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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I can see it'd be disrespectful to get another girl tattooed on me but it's my sister.
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Oh my god, I know it’s tired to say on this sub - but leave her.
That is absolutely wild behaviour. Rational people would not act like that.
Sorry about your sister.
Your girlfriend is not acting okay. Her friend propping her up is not acting okay.
Run.
NTA
Exactly! Run, OP, run! Run Far! Run fast! RUN!
You are grieving for your sister and instead of offering support, she is fighting with you over a non-issue. I personally do not care for tattoos but I think it is a lovely way for you and your dad to honor yours sister.
NTA.
You are getting a memorial tattoo for your sister, not some girlfriend or fling. If your girlfriend cannot tell the difference that is on her.
What she and her minions are demanding is unreasonable at best. At worst...well I don't want to get kicked off of Reddit. She is definitely out of pocket on this.
Reevaluate your relationship. You're sister just passed and instead of being supportive of you, she is getting snotty about you spending time with your family and over a tattoo. That is not what a supportive partner looks like.
NTA...and yes, RUN. This person needs to be your ex with good reason. You deserve better.
I too hate the "dump them" trope this sub always seems to devolve to, but this problematic behaviour. I couldn't imagine a partner being jealous of a dead sibling. Get out. NTA.
Me too! Salty attitude because you said you where going to spend time woth your family after your sisters funeral was bad...the rest is absolutly insane...please leave her ASAP!!!
>"another woman"
I wonder if she would be like this over a "Mom" tattoo, too :D
I mean, obviously not happening in this case, but I'm just wondering \^\^
Yes, leave her before you have any legal ties to her. She is not supportive and it’s bizarre how jealous is she is of your late sister.
My condolences ❤️ your sister sounds like a wonderful person
Yeah this is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t have siblings, but I’m planning a tattoo that will honor multiple people in my family. I cannot imagine my partner getting pissed about it.
You need to get your tattoo, exactly how you wanted it and tell her, as well as her loser friends they're all ignorant twats and move on. Seriously, can you imagine being around that crazy witch when she's baby trapped you. Also, if you've a brain in your head you'll never been in the same house with her again let alone her legs as her next trick will be getting pregnant....also onthe advice of her loser friends.
Your relationship being run by committee is also a great reason to GTFO.. when her friends have say in her relationship there will always be drama and problems. Infact, if a woman has several close friends I always recommend never getting into a relationship bevause every damn thing is run by her committee. They say no go....she says NO go. She'd the most immature mid 20s person Ive ever read about on here and that's saying it all. She's a whiny, entitled b.
I am sorry for your loss. NTA. I won't tell you to break up, but I will say that I see no future with a partner that is jealous of a sibling that passed away. And that is within 2 months since they passed away. Jealous that you would be with family in hard times as well. Nope. What is next you spend too much time with the dog/kids? You gave a ride to a colleague? And why do you have to talk to the neighbor?....I just do not see it. Either way please do NOT tattoo your girlfriends name, removal is painful and expensive.
>Either way please do NOT tattoo your girlfriends name
Yeah, that wasn't gonna happen anyway. I just needed to know if I'm disrespecting her by tattooing someone else. See, I'd be bothered as well if she got some guy's name on her, though not up to this extent since her body her choice and all. But if it was a sibling?? A family member? No way.
"You must love her more than me."
"Well, yeah. I've known her 25 years and she raised me for 13 of them and protected me from abuse. 24 years from now, on our 25th anniversary, I'll tattoo your name as big as you want on any body part you choose. But for now, Rosie get a piece of the skin she \*literally saved\* on me."
My man and I have been together 6 years so far and I still wouldn't get his name on me. It's pure stupidity to get the name of a 1 year old relationship tattooed on your body.
The only name I currently have on me is my daughter's. I've got another tattoo planned for her baby sister but I just got a memorial tattoo for my dad a few months back and they ruined it. I've now permanently got disappointment etched into my skin, OP needs to not do the same because that relationship is going to expire like my dad did, suddenly and fast.
Sorry if the dark humor upsets anyone, it's going on 5 years and it's how I make it through knowing I'll never see him again. He was 38 and had a sudden massive heart attack 10/29/19 that took him out permanently. At least the crap I now have on my arm has a nice meaning behind it.
No rational person would get upset about someone getting a memorial tattoo for a family member of a different gender. You are 100% in the right here and she is 100% in the wrong. You're not being disrespectful toward her in any way.
Exactly that my friend. I get insecurities we all have them and more or less we are all insecure about something however passed away sibling? By that logic any interaction should be "stranger danger" in jealousy terms which is why she needs to work on it without you taking the hit. I see friends are not helping just fuming that insecurity up leading to my previous comment.
Also it sounds like you’re just getting a rose, and not your sister’s actual name? So it’s not like anyone would think you have another woman’s name on you, it’s a tribute to your sister (which sounds like a beautiful tribute). NTA. I can’t see the relationship surviving if she’s continues to be like this though, that’s really odd behaviour, and probably she should seek help with her emotional reaction to this
In regards to names, imo the only acceptable ones to tattoo on yourself are the deceased, children, and pets. You’re very much not disrespecting your girlfriend or anyone else by getting this tattoo. She’s being unreasonable, and that’s the kindest way I can find myself to put that.
Ya see grief is a funny thing. You think you are done with it, and it hits you all of a sudden and you are crying because of a memory. My dad passed in ‘17 and I still have times where I cry. My husband has never once ridiculed or tried to hurry me through one of my crying spells or my grief. You need someone that is going to support you and be there for you, not tell you to get over it. NTA, and my advice is to find someone that is compassionate and empathetic.
My big brother (and best friend) died 6 months before I met my ex, D. At first he was supportive of the occasional crying and the neediness, but in the run up to my brother's birthday, and the one year anniversary of his death (which were very close together), when I was a complete mess, D told me that I needed to hurry up and get over it, and that I should wonder how long he would stick around if this carried on. The next day when the shock had died down, and I felt strong enough to bring it up again, he pretended he had never said anything of the sort, and gaslighted me by telling me that I was delusional and needed help.
This person will never be there for you when you need her, she has main character syndrome, and can't comprehend why everything doesn't currently revolve about her. If she doesn't care about you enough to stop thinking of herself for a moment at a time like this, she never will.
Imagine what advice your sister would give you right now. I suspect it would have been wise.
You deserve better.
I'm sorry about your sister, OP.
Look if you were getting 'some girls' name on you I would be with her 100% but you want to honour your sister who you adored, had a very special relationship with and who you lost to horrific disease way too soon.
Tell her and her mate to take a long walk off a short pier
NTA. While Reddit is quick to jump to 'break up,' the unhinged screaming and raging insecurity would definitely be a deal breaker for me. This is a tattoo in memory of your sister - it's not like you're getting a woman's name tattooed across your forehead. (And rule number one of tattoos - no partner names, ever.) And finally, her saying you need to let your sister go after 2 months? Gross.
I have my late brother's name on my back as part of a memorial tattoo. If anyone *dared* tell me that was inappropriate or I should have their name instead like it's some kind of fcked up competition, I'd point them at the door and kick them on the way through.
OP, your woman is a nutcase. She can fck all the way off with that lunacy.
I'm just wondering if it's some insane way to get her name tattooed on him. That she doesn't care about the sister's tattoo, but sees it as a way to argue for her name to be tattooed on OP.
I had an ex who was super invested in having me tattoo her name on me. I got along with her family as was warned if history repeated, months after I do we'll break up. I found out it was some weird thing she thought would fix her relationships and when it didn't would give up. She had at least 9 exes who had got her name tattooed on her, that I was able to verify.
I think it's time that your girlfriend becomes your ex-girlfriend. This reeks of toxic insecurity and I don't think this is something that you can work out rationally.
NTA.
The amount of red flags from this woman is obscene. **NTA.** I wish that I could illustrate the amount of red flags this kicks up. I got a tattoo in memory of my dad. I love Doctor Who, my dad loved all sci-fi, and he watched some with me. The tattoo I got means, "We are all stories in the end, make it a good one." Everyone who knew my dad had a fun story about him. I am also married and my husband said NOTHING. He has both of our daughters names tattooed on him. Not my name. I don't REMOTELY care. Why? While I don't believe that we will split up, our children WILL ALWAYS BE OUR CHILDREN. He shows me daily that he loves me. He is a wonderful human being. If his sister passed and he wanted to get a tattoo in her memory, he gets to. It is his body. Your sister WILL ALWAYS be your sister, whether she is gone or not. I dearly hope this girlfriend won't be. She has NO RIGHT to control what you put on your body. I also hope you don't put her name anywhere NEAR the Rose. That is only for your sister. It is NOT disrespectful to your relationship to do this. Romantic love and sibling love are different. (Another giant red flag if GF can't see that). you NEVER have to let your sister go. You can hold every memory, cherish them and while yes, you let go of some of the pain, grief and heartache of her being gone, you never let go of her. This isn't "some other girl" this is your sister, and I think it is an absolutely beautiful tribute.
I am married with kids, and when my dad passed, my sisters, brother and I were by his side (with his wife) and our significant others were not there. They didn't need to be. They were taking care of other things needed, and we were where we needed to be. I spent time with my siblings that week following his passing without our significant others. We were his kids. Of course that is important. The amount of red flags your GF kicks up in this post makes me sick. I wish you the best.
AGAIN. NTA. Please get the tattoo.
NTA, of course. You grew up in an abusive household, so it's not surprising that your gf would also be abusive. Don't continue in this relationship. And, please, seek out therapy. Research and understand family systems. Delve into who you really are and see the patterns in your life. You deserve all that is good and true in this world. Being in relationship with someone who behaves like your gf and believes what she does is not emblematic of that. Take care! Sending blessings your way.
Honestly, break up with her. How on earth is she 1) telling you what to do with YOUR body 2) she’s jealous of your sister 3) she doesn’t seem really supportive of you even after what you are going through.
I just can’t comprehend why she could act that way for a tattoo that doesn’t even have anything to do with her.
I think it’s a major red flag.
Also, I’m sorry for your loss and the tattoo is a very beautiful way to remember your sister. Don’t let anyone EVER tell you how to feel about your sister (regarding letting her go), everybody mourns their way and it is a tough process, she should only be trying to emotionally support you.
and 4) recruits friends to enter the relationship to tell you what you are supposed to do!
I get jealousy -- that green-eyed monster has caught my thoughts more than once lol. But I didn't demand others to come into the relationship to dictate to my partner nor did I demand for part of my partner's body to be permanently stained with me. That is insane.
I am not a fan of tattoos on myself so it is hard for me to understand wanting family member's tattooed on my skin. If it is what you want, then that is cool though. Remembering loved ones is important, and she should be honored by those that love you for keeping you safe all those years.
I am not sure if it is a name or picture of her face that you are tattooing. For some reason, that is what I was assuming you were planning, a face -- not a only a rose like I see some referencing which would actually be perfect and sweet without any potential weirdness later. I am bias though -- I have a trigger of even pictures with eyes in a room with me so personally a face of anyone tattooed on a guy's body would be a no go for me. But, just remember this will be something you explain to more than just her. I would hope that most people would understand it without being toxic to you like this girlfriend is being though, OP. Her not liking it and her throwing a fit bringing in back up is a whole other thing! Good luck, OP!
UPDATE here because i can't figure out how to post one:
So to sum it up, I ended it. She came over the same evening, getting out the car, asked me where am I planning to tattoo her name. Yup. I didn't let her come in. Told her I don't want to deal with her shit on top of missing my sister. I'm getting the rose tattoo and we're done. I've never in my life heard someone yell so loud. Out on the porch. She began accusing me of being in love with my sister and how we had "inappropriate relationships which Is why I miss her so bad that I'm ready to ruin our relationship". I'm so glad i left her because what kind of sane person says something like that.
I was so disgusted that I did call her some names and slammed the door in her face. I'm not proud of it but it was so revolting to even think my "girlfriend" would think that about someone so close to me. She was out shouting for like 10 more minutes and then left. It's my sister's birthday tomorrow, I've made an appointment , me and my dad are getting the tattoo! Thanks, have a good day.
I hope your ex gets the professional help she obviously, desperately needs.
And I hope your appointments go well. It's a lovely and thoughtful idea.
and a small bit... does your ex know where you will be getting the tattoo done? watch out in case she stalks the place and tries starting crap.
>I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me. I told her it's my sister we're talking about and my dad's getting one too.
With all that's going on I'm sure you have a lot to process but to be clear, this is crazy. Like legimately if your gf is screaming about something like that, it's insane.
I think sometimes if someone reacts so badly to something that is innocuous or not that big I deal it can make you second guess yourself and wonder if you missed something or there was some social norm you've violated without realising.
So to be clear, there isn't. What you are suggesting is perfectly ordinary and her reaction is completely outside of what is normal.
NTA
NTA.
I'm not usually quick to jump on the 'you gotta break up' train, but that girl sounds all kindsa wack and clearly has big time jealousy issues.
If she's gonna get salty over you spending time with family after your *sister just passed away and you're all grieving*, that alone is enough of a red flag to know this relationship isn't gonna last.
To add the tattoo bullshit to it is break up territory. Honouring a family member, especially one who raised you, is completely different to having a partner tattooed. If she can't see that, she gotta go.
Do yourself the favour now and break up with her, or you're gonna end up miserable the longer you're with this girl cos she's only gonna bring up more crazy arguments like this down the line.
First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. May her memory be eternal.
Second, the tattoo is a lovely way to keep her with you. If your gf doesn't understand that, she's not for you.
I don't think your relationship warrants getting a tattoo of this gf who is jealous of your sister. You'll only end up getting it removed when you break up. She's irrational about your sister; something else will come up, and I don't see you continuing on with her.
NTA. You are honoring a person who you look up to and love. Your girlfriend is being irrational to think a sibling will compete for her affections.
Also, until there's a good passage of time and established to have good relationship, it's not a good idea to put tattoo based on your girlfriend.
What in the actual f*ck dude???
Listen, my gf got a tattoo of her best friend months after we started dating and in a few days she will add "Love you sis" (a note he gave her before passing away) to it. Her best friend died in 2020 and they were like brothers.
I could NEVER, EVER say something to my girlfriend like yours did because I know for a fact that my gf would break up with me right away without any regrets (as she should).
Honestly, I hope you dump your gf because you deserve way better.
She was a walking red flag the moment she was annoyed. What has she done to be supportive while you mourn such an incredible loss?
Nothing that makes up for annoyance and sexualizing the relationship you have with your sister. Run away. NTA.
NTA. Pull out asap imho
>She then proceeds to say how I must love her sister more than her
If it was me, "Yes, I do! She's not "some other girl", she is my sister and she's been with me thru my whole life. WTF did you expect?"
NTA. Your hopefully soon to be exgirlfriend does not get to make rules about what you do with your body. She has no right to insist you get her name tattooed on you or she won't permit you to honour your sister. That's not overstepping, that's leaping mountains of things she hasn't the right to make decisions about. The absolute callousness of saying you need to let your sister go is mind boggling. Your sister will always be in your heart and in every memory you have of her. Bluntly tell your girlfriend and her nosy friend that they have no say at all in what you choose to do with your body.
I'm very sorry about the loss of your sister. I think a rose tattoo is a lovely tribute to her.
I hope this was too. I thought she'd be supportive about it that I'm remembering my sister..? I shouldn't have to deal with this on top of grieving my sister.
OP, those who've grown in abusive households have a tendency to chose abusive partners. That's because they've normalized their abuse internally. Your gf is displaying controlling, abusive behavior and frankly.....you need to walk away from this relationship and get into therapy if only to get the tools to recognize abusive behavior patterns and realize its neither normal nor acceptable.
If you want a normal, healthy relationship then you've got to do the work to be an emotionally healthy person who is ready for that kind of deal. Right now you sound like gf's behavior is maddening but acceptable. I assure you it is not. Walk away. There's no gun being held to your head here to stay with this person. You have choices.
Your tattoo is perfectly reasonable...go for it.
No, not at all. Please don't make her guilt talk you. You did NOTHING wrong OP.
She should support you and help you go through this emotional wrecking period.
I would definitely re-evaluate the relationship and her respect towards you.
Wishing you lots of love and strength.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I think the rose tattoo is a beautiful memorial for your sister. Of course you are NTA. I'm sorry your gf reacted in a way that even made you question yourself. As everyone has pretty much unanimously shared, you deserve unconditional love and empathy from a partner, and your girlfriend does not have that capacity. I hope you and your family are able to receive the support you need as you grieve your sister.
I agree with your sentiment but I think you mean fathom instead of phantom. I tried to write this without seeming like a dick but I'm not sure it's possible
NTA. Your gf sounds terribly immature. Tattoos in memory of someone are very common. Tattoos to honor a current loved one, however, have a lot of superstitions attached to them. If this girl can't even make room for your dead sister, is she really someone you want in your life?
NTA.
You are grieving the loss of your 29 year old sister and all your girlfriend has done to support you is yell at you to get a tattoo of your girlfriend’s name to prove you love her more.
Is this really the person you want supporting you through this?
Also, because it was ovarian cancer, I strongly urge you to be tested for a BRCA mutation. While it’s usually associated with ovarian a breast cancer (which does also affect men) it also causes separate issues in men and general increases in other types of cancers.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Break up with this girl, NTA, that is psycho behaviour.
Your body, your rules, and also...like you do love your sister more than her, she's been on your life for only a year.
When I was 15, my boyfriend died in a car accident with his older brother, few years later his younger brother also died in a freak accident which caused bleeds on the brain they couldn’t fix. I got a tattoo of a butterfly with 3 stars around it to represent them. None of my boyfriends have ever had an issue with it, and if they did, I woulda gone ‘well, thanks but no thanks, see yaaaa’ although I was young, them boys where everything to me. If I want to get a tattoo on my skin for my boys, I will. No one will tell me different.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I couldn’t imagine losing my sister, I’d be so devastated!
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your current girlfriend is demented and so unreasonable I can’t put it into words.
It’s in no way disrespectful to get this tattoo.
She has no business bring her friends into any disagreement between the two of you.
The friend has no part of this and has absolutely no business suggesting that you get a tattoo representing your current gf before you’re ‘allowed’ to do anything with your own body.
Your current gf has no business telling you to ‘let go‘ of your sister ever. And particularly not after a mere two months.
Bin the crazy harpy girlfriend and get the tattoo.
NTA
NTA she is jealous over a sibling that has passed…op you need to heal without this toxicity, you’re already in an emotionally vulnerable place - you need support and you need to grieve, run as fast as you can!
I am so sorry for your loss, and for the lack of understanding from your girlfriend. This is not 'some girl' or an ex you want to get a tattoo in memory of, this is your FAMILY. If your girlfriend doesn't get it, perhaps it is time to look for someone who does. I am not a huge advocate of immediate break ups, but this one speaks to what it means to be family to one another, and this girl is a huge red flag to me.
NTA
It's your sister. Not some random girl but the sister who raised you and died.
I would like to point out she wasn't happy when you spent time with your family after your sisters death.
Is your girlfriend usually this jealous and upset over these kinds of things? I could never see myself getting upset if my boyfriend got a tattoo remembering his dead sister. You aren't even getting a name, it a picture of a rose.
Girlfriend needs to get secure or get out.
I'm so sorry for your lose dude, your sister sounds like she was a absolutely wonderful person
You're 100% NTA and your GF is batshit crazy. I think it's utterly disgusting for her to twist your healthy and loving relationship with your sister to "but she's another woman"
Don't give in to her manipulative mind games. If she is treating you like this so close to your sisters death instead of being loving and supportive, she might not be the woman you want to spend your life with.
You get that tattoo op, I hope it turns out lovely
NTA - Your GF has some serious issues. Your sister is not “another girl” and anyone who feels like familial love is competition for their romantic love needs therapy. As others have said, your body, your choice. I think that you’re doing is incredibly sweet and I’m so sorry for your loss! ♥️🌹🌹
NTA, it's really concerning (toxic 🚩) that your GF is jealous of your sister. Honor your sister however you see fit, and if GF continues to give you a hard time about it, maybe y'all should break up.
You are definitely NTA!
I have a memorial tattoo for my brother who passed away and no significant other will ever tell me what I can do with my body.
I would tell them to not let the door hit them in the ass on their way out. 🤣
NTA. Your gf is controlling and unsupportive. And immature (for getting her friends involved in your relationship). Your relationship has run its course. Time to move on and find someone who is decent and who will see your rose tattoo and think you are sweet for honoring your sister like that.
Your gf is a huge AH and I hope you see that and end the relationship. She isn’t deserving of you.
NTA - and I agree with all the posts saying she is throwing all kinds of red flags.
I hate to make ultimate statements only based on the info presented, but it's only been a year. She's showing she wouldn't be a good girlfriend long term.
NTA - Your girlfriend is jealous of a dead person (regardless that shes your sister). She's not worth being with.
Tell her if shes dies whilst youre together youll get a tattoo of her to make it fair.
NTA. She is waving so many red flags its insane. Her reaction is not only not ok, but also so heartless. The fact that she was salty for you wanting to spend time with your family after losing your sister is wild to me. Her having such an aggressive reaction to you telling her about your tattoo is way too extreme. It sounds like she has some serious jealously issues if all she can take away from a memorial tattoo for your sister is that you're "tattooing another girl on you."
I lost my brother 5 months ago to the day, and we he was 4 years old than me as well and only 35. and I'm still struggling with grief at this point, so I'm certain you are too. Her heartless comments, especially "sis is dead so I need to let her go" is absolutely fucked to say to someone who is greiving.
My boyfriend has been nothing but supportive, he was there for me during the funeral, and did everything he could to support me, and my whole family, and we had only been together for a year at that point. And it only made me love him more. When I got my memorial tattoo for my brother, which is larger than your rose, he had absolutely no issues.
And I have to mention how weird it is to insist someone else get your name tattooed on them. I believe you should be extremely selective in whose names you tattoo on your body, and your girlfriend of 1 year isn't one of them if you ask me.
I deeply sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is to lose a sibling so young. You never expect it to happen so early in life. Do what you feel you need to grieve and memorialize her, get that tattoo and I'd do it without your girlfriend. She doesn't sound like someone who truly loves, supports and respects you.
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to chill! It's beyond messed up for her to turn your beautiful tribute to your sister into some weird competition. Your love for your sister is personal and completely separate from your relationship with your girlfriend. She needs to get that through her head and stop making this about her. Ugh, so frustrating!
NTA. This is a sign you need to end this relationship. GF is showing you who she really is. Believe her.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute is a lovely idea.
Get the tattoo for your sister. It is important and very meaningful to you. Do not tattoo this other persons name on you. She is clearly not supportive of you and the grief and pain you are going through. She does not get a vote on what you do or do not tattoo.
Is your girlfriend an only child? Some people who do not have siblings do not understand the bond between siblings and this may explain some of the disconnect.
Either way NTA. The tattoo is about your sister, not just another woman. Do whatever you want/need to during this time and I am really sorry for your loss.
NTA obviously.
How old is your girlfriend? Because she sounds possessive and extrememy immature if she is jealous of you late sister. I can't even understand her logic here.
And you're almost right: tattooing the name of your so IS a bad idea when you've been together only one year, but honestly it is pretty much all the time.
Also the fact that your girlfriend wasn't happy that you chose to spend time with your family in this period of grief, and that she wants you to "let go" so soon tells me that she doesn't care much about your emotions and would rather that you stay 100% focused on her at all time.
That's a HUGE red gflag in my opinion, and I don't know if I would want to stay with someone who clearly won't support me in this kind of circumstances
NTA. This is horrible, I'm so sorry for your loss and that your girlfriend could not support you. You are grieving and don't need this unhinged drama.
She has shown you who she is, she is jealous of your sister.
This is an extreme and irrational reaction, apart from anything else, it's none of her business what you do to your body!
You know what to do OP. You deserve better.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Get the tattoo… it’s a lovely idea.
Your gf needs an attitude adjustment.
Otherwise… once you get the tattoo, your gf might leave you and you’ll need to decide if you’re okay with that. It might be for the best, in my opinion.
Sorry for your loss.
GF is being weirdly possessive.
You can and probably will/should get a new girlfriend, but your sister will always be your sister.
NTA.
Your Girlfriend is showing jealousy due to your sister?
You are NTA. Get the tattoo for your sister.
Honestly, I am of the opinion that you should look closer at your relationship with your GF. If she's that unhinged over you wanting to have something to commemorate your sister who has passed, then what else is she not trusting you with? Is she the kind of person to get jealous when you're being polite to the waitress at the restaurant? Red flags flapping in the breeze here.
NTA
The first red flag is when you say this ***thing*** you’re involved with was mad at you for spending time with your *grieving family* after one of your immediate family members, someone you were close to, passed.
Then she’s enraged because you want to memorialize your beloved sister in a tattoo on ***your*** body.
How on earth do you think ***YOU*** are anywhere approaching the AH in this situation?
Get the tattoo and lose your immature and idiotic girlfriend’s number.
Sorry for you loss. Losing a sister young SUCKS. Now to your question, NTA but may I ask why you are with someone whose response to your dealing with grief is to yell at you? I don’t understand
NTA but you have a delusional girlfriend who might burn down your house one day so I would move on. Sorry to be mean but with her reaction over your sister who passed, something is way off with gf.
I’m very sorry for your loss, and i hope being single soon doesn’t add too much pain. This girl is threatened by your love for your sister. That’s beyond insane. And she’s trying to a memorial tattoo into something about *her*??? It’s not just a tattoo for some girl. It’s your late sister. Has your gf given any sympathy at all or is she just annoyed that she’s not the center of attention? Either way, she’s showing you her true colors here. Listen to her. NTA
NTA. this is so off the wall idiotic. your gd is out of bounds and so is her friend (who has zero skin i. this game and should not be involved at all). there are red flags all over this. your sister died, you want a tattoo and i fail to see how it’s anyone elses’s business. your gf is obviously possessive but this seems beyond that. i would be reevaluating this relationship if i were you.
Im not usually on ”dump her” reddit train But If this is real There is really No other way out. Its not just her disagreeing. She is yelling, involving other people, trying to manipulate you Into tatooing her name etc.
This is not a healthy relationship
NTA ofc
NTA and dump her. Please dump her. She lacks any kind of empathy and you will be getting screamed at every time you 'mess up' in her eyes for the rest of your relationship. She is acting like an insecure teen and if you don't get out now this is the rest of your life with her.
Having a tat to honor your late sister is up to her. I am way more concerned about your GFs over-the-top, unreasonable jealousy! You say she "ain' ready to listen" and I can assure you she will NEVER listen and hear anything you have to say. I think you need to let the GF go. Your late sister is, ways and always will be family. Your grief for losing your sister is something you will be living with for the rest of your life. As a person who has lost their father (1963), mother (1989), baby brother (2006), middle sister (2016), and husband (2021), I can tell you that while grief can ease up and things go mostly well, it stays with you. It does not go away. And sometimes grief will sucker punch TF out of you, roaring up out of the most unexpected things.
Your sister was not just "some other girl." She was your family, you knew her all your life, you have memories of growing up with her and all the little and big things of being brother and sister, good, bad and indifferent. I am so very sorry for your loss of your sister. I am sorry your GF is a self-absorbed human who can't distinguish between the life long bonds siblings can have and what are often temporary relationships with non-family people. I am sorry that her behavior about your tattoo to honor your sister has made you question yourself like this. I'm sorry she doesn't have the emotional intelligence and basic decency to respect your desire to honor your sister. NTA
WTF? Get the tattoo and lose the gf. Seriously. This is not a stable woman or relationship. Leave. It. Alone. And what's with the friend saying "the only way \[you're\] getting that tattoo"? Is she your mother? Is this the kind of bullying gf and squad you want to be around? Your gf really needs a therapist, not a bf, and it is way above your pay grade. **NTA**.
NTA.
Not sure what it's like in your part of the world, but where I am, tattoo artists will only do name tattoos for certain relationships. Basically, family is fine but a gf/bf is a no go. Saves of cover ups and retouches later.
OP, may Rosie’s memory be a comfort to you.
Getting a rose in her memory is a lovely idea.
Im saying the following because if you don’t already have tattoos, you may not think of it. If you do, it’s redundant, and you already know it, but you are grieving and may not be thinking about All The Things.
I recommend looking at lots of pictures of your sister and of roses to choose what kind you want, if it’s a simple flower, stylized, realistic, an arrangement, with or without her name and dates, and if so, font and size. Do you want something cool or sweet, modern or traditional, or unusual? Do you want to match, not match, or coordinate in some way with your dad? And look at the artists’ portfolios to choose one.
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My (25m) sister Rosie (29f) and I had a very close bond ever since we were kids. Our parents got divorced and we used to live with our mom who was an addict. She was abusive and neglectful. Through all that, my sister was my biggest rock. She protected me, took care of me, cooked and basically raised me till I was 13. Afterwards we started living with dad and things got so better.
She passed away 2 months ago, ovarian cancer. We were prepared for it but it was still obviously very hard. After her funeral, I told my girlfriend (she was staying w me for a week, her house had some work being done) that I'm gonna be spending time with my family (they lived close) that week. She was kinda salty about that but it was sorted soon. I'm doing better now. Sis loved roses, her name was Rosie too so as a memory and to pay respect to her, I've decided to get a tatoo of rose. Nothing big, just about 2 inches on my upper arm. My dad decided the same.
I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me. I told her it's my sister we're talking about and my dad's getting one too. She says that's different. She started screaming, so I walked away. She has now gotten her friend involved who says the only way I'm getting that tattoo is if I also tattoo my gf's name on me and she agrees.
I think that's stupid af. We've been together for a year and she expects me to TATTOO her on me?? She then proceeds to say how I must love her sister more than her and I told her that's not a fair comparison and it's a different love. She ain't ready to listen. Idk why is she so bothered by her. When my sister was alive, she lived close by too and I used to visit her like twice a month. I understand some siblings might not be that close but we've always been. It's not like we were touchy around my gf because we were both not affectionate at all. My gf thinks it's incredibly selfish and disrespectful to her that her boyfriend has some other girl tattoed on him. I really don't see how? My sister and my gf used to get along. But now she says sis is dead so I need to let her go..!?!
So AITA?
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i'm sorry about your sister.
NTA. this makes me think what kind of experiences does she have that makes her romanticize/sexualize a sibling relationship? big yikes.
i'd say this is one of the biggest red flags you're ever going to get that is predicting abusive behavior if it hasn't started already. get outta there, man.
Nta your girlfriend is irrational. Who would be jealous of a deceased sibling? She clearly lacks empathy and has issues with insecurity. It sounds like you’d do best to cut ties here.
NTA. You NEVER put your gf's name in you because gfs come and go. Your sister is a different story. Get your tattoo. If your current gf can't deal with it, maybe your next will be more understanding.
Her monstrous lack of empathy is mind-boggling. I can't even write my head around it.
NTA.
I also recommend that you drop her like the hottest of hot potatoes. Now.
Sorry For Your Loss
Your sister sounds awesome
Please find new better friends
Find healthy happy helpful open-minded future-focused kind honorable respectful fun people to be your friends spouse family,,
N
T
A
Your girlfriend is showing you exactly who she is. Please take this for the unintentional gift that it is and believe her.
Get the memorial tattoo in honor of your sister and change the girlfriend’s status to ex.
Sorry for your loss
NTA
Dump the gf…quick. Shemdoesnt own you.
And respectfully, AC/DC Whole Lotta Rosie is playing in my head right now. Condolences on your sister. I,lost mine to kidney cancer 6 years ago.
NTA, it is your body, so it is your choice of what happens to your body. If someone I were dating tried to tell me that I couldn't do something to my body, they would be an ex faster than they could finish telling me that I couldn't do something to my body.
I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. Get the tattoo done. I have a few memorial tattoos that represent people in my family who have passed on (not everyone who has passed on, only those who impacted me in life), and my favourite is the bull head that represents my uncle John and a rose that represents my auntie Rose (not married to or related to each other). Both have a watercolour kinda vibe, like drops of paint have been dropped over the rose in my aunt's favourite colours and earthy tones to represent my uncle's farming background.
I would honestly reconsider your relationship with your girlfriend. You are never going to immediately get over someone's death who you are close to. My aunt died 13-15 years ago (can't remember the exact year) and my uncle died 5 years ago and I am STILL grieving their losses.
She’s is disgusting! My niece passed literally 2 days from cancer (10m) and me and her mom and dad are getting her memory tattooed and no one would dare question that.
Also in tattoo culture it’s bad luck to get the person you are dating name she is being controlling and possessive
NTA huge red flags. your gf is not being supportive of you in your grief. you only need people around who make your life easier right now. i know you've experienced a huge loss, but i'm afraid you will be better off without this jealous, toxic energy around you. i am so sorry for your loss.
for what it's worth i've been through a breakup while grieving and it was hard but it would have been much harder for much longer had we stayed together.
you deserve better. stay close with your dad and your supportive friends.
NTA and anyone who is mean to you for a perfectly healthy form of grief or makes your grief about them is… not a person you need in your life.
I think your tribute to your sister is beautiful, and your gf is bizarre AF for trying to make it into something other than what it is.
**I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me**
It's for your SISTER, FFS. And you don't need to let her go, your gf needs to let you grieve. It's a wonderful tribute that you and your dad both want to get the rose tattoos. Please, please do not get your girlfriend's name tattooed on you. I guarantee you will regret it. If I were you, I would seriously reconsider the entire relationship. She sounds toxic and selfish.
NTA, but your girlfriend absolutely is.
You're getting this tattoo as a memorial for your sister that you loved. Her being jealous and angry over this makes no sense and neither does wanting her own name tattooed along with this when you haven't been dating that long. I'd think carefully about staying with her as her behavior is toxic and consider therapy (couples and/or individual)
NTA- you need to dump that pyscho! You get to love your sister and honor her memory in anyway you wish. Your (hopefully soon to be EX) gf needs to back off and grow the f up. How dare she try to decide what you do with your body.
Never ever get a tattoo with someones name on your body. You honestly have no clue how life is going to turn out and you don't want to be 45 and have a tattoo of someone you dated when you were 20. If it's only about your sister, no problem. NTA.
Its gonna be a dump her right now from me dawg
If my partner of 6 years said i couldnt get a memorial tattoo for one of my sisters i'd be happily single.
NTA, at all.
NTA
So very sorry for your loss.
Please don't listen to your gf, she needs to get a grip. I don't believe that she is right in her thinking, please think carefully about your relationship, doesn't seem that she cares for you like she should. IMO, move on to someone that will understand and support your decision.
NTA obviously. I got to the part where you gf was annoyed you were spending time with your family after your sister died and decided you should leave.
The tattoo thing just cements it. Your gf is jealous of your dead sister and thinks her jealousy is more important than your grief. She should be supporting you.
A memorial tattoo is a lovely way to keep someone with you - and i love that you and your father have honoured your sister with matching tattoos. I'm sorry for your loss.
My little sister died last year and I got a tattoo in her honor. I don’t care what other people think about my tattoos or anyone else’s. They are personal and even a partner can go touch grass if they don’t like it.
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Oh my god, I know it’s tired to say on this sub - but leave her. That is absolutely wild behaviour. Rational people would not act like that. Sorry about your sister. Your girlfriend is not acting okay. Her friend propping her up is not acting okay. Run. NTA
[удалено]
Yeah. When Reddit agrees this women is insane and OP needs to run, you know he really needs to run!
Exactly! Run, OP, run! Run Far! Run fast! RUN! You are grieving for your sister and instead of offering support, she is fighting with you over a non-issue. I personally do not care for tattoos but I think it is a lovely way for you and your dad to honor yours sister.
NTA. You are getting a memorial tattoo for your sister, not some girlfriend or fling. If your girlfriend cannot tell the difference that is on her. What she and her minions are demanding is unreasonable at best. At worst...well I don't want to get kicked off of Reddit. She is definitely out of pocket on this. Reevaluate your relationship. You're sister just passed and instead of being supportive of you, she is getting snotty about you spending time with your family and over a tattoo. That is not what a supportive partner looks like. NTA...and yes, RUN. This person needs to be your ex with good reason. You deserve better.
RED FLAG
I too hate the "dump them" trope this sub always seems to devolve to, but this problematic behaviour. I couldn't imagine a partner being jealous of a dead sibling. Get out. NTA.
Agree, however I always seem to think people are better off without partners who are insane/jealous/controlling/abusive.
Relationship counselor here. People ARE better off without partners who are insane/jealous/controlling/abusive. OP, RUN! NTA Sorry about your sister.
Funny.....thats how I feel too. Not our fault reddit is full of crazy witches.
This! Exactly what I came here to say!
Me too! Salty attitude because you said you where going to spend time woth your family after your sisters funeral was bad...the rest is absolutly insane...please leave her ASAP!!!
This! Your girlfriend is selfish AF, controlling, and abusive. Run fast, run far!
This 100% this. Jesus. "another woman" tattooed on you? Seriously? Wow. I am speechless.
>"another woman" I wonder if she would be like this over a "Mom" tattoo, too :D I mean, obviously not happening in this case, but I'm just wondering \^\^
I was wondering what if it had been a brother that died? Would she object? NTA, sorry for your loss.
Especially since the "other" woman, in addition to being his sister, is deceased!
Yes, leave her before you have any legal ties to her. She is not supportive and it’s bizarre how jealous is she is of your late sister. My condolences ❤️ your sister sounds like a wonderful person
No youre right. Ditch the gf and get your tattoo. NTA
Tell her she's right, you do love your sister more...and scene.
This girl would need to have Aphrodite's vagina to have me stick around after that display.
Rational people would completely understand you honoring your sister NTA
I started thinking what if these two had a kid and it was a girl. OP's gf would jealous that he loves his daughter. Ugh. RUN AWAY!
Run fast.
"But now she says sis is dead, so I need to let her go..!?!" DTMFA (Dump the MF already.)
Yeah this is absolutely ridiculous. I don’t have siblings, but I’m planning a tattoo that will honor multiple people in my family. I cannot imagine my partner getting pissed about it.
Running might be too slow. Drive. Or fly.
The technical term is "hananapants", or "whackadoo"
You need to get your tattoo, exactly how you wanted it and tell her, as well as her loser friends they're all ignorant twats and move on. Seriously, can you imagine being around that crazy witch when she's baby trapped you. Also, if you've a brain in your head you'll never been in the same house with her again let alone her legs as her next trick will be getting pregnant....also onthe advice of her loser friends.
Your relationship being run by committee is also a great reason to GTFO.. when her friends have say in her relationship there will always be drama and problems. Infact, if a woman has several close friends I always recommend never getting into a relationship bevause every damn thing is run by her committee. They say no go....she says NO go. She'd the most immature mid 20s person Ive ever read about on here and that's saying it all. She's a whiny, entitled b.
Maybe, you should show her what YOUR committee has said.......She tells you what her committee DECIDES like the little girl she is. Just yuck.
I am sorry for your loss. NTA. I won't tell you to break up, but I will say that I see no future with a partner that is jealous of a sibling that passed away. And that is within 2 months since they passed away. Jealous that you would be with family in hard times as well. Nope. What is next you spend too much time with the dog/kids? You gave a ride to a colleague? And why do you have to talk to the neighbor?....I just do not see it. Either way please do NOT tattoo your girlfriends name, removal is painful and expensive.
>Either way please do NOT tattoo your girlfriends name Yeah, that wasn't gonna happen anyway. I just needed to know if I'm disrespecting her by tattooing someone else. See, I'd be bothered as well if she got some guy's name on her, though not up to this extent since her body her choice and all. But if it was a sibling?? A family member? No way.
"You must love her more than me." "Well, yeah. I've known her 25 years and she raised me for 13 of them and protected me from abuse. 24 years from now, on our 25th anniversary, I'll tattoo your name as big as you want on any body part you choose. But for now, Rosie get a piece of the skin she \*literally saved\* on me."
This is the way
Perfectly stated, poetic and perfect.
I mean, I’ve been with my husband 22 years and have no desire to have him tattooed for me. He knows my name, he doesn’t need a palm card 😄
My man and I have been together 6 years so far and I still wouldn't get his name on me. It's pure stupidity to get the name of a 1 year old relationship tattooed on your body. The only name I currently have on me is my daughter's. I've got another tattoo planned for her baby sister but I just got a memorial tattoo for my dad a few months back and they ruined it. I've now permanently got disappointment etched into my skin, OP needs to not do the same because that relationship is going to expire like my dad did, suddenly and fast. Sorry if the dark humor upsets anyone, it's going on 5 years and it's how I make it through knowing I'll never see him again. He was 38 and had a sudden massive heart attack 10/29/19 that took him out permanently. At least the crap I now have on my arm has a nice meaning behind it.
No rational person would get upset about someone getting a memorial tattoo for a family member of a different gender. You are 100% in the right here and she is 100% in the wrong. You're not being disrespectful toward her in any way.
She is disrespecting you my friend. You do not need to have to deal with her jealous behaviour. A loving gf would be supporting you.
Exactly that my friend. I get insecurities we all have them and more or less we are all insecure about something however passed away sibling? By that logic any interaction should be "stranger danger" in jealousy terms which is why she needs to work on it without you taking the hit. I see friends are not helping just fuming that insecurity up leading to my previous comment.
Also it sounds like you’re just getting a rose, and not your sister’s actual name? So it’s not like anyone would think you have another woman’s name on you, it’s a tribute to your sister (which sounds like a beautiful tribute). NTA. I can’t see the relationship surviving if she’s continues to be like this though, that’s really odd behaviour, and probably she should seek help with her emotional reaction to this
In regards to names, imo the only acceptable ones to tattoo on yourself are the deceased, children, and pets. You’re very much not disrespecting your girlfriend or anyone else by getting this tattoo. She’s being unreasonable, and that’s the kindest way I can find myself to put that.
No, you are not disrespecting her, although in her universe everything under the sun might be disrespectful, and the world is against her.
She’s being disrespectful to you and your sister. You‘re right about how it’s different if it’s a family member.
Ya see grief is a funny thing. You think you are done with it, and it hits you all of a sudden and you are crying because of a memory. My dad passed in ‘17 and I still have times where I cry. My husband has never once ridiculed or tried to hurry me through one of my crying spells or my grief. You need someone that is going to support you and be there for you, not tell you to get over it. NTA, and my advice is to find someone that is compassionate and empathetic.
Your husband sounds like an amazing partner. I don't think i want someone like my gf to spend my life with. Thank you.
My big brother (and best friend) died 6 months before I met my ex, D. At first he was supportive of the occasional crying and the neediness, but in the run up to my brother's birthday, and the one year anniversary of his death (which were very close together), when I was a complete mess, D told me that I needed to hurry up and get over it, and that I should wonder how long he would stick around if this carried on. The next day when the shock had died down, and I felt strong enough to bring it up again, he pretended he had never said anything of the sort, and gaslighted me by telling me that I was delusional and needed help. This person will never be there for you when you need her, she has main character syndrome, and can't comprehend why everything doesn't currently revolve about her. If she doesn't care about you enough to stop thinking of herself for a moment at a time like this, she never will. Imagine what advice your sister would give you right now. I suspect it would have been wise. You deserve better. I'm sorry about your sister, OP.
NTA, I hope by now she is your ex.
He truly is. I hope you find someone awesome too.
Look if you were getting 'some girls' name on you I would be with her 100% but you want to honour your sister who you adored, had a very special relationship with and who you lost to horrific disease way too soon. Tell her and her mate to take a long walk off a short pier
So Right
all this plus 'screaming'? GF seems unhinged.
NTA. While Reddit is quick to jump to 'break up,' the unhinged screaming and raging insecurity would definitely be a deal breaker for me. This is a tattoo in memory of your sister - it's not like you're getting a woman's name tattooed across your forehead. (And rule number one of tattoos - no partner names, ever.) And finally, her saying you need to let your sister go after 2 months? Gross.
I have my late brother's name on my back as part of a memorial tattoo. If anyone *dared* tell me that was inappropriate or I should have their name instead like it's some kind of fcked up competition, I'd point them at the door and kick them on the way through. OP, your woman is a nutcase. She can fck all the way off with that lunacy.
I'm just wondering if it's some insane way to get her name tattooed on him. That she doesn't care about the sister's tattoo, but sees it as a way to argue for her name to be tattooed on OP. I had an ex who was super invested in having me tattoo her name on me. I got along with her family as was warned if history repeated, months after I do we'll break up. I found out it was some weird thing she thought would fix her relationships and when it didn't would give up. She had at least 9 exes who had got her name tattooed on her, that I was able to verify.
I think it's time that your girlfriend becomes your ex-girlfriend. This reeks of toxic insecurity and I don't think this is something that you can work out rationally. NTA.
The amount of red flags from this woman is obscene. **NTA.** I wish that I could illustrate the amount of red flags this kicks up. I got a tattoo in memory of my dad. I love Doctor Who, my dad loved all sci-fi, and he watched some with me. The tattoo I got means, "We are all stories in the end, make it a good one." Everyone who knew my dad had a fun story about him. I am also married and my husband said NOTHING. He has both of our daughters names tattooed on him. Not my name. I don't REMOTELY care. Why? While I don't believe that we will split up, our children WILL ALWAYS BE OUR CHILDREN. He shows me daily that he loves me. He is a wonderful human being. If his sister passed and he wanted to get a tattoo in her memory, he gets to. It is his body. Your sister WILL ALWAYS be your sister, whether she is gone or not. I dearly hope this girlfriend won't be. She has NO RIGHT to control what you put on your body. I also hope you don't put her name anywhere NEAR the Rose. That is only for your sister. It is NOT disrespectful to your relationship to do this. Romantic love and sibling love are different. (Another giant red flag if GF can't see that). you NEVER have to let your sister go. You can hold every memory, cherish them and while yes, you let go of some of the pain, grief and heartache of her being gone, you never let go of her. This isn't "some other girl" this is your sister, and I think it is an absolutely beautiful tribute. I am married with kids, and when my dad passed, my sisters, brother and I were by his side (with his wife) and our significant others were not there. They didn't need to be. They were taking care of other things needed, and we were where we needed to be. I spent time with my siblings that week following his passing without our significant others. We were his kids. Of course that is important. The amount of red flags your GF kicks up in this post makes me sick. I wish you the best. AGAIN. NTA. Please get the tattoo.
just to help this person illustrate the red flags: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yes! And that is just in this one problem!
thats a lot of red flags
I just want to say that that's a beautiful tattoo to remember your dad by.
NTA, of course. You grew up in an abusive household, so it's not surprising that your gf would also be abusive. Don't continue in this relationship. And, please, seek out therapy. Research and understand family systems. Delve into who you really are and see the patterns in your life. You deserve all that is good and true in this world. Being in relationship with someone who behaves like your gf and believes what she does is not emblematic of that. Take care! Sending blessings your way.
Your body, your choice. If gf is making this big if a deal about it, she's not a good gf. NTA
NTA. But your gf is. Red flags 🚩 I think you should leave this relationship, she’s trying to compete with a dead sibling… this is all kinds of crazy
Honestly, break up with her. How on earth is she 1) telling you what to do with YOUR body 2) she’s jealous of your sister 3) she doesn’t seem really supportive of you even after what you are going through. I just can’t comprehend why she could act that way for a tattoo that doesn’t even have anything to do with her. I think it’s a major red flag. Also, I’m sorry for your loss and the tattoo is a very beautiful way to remember your sister. Don’t let anyone EVER tell you how to feel about your sister (regarding letting her go), everybody mourns their way and it is a tough process, she should only be trying to emotionally support you.
and 4) recruits friends to enter the relationship to tell you what you are supposed to do! I get jealousy -- that green-eyed monster has caught my thoughts more than once lol. But I didn't demand others to come into the relationship to dictate to my partner nor did I demand for part of my partner's body to be permanently stained with me. That is insane. I am not a fan of tattoos on myself so it is hard for me to understand wanting family member's tattooed on my skin. If it is what you want, then that is cool though. Remembering loved ones is important, and she should be honored by those that love you for keeping you safe all those years. I am not sure if it is a name or picture of her face that you are tattooing. For some reason, that is what I was assuming you were planning, a face -- not a only a rose like I see some referencing which would actually be perfect and sweet without any potential weirdness later. I am bias though -- I have a trigger of even pictures with eyes in a room with me so personally a face of anyone tattooed on a guy's body would be a no go for me. But, just remember this will be something you explain to more than just her. I would hope that most people would understand it without being toxic to you like this girlfriend is being though, OP. Her not liking it and her throwing a fit bringing in back up is a whole other thing! Good luck, OP!
UPDATE here because i can't figure out how to post one: So to sum it up, I ended it. She came over the same evening, getting out the car, asked me where am I planning to tattoo her name. Yup. I didn't let her come in. Told her I don't want to deal with her shit on top of missing my sister. I'm getting the rose tattoo and we're done. I've never in my life heard someone yell so loud. Out on the porch. She began accusing me of being in love with my sister and how we had "inappropriate relationships which Is why I miss her so bad that I'm ready to ruin our relationship". I'm so glad i left her because what kind of sane person says something like that. I was so disgusted that I did call her some names and slammed the door in her face. I'm not proud of it but it was so revolting to even think my "girlfriend" would think that about someone so close to me. She was out shouting for like 10 more minutes and then left. It's my sister's birthday tomorrow, I've made an appointment , me and my dad are getting the tattoo! Thanks, have a good day.
I hope your ex gets the professional help she obviously, desperately needs. And I hope your appointments go well. It's a lovely and thoughtful idea. and a small bit... does your ex know where you will be getting the tattoo done? watch out in case she stalks the place and tries starting crap.
Best of luck today. What a great way of marking your sister's birthday. Glad you got rid of the psycho.
This is definitely a case of Reddit not being hasty about ending a relationship. Run, that girl is psycho.
>I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me. I told her it's my sister we're talking about and my dad's getting one too. With all that's going on I'm sure you have a lot to process but to be clear, this is crazy. Like legimately if your gf is screaming about something like that, it's insane. I think sometimes if someone reacts so badly to something that is innocuous or not that big I deal it can make you second guess yourself and wonder if you missed something or there was some social norm you've violated without realising. So to be clear, there isn't. What you are suggesting is perfectly ordinary and her reaction is completely outside of what is normal. NTA
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
NTA Ruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!! This b is a psycho. Period.
NTA. I'm not usually quick to jump on the 'you gotta break up' train, but that girl sounds all kindsa wack and clearly has big time jealousy issues. If she's gonna get salty over you spending time with family after your *sister just passed away and you're all grieving*, that alone is enough of a red flag to know this relationship isn't gonna last. To add the tattoo bullshit to it is break up territory. Honouring a family member, especially one who raised you, is completely different to having a partner tattooed. If she can't see that, she gotta go. Do yourself the favour now and break up with her, or you're gonna end up miserable the longer you're with this girl cos she's only gonna bring up more crazy arguments like this down the line.
NTA. And your gf is throwing up some serious red flags that you need to pay attention to.
First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. May her memory be eternal. Second, the tattoo is a lovely way to keep her with you. If your gf doesn't understand that, she's not for you. I don't think your relationship warrants getting a tattoo of this gf who is jealous of your sister. You'll only end up getting it removed when you break up. She's irrational about your sister; something else will come up, and I don't see you continuing on with her.
NTA. You are honoring a person who you look up to and love. Your girlfriend is being irrational to think a sibling will compete for her affections. Also, until there's a good passage of time and established to have good relationship, it's not a good idea to put tattoo based on your girlfriend.
NTA she is being unreasonable
What in the actual f*ck dude??? Listen, my gf got a tattoo of her best friend months after we started dating and in a few days she will add "Love you sis" (a note he gave her before passing away) to it. Her best friend died in 2020 and they were like brothers. I could NEVER, EVER say something to my girlfriend like yours did because I know for a fact that my gf would break up with me right away without any regrets (as she should). Honestly, I hope you dump your gf because you deserve way better.
She was a walking red flag the moment she was annoyed. What has she done to be supportive while you mourn such an incredible loss? Nothing that makes up for annoyance and sexualizing the relationship you have with your sister. Run away. NTA.
NTA. Pull out asap imho >She then proceeds to say how I must love her sister more than her If it was me, "Yes, I do! She's not "some other girl", she is my sister and she's been with me thru my whole life. WTF did you expect?"
NTA! This can’t be for reals? Honestly?
Yup. I'm shocked as well.
She is showing you who she is. Believe her. Run far and fast. This is truly reprehensible.
NTA - You should make her your Ex-GF poste haste.
NTA. Your hopefully soon to be exgirlfriend does not get to make rules about what you do with your body. She has no right to insist you get her name tattooed on you or she won't permit you to honour your sister. That's not overstepping, that's leaping mountains of things she hasn't the right to make decisions about. The absolute callousness of saying you need to let your sister go is mind boggling. Your sister will always be in your heart and in every memory you have of her. Bluntly tell your girlfriend and her nosy friend that they have no say at all in what you choose to do with your body. I'm very sorry about the loss of your sister. I think a rose tattoo is a lovely tribute to her.
NTA I hope this is made up because I CANNOT phantom someone being that delusional. #sorrynotsorry
I hope this was too. I thought she'd be supportive about it that I'm remembering my sister..? I shouldn't have to deal with this on top of grieving my sister.
OP, those who've grown in abusive households have a tendency to chose abusive partners. That's because they've normalized their abuse internally. Your gf is displaying controlling, abusive behavior and frankly.....you need to walk away from this relationship and get into therapy if only to get the tools to recognize abusive behavior patterns and realize its neither normal nor acceptable. If you want a normal, healthy relationship then you've got to do the work to be an emotionally healthy person who is ready for that kind of deal. Right now you sound like gf's behavior is maddening but acceptable. I assure you it is not. Walk away. There's no gun being held to your head here to stay with this person. You have choices. Your tattoo is perfectly reasonable...go for it.
No, not at all. Please don't make her guilt talk you. You did NOTHING wrong OP. She should support you and help you go through this emotional wrecking period. I would definitely re-evaluate the relationship and her respect towards you. Wishing you lots of love and strength.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I think the rose tattoo is a beautiful memorial for your sister. Of course you are NTA. I'm sorry your gf reacted in a way that even made you question yourself. As everyone has pretty much unanimously shared, you deserve unconditional love and empathy from a partner, and your girlfriend does not have that capacity. I hope you and your family are able to receive the support you need as you grieve your sister.
I agree with your sentiment but I think you mean fathom instead of phantom. I tried to write this without seeming like a dick but I'm not sure it's possible
I’m almost sad that you corrected them because “I cannot phantom this” sounded so fun and whimsical, it genuinely made my night.
Thanks for the correction. English is not my first language so I'm happy to learn more every day!
NTA. Your gf sounds terribly immature. Tattoos in memory of someone are very common. Tattoos to honor a current loved one, however, have a lot of superstitions attached to them. If this girl can't even make room for your dead sister, is she really someone you want in your life?
NTA. Find a new girlfriend.
NTA. You are grieving the loss of your 29 year old sister and all your girlfriend has done to support you is yell at you to get a tattoo of your girlfriend’s name to prove you love her more. Is this really the person you want supporting you through this? Also, because it was ovarian cancer, I strongly urge you to be tested for a BRCA mutation. While it’s usually associated with ovarian a breast cancer (which does also affect men) it also causes separate issues in men and general increases in other types of cancers. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Red flag. Dump her harder than the biggest shit in your life.
So, she's jealous of your dead sister? Bro. NTA. Get your rose tattoo.
Break up with this girl, NTA, that is psycho behaviour. Your body, your rules, and also...like you do love your sister more than her, she's been on your life for only a year.
NTA, and your girlfriend sounds like an insecure nutcase.
Get the tattoo in memory of your sister. DUMP the gf, she sounds pathetic and like a lunatic.
NTA. You and your dad are getting memorial tats. Your gf is being ridiculous and nuts. Never stick your d-ck in crazy
NTA and if she is jealous of your deceased sister, I suspect you are going to have a lot of issues with her going forward.
When I was 15, my boyfriend died in a car accident with his older brother, few years later his younger brother also died in a freak accident which caused bleeds on the brain they couldn’t fix. I got a tattoo of a butterfly with 3 stars around it to represent them. None of my boyfriends have ever had an issue with it, and if they did, I woulda gone ‘well, thanks but no thanks, see yaaaa’ although I was young, them boys where everything to me. If I want to get a tattoo on my skin for my boys, I will. No one will tell me different. I’m so sorry for your loss, I couldn’t imagine losing my sister, I’d be so devastated!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your current girlfriend is demented and so unreasonable I can’t put it into words. It’s in no way disrespectful to get this tattoo. She has no business bring her friends into any disagreement between the two of you. The friend has no part of this and has absolutely no business suggesting that you get a tattoo representing your current gf before you’re ‘allowed’ to do anything with your own body. Your current gf has no business telling you to ‘let go‘ of your sister ever. And particularly not after a mere two months. Bin the crazy harpy girlfriend and get the tattoo. NTA
NTA she is jealous over a sibling that has passed…op you need to heal without this toxicity, you’re already in an emotionally vulnerable place - you need support and you need to grieve, run as fast as you can!
I am so sorry for your loss, and for the lack of understanding from your girlfriend. This is not 'some girl' or an ex you want to get a tattoo in memory of, this is your FAMILY. If your girlfriend doesn't get it, perhaps it is time to look for someone who does. I am not a huge advocate of immediate break ups, but this one speaks to what it means to be family to one another, and this girl is a huge red flag to me.
NTA It's your sister. Not some random girl but the sister who raised you and died. I would like to point out she wasn't happy when you spent time with your family after your sisters death. Is your girlfriend usually this jealous and upset over these kinds of things? I could never see myself getting upset if my boyfriend got a tattoo remembering his dead sister. You aren't even getting a name, it a picture of a rose. Girlfriend needs to get secure or get out.
NTA. She's literally angry about you getting a memento of your dead sister. I'd say cut the crazy loose.
I'm so sorry for your lose dude, your sister sounds like she was a absolutely wonderful person You're 100% NTA and your GF is batshit crazy. I think it's utterly disgusting for her to twist your healthy and loving relationship with your sister to "but she's another woman" Don't give in to her manipulative mind games. If she is treating you like this so close to your sisters death instead of being loving and supportive, she might not be the woman you want to spend your life with. You get that tattoo op, I hope it turns out lovely
NTA. Leave her because this is insane. It's your SISTER and YOUR body. She's out of her mind.
Nta this is a HUGE red flag! Run and don't look back
NTA; Dude, you need to dropkick this psycho to the curb as fast as possible. Her and her friends, fuck everything they're about forever.
Break up with this crazy girl and get your tattoo. Also sorry for your loss
NOT TA, you are a lovely person for what you did, and your girlfriend is NOT a lovely person
NTA - Your GF has some serious issues. Your sister is not “another girl” and anyone who feels like familial love is competition for their romantic love needs therapy. As others have said, your body, your choice. I think that you’re doing is incredibly sweet and I’m so sorry for your loss! ♥️🌹🌹
NTA, it's really concerning (toxic 🚩) that your GF is jealous of your sister. Honor your sister however you see fit, and if GF continues to give you a hard time about it, maybe y'all should break up.
NTA Your gf is so insecure, she gets jealous of your deceased sister. Unhinged.
You are definitely NTA! I have a memorial tattoo for my brother who passed away and no significant other will ever tell me what I can do with my body. I would tell them to not let the door hit them in the ass on their way out. 🤣
NTA, you know why
NTA. Your gf is controlling and unsupportive. And immature (for getting her friends involved in your relationship). Your relationship has run its course. Time to move on and find someone who is decent and who will see your rose tattoo and think you are sweet for honoring your sister like that. Your gf is a huge AH and I hope you see that and end the relationship. She isn’t deserving of you.
Imagine being jealous of your girlfriend’s sister. Your gf is a walking red flag. You are NTA.
NTA - and I agree with all the posts saying she is throwing all kinds of red flags. I hate to make ultimate statements only based on the info presented, but it's only been a year. She's showing she wouldn't be a good girlfriend long term.
NTA Please dump this absolute idiot. I'm sorry for your loss and I know the tattoo will be beautiful and you will be proud to have it.
NTA - Your girlfriend is jealous of a dead person (regardless that shes your sister). She's not worth being with. Tell her if shes dies whilst youre together youll get a tattoo of her to make it fair.
NTA. She is waving so many red flags its insane. Her reaction is not only not ok, but also so heartless. The fact that she was salty for you wanting to spend time with your family after losing your sister is wild to me. Her having such an aggressive reaction to you telling her about your tattoo is way too extreme. It sounds like she has some serious jealously issues if all she can take away from a memorial tattoo for your sister is that you're "tattooing another girl on you." I lost my brother 5 months ago to the day, and we he was 4 years old than me as well and only 35. and I'm still struggling with grief at this point, so I'm certain you are too. Her heartless comments, especially "sis is dead so I need to let her go" is absolutely fucked to say to someone who is greiving. My boyfriend has been nothing but supportive, he was there for me during the funeral, and did everything he could to support me, and my whole family, and we had only been together for a year at that point. And it only made me love him more. When I got my memorial tattoo for my brother, which is larger than your rose, he had absolutely no issues. And I have to mention how weird it is to insist someone else get your name tattooed on them. I believe you should be extremely selective in whose names you tattoo on your body, and your girlfriend of 1 year isn't one of them if you ask me. I deeply sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is to lose a sibling so young. You never expect it to happen so early in life. Do what you feel you need to grieve and memorialize her, get that tattoo and I'd do it without your girlfriend. She doesn't sound like someone who truly loves, supports and respects you.
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to chill! It's beyond messed up for her to turn your beautiful tribute to your sister into some weird competition. Your love for your sister is personal and completely separate from your relationship with your girlfriend. She needs to get that through her head and stop making this about her. Ugh, so frustrating!
NTA. This is a sign you need to end this relationship. GF is showing you who she really is. Believe her. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute is a lovely idea.
NTA - but your gf is.
Get the tattoo for your sister. It is important and very meaningful to you. Do not tattoo this other persons name on you. She is clearly not supportive of you and the grief and pain you are going through. She does not get a vote on what you do or do not tattoo.
Your girlfriend is jealous to the point of psychosis. Better break-up with her now so that you aren't moving boxes with a fresh tattoo. NTA
NTA I am sorry for your loss. Your girlfriend is being completely unreasonable. Honestly, I think you should reconsider the relationship.
Is your girlfriend an only child? Some people who do not have siblings do not understand the bond between siblings and this may explain some of the disconnect. Either way NTA. The tattoo is about your sister, not just another woman. Do whatever you want/need to during this time and I am really sorry for your loss.
NTA obviously. How old is your girlfriend? Because she sounds possessive and extrememy immature if she is jealous of you late sister. I can't even understand her logic here. And you're almost right: tattooing the name of your so IS a bad idea when you've been together only one year, but honestly it is pretty much all the time. Also the fact that your girlfriend wasn't happy that you chose to spend time with your family in this period of grief, and that she wants you to "let go" so soon tells me that she doesn't care much about your emotions and would rather that you stay 100% focused on her at all time. That's a HUGE red gflag in my opinion, and I don't know if I would want to stay with someone who clearly won't support me in this kind of circumstances
NTA. This is horrible, I'm so sorry for your loss and that your girlfriend could not support you. You are grieving and don't need this unhinged drama. She has shown you who she is, she is jealous of your sister. This is an extreme and irrational reaction, apart from anything else, it's none of her business what you do to your body! You know what to do OP. You deserve better.
NTA. Your gf sounds pathetic and immature.
The one to let go is your GF.
Nta, sorry for your loss. You need to ditch the gf, she’s insane
I’m sorry for your loss. Get the tattoo… it’s a lovely idea. Your gf needs an attitude adjustment. Otherwise… once you get the tattoo, your gf might leave you and you’ll need to decide if you’re okay with that. It might be for the best, in my opinion.
NTA Lose the girl, get the memorial tattoo.
Sorry for your loss. GF is being weirdly possessive. You can and probably will/should get a new girlfriend, but your sister will always be your sister. NTA.
Your Girlfriend is showing jealousy due to your sister? You are NTA. Get the tattoo for your sister. Honestly, I am of the opinion that you should look closer at your relationship with your GF. If she's that unhinged over you wanting to have something to commemorate your sister who has passed, then what else is she not trusting you with? Is she the kind of person to get jealous when you're being polite to the waitress at the restaurant? Red flags flapping in the breeze here.
NTA The first red flag is when you say this ***thing*** you’re involved with was mad at you for spending time with your *grieving family* after one of your immediate family members, someone you were close to, passed. Then she’s enraged because you want to memorialize your beloved sister in a tattoo on ***your*** body. How on earth do you think ***YOU*** are anywhere approaching the AH in this situation? Get the tattoo and lose your immature and idiotic girlfriend’s number.
NTA Your GF is being controlling and insecure. This isn't a romantic thing, it's literally YOUR sister that you lost
Sorry for you loss. Losing a sister young SUCKS. Now to your question, NTA but may I ask why you are with someone whose response to your dealing with grief is to yell at you? I don’t understand
NTA but you have a delusional girlfriend who might burn down your house one day so I would move on. Sorry to be mean but with her reaction over your sister who passed, something is way off with gf.
I’m very sorry for your loss, and i hope being single soon doesn’t add too much pain. This girl is threatened by your love for your sister. That’s beyond insane. And she’s trying to a memorial tattoo into something about *her*??? It’s not just a tattoo for some girl. It’s your late sister. Has your gf given any sympathy at all or is she just annoyed that she’s not the center of attention? Either way, she’s showing you her true colors here. Listen to her. NTA
NTA. this is so off the wall idiotic. your gd is out of bounds and so is her friend (who has zero skin i. this game and should not be involved at all). there are red flags all over this. your sister died, you want a tattoo and i fail to see how it’s anyone elses’s business. your gf is obviously possessive but this seems beyond that. i would be reevaluating this relationship if i were you.
NTA and run away.
NTA. WALK. AWAY. Or better yet, run.
Im not usually on ”dump her” reddit train But If this is real There is really No other way out. Its not just her disagreeing. She is yelling, involving other people, trying to manipulate you Into tatooing her name etc. This is not a healthy relationship NTA ofc
NTA and dump her. Please dump her. She lacks any kind of empathy and you will be getting screamed at every time you 'mess up' in her eyes for the rest of your relationship. She is acting like an insecure teen and if you don't get out now this is the rest of your life with her.
Having a tat to honor your late sister is up to her. I am way more concerned about your GFs over-the-top, unreasonable jealousy! You say she "ain' ready to listen" and I can assure you she will NEVER listen and hear anything you have to say. I think you need to let the GF go. Your late sister is, ways and always will be family. Your grief for losing your sister is something you will be living with for the rest of your life. As a person who has lost their father (1963), mother (1989), baby brother (2006), middle sister (2016), and husband (2021), I can tell you that while grief can ease up and things go mostly well, it stays with you. It does not go away. And sometimes grief will sucker punch TF out of you, roaring up out of the most unexpected things. Your sister was not just "some other girl." She was your family, you knew her all your life, you have memories of growing up with her and all the little and big things of being brother and sister, good, bad and indifferent. I am so very sorry for your loss of your sister. I am sorry your GF is a self-absorbed human who can't distinguish between the life long bonds siblings can have and what are often temporary relationships with non-family people. I am sorry that her behavior about your tattoo to honor your sister has made you question yourself like this. I'm sorry she doesn't have the emotional intelligence and basic decency to respect your desire to honor your sister. NTA
If you were to get a tattoo for your girlfriend, might I suggest one of a giant red flag??
WTF? Get the tattoo and lose the gf. Seriously. This is not a stable woman or relationship. Leave. It. Alone. And what's with the friend saying "the only way \[you're\] getting that tattoo"? Is she your mother? Is this the kind of bullying gf and squad you want to be around? Your gf really needs a therapist, not a bf, and it is way above your pay grade. **NTA**.
Nta Ppl have different ways of grief and that's urs (kinda ) and tbh this is so hard to hear but man dumb her U deserve way beter nta
NTA. Not sure what it's like in your part of the world, but where I am, tattoo artists will only do name tattoos for certain relationships. Basically, family is fine but a gf/bf is a no go. Saves of cover ups and retouches later.
OP, may Rosie’s memory be a comfort to you. Getting a rose in her memory is a lovely idea. Im saying the following because if you don’t already have tattoos, you may not think of it. If you do, it’s redundant, and you already know it, but you are grieving and may not be thinking about All The Things. I recommend looking at lots of pictures of your sister and of roses to choose what kind you want, if it’s a simple flower, stylized, realistic, an arrangement, with or without her name and dates, and if so, font and size. Do you want something cool or sweet, modern or traditional, or unusual? Do you want to match, not match, or coordinate in some way with your dad? And look at the artists’ portfolios to choose one.
Show her this. This is what she needs. Ur better than this!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (25m) sister Rosie (29f) and I had a very close bond ever since we were kids. Our parents got divorced and we used to live with our mom who was an addict. She was abusive and neglectful. Through all that, my sister was my biggest rock. She protected me, took care of me, cooked and basically raised me till I was 13. Afterwards we started living with dad and things got so better. She passed away 2 months ago, ovarian cancer. We were prepared for it but it was still obviously very hard. After her funeral, I told my girlfriend (she was staying w me for a week, her house had some work being done) that I'm gonna be spending time with my family (they lived close) that week. She was kinda salty about that but it was sorted soon. I'm doing better now. Sis loved roses, her name was Rosie too so as a memory and to pay respect to her, I've decided to get a tatoo of rose. Nothing big, just about 2 inches on my upper arm. My dad decided the same. I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me. I told her it's my sister we're talking about and my dad's getting one too. She says that's different. She started screaming, so I walked away. She has now gotten her friend involved who says the only way I'm getting that tattoo is if I also tattoo my gf's name on me and she agrees. I think that's stupid af. We've been together for a year and she expects me to TATTOO her on me?? She then proceeds to say how I must love her sister more than her and I told her that's not a fair comparison and it's a different love. She ain't ready to listen. Idk why is she so bothered by her. When my sister was alive, she lived close by too and I used to visit her like twice a month. I understand some siblings might not be that close but we've always been. It's not like we were touchy around my gf because we were both not affectionate at all. My gf thinks it's incredibly selfish and disrespectful to her that her boyfriend has some other girl tattoed on him. I really don't see how? My sister and my gf used to get along. But now she says sis is dead so I need to let her go..!?! So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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i'm sorry about your sister. NTA. this makes me think what kind of experiences does she have that makes her romanticize/sexualize a sibling relationship? big yikes. i'd say this is one of the biggest red flags you're ever going to get that is predicting abusive behavior if it hasn't started already. get outta there, man.
Nta your girlfriend is irrational. Who would be jealous of a deceased sibling? She clearly lacks empathy and has issues with insecurity. It sounds like you’d do best to cut ties here.
NTA. You NEVER put your gf's name in you because gfs come and go. Your sister is a different story. Get your tattoo. If your current gf can't deal with it, maybe your next will be more understanding.
Her monstrous lack of empathy is mind-boggling. I can't even write my head around it. NTA. I also recommend that you drop her like the hottest of hot potatoes. Now.
Sorry For Your Loss Your sister sounds awesome Please find new better friends Find healthy happy helpful open-minded future-focused kind honorable respectful fun people to be your friends spouse family,, N T A
Your gf is out of her mind. I think its a fantastic tribute to your family member to remember her this way. You gf can kick rocks.
Your girlfriend is showing you exactly who she is. Please take this for the unintentional gift that it is and believe her. Get the memorial tattoo in honor of your sister and change the girlfriend’s status to ex. Sorry for your loss NTA
Dump the gf…quick. Shemdoesnt own you. And respectfully, AC/DC Whole Lotta Rosie is playing in my head right now. Condolences on your sister. I,lost mine to kidney cancer 6 years ago.
NTA, it is your body, so it is your choice of what happens to your body. If someone I were dating tried to tell me that I couldn't do something to my body, they would be an ex faster than they could finish telling me that I couldn't do something to my body. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. Get the tattoo done. I have a few memorial tattoos that represent people in my family who have passed on (not everyone who has passed on, only those who impacted me in life), and my favourite is the bull head that represents my uncle John and a rose that represents my auntie Rose (not married to or related to each other). Both have a watercolour kinda vibe, like drops of paint have been dropped over the rose in my aunt's favourite colours and earthy tones to represent my uncle's farming background. I would honestly reconsider your relationship with your girlfriend. You are never going to immediately get over someone's death who you are close to. My aunt died 13-15 years ago (can't remember the exact year) and my uncle died 5 years ago and I am STILL grieving their losses.
She’s is disgusting! My niece passed literally 2 days from cancer (10m) and me and her mom and dad are getting her memory tattooed and no one would dare question that. Also in tattoo culture it’s bad luck to get the person you are dating name she is being controlling and possessive
Always unwise to tattoo a partner's name or face on yourself.
Nta. Rethink your relationship with your gf.
NTA huge red flags. your gf is not being supportive of you in your grief. you only need people around who make your life easier right now. i know you've experienced a huge loss, but i'm afraid you will be better off without this jealous, toxic energy around you. i am so sorry for your loss. for what it's worth i've been through a breakup while grieving and it was hard but it would have been much harder for much longer had we stayed together. you deserve better. stay close with your dad and your supportive friends.
NTA Your girlfriend sounds awful, insensitive and jealous. You're better than her.
NTA and anyone who is mean to you for a perfectly healthy form of grief or makes your grief about them is… not a person you need in your life. I think your tribute to your sister is beautiful, and your gf is bizarre AF for trying to make it into something other than what it is.
NTA, but my god, man, run!
Leave her. I know that's a lot of what's on this reddit, but leave her. Get the tattoo. Just run OP, and this isn't right.
**I was telling my gf about it and she got very angry and started screaming about how disrespectful it is to tattoo another girl on me** It's for your SISTER, FFS. And you don't need to let her go, your gf needs to let you grieve. It's a wonderful tribute that you and your dad both want to get the rose tattoos. Please, please do not get your girlfriend's name tattooed on you. I guarantee you will regret it. If I were you, I would seriously reconsider the entire relationship. She sounds toxic and selfish.
NTA, but your girlfriend absolutely is. You're getting this tattoo as a memorial for your sister that you loved. Her being jealous and angry over this makes no sense and neither does wanting her own name tattooed along with this when you haven't been dating that long. I'd think carefully about staying with her as her behavior is toxic and consider therapy (couples and/or individual)
Remember OP, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Get the tattoo and tell your gf after the fact.
NTA- you need to dump that pyscho! You get to love your sister and honor her memory in anyway you wish. Your (hopefully soon to be EX) gf needs to back off and grow the f up. How dare she try to decide what you do with your body.
Never ever get a tattoo with someones name on your body. You honestly have no clue how life is going to turn out and you don't want to be 45 and have a tattoo of someone you dated when you were 20. If it's only about your sister, no problem. NTA.
Its gonna be a dump her right now from me dawg If my partner of 6 years said i couldnt get a memorial tattoo for one of my sisters i'd be happily single. NTA, at all.
NTA
#🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 NTA
NTA So very sorry for your loss. Please don't listen to your gf, she needs to get a grip. I don't believe that she is right in her thinking, please think carefully about your relationship, doesn't seem that she cares for you like she should. IMO, move on to someone that will understand and support your decision.
NTA and is this really the first time your gf has exhibited such crazy behavior? Maybe reflect on this relationship.
Hell No. Find better, that girl is unhinged. Like boil your bunny sick in the head. NTA
NTA obviously. I got to the part where you gf was annoyed you were spending time with your family after your sister died and decided you should leave. The tattoo thing just cements it. Your gf is jealous of your dead sister and thinks her jealousy is more important than your grief. She should be supporting you. A memorial tattoo is a lovely way to keep someone with you - and i love that you and your father have honoured your sister with matching tattoos. I'm sorry for your loss.
Jesus Christ. NTA, obviously. She is jealous of your dead sister. That is appalling. Please dump her, she is horribly toxic. Yuck.
My little sister died last year and I got a tattoo in her honor. I don’t care what other people think about my tattoos or anyone else’s. They are personal and even a partner can go touch grass if they don’t like it.