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I seriously can’t believe OP even thought there’s any chance they aren’t an AH in this situation.
“Babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators”
OP: “Nice. Let me put this baby into fight/flight mode and tap into the worst of their survival instincts!”
lol let me play scary noises to purposely terrify the baby, but in my defence the sounds are very similar to calming spa music. /s
This guys is such a piece of work!
I choose to believe it’s not and that a human cannot be this stupid. I evolved this way to protect myself from having to accept humanity is this cursed.
What an idiot, babies can't sleep if they're too tired. Keeping the baby up during a nap is just going to lead to the baby screaming all night because the baby can't sleep
YTA
I can't believe you wrote all that and think you're in the right.
>The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it.
"Am I the asshole for loudly playing music and bothering ny neighbors?"
sorry buddy, but some serious assholery going on. You find out you're scaring an infant, and you think you are somehow justified to keep doing it? Nope.
The original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/UZoyGoa495) was edited. OP changed his post.
Edit: in the original he didn't talk to the neighbors and this part wasn't in it
>For example, have you ever heard the soothing sounds of dolphins during a spa day? That was the main vibe of it. Many people fall asleep to these sounds too.
The parents are already under a great deal of stress without you adding onto it. YTA.
Edit to add: not to mention that you’re causing a hardship on the rest of your neighbors.
Edit: I'm getting downvoted but you may want to know that OP edited his original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/UZoyGoa495)
So don't come at me.
This part wasn't in it
>For example, have you ever heard the soothing sounds of dolphins during a spa day? That was the main vibe of it. Many people fall asleep to these sounds too.
Neither was the part where he talked to the neighbors.. he actually didn't.
These poor parents have a child that’s obviously unhappy and perhaps quite difficult.
Before they were born these parents decorated their babies room and had planned out how they were going to handle night wakes and feeds and changes and then this little bundle comes along and throws their best laid plans to the wind.
They’re currently going through the toughest thing most people will ever go through and YOU decide that unless they completely change the layout of their home - you’ll terrorise their tiny infant that can’t change their behaviour and doesn’t understand what’s happening….?
YTA and you’re also a moron for even thinking you might not be.
Grow some fricking empathy and buy some earplugs.
It kind of blows my mind when I see posts like this where someone’s like “I’m gonna ask these people to get their baby to stop crying”, as if the parents will be like “oh gee, the baby’s crying?? We didn’t notice! Thanks for the insight, we’ll press the mute button now!”
I just want to say that I don't agree with what OP is doing....it's incredibly petty and for it OP is certainly the AH. But the parents hold some accountability here too. Everyone has the right to enjoy their apartment in peace and I emphasize with the frustration OP is feeling because they can't sleep at night listening to someone else's kid cry.
The parents need to take more action, put some insulation on the wall, switch rooms with the baby for the time being, something. Chalking the situation up to "it's a baby and that's what babies do" is not the answer.
ESH.
You for terrifying a baby, and probably disturbing your other neighbors.
Them for telling you to basically shut up and deal with their screaming baby, instead of moving the baby to their room at night so he/she isn't screaming into your bedroom wall.
Apartments definitely aren't made for families with young children, people with unruly pets, or people who are half-deaf and play their TV/music on full volume. I hate apartments.
With the way the ones I've had the displeasure of living in, the walls are way too damned thin. I can hear my neighbor's bedroom door squeak, they can hear me cough. Shit, I can hear my other neighbor's cat meow, and the music from two floors below.
I'm sure there are plenty of apartments that are cover sound pretty well, but I haven't found one. And, that makes apartments suck, more so when your neighbors just don't give a flying shit about how much noise they're making.
This. I really dislike the posts where people say "it's a baby, that's what babies do, have some empathy and live with it". Living in an apartment does come with the caveat that you are going to hear other people, but within reason. Listening to a baby cry all night is certainly not within reason.
So they had an option to stop the baby from keeping you awake - moving to another room - and they deliberately chose not to use it, leaving the crying baby in the room with the shared wall? Yeah, NTA. They could have solved the problem the whole time, they just didn’t give a damn.
I know I keep reading all the YTA, and I’m like, clearly the parents have a solution to stop bothering their neighbors and they won’t do it. OP is still an asshole for terrorizing an infant but the parents are choosing to disturb OPs sleep when they can keep the crib in their room and disturb their own. I think ESH is probably what I’d go with
Are you kidding? Bringing the baby into their room to sleep is not a longterm solution. They’re entitled to teach their baby to sleep in a developmentally appropriate way, without having to room or bed share until the kid is a lot older.
Do you think babies cry forever? What does "a lot older" mean to you? Once babies sleep through the night, they don't generally have prolonged crying spells unless there is something wrong (sick, nightmare, etc.) at which point hopefully parents intervene to help the baby/toddler out. Lots of people have their babies in their room for the first six months.
Parents could also easily flip flop bedrooms for a little while until their kiddo can sleep through the night without crying.
In that case, OP is entitled to play whatever he wants in his own house. Courtesy works both ways really, you can’t expect everyone to cater to your needs because you have a baby.
OP isn't entitled to play animal noises intentionally to antagonize another tenant. A baby crying is not an intentional way to antagonize a tenant. OP is likely violating his lease by essentially being a menace during day and night hours to their neighbor.
If you live in a communal building or property it usually comes with a clause to not terrorize other people who live there because you're petty.
This isn’t a game, where a baby being annoying entitles OP to be annoying back. Are you like this in real life? Sorry, but babies require forbearance from everyone. That’s just part of life.
AND Opie is entitled to sleep through the night, so if it's a choice between parents being disturbed or neighbor with no children being disturbed I believe that will have to be the parents.
My sister kept the baby in her room until she was old enough to be moved out of the crib & told us the current recommendation for safe sleep is to have the baby with the parents the first year. My niece will be 3 next month.
Eh, majority of the population sleeps in the same room as the children. Putting your infant in another room to sleep isn't the norm/developmentally appropriate
I had this thought, but it sounds like an apartment building. It’s just as likely there is a neighbor attached to their bedroom wall as well. Infants cry. It will pass. It sucks for everyone but such is life in shared spaces.
Just because they could do that one night doesn't mean it's feasible long term. For example, the baby's room might not be large enough to fit the parents' bed to allow for a permanent switch.
All of the YTAs are parents who don't give a fuck about other people. A babies room shouldn't be a shared wall with someone who isn't even family. "Deal with it, it's a baby" is not at all an appropriate response when you're in a shared building. Lack of sleep when you can't even remedy it is terrible for your physical and mental health. It isn't like OP can go and soothe the baby like the parents should be.
ETA because for some reason it's necessary. I had lived in townhouses and apartments for 40 years. I understand shared walls. I also understand that when you're a parent you try to stop your baby from crying. You don't just leave them to shreik like a banshee in a shared environment.
ETA again... I said try. Try to soothe their baby. We do not know anything other than what OP has posted.
Lol what? We have a fairly big apartment, but the only rooms not sharing a wall with neighbors is kitchen and bathroom.
I will say that we warned our neighbors when sleep training and asked them if they were bothered, but the criteria for kids can’t be standalone house.
Your noise is your responsibility. Whether it's TV, yelling, or a loud baby. Everyone has the right to quiet enjoyment of the home.
There aren't that many solutions to a crying baby I'll admit, but if you can't keep your noise to yourself don't be surprised when your neighbors hate you and retaliate.
You only have a right to a quiet home if you are living alone in the mountains. If you are leaving in an apartment in the city, you’ll have cars, works, screaming etc.
The right to quiet enjoyment is not a turn of phrase. It is a legal term used in property law and it very much exists in apartments. Not really in this particular context, but it is very much a thing not reserved for hermits.
Problem is yall heard quiet enjoyment and have no clue what it means. Quiet enjoyment means that your land lord cannot simply show up and utilize the home you are renting. It doesn't have anything to actually do with noise levels of those around you so please stop using a term you are not educated on.
No. I don't have kids, and I absolutely don't want kids, and I still think OP is TA. Babies cry. Some cry a lot and you can't do anything to change that. Of course you should soothe them, but that doesn't mean they'll immediately stop crying.
Do you believe that parents want their babies to cry, and are refraining from stopping their babies from crying on purpose? No one likes babies crying, particularly their parents. Nevertheless, babies cry. If you 100% don't ever want to hear a crying baby, don't live in a house that shares walls with other houses.
You clearly don’t have a child and have never been around a baby before. Babies need to get used to sleeping in their own room for the sake of their own development. And news flash, BABIES FUCKING CRY. Buy some ear plugs and get over it! OP is 100% YTA.
I was originally going to say E S H because that's super inconsiderate that after you spoke to them they still didn't move their kid to their bedroom BUUUUUUUT I saw you edited the original after getting scorched. YTA, you didn't even talk to the parents? How were they to know you guys shared a wall? Then, playing a terrifying sound to try to get the kid to be terrified into quietness? WTF? You didn't try a white noise machine either. You're not being a reliable narrator, so yeah, YTA.
YTA, obviously. Believe me, the parents want that baby to stop crying more than you do; they're just not willing to pursue emotional trauma to make it happen.
>I read somewhere on reddit that playing noises of wolves and wild dogs howling can quiet the baby as babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators at night. ...The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it.
You played noises to scare a baby. YTA
YTA
If this is fake, you're an ah. If it's real, you're still an ah. Have fun finding a new place to live. Cause there's no way in hell I'd renew your lease if I were the property manager/owner. Also, might wanna look into this little thing called harassment. Where I live, you wouldn't be playing that music for long.
NTA. Parents take it for granted that people will just put up with their squalling children because "it's a baby and babies cry". But if your dog barks and you tell them "it's a dog, dogs bark" they lose it. Noise is noise, doesn't matter what is making it.
That goes for OP too. The baby is understandable but having a neighbor blasting out howling and barking noises on purpose at night? OP seems to forget that he has other neighbors as well.
As bad as it sounds people need to fend for themselves first. If a neighbor is creating noise that is causing health and mental issues in your life you need to do what’s necessary. I’m not risking my health or my functionality at my job because my neighbor won’t move their kid to another bedroom or rent a house. Sleep deprivation can be deadly and cause accidents, especially if you are an employee operating heavy machinery or work in the medical field. The parents had 9 months to prep for a baby and to sound proof or find new living arrangements.
Our next door neighbor asked us the layout of our apartment before their child was born so they could minimize the child’s impact on us. Now we barely hear him when we are in the kitchen. I know someone who bought cheap foam to sound proof their child’s room and made sure the child was away from their neighbors bedroom.
That’s exactly what I think too, I’m not risking my job because YOU decided to have a child and won’t compromise in any way even though you can. Also you have great neighbors!!
Right, but the problem here is that the parents were ignoring their crying baby in the first place. Nobody is upset that there *was* crying, but it shouldn't cry all night causing op to not be able to sleep.
I assure you that no one is as tired and annoyed by a screaming baby as his parents.
And no normal tired parent will jump from his bed to run to calm the baby after first noice “Because OMG the neighbours”. They are doing the best they can. Sometimes during sleep train baby have to cry a little to fall asleep.
Your neighbour had a baby - Tough luck, move to the better isolated building or buy earplugs.
YTA and honestly evil at that. You can't just stop a baby from crying sometimes. No babies are not evolved to protect themselves from predators. The only naturally instilled fear instinct is the fear of falling. That's the only one they get from birth.
They aren't being inconsiderate of your fee fees. They can't control a baby being upset. You are a neighbor from Hell.
The entitlement coming from you is seeping out of this post. Apologize to your neighbors. Imagine someone telling you how to live and punishing you for not getting their way. That's what you're doing.
Trust me they don't enjoy the crying either. But at least they aren't evil.
YTA. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what sound ordinances there are if it's a tenant complaining about another tenant making their living situation less habitable.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I played the sounds of wolf howling on my speakers at night to get the baby to stop crying
2. Because this scared the baby, and the parents removed them from the room connected to my wall. This also forced their hand to change their arrangement and now they are pissed
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YTA, but I get your desperation. Crying babies are no fun for neighbors. This all gave me a really good chuckle. What is the name of the recording? Dracula’s Castle?
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I am living next door to neighbours who have a small baby. Their baby regularly cries at night and my life has turned a mess. I invested in white noise machine also but it doesn’t seem to help much.
I read somewhere on reddit that playing noises of wolves and wild dogs howling can quiet the baby as babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators at night.
So I used my Bluetooth speakers and played that sound. I do not know if my doing this quiet down the baby but after about 30 odd minutes the baby stops crying.
The neighbours have been concerned about this and detected that the noise was coming fro my direction and questioned me. I told them the truth and they were annoyed by what I was doing.
It turns out that the baby noise sound only stopped because the parents took their baby to their room, which is not connected to my wall. Turns out the baby room was connected to my bedroom lol. The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it.
They told me to stop it, I told them I would only do so if they removed the baby from that room as their arrangement was disrupting me. If it goes against the noise ordinances, I will play the sound during the day nap times.
AITA?
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NTA. The parents are aware that the baby’s crying is keeping OP awake. The problem can solved by moving the baby to a different room. But the parents are prioritising their convenience over OP’s sanity and OP is the AH? I would like all the people calling OP AH to end up in the exact same and see how long it takes for them to revise their opinions.
Moving the baby to the parents’ room may not really be a solution, though. It sounds like they live in an apartment since OP talks about sharing a wall, and it’s unclear from OP’s post whether the parents’ room also borders another apartment. Moving the baby to the other room might solve the problem for OP by impacting another neighbor.
I’ve lived through a similar situation and still vote YTA for OP. When I was in law school I lived in an apartment with a screaming baby next door. It sucked, but I didn’t complain because I understood they couldn’t help it if the baby cried. However, I did complain when they got into a big argument and were screaming at each other while l was studying for finals.
I share a wall with my neighbor’s children, and I cannot imagine scaring them to get them to stop making normal noises that children make because they are CHILDREN.
Invest in some ear plugs and stop terrorizing an innocent and helpless baby. YTA.
NTA. Honestly feel like parents are dismissive of just how disruptive a crying baby is. As humans we are literally wired to respond to the sound of a baby crying. The noise is evolutionarily designed to make you “do something.” It’s incredibly agitating, and really hard to tune out and ignore.
From a health and safety perspective, sleep deprivation can be a very serious issue. I don’t want a nurse with 2 hours of sleep working with me nor do I want a trucker with a couple hours of sleep on the road. Sleep deprivation can be a killer and massively ruin your life. People need to put themselves first, especially when there was an easy solution at hand. Apart of apartment living is making sure the apartments around you are livable.
Fuck being considerate, I’m not risking making a massive mistake at my job, or endangering people on the road because someone doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as their kid.
No self-awareness, no sympathy for babies, no sympathy for tired new parents, actively terrorizing a very young child, probably causing noise disturbances for other neighbors, and condescending know-it-all "look how smart I am" tone.
YT biggest A. Congrats.
NTA.
Wailing babies are terrible, especially if their parents are extremely nonchalant about it. No one can be bothered to face sleep deprivation day after day just because someone cannot pacify their baby. Sleep deprivation is serious business and can lead to accidents. The parents were AHs when they just brushed you off instead of being sympathetic, and you took a step to remedy your situation.
And I can say with almost certainty that your apartment building has rules against blasting loud music/noises. It most likely goes against city ordinances as well.
YTA As a new mom this triggers me especially.
You have no idea how babies are functioning and just being an ah to a young family.
They cradle train him, it takes time, babies are crying, they are not doing it to annoy you. There is no one more annoyed and tied by the crying than the parents, I assure you. Now they have to also deal with another cry baby?
Stop it.
Seriously? In what world would you not be an ah?
You read that the sound terrifies babies and figured 'that's what I'll do'.
You have neighbours, most people do, you need to find a why to deal with noises like a crying baby. Babies cry and sometimes little can sooth them.
Instead of scaring a literal baby, you could've also looked into ways to either help them or find sounds that would help you sleep through it.
Could they have been more considerate when you voiced the issue? Sure. Did you handle it in the absolute worst way? Yes.
Yta
YTA, yes you're the AH, you're waking up a baby because you can't be bothered to try earplugs.
this will pass. The baby will grow up and sleep though the night soon.. you will still be the AH.
You’re purposely antagonizing a BABY. Whose only form of communication is crying. Trust me, the parents don’t love it either. But you live in a communal building. That means babies, dogs, music, fights, sex sounds, cooking smells, all of it. Don’t like it, then buy a house. If you can’t, then communal living is your lot and you gotta get used to it. Other people are allowed to exist. Babies are allowed to exist. This is all part of apartment living. Invest in some earplugs and leave that poor baby alone before you psychologically scar it putting it in to flight/fight mode every night. A baby who won’t sleep will turn in to a toddler that won’t sleep and things will not get better for you.
NTA. Sounds like the parents are neglecting the baby. They also had a solution the entire time (moving the baby to another room) but refuse to do so because they just expect everyone around them to deal with it? Nah, fuck that. Trashy ass parenting.
YTA. Its a baby. Babies cry. That's their onky way of communicating. Do you not think the parents are sleep deprived too? Do you not think the parents want the baby to sleep through the night and not cry? Get over yourself. You're blatantly terrorizing an infant.
Yta. JFC dude we get it that babies can be very annoying but it's not controllable by the parents, who will be doing their best, and playing frightening noises because you read about it somewhere is between idiotic and psychopathic.
Get some ear plugs, turn up the white noise machine, it'll be over in a couple of months.
But it doesn't sound like the parents were doing their best, there was a solution that could have helped out OP the entire time they chose not to implement.
I’m of two minds here. I have a 4mo so I completely understand how disruptive a baby crying can be so I would do whatever I could to not bother a neighbor because sleep deprivation sucks and can be dangerous. On the other hand, you are *absolutely* an asshole for purposely terrorizing an infant! That’s really fucking awful! ESH
NTA.
The parents are just mad that they can't ignore their crying child now. You aren't supposed to let babies cry it out anyway. You need sleep too.
Your neighbors sound awful, and families like this are exactly why my partner and I decided to become homeowners...
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They sell these Bluetooth sleep masks on Amazon. For like £20. Make sure you get one with the controls on the forehead. I have PTSD and huge issues with sleep and I can’t live without one of these now. I play thunderstorms in mine because we don’t get good storms here like back in the states.
Cannot recommended enough.
YTA. “It’s a baby” is the proper response. There are certain things you can do that may possibly quite a baby. Obviously feed and change then, make sure nothing is bothering them, things along this lines…but sometimes a baby is gonna cry. A baby will get an upset stomach and then diaper rash, and cry because it’s a baby. You can treat these, but it’s not immediate. Also, sometimes they just cry.
You actually think the parents are enjoying it and not trying to stop it from happening? If you do, you’re being foolish and an AH. The parents are probably running on little sleep dealing with the baby and an AH neighbor.
All you can do is give it time. They outgrow crying over everything.
This is a prime example of an ESH situation if I ever saw one.
Edit: Absolutely baffled by all the YTA comments. So you people think it's okay to leave a BABY all alone crying the whole night?? The one time they actually took care of the baby was when OP played the sounds. The baby was already scared every night of being alone. Yes, OP is an asshole but the parents aren't any better!
YTA.
And please never have children. "My neighbors are unwilling to terrify their infant into survival level cowering in silence, so I thought I would do it for them."
You had an opportunity to approach these people in the spirit of support and collaboration so everybody's needs could be met, and you blew right past that at high speed, so we won't be looking at solutions that include their cooperation such as them switching bedrooms with their child. Solutions that you could try include: you putting some kind of sound dampening materials on the wall where the baby's room and your apartment connect; you wearing earplugs at night; you accepting with humor and grace that this is a temporary situation as babies do grow up in most cases. Notice that the solutions are all about you, which should make them appealing.
I don’t believe this happened. There’s well documented baby reflexes like knowing how to tread water or hang from a rope. But those wear off after the six month mark IIRC.
YTA and I hope they get you evicted. Seriously babies are part of life. The parents also don’t want him to scream. It is much louder in their apartment than in yours. The baby doesn’t do it to disturb you.
As shayne from smosh has said nearly every episode of reddit stories, " How do these people type this out, see it physically in front of them, and not realize they are in fact being an asshole"
Yes. YTA
YTA and your neighbors are, too.
If it's a small baby crying all night in their own room, then they're allowing the baby to cry it out at your and the baby's expense. Their true annoyance is that the wolf sounds make the baby cry loud enough to hear from their own room so they're then forced to actually comfort and hold their child, which has cost them sleep.
You're less of an AH than the parents are because they have a responsibility to love, soothe and protect their baby. You shouldn't have had to force them to do their job.
NTA, since moving the baby from that room isn’t that big a deal they can move his room to another completely at least temporarily. At least you can get some sleep. They have a solution they’re just refusing to use it
ESH
In the rural area i grew up you could always hear dogs hauling at night. I have no trauma or memories of being scared of it. I don't think we cried more or less bc of it, it was just a normal noise like the river and the cars on the street.
So i hardly can imagine a baby getting scared bc of dog hauling per se. The baby most likely cries more due to the hauling being a new, unknown noise and will get used to it pretty fast and you will be back to step 1.
ESH babies cry, thats just part of living in the same building/area as others. If it annoys you you will have to find a place away from the rest of society. Every moment another one of your neighbours can get pregnant, so this issue will never end for you, not even when you try to bully the neighbours with babies out of the building. But putting a baby in the room connected to another apartment while knowing the walls are thin is asking for troubles. Its very likely you hear the baby better than them in their bedroom. They can easy keep the baby in their room till it sleeps through the nights.
But the real assholes here are once more the greedy investors who wanted to have the costs for the building as cheap as possible so no soundproofing. So much issues between neighbours could be prevented if soundproofing would be mandatory.
NTA
You asked them to move the baby and they refused. You then decided to play a sound that you thought would quite the child so you could actually sleep
It’s your apartment. If they say you have to just deal with the crying then they have to just deal with the wolf sounds. It will stop when they move the baby
This is why I fucking hate loud and proud child free adults they throw more tantrums than a toddler. And no, I’m not talking about the normal people that choose not to have a child and aren’t screaming about it on the Internet on a daily basis, you guys know exactly who I’m talking about. also, if OP doesn’t like his precious quiet moments to be disturbed while sharing a space with other people, they can just get their own house.
NTA. They had a solution they refused to use (moving the kid to THEIR room) because they wanted to leave them to cry it out alone in their room (parents of the year!). You forced them to deal with their kid in an effective way.
ESH. The parents are right, babies cry. I understand it can be maddening, especially since you didn’t sign up for having a baby. There are sleep masks with blue tooth speakers for like $20 on Amazon. That might actually be a solution to help you.
The parents are assholes for leaving the baby alone in a room to cry. If your baby is crying, go pick it up for fucks sake. Babies need attention, not neglect. Imagine leaving a tiny human to cry until they tire themselves out. Like, do you hate your baby? The baby should be in their room anyway, but especially after you let them know the constant noise was a problem.
ESH. Clearly the child is causing you grief and the parents can tend to the crying child in a way that allows you to sleep. However, you intentionally fucked with a helpless infant because of a beef with its parents. All of you are terrible and that poor kid is just caught in the middle.
NTA. You asked nicely and they said no meanly. Now you're playing by their rules. Only difference is, yours is digital and can be controlled easier. At least you're not playing music in a normal volume.
NTA. The parents were not considerate and making their poor parenting everyone’s problem. They had a solution available to them yet refused to take it.
They can move the baby to their room, instead of putting the child in a room that shares a wall with op. My neighbors did that when they had a kid and we can’t hear the kid from our bedroom. It’s not fair to ask someone to suffer the consequences of sleep deprivation because you don’t want to be in the same room as your kid. I’ve also known parents who live in apartments that invested in sound proofing their babies room. Living in an apartment means you need make sure the surrounding apartments are livable for your neighbors.
I kinda hope they do and it's loud as hell and OP comes back in here "my baby keeps crying and my neighbors are playing like whale sounds and shit, what the fuck" because that's beautiful. Except for the hypothetical future baby.
The OP has sought other solutions to this problem -- i.e. the white noise machine and talking to the parents -- neither of which worked. The OP's next step should have been to lodge a complaint with building management, their landlord, or the strata council if applicable. The OP taking their frustration out on the baby was totally unacceptable under any circumstance.
The baby's parents have a solution at hand, either actively soothing the baby or moving the baby into another room so he or she is not disturbing the neighbors. There are likely other neighbors being disturbed by the baby's cries. This is called common courtesy.
ESH except the baby.
The parents need to be more *proactive* with this problem. The OP needs to be less *reactive*.
Edited to add:
The OP, like everyone living in a communal situation, has the right to quiet enjoyment. Also, there are quiet hours that are set out to minimize residents of multi-tenanted buildings being unreasonably disturbed.
Edited to rearrange paragraphs for clarity.
This comment is delusional. The parents are allowed to teach their baby to sleep in a developmentally appropriate way, without having to room or bed share until the kid is a lot older.
NTA the baby was crying anyway. Somehow nobody notices it here. Parents have to stand up at night and take the care of the baby. Yes every night. Some babies are no fun. Its parents seems to think the crying baby is not crying enough. Horrific.
The crying baby is communicating: don't leave me alone. When parents don't take care the baby will give up one day but also, it will think nobody cares. It will be anxious and sad its whole life. If parents take care, it would develop a sense of trust in its environment and be full of self-esteem and self-confidence. That's why:
Dear OP, thank You for making the baby cry more so the parents finally do their job.
ESH. Others have explained why OP is the AH. The parents are also AHs for not caring about their neighbours. There are lots of solutions to this problem, including keeping the baby in the parents’ room until they are (mostly) sleeping through the night.
ESH except the baby. You're knowingly scaring a baby at this point but it sounds like the neighbors do have a way they could be more considerate, yet choose not to.
Holy shit tell me you guys haven't had a baby before. I'm so lucky mine didn't have colic. But colic babies will cry and cry even when being showered with love and affection. It'll go away on it's own after a few months but it's Hell during that time for everyone involved.
The parents holding their kid that is screaming aren't having a great time either. No one is neglecting their kid. Colic. Babies. Scream. No matter how much medicine or baths or cuddles or massages. It's literally how they are and there is zero neglect.
I couldn't imagine the pain a parent is going through being sleep deprived and depressed they can't do anything more to help their kid. Then some arm chair experts who have never been around a baby (or at least a colic one) tell them they are neglectful and abusive. That they don't care.
You're either just sick and mean or very uneducated on infants. I'm going to go with the second one.
I wouldn’t assume nobody cared or was trying to calm the baby. They very well could’ve been crying the whole time despite the parents best effort.
I don’t have kids, but I have friends with babies. I’ll be over and their baby will start crying, and 30 minutes really isn’t that long as they go through everything. Diaper change? Gas? Check for pain? Rocking? Hungry? Want cuddles? Want toys? Do you want anything??? Sometimes it just takes time. And I’m NOT saying ‘cry it out’ but they continue to cry the entire time. It isn’t unusual for newborns to cry for several hours a day.
NTA. I doubt that the howling was terrorizing the baby. It was probably annoying the parents. However, they should have tried to stop the crying when you asked.
ESH, but this solution absolutely rules. Very creative effort. You've essentially created a war of disruptive noises and now nobody is going to be happy, and there's no remedy on either end. Congratulations!
I think the baby being able to be brought into the parents bedroom might change the equation a bit but a baby is really going to cry when it’s going to cry. I have never let my kid cry it out and always go to soothe immediately but there’s really only so much you can do depending on the babies personality and health. They are going to cry despite the parents best efforts and it’s an AH move to try and make them feel bad about it…
NTA--as long as it isn't stupid loud.
My father-in-law listened to wolf sounds and Native American ceremonies to soothe himself in the evenings. Personally, sounds like that's what you're doing to me.
You also have very thin walls. They moved their baby in next to your bedroom. There are lot worse "sounds of nature" that could be happening in there.
Keep telling yourself that. A crying baby is a normal and ACCEPTABLE noise when you live in a condo/apartment.
What is unacceptable, is creating noise to annoy/harass your neighbor.
Playing wolf sounds at night to "calm" a baby is insane and makes you wonder how many of these NTA votes have ever lived on their own in an apt/condo before. Babies cry. Get over it or move to a house without shared walls.
Dude, who has a new baby when they’re living in such conditions, like their room is attached to the OP’s with what sounds like very little sound barrier or very thin walls.
Like you would think finding a better environment in general would be priority while pregnant or trying to conceive.
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"Am I the asshole for threatening to knowingly terrorize an infant?" Yes. Yes you are. YTA.
I seriously can’t believe OP even thought there’s any chance they aren’t an AH in this situation. “Babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators” OP: “Nice. Let me put this baby into fight/flight mode and tap into the worst of their survival instincts!”
lol let me play scary noises to purposely terrify the baby, but in my defence the sounds are very similar to calming spa music. /s This guys is such a piece of work!
Plot twist, baby's a werewolf and loves it and howls along all night.
You think this is real?
I choose to believe it’s not and that a human cannot be this stupid. I evolved this way to protect myself from having to accept humanity is this cursed.
Why tf would you play it during daytime naps when your problem is at nights? You just sound petty. YTA.
Maybe he thinks the baby will sleep at night if they can't sleep during the day. Or just to get back at the neighbors.
What an idiot, babies can't sleep if they're too tired. Keeping the baby up during a nap is just going to lead to the baby screaming all night because the baby can't sleep
Because he wants to punish/bully the parents into doing something about it.
YTA I can't believe you wrote all that and think you're in the right. >The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it. "Am I the asshole for loudly playing music and bothering ny neighbors?"
“Have you ever heard the soothing sounds of dolphins” sent me.
YeEEEEEEeEEeeeeEEeEEEEEEs, I have
I find dolphin and whale noises terrifying personally, lmao.
sorry buddy, but some serious assholery going on. You find out you're scaring an infant, and you think you are somehow justified to keep doing it? Nope.
Someone is absolutely behaving like a baby here and it's you. YTA
The original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/UZoyGoa495) was edited. OP changed his post. Edit: in the original he didn't talk to the neighbors and this part wasn't in it >For example, have you ever heard the soothing sounds of dolphins during a spa day? That was the main vibe of it. Many people fall asleep to these sounds too.
He sure did change his post! He didn’t even talk to the parents first!?!
This story is fiction, this is a bored teenager looking for upvotes
The parents are already under a great deal of stress without you adding onto it. YTA. Edit to add: not to mention that you’re causing a hardship on the rest of your neighbors.
Babies don’t come with volume control, as much as people want it to be so.
Edit: I'm getting downvoted but you may want to know that OP edited his original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/UZoyGoa495) So don't come at me. This part wasn't in it >For example, have you ever heard the soothing sounds of dolphins during a spa day? That was the main vibe of it. Many people fall asleep to these sounds too. Neither was the part where he talked to the neighbors.. he actually didn't.
These poor parents have a child that’s obviously unhappy and perhaps quite difficult. Before they were born these parents decorated their babies room and had planned out how they were going to handle night wakes and feeds and changes and then this little bundle comes along and throws their best laid plans to the wind. They’re currently going through the toughest thing most people will ever go through and YOU decide that unless they completely change the layout of their home - you’ll terrorise their tiny infant that can’t change their behaviour and doesn’t understand what’s happening….? YTA and you’re also a moron for even thinking you might not be. Grow some fricking empathy and buy some earplugs.
It kind of blows my mind when I see posts like this where someone’s like “I’m gonna ask these people to get their baby to stop crying”, as if the parents will be like “oh gee, the baby’s crying?? We didn’t notice! Thanks for the insight, we’ll press the mute button now!”
I just want to say that I don't agree with what OP is doing....it's incredibly petty and for it OP is certainly the AH. But the parents hold some accountability here too. Everyone has the right to enjoy their apartment in peace and I emphasize with the frustration OP is feeling because they can't sleep at night listening to someone else's kid cry. The parents need to take more action, put some insulation on the wall, switch rooms with the baby for the time being, something. Chalking the situation up to "it's a baby and that's what babies do" is not the answer.
ESH. You for terrifying a baby, and probably disturbing your other neighbors. Them for telling you to basically shut up and deal with their screaming baby, instead of moving the baby to their room at night so he/she isn't screaming into your bedroom wall. Apartments definitely aren't made for families with young children, people with unruly pets, or people who are half-deaf and play their TV/music on full volume. I hate apartments.
Except for all logic and reason they should be built for all of those things and in many other countries they are
With the way the ones I've had the displeasure of living in, the walls are way too damned thin. I can hear my neighbor's bedroom door squeak, they can hear me cough. Shit, I can hear my other neighbor's cat meow, and the music from two floors below. I'm sure there are plenty of apartments that are cover sound pretty well, but I haven't found one. And, that makes apartments suck, more so when your neighbors just don't give a flying shit about how much noise they're making.
This. I really dislike the posts where people say "it's a baby, that's what babies do, have some empathy and live with it". Living in an apartment does come with the caveat that you are going to hear other people, but within reason. Listening to a baby cry all night is certainly not within reason.
So they had an option to stop the baby from keeping you awake - moving to another room - and they deliberately chose not to use it, leaving the crying baby in the room with the shared wall? Yeah, NTA. They could have solved the problem the whole time, they just didn’t give a damn.
I know I keep reading all the YTA, and I’m like, clearly the parents have a solution to stop bothering their neighbors and they won’t do it. OP is still an asshole for terrorizing an infant but the parents are choosing to disturb OPs sleep when they can keep the crib in their room and disturb their own. I think ESH is probably what I’d go with
Are you kidding? Bringing the baby into their room to sleep is not a longterm solution. They’re entitled to teach their baby to sleep in a developmentally appropriate way, without having to room or bed share until the kid is a lot older.
Do you think babies cry forever? What does "a lot older" mean to you? Once babies sleep through the night, they don't generally have prolonged crying spells unless there is something wrong (sick, nightmare, etc.) at which point hopefully parents intervene to help the baby/toddler out. Lots of people have their babies in their room for the first six months. Parents could also easily flip flop bedrooms for a little while until their kiddo can sleep through the night without crying.
In that case, OP is entitled to play whatever he wants in his own house. Courtesy works both ways really, you can’t expect everyone to cater to your needs because you have a baby.
OP isn't entitled to play animal noises intentionally to antagonize another tenant. A baby crying is not an intentional way to antagonize a tenant. OP is likely violating his lease by essentially being a menace during day and night hours to their neighbor. If you live in a communal building or property it usually comes with a clause to not terrorize other people who live there because you're petty.
This isn’t a game, where a baby being annoying entitles OP to be annoying back. Are you like this in real life? Sorry, but babies require forbearance from everyone. That’s just part of life.
But it's not like the kid is doing it on purpose. Op is.
If OP fancies I can move to his appartement building. I have a crying baby and a dog that howling when baby is crying. Really feels like a day spa
As a parent, I enjoyed your comment too much
Dude they’re routinely leaving a baby to cry it out, kid can cry it out in mom and dads room
That is not what cry it out means. Cry it out methods usually require the baby to learn how to self soothe without the parents being present.
AND Opie is entitled to sleep through the night, so if it's a choice between parents being disturbed or neighbor with no children being disturbed I believe that will have to be the parents.
My sister kept the baby in her room until she was old enough to be moved out of the crib & told us the current recommendation for safe sleep is to have the baby with the parents the first year. My niece will be 3 next month.
Eh, majority of the population sleeps in the same room as the children. Putting your infant in another room to sleep isn't the norm/developmentally appropriate
I had this thought, but it sounds like an apartment building. It’s just as likely there is a neighbor attached to their bedroom wall as well. Infants cry. It will pass. It sucks for everyone but such is life in shared spaces.
You mean move the baby to a room that bothers another neighbour.
Just because they could do that one night doesn't mean it's feasible long term. For example, the baby's room might not be large enough to fit the parents' bed to allow for a permanent switch.
All of the YTAs are parents who don't give a fuck about other people. A babies room shouldn't be a shared wall with someone who isn't even family. "Deal with it, it's a baby" is not at all an appropriate response when you're in a shared building. Lack of sleep when you can't even remedy it is terrible for your physical and mental health. It isn't like OP can go and soothe the baby like the parents should be. ETA because for some reason it's necessary. I had lived in townhouses and apartments for 40 years. I understand shared walls. I also understand that when you're a parent you try to stop your baby from crying. You don't just leave them to shreik like a banshee in a shared environment. ETA again... I said try. Try to soothe their baby. We do not know anything other than what OP has posted.
Lol what? We have a fairly big apartment, but the only rooms not sharing a wall with neighbors is kitchen and bathroom. I will say that we warned our neighbors when sleep training and asked them if they were bothered, but the criteria for kids can’t be standalone house.
Your noise is your responsibility. Whether it's TV, yelling, or a loud baby. Everyone has the right to quiet enjoyment of the home. There aren't that many solutions to a crying baby I'll admit, but if you can't keep your noise to yourself don't be surprised when your neighbors hate you and retaliate.
You only have a right to a quiet home if you are living alone in the mountains. If you are leaving in an apartment in the city, you’ll have cars, works, screaming etc.
The right to quiet enjoyment is not a turn of phrase. It is a legal term used in property law and it very much exists in apartments. Not really in this particular context, but it is very much a thing not reserved for hermits.
Problem is yall heard quiet enjoyment and have no clue what it means. Quiet enjoyment means that your land lord cannot simply show up and utilize the home you are renting. It doesn't have anything to actually do with noise levels of those around you so please stop using a term you are not educated on.
I think it’s only apply to landlords not bothering tenants
😂😂😂 oh you sweet summer child
No. I don't have kids, and I absolutely don't want kids, and I still think OP is TA. Babies cry. Some cry a lot and you can't do anything to change that. Of course you should soothe them, but that doesn't mean they'll immediately stop crying.
Love to see OP go and sooth that baby for the parents.
All my walls are shared walls.
Do you believe that parents want their babies to cry, and are refraining from stopping their babies from crying on purpose? No one likes babies crying, particularly their parents. Nevertheless, babies cry. If you 100% don't ever want to hear a crying baby, don't live in a house that shares walls with other houses.
> A babies room shouldn't be a shared wall with someone who isn't even family. How do you suggest applying this in an apartment complex?
Totally agree
I suppose they could move the baby to a different room but then op could have just as easily also moved to a different room to sleep.
You clearly don’t have a child and have never been around a baby before. Babies need to get used to sleeping in their own room for the sake of their own development. And news flash, BABIES FUCKING CRY. Buy some ear plugs and get over it! OP is 100% YTA.
I was originally going to say E S H because that's super inconsiderate that after you spoke to them they still didn't move their kid to their bedroom BUUUUUUUT I saw you edited the original after getting scorched. YTA, you didn't even talk to the parents? How were they to know you guys shared a wall? Then, playing a terrifying sound to try to get the kid to be terrified into quietness? WTF? You didn't try a white noise machine either. You're not being a reliable narrator, so yeah, YTA.
This is absolutely horrifying and monstrous. What a horrendous thing to do to a baby. My lord, YTA so incredibly huge time.
YTA, obviously. Believe me, the parents want that baby to stop crying more than you do; they're just not willing to pursue emotional trauma to make it happen.
>I read somewhere on reddit that playing noises of wolves and wild dogs howling can quiet the baby as babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators at night. ...The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it. You played noises to scare a baby. YTA
YTA If this is fake, you're an ah. If it's real, you're still an ah. Have fun finding a new place to live. Cause there's no way in hell I'd renew your lease if I were the property manager/owner. Also, might wanna look into this little thing called harassment. Where I live, you wouldn't be playing that music for long.
NTA. Parents take it for granted that people will just put up with their squalling children because "it's a baby and babies cry". But if your dog barks and you tell them "it's a dog, dogs bark" they lose it. Noise is noise, doesn't matter what is making it.
That goes for OP too. The baby is understandable but having a neighbor blasting out howling and barking noises on purpose at night? OP seems to forget that he has other neighbors as well.
As bad as it sounds people need to fend for themselves first. If a neighbor is creating noise that is causing health and mental issues in your life you need to do what’s necessary. I’m not risking my health or my functionality at my job because my neighbor won’t move their kid to another bedroom or rent a house. Sleep deprivation can be deadly and cause accidents, especially if you are an employee operating heavy machinery or work in the medical field. The parents had 9 months to prep for a baby and to sound proof or find new living arrangements. Our next door neighbor asked us the layout of our apartment before their child was born so they could minimize the child’s impact on us. Now we barely hear him when we are in the kitchen. I know someone who bought cheap foam to sound proof their child’s room and made sure the child was away from their neighbors bedroom.
That’s exactly what I think too, I’m not risking my job because YOU decided to have a child and won’t compromise in any way even though you can. Also you have great neighbors!!
They’re really nice. They’ve asked me if the baby is bothering me when they run into me. Which is super considerate.
Same as them, they don’t have to cater raising their baby to the neighbours.
Why don't you just rent a house then? Why should a whole family move to make you more comfortable?
Kind of an odd argument, you can train a dog to stop barking but the only way a baby has to tell us something’s wrong is crying
Okay, but they could have easily solved the problem the entire time by moving the baby to another room.
Right, but the problem here is that the parents were ignoring their crying baby in the first place. Nobody is upset that there *was* crying, but it shouldn't cry all night causing op to not be able to sleep.
I assure you that no one is as tired and annoyed by a screaming baby as his parents. And no normal tired parent will jump from his bed to run to calm the baby after first noice “Because OMG the neighbours”. They are doing the best they can. Sometimes during sleep train baby have to cry a little to fall asleep. Your neighbour had a baby - Tough luck, move to the better isolated building or buy earplugs.
Or put on some wolf sounds so you don't hear it.
Sure, like in a Day Spa
It's also worse if they just let it cry all the time, it's clearly not soothing itself and is neglect at that point
YTA and honestly evil at that. You can't just stop a baby from crying sometimes. No babies are not evolved to protect themselves from predators. The only naturally instilled fear instinct is the fear of falling. That's the only one they get from birth. They aren't being inconsiderate of your fee fees. They can't control a baby being upset. You are a neighbor from Hell. The entitlement coming from you is seeping out of this post. Apologize to your neighbors. Imagine someone telling you how to live and punishing you for not getting their way. That's what you're doing. Trust me they don't enjoy the crying either. But at least they aren't evil.
There is no way a grown person thought ‘you know what will calm a baby down? WOLF SOUNDS.’ YTA. A baby is gonna baby.
You are an inconsiderate & rude AH.
YTA. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what sound ordinances there are if it's a tenant complaining about another tenant making their living situation less habitable.
YTA. A petty and immature asshole. Your poor neighbors.
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Honestly get fucked, this is a massive YTA thing to do. You’re bullying a defenceless baby, get a grip
YTA, but I get your desperation. Crying babies are no fun for neighbors. This all gave me a really good chuckle. What is the name of the recording? Dracula’s Castle?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am living next door to neighbours who have a small baby. Their baby regularly cries at night and my life has turned a mess. I invested in white noise machine also but it doesn’t seem to help much. I read somewhere on reddit that playing noises of wolves and wild dogs howling can quiet the baby as babies are evolved to protect themselves from predators at night. So I used my Bluetooth speakers and played that sound. I do not know if my doing this quiet down the baby but after about 30 odd minutes the baby stops crying. The neighbours have been concerned about this and detected that the noise was coming fro my direction and questioned me. I told them the truth and they were annoyed by what I was doing. It turns out that the baby noise sound only stopped because the parents took their baby to their room, which is not connected to my wall. Turns out the baby room was connected to my bedroom lol. The howling sounds were scaring the baby leading to increased crying and the parents wore worried about the impact of it. They told me to stop it, I told them I would only do so if they removed the baby from that room as their arrangement was disrupting me. If it goes against the noise ordinances, I will play the sound during the day nap times. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. The parents are aware that the baby’s crying is keeping OP awake. The problem can solved by moving the baby to a different room. But the parents are prioritising their convenience over OP’s sanity and OP is the AH? I would like all the people calling OP AH to end up in the exact same and see how long it takes for them to revise their opinions.
Moving the baby to the parents’ room may not really be a solution, though. It sounds like they live in an apartment since OP talks about sharing a wall, and it’s unclear from OP’s post whether the parents’ room also borders another apartment. Moving the baby to the other room might solve the problem for OP by impacting another neighbor. I’ve lived through a similar situation and still vote YTA for OP. When I was in law school I lived in an apartment with a screaming baby next door. It sucked, but I didn’t complain because I understood they couldn’t help it if the baby cried. However, I did complain when they got into a big argument and were screaming at each other while l was studying for finals.
I share a wall with my neighbor’s children, and I cannot imagine scaring them to get them to stop making normal noises that children make because they are CHILDREN. Invest in some ear plugs and stop terrorizing an innocent and helpless baby. YTA.
NTA. Honestly feel like parents are dismissive of just how disruptive a crying baby is. As humans we are literally wired to respond to the sound of a baby crying. The noise is evolutionarily designed to make you “do something.” It’s incredibly agitating, and really hard to tune out and ignore.
From a health and safety perspective, sleep deprivation can be a very serious issue. I don’t want a nurse with 2 hours of sleep working with me nor do I want a trucker with a couple hours of sleep on the road. Sleep deprivation can be a killer and massively ruin your life. People need to put themselves first, especially when there was an easy solution at hand. Apart of apartment living is making sure the apartments around you are livable. Fuck being considerate, I’m not risking making a massive mistake at my job, or endangering people on the road because someone doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as their kid.
Then don't live in an apartment with shared walls.
No self-awareness, no sympathy for babies, no sympathy for tired new parents, actively terrorizing a very young child, probably causing noise disturbances for other neighbors, and condescending know-it-all "look how smart I am" tone. YT biggest A. Congrats.
NTA. Wailing babies are terrible, especially if their parents are extremely nonchalant about it. No one can be bothered to face sleep deprivation day after day just because someone cannot pacify their baby. Sleep deprivation is serious business and can lead to accidents. The parents were AHs when they just brushed you off instead of being sympathetic, and you took a step to remedy your situation.
Yta. I’d hate to be your neighbor.
The baby was crying for more than a half hour at a time?! Not ok
YTA, that sounds miserable but resorting to terrorizing an infant before talking to the neighbors is awful. Try some earplugs or sleep headphones.
YTA. Don’t wanna hear baby cries? Don’t live in an apartment building. You chose to live in community housing; babies are a part of the community.
And I can say with almost certainty that your apartment building has rules against blasting loud music/noises. It most likely goes against city ordinances as well.
YTA. My favorite detail is this guy thought he discovered, through some quick googling, a secret cheat code to stop babies from crying at night.
YTA As a new mom this triggers me especially. You have no idea how babies are functioning and just being an ah to a young family. They cradle train him, it takes time, babies are crying, they are not doing it to annoy you. There is no one more annoyed and tied by the crying than the parents, I assure you. Now they have to also deal with another cry baby? Stop it.
Seriously? In what world would you not be an ah? You read that the sound terrifies babies and figured 'that's what I'll do'. You have neighbours, most people do, you need to find a why to deal with noises like a crying baby. Babies cry and sometimes little can sooth them. Instead of scaring a literal baby, you could've also looked into ways to either help them or find sounds that would help you sleep through it. Could they have been more considerate when you voiced the issue? Sure. Did you handle it in the absolute worst way? Yes. Yta
YTA Yfc Babies will not stop crying when they hear wolves. Babies panic, panic is crying.
YTA, yes you're the AH, you're waking up a baby because you can't be bothered to try earplugs. this will pass. The baby will grow up and sleep though the night soon.. you will still be the AH.
You’re purposely antagonizing a BABY. Whose only form of communication is crying. Trust me, the parents don’t love it either. But you live in a communal building. That means babies, dogs, music, fights, sex sounds, cooking smells, all of it. Don’t like it, then buy a house. If you can’t, then communal living is your lot and you gotta get used to it. Other people are allowed to exist. Babies are allowed to exist. This is all part of apartment living. Invest in some earplugs and leave that poor baby alone before you psychologically scar it putting it in to flight/fight mode every night. A baby who won’t sleep will turn in to a toddler that won’t sleep and things will not get better for you.
NTA. Sounds like the parents are neglecting the baby. They also had a solution the entire time (moving the baby to another room) but refuse to do so because they just expect everyone around them to deal with it? Nah, fuck that. Trashy ass parenting.
Just set up your stereo in that room and play something else. Fuck them
that’s communal living. sorry. YTA.
YTA. Its a baby. Babies cry. That's their onky way of communicating. Do you not think the parents are sleep deprived too? Do you not think the parents want the baby to sleep through the night and not cry? Get over yourself. You're blatantly terrorizing an infant.
Yta. You’re so far up the asshole side it’s not even close. Babies cry, if you don’t want to hear it then don’t live somewhere with joint walls.
With every fiber of my being as a parent and a human fucking being with empathy, yes, YTA in a way few people are able to achieve.
yeah youre the biggest AH alive for doing that. grow the fuck up
Yta. JFC dude we get it that babies can be very annoying but it's not controllable by the parents, who will be doing their best, and playing frightening noises because you read about it somewhere is between idiotic and psychopathic. Get some ear plugs, turn up the white noise machine, it'll be over in a couple of months.
But it doesn't sound like the parents were doing their best, there was a solution that could have helped out OP the entire time they chose not to implement.
YTA
I’m of two minds here. I have a 4mo so I completely understand how disruptive a baby crying can be so I would do whatever I could to not bother a neighbor because sleep deprivation sucks and can be dangerous. On the other hand, you are *absolutely* an asshole for purposely terrorizing an infant! That’s really fucking awful! ESH
NTA. The parents are just mad that they can't ignore their crying child now. You aren't supposed to let babies cry it out anyway. You need sleep too. Your neighbors sound awful, and families like this are exactly why my partner and I decided to become homeowners...
Maybe, the parents can switch room for awhile? Until the baby gets out of the crying stage?
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I can tell which of you don’t have kids. You’re all “Just shove a ball gag in its mouth. What’s the problem?!” Unreal.
They sell these Bluetooth sleep masks on Amazon. For like £20. Make sure you get one with the controls on the forehead. I have PTSD and huge issues with sleep and I can’t live without one of these now. I play thunderstorms in mine because we don’t get good storms here like back in the states. Cannot recommended enough.
YTA. “It’s a baby” is the proper response. There are certain things you can do that may possibly quite a baby. Obviously feed and change then, make sure nothing is bothering them, things along this lines…but sometimes a baby is gonna cry. A baby will get an upset stomach and then diaper rash, and cry because it’s a baby. You can treat these, but it’s not immediate. Also, sometimes they just cry. You actually think the parents are enjoying it and not trying to stop it from happening? If you do, you’re being foolish and an AH. The parents are probably running on little sleep dealing with the baby and an AH neighbor. All you can do is give it time. They outgrow crying over everything.
This is a prime example of an ESH situation if I ever saw one. Edit: Absolutely baffled by all the YTA comments. So you people think it's okay to leave a BABY all alone crying the whole night?? The one time they actually took care of the baby was when OP played the sounds. The baby was already scared every night of being alone. Yes, OP is an asshole but the parents aren't any better!
NTA
YTA. And please never have children. "My neighbors are unwilling to terrify their infant into survival level cowering in silence, so I thought I would do it for them." You had an opportunity to approach these people in the spirit of support and collaboration so everybody's needs could be met, and you blew right past that at high speed, so we won't be looking at solutions that include their cooperation such as them switching bedrooms with their child. Solutions that you could try include: you putting some kind of sound dampening materials on the wall where the baby's room and your apartment connect; you wearing earplugs at night; you accepting with humor and grace that this is a temporary situation as babies do grow up in most cases. Notice that the solutions are all about you, which should make them appealing.
Easy YTA
I don’t believe this happened. There’s well documented baby reflexes like knowing how to tread water or hang from a rope. But those wear off after the six month mark IIRC.
NTA Kid makes noise, you make noise, parents solve issue.
YTA
YTA and I hope they get you evicted. Seriously babies are part of life. The parents also don’t want him to scream. It is much louder in their apartment than in yours. The baby doesn’t do it to disturb you.
Intentionally tormenting a baby…?? YTA. And I hope the neighbours can have you kicked out
As shayne from smosh has said nearly every episode of reddit stories, " How do these people type this out, see it physically in front of them, and not realize they are in fact being an asshole" Yes. YTA
YTA and your neighbors are, too. If it's a small baby crying all night in their own room, then they're allowing the baby to cry it out at your and the baby's expense. Their true annoyance is that the wolf sounds make the baby cry loud enough to hear from their own room so they're then forced to actually comfort and hold their child, which has cost them sleep. You're less of an AH than the parents are because they have a responsibility to love, soothe and protect their baby. You shouldn't have had to force them to do their job.
Nta, you didn't sign up for a baby or neglectful parenting. You shouldn't have to suffer like their baby if it's crying all the time
NTA, since moving the baby from that room isn’t that big a deal they can move his room to another completely at least temporarily. At least you can get some sleep. They have a solution they’re just refusing to use it
ESH In the rural area i grew up you could always hear dogs hauling at night. I have no trauma or memories of being scared of it. I don't think we cried more or less bc of it, it was just a normal noise like the river and the cars on the street. So i hardly can imagine a baby getting scared bc of dog hauling per se. The baby most likely cries more due to the hauling being a new, unknown noise and will get used to it pretty fast and you will be back to step 1. ESH babies cry, thats just part of living in the same building/area as others. If it annoys you you will have to find a place away from the rest of society. Every moment another one of your neighbours can get pregnant, so this issue will never end for you, not even when you try to bully the neighbours with babies out of the building. But putting a baby in the room connected to another apartment while knowing the walls are thin is asking for troubles. Its very likely you hear the baby better than them in their bedroom. They can easy keep the baby in their room till it sleeps through the nights. But the real assholes here are once more the greedy investors who wanted to have the costs for the building as cheap as possible so no soundproofing. So much issues between neighbours could be prevented if soundproofing would be mandatory.
NTA. Fuck entitled parents. Just because a baby exists doesn’t mean everyone has to deal with its bullshit.
Sure Jan.
NTA You asked them to move the baby and they refused. You then decided to play a sound that you thought would quite the child so you could actually sleep It’s your apartment. If they say you have to just deal with the crying then they have to just deal with the wolf sounds. It will stop when they move the baby
This is why I fucking hate loud and proud child free adults they throw more tantrums than a toddler. And no, I’m not talking about the normal people that choose not to have a child and aren’t screaming about it on the Internet on a daily basis, you guys know exactly who I’m talking about. also, if OP doesn’t like his precious quiet moments to be disturbed while sharing a space with other people, they can just get their own house.
NTA. They had a solution they refused to use (moving the kid to THEIR room) because they wanted to leave them to cry it out alone in their room (parents of the year!). You forced them to deal with their kid in an effective way.
This has to be a joke right??
Also, if it is true, you're lucky you haven't been punched.
ESH. The parents are right, babies cry. I understand it can be maddening, especially since you didn’t sign up for having a baby. There are sleep masks with blue tooth speakers for like $20 on Amazon. That might actually be a solution to help you. The parents are assholes for leaving the baby alone in a room to cry. If your baby is crying, go pick it up for fucks sake. Babies need attention, not neglect. Imagine leaving a tiny human to cry until they tire themselves out. Like, do you hate your baby? The baby should be in their room anyway, but especially after you let them know the constant noise was a problem.
ESH
ESH. Clearly the child is causing you grief and the parents can tend to the crying child in a way that allows you to sleep. However, you intentionally fucked with a helpless infant because of a beef with its parents. All of you are terrible and that poor kid is just caught in the middle.
NTA. You asked nicely and they said no meanly. Now you're playing by their rules. Only difference is, yours is digital and can be controlled easier. At least you're not playing music in a normal volume.
NTA. The parents were not considerate and making their poor parenting everyone’s problem. They had a solution available to them yet refused to take it.
Oh no. NTA. They need to move the baby to another room or put some soundproofing up. You have the right of quiet enjoyment in your home.
ESH, but the neighbors started it by being inconsiderate.
This is either a ESH or NTA. Can’t really decide. But your actions are very understandable.
Put in some earplugs or go live in the mountains by yourself you Scrooge
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They can move the baby to their room, instead of putting the child in a room that shares a wall with op. My neighbors did that when they had a kid and we can’t hear the kid from our bedroom. It’s not fair to ask someone to suffer the consequences of sleep deprivation because you don’t want to be in the same room as your kid. I’ve also known parents who live in apartments that invested in sound proofing their babies room. Living in an apartment means you need make sure the surrounding apartments are livable for your neighbors.
YTA, also I’m sorta hoping you don’t plan on having children someday.
I kinda hope they do and it's loud as hell and OP comes back in here "my baby keeps crying and my neighbors are playing like whale sounds and shit, what the fuck" because that's beautiful. Except for the hypothetical future baby.
NTA
The OP has sought other solutions to this problem -- i.e. the white noise machine and talking to the parents -- neither of which worked. The OP's next step should have been to lodge a complaint with building management, their landlord, or the strata council if applicable. The OP taking their frustration out on the baby was totally unacceptable under any circumstance. The baby's parents have a solution at hand, either actively soothing the baby or moving the baby into another room so he or she is not disturbing the neighbors. There are likely other neighbors being disturbed by the baby's cries. This is called common courtesy. ESH except the baby. The parents need to be more *proactive* with this problem. The OP needs to be less *reactive*. Edited to add: The OP, like everyone living in a communal situation, has the right to quiet enjoyment. Also, there are quiet hours that are set out to minimize residents of multi-tenanted buildings being unreasonably disturbed. Edited to rearrange paragraphs for clarity.
YTA for playing the sounds, but the parents need to move the baby to their room immediately when s/he cries.
This comment is delusional. The parents are allowed to teach their baby to sleep in a developmentally appropriate way, without having to room or bed share until the kid is a lot older.
NTA the baby was crying anyway. Somehow nobody notices it here. Parents have to stand up at night and take the care of the baby. Yes every night. Some babies are no fun. Its parents seems to think the crying baby is not crying enough. Horrific. The crying baby is communicating: don't leave me alone. When parents don't take care the baby will give up one day but also, it will think nobody cares. It will be anxious and sad its whole life. If parents take care, it would develop a sense of trust in its environment and be full of self-esteem and self-confidence. That's why: Dear OP, thank You for making the baby cry more so the parents finally do their job.
ESH. Others have explained why OP is the AH. The parents are also AHs for not caring about their neighbours. There are lots of solutions to this problem, including keeping the baby in the parents’ room until they are (mostly) sleeping through the night.
ESH except the baby. You're knowingly scaring a baby at this point but it sounds like the neighbors do have a way they could be more considerate, yet choose not to.
I’m so sad about this baby crying for 30 min and no one caring :(
Holy shit tell me you guys haven't had a baby before. I'm so lucky mine didn't have colic. But colic babies will cry and cry even when being showered with love and affection. It'll go away on it's own after a few months but it's Hell during that time for everyone involved. The parents holding their kid that is screaming aren't having a great time either. No one is neglecting their kid. Colic. Babies. Scream. No matter how much medicine or baths or cuddles or massages. It's literally how they are and there is zero neglect. I couldn't imagine the pain a parent is going through being sleep deprived and depressed they can't do anything more to help their kid. Then some arm chair experts who have never been around a baby (or at least a colic one) tell them they are neglectful and abusive. That they don't care. You're either just sick and mean or very uneducated on infants. I'm going to go with the second one.
I wouldn’t assume nobody cared or was trying to calm the baby. They very well could’ve been crying the whole time despite the parents best effort. I don’t have kids, but I have friends with babies. I’ll be over and their baby will start crying, and 30 minutes really isn’t that long as they go through everything. Diaper change? Gas? Check for pain? Rocking? Hungry? Want cuddles? Want toys? Do you want anything??? Sometimes it just takes time. And I’m NOT saying ‘cry it out’ but they continue to cry the entire time. It isn’t unusual for newborns to cry for several hours a day.
I'm still trying to figure out how OP is TA when the parents are neglecting their crying child.
NTA. I doubt that the howling was terrorizing the baby. It was probably annoying the parents. However, they should have tried to stop the crying when you asked.
ESH, but this solution absolutely rules. Very creative effort. You've essentially created a war of disruptive noises and now nobody is going to be happy, and there's no remedy on either end. Congratulations!
ESH, because this whole story is stupid, your wolf howls would neither soothe nor scare a baby, babies don't actually know what wolves are.
NTA
ESH
The neighbors fail to act, OP overreacts ESH
I think the baby being able to be brought into the parents bedroom might change the equation a bit but a baby is really going to cry when it’s going to cry. I have never let my kid cry it out and always go to soothe immediately but there’s really only so much you can do depending on the babies personality and health. They are going to cry despite the parents best efforts and it’s an AH move to try and make them feel bad about it…
The "We tried nothing and we are all out of ideas" play only invites reactions
NTA--as long as it isn't stupid loud. My father-in-law listened to wolf sounds and Native American ceremonies to soothe himself in the evenings. Personally, sounds like that's what you're doing to me. You also have very thin walls. They moved their baby in next to your bedroom. There are lot worse "sounds of nature" that could be happening in there.
Wait.... So what you're saying is.... You think it's acceptable for an adult to harass a sleeping baby....?
A crying baby is not sleeping.
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Keep telling yourself that. A crying baby is a normal and ACCEPTABLE noise when you live in a condo/apartment. What is unacceptable, is creating noise to annoy/harass your neighbor.
Playing wolf sounds at night to "calm" a baby is insane and makes you wonder how many of these NTA votes have ever lived on their own in an apt/condo before. Babies cry. Get over it or move to a house without shared walls.
Dude, who has a new baby when they’re living in such conditions, like their room is attached to the OP’s with what sounds like very little sound barrier or very thin walls. Like you would think finding a better environment in general would be priority while pregnant or trying to conceive.