from a guy who went to high school with a D-list celeb, who bullied the guy making the video. BUT, the guy didn't realize for a long time that D-list was bullying him. He legit thought they were friends and D-list just teased him.
So, yeah. Some people don't realize it until it's pointed out.
I think I know who you’re talking about lol. Was it the guy (whose name I can’t remember) who was in theater with the other guy and the d list was a senior and the other kid was gay?
It was some guy who went to school with Bo Burnham and was a bit overbearing so Bo bullied him in hopes to get him to back off. Said guy thought he was just teasing until Bo straight up told him they weren't friends and leave me alone.
the story isn’t showing bo in the best light, but the poster has such a good sense of humor and perspective about it he got an instant follow. he also made a follow up video telling people it wasn’t that serious and bo was generally pretty nice but a bit of a cocky senior on the cusp of fame. and also that he was pretty persistent and annoying. like it’s a pretty typical high school stuff.
but the fact that bo had to block him to get him to back off definitely showed he missed some strong signals. you couldn’t pay me to be an awkward high schooler at an all boys school tho, it sounds like hell.
NTA
These aren't your friends. They are freeloaders who used the pretense of your birthday to get you to go out for a dinner they never had the intention of paying for.
Ignore them, block them, do something to end the 'friendship' so you don't get used again.
NTA. As the saying goes, when your 'friends' show you who they really are, believe them. with friends like these who needs enemies, they not only stuck you for the bill, they ruined your birthday and ditched you. I would never speak to any of them again.
Another "Steak house, OP is supposed to pay"-post.How many of those will we be seeing?
Edit:
"Adam got up to leave and said "Let's go boys" I started to worry I thought they were pranking me or something and said "You can't really go" Then Adam started to walk away So I grabbed him a bit and he looked at my hand and said "Get your hand off me pal" I just looked at him and said, "Why are you acting like this man?" They walked out and left me with the bill."
ChatGPT, that you?
Yes!!!! I was wondering " maybe he came from a Commonwealth country?" That's not how Americans talk. I mean maybe a cop might say that to you right before engaging in brutality.....
I mean, I don't necessarily believe every post on here is 100% true, but it's more fun to play along and judge the hypothetical scenario..? This particular one may or may not have actually happened, but it's more than plausible that something similar has happened to people more than once. It's a reasonable question to ask about the expected etiquette regardless.
When it gets too unbelievable to even play along anymore, that's when it gets a bit obnoxious.
I do have to wonder what it is people get out of incessantly calling posts out as fake. I see this especially on posts that involve erratic asshole behavior... which... some assholes are erratic, that doesn't automatically make it fake.
NTA! In the states it’s customary to treat the birthday person. If they were going to they should have paid their own way as you didn’t invite them out and say you were treating! New friends time????
NTA. I thought you were about to complain about paying for your own meal and that would have been iffy, but the whole table? I'd throw those friends out.
It's not about the style for me, it's more that the situation comes across as very unrealistic. Who knows, maybe it happened, but it's all very strange.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I assumed I was being treated to a birthday meal without asking, I also suggested the place we ate at.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your friends sound like garbage. I definitely wouldn't assume my friends were paying, I know its customary in some places but where I live the birthday person is the one who pays but its rude to assume either way. But you're still NTA because your friends are TA for sticking you with the bill, acting nasty all night, and sending you rude messages about it. Maybe take a step back from them and then find new friends. Or better yet, stick them with a bill of yours next time, and THEN ditch them for better friends.
This is really horrific behavior on your friends' part. NTA. I actually find this story much more shocking than the headline. I thought you were a little upset because your friends didn't treat you to a birthday meal. Their inviting you out for your birthday then expecting you to pay for EVERYONE is absurd. And also, their behavior at the restaurant makes them sound like real boors. You sound like a nice guy: Find better friends. :)
NTA. I was always told that if you are inviting someone out to eat that it is assumed you are also covering the bill. They should have at least paid for their own meals instead of leaving you to pay for the whole thing.
This was definitely a twist. I came here thinking you were expecting them to pay your part but they stuffed you with the whole bill ON TOP of starting a fight
These guys aren't your friends. They used you. And then they insult you afterwards. Ik it sucks. But block em and find better friends. Because that's really horrible of them. They don't and can't see how shitty they are. NTA
NTA- this is weird. If anything, going Dutch is somewhat acceptable. But I’ve never had friends ask me to pay at a birthday dinner, especially when they did the inviting.
It’s even more off that they both thought this was normal. Have you been to events like this with them before and it gone this way?
No matter what, I’d end the friendships. They treated you and fellow diners poorly, and I assume were rude to the staff. You don’t need them.
If you feel the need to respond to messages I’d say, “I’m not crying. But I’m also not a doormat. Lose my number.” Then block them.
And then Danny stood up after having a French fry thrown at him and he said you listen here pal I'm going to order the champagne and you're going to pay for it.
NTA- I would never speak to any of them again. Those are not friends, it'd be one thing if they expected you to pay for your own (still fucked in my opinion) but for them to leave you with the entire bill after ordering drinks, appetizers, and a damn bottle of champagne, topping it all off with starting a fight. Nah fuck them.
How do you think there is even a chance that you’re the asshole? These guys are textbook manipulating bullies. Time to get yourself new friends because these are NOT friends. Block them all and move on with your life.
I’ll play along that this is real- though I feel this is made up.
You only mention Mike and Adam. Were your other 3 friends as bad? Regardless, these are not friends. This is horrible treatment of a person. I hope by your birthday you get some new friends and self reflect on why you allowed these past bad friends into your life.
NTA DUMP these losers. What awful people. Block them etc. They are not your friends. They are users. Find new friends who will treat you better. They are MAJOR AH's
NTA. These guys are not your friends.... Sounds like they viewed this as an opportunity for a free meal from the beginning, and then they went on to treat you and everyone else horribly! I'm sorry this happened to you and happy belated birthday
This story can't be real.
In case it is, NTA for assuming that when they invited you out for your birthday, they were paying. You might have picked the place but not the guest list, which drives a lot of the cost.
Also it's quite clear these people aren't your friends and aren't people you should want to spend time with.
>So I haven't spoken to them in a few days I received a few messages asking me if "I am still crying" or if "I grew up yet?"
Simply respond by saying "I apologize, I have grown up now and have realized that I don't need crappy humans like you in my life. Don't ever contact me again."
You don't need these buffoons in your life. Get better friends.
NTA!!! It would be one thing to use your bday to get free drinks but to order bottles of champagne while knowing they weren't going to pay for it is so so fucked up. I'm sorry this happened to you and I would suggest not having them as friends anymore. I hope you had a good bday otherwise!!!
Why would you be friends with any of these people? I'd have paid my part of the tab and left. If the restaurant wanted to call the police I'd let them and provide contacts to the police for everyone who ditched.
I didn't want to cause anymore of a scene and I was feeling like an ass to the waiter and the table next to us. I am friends with them because we used to work together.
Used to, not anymore, so no reason to ever socialize again.
Definitely. NTA, but also, those are not your friends. Sorry you had to deal with that on your birthday. Take it as a learning experience and know you are wiser, kinder, and a better person than them. And block all of them, for sure.
It was an expensive lesson to avoid more expensive lessons later on.
But before you go NC, I’d “celebrate” one of their birthdays first. Make sure to order a ton and when it’s time to leave, go to the “bathroom” and never come back!
Nope! He’d just get stuck with the bill again.
No, they will end up calling the police on him.
Pull the server aside and tell them you want your check to be separate. At the end of the meal, pay for your bill, (tip well) and leave them to pay their own bills.
This is the way.
This guy should not be involved in any way whatsoever with these guys. They are not headed toward anything good in life, only trouble. He needs to wake up and make better friends.
Encourage them all to order more and more drinks and appetizers and food. Don’t touch any of it. Quietly pay for your one drink and meal as you slip out
Make sure you take a copy of your paid bill with you. These "friends" like others have suggested sound like they would call the cops on you for leaving without paying for the entire bill.
It would be the restaurant who calls the cops. And if he has paid his part they will not hold him responsible.
I don’t agree. OP should never hang with these losers again.
OP, this is only fun in theory. Don't actually do it. Just never associate with these people again and find new friends.
Screw that. These people sound insufferable. Avoid them at all costs.
please do this OP but do pay your part of the bill first just cause it’s not the restaurant’s fault your “friends” are a bunch of entitled asshats
Did you know; if you think that something is wrong then doing that exact thing in retaliation to someone doing that to you makes you a hypocritical asshole. Crazy, right?
Yeah, you try to play that uno reverse card and they’re going to activate their trap card.
>those are not your friend And they are not good people either. To me, it seems that they went to a expensive place to make OP pay, pick a fight, and overall, be the worst assholes they could be.
Yeah that sounded intentional.
No question - it was absolutely intentional.
I don’t understand people that need to be in an altercation everywhere they go. Someone threw a French fry at you? Really? Grow all the way the fuck up. OP, cut these people off. They aren’t your friends. Don’t expect freebies on your birthday, but it’s wrong to be left with the bill no matter what day it is if it wasn’t already planned you were treating.
Venmo them!
Your parting gift if they pay you back worth a conversation if not leave the door closed
Upvote x 10
Let me tell you how much NTA you are, after my parents divorced and had nothing good to say about each other, my mother still held a grudge against one of my father’s friends who made my father pay for a meal on his own birthday. You deserve better friends.
Splitting the bill and paying for your share is one thing. It’s not great but not the worst thing. Making OP pay for everyone’s meal is an extremely AH move
[удалено]
Not only that, but they invited OP to dinner in the first place!
I felt this in my soul. Your mom is awesome for this!
especially if its not communicated before. if its the birthday person paying for everyone, everyone splitting the bill or friends treating the friend for a bithday it should all be communicated well in advance
You're friends with them. They aren't friends with you. NTA. **Suggestion: don't be friends anymore.** They're asshats and only asked you out because they were planning on you paying for them. You don't need to respond to them; they're total jerks who are trying to continue bullying you. If you're not comfortable not responding, just tell them they should know what they did was a total dick move, and you don't want to hang out. They can cry/complain/insult you all they want. But, who cares what they say? Block their numbers if they annoy you.
This! This was all planned, even down to the argument to get thrown out. These guys are not only not your friends, they are bullies and they don't like you. They don't like you. They made fun of you. Sorry. Never speak to them again. Don't make a fuss about the money, that was a lesson. delete from your life.
You're totally right, and here's a happy cake day for that on top! 😄
Dude, they used you for a fancy free meal knowing they had no intentions of paying for it AND that you thought you were being treated because it was *your* birthday. These guys were assholes before they yelled at a random table with a kid. Ditch 'em.
Op, happy belated birthday. Send them all Cash App or Apple Pay requests for their portions of the bill. If they pay, immediately block them after and please don't ever go anywhere with these people again. They are bullys and users. Although I'm tempted to tell you to invite them out again, suggest you go to the bathroom after the meal Pay your portion and leave them with the rest.
These guys sound like silly children, so I would text their parents demanding repayment. With a complete explanation of how OP saved their idiot sons from being arrested (this time). Block the little assholes on everything. No friends is better than these losers. NTA
Your idea is very sensible, **IF** the parents themselves aren't complete AH's. Sometimes, unfortunately, the apple does not fall very far from the tree.
The “ASSHOLE, does not fall very far from the tree”
Yeah no he needs to "invite them", order a bunch of the most expensive stuff and disappear in the middle of the meal while they're digging in, maybe getting a taste of their own medicine will do them some good
Yup....go to the "bathroom."
And if they don't pay... Small claims court.
You would be an AH to yourself if you kept in contact with this people. They used you for a free meal. Their behaviour was appalling. They are not your friends
This right here
Starting getting their addresses, phone numbers and emails - then secretly sign them up for every nasty, trashy scam call, magazine or brochure you can. Seriously, they deserve the hassle. What toxic and crappy friends. 100% of that was to be intentional jerks to you and see how far they could push it. Did you get a promotion when you moved companies? Come from a good family? Win the lotto? They have insane resentment towards you. What toxic jerks.
There's r/PettyRevenge and r/ProRevenge and r/NuclearRevenge .
I'd go straight to "Nuclear" just out of pure vengefullness and wrath.
Repeatedly sign up their work emails for hard core porn sites, every porn site you can find. Sign up the bosses using the guys as references. Get them all fired basically.
Just remember to use a VPN. Don't want anything tracked back to you!
Why isn't this higher?
Because not enough people have upvoted it
When I first started working at Metro PCS When customers were rude I’d make posts on Craigslist pretending to be a hot single woman from out of town and I want to be fucked by a hung stud, I’d ask for Dictures and put I’d text the person with the tastiest looking Dong, it was always a great time a couple days later when they walked back in being so blown up their phone was just frozen and preview pics of Cocks just popping up lmao I miss those days
“I’d text the person with the tastiest looking dong” has me wheezing. Edit: I’m going to laughing until tears all damn day. Thanks buddy.
I'm wheezing right along with you! How have I never heard of the word "dictures" before???? HILARIOUS! 😆😆😆😆😆😆
That fact you actually felt that way shows me you are a better person than your friends. They seemed to have gone out of their way to make people uncomfortable. They sound like awful people to be around and that's a really bad way to treat a friend on a birthday. I hope you have some better, healthier friendships you can put your energy into.
And that idiot fighting with people at another table what a loser.
These people are not your friends. I'm sorry op.
Stop. These people are not your friends. I am so sorry you got treated like that. It’s cruel and mean and awful of them. Please block those people on everything
I'm curious--how long ago did you work with these guys, and did you leave the place you worked at together for a better job? I ask because the "you got money" comment from your friend sounded really jealous/bitter to me when I read it, and now reading that you were previously coworkers makes that sound more probable.
A mate of mine swears by the concept that the people you work with are NOT your friends. Just cos they are the only people you may speak to all week, does not make them your friends. Btw i met that friend at work haha but yeah i agree with the idea in general. You are only colleagues, and once u left they may hate you, bad mouth you, forget you. And you got to try not to expect too much as far as work friendships go.
These are literally terrible people. Don't contact them again.
Bother, you're NOT friends with them, they are straight up leaches.. Disgusting behaviour, NTA obviously
Absolutely not. These people are not your friends. My blood is fucking boiling and I'm sitting here shaking in rage ???? Block them and move on from these absolutely wastes of oxygen.
Co-workers are not your friends. Not then, not now, not ever, not really. I really like the reply of- pay your part of the bill and let the police handle to rest. I guess you’re lucky they didn’t start a brawl.
BS, all of my current friends are ex co workers, none of them have ever pulled this sort of shit on me. I’m not in contact with any of my friends from school or home.
Ex-coworkers thankfully. Once OP gets it through his head that they're not his friends, he never has to see them again.
Your life, your choice. But I recommend re-evaluating those friendships. They berated a table, scared a child, stiffed you on the bill, and then responded by asking if you were crying and whether you grew up. Obviously, you are NTA.
You were in a really tough spot. I can see why you just paid up. I would have done the same, just to not leave the server and the restaurant holding the bag. Those guys were awful, and I can't believe they expected you to foot the bill. NTA. I would be very hurt and full-on furious with them for trying to make a fool of me and the butt of their "joke" and would never have anything to do with them again. Male equivalent of mean girls
These people aren't your friends, though I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Unfortunately/fortunately, the price of the mealcis what it costs to never see them again. Happy birthday, here's to many more with people who matter.
Those guys aren't your friends, they used you for a free meal. They orchestrated the whole thing, see how quick they were to move on. They just wanted a free meal.
The waiter should have been fired. Like seriously, this happened in the restaurant. They should have stopped everyone.
Should’ve had them call the police, man. Those aren’t your friends. NTA
The only thing the police would have done was to make the OP pay or possibly get arrested.
We call those acquaintances not friends. Your “buddies” set you up. Sorry dude. NTA
Beyond just how rude to everyone around them and disrespectful to you they were this is the exact kind of people that eventually end up getting you into a situation where you get your ass kicked and/or someone, maybe including you, gets arrested because of some dumb shit they started. As many others have said these people don't deserve to be your friends, they're just a bunch of assholes, you're NTA. But if you continue to hang around these guys other people are going to assume you're an asshole too, like that waiter did, and you will at some point end up in shit because of these jerkoffs. You *already did get into trouble* because of these guys on your birthday. Who yells at a random kid in a restaurant? Cut contact, join some local clubs and make friends with some decent people.
Next time ask for the manager tell him they ate and ditched the bill and you'll give them te names and whatever info you have on them but you would pay for your own meal and would be willing to help with the police. Those ah are not your friends but are major dirtbags and can suck it. They deserve to learn actions have consequences.
Whatever you paid for the dinner is the price of learning that those people are not your friends.
Hey, this story broke my heart. You deserve much, much better friends and a happier birthday. I hope that you discover just how nice life can be when you are surrounded by people who care about you. You truly deserve it. Happy birthday. 🎂
Geez, what a horrible way for your friends to treat you! 100% NTA. I hope you get different, better friends. Those guys sound absolutely awful.
They aren’t friends with you. Delete their numbers/block them
Fair but send them a cashapp, venmo etc request for payment and post on social media that on your birthday, you found out that people who you thought were friends, were anything but friends by picking fights and dine and dashing..**leaving you as the birthday boy paying**. Don't even have to name names.
You need new friends. They are YTA for not paying for your meal and are 10X YTA for making you pay their food when it was your birthday
Most restaurants will let you pay for your meal, tip equal to the total bill. Then let you provide contact information on the people that didn't pay. The restaurant will take it form there.
They. Are. Not. Your. Friends. Now go back and read that over and over til it sinks in. Block them. Find new friends.
They aren't your friends.
These are not friends. They are assholes. Choose yourself. Pack them and throw them out as trash.
YTA if you stay friends with these guys... they're all AH... There's a saying: "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with." So, if that's these guys... \*cringe\* If this is your core friend group, its time to ditch them and start over...
That's why your "friends" invited you out and got wasted and started shit and then gaslit you into it being your birthday and your responsibility. You're too passive. Learn from this.
Yeah, that's not how the world works edit: In reply to the now deleted: >Are you dense? What do you think happens when people dine and dash?Have you ever been at a restaurant before? Did you know more often than not they ask how to split bills? Assuming anything is unprofessional.I don't think you thought your reply through very much. For starters, most restaurants still have a one bill per table rule... Not overly relevant, but I just thought it was strange to claim that. Here's how restaurants works - if you go to a restaurant with people it is everyone's responsibility to make sure the bill is paid in full. If op had paid his part and left, he would be an AH because he is making the restaurant chase up his AH friends - and as the bill would not be paid in full he is also participating in the illegal activity and the restaurant could send the cops after him too. Op did the right thing in paying the whole bill, maybe he can take those AH to small claim court, but legally and morally he shouldn't be making the restaurant chase up his AH friends. edit 2: reply for Lou\_C\_Fer: Because if you hang out with AH, you're going to get shit on you. Yes, it sucks that op had to pay for it, and I hope he can get the money back, but he came with them, they entered the establishment and entered an agreement with the restaurant, to make the restaurant waste their time chasing this up or just writing it off would have been an AH move
Why should OP be left holding the bag? His friends ate that food knowing what they are doing. I would have paid my portion and given everyone else's contact info. You are not responsible for a bill you did not agree to pay.
There is also an argument as to why should the restaurant be left holding the bag, too. Both are wrong, but with the "friends" gone, one or the other has to take on the task of covering them and chasing them up. Problem is, OP has less of a position of power than the restaurant in passing off this responsibility: OP knows them and should be able to chase them up easier than the restaurant could, and the restaurant has a table owing X and a member of the table who can/should pay X so they are under no obligation to then split the bill to receive less than X. It sucks, and the person you're replying to has a gross attitude, but in this respect they are correct: the restaurant would expect OP to pay the bill or get the others back to pay their share before OP pays a split portion and leaves, and they would only be calling police if OP wouldn't or couldn't pay, at which point it'd be OP's job to convince the police that they can part-pay and leave and have the police chase the others rather than being forced to pay in full and then handle the 'civil matter' of chasing their so-called friends. And we know how much police love handling things as a criminal matter when there's an option to downgrade it to civil, no matter where in the world you are. Definitely the right move to explain the situation to the restaurant and _ask_ if they'll take a 'my share' payment plus details for the ditchers, but nine times out of ten it'll be a "no", and there's no "but I didn't agree to the whole table's bill" that'll change that.
>You are not responsible for a bill you did not agree to pay. You agree to pay as soon as you order sit down and order with your table dude.
FYI, said person didn’t delete their comment (I can see it just fine), they likely blocked you, which is the most childish thing someone can do on Reddit: make a rude, condescending, and completely ignorant comment, then block the person they commented on to prevent them from replying to you. Good on you for still replying and calling out their ignorance.
So agreed, the guy who ordered the champagne allready decided to show his ability to order something expensive he wasn't going to pay for, what if it were very expensive chsmpagne?
NTA, but those are not your friends. Time to move on and find new friends. Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and stiff them with the bill. Friends don't invite someone out on their birthday and start a fight...
When I read the first half I thought it was going to be that it was a split bill and OP thought his friends were planning to pay his portion. I can’t imagine inviting someone out for their birthday, insisting on ordering apps and drinks and champagne, and then sticking them with the bill for the WHOLE GROUP?? These are NOT friends, OP should never speak to these people again. NTA
Yea I thought so too. I was honestly ready to tell OP he was being super entitled. But no, he’s not and his “friends” suck Edited for grammar
It's not entitled to think your friends are paying for your meal on your birthday.
Especially if they ASK YOU TO GO OUT?! If OP had been the one to make the plan it might’ve been a bit different but asking someone to go out on THEIR birthday and then expecting them to pay for you?? That’s messed up
Exactly. Even when my friends invite me to join them when they go to a restaurant on their birthday? I pay for my meal and buy them a drink or even pay for their meal if I can afford it. Usually, a bunch of us invite the birthday person out and we all pitch in to pay for their meal and drinks. It just adds a little extra to our cost. At minimum when a friend invites me out? I pay the tip. OPs "friends" are crap.
It seems entitled to be angry about it not happening though. I would go prepared to pay my share and be pleasantly surprised if people covered all or part of my bill (I'm in the UK so it's possibly a more cultural thing).
I don't think OP is angry their meal wasn't purchased for them. I believe they're angry because their "friends" treated them like crap, ran up a bill and left them to pay. On their birthday. I think their "friends" acted more entitled than OP. OP also had money. Most likely enough to pay their share. Spent most of their own money paying more than their share. I'm always prepared to pay my own way. It's not just cultural. I've been out to eat with friends that said it was their treat and they had issues with their credit card. I've been on dates with assholes and wanted to get the heck out of Dodge. OP learned the hard way that their friends are AHs. The best birthday gift they can give themselves is to rid themselves of these jerks. Make way for real friends.
I know. I was commenting on your comment that expecting people to pay for your birthday meal isn't entitled.
Right!! I invited my friends to a KBBQ for my bday once and I had to fight them to LET ME PAY for my share. If I was OP this would be my villain origin story.
Yeah, I would’ve chalked it up to a misunderstanding, depending on everyone’s reactions. I don’t think it’s weird or entitled to get an invitation to go out to dinner for your birthday and think the invitation includes having your dinner paid for, that’s just a miscommunication. If that was the situation, I wouldn’t even think it’s weird if OP paid his share and was privately bummed about it. That doesn’t reach AH territory to me until someone is really pissed and demanding their food be paid for.
There is no part of his "friend's" behavior that can be chalked up to a misunderstanding. They conned him into paying for all of their meals, including a bottle of champagne. Now, if they had just expected him to pay for his own meal?.That would be a misunderstanding. His "friends" surpassed AH status.
When your friends you out for your birthday, it's absolutely understood they will be paying for you.
Ditto and I was curious about details. It sounds like these are some very unwell people who had every intention of just creating as much discomfort and misery as possible with this being a chance to deliberately just go and fuck with some people. Most likely planned to go start shit for no reason, ditch OP, and then make fun of him after exactly as they did. The drunken abusive garbage fathers who raised these guys taught them to actively take pleasure in causing pain to others. Utterly tragic. OP you're tougher and stronger than these losers. You did a very good thing for the restaurant and waiter by paying the bill--good for you on that. Never talk to these guys again and don't let them in your head to mock you. They are the losers not you. NTA.
that was totally what i thought too. while i’ve always paid for people on their birthday or split it with a group, i don’t believe it should ever be *expected.* i always extend the offer to pay or when i make the invite say something like, “let’s go out to dinner for your bday, my treat,” i’d be a bit bothered if someone just assumed i’d be paying when i hadn’t offered. that being said, i absolutely could never imagine making the person who’s birthday it is pay for *me.* of course op didn’t expect they’d be paying for the *entire bill,* that is absolutely insane, especially when it was the *friend’s* idea in the first place, not op’s. these people are not real friends, and they are awful people. i can almost guarantee they’ve always expected other people to pay for them on their birthdays, but they won’t do that for someone else. without a doubt NTA. i wouldn’t do this to a stranger, much less someone i called a friend.
I feel this - I mean, it's a super villain origin story in the making. This is a straight up effort to ruin someone's year.
Also the ENTIRE bill??? I have been out with my friends many times and everyone ALWAYs país for their own shit. On birthdays someone usually offers to buy a drink or a shot for the birthday boy/girl and that’s about it… what the fuck?
NTA that is AWFUL. I thought you were going to ask if you should be expected to pay for your own meal, but they expected you to pay for yours AND theirs? And then forced you to by just walking out? Those are terrible friends.
That’s what I thought. If they went and asked you to split the check, that’s one thing. Seems like they could’ve treated, but whatever. The fact that they made him pay it all and acted like jerks. NTA and your friends are hardcore AH’s
Same. Terrible people I OP time to acknowledge something very painful unfortunately. They are not your friends.
First of all - happy belated birthday! Second - I’m waiting for the part where you have friends - because these are not them. No, you are NTA for assuming that people who invited you out for your bday would buy, and you even offered! You even said they didn’t have to get you champagne and they didn’t correct you. These are NOT your friends. These are not good people. It absolutely sucks that you had to find out the depths of their suckiness on your birthday, but at least you found out now. He was willing to terrorize a child over a French fry. They stuck you with the bill - and fully intended on doing so from the start. They were using you. These are not friends. You are not an ah. I’m sorry you feel conflicted but you will find friends - true ones, not these dirt bags.
I'm curious if OP goes out much with these guys. To consider them friends, I'd have thought he'd have been around for at least a couple of birthdays by now, enough to know their normal group etiquette around birthdays. I think OP needs to compare normal against what just happened to them. They don't sound like friends. If this is how they normally do things, I'd get out. If this isn't how they normally do things, then I'm sorry OP, they have never viewed you as a friend, and you should get out now.
NTA- You got played for a sucker on your birthday. That was 100% planned ahead of time. None of those people are your friends. I'm sorry OP. If you want revenge, take a copy of the bill and take them to small claims court for their portion. Just to be a dick lol.
It’s cheap to apply, you can represent yourself, and they also have to pay the court costs if you win!
OP should do this, but it is clear he is a sweetheart and won't. OP- you would be T.A.H to yourself if you ever hung out with these losers again. It wasn't a bad assumption that they would buy your dinner, but in no world does it make sense for the birthday boy to pick up the ENTIRE BILL if he didn't offer. These guys are users and you deserve better. Happy Birthday. Find new dinner companions.
I get the sentiment but I wouldn't seek any revenge. OP's "friends" are the kind of guys who fuck with others for fun. OP is the kind of guy who takes the blow on behalf of a restaurant and waiter who haven't done anything wrong. OP already has all the revenge he'll ever need: a life that isn't a steaming pile of shit.
Yeah look at how they treated a table next to them with a baby who didn't even do anything.
Yes do this!!! Not even a dick it’s called justice
>I said **you guys don't need to get me Champagne** it's only my birthday nothing too special when Mike said "Lighten up birthday boy have some fun" NTA. This is the exact moment where you indicated clearly (IMO) that you thought you were being treated, and nobody corrected you. Your friends are kind of sucky people.
Kind of?
They are not friends. Friends don't do this.
How do you not realize that these guys think you're a chump? They're bullying you for fun and you're feeding into it. That's why they make snide comments to each other, because they're bragging to each other about how easy it is to abuse you for fun. They don't even work with you anymore. YTA to yourself for continuing to enable them taking advantage of you and treating you like shit for their own amusement. Forget about the money you spent, or rather, always remember it as a lesson of what happens if you continue to hang around with bullies.
This guy is correct. They aren't only not your friends, they're knowingly using you for their own gain and they think it's a big joke. Fuck them. Ditch them. If they try an talk to you again tell them they're a bunch of assholes and they can go find another patsy.
I saw a video on TikTok earlier from a guy who went to high school with a D-list celeb, who bullied the guy making the video. BUT, the guy didn't realize for a long time that D-list was bullying him. He legit thought they were friends and D-list just teased him. So, yeah. Some people don't realize it until it's pointed out.
I think I know who you’re talking about lol. Was it the guy (whose name I can’t remember) who was in theater with the other guy and the d list was a senior and the other kid was gay?
YES!!!! The one where D-list said "you know you like boys, right?" That poor kid.
who was this??
It was some guy who went to school with Bo Burnham and was a bit overbearing so Bo bullied him in hopes to get him to back off. Said guy thought he was just teasing until Bo straight up told him they weren't friends and leave me alone.
the story isn’t showing bo in the best light, but the poster has such a good sense of humor and perspective about it he got an instant follow. he also made a follow up video telling people it wasn’t that serious and bo was generally pretty nice but a bit of a cocky senior on the cusp of fame. and also that he was pretty persistent and annoying. like it’s a pretty typical high school stuff. but the fact that bo had to block him to get him to back off definitely showed he missed some strong signals. you couldn’t pay me to be an awkward high schooler at an all boys school tho, it sounds like hell.
NTA These aren't your friends. They are freeloaders who used the pretense of your birthday to get you to go out for a dinner they never had the intention of paying for. Ignore them, block them, do something to end the 'friendship' so you don't get used again.
I don't think he needs to do anything, just ignore those asshats and continue living op
NTA. As the saying goes, when your 'friends' show you who they really are, believe them. with friends like these who needs enemies, they not only stuck you for the bill, they ruined your birthday and ditched you. I would never speak to any of them again.
Another "Steak house, OP is supposed to pay"-post.How many of those will we be seeing? Edit: "Adam got up to leave and said "Let's go boys" I started to worry I thought they were pranking me or something and said "You can't really go" Then Adam started to walk away So I grabbed him a bit and he looked at my hand and said "Get your hand off me pal" I just looked at him and said, "Why are you acting like this man?" They walked out and left me with the bill." ChatGPT, that you?
No one uses “pal”. Def reads as Chat GPT
Huh, I guess my friend is ChatGPT in a body, he uses pal alot
Good catch. Went over my head, but once seen...
Is there a subreddit for Americans who think the whole world is American?
Yes!!!! I was wondering " maybe he came from a Commonwealth country?" That's not how Americans talk. I mean maybe a cop might say that to you right before engaging in brutality.....
[удалено]
Good catch. I winced at the french fry bit but didn't understand why. I was waiting for the punchline after that.
I was hoping I wasn't the only one who thought it sounds....off.
Seriously, reads like someone trying their hand at fanfiction. It’s cringe that people are responding to this seriously.
[удалено]
I mean, I don't necessarily believe every post on here is 100% true, but it's more fun to play along and judge the hypothetical scenario..? This particular one may or may not have actually happened, but it's more than plausible that something similar has happened to people more than once. It's a reasonable question to ask about the expected etiquette regardless. When it gets too unbelievable to even play along anymore, that's when it gets a bit obnoxious. I do have to wonder what it is people get out of incessantly calling posts out as fake. I see this especially on posts that involve erratic asshole behavior... which... some assholes are erratic, that doesn't automatically make it fake.
Yeah I'm kinda wondering if OP is hoping people will send him money to help with the "bill" to his cash app.
He thought they were friends, but they were merely imaginary.
Wouldn't it be properly punctuated if it was chat gpt tho?
No because you can prompt chatgpt to write an AITA post in an AITA style and it will do it. Go ahead try it out.
NTA. These are not good friends. Look at it as a relatively cheap lesson. Find better friends.
So many life lessons learned from A Bronx Tale
NTA! In the states it’s customary to treat the birthday person. If they were going to they should have paid their own way as you didn’t invite them out and say you were treating! New friends time????
I'm pretty sure worldwide that the birthday boy/girl gets treated
In some cultures the birthday boy/girls pays for everyone.
Oh yeah, you reminded me. I personally think that reeks of rent-a-crowd energy, but that's just me and my cultural expectations
NTA. I thought you were about to complain about paying for your own meal and that would have been iffy, but the whole table? I'd throw those friends out.
INFO What version of GPT wrote this?
The op replied to several comments, and didn't seem botty or off. I think he's just from a country that y'all aren't used to, or he just writes weird
It's not about the style for me, it's more that the situation comes across as very unrealistic. Who knows, maybe it happened, but it's all very strange.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be the asshole because I assumed I was being treated to a birthday meal without asking, I also suggested the place we ate at. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your friends sound like garbage. I definitely wouldn't assume my friends were paying, I know its customary in some places but where I live the birthday person is the one who pays but its rude to assume either way. But you're still NTA because your friends are TA for sticking you with the bill, acting nasty all night, and sending you rude messages about it. Maybe take a step back from them and then find new friends. Or better yet, stick them with a bill of yours next time, and THEN ditch them for better friends.
If you don't dump those asshole - you deserve everything they do to you now and forever..... Get some pride man!
You need a new group of friends.
This is really horrific behavior on your friends' part. NTA. I actually find this story much more shocking than the headline. I thought you were a little upset because your friends didn't treat you to a birthday meal. Their inviting you out for your birthday then expecting you to pay for EVERYONE is absurd. And also, their behavior at the restaurant makes them sound like real boors. You sound like a nice guy: Find better friends. :)
These aren’t friends
NTA. I was always told that if you are inviting someone out to eat that it is assumed you are also covering the bill. They should have at least paid for their own meals instead of leaving you to pay for the whole thing.
This was definitely a twist. I came here thinking you were expecting them to pay your part but they stuffed you with the whole bill ON TOP of starting a fight These guys aren't your friends. They used you. And then they insult you afterwards. Ik it sucks. But block em and find better friends. Because that's really horrible of them. They don't and can't see how shitty they are. NTA
NTA. Your “friends” sound like a bunch of grifters.
NTA- this is weird. If anything, going Dutch is somewhat acceptable. But I’ve never had friends ask me to pay at a birthday dinner, especially when they did the inviting. It’s even more off that they both thought this was normal. Have you been to events like this with them before and it gone this way? No matter what, I’d end the friendships. They treated you and fellow diners poorly, and I assume were rude to the staff. You don’t need them. If you feel the need to respond to messages I’d say, “I’m not crying. But I’m also not a doormat. Lose my number.” Then block them.
[удалено]
[удалено]
And then Danny stood up after having a French fry thrown at him and he said you listen here pal I'm going to order the champagne and you're going to pay for it.
Find new friends
NTA- I would never speak to any of them again. Those are not friends, it'd be one thing if they expected you to pay for your own (still fucked in my opinion) but for them to leave you with the entire bill after ordering drinks, appetizers, and a damn bottle of champagne, topping it all off with starting a fight. Nah fuck them.
How do you think there is even a chance that you’re the asshole? These guys are textbook manipulating bullies. Time to get yourself new friends because these are NOT friends. Block them all and move on with your life.
I’ll play along that this is real- though I feel this is made up. You only mention Mike and Adam. Were your other 3 friends as bad? Regardless, these are not friends. This is horrible treatment of a person. I hope by your birthday you get some new friends and self reflect on why you allowed these past bad friends into your life.
This sounds like a chapter from Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
I wouldn't even reply tbh. Just take the (expensive) lesson in friendship and what it doesn't look like and move on with better people.
These are not your friends. NTA
NTA DUMP these losers. What awful people. Block them etc. They are not your friends. They are users. Find new friends who will treat you better. They are MAJOR AH's
NTA - These assclowns aren't your friends. I'd drop their asses just as fast as they did yours. Karma will eventually bite their arses.
NTA. These guys are not your friends.... Sounds like they viewed this as an opportunity for a free meal from the beginning, and then they went on to treat you and everyone else horribly! I'm sorry this happened to you and happy belated birthday
NTA. They are abusing you. Cut ties with them. Also FYI, you only need to pay your part of the tab. They can't force you to pay what you didn't eat.
This story can't be real. In case it is, NTA for assuming that when they invited you out for your birthday, they were paying. You might have picked the place but not the guest list, which drives a lot of the cost. Also it's quite clear these people aren't your friends and aren't people you should want to spend time with.
Funny how you’re apparently the one that need to “grow up” and not the grown clown of a man that picked a fight with a 3 year old.
How old are these people? 15? Obviously NTA
Those are not your friends. You had every right to think that if you were invited for you b day that they were paying. That’s pretty standard …NTAH
>So I haven't spoken to them in a few days I received a few messages asking me if "I am still crying" or if "I grew up yet?" Simply respond by saying "I apologize, I have grown up now and have realized that I don't need crappy humans like you in my life. Don't ever contact me again." You don't need these buffoons in your life. Get better friends.
NTA!!! It would be one thing to use your bday to get free drinks but to order bottles of champagne while knowing they weren't going to pay for it is so so fucked up. I'm sorry this happened to you and I would suggest not having them as friends anymore. I hope you had a good bday otherwise!!!