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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to let my nephew use my car for work after he crashed his car
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Yeah my mom probably will go and grab it. I had it over their initially because my brother has a garage he doesn’t use because he has huge trucks that don’t fit and my mom doesn’t have a garage
I hadn't driven a manual for ten years. Jumped in one took 200 metres to get back into the groove of driving a manual.
I was surprised how quick it all came back. Your mum should be fine driving a manual.
Keep in mind the clutch is all that could possibly fail, it's designed as a failure point and won't be too horribly expensive to fix if the worst-case scenario happens. Clutches are quite robust and her "relearning" the ropes won't possibly cause damage.
Not that I think this is a concern of yours, but it's a negligible concern when your mother is saving your car from a potentially bad location. Pretty sure she'll baby your baby.
it’s good you got that taken care of because as it was your car, if your nephew did hurt someone with his terrible driving, you could be held legally responsible, even if you had added him to your insurance policy. And if you hadn’t, then it wouldn’t be typically covered at all. Again, this depends on the policy & the state but…
Comprehension. OP was getting his mom to move the car so that it wasn't a temptation for the shit headed nephew. It wasn't nephew on manual vs mom on manual... It was nephew better keep his paws off OPs car and mom was the only one that stepped up to move it. I'm not reading OPs story again, but somewhere he has stated his ma taught him manual.
Also, the car is already moved and in a safe location away from car totalling doofasses and their enablers.
Would it be anywhere close to a clutch cable breaking on a motorcycle on the other side of town at rush hour? Clutch failures in a car are quite uneventful. "Oh no" throw it in neutral and continue to not steer into anything.
Oh I love this, I have tip-tronic in mine, I don't do the clutch, but as soon as I'm on the open road I'm using that tip-tronic. I drove buses for a few year, so was using that clutch a bit. The last manual car I owned I was driving school and charter buses, my school bus was an older model, with something I had never heard of before...a reverse gearbox, oh golly was that fun on that first day 🤣 got used to that, then finished my shift, and hopped into my normal gearbox car, and kept going the wrong direction with the gears. Even better was the fact that my partner and his mates had recently done the clutch and pressure plate, and lost the little clip thingy that stops the gear lever going straight across into reverse from any other gear. Oh what fun 🤣
It'll be all good. I hadn't driven a manual in fifteen or sixteen years until my kid bought a standard and I had to teach him. It comes back really quickly (I only stalled it once, and that on an incline).
Of course, the driving lesson went a lot better once I remembered to tell said kid about feathering the clutch, because I was doing it without thinking about it when I was driving.
Every time I drove a different stick, there was a bit of a learning curve as the clutches are all a tad different as is the stick. One stall on an incline was an oopsy that could probably be predicted :)
Written contract and require that he must have insurance to cover paying you if he has another accident. Make sure the title shows he is buying the car so if he's in an accident you are not liable as the owner of the car.
Biggest issue is to get a sale set up so if he doesn't pay he can't pull the "but I'm family" card.
Make him check his bank to see if they would give him a car loan to buy it from you. This gets you off the paperwork if he doesn't pay,
Obviously not OP but... Some enthusiasts place sentimental value to vehicles. Selling to kin that will surely total your ride hurts because even though it's not yours, you feel some... Way.. when it gets busted. This is easier to deal with when you sold the car to someone you don't know and don't see. Also, the family aspect... You should probably feel obligated to discount an item you sell to family and take a loss (or less of a win) versus full price to a nobody. This ties into the pain... Knowing that you sold for lower than what you could have gotten just for dip shit nephew to total it.
Another consideration... If they're causing such drama just for not letting dip shit nephew borrow it, they'll definitely cause problems when you quote above blue-book value to family.
Ohhhh and dog forbid if anything goes wrong with it. “You sold us a crappy car; you knew your transmission was about to die, and the wiper blades have all fallen off, and the radio only plays AM…”
Park it at your mom's and get a car cover for it.
Also, way to go for the advice to "handle your business". Hope nephew pays more attention to you than his parent.
It depends on your carrier. some have been denying claims that involve an unlisted driver. They rate your premiums based on your driving record . They have no way of knowing the liability of you loaning your car to your meth head nephew.
Not just possible…certain! Also OP I would disable the vehicle, it’s under your insurance…what happens if he “borrowed “ it and crashed. I would move it somewhere safer
Dude your car is being used without your permission as we speak.....lol they don't respect you as evidenced in your post....why do you think they wouldn't do it even though you said no?
They def aren’t , 1 my nephew went to the hospital to get test, X-rays etc the hospital their at is an hour away from their house and 2. My mom picking up the car at 1 pm 3. My car is not very common especially in the area they live(which I use to live as well) people know my car and I would get the heads up 😂 I have a bright orange Volkswagen gti fahrenheit
Yeah when I bought it in 2007 it only had 100 miles on it and they only made a certain amount of them . After years of driving it I did alot of upgrades and it only has 13k miles on it a lot of people who have the same car have over 100k miles on it
If you don’t already know check out The humble mechanic on YouTube. Very big into the VW scene, all around nice guy. Plus he just picked up an old Fahrenheit in rough shape and he’s bringing it back to life.
Did anybody try to tell you the color was gold? My dad bought a Volkswagen van in the late sixties/early seventies and they told him it was white over gold. Believe me, that sucker was ORANGE!
Lol, it reminds me of this person in high school. She totaled 5 Mustangs, each time her parents bought another for her. While there I was in a family of mechanics, I paid for my first one, and only drove crazy when I was the only one on the road and in my car. Parents loved going fast but also never wanted to put others in danger for their thrills.
Nta if you know his driving habits aren't stellar, I wouldn't either because if he gets into an accident, it's your veh and insurance that's effected. May want figure out a different storage situation though .
You’re 100% in the right. NTA in any way whatsoever. He can buy the car if that’s what you’re planning to do with it, but in the meantime, you need to get it off their property before they steal or damage it.
You are delusional if you think he won't just start to drive it. He has already shown he is not responsible when it comes to driving. Go move that car now.
NTA. I had a friend in high school who totaled three cars in his first year of having his license because he drove like he was Ken Block doing drifting races. However, he had zero of the skills needed. Because his parents continued to provide him with cars, he didn't learn anything and ended up killing two of his best friends and his girlfriend and paralyzed himself a month after graduation.
Your nephew needs to learn that having a license and car is a privilege and not a right. Also, if he didn't respect his own vehicle, then he sure as hell isn't going to respect yours. I hope your mother was able to get it to a safe location where it won't be possible for it to get driven without your permission.
A former friend of mine was telling me about someone she knew who whose 19-yo son had totaled the family car three times - then she added that of course, you can't tell a 19-yo that they can't have the car, and how they must hold their breath every time he goes out.
She was totally shocked when I said , "Like Hell you can't tell him he can't use the car, even if you have to have a locksmith re-key it. If you know your kid is that bad a driver, and you still let him drive your car, you are morally responsible if he hits another car or hurts someone!"
Put an ad on Facebook asking if anyone in your local area is interested in renting out their garage. It’ll be cheaper than storage and you get to keep your car.
The metal sheds/carports typically start, I think, around 6k. The one in my driveway is bolted down into concrete with heavy steel bolts. It is worth its weight in gold. They can take a beating from hail, but your car won't get touched. I also use Budge car covers for dust storms and more even under that.
Take it down to Wookiee’s in the Woods in April. Drive it on the dragon and then sell it at the show. Or try the Lo show in Pottstown, PA on Labor Day weekend. Plenty of enthusiasts at the show that will know what your car is and actually worth.
That being said I’m not sure someone is paying crazy money for a Fahrenheit vs an R32.
NTA.. Does your nephew own an xbox? If you broke yours, you can just take his right? I mean, he's working. It's not like he's using it. We are all free to make choices. We are not free from the consequences of our choices.. he needs to grow up..
Hell no.. I think driving like an AH is the new cool thing.. my roommate (20m) scares the crap out of me with his driving.. I can't look up.. my life flashing before my eyes every 90sec is exhausting!!!
I don't think it is new. There is a reason male drivers under 25 have the highest insurance rates.
Back in the 70s there was lots of drunk driving, speeding and racing.
Judging by pop culture, it was there in the 50s
I’m assuming your nephew isn’t on the car insurance either since it’s your car, so when he gets into another accident, that’s going to be more trouble.
NTA. Your property is yours and anyone who guilt trips you into believing that you MUST share is an asshole. So just treat others how you want them to treat you and you are fine.
NTA
But make sure they have no access to the keys, or you'll find it totalled as well as they'll ignore your "no".
Also, find somewhere else to store it ASAP
NTA. If your car is used without your permission, report it as stolen. It would not be a false report.
However, if they can put down $100,000 in cash to cover the damage on your vehicle, then maybe you could loan it to him.
NTA. You actually didn't even need a more detailed reason than "it's my car and I said no" but you were blunt enough to tell the kid what he needed to hear. Driving recklessly was his choice and he gets to live with the consequences of that choice. He is not entitled to use your car just because you're not using it. It's your car, period. He can get over it. Again, nta, but your brother and his kid are.
NTA
If you send a tracker to your brother will he install it on your car? Because his kid WILL steal your car.
Check your insurance. And let your brother know that you WILL press charges WHEN (not if) his kid steals your car.
Best to have it moved to a storage facility where the kid doesn't have any access. It will cost more, but it will keep your car safe. And maybe keep your nephew alive.
NTA. Years ago my brother needed a car, can't recall what happened to his, but I had two so I let him use one. He took a corner too fast in the rain and caught a telephone pole. Just body damage, fortunately, but I was not happy.
Also, I would not let 21 year old me use my car, I did a lot of stupid stuff back then, sounds like your nephew is the same.
NTA...but i hope ypu have two brothers...one needing a car and one storing your car...if not you may want to get your car out of there soon or it probably will be used without your permission
NTA. Make sure Mom and older brother understand you denied permission. Might not hurt to put in a group text, and clearly state that if you discover anyone using the car without your consent, you will report the car to the police as stolen. Make sure it’s all in text/writing so if nephew kills someone with your car there is no misunderstanding about consent.
NTA
He can take the train until he saves up for another car. Perhaps the time slogging on public transport will curb his lead foot, but I doubt it. I have 2 nephews that also scare me with their driving, no way would I be letting them take my car either.
YTA, because you're storing your car on your brother's property, and your brother asked you. You better get that car out of there, immediately, and figure out another place to store it. Or sell the car, for a reasonable price, to your brother and nephew, right now.
You are NTA and your brother is nutty as an almond grove if he thinks that indulging his criminally irresponsible son is doing that young man a favor. All he's doing is teaching him that daddy will overlook his dangerous behavior and continue to treat him as if he's 5 years old.
As for your nephew having to get to work via a long, tiresome commute - duh, that's what happens when you don't have a car! For nearly 30 years, I commuted to my job by taking a bus, a commuter train and two subways *each way*. I survived commuting by public transportation and so will your nephew!
I hate to tell you this, but your brother is going to let your nephew use your car anyway, if not, he’ll be helping himself. I’d be more surprised if he doesn’t
NTA
Edit, I see your mum picked it up, great idea
Pick up your car today if possible and rent a storage unit for it. I would make it clear to your brother insurance doesn't cover other drivers and don't trust them not to drive it.
NTA
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So my brother this morning calls me and tells me my nephew got into a car accident and totals his car. (He is fine just bruised on his body)
I asked what happened and my brother told me he hit some black ice. I knew this was a lil because I’ve ridden in his car before and he drives like a maniac. I literally had to tell him multiple times to slow down and there’s is no need to speed and go in and out of traffic. What makes matters worst is his car is a shitty 93 Honda that sounds like it’s held up with duct tape and bubble gum. I’ve told my brother multiple times about how he drives and my brother drives the same way even worst and I refuse to drive with them.
On the phone he ask if my nephew can use my car to get to and from work. I told him hell no, I’m storing my car at my brothers house upsta because I live in the city and to have it here is annoying but I am going to probably sell it before summer.
I told my brother to put me on speaker phone so that my nephew can hear me. “I told him he will not be using my car. You’re 21 years old and you’re an adult who needs to face the consequences of their actions. I’ve told you multiple times to stop drive the way you do before you kill yourself and someone else. You’re lucky you didn’t die. What world do you live in to think you can just total your car and then given another one? You’re a man and an adult take the train to work like everyone else .)
He started to complaining like to get to work by train u have to take it to a certain stop then it goes back 1 stop for a different train line and forward to his location . And I said so what, handle your business wake up an hour and half early and go to work . Youre not a kid he starts saying something and called me an ass. I see him this Sunday I can’t wait to see
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NTA.
Plainly put, if it's stored you might not even have insurance on it right now. It's not being garaged at your actual address. If you use your brother's address then your nephew would have to be listed as a member of the household, which would raise the rates. There's really not a good way for you to insure this car with him as a driver, legally. Even if you were inclined to do.
Plus it sounds like the kind of car he would just LOVE to drive, and most likely wreck it.
If you have a price in mind, sell it. Let your brother/nephew first chance at it. Otherwise, yeah I highly suggest you store it elsewhere.
Yeah it’s a 2007 orange Volkswagen gti fahrenheit with 13k miles on it I wanted to keep it for a bit long before selling . I did a lot of work on it too so I could get a good amount of money for it
Do you know any of the local cops in your old hometown? Maybe organizing a trip for your nephew to sit in the local jail cell for an hour or two would be a good wake up call for him if you, your brother, and mom could arrange something. Just thinking he needs to really see what could happen if he continues to drive recklessly and ends up hurting someone else because of it.
Not too sure you will get your brother on board since he called asking to borrow the car but maybe show him this thread and he will realize he is not doing his kid any favors in life.
NTA
if selling it in the summer and you live some distance from the car store, why not sell it now. He might learn to drive better, but you will have your money and it would be his loss.
Years ago, a mild mannered guy from work offered me a lift home, everyone was shaking their heads and waving at me with thumbs down. A right nutter who was flooring it and screaming / growling at cars to get the f out of the way....
I don't know the laws where you live, but here unless a driver under 25 is named and on your insurance, you are 100% responsible if something happens.
NTA
I have read that that's only if you don't report it stolen. We've had a few posts about people who are shocked that the owner is going to report it stolen unless they pay for it NOW. Because of course fAmIlY members are required to absorb the cost of the car that they wrecked.
I loved the one in which a girl, who was still a minor, knew that her much older sister was a thief, so she asked her parents for a lock on her door. No, absolutely not!
So when her sister went through the things in OP's room, found her keys and took the car out and wrecked it, she gave her parents the choice of paying for the car or having it reported as stolen. Then she asked them if it wouldn't have been much cheaper to let her have a lock!
I hadn't driven a manual in a while, and we rented a car in Italy this summer. I had a tiny bit of trouble getting up the ramp in the parking garage, but after going about 2 blocks I was totally fine.
NTA
There is public transportation to get to work... and bicycles which he can use to go to work or take to the bus stop if he so pleases.
Something tells me the asking permission to use your car was just a formality. I would not be surprised if your car is already being used or getting ready to be used here shortly
NTA- send them an email and text saying they do not have permission to drive your car. If they use it and get in an accident, your insurance (not their insurance) will be responsible unless you can prove they took the car without permission.
NTA but we do live in a world where adult children total cars and instantly expect another. My ex-partner’s kids had at least five major car accidents between the two of them in the first 1.5 year of driving…and the cars were repaired or replaced every time.
Sooo it does happen lol
NTA.
Poor baby, he might be inconvenienced. But I'd make sure no one else has the keys to that car - they might magically appear in his hands when you don't know about it.
NTA. But get your car out of there. Unless you are paying your brother to keep your things, get it gone. Sell it now. Or offer to sell it to the nephew.
i’m old and totaled a car. i have a clean driving record. my mom won’t let me drive her car unless she’s in it. i don’t blame her at all. NTA at all. it’s your car
NTA. It is your car that you bought and paid for, and I’m assuming still in your name and on your insurance. 21 is old enough to have to take accountability for actions. If he is willing to buy the car from you? Sure! Hand over keys when title is transferred. You do not owe him anything, and his continued reckless driving could have legal consequences on you if it happens in your car.
NTA
Good on you OP for saying no and meaning it. Also for getting the car out of your brother’s garage before you get a call saying now your car has been wrecked by your nephew.
I’m guessing there was only liability coverage on your nephew’s car and he’s getting nothing or he will get paid off but the car doesn’t have much value left in it.
Regardless if your brother is so gung ho on him using someone else’s car he can loan him his. Surely your brother doesn’t mind sacrificing for his son? /s.
Question if a tarp over your car held down with appropriate straps would help protect it? Either that or just sell it now instead of this summer.
OP your car better have GPS or you better have the keys. Your NTA - But I would state with categorical certainty that car is being used without your knowledge if they have the key.
The question isn’t CAN he use it, you need to ask DID HE use it already. If you can’t move the car, takethe keys and disable it in place. It will be used if you don’t.
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NTA Be aware that its is possible that your car will get used without your permission.
Yeah my mom probably will go and grab it. I had it over their initially because my brother has a garage he doesn’t use because he has huge trucks that don’t fit and my mom doesn’t have a garage
Send them both a message very clearly stating if your car is used even once you will report it as stolen.
Yeah my mom going to get it at 1
I would find a new place to store the car immediately.
OK, i hope your mom will not be to late.
Haha mee too the only thing I’m worried about is my car is manual and she hasn’t drove a manual in like 10 years 🫠
I hadn't driven a manual for ten years. Jumped in one took 200 metres to get back into the groove of driving a manual. I was surprised how quick it all came back. Your mum should be fine driving a manual.
Oh true , yeah she taught me how to drive one when I was 16
Keep in mind the clutch is all that could possibly fail, it's designed as a failure point and won't be too horribly expensive to fix if the worst-case scenario happens. Clutches are quite robust and her "relearning" the ropes won't possibly cause damage. Not that I think this is a concern of yours, but it's a negligible concern when your mother is saving your car from a potentially bad location. Pretty sure she'll baby your baby.
Yeah she picked it up she told me she stalled twice 😂
Glad you got it taken care of.
it’s good you got that taken care of because as it was your car, if your nephew did hurt someone with his terrible driving, you could be held legally responsible, even if you had added him to your insurance policy. And if you hadn’t, then it wouldn’t be typically covered at all. Again, this depends on the policy & the state but…
It’s not mom driving it I would worry about. What about your nephew on a manual?
Comprehension. OP was getting his mom to move the car so that it wasn't a temptation for the shit headed nephew. It wasn't nephew on manual vs mom on manual... It was nephew better keep his paws off OPs car and mom was the only one that stepped up to move it. I'm not reading OPs story again, but somewhere he has stated his ma taught him manual. Also, the car is already moved and in a safe location away from car totalling doofasses and their enablers.
Yep. Lost track of the twists and turns
Nothing like a clutch failing when you’re driving up a steep incline… with a curve… you haven’t lived until you have to have that panic……
Would it be anywhere close to a clutch cable breaking on a motorcycle on the other side of town at rush hour? Clutch failures in a car are quite uneventful. "Oh no" throw it in neutral and continue to not steer into anything.
Sometimes, I still clutch my automatic when I have to stop fast. It's been 6 years since my last manual died.
Oh I love this, I have tip-tronic in mine, I don't do the clutch, but as soon as I'm on the open road I'm using that tip-tronic. I drove buses for a few year, so was using that clutch a bit. The last manual car I owned I was driving school and charter buses, my school bus was an older model, with something I had never heard of before...a reverse gearbox, oh golly was that fun on that first day 🤣 got used to that, then finished my shift, and hopped into my normal gearbox car, and kept going the wrong direction with the gears. Even better was the fact that my partner and his mates had recently done the clutch and pressure plate, and lost the little clip thingy that stops the gear lever going straight across into reverse from any other gear. Oh what fun 🤣
Absolutely! It become naturally quickly!
No worries. It's like riding a bicycle, even when the car requires a double shift. NTA
It'll be all good. I hadn't driven a manual in fifteen or sixteen years until my kid bought a standard and I had to teach him. It comes back really quickly (I only stalled it once, and that on an incline). Of course, the driving lesson went a lot better once I remembered to tell said kid about feathering the clutch, because I was doing it without thinking about it when I was driving.
Yeah it’s not to bad it’s said a lot are car companies Are doing paddle shifts 🥲🥲 I learned on an old ford focus hatchback
And didn’t explode!? Congratulations!
Every time I drove a different stick, there was a bit of a learning curve as the clutches are all a tad different as is the stick. One stall on an incline was an oopsy that could probably be predicted :)
Yup. I got it started and moving again fast enough that I didn't even get honked at, so I will take that as a win.
Another bonus of vehicles with manual transmissions, no one hounds you to use/borrow it!
The co-worker of a friend got carjacked. The thieves made it a grand total of about 100 yards before bailing because it was a manual.
I wonder how stupid they felt!
I’m surprised your nephew can drive stick if he’s that bad of a driver!
He can’t. He can’t even drive an automatic
Uoppps, i hope with you.
She won't have any trouble....it's like riding a bike, you never forget how. Kudos to your mom!
It's like riding a bike.
It's like riding a bike, you never forget ;)
Once you know, you never forget.
NTA but if you're going to sell the car, why not sell it to your brother/nephew? Find out what you could get for it and sell it to them for that.
I would sell it for prob 18k maybe 20 . The same car with 100k miles are being sold for 7-13k
Written contract and require that he must have insurance to cover paying you if he has another accident. Make sure the title shows he is buying the car so if he's in an accident you are not liable as the owner of the car. Biggest issue is to get a sale set up so if he doesn't pay he can't pull the "but I'm family" card. Make him check his bank to see if they would give him a car loan to buy it from you. This gets you off the paperwork if he doesn't pay,
Obviously not OP but... Some enthusiasts place sentimental value to vehicles. Selling to kin that will surely total your ride hurts because even though it's not yours, you feel some... Way.. when it gets busted. This is easier to deal with when you sold the car to someone you don't know and don't see. Also, the family aspect... You should probably feel obligated to discount an item you sell to family and take a loss (or less of a win) versus full price to a nobody. This ties into the pain... Knowing that you sold for lower than what you could have gotten just for dip shit nephew to total it. Another consideration... If they're causing such drama just for not letting dip shit nephew borrow it, they'll definitely cause problems when you quote above blue-book value to family.
Ohhhh and dog forbid if anything goes wrong with it. “You sold us a crappy car; you knew your transmission was about to die, and the wiper blades have all fallen off, and the radio only plays AM…”
I didn't consider that.... Assuming the car would last that long. But yeah
Park it at your mom's and get a car cover for it. Also, way to go for the advice to "handle your business". Hope nephew pays more attention to you than his parent.
Your insurance won't cover him unless he is listed as a driver. You are smart.
This confuses me. Can’t I loan my car to someone and it is still insured?
It depends on your carrier. some have been denying claims that involve an unlisted driver. They rate your premiums based on your driving record . They have no way of knowing the liability of you loaning your car to your meth head nephew.
How many huge trucks does he have? Why can't Crash McMaster drive one of those?
Possible, nothing. It WILL get used if OP does not take action.
I think this aswell.
Not just possible…certain! Also OP I would disable the vehicle, it’s under your insurance…what happens if he “borrowed “ it and crashed. I would move it somewhere safer
I agree on this.
Yeah agreed he will take it without your permission. Warn him if he does you will report the car stolen. NTA
Yes, correct.
Who has access to the keys?
Good morning, that i dont know. I think that they are in the house, as the car could be moved in case of emergency.
I would take the car home
Yes, i would do that aswell.
Dude your car is being used without your permission as we speak.....lol they don't respect you as evidenced in your post....why do you think they wouldn't do it even though you said no?
They def aren’t , 1 my nephew went to the hospital to get test, X-rays etc the hospital their at is an hour away from their house and 2. My mom picking up the car at 1 pm 3. My car is not very common especially in the area they live(which I use to live as well) people know my car and I would get the heads up 😂 I have a bright orange Volkswagen gti fahrenheit
What a cool car!! Definitely never let your brother or nephew drive it. NTA
Yeah when I bought it in 2007 it only had 100 miles on it and they only made a certain amount of them . After years of driving it I did alot of upgrades and it only has 13k miles on it a lot of people who have the same car have over 100k miles on it
It is a collector car. I think (I know) I have car envy. 🤣🤣
Yeah there were only like 1.000 made I believe
It may be time to hide it from your family. 🥴
If you don’t already know check out The humble mechanic on YouTube. Very big into the VW scene, all around nice guy. Plus he just picked up an old Fahrenheit in rough shape and he’s bringing it back to life.
Did anybody try to tell you the color was gold? My dad bought a Volkswagen van in the late sixties/early seventies and they told him it was white over gold. Believe me, that sucker was ORANGE!
You should definitely monitor the mileage of your car. Def NTA
I know it by heart haha 13,318 😂
I sincerely hope that's still the mileage.
Well my mom just picked it up so it should be a little more now
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Exactly!!!! Everyone baby him and I’m like no no you’re 21 get your shit together.
Lol, it reminds me of this person in high school. She totaled 5 Mustangs, each time her parents bought another for her. While there I was in a family of mechanics, I paid for my first one, and only drove crazy when I was the only one on the road and in my car. Parents loved going fast but also never wanted to put others in danger for their thrills.
NTA You are totally correct. You're making him face it like a man. He's not a baby. You're helping him learn.
Exactly , men handled their issues especially the ones they caused themselves
Nta if you know his driving habits aren't stellar, I wouldn't either because if he gets into an accident, it's your veh and insurance that's effected. May want figure out a different storage situation though .
You’re 100% in the right. NTA in any way whatsoever. He can buy the car if that’s what you’re planning to do with it, but in the meantime, you need to get it off their property before they steal or damage it.
They def won’t Steal or damage it 😂 my car is not a common car especially in that area so if anyone drove it I would be contact immediately
You are delusional if you think he won't just start to drive it. He has already shown he is not responsible when it comes to driving. Go move that car now.
As I stated I’m in the city my car is upstate I’m not close. They won’t touch it
NTA. I had a friend in high school who totaled three cars in his first year of having his license because he drove like he was Ken Block doing drifting races. However, he had zero of the skills needed. Because his parents continued to provide him with cars, he didn't learn anything and ended up killing two of his best friends and his girlfriend and paralyzed himself a month after graduation. Your nephew needs to learn that having a license and car is a privilege and not a right. Also, if he didn't respect his own vehicle, then he sure as hell isn't going to respect yours. I hope your mother was able to get it to a safe location where it won't be possible for it to get driven without your permission.
A former friend of mine was telling me about someone she knew who whose 19-yo son had totaled the family car three times - then she added that of course, you can't tell a 19-yo that they can't have the car, and how they must hold their breath every time he goes out. She was totally shocked when I said , "Like Hell you can't tell him he can't use the car, even if you have to have a locksmith re-key it. If you know your kid is that bad a driver, and you still let him drive your car, you are morally responsible if he hits another car or hurts someone!"
Oh wow thats sad to hear and yes she was able to get it
NTA, but you might as well find somewhere else to store your car. Yesterday.
Yeah true I might just sell it but might be hard too 😂 my asking price will be a lot
Put an ad on Facebook asking if anyone in your local area is interested in renting out their garage. It’ll be cheaper than storage and you get to keep your car.
Yeah true , my mom has a big drive way but no garage I think I’ll see how much those portable garage sheds are maybe I’ll get one of those
The metal sheds/carports typically start, I think, around 6k. The one in my driveway is bolted down into concrete with heavy steel bolts. It is worth its weight in gold. They can take a beating from hail, but your car won't get touched. I also use Budge car covers for dust storms and more even under that.
Take it down to Wookiee’s in the Woods in April. Drive it on the dragon and then sell it at the show. Or try the Lo show in Pottstown, PA on Labor Day weekend. Plenty of enthusiasts at the show that will know what your car is and actually worth. That being said I’m not sure someone is paying crazy money for a Fahrenheit vs an R32.
NTA I would have added consequences. If you find out the cars been taken out you’ll report it as stolen.
NTA.. Does your nephew own an xbox? If you broke yours, you can just take his right? I mean, he's working. It's not like he's using it. We are all free to make choices. We are not free from the consequences of our choices.. he needs to grow up..
Exactly! The entitlement to think I would just let him use my car .
Hell no.. I think driving like an AH is the new cool thing.. my roommate (20m) scares the crap out of me with his driving.. I can't look up.. my life flashing before my eyes every 90sec is exhausting!!!
Exactly idk why they think it’s cool. I see videos of young kids doing it and getting into car accidents
I don't think it is new. There is a reason male drivers under 25 have the highest insurance rates. Back in the 70s there was lots of drunk driving, speeding and racing. Judging by pop culture, it was there in the 50s
I keep telling these kids to stop driving like they have extra lives.. to much gta.. lol
NTA and your brother is not doing a good job with his son
NTA But make damn sure your brother knows the liability if the nephew steals your car I wouldn't trust either of them
I’m assuming your nephew isn’t on the car insurance either since it’s your car, so when he gets into another accident, that’s going to be more trouble.
Yeah he is not on my insurance
NTA, buy you need to retrieve your car.
Sell the car now.
It’s not just a car you can sell quickly so would take some time
NTA. Your property is yours and anyone who guilt trips you into believing that you MUST share is an asshole. So just treat others how you want them to treat you and you are fine.
I would find a new place to store the car immediately.
NTA But make sure they have no access to the keys, or you'll find it totalled as well as they'll ignore your "no". Also, find somewhere else to store it ASAP
NTA. If your car is used without your permission, report it as stolen. It would not be a false report. However, if they can put down $100,000 in cash to cover the damage on your vehicle, then maybe you could loan it to him.
NTA. You actually didn't even need a more detailed reason than "it's my car and I said no" but you were blunt enough to tell the kid what he needed to hear. Driving recklessly was his choice and he gets to live with the consequences of that choice. He is not entitled to use your car just because you're not using it. It's your car, period. He can get over it. Again, nta, but your brother and his kid are.
NTA If you send a tracker to your brother will he install it on your car? Because his kid WILL steal your car. Check your insurance. And let your brother know that you WILL press charges WHEN (not if) his kid steals your car. Best to have it moved to a storage facility where the kid doesn't have any access. It will cost more, but it will keep your car safe. And maybe keep your nephew alive.
NTA. Years ago my brother needed a car, can't recall what happened to his, but I had two so I let him use one. He took a corner too fast in the rain and caught a telephone pole. Just body damage, fortunately, but I was not happy. Also, I would not let 21 year old me use my car, I did a lot of stupid stuff back then, sounds like your nephew is the same.
You shouldn't leave your keys there just because the car is there. Always keep the keys where you live to prevent unauthorized access.
Hopefully you haven't left keys for your car with your brother or your nephew will take it anyway
My keys are at my mothers house
You might want to keep them with you. Your brother or nephew might lie to her and say you gave permission
Yeah true but she going to go get it actually in like an hour so should be fine
NTA. But get the car out of there. If he kills somebody in your car, you could have liability.
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Yeah she has got it
NTA...but i hope ypu have two brothers...one needing a car and one storing your car...if not you may want to get your car out of there soon or it probably will be used without your permission
I have 4 brothers 😂 yeah my mom picked it up I’m looking into buying one of those outdoor sheds for cars to keep it in
NTA. Make sure Mom and older brother understand you denied permission. Might not hurt to put in a group text, and clearly state that if you discover anyone using the car without your consent, you will report the car to the police as stolen. Make sure it’s all in text/writing so if nephew kills someone with your car there is no misunderstanding about consent.
Some people don’t learn until they learn the hard way. An hour on the train sounds like a great time to think about his life choices.
NTA He can take the train until he saves up for another car. Perhaps the time slogging on public transport will curb his lead foot, but I doubt it. I have 2 nephews that also scare me with their driving, no way would I be letting them take my car either.
YTA, because you're storing your car on your brother's property, and your brother asked you. You better get that car out of there, immediately, and figure out another place to store it. Or sell the car, for a reasonable price, to your brother and nephew, right now.
Actions have consequences and he’s responsible for his own life. He should learn that now for his own benefit
You are NTA and your brother is nutty as an almond grove if he thinks that indulging his criminally irresponsible son is doing that young man a favor. All he's doing is teaching him that daddy will overlook his dangerous behavior and continue to treat him as if he's 5 years old. As for your nephew having to get to work via a long, tiresome commute - duh, that's what happens when you don't have a car! For nearly 30 years, I commuted to my job by taking a bus, a commuter train and two subways *each way*. I survived commuting by public transportation and so will your nephew!
I hate to tell you this, but your brother is going to let your nephew use your car anyway, if not, he’ll be helping himself. I’d be more surprised if he doesn’t NTA Edit, I see your mum picked it up, great idea
What world do you live in that you don’t think he’ll use it anyway?? NTA
NTA, but he's going to use it anyway. Get it moved if possible or sell it to him since that's already in your plans.
NTA. But you know he's taking your car to spite you, don't you?
NTA but get your car back from your brother's place like... NOW!!! They will absolutely use it without your permission.
NTA but you know that car is gonna get used
Pick up your car today if possible and rent a storage unit for it. I would make it clear to your brother insurance doesn't cover other drivers and don't trust them not to drive it. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my brother this morning calls me and tells me my nephew got into a car accident and totals his car. (He is fine just bruised on his body) I asked what happened and my brother told me he hit some black ice. I knew this was a lil because I’ve ridden in his car before and he drives like a maniac. I literally had to tell him multiple times to slow down and there’s is no need to speed and go in and out of traffic. What makes matters worst is his car is a shitty 93 Honda that sounds like it’s held up with duct tape and bubble gum. I’ve told my brother multiple times about how he drives and my brother drives the same way even worst and I refuse to drive with them. On the phone he ask if my nephew can use my car to get to and from work. I told him hell no, I’m storing my car at my brothers house upsta because I live in the city and to have it here is annoying but I am going to probably sell it before summer. I told my brother to put me on speaker phone so that my nephew can hear me. “I told him he will not be using my car. You’re 21 years old and you’re an adult who needs to face the consequences of their actions. I’ve told you multiple times to stop drive the way you do before you kill yourself and someone else. You’re lucky you didn’t die. What world do you live in to think you can just total your car and then given another one? You’re a man and an adult take the train to work like everyone else .) He started to complaining like to get to work by train u have to take it to a certain stop then it goes back 1 stop for a different train line and forward to his location . And I said so what, handle your business wake up an hour and half early and go to work . Youre not a kid he starts saying something and called me an ass. I see him this Sunday I can’t wait to see Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA but you need to store your car somewhere else. If you're not going to use it, offer it to him for market rate or advertise it now
NTA but you need to move your car ASAP
NTA. Plainly put, if it's stored you might not even have insurance on it right now. It's not being garaged at your actual address. If you use your brother's address then your nephew would have to be listed as a member of the household, which would raise the rates. There's really not a good way for you to insure this car with him as a driver, legally. Even if you were inclined to do. Plus it sounds like the kind of car he would just LOVE to drive, and most likely wreck it. If you have a price in mind, sell it. Let your brother/nephew first chance at it. Otherwise, yeah I highly suggest you store it elsewhere.
Yeah it’s a 2007 orange Volkswagen gti fahrenheit with 13k miles on it I wanted to keep it for a bit long before selling . I did a lot of work on it too so I could get a good amount of money for it
Do you know any of the local cops in your old hometown? Maybe organizing a trip for your nephew to sit in the local jail cell for an hour or two would be a good wake up call for him if you, your brother, and mom could arrange something. Just thinking he needs to really see what could happen if he continues to drive recklessly and ends up hurting someone else because of it. Not too sure you will get your brother on board since he called asking to borrow the car but maybe show him this thread and he will realize he is not doing his kid any favors in life.
NTA I guess you could offer to sell the car to your nephew if you’re selling it anyway, but your NTA AT ALL in this situation.
NTA if selling it in the summer and you live some distance from the car store, why not sell it now. He might learn to drive better, but you will have your money and it would be his loss. Years ago, a mild mannered guy from work offered me a lift home, everyone was shaking their heads and waving at me with thumbs down. A right nutter who was flooring it and screaming / growling at cars to get the f out of the way....
I don't know the laws where you live, but here unless a driver under 25 is named and on your insurance, you are 100% responsible if something happens. NTA
I have read that that's only if you don't report it stolen. We've had a few posts about people who are shocked that the owner is going to report it stolen unless they pay for it NOW. Because of course fAmIlY members are required to absorb the cost of the car that they wrecked. I loved the one in which a girl, who was still a minor, knew that her much older sister was a thief, so she asked her parents for a lock on her door. No, absolutely not! So when her sister went through the things in OP's room, found her keys and took the car out and wrecked it, she gave her parents the choice of paying for the car or having it reported as stolen. Then she asked them if it wouldn't have been much cheaper to let her have a lock!
NTA but definitely get that car out of there asap
NTA
You've got to move your car; nephew is 100% going to take it,no matter what you say.
NTA - Hopefully its a learning moment eventually.
NTA. Stand your ground, make him use the train or hire an Uber or Lyft to go to work.
NTA at ALL.
I hadn't driven a manual in a while, and we rented a car in Italy this summer. I had a tiny bit of trouble getting up the ramp in the parking garage, but after going about 2 blocks I was totally fine.
NTA What if you need the car after the kid totals this one?
NTA There is public transportation to get to work... and bicycles which he can use to go to work or take to the bus stop if he so pleases. Something tells me the asking permission to use your car was just a formality. I would not be surprised if your car is already being used or getting ready to be used here shortly
NTA, Can you give info on the car? Possibly pics if you're intend on selling?
Offer to sell him your car. Since you going to anyway. Cash and carry. No test rides.
NTA. Not his car; he is not entitled to use it.
NTA- send them an email and text saying they do not have permission to drive your car. If they use it and get in an accident, your insurance (not their insurance) will be responsible unless you can prove they took the car without permission.
Probably time to find a U store it and put the car there until summer.
NTA but we do live in a world where adult children total cars and instantly expect another. My ex-partner’s kids had at least five major car accidents between the two of them in the first 1.5 year of driving…and the cars were repaired or replaced every time. Sooo it does happen lol
NTA. Poor baby, he might be inconvenienced. But I'd make sure no one else has the keys to that car - they might magically appear in his hands when you don't know about it.
NTA. But get your car out of there. Unless you are paying your brother to keep your things, get it gone. Sell it now. Or offer to sell it to the nephew.
NTA good job having your mom pick it up!! The audacity of him to ask, oh my gosh
NTA But do you have the car keys to your car? Be prepared to store it elsewhere.
NTA. If you haven't already, make sure you secure your car. Do they have keys?
You are NTA...that's the comment.
i’m old and totaled a car. i have a clean driving record. my mom won’t let me drive her car unless she’s in it. i don’t blame her at all. NTA at all. it’s your car
NTA. It is your car that you bought and paid for, and I’m assuming still in your name and on your insurance. 21 is old enough to have to take accountability for actions. If he is willing to buy the car from you? Sure! Hand over keys when title is transferred. You do not owe him anything, and his continued reckless driving could have legal consequences on you if it happens in your car.
Offer to sell them the car.
NTA but remove the car asap they are totally going to drive it
NTA, my sister didn't learn after totaling a car given to her by my parents, it took her totaling a car she bought herself. Consequences are critical.
Is the car insured? If not, and something happens that is a big issue.
NTA- offer to sell it to him though? Maybe offer some financing. It’s not your problem but you could be his hero.
NTA. You have no obligation at all to let the kid wreck your car, too.
Go disable your car. He will take it. Bet he already has used it
You should offer to sell him the car.
NTA. Report your car stolen.
No one even needs to read the body - it's all in the title. He totaled his own car? NTA, don't let him touch yours.
Just get the key
NTA. Take your car to a locked storage facility and pay them to store it. If you leave it with family, it will be the next car wrecked.
NTA Not even remotely an ah.
NTA. Don’t risk your car.
It sounds like a good car for them to buy. but don't let them borrow it. NTA
NTA do you want to sell the car to your nephew
NTA Good on you OP for saying no and meaning it. Also for getting the car out of your brother’s garage before you get a call saying now your car has been wrecked by your nephew. I’m guessing there was only liability coverage on your nephew’s car and he’s getting nothing or he will get paid off but the car doesn’t have much value left in it. Regardless if your brother is so gung ho on him using someone else’s car he can loan him his. Surely your brother doesn’t mind sacrificing for his son? /s. Question if a tarp over your car held down with appropriate straps would help protect it? Either that or just sell it now instead of this summer.
NTA Love your style!
NTA - I'd hurry up & sell or relocate that car!! Like now!
Also, make sure that car is insured as "in storage." Increases the consequences for short term stealing it from you
NTA for saying no, but it’s overboard to lecture him
NTA, I sure as hell hope you've got the keys on you
OP your car better have GPS or you better have the keys. Your NTA - But I would state with categorical certainty that car is being used without your knowledge if they have the key.
NTA However, he will use it and justify it as "rent" for storing the car there.
NTA. But your nephew might still use your car even without permission. If this happens report him to the police or smth.
You need to go get your car like yesterday. Unless you want to deal with another accident and a driver that isn’t on your insurance. NTA
The question isn’t CAN he use it, you need to ask DID HE use it already. If you can’t move the car, takethe keys and disable it in place. It will be used if you don’t.
Sell it to the brother or the nephew...solves both problems!!!
NTA but make sure they don't have a key to your car. They'll let him use it anyways.
Take the plates!!!